Void Empire 1: The Sum of All Shadows
by ToBornotToB-Rad
Summary: What happens when the Buffyverse, Harry Potter's World, and the Dark Tower all collide? Please read to find out! Don't be put off by the Horror label, it's also Comedy, Action, Fantasy, and other genres.
1. Prolouge & Ch 1

**Void Empire series:**

**Finding The Sum of All Shadows**

Disclaimer – (Just so that you know, I will be getting help from my alternate personality in writing this story, so blame him for any mistakes or outright f$&ups that happen (he will be talking in _Italics_ because he thinks he is special).) Anyways . . . if Whedon, Rowling, and any of the other authors I'm stealing from didn't own their respective works (and I did), do you think I'd be wasting my time with fan fiction? Hell no, I'd be dragging them all over the entire World of Fiction™ _(I guess we should trademark that?)_ until everyone got sick of them all. This is my first story, so please be nice, as I have no idea where it will be going until we get there (_Basically we'll be writing it and if something happens, it's due to either Fate or a bad case of indigestion_). Any romantic pairings will be purely by accident (_Lying b$Trd is a romantic sap at heart who wants you to think any relationships that happen are not our fault at all_). Productive comments are, of course, welcome (_Even though they will most likely be ignored anyways due to time constraints and a tender ego)_. I have read lots of other crossovers, so some ideas that I come up with may be found in other people's stories without my realising it. (_Bull$#!t, we stole what we could and made it look different so we could claim it as our own)_. If you recognise another author's story in here, please know that I am not intentionally plagiarizing. (_Sue away, I'll give you nothing but a decaying corpse with halitosis_). Please pay no attention to my other half, as he has neither: money to his name, sanity to his mind or even a physical form of his own. _(But I do have control over 50 of the time, so you'll do what I say when I want you to. (_Mwahahahaha_ach cough hack sputter choke).)_ By the way, if any of you are out one day and just happen to stumble across my sanity, I'd appreciate it a lot if you'd just send it on back to me. I really miss it ;(.

A/N – This story has spoilers from _many_ other series, some of which I'd like to keep a surprise for readers to go "wow, he stole from and only I recognized it", so my apologies to all involved (think of me like you would of Cinderella when her pet mice made up a dress for her made of her sister's discards). Also, I will not be posting warnings at the beginning of every chapter, because I like using the element of surprise (and I'm lazy). Therefore, this is the only warning you get. Please enjoy.

**Prologue: Dismal Dreams and Horrible Hardships For Weary Warriors**

_Buffy was running like Hell down a small alley, panting, as agonizing screams of pain pounded into her ears from all around her. Buffy looked to either side of her as she ran, only to see horrible monsters clawing off people's skin and eating them while they were still alive. She ran out into a main street, where she found the military and police forces had set up a barricade here and were mowing down the monsters that were attacking them. They held out, and Hell didn't manage to reach the barricade, but their ammo was dwindling, and whenever one Demon fell, four more seemed to spring in its place as more kept coming. Fireballs ricocheted all around, hitting the surviving troops from the transport and swatting them down like flies. Buffy saw to her horror one man trapped under the burning wreckage of the transport, while the driver was hanging out the window, his lifeless body riddled with bullet holes. Upon closer inspection she recognized him as Riley Finn, one of her ex lovers. She kept on running as if her body was on autopilot, despite her wanting to stand and fight. She raced down countless alleys that she didn't recognize, seeing people she had never known being ripped to pieces by unspeakable monsters. She then found a large sphere of green energy that was repelling the Demons, and she raced into it, just managing to dive through it as a Giant set of teeth barely missed taking off her legs._

_She rolled to a crouch and looked around, seeing her friends getting ready for battle. But as she stood up she was frozen on the spot by unknown forces as a large, dark shape appeared in the midst of her friends. It had no form, only shadows plucked from the ground and from the objects in the room and formed into a large ball of darkness not unlike a Black Hole. The massacre began when It speared Giles through the waist with a sharp point of darkness from its form, lifted him into the air, and then as the man screamed, It covered the Watcher's head before pulling back, taking his head off of his neck. It then hurled the body into the middle of ceiling above the room, and when it struck it splattered all over the room with the sick sound of breaking bone and popping flesh. The gore from his body splattered outwards before falling all over everyone else, covering everyone with blood and liquefied sinew._

_As the blood dripped from her face, Buffy heard Xander scream as It ripped him in half with another shadow blade while also draining the blood that spilled from both halves before spraying it all over and adding to the mess that was once Giles. Faith charged the monster and fought in vain as It smashed her into the ground and then ripped out her spinal cord with a shadowy claw, spraying blood all over the stone floor while leaving her alive on the floor to writhe in pain._

_Willow fired every curse she knew how at the terrible monster while Dawn tried to flee, but not only did they not work, one of Willow's stray curses was caught by It and sent into Dawn's back as she tried to run away, liquefying her skin and shattering the rest of her body on the spot. Willow looked on in horror as the creature turned to her, and swiftly grabbed her and drained her of her powers, before ripping her body apart, spraying her all over the room._

_Buffy, still trapped in her unshakable paralysis, couldn't even close her eyes as It then took a humanoid like shape before grabbing her by the head and biting her neck like one of the Vampires she was trained to Slay. As It consumed the rest of her bodily fluids, she wondered how this could have happened as the world went dark on her . . ._

"BUFFY!" Dawn hollered, waking the tossing and turning Slayer before she fell out of bed with a loud and painful crash.

It had been almost a year since they had survived the collapse of the Hellmouth in Sunnydale, and even though they had heard of a major battle coming up in LA, they were still on the run from the US authorities that had believed that they were terrorists since they were the last few people who came from the Crater-formerly-known-as-Sunnydale. Buffy and Dawn had escaped to the hotel in Rome, Italy less than a week ago and Buffy was enjoying the rest while she still could. It was just between the city and the sea and had a gorgeous view of all the monuments.

Buffy groaned as she got off the floor while Dawn barged in on her in a towel, sopping wet and holding onto a cell phone.

"Phone for you!" Dawn said with a scowl, "I was taking a shower, which is something you should try it sometime yourself by the way, when the phone went off."

This caused Buffy to groan out loud, as (in her opinion) there were times when Dawn's 17 year-old personality made her want to flog, flay, and then ground her little sister, but due to Dawn's age and (even though Buffy hated to admit to this) new found maturity, Buffy had found she was having a harder time dictating what Dawn did and did not do. She took the phone off of Dawn's hand, and put it to her ear as her sister went back to her shower.

"Buffy," said one of the voices on the other line, "you have to head back to one of the Safe Houses for awhile as Giles said there was something important going on."

"Gee," said Buffy dryly, "can you vague that up for me?"

She waited for a response, but the phone then died on her. She tried phoning back, but the phone services were really lousy in Rome at the time due to the crazy weather that was going all over the world at the time. She was about to drop the whole thing except at that moment two things occurred: her Slayer senses kicked into a mild gear (nothing immediate, just on the horizon type trouble) and the doorbell rang. She ran downstairs and went to the door, finding a note addressed to her. Inside it was a plane ticket and a note in it asking her to head over to the new Watcher's Council in England immediately. She groaned, as she went back up the stairs. She put her ear on the bathroom door and listened as Dawn sang along with one of her favourite pop bands as she was taking a shower. Buffy was about to knock, but was stopped when a mischievous idea formed in her head. She went over to one of the other bathrooms and flushed the toilet before running back to her room, causing a shriek of outrage to come from Dawn. She just got into her own room as Dawn came streaking out of the washroom to bang on her door.

"Did you just _flush_ the toilet," demanded Dawn angrily, "I _told_ you I was in the shower."

"I've been in here the entire time," Buffy lied with a grin, "besides, I have some important news for you. I've got to head back to England for awhile, it seems they've got another crisis on their hands."

"It's ok," said a now calming Dawn as she grabbed some of Buffy's clothes and dressed herself, "I can take care of myself."

"I know," said Buffy, "just don't go blowing all our money on shopping and scams. Remember that knife selling business you got into and cost us a lot of money on?"

"Hey, I didn't know Cutco was made up of scam artists," Dawn complained, "but we _did_ get good knives out of the deal. Besides, they're in the US, not here."

"So are the government agents who want to arrest us for blowing up Sunnydale." Buffy reminded her. "Either way, the message remains the same. I'll be back whenever, so please take care of Andrew and the rookie Slayers here."

Dawn practically screamed with joy as Buffy then went out and hailed a cab to the airport, where she caught a plane to England. Once there, she hitched a ride to a large mansion belonging to one of Giles' associates in England. Although it was huge, they had to share rooms because of the sheer amount of Slayers that were present there. She walked in the room and found the Scoobies all huddled together like in her dream. Feeling a bit apprehensive, she walked boldly towards where they were all standing. As they saw her, they broke the circle, letting her see the platinum haired Vampire they were talking to.

"Spike! You're alive?" wondered Buffy aloud when she finally stopped and looked at Spike. Spike almost smirked before Buffy added, "this definitely takes bringing back the dead to live out of the miracle category". Dejectedly, Spike sat down while the others laughed.

"Hello to you too luv," said Spike dryly, "it's nice to see you here. Although I wish it could be in better circumstances."

"What's the sitch?" asked Buffy as she grabbed a seat.

"Well, for the past year I've been working with the Poofter's group," said Spike, "even though they were now working for one of the Big Bad groups, Wolfram and Hart. Well, Angel had the bright idea of taking out their inner circle before they could initiate one of those end-of-the-world schemes that they think up of. It went all good, except for the part about the Big Bads having a back up plan."

"What sort of back-up plan?" Asked Buffy curiously.

"The sort that involves a million Demons stampeding over the forces of good," said Spike, "we _thought_ we were ready for them, but we were totally unprepared for what happened . . ."

_Begin Flashback_

"Lets go to work." Angel said, raising his sword in preparation for the tens of thousands of Demons hurtling towards them.

Spike, Illyria, and Gunn all ran forward, attacking the monsters with suicidal regards. As they fought, Angel took the lead, with Spike not far behind him. Both of them used their swords, their feet, whatever other weapons they could get a hold of, and whenever they needed to they bit and drank from their enemies to help replenish their energies. Gunn was putting his axe fighting to good use; killing the Demons that came towards him even though he himself was near death. Illyria was administering powerful shots to each creature in her line of fire, killing them instantaneously due to her own Demonic strength.

"You guys good?" Angel called over the noise, checking up on his remaining group members.

"Oh yeah – just –" Spike stabbed the neck of a exceptionally large Demon, causing blood and gore to shoot out all over the ground, "- peachy!"

"Angel! I don't know how long I can keep on going!" Gunn yelled, his sword connecting with a Demons face.

Angel was about to reply, but he then got swarmed and was lost in a world of carnage. It was turning into an unending routine. Kill one, then another comes, kill that one, then two or more others ... It just went on for what seemed like an eternity. Spike was faintly aware of Angel battling off to his left, and Illyria a little further off and to his right. But as for Gunn, Spike couldn't see him anywhere. He wanted to call out, but he figured Gunn was DOA once he saw Gunn's wounds.

Spike felt a burst of heat above him and realised the Dragon he saw beforehand was flying overhead. _Have to be careful of that fire,_ he thought gloomily, _it'd be just as dangerous getting hit by that, as it would be walking out into the sunlight at high noon._

Spike continued to fight, stabbing one Demon through its' stomach with his sword while ripping the throat out of another one with his teeth.

_This is hopeless_, Spike began to think. _We're not getting anywhere and it's only a matter of time before the sun rises_.

As he battled for what seemed like forever, he lost sight of Angel and Illyria. For all he knew, they could both be dead. Spike began to give up but then; he started to get a strange awareness as he looked at the masses of Demons. Although he couldn't see it, he got the sense that something was happening behind them.

He fought on, looking up to see where the Dragon was and was shocked by what he saw. The Dragon was writhing in the air, twisting and turning in different directions. As it turned, Spike saw that there was someone on its neck, riding it like a professional bull rider.

_A Slayer!_ Thought Spike with a burst of hope. _When there's one, there might be more._ As he thought this, hundreds of Slayers suddenly came around the Demons, attacking them and killing them off. By the hundreds the Demons were slaughtered, the ground a disgusting mass of blood, guts and slime. Spike kept on fighting, and after some time the Demon hoard was whittled down to only a few, which then fled screaming into the morning. He would have continued, except for the sun, forcing him to retreat into one of the vehicles the Slayers had brought. They took him back to their place for the day, and as soon as he could get a hold of the Watchers Council he booked a flight for England.

_End flashback_

"Illyria and the poofter may be still alive," stated Spike after he told them his story, "but they've been captured for sure."

"How can you be sure they're alive?" asked Buffy.

"One of the Slayers saw them both get dragged under a hundred Demons," came the reply from Spike, "so my guess is someone is trying to use them for something that needs them to be alive. We have to find them and stop it before it happens."

"That's pretty vague. Did you see any signs of where they could have been taken?" asked Buffy, who was eager to go and find Illyria and Angel.

"We didn't catch a location although a name of a company was on one of the Demons," he said. He then suddenly thought of something he had seen.

"Have any of you heard of Sombra?" The others all shook their heads, as they had neither heard of nor seen the name before.

"Well, I guess this means we'll have to ask around. I guess I should put in a call to –" The ringing phone interrupted Buffy's idea. She went over to it and picked it up.

"Hi, we were just -," "What, Andrew's _dead_?" "Dawn's been _what_ again?" "I can't leave her alone for more than ten minutes without her being _snatched_." "Alright, I'll get over there, ASAP". Buffy slammed the phone down and said angrily, "Dawn's been kidnapped _again_! The Slayers in Italy were attacked, but one of them saw that one of the attackers had a logo on its shirt saying 'Sombra\North Central Positronics' on it, so I guess we know what energy they're trying to use with the sacrifices they are trying to do."

"What sort of Demon goes around with a logo on their shirts?" mused Spike as they all went to get ready for the flight back to Italy.

During this, Dawn had come groggily to while chained up to a wall in a room with the words North Central Positronics Ltd. on the opposite wall between a smiley face with a gunshot wound between the eyes on the left and a red eye painted on the wall to the right. She looked around and saw Angel, or what was left of him as he was hanging from a hook through his skull, his body skinned, his limbs cut off and his entrails hanging out of his stomach all the way to the floor, covering the ground with bits and pieces of gore and bodily fluids. He had been bled dry, and he was still alive although just barely. Low, clacking laughter filled the air, and she looked to where the noise was coming from she saw some sort of man-thing came shambling into through a door.

"Well, hello there lil' pard-ner," this thing drawled, allowing Dawn to look into its face. "I didn't believe in the Key when I heard about it, but seein' is believin' if yah ask me."

What Dawn saw of it was both hideous and hilarious at the same time, like a clown car crash on a California interstate freeway would be. It had the body of a man in a suit, and it could have been any regular former-hippy-turned-CEO if not for its head, which was in the shape of a birds' head.

"Gosh, I forgot to introduce myself," it chortled, laughter barely being suppressed. "My name is Bob, and I'm a proud member of North Central Positronics. You could say I'm this world's CEO of it."

"I would like to express my sincerest gratitude towards you and your friends for collapsing the Hellmouth in Sunnydale as well as having the Angel Investigations eliminate the Circle Of The Black Thorn and its Senior Partners for you. Because of you destroying them, you created Chaos. After the dust settled, not only was California in ruins, the entire nation of the US was at the edge of disintegration. There have been riots, power outages, disease, starvation, and terrorist threats. The authorities are, or should I say, were," 'Bob' said while clacking his beak in amusement, "incapable of dealing with the situation; as a result, our own players stepped in to 'lend a hand'. Now we are in control of every branch of the US government and the United Nations. I personally think you sped up the timetable we had set by at least a century. Congratulations, sweetheart, you played right into the Crimson King's hands," 'Bob' said happily.

_What do you mean?_ Dawn tried to say, but all she could do was choke on the rag that was in her mouth. 'Bob' reached over and patted her on the head.

"There, there, _daddy's_ here to make it all better," chided 'Bob'. "Why lookey here, we even have one of your friends here to keep you company." He gestured off to his left and Dawn looked, seeing not only Angel but also a TV monitor, where on the screen it showed Illyria in a machine being zapped with energy and drained of her Demonic blood. As Dawn looked on in dismay, Illyria was drained dry, and then slowly skinned while being kept alive by machines.

"We need her blood mainly, but it doesn't hurt to have every last bit of her just in case." Chuckled 'Bob' as he walked towards Dawn while brandishing a syringe in one hand.

"Don't worry sweetheart," he said before stopping in front of Dawn. "We need you alive for now, but your time will come soon enough."

Meanwhile, Spike and the two Slayers had landed their plane safe and sound, but they were forced to wait before going to look for Dawn, as some really Appocalypsy stuff was happening around the world, as it just seemed to fall apart at the seams. Volcanoes and earthquakes erupted beneath the sea, causing tsunamis to race across the globe. Ancient and new volcanoes spewed fire and ash into the sky, causing the air to become covered in smoky clouds that covered the sky, making it into almost perpetual twilight around the world. Hurricanes pounded on every country, driving ashy hailstones the size of golf balls into the land, killing people and destroying almost everything. Earthquakes hit every continent, causing entire cities to collapse into the ground. The scientists claimed Global Warming, the theologians claimed Armageddon, and neither were that far off the mark.

Italy itself wasn't spared, as water and ice rushed over the canals of Venice and flooded the lower areas of the city. People everywhere had to head for high grounds as sewage and muck rose over the areas below sea level. This made it easier for Vampires and Demons to attack the people en masse, so the Original Slayers and Spike had to gather up the Slayers that they could find and defend the people against the advancing hoard of monsters.

It would have been impossible for an average person to find where the hiding place of North Central Positronics with all the insanity going around, but due to the Slayer's prophetic dreams, Spike's ability to sniff out clues, and some old-fashioned gumshoe work, the three were able to find out that the N.C.P. was located under the Vatican. But even with all their abilities, it still took several weeks in order to find it.

After breaking into the Vatican (Spike helped knock out a few high priests and got burned for his troubles), Faith, Spike and Buffy looked around the Holy See, until they found the vault leading to the underground. The security guards that were located around the main area were pushovers, but the labyrinth underneath turned out to be very difficult indeed . . .

"We've been searching down here for about two days now", complained Faith as they trudged through one of the thousands of passageways. "We're running out of food and water. Peroxide head here" gesturing to Spike, who gave an audible "oi!" in protest, "can have his fill of rats, but if we don't find where they're hiding the others . . . "

"Hey!" Buffy cut her off. "I'm just as tired and hungry as you are, but that's my kid sister that's in trouble here, so if you want to leave you go right ahead. I'm staying to look around for her, and when I find whoever took her I will personally set their asses up an appointment with my foot."

"Hey!" Said Spike, motioning the Slayers over, "I found some of Angel's blood. Luckily the Poofter was bleeding all over when whoever nabbed him brought him this way, kindly leaving us a nice trail to follow." Spike sniffed around, and then raised his head and set off.

"Come on kiddies, time to follow the bleeding Yellow Brick Road!" He said as they all went down the path. After many untold hours, they came upon a metal door with a red eye on it. They went up to it and Spike put his ear to the door to hear what was inside.

Inside the chamber, 'Bob' stood by a vat containing Angel's blood as well as Illyria's blood and liquefied organs. He tapped his foot and carefully poured the last of Dawn's blood into the vat. 'Bob' waited and studied the liquids. He looked at Dawn, who was pinned up against a wall, alive but bleeding. Her blood was slowly dripping onto her schoolbag.

"Ok, almost time to put in the final ingredient." He said brightly before the Slayers knocked the steel door down.

The Slayers and Spike came in and saw the sorry shape Dawn was in.

"Ah, I see you have finally arrived." 'Bob' turned around and began to speak. "Although I was expecting you sooner, I . . ."

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Buffy screamed. "I'm gonna pull out your rib cage and wear it as a hat, rip off your face and wear it as a mask, and then yank out your spine and use it to pick my teeth after KFC-Honey roasting you", stated Buffy. "I'd get a free meal _and_ I get a Halloween costume for this year." 'Bob's' eyes appeared to widen in shock at the imagery as he slowly backed up against the wall. Spike noticed and decided to have a laugh at Buffy's expense.

"She's. On. Her. Rag." Spike stage-whispered before giving 'Bob' an 'okay' symbol while grinning. 'Bob' nodded slowly with a look of fearful understanding on his beaked face. Buffy smacked Spike upside the head before rushing 'Bob'.

"Oh well, better get on with the spell." 'Bob' said before slitting his own neck with a knife and pouring his own blood into the potion. The potion bubbled in many different colours, before exploding all over everyone in the room.

"EWWWWW," cried Buffy as she tried to find something to clean herself off with, "I just had my hair done."

"There's some napkins in my bag," called Dawn, who was trying to move despite the heavy shackles on her. "The stuff he was making seems to have not worked."

As everyone looked, the potion that was covering them all disappeared with no traces left to prove it was even there.

"Well, that was a lame potion", said Faith. "It didn't do anything except look ugly."

"And feel painful," chided Dawn, "those cuts he gave me are really starting to sting."

Spike, Buffy, and Faith went to Dawn to get her down. But when they all touched Dawn, the potion that was supposed to have disappeared flashed into view again, covering them all in a bright light.

"Huh?" they all said before vanishing.

When they came too, they found themselves in a white room with one other figure that appeared to them as a mirror-like genderless person.

"Who are you?" Buffy asked. "And where in the frilly heck are we?"

"**We are the voice of the Purpose**" It's voice sounded different with each word, like it was several voices rolled into one. "**We have taken you to tell you of something of great importance**."

"Oh great. If it's not saving the world, it probably has to do with all the hearts I've broken." Faith muttered in response.

The 'Purpose' appeared not to notice, although Buffy knew that it had heard her. "**You are needed**."

"Aren't we always?" asked Faith and Buffy. Again, there was no response to her words, just an annoying persistence.

"**A great threat to all existence has been found in another world. You must go there to save both that world, so that others may be saved as well**. **The forces of the Void have overcome your world. In spite of your many victories against those whom would destroy your world, the truth is that there are still too many Demons and too few heroes to stand against them. Humankind is fighting a war it will not win."**

"I don't believe that." Stated Buffy flatly, while the other three stood behind her with defiant looks on their faces.

"**Too bad,"** replied the 'Purpose', **"the Demons have won their war against the old world, and no amount of fighting will change that. The Evil will penetrate the core of civilization soon, and when it does a fire of divine retribution will sweep across the world in a quick and merciless manner. All those caught in it, be they good or evil, will be consumed."**

"Then why just take us," asked Dawn worriedly, "why not everyone else who's good as well?"

"**You misunderstand,"** replied the 'Purpose', **"the reason you are going to this other world is not to save yourselves, but to save the rest of the Multiverse from this fate. There are other Champions of Order that you need to join with in their fight against Evil, so that they in turn can help you save the Multiverse."**

"Not to sound chicken," said Faith, "but why us? Why not send someone else to do this."

"**You two,**" the 'Purpose' said referring to Faith and Buffy, "**have been blessed with the strength of a Slayer twice. You**," looking at Spike, "**have been blessed with a soul. Only you three are strong enough to keep the Key safe in this other world. You will not be alone, as there will be others whom shall help you.**"

"What do you mean _twice_?" both Slayers asked, ignoring the bit about Spike, as they would worry about that later. "And didn't we stop the Key from working in our world? Glory failed at using the Key, shouldn't Dawn's power be obsolete now?"

"**You two are the last of the old order of Slayers. The spell changed it and it changed you. Both of you are stronger, faster, and more powerful. You will be to other Slayers as they are to regular mortals. I must go now but remember, all of Existence depends on you being successful here**." The 'Purpose' seemed to be talking faster, with shorter sentences while fading away.

"Hey, where are we supposed to –" Buffy was cut off as a flashing ball of electricity covered them all.

**Chapter 1: Crash Landing **

Hogwarts: Early July 1995 C.E.

Albus Dumbledore was quietly walking the grounds of Hogwarts. He had a lot to think about, after the fiasco of the Tri-Wizard Tournament and the return of Lord Voldemort, he indeed had a lot to think about. He wanted to just relax right now though, and one of the best ways he had found for clearing his head was by walking through the grounds of Hogwarts. He was twenty feet away from the Whomping Willow when he noticed a very large electrical disturbance. Sensing something unnatural from it, he drew his wand in case this was somehow one of Voldemort's tricks. An electric sphere opened up about eight feet off the ground and dropped five different figures onto the ground into a pile. They were all tangled up as they landed.

"Hey, watch it buddy", called out Buffy as she found Spike's hands in rather delicate places on her.

"Get off my leg!" yelled Faith at Dawn.

"You get off MY leg," answered Dawn while she glared at Faith.

"Hey, that better be a stake, jackass, or else you're in big trouble!" quipped Dawn as she extracted herself.

Before they could get back on their feet, the Whomping Willow (which had been hit by a stray lightening bolt) took a swing at them all and knocked them flying into Dumbledore, who was too shocked to move out of the way. Bolts of energy went everywhere, and the five people passed out cold while Dumbledore struggled to get off the ground.

Hours later, Buffy groaned as she felt a pounding in her head. Groggily, she opened one eye then the other and tried to sit up in her bed.

"Professor, she's awake!" she heard somebody call excitedly.

"Where am I?" she asked dazed as she tried to get up, but a sudden pain hit her in the head. "OWW, MY HEAD!" gasped Buffy as the events of before she hit her head came back to her.

"Dawn? Faith? Spike? Where are you?" she yelled, even though she was still not fully awake.

There was a surprised, "what the Hell?' and a very loud "oww, my back".

Buffy winced; her entire body felt different and a thudding pain went through her already aching head.

"Would you please lower your voice to a dull roar?" someone else mumbled before saying, "We're all right B, Dawn, Spike and some other guy are in the beds nearby us."

Buffy moaned as she finally sat up in an unfamiliar bed inside a strange room. She saw a tall, thin old man with silver hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt, sitting by her bed. He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak that swept the ground, and high-heeled, buckled boots. His blue eyes were light, bright, and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles, and his nose was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice

"Gandalf?" she asked uncomprehendingly.

"Are you sure she's fine?" Asked a disembodied from behind the old man. "Saying incoherent things is the first sign of brain damage, you know."

Buffy turned to the speaker and saw that it was a little old lady. "Go get thrown through a dimensional portal and then see how you feel." Snapped Buffy.

Dumbledore smiled at the group before turning to the nurse.

"May I have a word with these people alone please?" he asked her politely. When the nurse left, Dumbledore studied the group, who were all coming to slowly but surely.

"Curious, very curious," Dumbledore mumbled out loud, "this school is supposed to be impossible to Apparate onto, yet you five managed to do it."

Buffy rolled her eyes while rubbing her forehead and was about to comment when Dumbledore said, "Forgive me, but I am forgetting my manners in all the excitement. I am Albus Dumbledore, may I ask who you are?"

"Buffy Summers, sir." Buffy answered groggily.

"Dawn Summers, Buffy's sister." Dawn said with a look of surprise. Faith cracked her back before answering.

"Faith Lehane." Faith replied.

"Spike." Grunted the lone Vampire, who was looking at the others in awe while rubbing his head.

The fifth member of the group opened his mouth, but then closed it with a snap. He looked around himself, searching for something. As he did the others got a better look at him and noticed he was dressed in dirty blue jeans, and a black hooded jacket that belted at the waist. He had black cowboy shoes and black leather gloves on, and he had a rather large backpack next to his feet.

He located a wallet in his hood, which had been hiding his face. As he was pulling it out, the girls noticed that he had a clean-shaven head with short white hair and a fair, if somewhat nondescript, Albino face with wraparound sunglasses covering his eyes. When he smiled his lips were almost translucent, and his teeth were sharp and pointy, like that of a cannibal.

"According to this," he said, looking at his ID, "my name is Mordred Flaggson, and I'm from the 'Todash Void'. . . wherever that is," he said shaking his head while placing his wallet into his pants pocket.

When the others looked at him questioningly, he merely shrugged.

"I think I have some form of amnesia or something, cause I can't remember anything before waking up and getting pounced on by you guys and then being given the Tiger Woods golf ball treatment by an angry tree." He paused, looking around. "Where is here, anyways?"

"You are all in the hospital wing of Hogwarts school of Wizardry and Witchcraft, of which I am the Headmaster." Stated Dumbledore. Dawn's eyes went wide with shock while the others looked at him in puzzlement. "May I ask where you are all from?"

"We're from the US, at least most of us are." Buffy gestured to Spike. "He's from here in Merry Old England as well, but the three of us were over in Italy before we just landed here. I don't know where he came from." She said gesturing towards Mordred. She then noticed the wide-eyed, gaped mouth look that Spike was giving her.

"Why are you looking at me like I've got two heads, Spike?" she asked, agitated already.

"You might want to all look in the mirror, ladies." Exclaimed Spike. "I don't know about myself, but you femmes seem to have gotten the number one makeover that every woman wants!"

When Buffy looked into the mirror she was shocked at what she saw. She had aged back into her 15-year-old self; complete with the types of clothes she wore when she was that age (short leather skirt and a t-shirt. Faith and Dawn had also become their 15-year-old self's again, with Faith in leather pants and shirt and Dawn in a skirt and a sweater.) Mordred claimed not to remember how old he was, as it didn't say on his ID. Spike was the only one who remained as he was, and since he was a Vampire he was getting edgy due to the sun's upcoming arrival.

"You may go down to the cellars for the day, I know where some caves you could stay in later on are located." Dumbledore said as Spike left the room.

Dawn then noticed that her bag came through with her even though her original clothes didn't, and she remembered what was in it before the whole mess started. She then discreetly slid it behind her legs so that Dumbledore wouldn't ask what was in it, if he hadn't of already looked.

"Since we're sort of in a state of confusion, could you give us a few moments alone please?" asked Buffy, who had noticed Dawn's hiding of the bag.

"I'll be right outside when you are all ready to talk," answered Dumbledore, leaving the room. "Just know that you are not in any form of danger while you are in Hogwarts."

"Ok, lets gather around and talk about this." Buffy motioned as the four of them got into a circle together.

"Do I know you guys?" Mordred asked as the three girls shook their heads but Faith said, "We don't know you, but for some reason I feel close to you, like you're a missing cousin or something."

"Really? I sort of feel the same way about you guys." Mordred said while Dawn and Buffy nodded their heads. "Does anyone know on what my name is supposed to mean?"

The Slayers shook their heads, but Dawn lit up at the question.

"Mordred was the name of the illegitimate child of King Arthur and his half-sister. I read about it in 'Le Morte D'Arthur'." She smiled at the others as they looked on in shock.

"I guess what happened to Mordy here was what happened to me when I was made," continued Dawn, "except his spell didn't work as well as mine did. That's why we feel we all know him, and he knows us, but we don't know each other at all."

"Ok," said Buffy, "but why didn't that all-knowing Purpose guy tell us about you?" The others just shrugged their shoulders before continuing.

"Ok, with that out of the way now, what's in the bag?" asked Mordred, as he looked curiously at the bag behind Dawn's feet.

"I'll show you guys, but you have to swear that you don't tell anyone here about this." Dawn stated, her voice serious as she went over to the portraits and turned them over so they couldn't hear her. "We're inside the Harry Potter books."

The others looked at her with confusion, but then Buffy remembered.

"Oh yeah," Buffy exclaimed as she remembered, "those books you were raving about and the movies that you made me go rent that one time! I remember them now!" she said triumphantly.

"You mean we're inside a _book_?" Faith asked, while Mordred merely looked on in interest.

"Yeah, except I don't know on which of the seven books we're in. Only six have been written so far, but for all we know we could be anywhere from before or after it." Dawn went to a calendar on the wall. "We should be able to find out the timeline right here."

"Yep, it's June 30th, 1995," Dawn stated as the others looked on, "that makes it just after the fourth book, after the Tri-Wizard tournament. Here it is here."

Dawn bent over to take her books out of the bag.

"Books one through five, just like I thought!" piped Dawn, "we get to know what's going to happen next year before it happens."

"That's assuming everything doesn't change too much," cautioned Buffy, "just by being here is changing things already."

"We have to keep this all secret though," explained Dawn, "as who knows what might happen if the people here found out they were characters in a book."

"Yeah, it would be like finding out you're actually played by a TV star instead of an actual person," added Mordred. "I guess we'll have to explain all this to Spike when we see him later on?"

"Yeah, but until then we'll have to figure out what we're supposed to be doing here." Buffy said looking at Mordred. "Oh, before I forget, I'm getting a weird vibe off of you. I don't know if you're Demony or not, so I'm just saying this now: you go all fangy or evil on us, and I kill you. Nothing personal. And your teeth are kinda creepy."

Mordred said nothing, just pursed his lips together while the others looked on. Faith decided to cut through the tension.

"Well, at least you're not way old and weird looking like Mumblebore." She said with a smile before shaking her head. "What is it with Brits and their being all drama queeny? I mean, I thought Giles was made of tweed but is it contagious?"

"Err, Faith? If you're gonna insult the Brits, do it when you're not hideously outnumbered." Dawn advised.

"I'm not outnumbered that much!" said Faith haughtily, "I've got you, Mordy, and B, not to mention Spike!"

"So us five, against twenty teachers and about one thousand kids?" Dawn scoffed. "Who all know how to use wands? Yeah, we'll just have an easy stroll through here!"

"They're all Brits?" Buffy asked as she looked around the room anxiously.

"It's a British school, Buffy!" Dawn exclaimed.

"Oh my God," Faith said dramatically, "We've been invaded!"

Dawn almost pointed out everything that was incorrect with that sentence, but decided that it was better not to befuddle her sister so she settled for a very condescending "yes, Faith" instead before going to the door.

"You can come back in now." She said, opening the door and smiling brightly. "Perhaps we should go somewhere more private than this to talk?"

"We can use my office," gestured Dumbledore, "just follow me please."

They followed Dumbledore along the corridors and up the stairs into his office. Along the way there they stared at all the moving pictures that they saw on the walls.

"Would you care for some lemon drops?" Dumbledore asked, motioning to the bowl on his table near by his Phoenix after putting a Silencing spell on the portraits so they could not hear what was about to be spoken about. He himself was reaching up to grab a very odd-looking hat from off of a shelf while some of the four had grabbed some lemon drops while waiting for him to turn around. "I take it you are somewhat aware of what the Wizarding world is about?"

The group paused, but Dawn quickly nodded her head.

"We're not really Magical, I think," said Dawn tentatively, "but we do know some of what's going on in the Magical world."

"We'll see what the Hat has to say about your Magical abilities or lack thereof," Dumbledore paused before putting his hands together in consideration. "Do you know of the situation with Voldemort?"

"Voice of a Walrus?" guessed Faith.

"Voldemort?" Buffy asked. "Vol-de-mort, that's French for, like, 'fly from death', ain't it?"

"All I can guess is it's a bad riddle," volunteered Mordred.

Dawn decided to clarify it to the others.

"Big bad." She clarified. "He disappeared about fourteen years ago 'cause of a run in with a little baby named Harry Potter, who's a student here in Hogwarts."

"That is a rather simple sounding rundown," Dumbledore said while he squinted at her as if he were trying to figure something out, "but essentially correct. The Wizarding world has had a problem with him before, and now he's, alas, back again even though the Ministry would like to pretend otherwise, I'm sorry to say. Since you did all just appear here, it would only be fair to keep you in Hogwarts since you have no home of your own at the moment." Dumbledore added as he pushed some weird looking items out of the way to get at the hat.

"While you are here you may as well take some classes alongside the other students. You'll be a bit behind but you have time to catch up during the summer." Dumbledore smiled softly at the foursome when he finally retrieved the hat.

"This is the Sorting Hat; it can read into your deepest thoughts." He stated with a note of pride in his voice. "It will sort out your abilities and skills before Sorting you into the House that best suits you." He then placed it onto a chair.

"Who'll be first to try wearing it?" He asked with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Ladies first." Mordred offered, looking at the hat while licking his lips apprehensively with a long black tongue.

Faith looked pointingly at Buffy, while Dawn gave a 'you first' gesture, causing the blond Slayer to sigh.

"I'll go first." She offered and went to sit on the chair where the hat was put on her head.

'_Ah, a Slayer, and a powerful one at that!_' The hat whispered into her ear.

Buffy nearly jumped off the seat, as she couldn't believe that the Hat had figured out who she was so quickly.

_This hat can read my thoughts!_ Buffy thought. _How much the weird is that?_

'_What's so hard to believe about that?_' the Hat asked her, '_You must know that I am no ordinary hat._'

'_Where to sort you_?' It asked mostly to itself. '_You're righteous and unwavering. You've got a good soul, though you've died more than once and thought you lost it.' _

_'You've got bravery rooted deep within yourself, along with talents fitted for all Houses. You're strong, very strong indeed._' It mused. '_I think I'll place you in . . ._' "GRYFFINDOR!" The Hat finally called out.

The Hat was removed and Buffy could see Dawn and Faith smiling at her, while Mordred let out a breath of air. She wondered if they would also be put into Gryffindor with her.

The Hat then went to Dawn, where it fit largely over her head. Part of her hoped to be Sorted with Buffy, but another part said that she wasn't all that brave.

_'Ah, I see a green aura about you._' The Hat mused before exclaiming. '_The Key! So, that's where it's been all these millennia. That is great power that you are my dear. You could be very great indeed if given the proper training. The Key is an instrument of great and terrible power. But yet you are still human. I see a battle of identity here, not only with you being the Key, but also being the Slayer's sister. You are very powerful, and you want to prove yourself to be out from your sister's shadow. You'll do well almost anywhere, but I think the best place for you would be..._' "SLYTHERIN!"

Dawn jumped off the chair while Faith went to it. The Hat was barely on Faith's head before it began talking to her.

'_Another Slayer_?' The Hat inquired in an amused tone.

_Yeah, B died once._ Faith thought. _Well three times actually. _

'_I see_.' The Hat responded thoughtfully. '_You're powerful like she is. You've touched the darkness I see_.' It pointed out. '_Though it is no matter, you're still brave and true to yourself_.'

_Really?_ Faith wondered. She'd always thought she was a lost cause, a danger to society.

'_Really_.' The Hat told the brunette. '_I see that you're more direct and have a better killer instinct than the other Slayer.' _It informed her._ 'You could do well in Gryffindor, but I think I'll place you in . . ._' "SLYTHERIN!"

The Hat was removed and the two Slayers and one little sister looked at each other while Mordred pulled back his hood and placed the Hat on his head, revealing some headphones on his shoulders inside his hood.

The Hat was no sooner on his head than the air around it suddenly became electrified.

'Well, what have we here?' Gasped the Hat out loud as small bolts of electricity went around it while the others looked on in wonder. The Hat held on for a moment longer before shouting out the name "SLYTHERIN!" popping off Mordred's head and went spinning into the air, landing back on the counter it had rested on.

Dumbledore looked at it curiously before looking back.

"Now that you've been sorted we need to get you a couple of things." He informed them.

"Like what?" Asked Buffy.

"Your wands for starters," Replied Dumbledore, "your uniforms, of course, and a long, long list of supplies."

"Shouldn't we have done that before we got Sorted?" asked Faith, "and besides, we're not really Witches, the three of us girls at least." She added, looking at Mordred who had re-hooded himself.

"We should have," agreed Dumbledore, "but I wanted to make sure that you were all Magical before I did anything else. The Hat proved that you had some Magical ability in you. Also, I wanted to see what House a pair of Slayers would be put into naturally."

He then turned to Dawn and Mordred with a weird look on his face while the group all stood in shock. They were at a loss for words, as none of them could believe what Dumbledore had just told he knew what they were.

"I'm guessing from the expressions on your faces that I'm correct." Dumbledore said as he smiled serenely.

"How did you know?" Buffy asked when she finally located her voice as Faith nodded mutely.

"We _are_ in a Wizarding world," Dumbledore answered with a wave of his hand, "after all, I'd be a pretty poor Wizard if I could not find it out." He then turned to Buffy and Faith.

"Now I shall have to request that you not to tell _anybody_," he emphasised, "including the other Professors, that you and Faith are both Slayers."

"Why?" asked a puzzled Faith, "what's so wrong about letting these people know about us being Slayers?"

"The Slayer is no more than a fable to most Wizards, they do study them in school but very few people believe that the Slayer is more than a legend." Explained Dumbledore.

"Really?" Buffy asked, smiling wider. "So we're like, mythic?"

Faith saw Dawn roll her eyes as Dumbledore grinned at them before continuing.

"Also, it would do well that whatever uniquely powers available to you two," he motioned to Dawn and Mordred, "not be mentioned at all, as that would be too much power in one place, especially in these trying times."

Dumbledore noticed that both Dawn and Mordred were looking uncomfortably at their own feet as if in shame and worry.

"You are both not without your own abilities." Dumbledore stated after noticing their looks of concern. "You have skills that may in time equal or even surpass those of the Slayers, given enough training that is."

"Also, even though I don't expect any extra visitors like yourselves, it does pay to be cautious." Dumbledore said while looking out the window. "Come here and look at the forest, and tell me what you feel."

The group went over to the window, and looked at the forest. Buffy then turned to Faith, who gave her a knowing look, before they both turned to Dumbledore.

"Wow, my skin is starting to crawl just by looking at it." Said Faith.

"That only happens when we sense danger." Buffy continued.

"It used to happen all the time in Sunnydale but that was understandable cause Sunnydale was a Hellmouth but now . . ." Buffy shrugged, she didn't know how to complete her thoughts.

"Wow, would yah look at that," stated Mordred, "there's about a dozen or so monsters out there, can't you see them?"

The others looked but all shook their heads.

"Well, I guess I'll at least be able to spot them out for you if you would like me to," he offered.

Faith turned to Dumbledore, and decided to be blunt.

"You want us to go kick some Demonic ass?" asked Faith.

"You could put it that way," replied Dumbledore as he smiled ruefully, "of course I will pay you-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you just say 'pay us'?" said Buffy. "You don't have to do that Mumblemore. We're Slayers, Slaying's our j-"

"Wait a second B!" interrupted Faith with a mischievous grin, "who said we couldn't get paid for Slaying?"

"She's right, you and her are now students here," said Dumbledore, "and you shouldn't be doing this kind of work for free."

"Hello? Me Slayer." Replied Buffy. "I _should_ be doing this kind of work."

"Point taken." Replied Dumbledore. "But I _insist_ on paying you both, and Mordred too if he is able to help find the monsters you Slay. You can keep your money in a safe location here until you are able to get a suitable vault at Gringotts or any other bank you so choose to have."

"Well, ok then." Buffy said, as she knew he was just doing it because they needed the money, but it was a nice gesture nonetheless.

"What exactly should we be doing?" asked Faith.

"I'd like you to Patrol the Forest and occasionally the villages as well as Hogsmeade," answered Dumbledore.

"Consider it done." Said Buffy, but a thought had occurred to her. "But we don't have any weapons."

"They'll be made ready for you tomorrow," replied Dumbledore. "We have enough armoury around the Castle, and tomorrow you should be getting wands to help you in your Slaying once you learn how to use them properly. But I must now leave you to sleep, for you have a big day ahead of you tomorrow."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Check out all the Magic Junk!**

The next morning (after talking with Spike about what was going on, and finding him a place to stay at) they all went via Floo Powder to the Gringotts bank, where Mordred made the amazing discovery that he had a list of things to make his own wand with in his bag. Dumbledore let them wander so they could shop how they saw fit, so they headed off to Ollivander's wand shop since it seemed more practical to get the items that can be used as weapons before looking for school supplies and clothes.

"This place gives me the wiggins." Buffy commented as she, Dawn, Faith, and Mordred entered Ollivander's wand shop.

"It's just a wand…" Dawn began to say before she was interrupted when a voice said, "Ahhh, I have been waiting for you." Ollivander greeted from the back of the store. "Ah, Madams Summers', Miss Lehane, and Mr. Flaggson. Dumbledore told me you'd be here."

The Summers' sisters, Faith and Mordred turned to find Ollivander, an old man with wide pale eyes shining like moons through the gloom of the shop, coming down the ladder. Ollivander smiled slightly at the defensive stances that they were all taking.

"No need to feel threatened, I just give off a dark aura due to my family," he stated, "something about one of my ancestors being 'an evil lord' or something has probably tainted me for those who know what to look for."

"Hmm. I've got some work cut out for me." He mused before turning to the dark haired girl.

"You first," he pointed at Faith, "which is your wand hand?"

Faith gave him a look that said 'How am I supposed to know?' After telling Faith it meant her dominant arm, Faith stuck out her left arm. She watched with mild amusement as the measuring tape just jumbled around her wrist, and then as Mr. Ollivander went back around the counter, the tape measure continued to take other measurements on its own.

"Don't worry, the measurement process is quite harmless, I promise you," he told her, as the tape measure whirled and began to measure the length of the inside of her left leg.

"Now, every Ollivander wand has a powerful Magical substance for its core." He said while looking at the other three. "We use Unicorn horns, heartstrings of Dragons, and Phoenix tail feathers, most of them freely given. No two Ollivander wands are the same, just as no two Phoenixes, Unicorns or Dragons are the same. And you will never get such good results with another person's wand of course."

The tape measure was now measuring the distance between Faith's eyes, causing her to become cross-eyed as she tried to follow it.

"That will be all, thank you," Mr. Ollivander said calmly, and the tape measure gave one final whirl before falling to the ground at Faith's feet. It then went to Buffy and did her measurements while Mr. Ollivander walked over to Faith with a box.

"Lets try this one, 12 inches, mahogany and Griffin heartstring." He said handing it to the Slayer, who stood there holding it. "Well go on, wave it a bit."

Faith looked uncomfortable for a moment before she waved the wand only to have it snatched out of her hand.

"No, not that one." He muttered before handing her another one. "10 inches, oak with a Phoenix feather." Faith waved it and the boxes behind the desk shot off the shelf.

"Whoops." Faith muttered.

"Nine and a quarter inches, maple with a Basilisk fang." He said handing the wand to her and almost immediately Faith felt power flow through her.

"Perfect." He grinned triumphantly, before turning to Buffy. She in turn held up her right hand.

Several wands later, she grabbed onto a 10 inch, oak wand with a core made with the blood of an ensouled Vampire, the light shining bright blue and gold after a brief swish.

After her own measurements were done, Dawn held out her right arm. Mr. Ollivander placed one of the boxes he'd taken off the floor in front of Dawn and opened it. "Try this one Miss Summers. Ash and Unicorn hair. Ten inches. Swishy."

Dawn waved the wand around rather awkwardly. Nothing happened, so Mr. Ollivander snatched it out of her hand not a moment later and handed her another one.

"Cedar and Phoenix feather, Eleven and a half inches, quite bendy. Just –"

Dawn waved the new wand around - and still nothing happened. Mr. Ollivander again snatched it away almost at once.

"No, no here - maple and Dragon heartstring, six inches. Try -"

Dawn had barely given the wand a wave when Mr. Ollivander grabbed it out of her hand and gave her yet another one to try. She tried again and again and again, but nothing happened. Mr. Ollivander kept giving her wand after wand to try, and then taking them away again only a moment later. Soon, a very large pile of the rejected wands was sitting on the spindly chair nearby Ollivander's desk.

"Interesting," Mr. Ollivander was murmuring happily. Dawn was starting to look frustrated, but Mr. Ollivander looked to be very much enjoying himself. "We'll find it soon, not to worry!"

However, over five hours - and what was likely more than over three thousand wands - later, not one of the wands Dawn tried had done much of anything. One of apple wood and Hippogriff feather had flown right out of her hand when she'd given it a wave, but that was all.

"This. Isn't. Working," Dawn said in tired disappointment, placing the last wand she had just tried in the rejection pile herself. Mr. Ollivander was just staring at her with what looked to be a mix of ecstatic surprise and delight - with also a touch of anxiety as well.

"Well, maybe you're just being too picky or something," Buffy said. "I mean, you know how picky you can get when you're shopping for clothes. Maybe-"

"It's the wand that chooses the Witch or Wizard," Mr. Ollivander said while shaking his head, "not the other way around. And none of my wands have chosen your sister."

"Great," Dawn said sarcastically, "I just spent over half a day getting rejected by pointy wood." Then her face reddened, and she closed her eyes in embarrassment. "And you should all just ignore how dirty that sounded! Are there any others?"

"That was the last one," Mr. Ollivander noted with a nod at the pile of rejected wands, and the last wand Dawn had placed on top of the now overflowing pile. "She has just finished trying every wand I have in this shop - and _none_ of them chose her. I don't _have_ anymore for her to try." He didn't say it with despair - in truth, he looked completely elated by the fact.

Everyone else, however, looked at Mr. Ollivander in surprise.

"That was it?" Faith asked, not quite believing it. "Not _one_ of them worked?"

"Yes," replied Mr. Ollivander, "not one of these wands is a correct match for Miss Dawn Summers."

Dawn looked annoyed and disappointed all at once but before she could say anything Ollivander interrupted.

"There _is_ Magic in you," Mr. Ollivander said with a consoling shake of his head, "the thing is that none of these wands seem to be able to channel or control it properly. This just means that I shall have to make you a wand myself."

"But you made all of _these_," Dawn said sceptically as Buffy and Mordred were talking quietly together, "and none of _them_ worked." As Ollivander thought about it, Buffy nodded her agreement to what Mordred was saying as she walked over to Ollivander.

"True, but this wand I shall have to make particularly for _you_," Mr. Ollivander said with obvious delight, "I have had to do that before, it's just that for the most part I've always expected every type of wand, every possible combination. Rare . . . yes, very rare indeed," he muttered.

"Come back to me in one week," he proclaimed, "and we'll have a wand ready for you then." He was about to turn to Mordred, but Buffy stopped him.

"Perhaps a hair from a family member added into the mix might help?" she asked.

"It certainly is worth a try. Let's have it then." Buffy pulled one of the roots of her hair out and handed it to him, which he took with obvious glee. "Now, for your turn, Mr. Flaggson."

Mordred handed Mr. Ollivander his list, which caused Ollivander to go into complete shock.

"Well I _never_! I've never heard of a Wizard having to make his own wand from so many different materials!" exclaimed Mr. Ollivander. "How do you expect to finish it at all?"

"I guess I'll just have to trust to luck, and a fast broomstick." answered Mordred before turning to the others, "I think I know what shop I'm heading to next."

"Just curious," said Dawn suddenly, "but how was your own wand made and what is it made of?"

"My great-grandfather made my wand long before I was born," replied Ollivander, "and it's made from Hawthorn with a core of Wizard hair."

"Which Wizard?" Dawn asked.

"That's my own secret," replied Ollivander before shooing them all out of his shop.

After paying for the wands, they all went to the Quality Quidditch Supplies (the flying broom shop) where the girls watched Mordred purchase a Nimbus 2001 broom for himself (they didn't want to get any brooms yet as they didn't know how well they could fly). Dawn cheered up a little at watching Mordred try to fly, as he was clumsy at first, and when they reached Eeylops Owl Emporium, she picked out a pretty caramel Barn Owl, which she named Nibblet (after what Spike always called her). She called it Nib for short. Buffy had gotten a brown Screech Owl named Joyce, while Faith got herself a Black Cat named Pussegalor. Mordred found an egg in his bag and decided to let it grow before he bought any birds of his own, but he did purchase a lonely-looking sleeping baby King Cobra/Anaconda hybrid that he saw in the window of the Magical Menagerie.

"Hey, you guys like certain animals, I happen to like snakes." Explained Mordred, when they all gave him weird looks for getting the hybrid snake. "Besides, he looked like he needed a home, and no one else was going to buy him anyways. I think I'll name him Taltos."

The other places they hit were Slug & Jiggers Apothecary, where Mordred bought a lot of different items to use for both making his wand and for 'practice'. At the Cauldron shop, they each got a large self-stirring collapsible cauldron and at Flourish & Blotts they grabbed up school materials (Mordred also discreetly picked up an Invisible Book of Invisibility that he found). They then went to Madam Malkin's Robes For All Occasions, where they purchased their robes (each one was temperature-adjusting and tear-proof) and some regular clothes, since they only had what they had appeared in on. They went to Scribbulus Ever-changing Inks where they got their inks, quills and parchment (this confused them as they were looking for regular paper as well as pens). They then went to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour for a quick bite to eat.

"So, where to next?" asked Mordred, who had an ice cream moustache after stuffing himself full of ice cream.

"We should try Gambol & Japes," suggested Dawn, "it's a Wizarding Joke Shop."

"Sure, we still have plenty of money here," Faith said, "Rumblepoar gave us a lot of money."

"Still, we shouldn't waste it all in one day," cautioned Buffy, "as we don't know how much he has left to pay us with."

"Good point, but I think I have some ideas as how to get more cash as well, so whatever money you girls want from me, it's yours." Said Mordred with a smile. "Mi Casio es su Casio."

"But you don't _have_ any money." Said Dawn sceptically.

"Not yet." Replied Mordred with a grin as they entered the shop and noticed that it was stocked to the brim with various joke items as well as some small animals. Faith and Buffy had went off to one section where what appeared to be small balls labelled 'Dungdombs' were piled up while Dawn and Mordred wandered to the opposite section where the Blaze Boxes and Canary Creams were located.

"I wonder what we should purchase?" Wondered Mordred aloud. "Any ideas, Dawn?"

Before she could answer, they heard another voice saying, "_Some Extendable Ears wouldn't be a bad idea. Also, I'd like some of those Puffskeins and toads to eat, as I'm quite hungry.__"_

Dawn's eyes widened as Mordred pursed his lips before they looked at the snake Mordred was carrying in his cage.

"_You can talk?" "We're Parselmouths."_ Mordred and Dawn (respectfully) said. They then looked at one another, and then went and grabbed up some of the things the snake had mentioned.

"We have to tell Buffy and Faith about this," mentioned Dawn as she was grabbing up some Extendable Ears, "only two other people here are Parselmouths, and only one of them goes to Hogwarts with us."

"_Maybe they can help us?"_ suggested Mordred, pointing to the Weasley twins, who were helping the owner out and were looking at them intently. _"They look friendly enough."_

Fred and George both stared at them while they came up to them while the owner was carrying something back to his office.

"_Say, can you help us?"_ Asked Mordred, unaware that he was still speaking in Parseltongue. _"We're sort of new here, so what would you suggest we try to buy?"_

Dawn, however, caught on to what was happening when she saw the twins' eyes go wide with shock.

"I think you're still speaking in Parseltongue. They can't understand a word you're saying." She explained.

"Oh, sorry. What I meant to say is, we're all going to the same school, or that's what I'm assuming since we're all about the same age." Said Mordred. "I was wondering what items, as you seem to be regular customers of the store, you would suggest we purchase from here for there during the summer?"

Fred was the first to answer.

"Well, we do know some of the stuff that could be a fancy to you," he said, "but it just so happens that we ourselves are selling some of our own products that we're making."

"Of course, we have only just started up the business, and a lot of our shipments are still just coming in," George explained, "so although anything we have is for sale, not all of it's been tested completely yet."

"But if you'd like some free samples, we'd be more than happy to give them to you. However," said Fred with a sly smile, "in order to get some free samples, you'd have to be tested on first with them."

"Cool" said Mordred, ignoring the look of warning that Dawn was giving him. "What products are you testing today?"

"Oh, just some Canary Creams –" Began George.

"Some Fainting Fancies" continued Fred.

"Some Nosebleed Nougats"

"And other items we could show you." They chimed in together.

"Ok, cool." Said Mordred before Dawn elbowed him and whispered in his ear.

"_You do realize these items have a weird effect on the user,"_ she said, unconsciously slipping back into Parseltongue. _"Whatever names they have on the items is the type of effect they'll have on you. And don't tell them our House name, or else they might do something drastic. Not everyone likes Slytherin." _Explained Dawn as the twins' waited for Mordred to follow them.

Mordred took his time before answering. _"I had a feeling they'd be like that, but hey, you can't really live without taking a few chances."_ He said before heading off with the Weasley twins, whom were both grinning ear to ear, into the back room.

"He's gonna get himself killed before long." Dawn mused, before going back to browsing through the items on the shelf.

After about an hour later, they had all grabbed up something to buy and went to the counter.

"I got it guys." Mordred said happily. "These two gentlemen have decided to give us some of their own items for free, since most of the ones they tested on me didn't work the way they should have."

"Yet it still worked on George, so I guess it only works on some types of people." Fred, who was frowning slightly, pointed to his twin, whose nose was bleeding just a bit.

The twins eyed Mordred apprehensively as he paid the owner, and as the four of them left the twins went to a corner to talk animatedly.

"Well, that could be troublish." Mentioned Dawn, as they walked down the road. Faith and Buffy gave her some questioning looks before she whispered to them. "Mordred and I are both Parselmouths for some reason."

"Parcel mouths? You both have packages in your mouths?" asked Buffy.

"No, it means we can both speak to snakes." Dawn then went to Mordred, who was carrying Taltos around his neck and feeding it tiny fur ball-like things with his fingers. "Let's see if you guys can understand what it's saying."

"_Hi there, ladies, care for some of these delicious treats?"_ asked Taltos the snake. Faith and Buffy both looked at it with apprehension and worry.

"All we hear is a lot of hissing." Faith said. "I mean, I slept with a couple of guys who acted like snakes, and I've lived part of my life in the Bayou where the place is crawling with them, but I've never _talked_ to them before."

"Oh well, at least there's someone else who can speak Parseltongue at the school other than Harry Potter now. We can talk with him in secret now, without worrying about the other Houses listening in on us." Dawn said cheerfully before looking at Mordred, who had a confused look on his face. "Harry's the one with the scar on his face, he shouldn't be too hard to miss."

"Have you found everything you were looking for?" asked Dumbledore, who was waiting by Gringotts' front door when they arrived.

"I still need a Hand of Glory for my wand, and some other things as well." Answered Mordred, "I'll have to go into Knockturn Alley for a bit, but other than that, I'm done for today, at least."

"Well, it is getting a bit dark now, so you'll have to hurry." Said Buffy, who was looking at the sky.

"We could join you, have a look around ourselves," offered Faith. "Besides, this Knocking Alley sounds like it could be quite a nightlife area."

"Ok, lets go then." Said Mordred, who walked off with Buffy, Faith, and Dawn in tow while Dumbledore looked on in confusion.

"A Hand of Glory in a wand?" Dumbledore was heard to mumble to himself as they left him and went into Knockturn Alley, heading into the largest store Mordred could find on the right hand side.

"Borgin & Burkes, are they supposed to be the one's selling the Hand of Glory?" asked Buffy in a whisper to Dawn.

"Yes, it says in the second book that's what Malfoy sees in the store while Harry is hiding there." Dawn replied in a whisper. "Let's go in and look around."

They all went into the store and began looking at the various items while Mordred went to the front desk.

"Excuse me, is there a Hand of Glory you have for sale here?" Asked Mordred. "I heard that you had one for sale here from some reliable sources." He said while casting a sly look towards Dawn.

"Why yes there is," replied the shop owner, Mr. Borgin. "It's over there on the shelf. It'll cost you three thousand Galleons though."

Mordred grudgingly paid for the item, and then went to looking around for more items for his wand and various potions he wanted to try his hand at. While the others just looked around, he bought a pack of bloodstained Tarot cards ("with cards like these who can't read what the other player's playing?" asked Buffy disgustedly), a hangman's rope ("great conversational piece for dates" noted Dawn sarcastically), some poison candles ("how romantic!" chided Faith in a falsely dramatic fashion), some Deathwatch spiders, poisonous frogs and snails to feed Taltos with, and several masks and shrunken heads he liked the look of. After he paid for it all, they all left the rather dreary shop. They went back to Gringotts where Dumbledore was waiting, and then they floo-ed back to Hogwarts.

Meanwhile, back at the store, Fred and George were in the middle of a heated debate.

"You saw what those two did," said Fred, pacing back and forth. "They were speaking in Parseltongue, just like Harry can! We have to tell the others."

"What will we say to them?" answered George. "'Hey guys, there's four new students at Hogwarts from the US. Oh, by the way, two of them can speak to snakes, so Harry can have long conversations with them if he likes'? Also, we don't even know what Houses they'll be in."

Fred looked on as his brother continued. "What really worried me wasn't only the fact that they can speak Parseltongue, but the fact that that hooded one... "

"Flaggson, he said his name was Mordred Flaggson." Added George.

"Well, he not only spoke Parseltongue, but he ate at least one of each of our items and didn't show any side effects at all." Fred said before adding, "He even has some extra items for use that we gave him, which may have not been a good idea."

"Why not?" Asked George before suddenly realizing it himself. "He could be a Slytherin! And we just gave him a chance to be able to use those items himself on whomever he pleases."

"Oi, that's right. But the thing is though, who do we tell?" Asked Fred. "Our owls are all being checked, and if we try to get it to Hermione, Harry, and Ron it'll never get through with all the Order business."

"I know! We'll tell mum and dad, then tell Ron and Ginny, and let them send out the owls." George answered. "If they don't believe us, they can't say we didn't warn them."

"Yeah, but think of it." Cautioned Fred. "A pair of Parselmouths, one who's immune to our supplies, and they could both be in Slytherin. What are the chances of that happening?"

Later on that night in Hogwarts, after Dawn had went back to her dorm room; Mordred led Buffy, Faith and Spike to one of the areas that he thought would have Demons earlier that day. Faith was carrying an axe while Buffy had a Katana blade on her, and both of them had stakes and crosses. Spike was carrying a broadsword, while Mordred came with a stake and a Giant hook.

"There it is, see all the weire auras coming from the area right there?" asked Mordred, who was confused as to why only he saw where the Demons were while others did not. He led them to a cave.

"No, we don't see the 'auras', but it does feel awful wiggy around here." Commented Buffy.

"Ok, just so that you know it's here. I'll be just hanging back just in case you guys need me." Stated Mordred, who was edging underneath some shadows. Before the others could comment he appeared to vanish while two Turok-Han Vampires came out of the cave.

The Turok-Hans looked like walking corpses, pale as ghosts and covered in armour-like bone that was filthy with dirt and grime. Their eyes were black with blind rage, the skin of their cheeks swelling with wild teeth. Their bat-like ears twitched as they looked around before focusing on the Slayers. Some sort of ichors dribbled from the corners of their eyes and mouths as they gibbered and snarled at the Slayers and Spike. They knew these types of Vampires would be much stronger than regular Vampires, as they were the original Vampires before Humans came to be. Sunlight and fire can kill them, and they can be staked and beheaded, however their body has thick armour that makes this very difficult. Unfortunately for the Slayers, the Turok-Han (also known as an Ubervamp) is known for being completely immune to religious artefacts, making the crosses Buffy and Faith were carrying completely useless.

"Three of us on two of them, not so bad odds," quipped Buffy before more Ubervamps began to appear from the cave. "Ok, maybe this won't be so easy after all."

The Ubervamps rushed out of the cave like flowing sewage, their bestial roars echoing throughout the night. The Slayers and Spike just had time to react, using their weapons to slice into the monsters. Spike seemed to only be able to handle one Ubervamp at a time, but Faith and Buffy found that they were having an easier time with these monsters due to their extra strength and speed. Every hit they landed, it killed an Ubervamp. Buffy would kick one, and it would go flying back like it was made out of paper, smashing against the cave walls. Faith punched one Ubervamps' head off, turning it into dust. They still used their weapons, but it was apparent to them that all they had to do was land a blow to the Ubervamps' heads, and they would be dust. Still, more Ubervamps came as the hours went by. No matter how many were dusted, ten more would take its place. They had no idea how long they had been fighting or how many Vampires they had fought. No matter what they did, the Ubervamps just kept on coming.

Spike was already very exhausted, and Faith and Buffy were getting tired as well when Mordred decided to help out. He leapt from the trees, and grabbed one Ubervamp's mouth. Using his hook, he ripped out the Ubervamp's lower jaw, and placed it into his bag. Then he began throwing black dust that covered the Ubervamps faces before exploding into flames. He moved about in a blur, blitzing his way around the Ubervamps and frying them whenever he could, but he kept mainly out of the fighting as he was moving in a weird circle around the area, waving his arms in weird patterns while helping slay Ubervamps.

"What the hell are you doing?" Spike yelled, as Mordred finished off the design and ran up to him.

"Sorry about this." Mordred said before grabbing Spike and jumping with him out of the way.

Before the Slayers could react, a burst of bright light filled the area that Mordred had made a pattern through, incinerating all the Ubervamps and then going into the cave that they had come from. The lightshow lasted a full minute, and after it ended there was not a single Ubervamp left in the area. Mordred collapsed onto the ground as the Slayers walked up next to him.

"How did you do that?" asked Faith, looking at him curiously while rubbing her eyes.

"I have no idea, it just came to me." Mordred explained, huffing and puffing with exertion.

"Well, it sure makes for some useful Vampire Slayage," Buffy stated before quipping, "and it could be helpful in keeping a tan all year long."

"Why did you rip out one of their jaws?" Asked Faith, who was chuckling lightly, "I mean, I'm five-by-five with the wasting of Vamps, but why take their teeth? Trophy material or something?"

"Actually, I need this for wand ingredients," Replied Mordred before asking, "also, would it be possible to have a hair from both of you Slayers? And maybe a bit of blood as well?"

"EWWW!" Both Slayers recoiled, but Mordred was adamant.

"Hey, it's just a single hair and maybe a drop of blood from each of you." Mordred pointed out. "I bought most of the supplies we have, so the least you ladies can do is give a little back. Besides, I already have a hair and some blood from Dawn, so if she can give freely like that, then two Slayers should have no problem at all."

They debated it, and the Slayers and Spike ended up giving him a hair from each of their heads and syringe worth of blood from each of them. Mordred then went off into the forest 'to hunt Acromantulas for potions, pets, and food for my snake' he said, and the Slayers returned to Hogwarts to get some much needed sleep. Mordred came back early in the morning with some cages filled with live Acromantulas, some Pixies, and some more vials of blood from various creatures along with parts of their bodies.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Catch-as-Catch-Can Catch-Up Classes**

The Scooby's and Mordred began catch-up classes the next day, starting with a wide selection of subjects that ranged from First Year all the way to Fifth Year. Each of them was dressed in their new uniforms, which had nametags on them for better identification.

"Wow, this is _way_ so boarding school." Said Buffy, who had on a red and gold cloak and tie whereas Faith and Dawn had on green and silver cloaks and ties on. Mordred had double-hooded himself, wearing one hood from his robes over the one on his regular coat, which was also a green and silver colour.

"Yeah well, thank God we're hot chicks." Said Faith to Buffy and Dawn. "We make uniforms look good."

"Hey Mordy, a little sun won't kill yah," quipped Buffy, who was laughing at Mordred's way of putting on as many hoods as he could. "You look like a green Wraith with a security issue."

"Yah well, at least I don't look like a overdressed Hulkamaniac," responded Mordred before cupping his hand to his ear and shouting, "Red & Yellow strikes back! At least there's no Pink & Black option."

They went to their classes, which for the first week were History of Magic, Charms, and Potions on Mondays, Herbology, Transfiguration, and Care of Magical Creatures on Tuesdays, Runes, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Divination, and Astronomy on Wednesdays, Muggle Studies, Arithmancy and Flying lessons on Thursdays, and on Fridays they were to take the classes that they had the most trouble with all week as well as one 'special class' with Dumbledore for Dawn. In between classes were breaks and meals. Buffy and Faith were to work on the practical Magic mostly while Dawn and Mordred worked on the written work, since neither had a wand yet. They planned on sharing notes during the breaks and practicing the actual Magic after classes when Dawn got her wand.

The first Monday was rather stressful on the girls, as Buffy and Faith were both still tired and Dawn was agitated due to having no wand. Mordred, on the other hand, was rather hyper about everything.

"It's so unfair I have to wait a whole week before I get my wand," Dawn complained while watching Professor Binns (the ghost Professor) drone on about various historical facts about Magic. "What happens if he's not finished? What if I never get a wand?"

She looked at the others in despair, but Buffy and Faith were both already fast asleep and Mordred was copying everything Binns was saying (or trying to copy everything, as his quill kept on messing up since he wasn't used to it). Dawn went back to writing some of the stuff that sounded important, but since Binns never changed his tone throughout the lesson it was hard to differentiate between what was important and what was just filler.

On the break after class, Mordred shocked the others by running to the moving stair section, and jumping over the railing, where he fell several whole levels before catching another railing, hauling himself up over it with a bounce, and bounding away to the Main Hall. He was bouncing along the walls, ceiling and floor like a ping-pong ball before he got to one of the tables. The others found him sitting on a table and giggling like a loon.

"What in the Hell was that all about?" asked Dawn. "I mean, sure it's exciting being in a Magic school but do you have to jump around like a demented jackrabbit?"

"I think it's all the energy flowing through this place," explained Mordred, "everywhere I go in here just fills me with energy and it makes me want to just run and jump around everywhere. Besides" he added with a smile, "this is just a normal feeling for me to act like this. I don't know why I do this, I just do."

"Hey, I'm five-by-five with it if you are Mordy." Faith said, stretching her arms and back out. "Just don't do that anymore when the other students are here, and don't expect us to play along with any hair-brained schemes you make up."

"Don't worry," assured Mordred, "the only thing I see wigging people out would be me and Dawn talking in Parseltongue, and according to Dawn, if the Weasley Twins already know we're Parselmouths, then half the school probably knows by now."

"Yeah, it'll be a real hoot to be able to talk about stuff with you and not worry about anyone except Harry and maybe Dumbledore listening in on us." Stated Dawn. "So whenever they're around we'll just use hushed voices or not talk about anything dangerous at all."

"Anyways, it's time to get to class." Said Mordred. "I'll let you guys copy my notes after dinner, ok?"

With that, Mordred bounded off to Charms, jumping over tables and bouncing off of walls.

"He's gonna kill himself doing that." Commented Buffy as the three girls got up to get to class.

They arrived in class to find Mordred sitting in one of the seats, grinning broadly while Professor Flitwick, a short Goblin-Human crossbreed, was waiting on a stack of books.

"Now then," began the Professor, "since we're so short on students I'll have to pair the students with wands with the students without wands. Buffy, you sit with your sister, and Faith, you sit with Mordred. I hope the House rivalry hasn't started up yet between you lot."

"As you can see," he said after the four had sat in their arranged groups, "each pair has a feather. Your task is to make that feather float using your wands and the incantations. The incantation is _Wingardium Leviosa_, but without the proper pronunciation and wand movement, the feathers will not fly. Repeat after me, without using your wands first - win-GAR-dee-um lev-ee-OH-sa."

The others repeated the word, with only Dawn getting it right the first time, and Mordred coming in a close second.

"Alright now," continued Flitwick, "the two people who have wands can practice the swish and flick motion while the others watch. You have to be precise with it, it's a swish and flick." He demonstrated using his own wand several times while Buffy and Faith tried to follow his movements.

"Now, let's see it in action." Flitwick said. "Say the words and make the swish and flick motion while you are at it."

Buffy and Faith both began trying to make the feathers rise, but nothing happened after the first five or so attempts. Dawn then helped Buffy out with the pronunciation, while Faith looked on helplessly at Mordred.

"Maybe I can give it a try?" Mordred said, raising his hand above the feather. He concentrated a bit, and then it began to rise in the air. Smiling triumphantly, Mordred sent the feather over to the center of the room, making it go back and forth. Professor Flitwick looked over, and noticed, speaking at first as if on autopilot.

"Very good, Mister Flaggson, very g-" he broke off, finally noticing that Mordred had no wand of his own and was controlling the feather with his hand, and fell off the stack of books behind his lectern in surprise.

Mordred then used his other hand to lift Flitwick into the air and set the startled Professor back down on his books.

"Well I say, that is very good wandless Magic." Stated Flitwick. "Where did you learn to do such Magic?"

"Don't know; I just can." Answered Mordred a little smugly. "I'm still getting materials for my wand though, so when I get it I should be able to float more than feathers in the air."

He then reached out his hand and lifted up one of the chairs across the room, floating it into the air and twirling it about. He then lifted another one into the air and had the two perform a small dance, adding extra chairs until it was a rather large circle of chairs spinning first in one direction, then another. He then set them down while huffing and puffing at the effort to much applause by Buffy, Faith, Dawn and even Flitwick, who was practically jumping up and down with excitement.

After class, they all went back to the Main Hall (with Mordred now randomly Levitating things while bounding around the entire place). They ate lunch, and then went to the Potions class on the lowest level in one of the dungeons. It was colder here than up in the main floor areas, and would have been quite creepy enough without the pickled animals floating in glass jars all around the walls.

"Hey, Buffy." said Dawn before they entered the class, "Professor Snape may be a bit harsher on you than on me, Faith or Mordred because you're not part of his House. Just don't take any of his comments personally, and you'll do fine."

"Gee, thanks. Could yah of told me _before_ we got here so I could have skipped it instead?" replied Buffy in a falsely cheerful manner before opening up the door and finding a seat with the others.

Snape looked over the four with a grumpy look on his face, his eyes passing over them as if he could see right through them and hesitating on Mordred's hooded head before beginning. He cleared his throat before speaking, his voice a whisper that spoke louder than any shouting could ever have done in his dank, dark classroom.

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion making," he began. "I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses . . . I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death - if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."

He then looked over the group, spotting Buffy's Gryffindor symbol and nametag on her uniform.

"Tell me, Miss Summers, why are you sitting in a group of Slytherins when you are clearly supposed to be in Gryffindor?" he asked in an oily voice. "Go sit over there, where any Gryffindors who may show up can join you, and we'll begin our class."

Dejected, Buffy went over to the other side of the class, while Snape turned his back on the class of four. He then wrote the names of seven types of potions on the chalkboard using his wand, and turned back to the class.

"Here are some potions ranging from First year all the way to Seventh year in regards to skills. I will allow each of you to try to make one potion in order to judge where your skills are at, although I doubt your North American -," he used this term as if it were a mental disorder, "schools have taught you much in the way of practical potion making, let alone advanced potion making. Since none of your are getting points for your House yet, the best potion will earn the maker the right to keep the book that they use."

The four got up and went to the area where the various books were. Buffy and Faith grabbed up Second-Year books, while Dawn grabbed the first Fifth-Year book she could find. Mordred, however, rooted around the book pile without even looking, he was just guiding his hand through the stack knocking over some without even bothering to look at them. But before Snape could get annoyed with him he grabbed a Sixth-Year book called Advanced Potion-Making that seemed to have been covered in writing. He went to the area where the others were grabbing up their various potion ingredients and began getting his own ingredients. They went back to their cauldrons and began cutting and weighing materials before adding them to their cauldrons. After about five minutes Buffy's cauldron exploded, covering her with goop and some small burns. Faith managed to make a passable Swelling Solution, while Dawn was able to make a respectable Draught of Peace. Meanwhile, Mordred had made a Draught of Living Death in less than five minutes, catching Snapes' complete attention and even earning a rare smile from Snape.

"Clearly, one of the select few who have the innate talent for Potions making," stated Snape. "You may keep the book you used, but only until the end of this term. _You_ however," he said pointing at Buffy, "have caused a disaster worthy of Neville Longbottom. You won't be losing any points for your team, much is the pity, but you will however have to come up with the money to pay for the damage you have caused."

Buffy's face was red with shame and anger, but held her tongue. Snape dismissed the four of them early, and they all went to the Great Hall. Ignoring the feelings of sorrow and rage Buffy walked around the Great Hall, staring at the ceiling lined with floating candles and transparent ceiling.

"I really hate that ghoul," complained Buffy. "Is he really supposed to be like that to all the non-slither things or just the Gryffindors?"

"Mainly the Gryffindors," explained Dawn, "but I think he's like that to the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws as well. The books never really say. And it's pronounced _Slytherin_, not slither thing. You manage to get your own House name correct, you can do the same with the others."

The four ate their dinner in silence, until Mordred suddenly spoke up.

"Hey guys, I was just thinking," he gestured to the book, "maybe I can get some extra copies of spare paper or parchment and add all the info I found in this one to them, so we could all get good marks in Potions?" This got everyone's attention, and Mordred decided to look through it to find out some more information on it. As they all looked through the book, they found that there was barely a page on which there wasn't additional notes on it, concerning with not only potion-making but also various spells. They skimmed through it and found at the bottom of the back cover a scribbling saying _This Book is the Property of the Half-Blood Prince._

"I wonder who that could be?" Asked Mordred, looking at Dawn.

"Don't look at me, I haven't gotten the sixth or seventh books yet." Dawn said defensively. "We're lucky we have the fifth book as it is, or any of them at all."

"She's right, let's worry about doing our classes and monitoring the book to see what's coming up." Said Buffy, "we don't want any surprises happening to us if we can help it."

"There's already some changes," said Dawn, "mainly the Ubervamps you guys faced off against last night. And Dumbledore may try using mind reading on us, so before we go to bed each night we have to clear our minds of everything so Dumbledore doesn't figure out what we know."

"Here, I have something that might help." Offered Mordred as he grabbed up some circular wires from his robes. "I think this helps block out intruders if you wear it, although it is a good idea to meditate before sleeping each night. I myself prefer meditating instead of sleeping, as it keeps me from having nightmares." The others looked at him strangely. "Don't ask; you don't want to know what I see whenever I do sleep. Besides, all I need is one good hours worth of meditation, and I'm wide awake for the entire day."

"It's almost time to head back to our dorm rooms." Said Dawn. "How are you finding the Gryffindor suite?"

"It's nice and warm, not to mention high up." Answered Buffy. "But it's lonely. I guess when other students are here it'll be different." She then looked ate the others. "How's Slytherins' dorm room?"

"It's nice, even though it's under the lake and goes down instead of up like some of the others." Dawn said. "Faith and I at least have each other, while Mordred there can meditate all night long if he so chooses. At least," Dawn paused, "until the other students come. Then he'll have to meditate on whatever times he can."

"That's not mentioning us all sneaking out for Patrolling. I take it Rumblerore will have to issue us three night passes in order to keep any suspicion off of us." Faith said as she walked over to one of the suits of armour and liberated a mace and an axe from it.

"We could all just meet up in the library to do our homework, then head out once it gets dark." Buffy offered with a smile. "We might even be able to find a club to party at during our patrols."

"Anyways, I gotta hit the sack." Motioned Dawn, who was getting up to leave, "see you guys later. Happy hunting."

"Wish us monsters." Replied Buffy as Dawn walked off to the Slytherin dorm. Buffy and Mordred then armed themselves with weapons of their own and headed out with Faith into the Forbidden Forest.

They walked out and found Spike smoking nearby the school grounds, and then the four of them wandered into the forest. It took about three hours before they came upon a group of Ubervamps that were clustered around something. There weren't many Ubervamps, only twenty that they could see, not so many that the Scooby's couldn't handle them. It was what they were doing that made the two Slayers gasp in horror and disgust.

A pile of purely white horse-shaped forms were at the center of the Ubervamps' attention and was probably the only thing that kept the Slayers from being discovered by the undead creatures. A ridged horn poked out from each of the creature's foreheads, which identified them as Unicorns. The Vampires were feeding off Unicorns that were mostly still alive, as the poor animals were twitching in agony from the Ubervamps all sinking their fangs into various areas of their bodies all at once and ripping out flesh whenever another Ubervamp butted in to feed.

Faith put her fingers in her mouth and whistled to get the monsters' attention. Only two or three of them turned towards the distraction, as the others were too caught up in the rapture of drinking Unicorn blood to care. The first one to advance got its head shattered into pieces by the mace that Faith had swung at it, while Buffy used the axe to decapitate several others in a single swipe. Spike began picking the ones that had hung back with his bow and arrows, while Mordred threw several large flaming boulders at the Ubervamps that were trying to get their bearings.

Before the last Ubervamp was killed off, it waved its arms in the air and began chanting. Within a minute, a red mist formed and spewed forth thirty BloodGoyles, which are Gargoyles made of blood. They flew about the area, diving at the Slayers and protecting the Ubervamp that summoned them. This Ubervamp was different from the others, as it had a purple aura around it and was covered in fleas.

The Slayers and Spike attacked the BloodGoyles, causing them to burst every time a blow was struck. However, it seemed as though whatever they threw at them, the BloodGoyles just repaired themselves.

"Hey Mordy, a little help here?" Yelled Faith as her mace went through one of the BloodGoyle's heads, causing it to splatter all over her face.

"Ok, here goes nothing." Mordred snarled as he held out one hand.

Instantly, lightening shot from his fingers, hitting one BloodGoyle and chaining it to another. Each one was linked to another by the electricity he was shooting forth, and they were all drawn together into one big massive ball of blood in the air. Mordred's other hand went up, and ice shot from it, freezing the ball of blood into a solid form before levitating it towards Spike.

"Hey Spike." Mordred said while the ball hovered above the Vampire's head. "Here's a free Snow cone for yah, hold the cone."

Before Spike could reply, the Ubervamp howled, sending his Fleas after the four. Although the fleas bit into them, they were easily stomped into the ground before Buffy decapitated the Ubervamp with her axe.

"Ok, how did that Ubervamp use a spell?" Asked Faith. "I thought they were supposed to be dumber than the average Vamp?"

"That wasn't a Turok-Han." Mordred stated while panting. "It was a Grandfather: A Type One Vampire located in different worlds. You can tell one by the fleas it carries on it, those are called 'Little Doctors'."

"Whatever it was, it was nasty." Commented Buffy. "Now we have to fight Magic Vamps as well. I am _so_ not liking this."

"You two have wands as well, and Spike could start using Magic as well if he liked." Mordred said, causing Spike to look at him oddly. "All you have to do is feed off of a Mage, and you'll have a limited amount of Magic for awhile."

"Anyways, it's time for us to head back." Stated Buffy. "Three of us still have classes tomorrow, and I really can't bear the smug look Dawn gets when I have to borrow her notes."

"You guys go, I'll take care of the Unicorns, give them a proper sending off." Mordred said. "Spike can help if he wants to get the funeral pyre going, also I'd like to get some more potion ingredients."

The Slayers then went back to their dorms while Mordred grabbed up stuff from the Unicorns and other items, and Spike and he made a pyre for them which they lit before Spike went back to his cave with his new ball of blood and Mordred went back to the Castle.

On Tuesday, the four new students had Herbology with Professor Sprout, which turned out to be something wands weren't needed for, as it was all just lecture work on dangerous plants and how to deal with them. In between classes, they regrouped long enough to get a head's up of what Professor McGonagall was like as a teacher, then they went to class, Mordred again leading the way via bouncing around the walls.

As they entered, they saw a cat sitting on a desk. Mordred was looking at it funnily, as if he knew there was something not quite right with it. Dawn sat down, hiding a grin while waiting for Buffy and Faith to sit down.

Faith took one look at the cat and started cooing at it.

"Come here kitty, where's your Mommy at?" She said, while Dawn burst into giggles and Buffy looked around in confusion.

"Where's the teacher?" asked Buffy. "Isn't she supp-"

Before she could finish, the cat leapt off the desk and turned into McGonagall. This surprised both the Slayers, while Dawn and Mordred both clapped their hands in appreciation.

"Why, thank you for the assessment," said McGonagall, "perhaps you two could stop imitating fish by closing your mouths and sitting down, and we could begin our class?" She said looking at Faith and Buffy, who were still shocked at seeing her turn from cat into human so quickly. They sat down, and McGonagall looked them over and began her speech reserved for First Years.

"Transfiguration is some of the most complex and dangerous Magic you will learn at Hogwarts," she said. "I don't know what you were taught in the schools in your own countries, but anyone who tries messing around in my class will leave and not come back. You have been warned."

"Now, who here knows anything about how Transfiguration works?" she asked as Dawn raised her hand. "Miss Summers?" Dawn lowered her hand.

"Transfiguration is Magic which changes one object into another." Dawn said, remembering what she had read. "It is possible to change inanimate objects into animate ones and vice versa. Some Transfiguration spells alter a part of something, such as changing a part of a person's body from normal into something else."

"Very good, Miss Summers." McGonagall exclaimed. "We will be starting out with the basics today, and working our way up. For those of you without wands, you may watch, but I _do_ expect you to still take notes."

McGonagall went to the blackboard and drew up a diagram of how to change various items into animals and back again. The four students wrote down the diagram and what she was saying, and then when they were finished writing it all down they got the go ahead to start the actual practical work.

"Miss Summers and Miss Lehane, you may now try to do the wand work while your sister and Mister Flaggson watch." She said to Buffy and Faith, who had their wands out. She then turned to Dawn and Mordred. "You may practice the words and movements yourselves, but seeing as neither of you have wands I doubt you will change anything."

Buffy decided to start things off by trying to turn a match stick into a toothpick, but ended up burning the first three she tried on. The fourth one was done quite well however, giving Faith enough confidence to get hers in only two tries.

Mordred and Dawn were both practicing their words and movements using their hands instead of wands, when all of a sudden the item Mordred was practicing on changed.

"_Snufflifors_!" he said, and one of the smaller books on McGonagall's table changed into a mouse, which ran along the top of the table. Mordred then lifted it into the air using his Levitating skills, and floated it into his palm.

"May I keep this?" he asked a quite stunned McGonagall, "so I can have something to feed my snake?"

"Most certainly not!" She replied sharply, but then added with a stern, "I need the book itself intact, so if you may, can you please Untransfigure it back into a book and I'll get you some small stones to practice on."

They continued on through the class, turning beetles into buttons, mice into snuffle boxes, and Mordred even turned a rock into a sparrow, which flew about the class and out the window, and then he turned his quill into a ballpoint pen, something he could "actually use to write stuff down without breaking it", which he carried behind his ear. By the time they were leaving, McGonagall was looking at them all, but especially at Mordred, with approval that was tampered with her muttering about "lazy Yanks who wait until now to learn the basics".

After lunch, they all went outside for the Care of Magical Creatures class. Here, they found Professor Grubbly-Plank, who had a herd of Unicorns for the students to learn about. The girls were able to go up to and pet the creatures, but the moment Mordred tried to go near them the Unicorns all shied away, leaving him with his hand outstretched and a look of confusion on his face.

"Don't worry," Grubbly-Plank said, "Unicorns just aren't as fond of males as they are of females."

Dejected, Mordred went over to a grassy knoll to sit while the others all petted the Unicorns. After the class, they had dinner and the Slayers (along with Mordred) got ready for their nightly Patrolling.

During their patrol, they split up into pairs, with Faith going with Buffy and Mordred with Spike, and went out wandering. It took only a small amount of time for the Slayers to find some regular Vampires who were hunting.

"Ah, I thought I smelled the sent of fresh blood." Said one in a gruff voice. "It's not often we find humans wandering this deep in this Forest."

"With the likes of you around I'm not surprised." Said Buffy with a smile. She took a step closer, her stake behind her back.

"You know it's been such a long time since I've eaten." Said the second Vampire conversationally as he too took a step closer.

"You know that is really ironic, I was just thinking it's been such a long time since we Slayed regular Vampires." Said Faith with mock thoughtfulness. "So that kinda makes us even, don't cha think?"

The first Vampire leapt towards them with a snarl, but Buffy had been expecting that. She whipped out the stake that she had been hiding behind her back and before the Vampire knew what hit him he was dust.

"What the?" muttered the other Vampire as he involuntarily took a step backward.

"What?" asked Faith innocently, "never heard of the Slayer?" She gave him a swift kick to the chest, which sent him flying into a tree branch, which dusted him. Another one tried to punch Buffy but she caught his fist.

"Well it was good talking to you," Buffy said, "but as you know all good things come to an end. Buh-bye." With that, she staked him.

The fourth and final Vamp swore and ran off. Buffy used her wand to levitate a stick and sent it into his heart, dusting him.

"Wow, check out Witch Fu there," said Faith approvingly, "you gonna give Red a run for her money when we get back or what?"

"Right now I'd just settle for getting back." Replied Buffy. "Let's go find the Gruesome Twosome, see what trouble they've managed to get themselves into."

Grinning, they both went off to find Mordred and Spike. After a small amount of time, they found the two fighting some various monsters. There were walking cages with skeletons inside them, some Fyarl Demons armed with clubs, and some Bugbears who had axes. Spike was fighting them with his sword, while Mordred was busy zapping them with fire and lightening as well as using his various exploding potions, frying the Demons and Bugbears while causing the caged skeletons to shatter into pieces. After destroying the last walking cage, Mordred turned around to the pair of Slayers, who were clapping their hands in mock applause.

"So nice of you ladies to drop by." Mordred gasped in exhaustion, before waving off their clapping. "Please, you're making me blush."

"I guess you'll just stick around and collect stuff while we head home?" asked Buffy rhetorically. "You seem to always be bringing home the strangest of things. What do you need all that stuff for?"

"My wand, mostly, but also food for Taltos, and potion ingredients for other things as well." Answered Mordred. "You'd be surprised at what can be useful when you look for it."

The Slayers then left Mordred to scrounge around while they headed back to the Castle.

On Wednesday, during Ancient Runes Class the four gained plenty of practice interpreting runes, including translating some phrases written in runes into English. Plenty of practice meaning Faith and Buffy slept while Mordred and Dawn took notes. When questioned by their teacher Mordred and Dawn said they were helping the two unconscious girls catch up.

During Defence Against the Dark Arts, Dumbledore himself brought a Remus Lupin out of retirement to help the four students get caught up. When the four met him, it took them about a minute to figure out his condition (less so for Dawn, who had read the books).

"So, you're a Werewolf," stated Faith, as tactful as ever.

"I hope there's not any problems with me being one." Answered Lupin, who had a look of surprise on his face. "And how did you figure that out so fast?"

"Err, just a gut feeling we get occasionally," supplied Dawn helpfully, "and no, none of us have any problems being taught by a Werewolf."

"Hey, as long as you don't go scratchin' at me or humpin' my leg," supplied Faith, "we're five-by-five, ya' know."

Mordred smiled and said he could care less what he was taught by.

"After all, it can't be any worse than being taught by any of the chick teachers who are onna rag once a month," he said, getting a pair of nasty death-glares from Buffy and Faith, and a kick to the shins from Dawn for his comment. Laughing, Lupin continued.

"Excellent, now if you follow me I have something to show you all." He walked out the door and the four followed him. They went into another room where there was a wardrobe that was shaking violently in the corner of the room.

"Can anyone hazard a guess at what is in this wardrobe?" Asked Lupin. Dawn's hand shot up, and she answered.

"It's a Boggart." She sated triumphantly. "It becomes what we each fear the most."

"Correct," Lupin said, with a sly look on his face. "Perhaps you already know of the spell used to banish the Boggart?"

"Actually, I do." Replied Dawn, who was quick to add, "I read about them somewhere. The spell that is supposed to banish Boggarts is called the Boggart-Banishing Spell."

"Good, then I guess we can just see what each of you can do against it." Lupin said, looking at Dawn with admiration. "Yes, even the two people without wands can give it a shot, if you are up to it. First, let us all practice the proper pronunciation without wands. Repeat after me: ri-di-KYOO-lus" he said, stressing certain parts of the word.

"ri-di-KYOO-lus" the four of them repeated, catching on to the right phrase after a few tries . Then they were given a chance to step up to the wardrobe and see what happened. Faith was the first to try for it.

"Hello Faith," Mayor Wilkins said as he stepped out of the wardrobe, shocking Faith into stillness. "How have we been these past few years? I see you wound up in Slytherin. Still as dark as ever, no matter what you –"

"Riddikulus!" Faith shouted, pointing her wand at the Boggart. Immediately, Wilkins was covered in mud and dust. The four laughed and Buffy stepped up to it.

The Boggart swirled around and around, assuming many different shapes, from various Vampires to monsters she had faced, until it became a copy of her.

"I told you that you wouldn't be able to stop me." She said in a dead voice. "You didn't think that a group of little girls could stop me did you? I am the First Evil, the ultimate evil. The thing you fear most." She continued in a mocking manner.

"Your friends will leave you. You will fail them. They will all die because of –"

"Riddikulus!!!" Buffy yelled, causing the fake Buffy to be turned into a cheerleading version of herself who hopped and danced around, waving her pom-poms in the air. Laughter filled the air as Dawn took hold of Buffy's wand and stepped up to it. Buffy kept to Dawn's side as the Boggart changed into a red-haired, scantily dressed female.

"Hi yah Dawnie," the Hell-Goddess Glorificus chided. "Thought you got rid of me for good? Well, your wrong. You never actually thought you could kill a Hell God, could you?" She said, advancing on the Summers' sisters. "We're eternal, we just keep on coming back until-"

"RIDDIKULUS!" both Dawn and Buffy yelled, causing Glory to be put into a polka dot-covered Habit. They all laughed at her as Mordred stepped up to it after borrowing Faith's wand.

The Boggart, however, switched into a great blur and remained that way for about almost an hour before turning into a bright silvery blur. When Mordred hit it with a Boggart-Banishing spell it turned into a light bulb that burst and fell to the ground.

"Excellent, very well done!" Exclaimed Lupin, who was watching them all very intently throughout the class. "You've done quite well for people who've only just begun using Magic."

During lunch they had various items to eat while Dawn and Mordred caught the Slayers up on what they learned. Dawn even taught the Slayers the Rennervate spell to keep them awake after getting up in the morning. After lunch they had Divination class, which turned out to be taught by a very thin, even spindly-looking lady named Sybill Trelawney, who had huge glasses that enlarged her eyes, making her look rather like an insect.

"Welcome to Divination," said Professor Trelawney, who had glided towards them as though on wheels the moment they got into her class via the trapdoor. She had on a green sequined dress, making her look more than ever like a glittering, oversized Dragonfly. "My name is Professor Trelawney."

"You have chosen to study Divination, the most difficult of all Magical arts," she continued airily. "I must warn you at the outset that if you do not have the Sight, there is very little I will be able to teach you. Books can take you only so far in this field…" Professor Trelawney went on, "as many Witches and Wizards, talented though they are in the area of loud bangs and smells and sudden disappearings, are yet unable to penetrate the veiled mysteries of the future."

She then went over to her board and put up a diagram of a palm with various types of lines in it. "What you will be doing today is pairing up and attempting to read each others' palms and eyes. You will interpret the patterns you find using pages ten through twelve of _Unfogging the Future_. I shall move among you, helping and instructing."

Mordred teamed up with Dawn, and Buffy teamed up with Faith. Each took turns looking at the other's palms, and then hazarding a guess as to what it meant. None of them knew what they were doing, and Dawn and Mordred had the worst time of it.

"Umm, Miss Tree-lawn-e," said Dawn in a hesitant voice. "Mordred doesn't have any lines in his hands, and his eyes are really wigging me out!"

"That's impossible!" exclaimed Trelawney, who went over to look for herself and then gave a shout of dismay.

"You . . . you have no lines." She said, edging into hysteria. "Your aura is all darkness and chaos, and your eyes, your eyes are empty voids!"

Indeed, when Mordred had finally taken off his wraparound sunglasses, the others were able to look into where his eyes were supposed to be and saw that his eyes were nothing more than black orbs with random clouds of white floating around in a swirl in his head. Each one appeared to look like the event horizon of a black hole or a hurricane, and it took all of their effort for the others to look away from him so he could put his sunglasses back on.

"Hey, now you guys know why I have these things on." Mordred chided as he went back to looking at Dawn's hands.

Trelawney, somewhat shaken by the experience, finished off the class by looking at Buffy's and Faith's hands and predicting the death of one of them. This caused Faith and Dawn to stare directly at Buffy, who only shrugged.

"Again?" everyone cried, throwing their hands into the air and then smacking Buffy in the shoulders.

"You just don't like normal living, do yah B?" commented Faith.

"Hey, Chos-" Buffy began before Faith kicked her in the shin, causing her to mutter, "Sorry."

Later on that night, the Slayers and Mordred went out to meet Spike, who had found a nest of Ubervamps in a cave. They went over to the nest and looked in on it before forming a plan.

"I have an idea." Mordred said. "You three guard any entrances you can, while I fill the cave up with gas. When I give the signal, you guys block up the entrances with boulders and I'll blast the cave with fire. Sound simple enough for yah?"

"Good idea, we have to get this done before class." Said Faith, before shaking her head. "Wow, I'm actually trying to get something done so I can get to a class on time instead of just dropping out right away. That's a switch."

"You're developing a work ethic. Willow told me about those." Buffy said before adding. "There's unfortunately no cure for that except some dedicated class skipping, which would be a bad idea since detention would see us turned into frogs or something."

The four covered up some of the exits that led out of the cave, and began beheading some of the Ubervamps. Mordred used one of his potions as well as some containers of flammable gas he looted from a Muggle gas station to create and shoot a heavy greenish mist into the cave, and when the Slayers had covered all the other exits up with boulders, Mordred sent a fireball into the cave, making it explode and dusting all the Ubervamps. This left only a few of the monsters left, which were easily destroyed when the Slayers used burning swords to behead them.

When they were done, it was almost midnight, so the three students rushed up to the Astronomy tower, where they met Dawn who was with Professor Sinistra, who had them all look at various planets and stars using a star chart and various telescopes that they had. When they were done, the Scoobys used their telescopes to look over the land and have Mordred point out other areas of baddie interest for future reference before heading off to bed.

Thursday's first Class (Muggle Studies) turned out to be a joke to the four students, as they were able to do the final essay on why Muggles need electricity in the first ten minutes of the class. Arithmancy turned out to be a bit tougher, as Professor Vector was a stern teacher who dealt with not only mathematics, but also the Magical properties of each of the numbers. Dawn and Mordred had an ok time with it, but Faith and Buffy were a little lost on some of the concepts as they all dealt with complicated number charts.

Thursday's third Class (Flying Lessons) turned out to be something unexpected for everyone:

"Nope. Your feet are still on the ground, which you both would've notice if you opened your eyes." Madam Hooch said with a scowl.

Buffy and Faith both slowly opened their eyes.

"You're right," Buffy said disappointedly.

"What did you expect? Did you think that if you held the broom tight enough and wished it hard enough you'd Magically be up in the air?" Madam Hooch asked sarcastically.

"Oh stop teasing." Buffy said sliding off the broomstick while Faith remained straddled on hers.

"Well, we've been out here for ten minutes now and you two still haven't been able to work up the courage to fly." Madam Hooch said. "Your friends are doing quite well by themselves."

The two Slayers looked skywards, where Dawn and Mordred were all flying lightly in the air, floating along like they had done this all their lives.

"Are you trying to say we're cowards?" Faith said putting her hands on her hips and glaring while Madam Hooch looked on.

"Fine, be that way," Buffy said with a look to Faith, who nodded back. "We'll show you we've got, won't we?"

They both precariously got back on their brooms and before either of them could lose their nerve, they both kicked off the ground simultaneously like Madam Hooch had showed them and rose up a couple of feet off the air.

"There you go," Dawn said encouragingly from the air, "now just tilt the handle up a little bit to gain more ground."

Buffy did as she said and she flew up a couple more feet. To her absolute astonishment she didn't fall off. Faith quickly followed.

"You're doing great girls," Dawn called out with a cunning little smile. "Now lean into the brooms to go forward but just slightly and remember the more you lean into them the faster you go."

Buffy and Faith started to lean in slowly but in a moment of daring Faith decided to abandon all her fear and lean in all the way. Faith shot forward like a bullet and the last thing she heard was Madam Hooch calling her name. She was going so fast she nearly flew into the stands but at the last minute her Slayer senses kicked in and she turned quickly to the left. It took a couple of minutes for it to actually register but Buffy realized that Faith was actually flying away from her, so she decided to go chasing after her. She shot through the air after Faith, with Dawn and Mordred following closely behind them while Madam Hooch stood her ground and yelled in vain at them all to get back down. Several times, they nearly flew into the various obstacles around the arena only to pull out at the last second. After flying around the pitch twice in a group motion, they took a nosedive towards the ground and landed right in front of Madam Hooch, who had given up yelling at them and was now looking at them all sternly while trying to keep from smiling.

"Well, you four seem to have a natural talent at this," she said approvingly. "All you have to do is learn to follow orders better, and you'll be on your respective teams in no time."

After the class, Mordred surprised the three girls with Nimbus 2001 brooms he had 'borrowed' from the Quidditch pitch, which he said could be used for Quidditch practice and for Slaying from the skies.

"Now we can go farther and from higher up, so that we can attack anything we want," said Mordred, "all we need is some extra spells for fighting and we'll be all set."

That night, the three left Spike on the ground to search out some more baddies while they flew through the air. They came upon a swarm of Cyclops's in the mountains, which roared and threw boulders at them.

"Stupefy!" Yelled both Faith and Buffy, sending out bolts of red light that bounced off of the monsters.

"Why isn't this working?" Buffy asked Mordred, who was a bit more proficient at Magic than they were.

"Because they're like Giants; they have a higher immunity to some forms of Magic than other do." Replied Mordred. "Here, use the Conjunctivitis Curse that Dawn taught you during break."

"The wha?" Asked Faith, while Buffy only widened her eyes as she dodged a thrown boulder.

"For Chaos sake, does either of you two actually _learn_ any of the Magic we're taught in school?" Asked Mordred incredulously. "It's the spell that affects eyesight, since those guys down there have only one eye apiece then it should be easier to use on them."

The Slayers then each used the Conjunctivitis Curse on the Cyclops's, causing them to go stumbling around blindly. Mordred nailed them with rocks he levitated, and pretty soon the Cyclops's were attacking and killing one another. When there was only one left, Buffy flew over it and kicked it in the head until it fell off the edge of the cliff, killing it. Mordred then flew off to get more potion ingredients while the two Slayers went back to the Castle.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Insightful Interrogation & Tenacious Training**

On Friday, Dawn talked with all of them at breakfast.

"Ok, my guess is that Dumbledore will be asking me a lot of questions about us while you guys go over any classes you had a hard time with." She warned. "I'll have to guard my mind beforehand or else he'll catch on that we know more than we're letting on. Mordred, you better give me those wires you showed us earlier, as I'll definitely need them."

"How do you know that will work?" asked Buffy, who was looking at the wire suspiciously. "To me, it seems like wearing aluminium foil in order to keep the 'aliens from taking over our minds'."

"Well, it can't hurt," explained Mordred, "and if doesn't work then we're screwed either way, so what _choice_ do we have?"

"Also, I can veer him from what we don't want him knowing by asking him some questions." Said Dawn as she showed them a list. "Here's a list of questions I've read about that never get answered in the books. Wish me luck"

After that, the other three wished her luck as Dawn was called to the office.

She went on into Dumbledore's office, where she found him waiting for her with a shallow stone basin with odd runes and symbols carved around the edge, and a silvery light shining from its contents, which were a bright, whitish silver, that was cloud-like and moving ceaselessly.

"Ooh, intensive Pensive." She commented, causing Dumbledore to look at her even more curiously. "What, I read about it somewhere," she added sheepishly.

"_Pensieve_, actually. You seem to know a lot more of what's going on here than even your friends." Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye. "You have been able to predict what the classes are like and how the teacher's will act to your friends. I'm curious as to how you know so much."

"Well, I did say I read stuff," Dawn said carefully, measuring every word. "Hogwarts: A History does tell a lot of what's going on, although it doesn't say anything about the House elves you employ."

"Indeed." Was all Dumbledore could say. "What do you believe is the subject that the Pensieve is used in sometimes?" he asked with a benign smile and a glint in his eyes.

"Occlumency, which is the art of Magically defending the mind against Legilimency," answered Dawn cautiously. "It basically keeps a person from having their mind 'read' by those who can read minds."

She then looked away from Dumbledore's eyes, so that he could not gain access into her thoughts. Dumbledore guessed her motives, and quickly sought to reassure her of his good intentions.

"Relax," he said with his hands outstretched. "You should have no fear that I will enter into your mind without your permission, nor should your friends be worried about it either."

"I told you that I would be asking you questions and answering yours so that I could decipher how far along your education is." He said while smiling furtively. "I take it that you, along with your friends and sister, are as equally defended against mental attacks as you are against physical attacks, and that you only need to complete your Magical defences as well. I believe you have some questions for me?"

"Yes I do have some things I'd like to ask you." Said Dawn as she pulled out her list and sat down in a chair. "You don't mind if I write down your answers?"

"Not at all." Replied Dumbledore as he too sat down. "I am first and foremost a school teacher; helping people learn is what I do."

"Ok, question the first regards House Elves." Dawn said. "How long have House Elves been used by Wizards, who started it and why doesn't the book Hogwarts: A History mentions anything about them?" Dawn paused as she waited for an answer.

"Well, a very interesting question indeed!" Said Dumbledore, ruffling his beard with his hand. "It seems you already know more about the school than most people who've lived here for a long time." Dawn lowered her eyes as Dumbledore prepared to answer her.

"House Elves have been around for as long as Hogwarts has been open. Each House Founder brought their own personal Elves to work at the Castle, and their descendants have passed along with the school for generations." Dumbledore said as Dawn took down his answer. "Hogwarts: A History doesn't tell everything about the school, but the reason it doesn't say anything about House Elves is because almost every Pureblood family uses them so it's assumed everyone already knows about them."

"Ok, next question." Dawn said after she wrote what he said down. "What uses can Put-Outers be used for other than putting out lights?"

"Depending on the skill of the Wizard, many uses." Dumbledore replied with a glint in his eye. "Which one would you be referring to?"

"No one in particular." Dawn replied quickly before moving on. "Was Fawkes once Godric Gryffindor's Phoenix? Where was he in-between then and now?"

"Yes, he was." Answered Dumbledore. "I don't know all the places he was at before coming to me, but he has been around the world several times already."

Dawn waited a bit after writing down the answer before asking her next question.

"Are there any problems with Mordred and I being Parselmouths?" Dawn asked cautiously.

"None at all." Replied Dumbledore reassuringly. "We already have one other Parselmouth that I do believe you've heard of in this school, although you may be from different Houses I think you should try to form a friendship with him."

"Ok, sounds like a good idea." Said Dawn happily. "Now, regarding the Chamber of Secrets: Can students who want to use it for work reopen the Chamber of Secrets?"

"I'd advise against it." Answered Dumbledore evenly. "It does still hold some of the Basilisk's poisons in parts of it along with the Basilisk's corpse in the water, and many of your fellow students may be afraid to go into it. However, your Vampire friend can use it as his own home for now, and he can hold onto Mordred's pet snake for him in there too."

"Ok, fair enough." Dawn said. "Moving on: What ingredients are used for Wolfsbane and how does one get them?

"Interesting question, but the answer can be found in one of the potion books your fellow Housemate Mordred keeps borrowing from the library and copying from." Answered Dumbledore. "The ingredients are very expensive and some of them are rare, and the potion itself is hard to make. May I ask why do you want to make it?"

"It's the least we can do for Professor Lupin." Dawn answered. "After all, he's a nice enough person, why should he suffer every full moon?"

"Ok, just remember he can't pay you back right away, as there are some new laws being passed against hiring Werewolves." Dumbledore cautioned. "Any other questions?"

"Lots more." Answered Dawn. "First I'm going to ask about you personally."

"Ok, shoot." Replied Dumbledore with a smile. Dawn then proceeded to read them all off her list in a rapid-fire manner.

"What is your Ancestry? What type of wand do you use? What do you think is worse than death? How good were you at Quidditch? And when's your birthday?"

"Well, all random questions," replied Dumbledore. "And some of them very personal. I'm afraid I'll have to skip the first two as they are very personal, but I will tell you what I feel is worse than death." Dumbledore leaned in for Dawn to hear him whisper.

"To be locked away and forgotten as if you never existed."

Dawn nodded her head in understanding while Dumbledore leaned back on his chair.

"As for Quidditch, I was a bigger fan than I was a player. I liked to play, but I was never as good at it as some people." Dumbledore said. "My birthday is August the tenth, 1840."

"Ok, happy belated birthday from last year." Said Dawn.

"Thank you."

"Ok, what religions are Mages, if any?" Dawn asked as Dumbledore's eyes lit up.

"Well, there's a question you don't hear very often." Dumbledore exclaimed as he rubbed his chin. "We're sort of a mix and match type of people when it comes to religion. If the country we're in has certain religions, we take elements from each one and celebrate the various Holidays in it. For example, here in England we celebrate Halloween, Christmas, and Easter, as England is mostly Christian. In other countries other religious festivals are celebrated." Dumbledore paused before continuing.

"There are some Wizards, such as Voldemort, who would rather have everyone worship him instead of religious figures," Dumbledore said, "but people like him, be they Wizard or Muggle, have always tried to set themselves up as God, so the religions of us 'Mages' is no different than the ones of Muggles."

"Can Muggle technology be used with Magic to make them better?" Buffy asked.

"Only some Muggle devices can be used with Magic." Dumbledore answered. "Mostly, we make our own devices as electronics tend to short out around Magic."

"Makes sense. Willow used to cause all sorts of black outs with some of her spells." Dawn said before adding. "She's a Wiccan, sort of a religious Magic user in our world." Dumbledore nodded his head, motioning her to continue.

"Are Mages naturally tougher or luckier than Muggles?" Dawn asked. She then added an afterthought. "For example, how did a one-year old Harry Potter survive his House coming down around him with only one scar to show for it?"

"Well, we 'Mages' do seem to be able to take more abuse than Muggles do." Dumbledore said. "Also, because of our Magic we tend to be able to block or avoid most things that would hit a Muggle. It should be interesting to see how it affects your sister's and Faith's Slaying abilities."

"Yeah, they've been moving faster and hitting harder for the most part." Dawn offered before continuing. "How damaging are Memory spells?"

"That depends on who the caster is, how well they do it and what their intention is." Replied Dumbledore. "A good caster can do a memory charm that leaves a pleasant memory, a bad one can wreck a person's mind."

"Ok, cause our friend Willow once did a spell that wiped out everybody's memory, and it was a bad scene," Dawn said before quickly adding, "not that it wasn't reversed, though."

She then looked down to her notes and picked out a question that she was very keen on asking.

"Are there any spells to make a 'little ball of sunshine'?" Dawn asked hopefully. "I figure if all we'd have to do is say 'Presto' and make a small sun appear, it'd be easier to dust the Vamps as they seem to be multiplying faster than Demon rabbits."

"The spell you're looking for is '_Solaris Globo_'" Replied Dumbledore. "It'll make a ball of sunshine, but it drains the user very quickly, and can't be looked into directly as it does cause blinding affects. Also, it only lasts a few minutes. I'd suggest you get help from the other three practicing it before trying it out on your own."

"Ok, thanks for the tip." Dawn said, writing what he said down. "Next question: How many students can Hogwarts fit in it?"

"As many as there are necessary." Dumbledore replied. "The Castle changes to accommodate the people living in it."

"Cool." Dawn said before asking, "Why is it illegal to do Magic outside of Hogwarts for students? Shouldn't we be able to practice what we learn at home so we get good at it?"

"The reason why students can't practice during the summer Holidays is because there's no one to guide them in what they're doing." Dumbledore replied sternly. "It'd be like if you decided to go Slaying without Buffy's help; no proper experience plus no backup would equal a very hurt, if not dead, Dawn."

Dawn nodded her head, silently agreeing and remembering when she once went Patrolling with Buffy. She then looked at her notes.

"How tough are O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s?"

"They are pretty tough," replied Dumbledore, "but with the right amount of studying and practice you should be able to pass them with no problems."

"Are there any other Wizarding banks in England other than Gringotts?"

"No, Gringotts is the only one in England." Dumbledore said.

"Ok, concerning points; what was the highest scoring House and what was the score? Also, how did they do that?" Dawn asked.

"Ah, a most excellent question." Replied Dumbledore amusedly. "The highest score a House ever got was one million points, but this happened way back when the school was young, after the Founders had left. The reason why it doesn't get that high anymore is because the Professors have cut down on giving that many points; like I said earlier, anything more than sixty points per student in one go and it gets ridiculous."

"Ok, fair enough." Dawn replied. "What types of jobs can we get from a Hogwarts education?"

"Various forms of employment are available to graduates of Hogwarts." Replied Dumbledore evenly. "You should ask your Head of House, Professor Snape, what ones would fit you best if you are not looking for any one job in particular."

"Ok, now for some random questions." Dawn said. "How much does the Wizarding World affect the Muggle World?"

"The Wizarding World affects the Muggle World in a very large way." Replied Dumbledore. "Almost nothing the Muggles do is not affected by what we Wizards do, despite our smaller numbers. That's why we have rules and regulations set up so that Muggles can live their own lives without having to always be overshadowed, if not enslaved, by us Wizards."

"Where's the Mirror of Erised located now?" Dawn was quick to ask.

"In a very safe place." Dumbledore replied evasively. "How did you know about that?"

"I'm just asking the questions I've heard about." Dawn said before changing the subject. "How many Famous Wizard Cards are there and who are on them?"

"There's an unknown limit of cards, as some of them are hidden." Replied Dumbledore with a grin. "That's part of the fun in collecting them." Dawn continued.

"Shouldn't students sign forms so that when they're injured, they can't take the school to court?" She asked before adding, "for example, the case where Buckbeak had to be executed because he hurt Malfoy could have been avoided if Malfoy had signed a waiver."

"Most people are rather wary around legal forms, as too many people have been taken advantage of by them." Dumbledore said. "There was a legal form added after the Buckbeak incident, so things like that can't happen here anymore."

"Ok, how does one make a map of Hogwarts?" Dawn asked. "And how would it work?"

"I'd have to decline answering that question," replied Dumbledore, "but there are some students in this school who do have a map of their own. Perhaps if you befriend them they'll share it with you?"

"Ok, here are my questions regarding Tom Marvolo Riddle." Dawn said. "Here they go: What is his Boggart? Did World War Two have anything to do with Riddle's philosophy? What happened to his wand when he was destroyed the first time he tried to kill Harry Potter, and how did he get it back a decade later?" Dawn paused, and then asked. "Finally, how good was he at Quidditch?"

"Well, that's a lot of questions about the one Wizard most people would rather not talk about." Dumbledore said. "Let me see if I can answer all of them to the best of my abilities. First, my understanding is that Tom's Boggart would be himself, dead, for he fears his own death more than anything else. Second, the Second War affected everyone so it may have had an affect on Tom's view of life." Dumbledore shifted uncomfortably in his chair as he continued.

"I don't know where his wand went, although I have a feeling one of his loyal servants hid it for him when he was defeated, and that he got it back from Wormtail when he came back into form this past June," Dumbledore said before adding, "as for Quidditch, he was too busy learning spells and making contacts to be busy playing any sports."

"Ok, the next set of questions deals with your old foe, Grindelwald." Dawn said before continuing. "Was he Hitler's Reichenmage, or was he Hitler himself? How did you defeat him? Did Tom Riddle have anything to do with Nazism?"

"Grindelwald was in fact Hitler's 'Reichenmage' as you call him, although the relationship was more Hitler being Grindelwald's puppet than a court mage or advisor, as Grindelwald was the one who orchestrated both World Wars. I out-duelled him and caged him up in 1945, whereupon he caused all his major puppets to commit suicide along with himself." Dumbledore said, shaking his head in sadness. "A poor display, although fitting for one of his ilk. As for Riddle, he may have heard some Nazi propaganda that helped shape his view of the world."

"Ok." Dawn said, writing it all down. "How did the three Unforgivable Curses come about, who made them and when? Who decided they were Unforgivable?"

"The Unforgivable Curses have been around for long before recorded history. No one knows who made them or how." Dumbledore said shaking his head. "The people have always considered them Unforgivable, as they are such terrible Magic that nothing good can come of them."

"Makes sense." Dawn said, writing what she heard down before asking another question. "How does one make a clock of their own like yours or the Weasleys?"

"Dedication, hard work, and a love for tinkering with Muggle objects." Dumbledore stated evenly. Dawn was quick to ask her next question.

"How much gold did the Goblins lose over what Bagman did to them? Can anything be done about it?"

"He cost the Goblins, as well as many other people, several tens of thousands of Galleons." Dumbledore answered. "Unless you have about forty thousand Galleons on you, I doubt you'll be able to pay off his debts and that's just to the Goblins. Also, they'd very much like to get their hands on Bagman himself, although I shudder to think what they'll do to him."

"Why is being an unregistered Animagus illegal?" Asked Dawn. "How come Animagi can only become one type of animal instead of several?"

"Because if any Wizard became an Animagus without being registered, then there would be more people spying on one another than is healthy." Dumbledore explained. "As for being only one type of animal, it's because being several takes a lot more skill than most Wizards have."

"Makes sense. What about Apparation?" Dawn asked before clarifying. "Why do you need a license to Apparate? And where is someone between _here_ and _there_ during Apparition?"

"Apparation, like Muggle driving, is licenses so that only Wizards who are qualified for it can be allowed to attempt it." Dumbledore explained. "No one knows what is between here and there during Apparation." Dumbledore paused before adding.

"I seem to not be answering all your questions, for which I am sorry." Dumbledore said.

"Don't worry, it might make what I'm going to ask for seem reasonable, as I have a few requests." Dawn said. "I was wondering if it would be ok to use some Hogwarts materials in order to make a home for oneself, for example, a piece of something from each House and from various rooms to make a small home?"

"And also," Dawn said before Dumbledore responded, "Mordred asked me to get some tears from your Phoenix, Fawkes if that's ok with you?"

"You could take some materials from Hogwarts for making a home, just don't carry off entire sections of the Castle." Dumbledore said smiling. "As for Fawkes's tears, he'll have to ask him for them, as they are _his_ to give, not mine."

Dawn went up to Fawkes and showed him the egg Mordred had given to her in a pouch. After some quiet words, Fawkes bent his head and poured some tears into the pouch, covering the egg and filling a vial taped to the egg. After she was done, Dawn closed up the pouch and placed it back into the bag.

"Thank you for answering all my questions." Dawn said. "Are there any you'd like to ask me?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, there is just one." Dumbledore answered. "Why are you wearing a wire around your ears?"

"Mordred gave it to me" Dawn replied sheepishly, "so that you can't read my mind."

"Interesting." Dumbledore said. "I do believe that our time for now is up, and I'm taking up valuable time you could be using to study your subjects." Dumbledore stated cheerfully before adding. "I hear that Ollivander is getting really close to finding you a wand to use for your own."

"Really?" Dawn said, hope shining brightly on her face. "Thank you, it's been almost like waiting for Christmas to come."

"Don't thank me, thank Ollivander when you see him." Dumbledore said as he was ushering Dawn out of his office. "I'm sure you'll make a most fascinating Witch when you get your wand."

"If it's possible, you will let us know any ways to get back to our world?" She asked cautiously.

"I still don't know how you got here," replied Dumbledore, "but I will most assuredly help you back to where you came from if I can."

Dawn met the three other students in the Main Hall, and discussed what they had all learned.

"I guess if I need that Basilisk Venom, I'll have to get it now before the other students come." Mordred said before bounding off. Dawn yelled out after him.

"Meet up with us on the seventh floor, by the tapestry that has Barnabas the Barmy trying to teach Trolls to dance the ballet!" The Slayers looked at her in confusion as she got up. "It's where the Room of Requirement is located. It might have some of the stuff we might need."

The three girls went up to the Seventh Floor and waited for Mordred, who came up ten minutes later.

"I got blood, venom, skin and a fang out of the Basilisk." He said as he came to a stop before the wall. "Now what do we do?"

"To make the Room appear," Dawn explained to the others, "a person has to walk past the section of blank wall three times concentrating hard on what is needed."

She then demonstrated to them by walking back and forth in front of the wall. After the third time, a door appeared and they went inside. It was filled with various books on Magic, and it also had a large assortment of weapons, a punching bag, some mats, and potions along with some caged animals. Mordred quickly went to filling his bag up with various items while Dawn showed the Slayers around.

"This is where the DA will be meeting up when it's made." Dawn said before adding, "Dumbledore's Army, not District Attorney. They'll be a group of students who will be learning how to do various spells, as the DADA teacher will be doing only theory, not actual useful teaching."

"Wow, this cuts down on a lot of time I expected to be chasing after far-away materials." Mordred said. "I could probably find what I need for my wand right here."

"What are you putting into your wand?" Asked Buffy. "It sounds like a lot of stuff you need for a single wand."

"Here's my list of things I need." Mordred showed them his list, which had about almost a hundred items labelled on it. The girls all looked at it in astonishment.

"Some of this stuff I already have from the bag, as it appears there." Mordred said. "However, I have to find an item here before I can take an item out of the bag, so it's all even. Also, I have my own cauldron for this, so it's going to be a very special wand."

"Druid's Arm, Elf Blood, Can Tah Statues, Kneazle Fur and Blood," Faith was reading off his list. "Wow, a lot of these things are blood-related. You making a _wand_ or a _person_?"

"Very funny. From what I gather, it'll be ready before school starts, as long as I find all the items I need." Mordred said while putting back his list. "I guess I should get back to looking around and packing things up. I'm going to be here awhile."

"Right. You get your stuff, we'll grab some weapons for ourselves." Buffy said while picking up a hammer that resembled the one Olaf had. "I always liked being able to bring in heavy artillery when it's needed."

They all packed away weapons, books and potions into their bags, and then left to go back to their dorms after making up keys to get in and out of the Room of Requirement easier. They even got a Monster Book of Monsters, to help them identify the Demons that they might be fighting. That night the Slayers and Mordred practised the Sunshine Spell several times before getting it right with some help from Dawn. They found that if either Buffy or Faith cast it, and Mordred linked the Slayers together, they had enough power to hold onto it for an extended amount of time. They took off on their brooms after Dawn went to bed, and went searching for Spike, whom they found outside his cave. The three flyers explained their situations to him regarding the spell and the flying, and he directed them to a huge cavern that went for several miles. Using Mordred's ability to see auras, they followed it until they came to a pit filled almost to the brim with several thousand Ubervamps. They each got ready before casting the spell, as it was a very draining spell and they had to be ready in case they needed to flee.

"Ok, we all set for this?" Buffy asked, after slipping on a pair of shades Mordred had given her. "Faith, you ready?"

Faith, who also had shades on, nodded her head, holding out her wand at the horde of monsters. "Mordy, you ready?" she asked.

Mordred placed his hands on their shoulders and grinned, tapping his feet.

"Ok, here goes nothing." Faith said before casting the spell. "_Solaris Globo_!" She yelled.

Immediately, a ball of sunlight shot out of her wand, and went into the mass of Ubervamps. Faith directed it with her wand with help from Buffy, chasing Ubervamps down and dusting them by the thousands. They had almost finished off the last of the Ubervamps when the place began to cave in on itself.

"Let's get outta here!" Faith said, dropping her spell as the three of them hopped onto their brooms and raced out of the cavern.

They flew into the night, and then went in search of some more monsters, as the night was still young. When midnight came rolling around, they had wiped out several gangs of Vahrall Demons, Hell Hounds, Minotaurs, Minoboars, and some Lei-Ach Demons. They shot them all from the sky with their wands and with crossbows, picking them off as if they were all moving ducks at a Carnival. They were almost done for the night when a twenty-foot long Lindwurm came bursting out of a patch of ground, spewing fire and crushing trees.

"Would you get a look at that!" Faith exclaimed. "That's one big mother-thumper!"

The three flew above it, nailing it with spells that only hurt it instead of killing it. The two Slayers and Mordred used lightening and blasted its head area when it reared up to shoot flames at them. The resulting explosion splattered its head into the air, covering the three with icky goop. Buffy wiped some of the stuff from her mouth.

"Can I just say, 'Gyughhh!!!'?" as she spat some of it from her mouth. Faith replied in kind.

"I see your 'Gyughhh' and raise you a 'Nyaghhh!!!'" as she wiped off her clothes.

"Marilyn's Rainbow! Use your wands and say Scourgify!" Said Mordred, who was also covered in guck. "And remember to use it on me too."

They cleaned themselves off and flew back to the Castle, where Mordred went back to the room of Requirement while the Slayers went to their separate dorms.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Wands, Weekend Work, and Wearying Wizardly Wisdom**

On Saturday, Dawn got a letter early in the morning asking her to go to Ollivanders, so the four of them went off to his shop before even finishing breakfast. When they got there they found Mr. Ollivander himself, waiting behind the counter with a long wand box sitting on the counter before him. He did not turn his head as they entered the shop, the bell above the door announcing their presence. His gaze fixed out the window, apparently lost in thought. The four of them glanced at each other a moment, and then Dawn cleared her throat.

"Um, excuse me, Mr. Ollivander?" she called out.

A moment passed before the old man turned away from the window and finally fixed his strange slivery eyes on them, but he still did not speak, however.

"Um, you sent me a note," Dawn said as she moved forward slightly up to the counter, "saying my wand was ready?"

Mr. Ollivander blinked - almost, it seemed to Buffy, as if he were clearing his thoughts - before giving a nod.

"Yes, yes Miss Summers, its right here," he said, laying his hands on the wand box on the counter. He opened the box slowly, watching Dawn with unhidden fascination. "Ten and one quarter inches exactly. Ivy wood," he said solemnly. "Ivy is a rare wood to use for a wand . . . very mysterious. And the plant itself can be stronger than even an oak."

Dawn's eyes seemed to be glued on the wand Mr. Ollivander presented before her. She reached inside the wand box and lifted it out. It was a deep, greenish brown colour, and elegantly carved. Dawn ran her free hand over its length, and then looked over at Buffy, a huge smile on her face.

"It feels warm," she said softly, her voice filled with awe. She gave it a wave, and green and silver sparks shot from it. She turned smiling to the others. "I finally have a wand of my own!"

Mr. Ollivander, however, was not smiling. He was just staring at Dawn with a concerned and utterly confounded expression.

"It's not often that a person's family member can provide a sample for a wand, unless they're not fully human themselves." He mused. Buffy was quick to the defence.

"That's sort of a private affair, as we do come from a long line of obscure American Wizards." She managed, only just coming up with the story and wishing she had more time for a better one.

"Indeed." Was all Ollivander could say. The wand was paid for and the four left the shop to ponder their situation.

"Eventually some people will find out, and then everyone will find out." Mordred said as they walked. "This isn't the Hellmouth, Mages are naturally curiuous concerning their own kind, especially if they're more than human."

"Mordy's right B." Faith chimed in. "We've been Slaying for quite awhile now, and sooner or later people are going to see us in action, especially with what Dawn's been saying about this 'Golden Trio' of Harry Potter and friends."

"I know." Buffy said, shaking her head. "But until that happens we still have things to do. That huge maggot-thing left a hole in the ground that was full of large bugs, so tonight we'll have to clean that up."

"That's tonight, right now we still have the weekend to enjoy." Dawn said empathetically. "We need to hit the Honeydukes Sweetshop, you guys are going to love it there."

With that, they followed Dawn back to Hogwarts, where she led them via a secret passageway to the Honeydukes Sweetshop via a cellar door. When they went up the wooden steps and into the shop, Buffy's and Faith's eyes went wide open. They'd never seen so many colourful sweets under one roof. There were shelves upon shelves of the most succulent sweets possible. Creamy chunks of nougat, honey-coloured toffees; hundreds of different kinds of chocolate in neat rows; shimmering pink squares of coconut ice, there was a large barrel of Every Flavour Beans which Dawn tricked Buffy into trying. (She had gotten vomit and lice, so she was in no hurry to try any others.) There was also a whole wall, which was dedicated to something called 'Special Effects Sweets'.

"Wow," was all that the Slayers could say. "I can already feel my teeth rotting and I haven't even eaten anything yet." Faith quipped.

Dawn insisted that they try almost all of the sweets in the shop (Mordred took no persuading, as he was loading up a bag before they were even all out of the trapdoor) even some of the most absurd things; tiny black Pepper Imps, which made them breathe fire and some Ice Mice, which made their teeth chatter and squeak for a whole five minutes. By the time they paid for the stuff and went back down the trapdoor they each were carrying several bags filled with sweets.

"We should do this every weekend." Dawn said, as she was biting a liquorice wand. She then pulled out a blood-flavoured lollipop. "Spike will thank us for these for sure."

"And who'll pay for it all?" asked Buffy while raising an eyebrow. "We only get paid once a month from Dumbledore, remember?"

"Relax," chided Mordred as he breathed between chomps of candy, "we have enough cash for now as it is. Also, I have a plan on how to capture Ludo Bagman, get whatever gold he has, and then drop him off for a reward to the authorities. We'll talk about it later."

That evening, the Slayers and Mordred flew off and gave Spike some of the blood-flavoured lollipops to add to the huge one he still had. They then went to the hole that the Lindwurm had created, and looked into it. Inside, there were millions of giant insect like monsters of all different types, including Demonic Cherubs (human-like babies w/ fly wings and claws), DemoMaggots (two-headed monster with spindly limbs and long tounges), giant Scorpions and Spiders that had Demon upper torsos, giant beetle/crab mutations called Garthim, Mantis people, and some Demons that were made up of bugs.

"Where's the Orkin Man when you need him?" Faith quipped before turning to Mordred. "You got a Giant Can O' Raid on yah, by any chance?"

"No, but I do have something that might help." Mordred said before pulling out a spell book. "Sonics spell: we each put a bubble head charm with a noise dampener charm on each other before using it, then one of you wave your wands in the air like so-" Mordred made a circling motion around his head with his hand, "and say _Acersonus._ This will drive them all crazy, making it easier for us to pick them off."

They put the needed protection spells on each other, and then Buffy circled her wand over her head and pointed it into the mist of the monsters.

"Acersonus!" She yelled, sending out a blast of noise from her wand. Instantly the monsters began clutching at their heads with their limbs, attacking one another and crashing into walls. The flying ones bounced off a shield spell Faith had set up over the pit and fell to the ground where they were attacked, and Mordred sent lightening bolts into their midst's, chaining them together and frying them. It took an hour, but when the last bug exploded there were none left to bother anyone.

"Man, that was some trip!" Faith said as she and Buffy were heading back top the Castle while Mordred collected some samples from the dead insectoids. "Almost feels kinda cheap doing all this Magic instead of just plain old ass-kicking." She then paused and added another, "Almost," with a grin.

On Sunday Mordred copied out all the extra spells and potion ingredients he had onto an ever-rolling parchment (one that did not run out) and made copies of it for the others so that they could read it and learn from it on their own time as well as add to it if need be (spells and potions that didn't work were erased from one had to be crossed out on the others). He also went over some ideas with Dawn regarding capturing Bagman, as they didn't know where he'd gone to as the books didn't say anything about his whereabouts after book four.

That night of Patrolling was almost uneventful, as for some reason there wasn't as many Ubervamps to find, and many caves they flew by seemed to only have regular animals (although they did pass by Fluffy, the Giant three-headed dog who chased after them barking happily).

The next week was almost the same as the first, except that the Slayers dropped both Runes and Arithmancy while Mordred and Dawn kept both, and Muggle studies was ended by all four of them since they passed the exam already. They would have Friday off of actual classes, as they left that open for studying and training.

The Monday History class put the Slayers to sleep again, while Mordred and Dawn took notes ("you're gonna have to find someone to take notes for you when school actually starts." Dawn scolded Buffy after class). In Charms they learned Cheering Charms, something Buffy excelled at since she had plenty of experience from her cheerleading days. In Potions they all had to study and make antidotes for poisons that Snape had threatened to spike into their drinks. Buffy caused yet another potion to explode, causing burns all over her body that had to be treated by the school nurse during dinner. When Buffy caught up with Faith, Spike and Mordred during Patrol she only got to watch as Spike beheaded the last Ubervamp, leaving her all huffy and mad at Snape.

On Tuesday they worked with Mandrakes and Puffapods in Herbology while wearing protective clothing (Faith managed to kill at least three Mandrakes when she strangled them just to shut them up before Professor Sprout stopped her). During Transfiguration they all learned about Animagi and how dangerous that type of Magic could be when done wrong. The final class of the day, Care of Magical Creatures, they were shown Porlocks and Kneazles by Professor Grubbly-Plank, who also had them open up their Monster books of Monsters for the first time to demonstrate how it was done (the Slayers had punched out their books, while Dawn had already known how to open hers properly and had shown Mordred).

On Wednesday Dawn and Mordred did Runes class while Buffy and Faith slept in, but when all four got to their DADA class they found they had a new teacher, as Professor Lupin was not there. They had all sat down and were wondering what to expect when the new Professor came into the room with a dull clunk on his every other step. Every inch of skin seemed to be scarred on his face, and even without the scars he looked as if someone who had only an idea of what human faces look like had engraved it out of battered stone. A large chunk of his nose was missing, and his mouth looked like a diagonally placed wound. But it was the man's eyes that caught the students' attentions. One of them was small, dark, and beady, while the other was large, round as a coin, and a vivid, electric blue false eye that was held into his head via an eye patch. The false blue eye was moving non-stop, and was rolling up, down, and from side to side, quite independently of the normal eye.

"Mad Eye Moody." Dawn whispered in a sigh, remembering him from the stories. His eye darted around the classroom as he went to the chalkboard and wrote his name down before turning to address the class.

"Alastor Moody; Ex-Auror, Ministry of Magic malcontent, and your Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher for this week. I'm here because Dumbledore asked me because he believes, as do I, that you all need to be prepared against what you will be facing. Any questions?" he asked in a gruff voice. Buffy held up her hand.

"What will we be learning?" She asked. He wrote down the words 'Unforgivable Curses' and then turned back to the class.

"I will be asking you what you already know about these-," he pointed to the board, "in theory only, as Professor Dumbledore has mentioned he prefers the spells not be uttered in his school at all. Also, I will be testing you on your basic attacks and defences in Magic, especially shield work. Now, how many Unforgivable Curses are there and who can name what they are and what they do?" Dawn raised her hand in the air.

"There are three Unforgivable Curses sir," she answered evenly. "There's the Killing Curse, pronounced 'Avada Kedavra'; it is Aramaic for 'let the thing be destroyed'." Dawn continued.

"There's the Torture Curse, pronounced 'Crucio'; it is Latin for torture." Dawn said before finishing off what she knew. "And finally, there's the Control Curse, pronounced 'Imperio'; it is Latin for complete control."

She then stopped as Professor Moody waved his wand in the air and the words she spoke wrote themselves on the board. He turned to appraise her.

"Very good, at least you Yankees know what is important," he said with a growl. "Now let's see you work on your shield spells. Pair off!" With that, he waved his wand and sent all the seats and tables flying to line up against the walls, almost knocking the students over, as they had no warning he was going to do that. Buffy and Faith paired off while Dawn and a wand-less Mordred were left to face one another.

"Don't worry about me." Mordred assured Moody. "I know how to do a good shield spell."

With that, Dawn sent a Stunner at him, but when it reached him it hit a force field that encased Mordred in an invisible sphere that crackled with energy. Buffy and Faith took turns making shields while the other threw Stunners at them, but for the most part they just jumped out of the way when a spell went at them. When it was Dawn's turn to make a shield, Mordred nailed it with lightening and fire, which he held even though it bounced off and scorched the walls and destroyed the chairs and tables.

"What the Hell are you doing?" Buffy yelled, momentarily forgetting Faith, who took advantage of the situation by nailing her with a Stunner. Buffy went flying back but got up right away, prompting a confused look from Moody. Mordred kept nailing Dawn with various spells, ranging from fire to electricity to water, which got through her defences and soaked her.

"Luckily for you," Moody grunted, "that he didn't use both electricity _and_ water at the same time, or else you'd be crisped. Better work on your Shield spells a bit more. As for you two," he turned to Faith and Buffy, "dodging is all good and well, but if you get hit with a spell that is done properly and you have no Shield up it'll stop you dead. You don't always have the time to jump away." He pointed at his metal leg for emphasis. The four changed partners, with Mordred taking on Buffy and Dawn taking on Faith, and after awhile they switched again, with the Summers sisters taking each other on and Faith facing off against Mordred. Moody then ended the class with a small speech.

"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" He roared, when the students had all sat down again. "That's what you all need in order to survive. The best defences are useless if you freeze up at the wrong time, so be wary, be ready, BE VIGILANT!" he ended with a bang of his wand into the air. The class left in an excited manner, with Mordred leading the way by jumping down the halls.

"Wow, that was an amazing class." Faith said as the girls walked to lunch. "I wonder who the next teacher will be for next week?"

"Hopefully they'll alternate between Lupin and Moody." Said Dawn, before looking at Buffy. "Otherwise, we might have Snape teach a class before the real school starts."

"Ugh, bad enough to have him in Potions, does he have to ruin my week by being the Defence teacher as well?" Buffy asked. Dawn shook her head.

"Well, that's already two out of the five teachers Harry has had." She said counting off her fingers. "Lupin was his third year, Moody was his fourth even though it was an impostor, Quirrell is dead, and Lockhart has no memory. Snape taught one class during Lupin's time, so there's a good chance he'll teach one to us before September comes. Then we'll have Umbridge for the year, and believe me; you'll be wishing Snape were teaching instead of her. She's a lousy teacher."

They had lunch and then went off to Divination, where they did fortune telling using tea-leaf reading and bird entrails, which disgusted the girls but fascinated Mordred as he wanted to get some leftovers for Taltos and his spiders. The rest of the night passed in usual fashion, with Mordred and the Slayers going Patrolling and bagging several Polgara Demons, as well as some Mountain Trolls and Ubervamps (it was getting easier to kill them without Spike's help, as a single 'Solaris Globo' and they were bursting into flaming ashes.)

Thursday Buffy and Faith had off, so they trained in the Room of Requirement while Dawn and Mordred had classes, and Friday they all worked on their homework and trained. Mordred continued to get supplies for his wand, as well as extra poisons for his snake. When asked he merely shrugged.

"Well, I poison the rats I find and feed them along with some poisonous snails and poisonous frogs to the black widow-Acromantula crossbreeds I'm making, to make their venom more deadly," he was telling the girls, "and then I feed the spiders and some poisonous snakes to Taltos, so he becomes more deadly. I'm also taking in a bit of his venom at a time, so I can be immune to it. I'd offer you some, but it's way past regular potency by now, even for Slayers, and there aren't enough bezoars to go around for us all in case of an emergency."

"What types of poisons are you using?" asked Dawn. Mordred looked up and listed them from memory.

"Sea snake venom, poison from the poison candles I have, jelly fish stingers, some Basilisk venom that I'm also using for my wand ingredients, aconite plants, and several other poisonous things I can find, like the venom from the insectoids we fought awhile back." Mordred said while looking back at the girls. "By the time school starts, I'll be immune to most of the poisons in Snape's classes."

Mordred then went off on his broom as not everything he needed could be found in the Room of Requirement, and he was gone for all of Friday night, so the Slayers and Spike went Patrolling without him. They took on some Red Caps (which they easily stomped into the ground) as well as some regular Vampires (the ones that tried to run away were fried with fire spells.)

On Saturday Mordred came back with various items including "some fur and blood from a Kneazle-cat crossbreed", and they all went to the Chamber of Secrets to look around and see if any monsters were using it as a base. When they found no one there, Spike decided to make it his own home, as living in caves was getting tricky with all the other types of Vamps gunning for him night and day.

"You'll look like Gollum." Warned Buffy after looking around the water-filled chamber. Spike shrugged his shoulders and lit a cigarette, which Faith bummed off him while Mordred and Dawn set up the doors to recognise Spike's voice so only he and Parselmouths could get in and out of there when they wanted to. They also set up a fire pit so that they could Floo into the area if need be for dropping stuff off. Mordred then handed Spike his pet snake Taltos and gave him some instructions on how to take care of him (mainly get out of Taltos's way when he was eating.)

When they were done, Mordred cut off and grabbed up the head of the Basilisk, which still hadn't rotted away, and took it to the Slytherin Dungeon, where he said he wanted to hang it on the wall in the Slytherin boy's dormitory. Faith and Dawn got him to set it up in the Common Room instead, so that everyone who came into the Slytherin area would know that those three were a force to be reckoned with (plus the fact that two out of the three were Parselmouths didn't hurt).

"Hey guys." Buffy said cautiously. "Don't you think that's a little excessive? I mean, a big snakes' head in the middle of a dorm filled with statues, pictures, and other things of snakes. It just screams 'redundant'."

"Hey, you're just jealous there's no giant lion's head in the Gryffindor Common Room." Poked Dawn.

"Maybe Aslan will show up to be your mascot?" Faith asked cheekily. "I hear he hasn't had work since Narnia's Last Battle, maybe –" Faith was interrupted.

"Hey ladies! Check it out!" Mordred called over to them, waving his arms. "My egg is hatching."

The three girls went over to where he was sitting, and the four of them watched his egg move about. First one beak, then a second beak pushed through cracks in the egg. It burst open, revealing a very strange sight: the body of the bird shimmered in different colours, like a chameleon. It looked like a cross between a swan and a parrot, except it had a tail as long as a peacock's and two separate heads. It doubled in size while they watched and then began cawing at them.

"Food!" One head called. "Water!" The other head added.

Mordred gave it water, and after trying several items, which the bird refused to eat, settled on some roses Dawn had made with her wand.

"Neat bird." Said Faith.

"Thanks. I'm going to name it Panic and Chaos, or PaniChaos for short." Said Mordred, who was stroking the back of the bird. He passed the bird to the other girls, and they all took turns playing with it, stroking its feathers and feeding it flowers.

"Maybe it has some Phoenix powers from Fawkes' tears?" Suggested Dawn. "That way we'll have something to help cure us whenever we get really hurt."

"Also, it'll help add some ingredients for my wand." Added Mordred, while he was pulling out a syringe and a pair of tubes. He got some tears and blood off of the bird, and a feather, all of which he placed into his bag with the rest of the ingredients he had. He then let Dawn take PaniChaos with her to her room and he and the Slayers went off to patrol the Forest for the night.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Critical Conversations**

The Monday that week, Dawn opened up the book _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_ after History. She then pointed out where it began.

"Here is right now, only where Harry is at," she said, "August the Second is where Harry and his cousin will be attacked by Dementors, and the book actually begins."

"I wonder if we'll be mentioned in other books?" Mused Faith. "Or if this one changes as we go along? It'd be pretty useless to find out all the info we got turns out to be complete crap."

"True, but we'll only know when it happens." Said Dawn.

"That's a comforting thought," said Buffy sarcastically, "not."

They went to Charms class, where they learned how to do both Summoning Charms and Banishing Charms (Mordred just Levitated things with his hands and sent them back and forth). During Potions they studied Wit-Sharpening and Forgetfulness Potions (when Buffy mixed the two up Snape nonchalantly commented that that was why she got everything wrong.) She managed to take out her frustrations on some Dread Lords (winged Vampire-like monsters) who had the misfortune of flying in her way that night. After killing them all by ripping their wings off and carrying them up several thousand feet before letting them drop, she was able to rejoin Mordred and Faith, who were having a fun time just blasting some skeletal-like Boggles that they found hiding in the ground.

On Tuesday they learned about the properties of Bubotuber pus and had practical lessons in how to collect it safely in Herbology. In Transfiguration they each were taught on how to change a pocketwatch into a kettle, and after a few tries everyone was able to make a passable kettle that, on occasion, sung the time when it got hot. In COMC, they each took turns taking care of Salamanders by trying to keep a huge fire going in the middle of a rainstorm (Dawn had a clever idea of freezing the rain until it formed into a roof with some pillars over the fire and then having Mordred Transfigure it into stone.) After the rain stopped, Mordred and the Slayers took some of the Salamanders Patrolling with them and had them attack several nests of Vampires, making it into a very easy night for them.

On the Wednesday, after Dawn and Mordred came back from their Runes class, the four of them went to DADA class, where they again had Remus Lupin as their teacher. They learned about various Dark creatures, such as Grindylows, Red Caps, Vampires (which gave all four a good chuckle), Hinkypunks, Kappas, and Dementors. With the exception of Dementors and Vampires, all the creatures they were taught about were there in cages for their viewing. Divination and Astronomy both turned out to be linked together that night through Astrology, so Patrolling had to be put off until after midnight that night.

On Thursday Buffy and Faith were both in the Room of Requirement, but instead of just sparring Buffy wanted to look through some books.

"You've turned into a real bookwork, haven't you B?" Faith commented. Buffy flashed her an irritated glance before responding.

"I'm trying to find a way back home for us. As much as I like it here," she waved her free arm over her head, "this is not our home. We need to get back, and soon."

"Whoa B, what's the rush?" Asked Faith, who was grabbing some books as well. "I'm five-by-five with living large in the Castle here. After all, it isn't every place that yah can learn Magic at."

"We could learn Magic back at home, we just didn't try it. We had Willow do that for us." Buffy countered, tossing one book away and grabbing another one. "You _do_ remember that our world was kinda in the middle of an Apocalypse when we left it, don't you?"

"Yah, I remember." Faith shot back defensively. "I also remember that that weird guy we saw telling us what we do here now will help out in our world."

"I don't really trust that guy so much." Buffy said defensively, before calming herself down. "I'd just rather be there fighting than here worrying about our friends. Saving the world by being elsewhere is one thing, but I don't want to lose any more friends while I'm gone."

The two ladies continued looking through the books until Mordred and Dawn came into the room. Both were bubbling with excitement.

"We just learned the Magical properties of three different numbers!" Dawn said in an excited voice. "Also, today would be the day that Chapters four to six would be happening in the Harry Potter book. He's probably just in his own home right now, waiting for the Order memebers to come and get him, although he doesn't know it yet."

"I was just thinking," said Mordred, looking back and forth between Faith and Dawn, "we should have a nickname for us three, since we already have a mascot of sorts in Taltos and a trophy in the Basilisk head we have." He got in between the girls and placed his arms over their shoulders.

"We should call ourselves," he paused and looked into the air with his hands raised as if reading it, "the Slytherin Triumvirate!"

"Ok, that sounds cool." Faith said while Dawn nodded her head. "We're a Slytherin Trio, except we each have an equal say instead of having a leader." Dawn quickly turned to Buffy.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get into the Golden Trio's inner circle quickly enough." Dawn said reasuringly. "You're a natural hero, so Harry should come around to you soon enough and when he does, the others will too."

"Just as long as I don't have to date him, I'm good." Said Buffy, who went back to looking through one of the books. "In the meantime, we should be looking for a way back home. Maybe your Rune classes will help us out with this?"

"Might I remind everyone," Mordred said in a quiet voice, "that although you three may be able to go back to a place you call home, I might end up disappearing altogether. I may not have existed as long as you three have, but I kind of like being alive so you'll excuse me if I don't rush to find a way to undo myself." With that said, Mordred went looking for more potion ingredients and supplies for his potions.

Meanwhile, over at Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, an entirely different argument was taking place.

"Would you hear that racket?" Asked Fred to his twin George, who was trying to listen in on the Order of the Phoenix's secret meeting while Harry was screaming at the top of his lungs at Hermione and Ron. "You'd think he's done everything by himself, the way he's screaming at them."

"He _did_ win the TriWizard Tournament and face off against You-Know-Who." Supplied George, who had for the moment given up on the Extendable Ear he was using. "And he did give us the money for our mail-order company."

"True, but he had lots of help from both Hermione and Ron in winning the Tournament," countered Fred, "not to mention all the help he got from the two of them in getting the Philosopher's Stone, the Chamber of Secrets, and freeing Harry's Godfather, Sirius Black."

"Are you thinking . . ." began George. Fred followed up with "what I'm thinking? Yes I am." He turned around as they both prepared to Apparate into the room where the Golden Trio were residing. "I do believe now's the time to tell them of what we learned over the summer."

" . . . We've managed to clean out the kitchen," Hermione was saying, "most of the bedrooms and I think we're doing the drawing room tomo- AARGH!" She was interrupted as the twins Apparated into the room with two loud cracks.

"Hello, Harry," said George, beaming at him, "We thought we heard your dulcet tones."

"You don't want to bottle up your anger like that, Harry, let it all out." Said Fred, also beaming. "There might be a couple of people fifty miles away who didn't hear you."

"You two passed your Apparation test, then?" Asked Harry grouchily. The twins showed the three their Extendable Ears, which looked like flesh-coloured strings and were all set to use them when Ron's younger sister, Ginny, showed up.

"Oh, hello, Harry!" Ginny said brightly. "I thought I heard your voice." She then turned towards the twins.

"It's a no-go with the Extendable Ears, mum's gone and put up an Imperturbable Charm on the kitchen door."

"How d'you know?" Asked George, crestfallen at the news.

"Tonks told me how to find out." Said Ginny. "You just chuck stuff at the door and if can't make contact the door's been Imperturbed. I've been flicking Dungbombs from the top of the stairs and they just soar away, so there's no way the Extendable Ears will get under the gap."

Fred heaved a deep sigh, before suddenly cheering up slightly.

"I guess we better tell you guys what we know." He said, looking at his twin. "At least there's one thing we know that they don't."

"Or so we think." Supplied George. The other four closed in curiosity.

"What is it?" asked Harry, who was getting angry again in spite of being surrounded by his dear friends.

"Well, there are four new students at the school." Began Fred mischievously.

"All of them from outside the country." Continued George grinning.

"Possibly from that big country across the pond." Supplied Fred in mock thoughtfulness.

"They are taking summer classes to help catch up with the rest of the school." Added George helpfully.

"They're three stunning looking ladies." Said Fred, smiling brightly.

"And one dodgy looking male." Added George darkly.

"And at least two of them are Parselmouths." Both completed together.

The four looked on in shock, it was a full minute before anyone was able to say anything.

"How do you know there are two new Parselmouths?" She asked.

"We heard them talking to a snake the male, M-something, was holding." Said Fred.

"He and the youngest girl were able to speak to the snake." Said George. "We don't know if the other two can or not."

"Did you find out what Houses they were sorted into yet?" Asked Ron. Both twins shook their heads negatively in union.

"Great, they could all be in Slytherin for all we know." Harry said in despair. "Wouldn't that be wonderful? I can just picture it now; two new Parselmouths able to contact snakes so they can send out information to Voldemort, while we aren't even allowed to hear what's going on in the Order."

The group then began chatting animatedly over what has been happening so far, with Charlie and Bill coming over to the Order to help out while Percy joined with the Ministry in attacking Dumbledore's reputation. They also learned of several other useful things, such as the Ministry's refusal to believe in Voldemort's return, the persecution of Dumbledore and his believers, and the over-the-top lies being told about Harry via the Daily Prophet.

During their conversations, Dawn looked over the book back at Hogwarts where they would be speaking at and found no major changes.

"Nope," she said to Mordred after he asked her, "I can't find any mentions of us being made here." She then looked over at Buffy, who was now desperately looking over the many books that were on teleportation and traveling via Magic. Faith was making a good show of it, but she wasn't trying too hard in her own search.

"This either means we haven't been mentioned yet," said Dawn in a louder voice, "or the books don't show the changes at all." Dawn then looked over a list of facts on the people in the Harry Potter books.

"Wait a second," she said, "it's Dumbledore's birthday this upcoming Tuesday. We gotta do something for him."

This caused Buffy to cry out in frustration, causing Dawn to shy back as the eldest Slayer turned her gaze on her sister.

"What part of 'we've got to find a way home' did you not understand?" she asked loudly. "Getting Bumbleroar a present for his birthday is not on the top of my to-do list right now."

"I know what we could do," suggested Mordred as if Buffy hadn't of spoken at all, "but I don't think we'll be able to use your book for much help though."

"Why's that?" asked Dawn in an intrigued voice.

"Because I plan on capturing Bagman for him," said Mordred, "and sending Bagman to the Goblins along with some money so that they start liking good Wizards like Dumbledore again."

"That's a good idea Mordy," said Faith as she tossed aside the book she was pretending to read, "but how do you plan on doing that? You've been at your plan for awhile now, so do you have any ideas as to where he is at?"

"Yes I do." Mordred said as-matter-of-factly. "We can even get ourselves a bit of good press while we're at it. What do you think, B?"

"Count me _out_ of it," snapped Buffy, "if you three want to go out and play Wizard, that's fine by me. I'm going to find a way home for us, like it or not."

The newly minted Slytherin Triumvirate then left Buffy to look through books on portals while they went about searching for information on Bagman's whereabouts. They looked up his former team, the Wimbourne Wasps, and found that their location was a small town on the Southern Coast of England. They looked up various pictures and trophies of his, even finding a hair he had auctioned off after his fame started to die out, and then went to Wimbourne itself to look for clues on their brooms.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Bagging a Man for Cash and Controversy**

They arrived early Friday morning after flying for several hours, when everyone was asleep. They spent the entire night looking around Wimbourne Minster in the South West of England, using a piece of hair that Bagman had sold for money long ago. Dawn had spelled it to point its roots back at the owner, so they followed it all over the area. Throughout the entire day they searched and searched, until at around early Saturday morning they found some Vampires up and about in the cemeteries. They used a Sunshine spell to dust the Vamps, and they even robbed the cemetery of some of its more decorative items when they came upon a small hovel nearby one of the crypt entrances. They looked in and saw a little old lady dressed in rags and covered in hair peering worriedly at them. The hair they had pointed directly at her, causing her eyes to go wide with fear.

"Sorry ma'am," said Dawn as she pulled Mordred and Faith away, "we just got lost in the cemetery. We'll be on our way now."

She then led the other two off until she was certain that the lady wasn't watching them anymore, and then she spoke to them very quietly.

"That's probably Bagman using Polyjuice Potion to make himself appear as a female," she whispered quietly, "we've got to put her to sleep and check out her things to be sure. Here's my idea; Faith, you get up behind her while I distract her by asking for directions. Mordred, you be the lookout in case someone comes by. We don't want to be surprised by anyone."

"Ten-four," replied Faith as she silently crept back to where the hut was. Dawn went with her and went around the front, knocking on the door while Faith got into position. Mordred melted into the shadows and went around the area as a lookout.

"Excuse me ma'am," Dawn began, trying to lure the bag lady out of her home, "but we seem to be lost. Could you please tell us what this map says?"

Dawn held out a map of one of the locations that Bagman had once played at, and as the bag lady looked out her window Faith clocked her over the head with her fist. The bag lady fell back into her house unconscious, and the Triumvirate went it and looked around the place.

"A ha!" Mordred said triumphantly as he held a bottle up for the others to see, "Polyjuice Potion!"

"And not only that," added Faith as she uncovered a hidey-hole, "some of his trophies that he won. I guess he didn't want to lose these to the Goblins he owed money to."

"Better tie him up and wait for him to change," said Dawn, while Faith used Bagman's own wand to Conjure up some ropes that went around their unconscious victim while Mordred grabbed up the trophies and other valuable items he could steal. "I do hope that we're right about this, otherwise we've got a lot of explaining to do."

"We'll just have to wait," replied Mordred. The three of them waited over an hour, and just when they were getting antsy the bag lady began to change forms. She slowly turned into a male with a squashed nose, thinning blond hair, and glazed blue eyes. He tried to move about as he slowly woke up, but Dawn pulled out some Veritaserum that Mordred had pilfered from Snapes' Potions lab and poured it into Bagman's mouth before he was fully awake.

"Are you Ludo Bagman?" she asked directly, knowing the answer before he even said it.

"Yes, I am Ludo Bagman." Replied the bound man.

"Ok, we got our man," said Faith as she picked up Bagman and placed him over her shoulder, "that's very lucky on our part."

"Luck had nothing to do with it," said Mordred proudly, "it was pure skill, that's all."

"Sure it was." Said Dawn as she rolled her eyes while Mordred beat his chest theatrically.

"I love my job," he said, "Marilyn's Rainbow, this job, I would pull for free."

"Then can I have your share?" Asked Faith cheekily.

"No." Mordred quickly responded.

"Question is," asked Dawn, "where do we put him until Dumbledore's birthday?"

"I was thinking of an early birthday present," said Mordred cheerfully as he and the others mounted their brooms, "that way we can see if he likes our idea or not."

The three of them flew with Bagman and their loot in tow back to the Castle that morning, where they found an irate Buffy and some very concerned Professors.

"Where have you been?" snapped McGonagall in a stern voice. "School has not even really begun and already you three are already flouting school rules."

"We were Patrolling," replied Faith as she shifted Bagman over her shoulder, "didn't Headmaster D tell you about us Patrolling?"

"He may have made mention of it," replied McGonagall, "but according to the elder Miss Summers, you three went off to kidnap someone instead of Patrolling with her."

"Well, we _were_ Patrolling," replied Dawn before pointing at Bagman, "but we ran across this guy here, and figured we'd do our civic duty and bring him to justice while we're at it. We just wanted to see if Dumbledore would like to be the one who gave Bagman to the Goblins so that he could persuade them into supporting the Order of the Phoenix instead of the Death Eaters."

"Where did you hear about the Order?" asked McGonagall shrewdly.

"We found their name when we read about the First War with Voldemort." Dawn said with a shrug of her shoulders, while the other two Slytherins nodded their heads. Dawn grinned when she saw McGonagall cringe at the use of Riddle's title, but then stopped when she saw Dumbledore arrive.

"Hey, um, Happy early Birthday Headmaster Dumbledore," said Dawn, gesturing at the captive Bagman while Mordred and Faith both said Happy Birthday as well. "We figured this would help the Order, at least in getting support from the Goblins."

The three Slytherins smiled sheepishly as Dumbledore bent over and inspected Bagman. After a minute he rose up and looked at Filch, who had come to investigate.

"Please inform the Ministry that we have a felon at the Castle," said Dumbledore, "who was captured by three of our students. Make certain that it is Ministry officials who take him away instead of just Goblins, as they might be prone to cause any sort of 'accidents' on him that we'd all like to avoid."

Filch went off at a limping run while Dumbledore turned back to McGonagall.

"These foreign students _do_ have a strange religious ceremony which requires them to be out of school during the night," he said in a kind voice, "but it is _not_ applicable to Dawn as she is not of age just yet. I will be providing the other three with notes regarding this ceremony shortly, so I apologize for its lateness."

"Religious duty?" asked McGonagall perplexedly. "What sort of religious duty puts its followers at such risk?" She then turned to the four students and asked them directly.

"Aren't you worried you'll be injured in the Forest?" she asked.

"No, we never worry about that," Mordred quickly responded. "Semper Fi bit- I mean, Professor."

The four students and the Professors then turned to look at the Aurors who arrived via Floo powder, followed very shortly by Goblins from the Gringotts Bank.

"He's ours!" cried one of the Goblins while shaking his fists. "He owes us money so he belongs to us!"

"Now, now," said Head Auror Rufus Scrimgeour while watching his Aurors pick up Bagman and drag him through the fire to Floo him to a holding area, "we can't have you Goblins taking their own form of justice out on people, even if they did cheat you. Otherwise, everyone would be going into the streets and vigilantism would run rampant. Nobody wants that, especially with Harry Potter's trial coming up soon."

"What's your view of his trial?" asked Buffy while the Goblin stamped off muttering about cover-ups. Scrimgeour ran his hands through his mane of grey-streaked tawny hair while Mordred followed the Goblin at a reasonable distance.

"I have to tow the company line," he said dejectedly, "as a Ministry at war with itself will not be able to function properly, regardless of what dangers may or may not face it."

Buffy and Faith looked over at one of the fireplaces as the Goblins stomped back into it with angry faces while carrying some bags of gold, Vanishing in a flash of green light. The Triumvirate, Buffy and Dumbledore were all given some gold by the Aurors for capturing Bagman before the Aurors all Floo-ed out of the Castle.

"Looks like we're a bit closer to getting the Goblins on the Order's side," said Mordred with a grin as Dumbledore went back to his office, "at least Bill Weasley will have a better time at the negotiating table now that the Goblins have some of their money back along with the person who stole it all on trial."

The four students then went to bed, and the three girls slept through most of Sunday. Mordred took off to gather more potion ingredients, leaving the three girls to spend the Sunday afternoon practicing spells. When he came back in the evening he was carrying a huge sack filled with stuff and a cane with a silver wolf's head on it while huffing and puffing.

"I do believe I got the last of my ingredients for my wand," wheezed Mordred triumphantly. "I can now begin work on my wand."

Mordred then went into the boy's dorm of Slytherin, where he stayed for the rest of the night. Buffy, Faith and Spike Patrolled without him, and Dawn checked on the boy's dorm occasionally (although it was locked, so she had no idea what Mordred was doing.) On the Monday morning there was the sound of a huge explosion that rocked the entire Castle, and many Professors went with the three girls to the boys dorm. There, they found Mordred lying on his back, clutching his arms with his hands next to a crater in the floor.

"What on Earth were you doing?" asked Snape.

"Making my own wands," replied Mordred as he slowly got up off of the floor. He flexed his fingers, and then held out his arms above his head. Two sharp wands quickly poked through his wrists and went into his hands, leaving behind holes in his wrists that quickly closed up. He held both wands before spinning them in his hands, and then placed the tips of the handles together. The wands looked like sharp black stakes that were a foot long each, with four claws on the ends of the handles that closed around one another when he placed them together. He let go of the wands, leaving them in the air to float while the others looked on in wonder.

"Now I can start using my own wands," said Mordred as he grabbed the wands and put them both back into his hands. Veins reached out from his wrists and clamped onto the ends of the wands, causing the wands to retract back into his wrists.

"Ouch," said Dawn, "that looks like it hurts. You're gonna have to get some wrist sheaths to hide those holes, as you look weird enough without being able to open up your own wrists at will." The other two girls winced and nodded in agreement.

"It does hurt," agreed Mordred, "but I'll get used to it in time. And I do have some wrist bands to help conceal them."

Mordred began extending and retracting his wands from his wrists multiple times in a row while he and the three girls went back to the Room of Requirement while Snape tried to fix up the crater Mordred had caused. They looked at books on portals for several hours until Buffy just tossed a book through a table, leaving a hole in the wood.

"There's nothing at all on how to make a portal to another world," she complained bitterly, "more than enough on 'Apparating' and Flooing, but none on traveling between worlds. This is useless."

"Oh well," replied Dawn, "at least we're not stuck cleaning up a mansion full of Dark Magic materials. That's what Harry and his friends are doing at his Godfather's place."

"Face it B," said Faith, "we're stuck here until we fix the problem."

"But what _is_ the problem?" asked Buffy, "yeah, Voldy needs to be beaten like a red-headed stepchild in K-mart but that's going to happen with or without us anyways. What does the Wizarding World need _us_ for?"

"Well, there are the monsters out there," replied Mordred, "they weren't a part of the original stories. We need to kill them all off before school starts, otherwise they'll be attacking the students whenever they go anywhere near the Forbidden Forest."

"Hey, here's an idea," suggested Faith, "why don't we find out where these monsters are coming from and set it up so that they're too busy fighting one another to be bothered fighting us."

"That's a good idea Faith," replied Buffy, "question is, _where_ are all the monsters coming from?"

"It doesn't say in the books as they're new like us," Dawn answered uneasily. "It's too bad we can't go over to Harry's Godfather's place and find out any ideas the Order have for this problem."

"What is Harry's Godfather's name?" asked Buffy curiously in spite of her initial attitude towards the situation they were in.

"His name is Sirius." Replied Dawn. Buffy rolled her eyes and then looked back at Dawn.

"I _know_ his name's serious," she said, "but _what_ is it?"

"Oh for the love of Abbot and Costello!" exclaimed Mordred as Dawn burst out laughing at her perplexed sister. "His name is Sirius, S-I-R-I-U-S, as in the Dog Star, not serious as in the situation."

"Oh, ok," replied Buffy, "how can they help? Why not just ask Pumplepour on what they're planning on doing, since he's the head of the Order?"

Dawn's eyes went wide, and she shrieked in joy.

"Great idea Buffy," she said with a clap of her hands, "I knew there was something I was forgetting. I can ask Dumbledore this Friday if he knows anything."

"Why not before?" asked Faith. Dawn shook her head.

"Because he's got enough on his mind already with Harry's trial on the Thursday," replied Dawn, "I don't want him to lose his focus."

That night during Patrolling, the two Slayers and Mordred approached Spike with the idea of a monster civil war.

"Sounds like a good idea," replied Spike after taking a drag from his cigarette, "as it is, the monsters are only being held in check by about four Big Bad's from what I heard from the rumour mill."

"Did you get a look at them?" asked Buffy.

"No," replied Spike after taking a long drag, "I only heard about them from some fellow Vamps. According to them, there's supposed to be an army forming together on the last day of August. Something to do with St. Bartholomew's Day on the twenty-fourth and the massacre that once happened there in Transylvania. Count Vlad Drakul, which is this world's Dracula, had over sixty thousand people impaled on that day using Magic. They want to harness the souls of the people and animals they plan on sacrificing and create a really Big Bad to take out Hogwarts with. They're gathering all sorts of Demons to their cause."

"What sorts of Demons?" asked Mordred.

"Ubervamps, Vampires, Death Dogs, Bugbears, Felhounds, Mumblers, Cherubs, Demon Imps, Dread Lords, Garthim, Boggles, Beholders and Shamblers." Replied Spike as he counted them off of his list. "Oh, and there may be some walking corpses that they call Inferi, they can only be hurt by fire, so be prepared to whip out your wands and roast a few Zombies."

"Ok, then lets go scouting," said Buffy as she and the other two students got on their brooms. Spike hopped on Buffy's broom and they flew into the air, following Spike's directions towards the cave in the mountains that accommodated the growing horde of monsters.

Before they went into the cave, Mordred tapped his three friends and himself over the heads with a wand, putting a Disillusionment Charm on all of them as they went deep into the cave. They wandered about a mile or two before they found some groups of Vampires patrolling the caverns. Mordred and Spike held the Slayers off from Slaying the Vamps, as that would raise too much suspicion too soon, and continued on to where they found the main part of the monster army.

In a huge cavern that spanned several hundred feet deep, not unlike the one back in Sunnydale that contained all the Ubervamps, there was a massive group of various monsters all wandering around the area. Amongst the Ubervamps and Vampires that crowded the cave there were rat-like Death Dogs and visceral Felhounds all baying and gnashing at one another. There were also toddler-sized Mumblers waving knives at the similar sized Cherubs that buzzed around them. Pale Boggles waded through these smaller creatures while trying to avoid the larger ones, their mole-like eyes glistening out of their skeletal faces. Multi-eyed humanoid Demon Imps scrambled around the floors and walls, igniting their hands with plasma anytime their path was impeded. Huge Bugbears armed with axes argued with Balrog-like Dread Lords that flapped their bat-like wings while waving swords made of fire, ice and bone, while headless Shamblers watched on, gnashing the teeth where their heads should have been and dragging their huge claws on the ground. Beetle-like Garthim lumbered mindlessly by while clacking their claws, and multi-eyed Beholders floated through the air, their tentacles hanging off their bodies and staring at everything with their eye-stalks.

The two Slayers, Spike, and Mordred went to a nook high above as they watched the masses of varying creatures tussle with one another. Before a fight could break out though, one of the leaders of the group appeared on a flying carpet while wearing a suit of bronze and leather armour with a kind of bronze helmet on his head that reached down the back of his neck to his shoulders. He had on a long, hooded black cloak that failed to hide the heavy-bladed sword on his back. His eyes were dancing with flames, and he had an oddly archaic look about his features that made his face look dead in spite of the dancing flames in his eyes. As he flew over the monster army, they started to chant the name 'Ghend' over and over again.

"My Demon brethren," he began as the crowd quieted down, "I myself have full confidence that if we do our duty, if nothing is neglected, and if the best arrangements are made as they are being made, we shall prove ourselves worthy to once again be able to reclaim our Demonic home, to raise up a storm of war and wipe out the plague of Humanity. Even though many of our number and many places we called home have fallen into the grip of Mortal kind and all the odious apparatus of Mortal rule, we shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end, we shall fight on the outside world, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall reclaim our world, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this cavern or a large part of it were subjugated and destroyed, then our friends beyond the walls, armed and guarded by the very forces of Hell itself, would carry on the struggle, until, in good time, our Demon World Order, with its power and might, steps forth to the reclamation and liberation of the Old World which we strive to return to." Ghend then stopped and looked over the monster rally, whom had all stood spellbound at Ghend's speech.

"Now I ask you," he said in a deep voice, "do you want total war? If necessary, do you want a war more total and radical than anything that we can even imagine today?"

The rabble of monsters all roared in approval, shaking the very walls with the sound of their roars.

"Then let us stop fighting amongst ourselves," cried out Ghend, "and strive to prepare ourselves for the time when we shall attack at large. We only have two more weeks, for on the day of St. Bartholomew, we shall unleash our secret weapons and strike the Mortal world with such fury that the flames of our war will last for a thousand years."

Ghend then flew his carpet back into a hole across from where the four invisible eavesdroppers were hiding.

"We've got to get rid of him," whispered Buffy to the others, "otherwise he'll recruit more monsters and people using those World War Two speeches he stole."

"Yeah, let's take him out now." Said Faith as she manoeuvred herself into position to fly into the hole Ghend had gone into. But before she could fly Mordred held her back.

"We've got to find out who the other three leaders are," he cautioned, "if we can set it up that by assassinating one will get the others to attack each other with armies then we'll have an easier time wiping out the armies. Also, I don't think he was bluffing about 'secret weapons' in his speech. We've got to find those and neutralize them before they can be put into use."

"Ok, then let's go in for a closer look," suggested Buffy. The four of them flew over on their brooms and went into the hole that Ghend had escaped to.

It took them only a moment to find a smaller room with a square table in the middle of it. Ghend seated himself on one end while the other monster leaders waited impatiently for him. Across from him was a Kakistos-like Vampire dressed in battle-armour, with cloven hooves in place of hands and a permanently Vamped face and a crown of thorns on his head, making him out to be king-like. On the right side of Ghend was a small girl with long black hair, cute pink Hello Kitty shoes and a white dress stained with blood. Her smile showed a mouthful of needle-like teeth, and the black cat on her shoulder licked at her mouth with its' tongue while both watched on impassively with their yellow cat's eyes. On the final side of the table sat a huge wolf-like creature the size of an ox, with large jaws that sprouted sharp yellowish teeth and bright eyes that shot green fire from them. It glared and growled at the cat on the girl's shoulder, and then opened its mouth up.

"Why must you always carry such a foul thing on your shoulder, Anya," it growled menacingly at her, causing her cat to hiss at him. "Egyptian Cat-Demon or not, it's really annoying."

"Piss off, you cur," said Anya, "and it's Supreme Pontiff of Vampires or VamPope to you, as I am also of Holy Vampire heritage, and I am beyond explaining my heritage or powers to a mere talking dog, even if you are a servant of the Void."

"Enough bickering," said Ghend, "we already have enough problems with our separate armies fighting amongst themselves as it is, we don't need to add to it by fighting each other."

"Easy for you to say," said the Kakistos-rex darkly, "my Vampires and Turok-Han are near starving due to your refusal to let them all hunt at will, what little blood we get is not enough to feed us as all. In spite of our similar ancestry _VamPope_," he said sarcastically, "you yourself have done nothing to help your fellow Vampires!"

"What of the pathetic Mumblers you own?" asked the VamPope with her eyebrows raised, "surely thy can be used as fodder for your Vampires, or is killing things that look like toddlers too much for a King of Vampires? I have my own Dread Lords to worry about feeding blood to, at least my Cherubs are easy to feed scraps to."

"And what of your Imps?" asked the Wolf-like creature. "My Death Dogs and Felhounds are being attacked and almost eaten by your foot soldiers, if it weren't for my own Bugbears you would have used my army as a food source!"

"Peace, G'Mork!" cried Ghend as the Wolf-creature and the Cat-Demon snarled at each other. "I admit that we all have our own problems. But we also have forces that, when combined, will be unstoppable to any force on this world. My own Shamblers are enough to take on any opposing forces, and my Beholders will rule the skies while the Boggles clean up any things left over. Combined with your armies, this grand army will be unstoppable."

"_If_ we can keep each of our armies from killing each other," said the Kakistos-rex tensely, "those Garthim soldiers are worse than useless when it comes to keeping order amongst our forces."

"I'm sure that once we unleash our Balroglords from the Void from which they come from," said Ghend, "our forces shall keep in line with one another. We each have a connection to the Balroglords; G'Mork with your knowledge of the Void and your services to it in the past, the VamPope with your Demonic powers and Dread Lords who'll worship the Balroglords as their Gods, and Kakistos-rex with your Vampiric hoards and dark forces. I also have my own connection due to my brief stay in the Void long ago, but we must keep our connections together so that we may first unleash, and then control, these Dark beings."

"Hold my friends," said the Kakistos-rex suddenly, "I sense that a Vampire is watching us."

With that, the four eavesdroppers quickly fled from the area, flying nearby the ceiling and just barely escaping out of the cave. They flew back to the Castle and went over what they had heard in one of the corridors leading to the Great Hall.

"We've got to warn some of the others," said Buffy, "like Lumpledore. He'll be able to discreetly tell others -"

"Not exactly," interrupted Mordred, "nobody believes him regarding Riddle's return, any mentions of a Demonic army will get him laughed into the loony bin or worst. We've got to tell Dawn about this."

"What for?" asked Buffy defensively, "she can't fight those monsters, even with her Magic."

"I know that," replied Mordred irritatedly, "but she can research them and help give us ideas on how to fight them or, better yet, get them to fight one another."

"How about we talk about this in the morning," said Faith, "I'm beat, and we still do have classes to go to. I'm starting to sorta regret getting back into school again."

With that, the four split up and went into their separate dorm rooms, with Faith and Buffy heading to bed. Spike went to the Chamber of Secrets while Mordred went to meditate and work on some potions he was making.

On the Monday morning during History class, Mordred discreetly filled Dawn in what had happened while both Faith and Buffy snored away. Dawn went to work helping them research the monsters right away, and was so into it she mixed up a Summoning Charm and sent a frog careening into Buffy's face (or so she said, although the smirk on her face almost gave it away as a good prank.) During Potions class Buffy got semi-even with her by causing her Potion to explode all over the three Slytherins, covering Dawn, Mordred, and Faith with a Hair-Raising Potion that made the hair on the girls' heads stand up as if they had been hit by lightening bolts for the rest of the class (Mordred didn't have that much hair so he didn't look any different.) That night during Patrolling the Slayers and Mordred noticed that the amount of monsters had trickled down to a very few, with a general exodus going to the caves around the place they had found the army located the other night.

The next day, they studied Mandrakes again in Herbology class. Mordred and Dawn both managed to get their baby Mandrakes planted on their first tries, but Faith and Buffy both ended up killing several Mandrakes as they both tried to silence the screaming plants when Buffy accidentally choked hers out and Faith just punched her Mandrake in the head.

"Annoying thing just wouldn't shut up," was the only explanation Faith had for Professor Sprout as she was given her homework.

During Transfiguration, Mordred used both his wands to not only animate the paper animals that the class was working on, he also turned the paper birds into real doves which flew around the room while the three other students looked on in surprise and wonder. McGonagall was so impressed she didn't give out any homework to the four students, but she did tell them to study hard for when they were to have their O.W.L.s in the upcoming year. Mordred's joy at his Transfiguration abilities didn't last long, as the pack of Crups that they were shown all began barking at him the moment they saw the four students. Mordred was attacked and bitten by snarling Crups, so he sat out while the three girls were able to tame the dog-like creatures only using some small dog biscuits.

"How is it most of the creatures we're supposed to be learning about go nuts every time I go near them?" despaired Mordred as the four of them walked back into the Castle. "How am I supposed to pass the course if I can't handle them?"

"Maybe you should try some spells on yourself to make you give off a less Demony vibe?" suggested Dawn.

"Or maybe Caring for Magical Creatures is just your one bad class," said Faith, "like Potions class is B's. You can't be good at everything, yah know. Look at B; she's good at DADA and Flying, but horrible at Potions."

"Hey," shot Buffy indignantly, "I could be good at Potions if the teacher wasn't such an ass-clown."

"And I'd be better at Care of Magical Creatures if the animals didn't go crazy every time they saw me," Mordred shot back, "all this needs is a segment on Oprah titled 'Why We'd Do Better At Our Classes.'"

"He's sorta right Buffy," said Dawn, "despite all of Snape's attacks on you, you can do good at Potions. And in spite of Mordred's lousy performance with animals, I'm sure you'll learn how to deal with the animals we are going to learn about in the future."

"How would I be able to do that?" lamented Mordred pitifully while Buffy frowned.

"Just use your natural Magic," suggested Dawn, "you know, holding them still with a Freezing Charm while you study them."

"Or you can use some mind controlling spells," interjected Faith, "at least then it'll be on animals instead of humans, so maybe you'll be able to use that sort of Magic on them?"

"Faith does have a point," said Dawn, "just don't use the actual Imperius Curse or you'll wind up in a lot of trouble."

"Ladies," said Mordred while laughing, "that's the best advice I've had yet. You've just blown my mind."

"It would blow your mind," replied Faith cheekily, "to learn that circles are, in fact, round."

"Please," said Mordred casually, "I can only be blown so many times in one day."

"_That's_ it," stated Dawn, "I'm outta this conversation."

She stomped off while the other two girls laughed at Mordred while he looked on in puzzlement. They just didn't have the heart to explain to him what he said wrong during Patrolling that night, although they _did_ do a lot of snickering when he wasn't looking.

On Wednesday morning Dawn and Mordred learned how to translate various Runes from Celtic, Icelandic, Norwegian, and other cultures into English while Faith and Buffy both happily slept in. During their DADA class, they had Moody as their Professor again.

"Hello again," growled Moody as they all sat down, "today is your lucky day." He rubbed his hands together and pulled a chair into the center of the room before he paused and looked at them.

"Why d'you suppose I'm saying today's your lucky day?" asked Moody shrewdly, "take a guess or two."

The four students raised their hands, with Dawn waving her arm back and forth to get Moody's attention. He took his time before pointing at her, smiling crookedly as she stood up to answer.

"I'm just guessing," Dawn said, "but I think you're going to try out the Imperius Curse on us to see how well we'd do against it."

"And how do you know that _that's_ what I was going to do?" asked Moody quickly, "do you have the ability to perform Legilimency or are there spies in Dumbledore's office?"

"Well," began Dawn nervously, "that's what your impersonator Crouch did last year with the Fourth Years, so I figured that that's what you would do as well since Crouch was trying to be exactly like you all year."

"Well then missy," replied Moody, "since you know so much about it, you'll be the first one in line for it. Stand next to the chair."

His order shocked the students, and as Dawn went to stand next to the chair Buffy jumped up.

"How about you try it on somebody bigger," she challenged, "or is picking on little girls the best you can do?"

"She _is_ bigger than you are," said Moody with a grin, "and you'll all get your turns soon enough. Now Dawn," he said as he turned to her, "try to resist as much as you can. Don't worry if you fail, not everyone can throw off the Imperius Curse."

Dawn nodded her head, and then Moody pointed his wand at her. With a cry of "_Imperio_", he shot the Curse at Dawn, causing her to stand almost stock-still. She moved her foot towards the chair, but before she could go to the chair her knees buckled and she dropped down on the floor. She crawled away into a corner and began mumbling to herself, causing Buffy to jump up in front of Moody, breaking the spell.

"Enough!" she cried, as Dawn slowly recovered, "she's had enough! You can control her already!"

"Actually," replied Moody, "no I can't. I was trying to get her to get on the chair; she fought against it with all her strength of will. I guess that means it's _your_ turn now."

With that, Moody pointed his wand at Buffy.

"_Imperio_!" he cried, only to look on in astonishment as Buffy ignored it completely as she walked away from him. He tried it several more times on Buffy, and then tried it on Faith with the same results. Neither Slayer succumbed to the Imperius Curse, leaving Moody confused yet happy.

"Very good ladies," he growled in an almost cheerful manner, "now it's Flaggson's turn."

Mordred went up to the chair, but when he was hit with the Curse his Shield Spell kicked in, covering him with a sphere of energy that crackled as Moody tried to break through it.

"Very good Shield Charm Flaggson," said Moody as he dropped the Curse, "but what happens if you get hit when you don't have it up?"

"I'll try to turn it off," said Mordred before popping out both his wands. He placed them both together by the handles, and they floated out of his hands, going just over his head and spinning slowly in the air. While he was doing this Moody went up behind him and pointed his wand at Flaggson's back.

"_Imperio_!" he cried, catching Mordred right in the back with it. But before he could command Mordred to do anything, Mordred back flipped into Moody, knocking them both down on the ground. Mordred span around and wrapped his hands around Moody's throat, snarling savagely like a wild animal. Buffy and Faith jumped on Mordred before he could choke Moody out, grabbing his arms and prying him away from Moody. After taking ten minutes to compose themselves, Moody went back to Mordred.

"Did you attack me of your own free will," he asked, "or was that another one of those weird things you seem do be able to do?"

"It wasn't what I was planning on," replied Mordred as he looked at Moody, "it was like my body suddenly had a mind of its own, or in truth, a whole bunch of minds of its own and they all just saw you as one too many minds inside my head."

Mordred was silent all throughout their Divination class, leaving any questions Trelawney asked to be answered by the three girls. He went off from Buffy and Faith when they went Patrolling, leaving them to fight some Demonic stragglers that they found nearby the caves. They found Mordred hovering above a gang of monsters, but instead of firing spells at them he was just pointing his wand at them. As Buffy and Faith watched, the gang of monsters fought each other as Vampires bit into Imps, who they themselves threw fireballs at Death Dogs that were tackling Boggles. The Boggles themselves were swiping at the feet of the Vampires, causing a roundabout assault that went not only back and forth between aggressors, but all over as every time an attack missed its intended victim it hit a different victim instead. The Slayers watched Mordred occasionally point a wand down at the infighting hoard as if he was directing traffic. Buffy had a sudden insight and rushed up next to Mordred.

"You're using the Curse we learned today," she chastised, "it's an Unforgivable Curse. You could get thrown into _jail_ for that."

"_Only_ if I use it on a Human being," replied Mordred, "and only if I get caught. As far as anyone else knows, these monsters are just having a falling out right now."

"You're not gonna wipe them all out like that, are yah Mordy?" asked Faith, "cause I'm still itching to do some major ass-whuppin right now."

"Actually," said Mordred cautiously, "I'd like for a few survivors to head back to their bosses of their own free will so that my spell isn't traced. That way, they'll be so busy trying to hold their armies together that when they do create a big Balroglord, they'll be powerless to control it."

"And then what?" asked Buffy, but Mordred had an answer for that also.

"We kill the four bosses," said Mordred, "set the Balroglord up in an area where it'll kill any Demons that go there, and set up the armies outside to attacking one another for the rest of the year. That way, during school we'll have only a minimal amount of Slaying to do, giving us more time to do school work."

The others paused before flying over and clapping him on the back in appreciation.

"You're smarter than you look," said Faith to a smiling Mordred, "but then again, nobody could be _that_ stupid and live."

"It's better than looking smarter than you actually are," replied Mordred as he jabbed his wand down again, "and may I remind you that out of all of us, I'm the one with the highest grades as well as the ability to do the Imperius Curse."

The three of them then continued floating up in the air as Mordred directed the fighting amongst the Demons. He allowed for one deserter from each group to flee the area every hour so that the news of infighting could be spread, before sending a group of controlled Garthim to wipe out the last of the Demons. The mindless brutes outnumbered the Demons three-to-one, however if it weren't for their extremely hard shells they would have been killed off due to their stupidity. The three students then flew back to the Castle where the Slayers went to bed and Mordred worked on his potions.

On the Thursday after Dawn and Mordred did their Arithmancy class, Dawn read from the fourth Harry Potter book to the others during lunch.

"We may have missed Harry's trial," she said as she closed her book and helped herself to some turkey, "but I think we should go check out Bagman's trial."

"How do you know Bagman's trial is today?" asked Buffy as she ate some roast beef, "it's not like there's a news report on it. As a matter of fact, the newspapers haven't said anything about his capture at all."

"That's because it was Dumbledore who was the one who handed him to the Ministry officials," said Dawn, "and they don't want to say anything good about him, as the Ministry are labelling him as a crackpot."

"As for us finding out about it," Dawn continued, "I made some snakes to go looking around after I Disillusioned them. I've been making quite a few to help you guys in keeping an eye on any Big Bad's in the Forest, so just ask for them and I'll make more for you."

"Ok, thanks," said Buffy as she looked at Faith and Mordred. Mordred had a huge helping of Blood Pudding going down his throat, so he couldn't speak, so she directed her question at Faith.

"Did you know that we could have been sending out snake scouts without having to go ourselves?" asked Buffy. Faith shrugged her shoulders.

"I knew Dawnie was making snakes," replied Faith, "but I figured that the only way to know for sure about any monsters was to go see them ourselves. Besides, Patrolling keeps us in shape, what with all the fights we get into."

After lunch they traveled through the secret passageways to Hogsmeade, where they flew over to an area for Floo transport. They went to the Ministry of Magic headquarters, where they identified themselves as tourists and received their badges (this was after knocking out some officials whom they ran into at the entrance). Once inside, they went towards the courtrooms and were about to start looking through them when they found a rather strange sight.

"_Hey Dawn_," said Mordred, "_there's Bagman! What's he doing out of his chains?"_

The others turned to see that several different Wizards were escorting Bagman towards one of the fireplaces while they looked around to avoid being spotted. When they believed that they had not been seen, they handed Bagman some Floo powder and a big brass key with a ring on the end of it before putting him next to the fireplace.

"Now remember," the four students heard one of them say, "you've got to stay out of sight _completely _this time. No more going to places you're famous at. You've got to stay hidden until the Goblins revolt, that way we can take over the banks when we defeat them. _Then_ you can come out of hiding. And don't touch any of the money in our vault, or Goblins will be the least of your worries."

Bagman nodded his head before tossing in the silvery powder into the fireplace, causing emerald green flames to burst up. He then stepped into the flames and pulled out a piece of paper.

"Moutohora Macaws Mansion!" he stated, causing him to disappear in a burst of flames. Mordred tapped the three others on their shoulders and showed them the Floo powder he had with him.

"We know where he's gone," he said as he handed them each a handful of the silvery powder, "we just need to catch him again before he completely disappears."

The four of them went to separate fireplaces and waited until the people before them went to their destinations. They each used the Floo Powder to go to the Mansion of the Moutohora Macaws, where they found themselves in a New Zealand mansion that looked out over the ocean from one of the mountains. They passed by the group inside that was gathering around Sparky the Phoenix, who was their Quidditch team's mascot, and went to one of the balconies that looked out onto the ocean. They looked around from it, and saw Bagman standing on one of the balconies below, his head covered in a green bowler cap and his eyes shielded with sunglasses. The two Slayers went on the ledge, and after looking around so that no one would see them, they leapt from above and tackled Bagman to the ground. They knocked him out before putting him into a sack, and then Buffy carried him back to one of the fireplaces where Mordred and Dawn were waiting. The four of them went into the fireplace and Mordred tossed some Floo Powder at their feet, causing a burst of green flame to envelope them.

"Gringotts Bank in England!" stated Mordred, sending them into one of the fireplaces located in Gringotts. As the four of them stepped out Buffy dropped the sack containing Bagman and turned to Mordred.

"Weren't we supposed to go back to the Ministry so that he could be tried," asked Buffy. Mordred shook his head.

"They would have just released him again," replied Mordred, "and this way the people he swindled get the satisfaction of getting him back." Mordred then grabbed up the bound Bagman and carried him off with Dawn and Faith in tow while Buffy looked on in shock.

"What if he gets hurt by his creditors?" asked Buffy to no avail, as Mordred had already dumped Bagman out of his sack in front of several Goblins.

"Here's a small present," said Mordred with a bow, "from the Wizarding community to the Goblins whom we owe our gratitude for managing the banks for everyone. We want you to know that we _do_ understand that people whom steal from others should be punished for it, and that the best punishments for it are sometimes decided by the people whom were robbed."

With that, the Goblins converged onto a hapless Bagman and dragged him off as the Slytherin Triumvirate were thanked by some other Goblins. Buffy watched on from the shadows as the Triumvirate had their pictures taken with the jubilant Goblins, who had to reach above their heads to give out small bags of gold and shake hands with the taller students. Afterwards, the four students looked at the brass key they had swiped along with the gold from Bagman and read the legend on it.

"Pure-Blood Banking Clan," read Dawn out loud, "for Wizards and Witches against Goblin-controlled Banks dominating the entire world economy through international banking."

"Sorta like what the Nazi's said about the Jews," observed Buffy, "right before they start rounding them up and gassing them. We should tell someone about -"

"Wait!" Dawn interrupted, "there's more on the back. 'Cave of the Black Springs Headquarters.' That's in Wales! I know where this is!" She went to one of the fireplaces with the others right behind her, and had Mordred toss some Floo Powder into the fire.

"Main Floo station in Wales please!" she said, and they went on in with their brooms. They managed to avoid any line-ups as they walked out the doors there, and flew over to the Upper Swansea Valley area where the Cave of the Black Springs was located underneath a hillside. Mordred Disillusioned them all before they went into the cave, and found it full of Vampires that hid in the mazes that made it up. They went all the way to the back of it and found a small door with a lock on it, guarded by two Vampires whom they quickly Slew. Then Dawn used the key to open up the door and found a room filled with Firebolt brooms and a vat the size of a small pool filled with liquid gold. Next to the vat was a stamp for making coins with various numbers on it.

"If I was a betting woman," said Buffy, "and I'm not, I'd say that this is where they plan on making a new currency to go against the current one."

"Let's relieve them of all this gold so that they can have more room to lounge about in," suggested Mordred, "and maybe we can take some of their brooms as well to help us carry it?"

"Yeah, just fly past all those Vampires and hope they don't notice the huge flying vat of gold whizzing past their heads," remarked Buffy in a sarcastic manner. "I'm sure _that_ plan would work."

"Well, we could fry the lot of the Vamps with our Sunshine Spell," replied Faith, "and the Welsh Floo station wasn't too full so using these Firebolts, we could get to the Chamber of Secrets in no time. We just have to stick together as we go along so we don't get lost."

"Great idea Faith," said Dawn, "so who's going to do the spell?"

Mordred answered by popping out one of his wands and going to the entrance as Faith and Buffy each grabbed a side of the vat while getting on a Firebolt. Dawn tied up some more Firebolts to the vat to help it fly, and grabbed up some brooms for herself. When she whistled, the Slayers and her shielded their eyes as Mordred let loose a powerful Sunshine spell that filled the caverns with sunlight, dusting all the Vamps. Before he had completed the spell, the four of them were sailing thorough the air with the vat towards the entrance of the cave, narrowly missing cave walls and rocks that jutted out in their way. They flew through the entrance as the Vampires not hit by the spell tried to capture them in vain, and they flew back to the Welsh Floo station where Mordred tossed his Floo Powder into the fireplace.

"Chamber of Secrets!" he said, and they rushed in on a very surprised Spike as he was enjoying an evening drink of blood. He was only irritated until they showed him the gold they had, as well as the brooms, and he helped them hide it in one of the areas behind the statue of Slytherin with the rest of their loot. Afterwards, the four students went around Hogsmeade in celebration, hitting the Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour and each getting a sundae before heading back to the Castle. When they got into the Castle, McGonagall was waiting for them at the entrance.

"May I speak with you all privately?" she asked in a tone that brooked no other options. They followed her back to her office, where she had them all sit down around her table.

"I know that we all have our own secrets to keep," she said briskly, "but I really must ask you on how you knew about the Order in spite of me not telling you about it. And I don't mean the Order during the First War, I mean what you know about the current one now."

"Well," said Dawn as she paused to gather her thoughts, "we are using snakes to travel around the school and other areas to gather information for us."

"I've run into a few of those," said McGonagall with a hint of distaste in her voice, "and there's no way they could have gotten as much information for you as you claim they have done. Where else are you getting your information fr-"

At that moment, Dumbledore appeared in the room, sweeping majestically through the door and drawing everyone's attention.

"Relax, Minerva," he said in a calming voice, "these are no spies of Voldemort, I assure you." He then looked over the four students as they breathed a sigh of relief.

"I _do_ however," he continued, "have reservations against the students leaving Hogwarts en masse just to go capture an escaping debtor and to commit robbery."

"Bagman was in Australia," replied Mordred, "and the courts were the ones who let him go. Also, he and his friends were planning to use that gold to eliminate the Goblins from their position as Bankers."

"I know that they had let him go," said Dumbledore, "as we had Order members waiting for him in Australia at the time. Your capture of him before giving him to the Goblins while getting your pictures taken was not what we had planned on, however."

"If you had caught him," asked Buffy, "would you have given him to the Goblins?"

"Merlin's Beard, no," replied Dumbledore, "we would have placed him back into the courts. As corrupt as they may be, if people start practising their own brand of justice it would tear the Wizarding World apart with vigilantes running all over. Voldemort and his Death Eaters won't need to spread strife and fear; it would already be done for him then."

Buffy turned around and elbowed Faith and Mordred in the sides as Dumbledore was talking, causing them and Dawn to grin sheepishly at her, Dumbledore and McGonagall. Buffy then strode up to Dumbledore when he was finished.

"We need to talk privately," she said, "about what we've found on our 'religious' Patrols."

"Very well," said Dumbledore as he nodded his head and dismissed McGonagall, "what have you found so far."

The four of them told him about the converging Demon armies that they had found, and the plans that were being made by both the Demon leaders and their own plans on how to get rid of them all (excluding Mordred's ability to use the Imperius Curse). Dumbledore was silent throughout, only nodding his head here or there when they looked to see that he was still listening. When they were done, he then spoke up.

"I agree that the Balroglord _could_ be used to destroy the armies located in the caves," he said, "but that monster will not just sit and wait for others to venture in, nor can it be controlled in such a manner as to be put to any non-violent use. I'm afraid I'll have to veto the idea of letting the Balroglord free at all."

"Ok," said Buffy, "we'll think of how to get rid of the army _before_ they get a Balroglord. Any suggestions you would like to add?"

"Perhaps your Vampire friend Spike could rally the regular Vampires against the army," suggested Dumbledore, "and you replace any innocents that are to be sacrificed with members of the army as well. That way you'll be able to cut down on the numbers, as not many beings would be willingly sacrificed for others. Here's a map of the areas where the captives that they already have can be located."

"Good idea," said Buffy as the others nodded in approval while grabbing up the map Dumbledore handed to them. "We'll get to working on that right away."

The four of them left the office and went to the Room of Requirement, where they began planning on what to do to wipe out the army. Faith and Buffy sparred with one another as Dawn and Mordred worked on spells and potions to help out even the odds. Mordred and Dawn began creating more snakes, with Mordred adding explosive properties to them so that they could be used against the monsters. They worked well into the night on plans, and they came up with several good ones as a main plan and a few back up plans. When Mordred and the Slayers went out Patrolling Dawn continued working on various ideas to help out, even though she wouldn't be a part of the actual fighting.

During Patrolling they informed Spike of their ideas, getting his input on some of them and telling him how he'd be able to help out. He set to going about the Vampires that they found, telling them that they were the ones to be sacrificed in order for the Demons to wipe them out and take over their territories. This incensed the Vampires, who then spread the word amongst each other and dampened the flow of regular Vampires to the caves that the armies owned. The Slayers and Mordred went after the other monsters around the caves, collapsing several tunnels onto the creatures and blasting them from above with spells that they knew. They also found the caves used solely for sacrificial transports, so they left them open after rescuing a herd of Unicorns that were being taken into the caves. They followed the route and found that these caves led to offshoots of the main cavern that the armies were located in, with several giant pots hanging off the ceiling filled with Humans, Unicorns, or other creatures in each pot. The guards of the area underneath these pots were all Garthim, as the other Demons would have killed off the sacrificial victims already. Mordred set about using the Imperius Curse on several Garthim, as they were extremely easy to control, and set them to attacking the other monsters used to bring in the victims. Buffy and Faith freed the victims by using Levitation spells to lower the pots down, allowing the Unicorns to guide the humans back to their homes before replacing the sacrifices with Felhounds, Mumblers, Cherubs, Boggles and other monsters they had lured using Mordred's Imperius Curse into separate pots each. They replaced the pots back on the ceiling and closed them up so that the bosses would not be able to see what was inside them until too late, and then they grudgingly left and went back to the Castle, as any fighting would draw too much suspicion to their trap.

On the Friday Dumbledore gave their small group an announcement after breakfast, one that led to both joy and grumbling.

"Dear students," he began with a slight chuckle, as his student body consisted of only four, "I have some good news for you. Due to your admirable grasp of Magical knowledge, as well as the upcoming school year, next week will be your last week of actual school work." The four students began clapping, but before they finished Dumbledore had some more news for them.

"However, we will be giving you tests," he cautioned, "to see on how much you have learned, and to help you find out where you are lacking so that when real school begins, you know what your strengths and weaknesses are."

As they left the Great Hall Dawn was quietly laughing while Buffy and Faith looked on gloomily.

"Don't you see it?" she asked, "Dumbledore's given us a full week to wipe out that army, as well as some time off of school."

"But he also gave us tests!" complained both Buffy and Faith. Dawn waved off their outraged protesting.

"Those tests don't actually _mean_ anything," replied Dawn, "they're just there to show us what we're good at and what we're not good at. It's actually a good idea, come to think of it. Besides, Mordred and I have more tests then you two do, so you shouldn't complain as much."

"Yeah, I see what you mean," conceded Buffy, "but that doesn't mean I have to like it."

That night, the four students spent their time studying over the notes that they had taken (or more precisely, the notes Dawn and Mordred had taken). They also went over plans on how to best attack the cavern of monsters, where to start and how to best attack each monster. Mordred had set up more of the Garthim to be on their side when the fighting began, and Dawn had set up the exploding snakes to be her way of fighting from afar as well as a link in case something went wrong during the battle for the others. During the weekend the Slayers, Mordred and Spike did mostly recon work during Patrols, only occasionally Slaying when they saw an opportunity to get away without raising any suspicions amongst the Demons. Spike continued to preach to the Vampires, turning away about a hundred of them from the caverns and also causing the Vampires that were already there to begin to question their part in the army as they saw less and less members coming. By the time Sunday night came to a close, they were more or less ready for both their exams, and the upcoming fight.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: As If We Didn't Have Enough To Worry About!**

On the Monday they all sat in a test for History of Magic, which Dawn and Mordred both finished off before it was half over while the Slayers both groped about their memories for details that they would have learned in class had they not both slept instead. During the break after class they studied for Charms, which was a rather good test as it dealt with the names and wand movements that they had been practicing for the past two months. During the Potions test they had to write the antidotes for the poisons listed, as well as write down the correct ingredients for eight out of eleven potions. Those potions were Forgetfulness Potion, Swelling Solution, Deflating Draught, Polyjuice Potion, Everlasting Elixir, Shrinking Solution, Aging Potion, Wit-Sharpening Potion, the Draught of Peace, Strengthening Solution, and Wolfsbane Potion. Buffy was able to write down most of the antidotes to the poisons that were on the list, but she could only do four out of the eleven potions on the list. Dawn and Faith did better, writing down all the antidotes for the poisons mentioned as well as doing the eight out of the eleven potions on the list. Mordred managed to write down all the antidotes, do all eleven of the potions, _and_ was part way through writing an essay on what the world's deadliest poison was when the test ended (this got a raised eyebrow and a look of concealed pride from Snape as they all left the room.) That night they spent their time studying for their tests the next day, before the Slayers and Mordred went out Patrolling. That night, they ran into some Bandersnatches, which attacked them using their snapping jaws. Although there weren't many of them, the Bandersnatches were extremely fast, so it took almost all night for the Slayers and Mordred to Slay them all.

On the Tuesday they had to write their Herbology test, which had the students describe three out of five plants and how to best deal with them. The five plants included Devil's Snare, Mandrakes, Abyssinian Shrivelfigs, Puffapods, and Fanged Geraniums. Buffy had an easier time with this than she did with Potions (as she didn't hate the Professor) and Dawn and Faith also did a bit better. Mordred again wrote about all five of the subjects listed, and was writing some of his ideas on how to best crossbreed some of the plants together if and where possible when Professor Sprout called for the test's end. The Transfiguration test had them write an essay on either Switching Spells, Vanishing and Conjuring Spells, or comparing Animagi to Metamorphmagi Transfiguring. Mordred was _just_ able to write all three, and only because McGonagall got to him last (he was writing the last word when she came up to him). Dawn did her essay on comparing Animagi to Metamorphmagi Magic, while Faith did hers on Switching Spells and Buffy did hers on Vanishing and Conjuring Spells. They all passed, although Mordred got chastised for doing too much when McGonagall was only marking one essay per person. During the test for Care of Magical Creatures they were given pictures of Unicorns, Nifflers, Porlocks, Kneasles, Crups and Knarls and told to label the various parts of each animal. All four students managed to get all of the animals labelled correctly, leaving them happy at the end of the school day. During Patrolling the Slayers and Mordred liberated some sleeping baby Mandrakes and cast a _Herbivicus_ spell that caused them to grow up real fast with a _Sonorus_ spell on them before planting them into the pits where the Demonic armies usually got their food from after freeing the captives there.

"If a full grown Mandrake can kill a _person_ with its screams," said Mordred proudly, "then imagine what they'll do to the Death Dogs and Felhounds there."

"No more bad doggies," said Faith in a mock pitying voice. "And I was _so_ looking forward to putting them all to sleep personally."

"Don't worry," said Buffy, "with our luck that G'Mork will be able to survive so he's at least one dog we'll have to put down permanently."

"Unless his buddies do it for him," said Mordred, "that VamPope character looked like she was just _waiting_ for her time to attack G'Mork. If he's ever down and out, she might just take the chance to put him away regardless of what the other two are doing."

The next day Dawn and Mordred had a Runes test to do (which they did exceptionally well at) while Buffy and Faith slept in. During the Defence Against the Dark Arts test they wrote about the three Unforgivable Curses and various Dark creatures including Vampires, Werewolves, Boggarts, Red Caps, and some of the creatures that they had seen in the caverns (which got a good laugh, as this subject was the closest one to their Patrolling duties there was). All four of them did quite well, with each of them going the extra mile and writing the best way to defeat the creatures if faced in combat (they used a non-lethal approach to the Werewolf situation.) During the Divination test they wrote an essay based on Fortune Telling techniques, Tea Leaf Symbols, or Astrology. Buffy and Faith did theirs on Fortune Telling, as they believed their prophetic dreams might help them with it. Dawn did hers on Astrology, as it was closely linked to their next class of Astronomy and she wanted to make it as easy on herself as she could. Mordred did all three, and even had the nerve to write that Trelawney would be 'fired from her job by an usurper from the Ministry with a toad-like appearance'. Naturally this got Trelawney angry, although she did praise him for his essays as they left her class. There was no Patrolling done that night, as the four students studied for their Astronomy test before and during dinner. During the test they were given a chart of the solar system and told to put the celestial bodies on it where they belong with the correct labelling for each planet, moon, or other object in space. The three girls got all the way just past Pluto, with Dawn being able to label all the moons on all the planets. Mordred managed to do the entire solar system, and was working outwards when the test ended. The three girls headed off to bed while Mordred went and studied for the Arithmancy test the next day.

On the Thursday Buffy and Faith were sparring in the Room of Requirement when Mordred and Dawn came back from their Arithmancy test.

"How'd it go?" asked Buffy as she ducked under a kick thrown by Faith.

"Pretty good," said Dawn as she sat down to watch the two Slayers spar, "it's like math class, only a lot more fun as it has all these Magical properties given to the numbers there."

"Good to hear," said Faith as she and Buffy disengaged from their sparring, "we were just waiting until you guys came so that we'd all be able to work out what plans we have for the upcoming fight." She then helped Buffy draw up a diagram on the chalkboard using their wands of the cavern that the army was located at.

"From what Spike has been telling us," said Buffy, "the monsters are all attacking one another. G'Mork's forces are now only a handful of Bugbears, and even then they're all deaf as posts so they'll be easy to defeat. The Death Dogs and Felhounds are all dead due to the Mandrakes we left them, the Boggles and Mumblers have mostly either been killed off or fled due to their being stomped on by bigger creatures, the regular Vampires have all left or been dusted, and the Beholders are being picked off so much that they refuse to leave the ceilings. All in all, with the injuries due to the Mandrakes and the constant infighting, we're looking at one seriously demoralized army."

"How are the bosses keeping the armies from deserting?" asked Dawn. Faith stepped up to answer.

"The Big Bads are all threatening their minions with unspeakable torture and death if they leave," she said in an unimpressed way, "seeing as they are allegedly on the verge of unveiling their 'secret weapon' very soon. So far the Garthim have been somewhat useful in keeping control, but not for long."

"Yeah, all I have to do is point," said Mordred proudly, "and I have a hundred Garthim attacking the other creatures. What about the bosses themselves? How hurt were they by the Mandrake attack?"

"Spike didn't say," said Buffy, "as the other regular Vampires were leaving he went with them so he only saw the damage done to the troops. But he did hear a rumour that both G'Mork and the VamPope were both incapacitated, while Ghend was hurt slightly. The Kakistos-rex Vampire was too busy screaming at the Ubervamps to stop biting into everything that moved to be bothered stopping the regular Vampires from leaving, but once he was done he and his Ubervamps went after the VamPope's Imps, who had taken to setting the Ubervamps on fire whenever they pleased while the Kakistos-rex was busy. The Cherubs were also mostly wiped out, but they breed like flies so it's only a matter of time before they come back."

"So, let's stick to what we know we have to fight now," said Mordred as he got up and paced, "on the small side of things there are a lot less Boggles and Mumblers to deal with, plus the fact that if any do show up there'll only be a few Cherubs now. The Beholders are now all the way at the top of the ceiling, making them harder to get at although not impossible, leaving the medium and large sized enemies to deal with. Here's where it gets interesting." He paused and went to the board, drawing up diagrams of the monsters with one of his wands as he spoke about them.

"The Ubervamps and Imps are still a decent ground force," he said, "in spite of the fact that they've taken to attacking one another openly now. That leaves the larger forces of Dread Lords and Shamblers to worry about. Remember folks, Dread Lords can fly while the Shamblers can shoot lightening at us; that makes them our number one on our 'To Kill' list."

"Ok," said Dawn, "I'll set it up that our snakes attack mainly the Imps and Ubervamps, as a few of those exploding suckers wrapped around their necks will kill them nicely enough. That leaves Mordred's controlled Garthim to go after the bigger creatures. If you can't kill them that way, use the Garthim as shields at least."

"Would we be able to use another round of Mandrakes?" asked Buffy, but Dawn shook her head.

"We've used the ones we could," she answered, "and they may be ready for something like that again. We need to keep them off balance until we're ready to attack; that way at least we can assassinate the leaders and cause a war amongst the Demons."

"We're already partway there," said Mordred, "as almost all the monsters are fighting one another outside of the caverns, with each group claiming to be better than the other. We've got to hand it to Spike, whatever he's preaching he's got them all fighting one another like there's no tomorrow."

"Yeah," said Faith, "who knew platinum-head was able to give rallying speeches so well?"

"Must have gotten it from his poetic days," suggested Buffy as they then began looking through some books to help them with ideas for the battle next week. They spent several more hours of going over various ways to close off certain caves and booby trap other caves, as well as pick out the weapons they would need for the fighting inside the caves. By the time evening came around, they had hammered out the best strategies that they could think of and were all anxious to get to the actual action. That night during Patrolling the Slayers and Mordred went around the caves rigging up explosives and other booby-traps in the areas that they intended on avoiding during the main fighting. As they left the caves, they noticed that most of the guards were Garthim, as the rest of the species were avoiding one another outright, as the hostility in the air was so thick it could be cut with a sword.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Cavern Combat**

Once the weekend came, the plans that they had all spent countless hours preparing were set in motion as the Slayers, Mordred and Spike all got ready to mount their campaign against the Demonic army. They pulled out a map that Spike had his Vampire underlings make of the caverns and outlined where to set traps and what areas to attack from with what types of weapons. Spike's Vampires all had to get weapons of their own, while Mordred used the Imperius Curse to control more and more of the Garthim in order to set up the attack. On the Friday night, the Slayers and Mordred placed a Disillusionment Charm on themselves and discreetly followed behind Spike as he went to one of the caves where most of his Vampire armies waiting. There, they found several hundred Vampires all waiting with various weapons in their grips, shuffling their feet and talking animatedly while all in Vamp-face.

"My fellow Vampires," Spike began as he mounted the highest point for all to see him, "I thank you all for coming in this most desperate hour. We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. The agenda the Demon World Order would impose on us—service to evil, ruling over Magic, the end of all humanity-" he said with a smile, "that's change, all right. But it is not the kind of change we Vampires should want or need. It is not the kind of change we can tolerate if we want to be able to stand on our own feet and be able to feed ourselves, for without humans we would not only have no food source, we would _become_ the food source for others." He stated firmly to the Vampires, who nodded in agreement.

"Who is in your face here?" Spike asked. "Who started this? Who is on the offensive? Who is pushing the envelope? The Demon World Order demands our service, yet they have given us _nothing_ in return." Spike then waved his arm around his head to indicate all the Vampire around him. "Even the _flies_ here are fed better than us. The Demon World Order has been organising their members, to agitate and campaign against us, and to overawe and dominate us with the very weapons and beliefs we have have provided them. As I look ahead," Spike continued, "I am filled with foreboding. I have seen that tragic and intractable phenomenon of final destruction which we have so worried about is coming upon us here by our own volition and our own neglect. Indeed, it has all but come, as in numerical terms, there will be more Demons than humans at the end of the year if we allow them to wipe out our food source. Only resolute and urgent action will avert it even now, but whether we have enough willpower to demand and obtain that action, I do not know. All I _do_ know is that to see, and not to act, would be the great betrayal to ourselves and to our future. The Demon World Order think that they have pacified us, that they have purchased half of us and intimidated the other half. They think that they have foreseen everything, think that they have provided against everything; but the fools, the fools, the fools!" Spike cried out, banging his fist on the stone dais in front of him, "they have left us our own army of undead, and while we still come from these graves, a free Vampire race will never be eliminated." The Vampires around him all roared in approval, shaking the very ground that they stood upon. Spike waited until the noise died down before continuing.

"We are in the initial stage of one of the greatest battles in history." Shouted Spike over the din. "That we are in action at many points — both in here as well as around the world — that we have to be prepared in the Caverns. That this battle for survival is continuous, and that many preparations have to be made here right now, I would say to you all as I said to those who have joined our movement: I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat. We have before us a Vampire Army who has gone through many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask, what is our policy?" Spike asked rhetorically before answering it himself.

"I would say it is to wage war by _any means necessary_, with all our might and with all the strength that we have; to wage war against a monstrous tyranny that is determined to wipe us out." Spike looked around himself while nodding his head. "_That_ is our policy.

"You ask, what is our aim? I can answer in one word," Spike said, pausing while the Vampires all waited on baited lack-of-breath for his answer, "Victory! Victory at all costs, Victory, however long and hard the road may be, for without victory there is no survival. If we lose the battle, then this will _not_ be because of the result of superiority or the armed advantage of the Demon World Order but mainly because of the tragic disunity in the leadership of our own Vampire legions at this time. The lack of unity and betrayal that the Demon World Order has caused amongst us will continue to follow us like an angry sun, burning us all slowly until we have nothing left. Now, we are being engaged in battles that are not just mere armed battles between races, but battles for the survival of the entire Vampire race. They cannot be won without resolve, bravery, and sacrifice, without the noble qualities that are present here in front of me." Spike said, looking over the Vampires with what looked like pride while they clapped for him and cheered him on.

"Our chief battle now concerns not just fighting against those who would use us to their own aims before wiping us out when they're done, but completely wiping them out in turn." Spike said, surprising even himself with his passion. "For this battle, we certainly need heroism, of course of a somewhat different kind," he said to chuckles from the crowd, "but that courage without which nothing serious and great can be achieved remains unchanged and remains urgently necessary. They must clearly understand that, no matter what is said or done, Vampires are, today and forever, a distinct society, that is free and able to assume the control of our own destiny and development." Spike then paused and leaned as if whispering to the crowd.

"I will tell you a secret that you mustn't repeat." He said, gaining looks of wonder from the Vampires. "Here tonight, and all along my way, I have found myself in an atmosphere just like that of the Liberation! And all along my way, moreover, I have noticed what immense effort of progress, of development, and consequently of becoming free you are accomplishing here." He paused slightly and grinned at his captive audience.

"There is a secret that you _should_ repeat, however. To those of you whom fear the rise of the Vampire Slayer, I will let you in on a little secret; there _is_ no Vampire Slayer, and there never was." This was met by gasps of disbelief from the Vampires in attendance. "The Demon World Order are merely wiping us out in small groups, and as long as we believe that they are protecting us from this alleged hero of the Light, we will forever be going to our own doom by hiding in the very furnaces they would use to burn us up with." He paused while the Vampires all muttered excitedly amongst themselves.

"Wow," whispered Faith to Buffy as they watched on in hiding, "he's _really_ good at this."

"My fellow Vampires," Spike began anew, "this stuff that some sources sling around about Vampires not wanting to fight, is a crock of bullshit. Vampires _love_ to fight, traditionally. All real Vampires love the sting and clash of battle." This met cheers and whistles from the Vampire audience. "Vampires play to win all of the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in Hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Vampires have never lost nor will ever lose a war; for the very idea of losing is hateful to a Vampire. We won't dig any foxholes, as they only slow up an offensive. We shall keep moving, and don't give the enemy time to dig one either. We'll _win_ this war, but we'll win it only by fighting and by showing those idiots that we've got more guts than they have; or ever will have. We're not going to just kill the sons-of-bitches," he said to the cheering audience, "we're going to rip out their unholy Goddamned guts and use them to grease the treads of our boots. I believe in the old and sound rule that an ounce of sweat will save a gallon of blood. The harder that _we_ push, the more we will kill. The more we kill, the fewer of our own will be killed. Now is the time for wrath! Now is the time for ruin! Now is the time to fight!!! Who is with me?"

A huge roar of applause filled the cave as the Vampires all raised their weapons high in the air and began shaking them furiously. Spike smiled at them all as he then led the march towards where the caverns that the Demon World Order was located. Buffy tapped Faith and Mordred on the arms as they watched their own Vampire army march towards its inevitable doom.

"Ready?" She asked, although she already knew the answer.

"I was _born_ ready." Replied Faith confidently.

"_I_ was born naked and screaming," quipped Mordred, "or I think I was at least."

"And if all goes according to plan," said Faith with a smile as they began flying off on their brooms, "you'll _die_ like that too."

"Well," said Buffy, "not exactly the St. Crispin's Day speech, was it?"

"We few," Mordred began, "we happy few . . ."

". . . we band of buggered." Faith completed as they mounted onto their brooms.

They flew out of the other end of the cavern, and went to one of the main cavern that the Demon World Order was planning on coming out of in it's first attack. They went about the traps that they had laid beforehand, making themselves visible so that they could see one another but only when necessary. Mordred went about his Garthim slaves, getting them all into position so that when Spike's Vampires attacked, they would be able to attack in a manner that led to fewer of their own casualties. He even made a few of the Garthim Invisible by using a Disillusionment Charm on them, so that there would be more surprises for the Demons they would fight. When they were all ready, they went in and looked over the Demon army while they waited for the Vampires to attack. Despite how depleted the Demon army was, it was still much more massive than the Vampire army Spike had, and although the monsters there looked angry at one another, they weren't fighting each other. Ghend was flying on his magic carpet, trying to get all the Demons attention. He looked like he had something important to say, but as the sacrificial pots were all being lowered into the fires he had to wait for the Demons to notice him.

"My Demon brethren," he said when the sacrifices were done, "we have confirmed our sources that we are under attack! We are being assaulted by some of our very own forces. The Vamp-" But before he could finish, he suddenly lost his voice as Mordred hit him with a Silencing Charm. The other Demons looked about in confusion as he tried to speak, but before he could undo the spell, the Garthim attacked the Ubervamps, causing the other monsters to attack them as well. The Beholders and Dread Lords all flew above the fighting crowds, but even they weren't safe as they were picked at by spells from the Slayers and Mordred, who were flying invisibly around them. After several false starts, the Demons all began attacking one another, adding to the confusion as their dead bodies dropped onto the other monsters as Spike's Vampires arrived while Ghend flew back into his hole.

Later, Buffy would take the time to recall how nothing in her entire Slayer career, not even that fateful day when Sunnydale collapsed, had prepared her for the death and destruction she saw during her time in the cavern. Spike led the charge himself, throwing himself into the fray and attacking a group of Boggles with a sword while his Vampires swarmed into the Demon crowd, attacking everything they could see. The Slayers, Spike, and Mordred tried to keep protecting each other's backs, but the sheer numbers of the monsters attacking soon separated them. Buffy looked over at Spike, Faith and Mordred.

Faith was doing well as she was one of the Slayers to have fought in a battle of this size before and it showed in her fighting method - kill fast and move on. She surveyed the carnage around her and smiled. It hadn't even been two minutes before the cavern was trashed; several of the walls had been forcefully removed to give the fighters more room. The walls that were still standing were covered in blood and grime; even the high ceiling was dirtied beyond recognition. Bodies littered the floor. Faith was relieved to see that they were all Demons.

Spike was in game face. He swung his sword around, knocking three Imps back and decapitating another all in one swing. One Boggle jumped on his back while another charged at his stomach forcing him to drop his sword, but he was helped by his Vampires, allowing him to get up and get his sword back before he went back on the offence. He was doing quite well at killing Demons while leading his Vampires against the other monsters, effectively using them as cannon fodder without being too obvious about it.

Mordred stayed in the shadows, using Garthim to do his dirty work while occasionally striking out with Blasting Curses and other spells from both of his wands while he still had a Disillusionment Spell on himself. He had holed himself up in one of the cave holes that he had cast an Imperturbable Charm on and began sniping at the monsters with no fear of reprisal as any counter attacks just bounced off of the spell he used. He also sent out smoke bombs to obscure the area, so that monsters would accidentally attack each other at first.

Buffy was dodging a Bugbear that was slicing at her with a heavy axe, which she used her sword to deflect. They clashed in midair above her head, each pushing to see who would back down the first. But just as she threw the Bugbear down, she was trapped in a circle of five Dread Lords that had come down to fight. They closed in on her, forcing her to the ground where she had no escape. But as they were busy concentrating on her, they didn't notice the Garthim sneaking up on them until one of them was chopped clean in half by one of the Garthim claws. Their attention diverted, they left Buffy to fight off the Garthim, who was able to weather their blows with its armour. Buffy then plunged her sword into one of the Dread Lords' stomachs and sliced upwards, splitting it in two. The Dread Lord fell to the floor like so many had and added his blood to the rest.

Buffy immediately moved onto the next Dread Lord. She lunged at it with her sword, but it dodged, flying into the air above her. She tried again, but once again it dove away from the blow. The Dread Lord raised its claws and lashed out intending to take off Buffy's head, but she ducked and rolled to the side. She then lashed out backwards with her sword, cutting into the side of the Dread Lord, before slashing it outwards and spilling its steaming intestines onto the floor.

Almost as if in slow motion, Buffy then spotted Faith in front of her despite the number of monsters amidst the hazy smoke. She was locked in a vicious fight with not one but two Imps, using a boulder as a shield. One of the Imps lingered back and craning her neck Buffy could see that Faith had broken its arm. Faith sent one of them flying backwards with a kick to the abdomen and gave the other's neck a quick twist. She repeated the same manoeuvre on the other Imp that was just about to stand back up and turned around. At that moment from across the room, a Shambler sent a lightening bolt that split the boulder in two, leaving Faith exposed. It quickly threw another lightening bolt at her that sent her crumbling. Charging towards her, it gave a triumphant roar.

"No!" The cry was torn from Buffy's throat. Mindlessly she ran over to Faith's side but before she'd even gone five feet she saw Faith raise herself to her feet. Before the Shambler could react, she'd pulled out a sword and was plunging it into his stomach, cutting it open with one hand and ripping out its guts with the other. Buffy made her way to Faith just as the brunette Slayer had finished off the Shambler.

"We've got to get to a better position to attack," said Buffy, "we should do what Mordred is doing and attack them from the caves around us."

"That'll take forever!" complained Faith as she went with Buffy away from the main carnage, slaying monster on their way.

"Better that than being killed in an instant!" Buffy replied as they ducked into a cave tunnel.

From there, Buffy and Faith both waited until a Shambler had it's back to her and then one would swoop in silently using Body-Bind Curses to render it momentarily helpless so the other one could dispose of it. Then they'd go back into the shadows to wait for their next victim. The whole operation only took a few seconds and the battling monsters were all too preoccupied with each other to notice them now. The only hitch was that waiting for the right moment to attack could take a while, but their way was almost the only way that was working so they had to keep it up until they'd got the numbers down a bit, even if it was frustrating.

The room was filled with the sounds of swords clashing. Spike was using his sword, but also held a crossbow in his left hand so he too could shoot the odd flying Demon. Buffy and Faith always seemed to have two or three different monsters attacking them, but they never got close enough to hurt or kill the Slayers. It didn't take long, however, for Buffy and Faith to gain the upper hand in their fights. Soon Buffy had killed three Shamblers and Faith had killed two. Buffy looked around, and joined Spike with an anxious glance at the rapidly tiring Vampire.

One of the last few Bugbears attacking Spike joined his 'ally' in fighting the blond vampire, but he soon killed them both by running them through with his sword and went to help Buffy.

"You shouldn't let the other Vampires see you fighting on our side!" Buffy hissed into Spike's ear. Spike shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly before stabbing an Imp in the back.

"I've already blown my cover," he replied, "so I may as well drop my pants and bugger it properly. We've already wiped out the Bugbears, and the Cherubs have all been squashed to a pulp on the floor. We should work on the fliers now before they try to alert the others."

The four of them then flew on their brooms into the tunnels, battling defensively against hoards of foes that could only attack one or two at a time. When they got a significant amount of them after them, each would fly through the tunnels with a screaming group of monsters after them, only to lead them into a trap. Some monsters they would lead to an area where there were exploding arrows to take out the Demons. Other areas had pits filled with flammable liquids that the Slayers, Mordred, and Spike ignited when the Demons fell into them. Other areas just had sudden drop offs, which the Slayers and Mordred flew over with their brooms while the Demons plummeted to their dooms. And in other areas the Slayers and Mordred just used Blasting Curses to collapse the tunnels on the chasing Demons, closing off sections that the Demons could not get out of while using other passages to get back to the main cavern.

When they were in the main cavern of fighting, Mordred also used Body-Bind Curses on certain monsters so that they could either be taken out by the Slayers or Spike, or trampled on by their fellow Demons. Mordred then began calling his and Dawn's exploding snakes into play, setting them on the heads and feet of various monsters so that they could be either eliminated or severely hampered in their movements. The Boggles and Mumblers were soon all crushed and wiped out, leaving only the larger monsters to battle each other. Mordred also began Conjuring up Flaming Skulls and setting them after the Dread Lords and Beholders, making the air just as lethal as the ground was. The Imps began launching fireballs into the air, striking down many of the Beholders that were attacking the Dread Lords, but the Shamblers tried to help even out the odds by shooting lightening up into the air at the Dread Lords, striking everything in the air with it and causing many crispy corpses to rain down like large chunks of bloodied ash.

After countless hours of fighting, a huge tremor ripped through the cavern, disorienting the fighting momentarily and causing the Slayers and Mordred to fly away into a literal 'cloud' of Dread Lords, Beholders and Flaming Skulls that had filled the top of the chamber. They looked over and saw that the tunnel leading to the lair of the four bosses was shimmering with translucent light, as if there was a fire right behind it.

"Looks like the Big Bads are getting ready regardless of what their cannon fodder are doing." Said Faith as she blasted a Beholder that got too close to her.

"They must be getting desperate," said Buffy after she chopped off a Dread Lord's wings off and sent him screaming into the masses of monsters below, who had resumed fighting one another. "They know their armies are falling apart, so now they're trying to call up their Balroglords to replace their army with."

"Let's go crash their party," suggested Mordred, as Buffy led the way towards the hole. They battled their way through the flying creatures that attacked them in the air, dodging and diving until they reached the hole that led to the bosses' chambers.

When they entered, they felt the raw energy pouring forth from a large dark blot that was on a pedestal in the center of the room. Surrounding it were the four bosses, each one holding onto a black crystal that shot energy into the blot, causing it to grow bigger and bigger. The ebony blot caused the air around it to shimmer as it grew, causing the light around it to die and turn into darkness as they fed power into it. G'Mork saw the three intruders, but since he had his crystal in his mouth he couldn't cry out a warning as Buffy calmly walked over, grabbed up the VamPopes cat, and threw it into the blot they were creating. The VamPope had time to give one scream before she was staked by Buffy, turning her into dust and causing her crystal to shatter on the floor. Their spell broken, the other three bosses threw their crystals into the blot as they were no longer working and got ready to fight. Ghend snapped his fingers, instantly covering himself in armour made out of fire, with a sword made out of lightening. As he walked towards the three intruders, he left footprints of fire in his wake. The Kakistos-rex grabbed up an ugly looking scythe made of bone and sinew, with drops of blood coming off of its tips, and came at them from the opposite way that Ghend was going. G'Mork went into the shadows so that he could ambush them in case they got the better of his two mates, but before he could Mordred spotted him and sent out a spell.

"_Incendio_!" Cried out Mordred, shooting fire from his wand that covered G'Mork and sent him yelping all over the room with his fur aflame. Mordred then turned his attention to Ghend, using water and ice based spells while the two Slayers attacked the Kakistos-rex.

"You seem very sure of yourself, you little mortal bastards," snarled the Kakistos-rex as he advanced on the two Slayers, "so I'll tell you what: If you can tell me why your ordinary, piss-boring lifes are better than mine, you can walk out of here alive. If you can't, I'll eat your throats and drink my fill and leave you both half alive forever."

"Easy," replied Faith. "Can you go for a walk in the park and hear the birds sing in the morning? Can you kiss a guy, or a girl if that's your preference, and know that you're wanted? Can you go out and get drunk with your friends? We can." Faith said defiantly as she walked to one side of the Kakistos-rex.

"And just so we're sure who's better off," added Buffy as she stalked to the other side of the Kakistos-rex, "why don't we sit outside together and watch the sun come up in an hour or so?"

The Kakistos-rex roared and swept his bone scythe at them, which they dodged under and struck back under his arms. But because of his armour that covered him from head to toe, the Kakistos-rex was able to deflect every blow that the two Slayers hit him with. Meanwhile, Mordred was having a problem with Ghend, who was blasting at him with his lightening sword while deflecting most of Mordred's spells. Mordred had tried using water to extinguish Ghend's armour, but was hit with an electric shock when his water touched Ghend's blade. Mordred spent most of his time just dodging Ghend's attacks, trying to figure out the correct type of spells to use before he was fried. But before he could get a bead on Ghend, a flaming G'Mork leapt at him, forcing him to have to go into a roll to avoid the vicious beast. Ghend was able to take a swing at Mordred with his lightening sword, but instead of hitting Mordred it hit G'Mork instead, as Mordred had ducked down while the giant wolf-like monster took a snap at his back. G'Mork howled in pain and fury, as Mordred dove off to the side and began focusing his spells against the still-smouldering monster. Despite the pain that G'Mork was in, the beast followed after Mordred like a hound on a trail of fresh blood, weathering all the spells that Mordred could throw at him, as the beast got ever closer to its quarry.

But before G'Mork could take a fatal bite at Mordred, the chamber was suddenly filled with bright sunlight, as the two Slayers used their wands to make a large ball of sunshine. The Kakistos-rex screamed in pain and rage, dropping his bone scythe as he burst into flames. He ran towards the blot in the center of the room and threw himself into it before he turned into dust, causing it to go a bit bigger than it was before.

"You fools," said Ghend triumphantly from one side of the room, "the harder you fight against us, the stronger we become. All we have to do is sacrifice any of you three into the Void, and the first of the Balroglords will be unleashed." His laughter was joined by G'Mork's', who was now licking its snout with its oversized tongue as its body still smoked.

"You should all just give up," said G'Mork, "walk towards the Void, and everything will be all over. We'll might not even attack you if you go quietly."

The two Slayers shook their heads, but Mordred raised an arm.

"Ok," he said, stunning his two companions, "it's not like I had much of a life to begin with anyways."

"No!" Yelled both the Slayers, who were surprised by Mordred's sudden surrender.

"Hey," he said to them as he walked towards the blot, "it's my choice. You two can make your own choices if you want to."

"You coward!" Shot Buffy, but before she could say anything else Ghend attacked her, striking at her with his lightening sword. She dove off to the side as the energy from the sword hit the wall behind her, spraying the air with white-hot chips of broken stone. G'Mork lunged at Faith, forcing her to use a hit and run strategy against the great beast. She waited until G'Mork would strike at her, then she would dodge past its claws and teeth to strike out with her sword, cutting into G'Mork's thick hide. But for every blow she would land, none were fatal, and they only served to enrage the beast even further.

Meanwhile, Ghend managed to grab Buffy, burning her shoulder with his fiery gloves before throwing her to the ground, knocking her weapon out of her hands. She watched as he raised his sword made out of lightening up, but just before he could strike at her Ghend was hit with a flying boulder from behind, knocking him over Buffy. Since Buffy was already down on her hands and knees on the ground and in pain, Ghend's knees hit her as he lost balance and went head first towards the blot in the center of the room, which had been growing bigger as the fight went on.

"Not _again_!!!" Ghend screamed as he tried to grab for purchase to no avail as he went skidding into the blot, which swallowed him up whole, as it grew even bigger.

Buffy rolled to the side to see Mordred offering her a hand up, which she accepted, before the two of them went to help Faith. G'Mork had stopped randomly biting at Faith and was now just pacing around her, but its green eyes flamed up in fury when it noticed the others were now after it as well.

"It seems you have taken out my partners," G'Mork said with a growl, "but you can't take me out _that_ easily. I've been a servant to the Nothing for all my time, so even Death itself has no hold over me. Whether I kill and eat all three of you, throw you into the Nothing or go there myself, the end result is all the same. The Balroglords will come, and the Nothing's powers will be unleashed over this world as it has been on many other worlds before this."

"Well then," drawled a voice from the entrance of the room, "you won't mind giving a few angry Vampires a ride on your back, now will you?"

The others looked to see Spike as several Vampires ran towards G'Mork, jumping on the surprised monster's back and began sinking their teeth into it as the beast thrashed about in rage. Spike advanced boldly, as he and the Slayers began stirking at the Vamp-covered beast whenever they got an opening with their swords. Although it was tiring work, they were managing to get in deeper and deeper strikes with their swords, as G'Mork was busy trying to rid itself of the Vampires that were covering it. Finally, Buffy sank her sword all the way through G'Mork's stomach, causing the beast to go stiff and roar in pain. Before the others could capitalize, G'Mork used a final burst of energy to charge with the Vampires still clinging to it into the blot that was filling up the room. When the beast went into it, the blot shrank down and disappeared, causing the others to look around in wonder.

"Is that it?" asked Faith, but before anyone could reply there was a sudden rumbling throughout the cavern.

"Spoke too soon," said Buffy as they went out to the main cavern to see what was happening. The fighting had stopped as a large fire had exploded from the sacrificial pits over the Demonic army below, burning many and scaring the others away from it.

What it was could not be seen: it was like a great shadow, in the middle of which was a dark form that was half as large as the cavern itself and covered in flames and smoke. It appeared to be a huge skeleton of some unknown beast, with flesh made of fire and smoke, and skin made of shadows with veins of lava running throughout it. It stood on its four massive elephant-like legs, with limbs covered in raging fire ending in cloven hooves made of red steel that burned the very ground it stood on as it pawed at it. Behind it a long thick tail made of bone waved in the air, ending in a cruel-looking mace made of metal and covered in ichor-dripping spikes. It drew itself up to a great height, and its bone wings were spread from wall to wall with smoke filled in where there should have been skin. It had four large arms, muscled with fire and carrying various weapons in their clawed hands. It had a sword made of lightening like the one Ghend had, a bone scalpel that was the size of a scythe, a whip made out of fire that crackled as it swung through the air as though of its own accord, and a large double-headed Battle Axe made out of molten iron. Its body was covered in flames and smoke, and in the middle of its top shoulders was a neck-less head with large bone tusks coming out of its mouth that hooked around back towards the head. Its face looked lifeless except for the glowing red eyes, and on top of its head was a 'crown' of green flames that burned independently of the rest of the flames on it. It opened its mouth and gave a great roar of fury that shook the cavern, before stamping one of its huge cloven hooves onto a group of monsters, instantly crushing them and burning them to ash. It swiped its flame-whip in the air, catching several Beholders in it and burning them to crisps as the whip lashed through the air. It then raised its lightening sword and blasted the Dread Lords out of the air, cutting a huge hole in the ceiling in the process. It then charged at the rest of the monsters that were on the ground, striking out with weapons, tail, or just stomping them all flat as it crashed through the cavern walls.

"It's gonna cave in!" yelled Buffy as the four of them flew on their brooms, "Let's get outta here now!"

The four of them flew past the raging Balroglord as it smashed the final group of Garthim as if they were small glass figurines; racing into one of the tunnels they knew was the way out. The noise grew louder as they flew faster, dodging falling stone and diving through twists and turns before they finally made it back outside to a brightening morning. Spike had to flee the coming sunlight, but before he could duck into a cave the ground erupted in flames as the Balroglord smashed its way through the ground and into the open world. The Slayers, Mordred and Spike (who was using the very shadows and smoke that helped make up the Balroglord to hide from the sun) all turned their wands on the creature.

"_Aguamenti!_" they all cried, spraying the creature with water.

However, the streams of water that they used were too small to put out the flames of the Balroglord, who attacked the flying pests with its weapons. As it swung its lightening sword, clouds began to cover the sky, allowing Spike a bit more freedom of movement as the sun was blotted out. The four flyers darted in and around the huge Balroglord, dosing it with water from their wands and hitting it with ice spells that barely put out some of its flames. They goaded it up the mountain, with Mordred nailing it with lightening spells that enraged it while the Slayers hit it with ice spells in its eyes and Spike yelled taunts at it, causing it to blunder blindly forward as it charged up the mountain. There, they tried using spells to cut off its wings, but to no avail, as the bones were too hard to break through. They spent the entire day blasting at it, trying in vain to trip it up and send it tumbling down into the waters below. Mordred flew behind the beast's head, and pointed one of his wands at where the Balroglord's wings formed together.

"_Conglacio Accendo_!" he called out, blasting the fiery membrane holding the wings together. This caused the flames on its wings to burn out, as the freezing spell spread slowly outwards. Buffy and Faith dove at the now flameless wings, smashing into them and knocking them off to shatter into pieces. The Balroglord roared in pain and fury as it tried to knock the flying Slayers out of the air with its tail, but they were too quick for it and they flew away to regroup with Mordred and Spike.

"We've got to push it back into the water," said Buffy, "it's our only chance to destroy it."

They began hitting it with more ice and water spells, but the Balroglord was more prepared this time, as it sat its haunches down into the ground and refused to budge from its spot. After countless hours of fighting, the Scoobies were exhausted, they had hit the Balroglord with everything that they thought they had and the beast still wouldn't budge. The four of them were about to charge the beast and sacrifice themselves in an attempt to push it over the edge using raw strength when suddenly a silvery-white bird flew through the air towards the Balroglord, causing it to scream in pain and fear as it reared up on its hind legs. Mordred cried out in pain as well, diving upwards as the Slayers and Spike looked back to see Dumbledore standing with his wand out, pouring forth light in shimmering waves at the Balroglord. Next to him stood Dawn, who also had her wand out.

"_Expecto Patronum_!" She cried out, sending out her faint version of a Patronus to join Dumbledore's in fighting the Balroglord. Buffy and Faith then got the idea and tried to use Patronuses of their own on the Balroglord along with a Sunshine Spell. Although they were merely flickers of light, they managed to knock away some of the shadows that made up part of it and pushing it further until it fell, screeching, into the water below. There, many Merpeople and other sea creatures attacked it as they attempted to drag it down into the depths of the lake. The last they saw of it, the Balroglord had begun turning into muddy ash and was falling apart before suddenly exploding, causing the water to burst into steam before settling back down.

"Cool," said Dawn as she went up to the four others on her broom, "Dumbledore's Navy takes down the Big Bad!"

"Hey, we did most of the fighting," said a smoke-covered Mordred as he flew back to the others, "we're the ones who cut off its wings and got it into position for you two to finish off."

"True," conceded Dawn, "but you're lucky it wasn't even _close_ to full strength, or else we'd be the ones who would have been turned to dust. Speaking of which, Spike, you better get back to the Chamber of Secrets before daybreak comes. The rest of you better get to bed, it's been a very long fight."

"How long have we been fighting for?" asked a weary Buffy as Dawn led her, Faith and Mordred back to the Castle while Spike took an alternate route.

"Since Friday," replied Dawn, "and today is now Monday. You guys have been fighting for a full sixty hours or so straight. You need rest and food and now."

"Wow," said a dazed Faith as Buffy widened her eyes in shock, "time really _does_ fly when you're having fun."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: War is Hell, But School may be Worse**

No sooner had the Slayers gotten back to their beds than they fell asleep in the clothes they were still wearing. When they got up, they got dressed and went to the Great Hall, where they found Mordred and Dawn eating a breakfast.

"Morning sleepy heads," said Dawn, "you should be so greatful that we didn't have school this week, or else you'd of missed a day already."

"It's Tuesday already?" asked a surprised Buffy, "we slept for an entire day?"

"Yeah," replied Dawn as she ate part of a pancake, "you guys hungry?"

"Famished," replied both Slayers, tearing into the food before them with gusto. Since neither had eaten since Friday, they were starving, so Dawn filled them in while they were gorging themselves on food.

"Some Aurors came by after the fight," said Dawn, "but Dumbledore managed to smooth things over by claiming it was just a Demon who had to be driven into the water below. He then sent Spike off during the night to help out Hagrid, so we won't see him until Hagrid comes back sometime in November. Oh," she said suddenly, almost spilling her drink, "we've got our timetables for school this year. Here they are."

She gave them her list, and after taking another forkful of her pancake she read off it in case they didn't understand what it meant.

"We've got History on Monday mornings, followed by a break," said Dawn excitedly, "then we have Double Potions, followed by lunch, then us girls have Divination while Mordred has Ancient Runes, then we have Double Defence Against the Dark Arts, which is what DADA means," she added as an aside, "and then dinner. On Tuesday we all start with Double Charms, followed by a break, then Double Transfiguration, lunch, then Care of Magical Creatures, -"

"COMC." Interrupted Mordred, after he had wolfed down an entire plate load of waffles, "not comics. We don't have any courses dealing with Marvel or DC superheroes, unfortunately."

"And then Herbology," said Dawn, "and then dinner. On Wednesdays, us girls have Divination again while Mordred has Arithmancy, then Transfiguration after a break and Double Herbology after lunch. Then we have COMC again, then dinner and then Astronomy. Us girls have only Potions on Thursdays, but Mordred has Double Divination class after lunch on Thursdays, and a Muggle studies class right after that."

"You're really booked this semester Mordy," said Faith between bites of food, "how do you plan to do it all?"

"I don't need to sleep," replied Mordred, "so doing homework will be easy. And I figure the more time I'm working at school stuff, the less time I can get in trouble, although I plan on doing that too, along with Quidditch."

"What position do you plan on going for?" asked Buffy curiously.

"I'm thinking Keeper," replied Mordred, "as I am pretty good at flying right now, all I have to train for is catching one ball while dodging the others."

"Hey," Buffy asked suddenly, "what does the book say Harry is doing now?"

"Let me check," Dawn said as she pulled out the book and skimmed through it, "it's in 'The Woes of Mrs. Weasley' in Chapter Nine. Here, Ron and Hermione become Prefects, Mrs. Weasley's Boggart is revealed, and the booklists come in the mail. We should be getting our books as well."

No sooner had she spoken, than four owls carrying bags filled with books flew through the air and dropped them off at the table for the four students, along with notes for the Slayers and Mordred for their nightly Patrolling duties.

"Ask," said Mordred after swallowing some food whole without even chewing, "and we shall receive. At least know we know what we're getting."

He then grabbed up a dozen sausages with his hands and stuffed them into his mouth, adding more until his jaws were stretched wide enough to make a crocodile choke, then he swallowed them all whole while the others looked over their books. They finished off their breakfasts and read over some of their books. When Buffy and Faith's Monster Books of Monsters dove off the table and began biting at everything they could, Mordred and Dawn only sat back and laughed while the Slayers tried to capture their books without destroying them. After the two Slayers had captured and bound their Monster Books, the four of them then began researching the history of the Death Eaters so as to gain a better plan of attack against them.

"It says here that their original name was the Knights of Walpurgis," stated Dawn while reading from one of the books, "but it was dropped in favour of the name 'Death Eaters' as it was thought to be an easy name to say and remember, therefore making it an easier thing to fear. That kinda makes sense, as the words 'Death Eater' has a better ring to it than 'Knight of Walpurgis'."

They then spent rest of the day, as well as the final four days of the week practicing spells in the Room of Requirement, Patrolling the forest (minus Dawn), practicing fighting techniques, and generally getting ready for school to begin. By the time Sunday arrived, they believed that they would be ready for whatever was to come their way, as Mordred had copied everything from the Half-Blood Prince's book before giving it back to Snape. They also noticed that Slytherin already had about a hundred points in its hourglass, due to Snape liking the idea the Triumvirate had of putting the Basilisk's head in their Common Room. On the Thursday McGonagall complained a bit about the extra points as school had not begun yet, but Snape brushed it off as he reminded her that he never took points off of Harry before school began despite all the hijinks he pulled.

The rest of the week played out with the Slayers and Mordred eating like crazy when they were in the Castle, Patrolling every night to take out whatever stragglers were still going around the caves, and helping Dumbledore clean up the mess that the Balroglord had made when it burst out of the ground. By the time Saturday night came around, they were too tired to go party one last time so they just had a large meal after Patrolling before the girls went to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: New Things for Everyone**

"They're almost here!" Dawn said in an excited squeak that Sunday evening. She was bouncing on her feet while Faith was pacing back and forth. Mordred was even worse, as he was tapping away on everything with his wands like they were drumsticks. Buffy was the only one who was able to stay in one place, but even she could not deny the excitement that she was feeling for the upcoming school year.

"There's the carriages now!" Dawn piped cheerfully. "Can you see them?"

"Do you think we should get to our tables now?" asked Buffy smartly, "or should we greet them at the door like a hostess or something? And would you STOP that!" she yelled at Mordred, causing him to retract his wands with a sheepish grin full of pointy teeth.

Dawn ignored her while Faith began cooing at Mrs. Norris, who had come in to investigate the four students. The cat yowled at Faith, getting ready to run off to Filch, but before it could move Mordred rushed over and punted Mrs. Norris like a football through a window.

"GOOOOAAAALLLLLL!" He bellowed, raising his arms in victory as the cat fell down to smack one of the carriages. Faith punched him in the gut as hard as she could, dropping him to his knees.

"You _bastard_, what'd the kitty ever do to you?" Faith demanded as her voice filled with outrage. Mordred got up off the ground, chuckling through his wheezes.

"Ah, come on, _that_ was funny." He said, before waving one of his wands and fixing the glass with a spell. He was just in time too, as Filch came in looking for his cat. After the caretaker left, the four students each went to their House tables to wait for the other students to arrive.

Soon enough, various students were filling up the four long House tables. Buffy had stayed standing up, so that she could sit near enough to Harry and his friends without being too obvious in trying to get close to him. The "Slytherin Triumvirate" as they dubbed themselves, had just sat down in the middle of their House's table, just daring anyone to sit next to them. Sure enough, Malfoy and his friends Crabbe and Goyle sat across from them.

Buffy found the Golden Trio along with Neville, and she sat down where she'd be able to talk with them without shouting over a din. She was stared at by some of the others, but was ignored by the Trio themselves, who were in deep conversation.

"Maybe he's not back yet." Said the black haired, scar-headed boy Buffy took to be Harry to his friends in a conspiratorial whisper, which Buffy could hear clearly with her Slayer-enhanced hearing. "You know, from his mission, the thing he was doing for Dumbledore over the summer."

"Who's that?" Said the bushy, brown haired girl that Dawn told Buffy was Hermione.

Buffy was about to answer, but then realized Hermione was pointing over her head towards the middle of the staff table. Buffy looked over and saw one of the most hideous women she had ever seen in her life, including Demons. The woman looked like a failed cross between a toad and a warthog, with a fluffy pink cardigan over her robes that matched the horrible pink band that was placed on her mouse-brown hair. _Ugh, what on Earth was that woman __**thinking**__ when she left home today?_ Buffy thought. _Does she even __**own**__ a mirror?_ Her thoughts were interrupted when Harry began speaking.

"It's that Umbridge woman!" Said Harry, surprised.

"Who?" Asked Hermione.

"She was at my hearing," answered Harry, "she works for Fudge!"

"She works for Fudge! What on earth is she doing here?" Asked Hermione before her eyes went round. "No, no, surely not . ."

Buffy remembered what Dawn had told her about Umbridge, and was about to start talking to the Trio when she was asked who she was by someone else.

"I'm Buffy Summers," she said to the nervous looking boy, who was holding onto a pet toad. "Who are you?"

"Oh um, I'm Neville Longbottom." He replied in a small voice. "This here is my toad Trevor. Is it true you're from America?"

"You betcha, born and raised in sunny California." Answered Buffy, who had taken a liking to Neville despite his sheepish mannerisms. She then turned to the redheaded twins who were staring at her. "Ok, which one of you two is the evil twin?"

"He is!" they both said pointing at one another, grinning. Buffy gave a big fake pout before saying, "I _like_ evil twins . . ."

"I am!" Both twins proclaimed, getting a laugh from their fellow Gryffindors before their younger brother spoke up.

"So you're American?" Ron asked.

"Gee, you could tell?" Buffy asked sarcastically.

"Accent." Ron replied evenly.

"Hey," protested Buffy. "You're the one with the accent Mr. England."

"Hear that mates," Ron said braggingly to his friends, "she thinks I'm good enough for a Mr. England pageant for the Daily Prophet."

Buffy was about to continue when there was a sudden hush over the Great Hall. Everyone looked towards the Sorting Hat, where it was sitting on a stool.

The whole school waited with on edge. And then all of a sudden, the Hat began to sing:

"_In times of old, when I was new,  
And Hogwarts barely started,  
The founders of our noble school  
Thought never to be parted.  
United by a common goal,  
They had the selfsame yearning  
To make the world's best Magic school  
And pass along their learning.  
'Together we will build and teach',  
The four good friends decided.  
And never did they dream that they  
Might some day be divided.  
For were there such friends anywhere  
As Slytherin and Gryffindor?  
Unless it was the second pair  
Of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw,  
So how could it have gone so wrong?  
How could such friendships fail?  
Why, I was there, so I can tell  
The whole sad, sorry tale.  
Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those  
Whose ancestry's purest."  
Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose  
Intelligence is surest"  
Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those  
With brave deeds to their name."  
Said Hufflepuff, "I'll teach the lot  
And treat them just the same."  
These differences caused little strife  
When first they came to light.  
For each of the four founders had  
A House in which they might  
Take only those they wanted, so,  
For instance, Slytherin  
Took only pureblood Wizards  
Of great cunning just like him.  
And only those of sharpest mind  
Were taught by Ravenclaw  
While the bravest and the boldest  
Went to daring Gryffindor.  
Good Hufflepuff, she took the rest  
And taught them all she knew,  
Thus, the Houses and their founders  
Maintained friendships firm and true.  
So Hogwarts worked in harmony  
For several happy years,  
But then discord crept among us  
Feeding on our faults and fears.  
The Houses that, like pillars four  
Had once held up our school  
Now turned upon each other and  
Divided, sought to rule.  
And for a while it seemed the school  
Must meet an early end.  
What with duelling and with fighting  
And the clash of friend on friend.  
And at last there came a morning  
When old Slytherin departed  
And though the fighting then died out  
He left us quite downhearted.  
And never since the founders four  
Were whittled down to three  
Have the Houses been united  
As they once were meant to be.  
And now the Sorting Hat is here  
And you all know the score:  
I sort you into Houses  
because that is what I'm for.  
But this year I'll go further,  
Listen closely to my song:  
Though condemned I am to split you  
Still I worry that it's wrong,  
Though I must fulfill my duty  
And must quarter every year  
Still I wonder whether sorting  
May not bring the end I fear.  
Oh, know the perils, read the signs,  
The warning history shows,  
For our Hogwarts is in danger  
From external, deadly foes  
And we must unite inside her  
Or we'll crumble from within  
I have told you, I have warned you...  
Let the Sorting now begin."_

The Hat went still, and the students all cheered, however they did so with some worried muttering and whispering.

"Branched out a bit this year, hasn't it?" Asked the redheaded boy before looking at Buffy and doing a double take. He then held out his hand in a nervous manner. "Hi, my rame is Non . . . I mean, hi, my name is Ron Weasley, what's yours?"

"Well hello, my name is Buffy Summers." Buffy said, shaking Ron's hand. Hermione glared at Ron for a moment, before extending her own hand.

"I'm Hermione Granger." Buffy took her hand and shook it. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you as well," Buffy said before playfully asking, "is this your boyfriend?" while gesturing at Ron.

Both of them went a slight shade of red, while blubbering that they were not, in fact, dating. Harry came to their rescue.

"We're all just friends." He supplied, before holding out his hand. "I'm Harry Potter."

"Nice to meet you." Buffy said. She was interrupted by a poke from Neville, who was pointing to Professor McGonagall, who had managed to stop the other whispering students with a scorching look. She then began to read out the names of First Year students, who had to go up in front of the school and put on the Sorting Hat to be sorted into their Houses.

"Wow, I had a hard enough time putting the Hat on in front of my friends, let a-" Buffy began before being shushed by Hermione. She then waited until the Sorting was over and done, which took a long time. Finally, the last person was Sorted and Dumbledore rose to his feet while McGonagall took the Hat off the stool.

"To our newcomers," said Dumbledore in a ringing voice, a beaming smile on his lips and his arms stretched out wide, "welcome! To our old hands, welcome back! There is a time for speech making, but this is not it. Tuck in!"

With that, the audience cheered as the tables all filed up with food. Ron began stuffing his face full of food, while the other two began talking with Buffy while also eating.

"Does the Hat always give warnings like that?" Asked Buffy. The others shrugged their shoulders, but Nick, the Nearly-Headless Ghost, came in and answered.

"Oh yes," he said, gliding between Buffy and Neville, "I have heard the Hat give advice whenever there has been a perceived threat to the school. The advice is always the same: stand together and be strong from within. A united school is needed to fight against any enemies we encounter."

"Ow kunnit nofe skusin danger ifzat?" asked Ron, with his mouth so full of food that it was quite an achievement for him to make any noise at all. He swallowed while Hermione looked away disgustedly before asking again. "How does it know the school is in danger if it's a Hat?"

"It's a talking Hat that can read minds," answered Buffy, "I'm sure it's bound to pick up information, especially since it's in the Principal's office."

"The who's office?" Asked Ron curiously.

"Principal Rumblecore." Buffy replied.

Harry gagged on his food, laughing at the new girl's mispronunciation of the Headmaster's name. Hermione ended up having to explain things to both Ron and Buffy.

"A Principal is an American Headmaster." Hermione said, her mouth twitching slightly. "And his name is Dumbledore."

"Ok, sorry." Buffy said chastised. Harry tried to change the subject.

"The Hat wants all the Houses to be friends?" he said while looking over at Slytherin. "Fat chance."

"Didn't your other three friends end up in Slytherin?" Asked Hermione curiously, while Ron looked on in interest while shovelling food into his mouth.

"Yes," replied Buffy, "my sister Dawn, and my two . . . cousins, Mordred and Faith are all in Slither thing." Ron spat out his food, spraying both Hermione and Harry.

"Your family is in Slytherin?" He asked in shock, while Hermione scowled at him darkly. He was about to say something else when she kicked him in the shin, causing him to spit up more food that he was chewing. Harry decided, that since Ron's behaviour wasn't putting Buffy off, then a few questions wouldn't either.

"I hate to be rude," he began, "but which two out of the four of you are Parselmouths?"

"Parsel-? Oh yeah, talk to snakes." Remembered Buffy out loud. She pointed over to the Slytherin table. "My sister Dawn – that's the light brown haired girl, and my 'cousin' Mordred both can talk to snakes."

They all looked over, and saw Faith and Dawn talking together while Mordred was swallowing an entire loaf of bread packed with various items whole. Even the other Slytherins, some whose table manners were quite atrocious at times, were watching on in wonder and horror as Mordred opened up his mouth to a near impossible width, his jaw making loud cracking noises. When it was all the way open he slowly but surely shoved a huge sandwich with various things ranging from meats to vegetables to sweets on it down his throat. It was like watching a python swallowing a warthog whole; it was that disturbing. Hermione look on and gagged, while the boys just stared in awe.

"Wow, and I thought _you_ had terrible table manners." Harry said to Ron, who only grunted.

Meanwhile, at the Slytherin table, Mordred finished off his sandwich and then drained a nearby pitcher of pumpkin juice.

"You've got quite an appetite," said Draco from across from him, "you going to leave any for us?"

"_Do you speak Parselmouth?_" Asked Mordred, staring at Draco. Draco gave him a look of total confusion, and Mordred repeated the question to some of the others. Dawn broke in.

"Harry's the only one who speaks Parselmouth." She said, pointing over to the Gryffindor table. "He's the one with the scar."

Mordred looked over to where Dawn was pointing, seeing a waving Buffy. Dawn waved back at her only to get scowled at by Draco.

"Sorry to see your sister's a blood traitor." Said Draco meanly while Mordred stuffed some more food, this time an entire ham, down his throat. "Not everyone who's Pure-blooded acts the way they should. Some of them even associate with Mud-Bloods and Half bloods."

"_We're_ Muggle born." Said Faith challengingly, while Dawn glared at Draco. Before Draco could reply, Mordred reached over and grabbed up an entire spotted dick, which he then swallowed whole in the same fashion as he had the sandwich. Draco and his friends began grabbing up food items before they were all gone. When Crabbe made the mistake of grabbing a treacle tart Mordred had grabbed, Mordred looked at him and snarled very loudly, causing Crabbe to slink his hand back in fear.

When the rest of the students had filled up and began talking mostly, Dumbledore got to his feet. Everyone except Mordred, who was still pounding back as much food as he could possibly swallow, stopped what they were doing and listened to what the Headmaster had to say.

"Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start-of-term-notices." Said Dumbledore. "First Year students ought to know that the Forest is out-of-bounds to students, with the new exception of three of the four new foreign students," the other students looked at Buffy and the Slytherin Triumvirate, "due to religious reasons of their own. I would like for you to not ask them about it, as it is between them and their faith, not anyone else." Dumbledore shifted into a more light-hearted tone.

"Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me to remind you all that Magic is not permitted in the hallways, along with a good many other things that are all to be found on his list on his doorway. Also, we are very pleased to invite back Professor Grubby-Plank, who will be teaching Care of Magical Creatures, and we are also delighted to invite Professor Umbridge, our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher."

He tried to continue, but Umbridge, who addressed the school as if they were all infants, interrupted him. Buffy tried to pay attention, but after five minutes of Umbridge's speech she almost fell asleep. Hermione was the only one of her table that paid attention, and she got angrier with every second as she listened to Umbridge's speech. By the time Umbridge was done, most of the school was chattering animatedly with one another while some students looked as if they'd fallen asleep (Mordred was still busy eating as if he'd never seen food before in his life).

"Well, that was illuminating." Said Hermione in a low voice. Ron and Harry looked on in surprise, but Buffy beat them to the punch by answering their questions before they asked them.

"She means to say that the new teacher is the Ministry's way of keeping tabs on the school." Said Buffy. "She's a Gestapo agent for Fudge so that we can all be seen goose-stepping to the same beat."

When Ron looked on in confusion, Hermione decided to make it easier for him.

"What she means," she said through gritted teeth, "is that the Ministry's _interfering_ at Hogwarts."

"Yeah, one thing I do remember her saying is that the O.W.L. year students will all be sharing every class with the same groups," said Harry, "so it'll be just our luck to get stuck with Slytherin for not only Potions, but every class they take."

"Not every class." Hermione said. "Just the main ones, I'm sure our electives will be have different classes depending on how many students take them. We could have up to all four Houses in one class if it's small -"

Before she could finish, the school was dismissed and everyone started standing up ready to leave the Hall. Hermione jumped up, looking flustered.

"Ron, we're supposed to show the First Years where to go!" She said to Ron.

"Oh yeah," said Ron, who had obviously forgotten. He then pointed at the first years and shouted. "Hey you lot! Midgets!"

"_Ron!_" Hermione hissed, while Buffy burst out laughing.

"Well they are, they're titchy . . ." Ron countered while Buffy was still laughing. They all got up and tried to get everyone together, but Buffy saw Harry going off by himself, so she followed him. He made it to the Fat Lady's Portrait, but didn't know the password.

"_Mimbulus mimbletonia_." Supplied Buffy, getting the portrait to open up. They both went inside, where Harry went up to his dorm without saying a word to Buffy. Buffy went up to her dorm and waited for the other girls to show up. When Hermione showed up Buffy waved her over to show her the note she had from Dumbledore regarding her nightly patrols. Hermione almost asked what it was for, but then remembered Dumbledore's pleas not to do so, so she kept her questions to herself.

Meanwhile, in the Slytherin Common Room, things were a bit more heated between the Housemates.

"So, it's true then?" Draco said in a snarling voice. "A bunch of filthy Mud-Bloods has finally clawed their way into Slytherin. The Hat must be off its rocker." Dawn rolled her eyes while Mordred and Faith stared at him.

"Actually, you're wrong there, Spike-Alike." She retorted to Draco, making his face contort into an extremely distasteful grimace. "My blood was red the last time I checked it, and I don't recall there being any mud."

"Don't you dare call me that!" he roared. "If you must call me anything it will be Master Malfoy, as that is the way to respect your superiors."

"Master? Superior? Puh-leese!" Dawn countered while casually cleaning under her fingernails, determined to show him that she was better than him. "The only thing you would be superior to me in would be peeing standing up, and even then, you'd need a magnifying glass for that."

Draco's jaw dropped in complete shock, while Faith and Mordred both burst out laughing. Draco closed his mouth and glared at them before responding.

"You'll do what I say because I'm the boss!" Draco roared, causing Faith and Mordred to laugh even harder. Dawn went over to him and patted him on the head.

"You know," she said, "you're kinda cute when you're delusional. But not _that_ cute."

The others laughed as Pansy Parkinson came up the stairs from the girls' dorm.

"Stop laughing at him!" Screamed Pansy, as she was just as shocked as Draco was.

"Why don't you shut up?" Said Faith menacingly.

"What did you say?" Asked Pansy.

"Oh sorry, sorry," Faith said while taking out her wand. "I said 'why don't you -,'" she put her wand to her throat and amplified her voice with a _Sonorous_ spell, "SHUT UP YOU STUPID SOW BEFORE I RIP YOUR FACE OFF!!!" When Crabbe walked up behind Faith after she took her wand off her throat she just merely motioned to him.

"Try it ugly, and I'm gonna do some reconstructive rectal surgery on yah and liberate your brain from your ass with my foot." She said without even looking at him. Goyle tried to grab Mordred, who then gestured with his wand. Suddenly, Goyle was floating in the air, clutching at his throat while Mordred held out his wand in a choking gesture.

"Your lack of brains astounds me. You know what the chain of command is?" Mordred asked looking around the room while Goyle was gagging ion the air. "It's the chain we go get and _beat_ you all with until you understand who's in ruttin' command here." Mordred then turned to Malfoy and Crabbe. "You try anything like that again, and I'll drop both you on those stack of Knuts you call necks!"

He then tossed Goyle into Malfoy and Crabbe, who tumbled to the ground in a pile. Not having expected a retort of that nature, most of Slytherin was struck speechless, which was like music to Dawn's ears. She filled in the silence perfectly.

"Okay, we're only gonna tell you this once. I don't like you, Draco, and it's pretty obvious you don't like me." Dawn said as Draco tried to get to his feet. "We've already showed you that we mean business and we will _not_ be putting up with any of your racist whiney crap. The Hat put us in Slytherin, so deal with it. And don't even think of attacking us because we could each could pound the snot outta you and your goons in seconds flat." Dawn's voice had hardened and had successfully gotten everyone's full-uninterrupted attention.

"Oh and the bullying crap really doesn't work on us cuz we've have faced things way, way, _way_ scarier than you times a hundred back home." She added while smirking at Draco's stunned face. She glanced at her 'cousins', and then back at Draco, who had finally remembered on how to talk.

"But we're - you're – you can't do that to me!" he whined from the tangle of limbs he was in. "I'm a Prefect. I'm the one that's in charge here –" Mordred interrupted him.

"Looks like we're taking over then, yah ass-clown." Mordred said before pointing to the Basilisk head on the wall. "You see that thing there, boy? By putting that there we've declared our own superiority over the entire school. That there's a symbol that actually _means_ something. You want to talk about blood purity?" Mordred lifted Malfoy up in the air with his wand and pressed him against the ceiling as Draco clutched at his throat and choked.

"You want to treat us like dogs, and you expect _us_ to smile?" Roared Mordred at Malfoy, who was cowering and choking while he was trapped on the ceiling. "You remind me of a jack ass, you little mealy-mouthed bastard."

"But hey," Mordred said suddenly, turning around to the other Slytherins and letting Draco drop back into his goons, "if yah don't believe we're the ones to lead, just check out our score. Snape has already given us extra points for having this head in our Common Room as a symbol. No other House has anything similar, so if you wanna bitch and complain about what the three of us," he gestured to Faith and Dawn, "do, then by all means go ahead and lose those points if you don't want them. No sweat off my ass."

"Who do you think you are?" Asked Draco weakly as he tried to get off the ground. Faith supplied the answer.

"We're the Slytherin Triumvirate." She said evenly. "We're in control here now and if you want to live long enough to see Slytherin go to heights unimagined in the school, you better do as we say."

"We have several plans at work here," said Dawn informatively, "all of which will get us more points and accolades than any of you can dream of, but the catch is you have to do what we say when we tell you to. We won't be doing that often, so don't worry about us taking over your lives, we just don't want to have to put up with any 'Pure-blooded' nonsense." Dawn then began addressing her fellow Slytherins.

"Firstly: As you have noticed, Professor Umbridge here is on loan from the Ministry here. That means the longer she stays, the more power she'll get. That also means that if we get on her good side, _we'll_ be the ones who get the power, enough that any one of us will be able to give and take away points from other Houses." Dawn looked around at awed faces. "It's true, it's true."

"Secondly: Mordred and I are both Parselmouths. That means we can talk to snakes. That also means we can control the snakes to do our bidding. That gives us the chance to spy on the other Houses, see what they're up to for Quidditch practices, any plans to get points, and also any secrets anyone has, so whatever anyone else has in plans, we can find out." Dawn turned to where Draco and his goons were. "That also includes any plans you might have of trying to usurp us, so don't even think of it. We already have some snakes made, turned invisible and deployed, so be warned. If you'd like to add to the cause, ask our permission first before making your own snakes. The last thing we need to do is tip off the rest of the school as to what we're doing."

"And finally: Mordred and I are rather good at the actual school work, so to you younger kids, feel free to ask our help in anything you need to. If we don't know it, we'll find out and help you find it out as well." Dawn said sweetly. "That doesn't mean we'll _do_ your school work for you, it just means we'll _help_ you out. We also have three Nimbus 2001 brooms we would like to sell, so if you want them please see me afterwards. So, any questions?"

"Yeah," asked one Slytherin kid. "How do you know all this?"

"We have it on good authority that these things will happen," answered Dawn evenly. "Next question?"

"Are you the three who will be going out into the Forbidden Forest for 'religious' reasons?" Asked Pansy Parkinson, who had gotten off the ground while Draco and his two goons licked their wounds.

"Faith and Mordred will be out Patrolling, I won't be able to yet but that allows me to be able to help out with school work." Replied Dawn honestly. "However, I _will_ have Mordred's pet PaniChaos," the two-headed bird popped into view and landed on her shoulder after she said his name, "as well as my own personal snakes to guard me, so don't get any funny ideas."

"Look, we're not saying kiss the ass ends of the other Houses." Said Faith in an irritated voice. "We're just saying that by working with the other Houses, instead of against them, will in the end get us more House points than we've ever gotten before."

The others looked on in wonder, some with open greed on their faces, others with scepticism. Faith looked around.

"Mordred and I have to go Patrol now." Faith said as Mordred Summoned his and Faith's brooms as well as Conjuring up a skateboard. "Remember, if we hear anything bad has happened to Dawn while we're away, or if there's any plotting at all against us, it'll be the last things you do. Ciao."

"_Take care of Dawn."_ Mordred said to some of the invisible snakes in the room.

"_Will do, boss."_ They replied.

With that, Faith and Mordred went up the stairs leaving Dawn to auction off the three Nimbus 2001 brooms to the other Slytherins and field any questions from the younger ones (mostly what the US was like and what she knew) before heading off to bed.

Mordred hopped on his skateboard and went soaring through the school over to the Gryffindor Tower, where the students were wary of him until Buffy came out and reassured them he was only there to get her, and they went off to Patrol the Forest with Faith. The three of them encountered only a scant few monsters, as they had wiped out so many beforehand, so they were able to make it back to their dorms before midnight.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Teacher's Tyranny & Student's Snipes**

Buffy rushed from her dorm as she had woken up late, almost tripping over a small black cat with a silver streak on it. She just made it in time to wolf down a breakfast while the Golden Trio were talking about O.W.L.s, so she only heard part of the conversation.

"O.W.L.s are really important." Ron said to Harry and Hermione. "They affect the jobs you go for and everything. Bill told me we get career advice as well, so you can choose what N.E.W.T.s you want to do next year."

"Where've you been?" Ron asked Buffy, who had finished off her breakfast of cereal in record-setting time.

"I was asleep. I forgot to set an alarm clock." She said sheepishly. "Anyways, we got to get to class."

History of Magic was a class that most students fall asleep in, and Buffy and Faith were no exception. Mordred and Dawn on the Slytherin side were writing notes like mad, while on the Gryffindor side Hermione was doing the same while Harry and Ron played hangman on their parchments.

Mordred held up his hand halfway through the class, which surprised Professor Binns so much that he actually stopped droning about the Giant Wars long enough to find out what Mordred wanted to ask.

"Just out of curiosity," began Mordred. "Would the Giants used by Riddle in his war against the Wizarding world be considered a part of the Giant Wars, or no?" This actually woke up some of the class, as Mordred not only mentioned Voldemort's name, but his real name during a class.

"You're not supposed to say his name like that." Said one student. Before Mordred could retort, Professor Binns told them that riddles had nothing to do with the Giant Wars, and went back to droning about them, putting the class back to sleep.

"How would it be," asked Hermione to Harry, Buffy, and Ron after class, "if I didn't let you borrow my notes this year?" Buffy was quick to answer after jumping out of the way of Mordred, who went sailing through the air on his skateboard to get to the next class.

"Well, I'd get them from Faith, who gets hers from Dawn," said Buffy. "So at least I know how I'm getting my notes."

"You trust that Slytherin slime?" Asked Ron, perplexed.

"She _is_ my sister." Buffy replied coolly. "If you can't trust family, who _can_ you trust?"

Ron was about to respond, but then Cho Chang showed up wearing a Tornadoes badge. When she tried to talk with Harry, Ron practically chased her off, causing Hermione to begin bickering with him until they all got to Potions class. Snape began the class by informing them all about their upcoming O.W.L.s and had them all try to make a Draught of Peace. Only four students (Hermione, Mordred, Faith, and Dawn) came up with really passable potions, Harry was given a zero due to Snape's hatred of him as well as the fact that Harry missed an entire line on the board, while the Slytherin Triumvirate all got praised for their work. After class, they all went to lunch, with Mordred bouncing off the walls like a ricocheting bullet on his skateboard.

"How _does_ he do that?" Asked Ron in an awed voice.

"_Why_ does he do that?" Countered Hermione, who seemed to snipe at everything Ron said. The two of them bickered until Harry yelled at them both to shut up, and when he went off to Divinations class he only just got there before Dawn, who had gone up to class early after having a light lunch.

"_Do those two lovebirds always fight like that?"_ Dawn cheekily asked Harry in Parselmouth. "_Are they like that when they're out on dates, do you suppose?"_

"_What are you talking about?_" Replied Harry, not realizing he was talking in Parselmouth. "_They're not dating."_

"_Oh really?"_ Said Dawn mischievously. "_Sure sound like they're not only dating, but married to boot."_

"_Well, trust me, they're not dating."_ Harry said confusedly as Ron came up from the trapdoor and went over to him.

"Hermione and me have stopped arguing." Ron said, sitting down next to Harry.

"_Good_." Hissed Harry.

"What? You're talking in Parselmouth again." Said Ron perplexed.

"I said; it's good you and Hermione aren't fighting." Harry said, turning to look curiously at Dawn, who was now talking with Faith who had shown up after Ron. As Buffy and some of the others filtered into class Professor Trelawney also gave her version of the O.W.L. speech, ending it by having them all split up into pairs to try to interpret each other's dreams. Luckily it was only a single class instead of a double, so it ended early, and Buffy and Faith both had a laugh at the homework, as it consisted of a having a dream diary for a month.

"D'you realize how much homework we've already got?" Ron grumbled loudly. "A foot and a half long essay on Giant Wars from Binns, a foot on the use of Moonstones from Snape, and now a month's dream diary from Trelawney! I just hope that Umbridge woman doesn't give us any . . ."

When the students entered the classroom they found Umbridge wearing the same ghastly clothes she was wearing the day beforehand. When they'd all settled down she told them to put away their wands and take out their quills. She had them copy down what she put on the board with her own wand, and then she had them read out of their new textbook, _Defensive Magical Theory_ by Wilbert Slinkhard. It was the most depressingly dull book the entire class had ever read. Buffy read only a part of it before looking around to see what the others were doing. Dawn had read some, Faith didn't even try, and Mordred looked like he glued his nose to the book, but on closer inspection from Dawn it was revealed that he was rereading some Potions work. Hermione hadn't even begun her book; she just sat there with her hand held high in the air, trying to get the teacher's attention. Dawn remembered what happened here, and decided to do the same. Buffy followed suit, as did Faith. After awhile Professor Umbridge had to acknowledge them, so she spoke.

"Do you want to ask anything about the chapter, dears?" She asked the four girls, as if only just noticing them. Hermione said no, but Buffy jumped in.

"Yeah, when do we get to use any Defensive spells?" Buffy asked. Professor Umbridge's eyes went narrow, while the rest of the class looked at the three course aims.

"What is your name dear?" Umbridge asked in a sickly sweet voice.

"Buffy Summers, ma'am." Buffy replied.

"I don't think that there will be any occasion arising in my classroom where you will be attacked, Miss Summers." Professor Umbridge said with a little laugh. "Surely you don't think that you will need to actually use a defensive spell in my classroom?"

"We're not going to use Magic?" Ron said incredulously.

"Students raise their hands when they wish to speak in my classroom." Professor Umbridge said sternly. "And you are -?"

"Weasley." Ron said, thrusting his hand into he air. Umbridge turned her back on him, causing Hermione, Harry and Buffy to immediately raise their hands to get her attention. Umbridge looked at Harry before addressing Hermione.

"Yes Miss-?"

"Granger, ma'am." Hermione said. "Surely the whole point of Defence Against the Dark Arts is to learn Defensive spells?"

"Are you a Ministry-trained expert, Miss Granger?" Asked Umbridge in a falsely sweet voice.

"No but -" Hermione tried to answer but was cut off by Umbridge.

"Then you should know that Wizards much older and wiser than you are the ones more qualified to decide 'the whole point' of the class, as they have devised a whole new curriculum to get this class up to speed." Umbridge said sternly, before turning on a large false smile to the class. "Unfortunately this class has been exposed to some very irresponsible teachers who have kept this class far below what we expect an O.W.L. passing grade. Mainly this is due to various teachers who were all incompetent, not to mention one that was a" she paused before smiling, "dangerous half-breed."

Most of the Gryffindor class began protesting loudly at this, but Umbridge banged her fist on the table and stood up, telling them that they had to have their hands in the air if they wanted to talk to her.

"As I was saying, since you've been shown spells that are dangerous to you, you have come to believe that you'll be facing Dark attacks every other day, making you all paranoid." Umbridge said firmly. "Now, the Ministry believes that a theoretical knowledge will be more than sufficient for you to pass your O.W.L. exams. Yes Miss-?"

"Dawn Summers, ma'am." Dawn said, before asking her question. "So this means that the only times we'll be using the spells we learn will be during the exam?"

"Yes Miss Summers, that is correct." Umbridge said in a falsely sweet tone. "As long as you've studied the theory, there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to pass the O.W.L. exam when it comes, which will be done using carefully controlled circumstances."

"How does theory alone work out in the real world?" Asked Harry loudly, his hand raised high in the air.

"Ten points off of Gryffindor for speaking without your hand raised." Stated Umbridge icily. "This is school, not the real world. Surely you don't think there's someone out there waiting to attack you?"

"Hmm, let me think," said Harry in a mock thoughtfulness gesture. "What about Lord Voldemort?"

Most of the class gasped, but Mordred raised his hand in the air.

"Ten more points from Gryffindor," Umbridge said before turning to Mordred. "Yes, Mr.-?"

"Flaggson. Forgive my ignorance, as I'm not a native Brit," he said to the class, "but wasn't Voldemort the guy that got wasted by a baby about fourteen years ago?"

"Why, uh, yes, you could say that." Umbridge said faltering at Mordred's blunt way of putting things.

"Then, _even_ if he's still alive -" Umbridge's eyes flashed widely, "- why should any of us worry about him anyways? I mean, just wave a baby in front of him and he'll fold right up." Mordred looked around the class. "We could even get the original kid who did him in, ol'what's-his-name . . . "

"Harry Potter." Harry said angrily, lifting up his hair to show a scar. "Me."

"Oh," Mordred said in a surprised manner before turning to Dawn abruptly. "_You told me he was only scarred, not downright deformed!"_

Dawn and Harry both gaped, while the rest of the class looked on in confusion. Mordred then continued in English.

"Well, if you could beat him when you were a tyke, then why are you so worried about him now?" Mordred said in a baffled manner. "He sounds like a pretty pathetic loser, if you ask me."

"It is a lie that he's back." Said Umbridge, causing Harry to stand up and shout at her.

"It is NOT a lie!" Harry shouted. "I saw him! I fought him!"

"Twenty more points off of Gryffindor, and a detention for Mr. Potter!" Umbridge said triumphantly. "My office at five o'clock tomorrow evening. I repeat; the Dark Lord's return is a lie. The Ministry guarantees there are no Dark Wizards out to get you. If you are still worried, please by all means come to my office for any reason. If any one is telling you any fibs about Dark Wizards being reborn, I would like to hear about it. And now I would like you to continue reading from 'Basics for Beginners'."

Umbridge sat down while Harry stood up in fury. The whole class looked at him in worry and wonder.

"So, according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own accord?" Harry asked in a shaking voice.

"Cedric's death was a tragic accident." Umbridge replied coldly. "Another twenty points off of Gryffindor."

"Accident?" Harry said in an astonished voice. "It was murder, and you know it!"

"Thirty points off of Gryffindor. Come here." Umbridge said in a soft girlish voice.

He went up to her, and she handed him a note, whispering something to him before he left the classroom.

"Now he's got detention for the rest of the week." Dawn whispered to Mordred and Faith. The class continued reading from the book until the bell rang, and then they all went out of the class. Hermione and Ron waited to talk with Dawn, Faith, and Mordred, while Buffy watched out curiously.

"What's the matter with Harry?" Faith asked Dawn, but Mordred interrupted before Dawn could answer.

"Well he's as ugly as sin, _and_ he's got a stupid haircut." He supplied, getting a grin from Dawn and Faith that stopped when they saw Ron and Hermione.

"What in Merlin's name are you lot getting at?" Ron asked them after they all went out the door.

"We're just having a laugh at a fellow student's expense, no need to get your skirt in a knot." Said Mordred, before leering at Hermione. "Nice girlfriend, almost as tasty-looking as your sister."

Ron lunged at Mordred, but was stopped when a sharp looking wand suddenly appeared from Mordred's hand. Ron backed down a bit.

"You're a lot smarter than you look," said Mordred, "however, you _look_ like a retard, and _nobody_ could be that stupid and live."

Buffy then came over and crossed her arms, glaring at Mordred until he put away his wand. Buffy then tried to derail a fight from happening, so she tried talking with Hermione while she and Ron walked away from Mordred, while Dawn and Faith walked off together to chat. Mordred followed the three Gryffindor students, listening in on them.

"Why's Professor Umbridge such a bit - Troll?" Buffy changed her question after getting a scowl from Hermione. Mordred answered before Hermione could.

"She's probably just on her rag or something." This caused the _both_ groups of Gryffindor and Slytherin to stand still in shock and awe, with some of the males with enough self-preservational instincts trying to edge out of the way of whatever Curses that were sure to be unleashed.

"Mordred Flaggson, I think you should apologize for that sexist statement." Said Hermione dangerously, while fingering her wand. Mordred replied nonchalantly.

"Well I'm sorry, sweetheart, I just don't trust something that bleeds for five days straight every month and doesn't die." Hermione was so shocked she forgot to breathe for a few seconds.

"Don't trust something that bleeds every month and doesn't die!? DON'T TRUST SOMETHING THAT BLEEDS EVERY MONTH AND DOESN'T DIE!!!" Hermione practically screamed at him in outrage.

"Look everybody." Mordred said pointing at her mockingly. "Whore-mione's learned the basic art of repetition!"

Hermione lunged at him, but he jumped out of the way and went dancing around before venturing back like a bad cold.

"Is it me," Mordred asked rhetorically, "or do all Purebloods inbreed just so they can have retards like Ron there?"

Hermione whipped about while the rest of the group stood in shocked silence due to Mordred's insensitive question.

"At least Harry and Ron don't have multiple girlfriends hanging off them like slaves, unlike you two." Hermione said pointing at Dawn and Faith on the ground. "What do you call yourselves again, the Slytherin Triumvirate? More like concubines if you ask me."

"They're not my girlfriends, they're my _cousins_." Countered Mordred viciously. "Of course, being around a Pureblood like Ronnikins, I'm sure that's the reason why you think that inbreeding would seem proper to you. Speaking of your family, which one of your brothers was the lucky guy to take the 'virgin' outta your sister Virginia, making her just Ginny?"

"Her name's Ginevra, not Virginia, and none of us -!" Ron yelled before Mordred interrupted.

"Aha, so she was _never_ a virgin to begin with!" He declared triumphantly, jumping up and down excitedly and getting into Ron's face.

Hermione interjected herself between the two, but then stopped and looked at Mordred with a curious yet angry look.

"Did you know that you're really odd?" Asked Hermione pointedly.

"See, she can see it." Stated Mordred proudly. "She admits I'm really God. Why can't the rest of you?"

"I didn't say 'God', I said -" Hermione said shaking her head before continuing. "You claim to be not Pure Blood like it's a thing to brag about?"

"Damn straight I'm impure!" Mordred said proudly. "I'm as impure as the yellow driven snow."

This sent ripples of confusion through the students, who've never heard of a Slytherin bragging about being _impure_ before.

"Of course, that explains why Ron there hasn't ever bothered asking you out on a date yet." Mordred said pointing at Ron. "He's too busy taking turns with the rest of his brothers shagging 'The Whore of Gryffindor' herself, his own baby sister!"

"Why I ought to -" began Ron before Mordred cut him off.

"Ought to what?" Mordred said grinning a shark's grin. "You got a dress that goes with that stupid haircut? You want me to pop that zit you call a head off of yah? You try anything, and I'll stomp a mud hole in your ass and _walk_ it dry!"

This caused most students to gag. Hermione glared at him with intense anger.

"You better be careful mate," said Ron dangerously from Hermione's side, "she knows quite a few Curses and Jinxes to nail you with."

Mordred, instead of looking worried, seemed to brighten up a bit at this news.

"Okay, let's see what you know then," Mordred said. "If I want somebody to start crapping razorblades, what spell do I use? Or if I'm desperate to score a pint or so of baby blood; where's the best place to buy? Or what about Zombies? Say I want to shag one, or rent a few to work someone over; what spells should I use?"

"That's the most disgusting thing I've heard anyone say!" Said Hermione, staring straight at Mordred with her eyes and mouth wide open in shock.

"Don't make fun." Mordred said. "I worked long and hard to get this disgusting."

"I really believe you have." Replied Hermione earnestly.

"I'm just making a point, love." Said Mordred. "Magic's a nasty game. Go and play with your folk's drills and novocaine instead."

Hermione dismissed him with a wave of her hand and then turned to Ron.

"Come on Ron," she said, "let's leave Malfoy's new mouthpiece to insult other people."

"_What_ did you call me?" Mordred asked in a serious manner, his smile vanishing.

"I think it's sad that racist imbeciles like Malfoy attract so many unintelligent gits like that." Hermione said while walking away.

"Hey, I know Draco," Mordred said, trying to get their attention, "and I think calling him that is an insult to the unintelligent git community.

That paused Ron and Hermione long enough to turn around and look at him.

"Well, he's _your_ Prefect, so maybe you shouldn't . . ." Hermione was about to say _insult him _but stopped when she realized she was actually defending _Malfoy_ of all people. Mordred then looked at Ron, his grin showing his sharp pointy teeth.

"What are you, completely mental?" Asked Ron. "You think we're stupid or something?"

"If ignorance was bliss, you would _orgasmic_." He said cheerfully, before adding, "but then again, with a face like yours it'd be easy to see you as a virgin for life, not including close family."

"You really need to get your act together, don't you?" Ron asked, slowly reaching for his wand. Buffy saw this and interfered.

"Okay, let's not say something we'll regret later, okay?" Buffy said while getting in between the two Gryffindors and one Slytherin.

"You crazy freak." Shouted Ron, pulling out his wand.

"Vapid fooligan." Replied Mordred, cackling evilly.

"Like that." Said Buffy sighing before putting on her determined face. "Ok, if I see one more display of testosterone-poisoning, I will personally put you both in the hospital."

"Ok, ok, fine." Mordred said, holding up his hands while backing away. "Just one thing you should know, Ronny."

"What's that?" Asked Ron angrily, putting his wand away.

"You've got a . . ." Mordred waved his hand at Ron's head, "Giant Spider on your head!"

Ron reached up his hand as he felt something crawling over his head. He screamed and went into a gibbering panic while hitting his head with his hand.

"Sucker!" Mordred yelled before bounding off on his skateboard to the Great Hall. Faith and Dawn passed by while Hermione and Buffy tried to calm down a shaking Ron after Buffy had knocked the spider off of his head and sqaushed it flat.

"Sorry about that." Whispered Dawn. Faith only shrugged her shoulders.

"Darwin was wrong." Faith said in passing. "Some men are _still_ apes."

The girls went to the Slytherin table in the Great Hall while Ron, Buffy, and Hermione went to the Gryffindor table.

"Thanks for your help." Said Hermione to Buffy.

"Don't mention it." Said Buffy nonchalantly. "Besides, I could just tell something was wrong, as my spider sense was tingling."

"Your spider sense?" Hermione asked confusedly, while Ron looked about fearfully.

"Pop culture reference." Buffy said looking at them both. "Sorry."

"How could a nice girl like you be related to a raving _psycho_ like him?" Asked Ron. Buffy had to come up with an answer that would lead to fewer questions as to where she came from.

"It's devastating, I know." She said. "He's turned into a fifteen-year-old boy. Of course the only way to cure that is to kill him."

This got a snort of laughter from Hermione and an indignant grunt from Ron. Buffy chuckled slightly before carrying on.

"Testosterone is a great equalizer." Buffy said sagely. "It turns all men into morons."

"Hey, I think I've been insulted enough in one day . . ." Whined Ron as they got to the Great Hall for dinner, before saying. "That cousin of yours is psychotic!"

"Oh, sweetie," said Buffy patronizingly to Ron, "don't feel bad. He makes everybody insane. He's like a monster."

Back at the Slytherin's table, Mordred and friends were laughing their heads off.

"Dude!" Faith said. "You _are_ psychotic!" Mordred beat his chest proudly.

"I'm a bad, bad man." He said, before wolfing down a whole lot of food. The two girls, used to Mordred's way of eating, began digging into their meal as well. They only paused to watch the Golden Trio and Buffy go back to the Gryffindor Tower.

Inside the Gryffindor Tower, Buffy helped Ron and Harry with their work on Snape's essay, as she had a page that linked up to what Dawn had, so whatever Dawn wrote, Buffy could copy for her friends while Hermione placed some hats around the Common Room and the girls dorm for the Elves to pick up. After the Golden Trio went to bed, Buffy went out Patrolling, finding Faith and Mordred but not speaking to Mordred after what he had pulled. Faith went with her and they only found a few stray Vampires wandering around, so after Slaying them the two ladies worked on their essay's for Giant wars.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: ****Quarrels, Queries & Quidditch**

The next day, as she was petting the stray silver-streaked black cat in her dorm, Hermione was pleased to find that the hats that she had made were taken by some Elves, but before Buffy could congratulate her Ron compared the hats to wolly bladders, so that set Hermione off in a day-long huff. Buffy caught up with Hermione after breakfast and took her aside.

"You know, most boys only insult you if they really, really like you." Buffy said suggestively. Hermione only scowled at her before answering.

"He's my friend, but he can be such a toad at times." Hermione said as they went to their Double Charms class.

Both Double Charms and Double Transfiguration had a fifteen minute lecture each on the importance of their upcoming O.W.L.s. During Charms class they practiced Summoning Charms and got a large amount of written homework, while in Transfiguration they had to do Vanishing spells. Buffy and Faith managed to do almost as well as Hermione, leaving only small pieces of snail left over. Dawn and Hermione both vanished their snails, and then when Dawn started asking for bigger things to Vanish, Hermione felt duty bound for Gryffindor to Vanish whatever Dawn could Vanish. After the class they had each gotten their Houses a respectable sixty points each, while Mordred helped get an extra fifty points for Slytherin by making the items they Vanished reappear in perfect order, as well as reVanish them himself.

During lunch the four Gryffindors worked on their homework, with Buffy getting help from the two boys on her dream diary for Divination while talking with Hermione about the hats she made.

"So, these Elves find a piece of clothing, and presto! They're free?" Buffy asked Hermione. "Cool, count me in."

During Care of Magical Creatures they learned about Bowtruckles, and each student had to do a sketch of one before class was over. Harry tried to do his sketch, but was distracted by Malfoy, who was insulting Hagrid, and ended up with a bloody knuckle from his Bowtruckle. Mordred used a Freezing Spell to hold down one Bowtruckle, as the Bowtruckles were terrified of him for some reason, and whenever he or Dawn or Faith went near Malfoy and his goons, Malfoy paled and walked away from him in fear, making the Gryffindors wonder what the new kids had done to them. After class, they went to the Greenhouses where they we having Herbology. They got there just as the Fourth-Years were leaving.

Ginny waved to Harry as she left, but Luna Lovegood came out after her class, her hair tied up in a bow on top of her head, a smudge of earth on her nose, and a pair of orange radish earrings on her ears. When she saw Harry, she made a beeline straight for him.

"I believe He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back," said Luna in one breath, "and I believe that you fought him and escaped from him."

"Er, right." Said Harry awkwardly. Parvarti and Lavender both began giggling, while Buffy had to suppress a smile of her own. Mordred stood rooted to the spot looking at her, his face unreadable.

"You can laugh," Luna said, believing that it was what she had said that was causing the others to laugh as opposed to what she was wearing, "but people used to believe that there were no such things as the Blibbering Humdinger, Can-Toi, the Crumple-Horned Snorkack, or the Vampire Slayer."

That stopped Buffy from laughing, but Hermione went on to say that none of those things were real and insulted her for believing in them, causing Luna to give her a withering look and walk away with her radishes bouncing madly. Some of the others laughed, but Buffy stood still after hearing what Luna had said. She looked over at the Slytherin Triumvirate, who had also heard what Luna had said, but had gone into the class (Mordred was still staring at Luna, prompting Faith to drag him into the class). Professor Sprout also began the class with a lecture on their upcoming O.W.L.s, and after class had given them an essay to write for homework.

Buffy went with Harry to the Great Hall, and there they ran into Angelina, the Gryffindor Quidditch team captain. Angelina was busy chewing Harry out on his getting a detention on Friday and causing him to miss practice for them, when Buffy decided to defend him.

"Hey, it's not his fault that Umbridge bat is psycho!" Buffy said. "She's practically here just to see to it that Harry doesn't tell the truth about Moldy shorts coming back!" Angelina gave her a strange look before speaking.

"And what part of the team are _you_ going to be on?" She asked defiantly.

"I could be part of the Cheerleading Team," suggested Buffy, "I was a cheerleader back at my school, I think I could give it a try."

"There are no 'cheerleaders' here, missy, only _atheletes_." Countered Angelina venomously. Buffy was about to retort when Hermione led her off before a fight could break out.

"You don't want to get Angelina angry at you." Said Hermione. "She's very tough, that's why she's the Gryffindor team captain."

"I can handle myself." Buffy said assuredly before they both went to eat dinner. "I'm stronger than I look."

After dinner, Buffy got help from Hermione on her homework (Hermione told Buffy it was nice just helping a person with their homework as opposed to doing it for them, as in Ron's and Harry's case). Afterwards, Buffy went out Patrolling with Mordred and Faith, but with the exception of a few giant insects, which they fried easily, they found nothing to be worried about. When Buffy came back she ran into Harry, who was coming back from detention.

"How's your hand feeling?" Buffy said, remembering what Dawn had told her about Umbridge's style of detentions.

"Fine." Harry lied. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason." Buffy said.

"How was Patrolling?" Harry ventured. Buffy looked at him a bit, before answering.

"It was good," she said cautiously, "and that's all I'll say about it, as it _is_ personal."

"Ok, no pressure." Harry said before heading off to bed.

On Wednesday after their Divination class Harry, Ron and Buffy found Hermione in a state of rage during break.

"Your cousin is one of the most _arrogant_ people I've met, including Malfoy." Stated Hermione firmly to Buffy. "He's extremely smart, but he's so full of himself he makes me want to strangle him. And the things he says regarding women! How can the other girls bother to team up with him in a group if he's that condescending towards women?"

"He's in your Arithmancy class?" Asked Ron, overhearing the two girls. "I thought only people who like boring stuff took that class?"

Hermione shot him a look of pure loathing, and Ron backed off fearfully. Buffy tried to cheer Hermione up, so she pointed out that Mordred was probably taking on too many classes and that eventually he'll have no time to gloat.

"After all, he's taking a Double Divination class after Potions on Thursday," Buffy told her, "and he has Muggle studies right after that! He's sure to pop like a balloon before October begins." This only made Hermione even more depressed, as she saw Mordred getting more marks for his team than she could for hers.

"It's bad enough your sister and I are neck and neck in classes," said Hermione, "but to have that arrogant jerk doing more classes than me and better than I did is just insulting."

"Well, he'll burn out sooner or later." Said Buffy, but she had an unsure look on her face.

During Transfiguration Buffy saw Hermione's point, as both Mordred and Dawn were getting twice as many points for their House as Hermione was for hers. Afterwards during lunch Buffy suggested Hermione force Ron to do his own homework.

"No chance." Hermione said, picking up a beef sandwich to eat. "He'll fail out, and I don't want that happening to my friends. Besides, Gryffindor will lose points if we get poor marks."

"In that case why aren't you helping out everyone in Gryffindor?" Buffy asked slyly. "Admit it, you like Ron more than as a friend." Hermione choked on her sandwich and need a few pats on her back from Buffy to breath.

"For your information," Hermione said between gasps, "Ron is just my _friend_, as is Harry!"

"_Sure_ he is." Said Buffy chidingly, but then the bell rang and they had to go to class.

They had Double Herbology class, where they handed in their homework and began work on Fanged Geraniums, which they were told would be on their final exams. Afterwards they went straight to Care of Magical Creatures, where they worked with Nifflers for the entire class after handing in their homework. During dinner Harry was again complaining about Hagrid not being there to teach.

"Don't you say you think Grubby-Plank's a better teacher than Hagrid too!" Harry said to Buffy, when the others made vague noises about not being bitten during class by anything dangerous.

"She's the only teacher I've had so far in Herbology." Said Buffy tiredly, as she was nearing her patience level with Harry's temper tantrums.

Later that night, after Patrolling with Faith and Mordred, Buffy again ran into Harry and asked him about his hand. He again deflected her question by asking her about Patrolling, and they both went to their Astronomy class feeling uneasy. After Astronomy, they had even _more_ homework to do, as Hermione almost tripped over the stray cat that was in her dorm as she carried her books into her room.

The next day after Potions class, Buffy and Hermione had a study session together where they did as much of their homework as they could possible. Ron went over and got help from Hermione, but after leering at Buffy a few too many times the two girls chased him off to "try and do _some_ of the work on your own, before asking for help."

"Why doesn't he use a Ennervate spell on himself, like I do every morning?" Asked Buffy. "It's not like his practicing for being a goalie is _that_ stressful."

"How do you know he's practicing for the Quidditch Keeper position?" Asked Hermione shrewdly.

"I saw him when I was Patrolling last night," offered Buffy, who then changed the topic by showing her Herbology homework, "say, could you help me with this?"

"Ok," replied Hermione as she looked over Buffy's work, "how are you finding it here in Hogwarts?"

"It's great here," replied Buffy, "much better than in my old school."

"How so?" Asked Hermione in curiously.

"Well, for starters, in my old Muggle high school, knowledge was pretty much frowned upon. You really had to work to learn anything." Buffy explained. "But here, the energy, the collective intelligence -" Buffy struggled with finding the right words to say "- it's like this force, this penetrating force, and I can just feel my mind opening up, you know, and letting this place just thrust into and spurt knowledge into -" Buffy came to a dead stop as she realized what she was saying due to the look of shock on Hermione's face.

"That sentence ended up in an entirely different place than it started out in." Buffy said sheepishly before closing up her books and heading off to Patrol, leaving Hermione gaping at her like a drowned fish.

When Buffy, Faith and Mordred went Patrolling that night, Buffy asked Mordred about his course load.

"It's really fascinating," said Mordred while pointing out where some monsters had converged, "I get to do Potions, which I _love_ doing, and I also get to do Divination with Trelawney by myself. Whenever she tries anything with me, be it palm reading, Tarot cards, or anything else that tells the future she gets mad because I'm a blank page. I'd like to see her face after I hand in my dream diary." When the others looked at him he only chuckled.

"I don't dream, mainly because I don't sleep per say," said Mordred, "but I do have a 'vision' of sorts whenever I meditate. It's of a Black Hole somewhere in the Universe, and I see various things going in it every night, so even though it's the same it's also different every time."

They then found a group of Vampires and then concentrated their energy into Mordred's wand, which he then fired a ball of sunshine into the Vamps, dusting them all.

"A-And Muggle studies is a hoot," he said tiredly after the spell, "you wouldn't believe what the Mages think of Muggles."

"From what Hermione has been telling me, you seem to be very full of yourself." Said Buffy cautiously.

"Hey, can I help but be proud of what I am?" He asked. "Dawn's just as good as Hermione."

"Yeah, but Dawn's not making as many sexist remarks as you are." Replied Buffy.

"Yes she is!" Mordred said defensively. "She and Faith have brought the Slytherin boys so low I'm having trouble defending myself, let alone my entire gender. I'm just doing it for the school, where they're doing it for our House only."

They then went back to their dorms, where Buffy found Ron and Harry talking together.

"Hey, look at Harry's hand!" Ron said, shoving Harry's hand towards Buffy's face. Harry tried pulling it back, but Buffy correctly guessed what happened.

"She had you write 'I must not tell lies' on it until there was a scar." Said Buffy. When the two boys looked at her in surprise she quickly added. "I've heard of some teachers back in the States doing that, but they were then fired."

"I wish Dumbledore could fire Umbridge." Said Hermione angrily. "But since she's here on Ministry orders he can't fire her."

"Oh well, we'll just have to grin and bear it for awhile." Buffy said, drawing an angry gaze from Harry. "Well next time, don't speak up in class. As a matter of fact, don't speak at all in that class, as she's just looking for a reason to give you detention."

When Hermione and Buffy went up to their dorm, they almost tripped over the stray cat, which was meowing at them as the girls were getting dressed.

"Whose cat is that, anyways?" Asked Hermione, but Buffy only shrugged.

On Friday Mordred went soaring around the school on his skateboard, having finished all his homework. The others noticed it only when he went near their dorms, as they had gotten used to Mordred jumping off of stairwells to get to the bottom, bouncing off of walls over their heads and almost flying through the air whenever he had enough momentum going for him. Faith and Dawn were working on their homework, so they were too busy to care, the other Slytherins were too terrified of the Triumvirate to be bothered, and Dumbledore had left the school for the day, due to urgent business. Buffy and the rest of the school took it in stride, and when practice for the Gryffindors began she went out with Hermione to cheer her fellow Housemates on.

At six o'clock in the evening however, Mordred went into his dorm and took off his robes before putting on what appeared to be a scuba wet suit in the Slytherin Common Room, complete with mask but no flippers. He then went bouncing around and into the Gryffindor Tower, where he went all over the place causing a mess in both dorms and the Common Room. Due to most of the Gryffindors being out on the Quidditch pitch, no one was able to stop him. After almost five minutes of trashing the place, Mordred threw something in the fire that not only smelled horrible, but also covered the entire Common Room in Darkness smoke that caused people to lose their balance when they went into it. When he left the Common Room, he placed a CD labelled "Prodigy: Fat of the Land" on the door with the first song highlighted. When Hermione tried to Jinx him he yelled "_Vestitus Evanesco_" and nailed her with a spell that stripped her of all her clothes, leaving her to try and seek something to hide in (Buffy gave Hermione her own school robes when she found her.)

Mordred went over to the Ravenclaw Tower and did the same thing there, causing a mess before pausing long enough to place the same CD on its door, this time with the second song highlighted. He went down to the Hufflepuff Dungeon, and did the same thing, placing the CD with the third song highlighted before just narrowly getting out of the Common Room in time to avoid being hit with several Stunners. He then bounced around the stairwells before placing the CD with the fourth song highlighted on a wall before diving through and shattering a window, fixing the glass on his way down before hitting the ground and running towards the Quidditch Pitch. He charged towards the Pitch and went in, bouncing all over the place and crashing into players, all of whom were trying to fly out of his way. He left another CD there, this time with the fifth and sixth songs highlighted, before riding up several hundred feet in the air on a stolen broom and then diving straight down.

He stopped halfway between the Pitch and the lake, and then flew out over the lake. He then Conjured several Water Golems which he sent after the group of angry students who had converged around the lake. He then went flying around Hogwarts outside grounds before deliberately crashing the broom into one of the walls, all the while dodging spells aimed at him from flying students. He then got to the Astronomy Tower and went in, leaving a CD with the seventh song highlighted on the door. He bounced around the halls before crashing through Umbridge's door, disrupting Harry's detention slightly as he chucked in some stink bombs. He bounced back to around the Gryffindor Tower area, where he goaded the Weasley twins and Lee Jordan into chasing him. He made it to where Draco and some of his goons were at, and when the three Gryffindors crashed into the Slytherins, Dawn floated the somewhat broken Vanishing Cabinet over to them, catching Fred, Jordan, Malfoy, Montague, and Goyle in it before closing it. He then left the CD with the eighth song highlighted on the Cabinet's door, before jumping down the stairwell to the basement where Buffy was waiting for him. He tossed some Darkness powder to cover his escape, and left Buffy holding onto a CD with the ninth song highlighted. He then went to his own Dungeon, where he left a final CD on the Slytherin's door with the last song highlighted, before stripping off his costume and putting on his robes by himself before the teachers could get to him.

"What in Merlin's name did he do that for?" asked Ron, who had been one of the boys chasing him on broomstick. "I mean, even with the crazy getup he had on him, everyone knows he did it."

"He should be punished for that." Agreed Hermione, as they all waited for their Houses to be cleaned up. "He wrecked all the dorms except his own, and caused general chaos over the entire school, not to mention the Quidditch Pitch and the lake."

"And he Vanished Fred and Lee," said Angelina, who was furious. "We've lost one Beater and the only fair voice we've ever had for Quidditch for who knows how long." She turned to the other Gryffindors.

"Tomorrow we're having an emergency practice to replace Fred as a Beater." She yelled at the others. "All of you should come try out so that the other teams don't a head start on us." When George, Ron and Ginny glared at her she softened her tone.

"It's only until Fred gets back." She said reassuringly. "There's no need to worry about me replacing him with someone else permanently."

"There he is!" Ron said as he saw Mordred walking by with Snape and McGonagall by each side. "Too bad he's got the Professors around him, I'd like to give him a piece of my mind."

The other Gryffindors nodded in consent as Mordred went with the two Heads of House, whom he was talking to quite animatedly.

"I can't possibly do any of that stuff without a skateboard," he was saying, "or a broom, and I don't own any stink bombs yet as I have other potion ingredients that I need . . ."

The groups all then waited before getting the all clear and heading back to their dorms.

"Would it be possible for you to ask him why he did that?" Hermione asked Buffy. "I mean, if it doesn't get in the way of your Patrolling, that is?" Buffy was about to answer, when Ron interrupted.

"He's a Slytherin and he's been practically training for this for a week now." Ron said.

"Longer, actually," Buffy said, causing the others to look at her, "he's been bouncing around the entire Castle since we got here in July. I just thought he wanted to memorize everything there was here, now I know why." She looked at Hermione and nodded.

"I'll try to talk to him if it doesn't interfere with Patrolling." She said, stewing with anger.

Later on that night, Buffy confronted Mordred.

"What in the Hell are you doing?" She yelled at him, while Faith held his arm to keep him from bolting. "You caused a lot of trouble today!"

"I guess this is where I give you an explanation of my actions." Mordred said sheepishly.

"Does the word 'duh' mean anything to you?" Buffy said before crossing her arms and glaring at him. "Spill."

"Ok, the first reason why I did that is because I wanted to see how well the school would band together during an attack." Mordred said. "If the Gryffindors had told the Ravenclaws or the Hufflepuffs what was happening, I would've been caught before the third song was done."

"The second reason is I wanted to get rid of Malfoy and some of his goons, and I needed a plausible way of getting rid of them without getting into too much trouble with Professor Snape." Mordred said. "I figure a small sacrifice on Gryffindor's part would be equal enough to what I was doing."

"Why did you want Malfoy gone?" Asked Buffy curiously. "I mean it's good he's gone for awhile, but doesn't he have a big part of this story?"

"Listen, _I'm_ the one who has to share the same dorm as he does. Dawn and Faith have it lucky as they only have to put up with the Slytherin females, who're all pussies." Mordred said. "Also, I wanted the Slytherin Seeker position open, as well as a Beater position, and I got both." Buffy's eyes went wide as she realized what Mordred aimed to accomplish. She turned to Faith and looked her in the eye.

"You can't become a Beater," Buffy said sternly, "we could _kill_ people with our strength. Imagine if we hit one of those Bludger balls into a student?"

"Relax, B." Faith said, "remember on how big D said that Mages heal quicker than most people? And besides, we got a kick-ass healer in the school nurse, not to mention Mordy's bird, which is part Phoenix. We'll be fine."

"What about keeping a low profile?" countered Buffy, "the other students all believe that what we're doing now is a religious thing, so they keep their questions to themselves mostly. We don't need them to find out what we are, or did you forget what Bumbelgore said about us Slayers being a myth?"

"_Oka-y_, I won't try out for the position." Faith said, backing down. "But remember, you can't try out either."

"Agreed." Buffy said, and they shook on it. Mordred hawked on one of his wands as he polished it, causing Buffy to gag.

"Could you _not_ do that while we're – ever?" Buffy yelled while Mordred laughed at her before walking away and polishing his wands. They went around the area, and only found a few stray Vampires to Slay, so they used their martial arts instead of their wands for them.

Faith dove at one Vamp and gave it a kick to the chin, causing it to stagger backwards. She gave another kick to its stomach, and then grabbed its head and threw herself sideways to the ground. As the Vamp tumbled over her, she rolled onto her back, planted her feet on its shoulders, and gave a good yank. Its head came off, and it became dust.

Buffy grabbed her own Vamp, and began bashing its head against a tree, stopping only to slam it into a branch where it dusted. Mordred stayed back, so that whenever any Vamps ran for it he nailed them with a fireball that burned them to cinders before they could escape. Within ten minutes they were done Slaying, and the only thing left of their enemies was ash and dust.

"We fight good when we're mad." Commented Mordred before they all headed back to the Castle.

"Say Mordred, do you know whose cat is running around the girl's dorm?" Asked Faith. "The black one with a silver streak? Dawn doesn't know, as she hasn't looked too hard for it in the books, but it keeps meowing at us girls whenever we're dressing at night and in the morning."

"You have a cat like that too?" Asked Buffy.

"Weird" was the only thing Mordred said as he and Faith went off to the Slytherin Dungeon while Buffy went to the Gryffindor Tower.

On the Saturday morning, there was a notice out on the Quidditch pitch, co-signed by Umbridge, Snape, and McGonagall. The students all looked at it in wonder, and soon enough there was a commotion around it.

"The first Quidditch game is on the twenty-eighth of September," said Ron in surprise, "and it's between Gryffindor and Slytherin."

"That means we have to practice, practice, _practice_!" Angelina said. "We have even less time if we want to whip our troops up into shape." Ginny looked at the board and gave a shout of surprise.

"Hey, Mordred gets to commentate, 'with a partner of his choice.'" She said in dismay. "I bet he'll have another Slytherin as a partner, just to get an extra bias for the Slytherin team!"

"We should talk with Dumbledore about this, as that is unfair." Ron voiced his concern. "How come he wasn't punished for what he did?" He looked at Hermione for support. She looked back at him and nodded in agreement.

"I know you don't think I care much for the Quidditch games," she said, "but I do like to see our team win."

That afternoon, the Gryffindor team went out to practice, while the Slytherin team (minus the Triumvirate) watched and made catcalls at them.

Buffy was in the stands with the other Gryffindor students opposite the Slytherins, trying to cheer their team on.

"This is so much different than the cheerleading I used to do back in the States." Buffy told Hermione. "I was thinking we'd be making pyramids with our bodies and dancing."

"In this cold weather?" asked Hermione incredulously as the players passed the Quaffle between one another, "I've seen some of the things American cheerleaders wear, there's no way you'd last over a minute here even in September."

Buffy nodded her head in agreement before looking out at the players passing the ball around in the air.

"What other schools do we face off against?" Asked Buffy. "And are there any other sports that we play?"

"It's only an Inter-House sport," said Hermione, "and Quidditch is in fact the only sport we play. Haven't you read Hogwarts: A History yet?"

"Some of it. Looks' like Ron's not doing too well." Buffy said, looking out as Ron fumbled the ball. She then quickly added. "He'll get better with practice and more confidence, I'm sure."

"Yeah, I've always said –" Hermione began before something happened to cause a commotion on the grounds.

Someone had let loose a Bludger, which had gone up in the air and knocked Angelina off her broom. It zoomed at Harry, before going after Ron, causing all the players to scatter. It zoomed this way and that, and then all of a sudden went straight at Hermione's head. It almost hit her when Buffy nailed it with a punch that sent it crashing through the Pitch wall, causing a huge hole where everyone could see outside, all the way to the Castle.

The look of shock on everyone's face caused Buffy to blush deeply, and she only had enough time to think _uh oh _when Angelina flew up to her.

"You're in." She said, a look on her face bordering on fanaticism. "With a Beater like you we'll win every game for sure."

"No way." Buffy said adamantly.

"Ah come on," Angelina said, "you saw how hard you hit the ball. You're a shoe in. Just get yourself a broom-"

"I mean; no way as in I can't play." Buffy clarified. Angelina looked on in shock. Buffy thought quickly and tried coming up with an excuse. "I can't fly that well . . . and violent sports are not part of my religion . . . and I could really hurt someone with that."

Angelina looked unimpressed, as did many of the other Gryffindors. They began to chant "Beater Buffy" over and over.

"And besides," Buffy said, backing up as they chanted louder and louder, "Fred'll be back soon if we can find a way to get him back, so why go through all the trouble if he only shows up when it's game time?"

"Even if he does come back, I'm sure he won't mind trading his spot on the team with you for us to win," said George, "Heck, _I'll_ trade in my spot if need be."

This got a look of approval from Angelina, who then looked on as the chanting began again. Professor McGonagall came riding on her broom, holding the dented Bludger in a spell.

"Who sent this into the Castle?" She demanded, before seeing the crowd around Buffy. They all pointed at her, but Hermione came to her defence.

"It was an accident." She said earnestly. "If Buffy hadn't of hit the Bludger, it would have hit me instead. She didn't mean to send it to the school."

"Is this true?" Asked McGonagall. Buffy nodded her head, figuring that she was in for a lecture on breaking school property. She was surprised when McGonagall grinned widely at her.

"Then where's your broom?" she asked, "I've seen you flying with Mordred and Faith, you do very well at that. You should be able to do very well at Quidditch."

"Well, I uh, I choke, yeah that's it." Buffy supplied, blushing. "I choke at actual games."

"Then practice." McGonagall said sternly. "I could give you detention instead for destroying a school wall, if you like?"

"Ok, give me detention." Buffy said, seeing a way out of her playing. This put a surprised look on McGonagall's face. "I'll do lines, clean walls, scrub floors, _anything_."

The others looked at her in shock; no one had ever _chosen_ a punishment instead of Quidditch. Even Hermione, who didn't like playing that much, looked at Buffy in wonder, while McGonagall looked at her curiously, before turning around.

"Very well," she said, shaking her head, "I'll give you the rest of the weekend to think this over, if you still feel the same way about it then I'll have you do a detention fixing the wall you broke." McGonagall looked back over to Buffy.

"I thought you would have enough _courage_ to at least try," she said icily, "you are after all, a Gryffindor."

For the rest of the day the other Gryffindors, who wouldn't stop asking her to try out for the Beater position, pestered Buffy to no end. They were with her in the halls, the outside grounds, in the Common Room, even in her Dorm (the females at least). The breaking point for Buffy came when Angelina threatened to follow her out during Patrolling, which Buffy responded to by grabbing her and slamming her against the wall, before telling her to back off or else. After that, none of the other Gryffindors would talk to her except Hermione.

"Don't worry," Hermione said, "they think life begins and ends with Quidditch. They'll get over it when Fred comes back."

At dinnertime Buffy had excused herself and went to her dorm room on the pretext to study, but she really just wanted to get away from the others. She spent the evening petting the cat with the silver streak on it, waiting for everyone to go to bed. Finally the hour she had been waiting all evening for came. After everybody had gone to bed, Buffy had stayed up late in the Common Room, saying she had to study. She climbed the stairs to her dorm as quietly as she could and opened the door. Like she had expected Hermione was asleep. She went to her closet, and quickly got dressed before taking out the trunk from under her bed. Buffy took out a couple of stakes and a dagger. She put one of the stakes in her left boot and tucked another in her belt along with the dagger. She kept the last stake in her hand as she headed out. She went along the halls and was just nearing one of the exits when she felt herself being watched. She kept on walking, letting whoever was following her tail her, and when she reached one of the corners she darted into it and leapt high in the air. She stood upside-down on her hands and balanced herself on a beam as she felt the person following her pass underneath her, even though she didn't see whom it was.

"Where'd she go?" "Shush!" The voices from the invisible thing said. _Aha,_ she thought, _Harry and his Invisibility Cloak._ She then swung down and kicked them both, sending Harry and Ron tumbling through the air in the Cloak. She then went over and grabbed the cloak, wrapping it around them both and carrying them back to the dorm, where she deposited them in front of the Fat Lady's Portrait.

"You guys pull a stunt like that again," she threatened, "and I'll be dropping you into the lake next time."

She then went off to the Forest, where she met up with Faith and Mordred.

"What took you so long, B?" Asked Faith. "Another minute and we'd have gone off without yah."

"Sorry, Harry and Ron decided to be funny and try to follow me." Buffy said. "I had to threaten them before they'd stop following me. They won't leave me alone about this Beater stuff."

"Hey, can you blame them?" Asked Faith. "We're kick-ass chicks who can now both be called Beater Babes."

"What?" Asked a shocked Buffy. "I thought we agreed _not_ to become Beaters?"

"That we did," said Faith, "until _you_ nailed that Bludger through the Castle wall and practically stole the Beater position. Besides, guess who's Seeker for Slytherin?" Buffy looked at Mordred, who only shook his head while chuckling mischievously.

"I'm just announcing next game, although I do plan on becoming the Keeper in Bletchley's place for the next two games since he's now taking over for Montague as a Chaser." Said Mordred. "No, the honour of being a Seeker goes to your little sister, Dawnie. And let me tell you, she can fly better than anyone, including us three."

"What does the team captain say about this?" Asked Buffy.

"We're the new team captains." Replied Mordred and Faith in union. Faith explained. "Since Montague is missing, the Triumvirate has decided to take over the position. We're giving the orders from now on."

"Don't break your arms patting yourselves on the back." Said Buffy as they went over to an area to begin Patrolling. They found a nest of Vampires and began Slaying them, ripping into them with ease.

"It's getting easier and easier every night," Faith sighed after she dusted the last Vamp. "And I was jonesing for a work out . . . wait, how old are the Seventh-Years here?"

"I do believe most of them are seventeen-" Mordred began before Buffy cut him off.

"Faith, don't you _dare_!" She said sternly.

"Why not? It's perfectly legal," Faith, said coyly, "at least, in England it is."

"Please don't do that." Buffy pleaded. "The last thing we need is for you to shag half the male population in Hogwarts. We're here as guests as it is, there's not point in rocking the boat – Oh, what I wouldn't give for a better expression." She said shaking her head as they went back to the Castle.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: P.I.T. Time! (Pranks, Insults & Threats)**

The next day Buffy went to McGonagall and told her she changed her mind, which led to cheering from the Gryffindor team.

"I'm only gonna hit the ball _away_ from people, not at them." She cautioned them all. "I don't want a murder rap on my sheet."

"At last we got some good news." Said Ron, before showing her the Daily Prophet. Buffy scanned the headlines and glared at it.

"So, she's finally been made into a High Inquisitor." Buffy said. "I thought that Inquisitors hunted down Witches and Wizards?"

"Yeah, only in this case," Ron said, "the ones she's hunting are Dumbledore supporters. She'll be inspecting all the teacher's during their classes, so no one will be able to say anything against the Ministry during the classes she visits."

"Hey Buffy," asked Ginny, who had come from the Gryffindor Tower, "didn't you say Faith owned a Black Cat with a grey stripe on it?"

"No, just a Black Cat, why?" Buffy asked as Ron and Harry left to talk with the other Gryffindors.

"Well, there's been this cat coming into the girl's dorms a lot this past week." Ginny said. "It has flashy eyes and it meows weirdly."

"Oh yeah, that one." Said Hermione. "Did anyone ever find out who owns it?"

Ginny was about to respond, but before she could the others all heard the Slytherin table hooting and howling at one another very loudly. The other three tables looked on at the Slytherins, who were tossing some red and gold coloured things amongst each other before Mordred grabbed them.

"Hey bitches," he yelled across the Main Hall, "I got something for yah!"

He then slingshot them at the Gryffindor table, catching Ginny, Hermione, and Buffy in the heads with the red and gold thongs that upon inspection had their not only their initials, but some rather poorly made nude images of the girls in question on them as well. Mordred gave them a thumb's up before running off while still laughing. The stunned silence on the Gryffindor table was broken when Buffy crushed the table she was holding onto, her eyes blazing with fury.

"That dirty bastard." Buffy said as she watched Mordred go bounding off without even looking around. Buffy looked at Hermione.

"I'll talk with him when we're Patrolling tonight." Said Buffy, cracking her knuckles. "Or see if I can hit him as hard though a wall as I can a Bludger."

"I'm a Prefect, so I'll talk to him." Said Hermione in a friendly, yet angry, manner. "That way, it doesn't interfere with your religious duties or prayers during your Patrolling."

Buffy looked guiltily at the ground while Hermione and Ginny went off to try and find Mordred. She then hurried to follow up with them, but was sidetracked by some of the other students, who were meandering about and chatting about Umbridge becoming the new High Inquisitor.

Hermione and Ginny went outside and saw Mordred leaning up against one of the three big rocks just outside of the school. He was talking with Dawn and Faith about something when Hermione strode up to him angrily.

"You!" Hermione screamed as she got to him, "You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach!"

"What have you done now?" Asked Dawn in a wearied voice. Mordred replied as Hermione pulled out her wand and pointed it at his throat.

"What have I _not_ done, is what you should be asking?" He asked casually before addressing Hermione and Ginny. "Hello ladies, what can I do for you?"

"Oh, so now we're _ladies_ now, are we?" Asked Ginny, looking at him in fury. "I thought I was the 'Whore of Gryffindor', from what Hermione told me you said."

"Only by reputation in the men's locker rooms." Supplied Mordred, making Ginny place her wand next to Hermione's at his neck. Ron and Harry, who came running when they saw the commotion, interrupted them.

"Hermione, Ginny, no!" Ron said in a desperate attempt to stop them. "He's not worth it."

"Yes I am!" Said Mordred indignantly. "I'm _so_ worth it!"

When Ron and Harry tried to hold back Hermione and Ginny, Mordred howled with laughter at them.

"That's right ladies," he said, "let the boys take you back to your rooms for a different sort of 'wand' use."

The girls scowled, but they put away their wands. Hermione tried to sucker punch Mordred the same way she once did Draco, but he ducked out of the way too fast and jumped over their heads, landing on the rock above them. The four Gryffindors all pointed their wands at him, but were stopped when he popped two wands, one from each hand, and pointed them at them while Faith and Dawn pulled out their wands. Buffy held back to see how this would go.

"Ok, from what I remember, duels are to be done one-on-one, correct?" Mordred asked the four Gryffindors who were standing around the rock. They all nodded in agreement. "Fine, then how about Hermione and I duel to settle this, since she was the first one to challenge me?"

"Are you taking the Mickey?" Asked Ron, glaring at him. Mordred responded.

"Hell yah. I'm taking Mickey, and I'm gonna be guttin' him like the lab rat that he is and then feeding him to his own dog Pluto." Mordred said before cracking his neck and then grinning evilly. "And then I'm gonna be goin' after Minnie, and believe you me, you don't want to know what I'm gonna do to her. I might even have a piece of Daisy while I'm at it, as in Duke, not Duck."

"Huh?" Ron asked, clearly perplexed. Mordred sighed.

"Never mind. What I'm saying," Mordred said as he shook his head, "is if Hermione and I duel right now, that no one else interferes with it. There's no point in us all blasting each other with our wands so that passer-by's can get hit accidentally and end up losing us all points."

"Fine," replied Hermione challengingly, "come on down, you sick-"

Professor McGonagall, who came striding out the door in a determined gait, interrupted them.

"What is this I'm hearing about _fighting_ between students?" She demanded of them all. Mordred answered as he hopped down from the rock.

"Fighting?" he asked in a falsely surprised manner. "No, no _fighting_ here. I was just asking Hermione out on a date, but she was insulted to hear that I didn't know she was already dating someone, so instead we all decided to practice our Magical defences instead. House unity and all."

"You're not allowed to practice Magic in the school halls!" McGonagall snapped at him sternly.

"Yes, but we're not _in_ the school halls," Mordred pointed out in a dangerously sly manner that got a scowl from McGonagall, "we're outside."

"Well, be that as it may," said McGonagall sternly, "you're not supposed to be practicing Magic outside of classes. School rules."

The students all dispersed, each group going their own way. That night, Buffy and Faith both stopped Mordred and talked to him before going out Patrolling.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed or expelled or something?" Buffy asked sternly. "What is wrong with you? The girls in Gryffindor are about to kill you, and from what I've been hearing, the Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin girls might just lend them a hand in spite of the House rivalry."

"You know what I never got about the Harry Potter books?" Mordred asked the two girls. "Harry is surrounded by girls around his age, all on an island, and there's not even a single creatively used Magic spell so far! It's insulting. I just know there are spells that can make the clothes vanish in an erotic 'poof'."

"Hey Mordred." said Faith. "You've been doing a good Kenny from South Park imitation with your hood on at all times."

"Thank you." Mordred said. "I like to think of it more as an 8-Bit Theatre Black Mage or Darth Sidious immp-"

"Unless you want to go through all of his deaths personally," Faith cut him off dangerously, "you'd better shut up right now." Faith then walked around Mordred, who was backing off from between the two Slayers.

"How did you make those pictures of us?" Asked Buffy angrily as she held out a blurry picture of herself nude. "Do you have your snakes holding cameras now?"

"Not telling!" Called out Mordred, and with that, Mordred took off in a flash, grabbing his broom and flying through the air. The Slayers went Patrolling and took out their frustrations on some Boggles, Felhounds, and Octobrains that they found, and when they got back to the Castle they were still too wound up to sleep properly.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: When yah gotta go . . .**

On the Monday of the second week, everyone was on edge as they all expected their first class to be the one inspected by the new Hogwarts High Inquisitor. They had all received "Revised Editions" of their current textbooks from the Ministry to go along with their current textbooks. The first class of History came and went without incident, as most of the kids slept through it (Dawn, Hermione and Mordred being the only exceptions). Potions also didn't have Umbridge in it, as Snape marked their essays on Moonstones, giving Harry a D while giving everyone else higher marks that were still low on the basis of them being in preparation for their O.W.L.s. The only students to get exceedingly high marks were Mordred and Dawn, who had both given Snape essays that were twice as long as he had asked for, and with more details on the properties of Moonstones (although Hermione did the same thing, her being a Gryffindor _and_ a Muggle born got her lower marks.)

After class the Gryffindor students compared and complained about their marks during lunch. Buffy was listening to Hermione and George talk about the marking scheme in Hogwarts when she noticed that Dawn wasn't at the Slytherin table. She walked over to there and went to Faith and Mordred.

"She's just in the washroom," said Faith, "she was complaining about how unfair it was that us three could go Patrolling when she can't and I was thinking -" Buffy cut her off.

"No, and that's final." Buffy said sternly. "The one time I did take her Patrolling she freaked out, and you've both seen what types of monsters are in the Forest. We can't -"

Suddenly, Peeves the Poltergeist came flying down the center of the tables, shouting along the way.

"Trolls! Trolls! A gang of Trolls have infiltrated the building." He shouted, scaring all the students. "They're at the girl's washroom!"

This caused the school to panic, but Dumbledore called for silence and told the Prefects to take their charges into their dorms. Ron and Hermione were guiding the younger students along towards the Gryffindor Tower, with Hermione in front and Ron bringing up the rear, when Harry grabbed each of them and pointed out that Buffy was no where to be found.

"Oh no," said Hermione despairingly, "she's trying out her strength on the Trolls. They'll kill her for sure."

The three students rushed off to where the girls' washroom was at, but had to negotiate their way through the crowd of students while hiding from various teachers who were going about before they could get anywhere near.

Meanwhile, over in the washroom, Dawn found herself in quite a pickle. She was coming out one of the bathroom stalls when she spotted a huge Mountain Troll standing over her. It reared back its club to take a swing at her, but she quickly pulled her wand out of her robes and Levitated the club out of its hand, dropping the club on its bald head and knocking it out cold. She felt quite proud of herself as the enormous Troll dropped unconsciously on its ugly face until she saw the other Trolls in the washroom as well, each shoving one another in order to be the next one to attack her. She dove underneath the stalls where she crawled around on the floor to avoid the clubs they used to smash through the stalls as they tried to pound her into goop. She had gotten to the last stall when Buffy, Mordred, and Faith came barrelling into the room, with their wands and each of the Slayers were also brandishing melee weapons.

Buffy leapt into the air and landed on one Trolls' head, her legs wrapping around its neck. She swung her axe at one of other nearby Trolls, chopping its head in two like a giant green rotten apple and dropping it to the ground, the axe sticking out of its split head as its brownish brains all poured onto the floor like used toilet water. She then squeezed her legs together and spun quickly, snapping the first Trolls' neck like a twig and diving clear as it fell to the ground with a sickening crunch.

Faith had taken her sword and jumped at a Troll, plunging her sword into its chest and slicing all the way to its groin, spilling its guts out onto the floor in a greenish brown mess while it stood there tottering before it dropped to its knees and tried to collect its still steaming guts back into it in vain. She then liberated the club Dawn used to knock out the first Troll, and smacked another Troll in the groin, mashing its particulars and causing a patch of blood and urine to pour from between its hands as it clutched its groin and dropped to its knees. Faith then hauled the club back like a cross between a golfer and a baseball player, as the club was awkward to carry, and swung it with all her might at the creature's head. Her shot smashed the Troll's head off, splattering the walls with Troll brains and blood. The headless corpse of the Troll reared back and fell lifelessly backwards as its knees both broke under the pressure, causing bone fragments to stick out as its body came to a rest. The wall behind it could have been mistaken for a near-sighted child's poor attempt at making a forest, as it was covered in fecalish brown and green colours from where the top of the Troll's neck was still spraying a geyser of blood at the it while its brains stuck to it like a dirty diaper.

Mordred cast a _Sectumsempra_ spell on one Troll using one wand, cutting its head with a nasty gash that ran across its eyes and spurted Troll blood from its face. As the blinded Troll roared in pain, Mordred used another slash to cut its ankles out from underneath it, causing the blinded Troll to drop to the ground as its feet sprayed green blood into the air. He then took his time in making some more cuts to the Trolls' wrists, along its arms and legs, and twice across the stomach (vertically and horizontally). When the Troll raised itself up, Mordred pointed both his wands at it and then spread them apart, causing the cuts on the Trolls' stomach to open up and pour its guts out in a steaming green and brown mess on the ground while the Troll itself fell backwards to sit against the wall. Mordred then zapped another Troll with electricity, stunning it long enough to float another club into range to slam it sharp end-first into the Troll's belly, punching through its back and severing its spinal column before pinning it to the wall where it vomited blood all over itself as it struggled and died.

The battle lasted about five minutes, but it felt like more to the people there. Buffy had just gone over to Dawn to see if she was ok, when Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall entered the bathroom, followed by the Golden Trio whom they had caught just before hearing the commotion in the bathroom. They all stood in astonishment as they looked over the Trolls. One seemed to be unconscious, for the moment at least, whereas the others were surprisingly all dead and dismembered.

"What on Earth were you thinking of?" said Professor McGonagall furiously while adjusting her glasses. "You're lucky you weren't killed. Why aren't you in your Common Rooms?"

"We were _thinking_," Faith said, staring at McGonagall defiantly, "that we should try and save a friend who didn't know anything about the Trolls coming into the school in the first place. Or would you rather we let her die?"

Before Dawn could intervene and stop Professor McGonagall from taking points away from her House, she was cut off by a loud thud. The Troll Dawn had knocked out previously had moved its head, making Dawn aware of what was about to happen.

She got an axe from where Buffy had left it in one Troll's head and yanked it out of the gore, before she went to the awakening Troll and swung it down as hard as she could at the Troll's head. She was not a Slayer though, so the axe missed the neck and hit the Troll's head with a loud thwack. While the Professors and the Golden Trio looked on in surprise, Dawn stomped down desperately on the axe handle with all the strength she could gather. There was a loud crunching sound as well as a bit of a popping sound as the bone broke and the axe bit deep into the Troll's head, causing blood and brain matter to go gushing all over Professor McGonagall's feet before the crown of the Troll's head came off of it. Dawn then took the axe and stabbed the rest of the brain that was still in the Troll's head with the handle end, plunging it all the way into the Troll's exposed brain until it was at the tip of the axe before quickly pulling it back out again, making the Troll brains go gushing all over the floor.

Both Professors looked to the crown of the head and then back along the stream of blood and gore to Dawn again, their mouths both pressing into firm lines. Ron's mouth gaped like a fish out of water; Harry looked at Dawn with pure shock on his face, and Hermione looked like she was about to throw up from all the carnage around her as she tried to back out of the room. Buffy and Faith were looking at her with nothing but pride, while Mordred was searching around the Troll corpses and taking various items from them such as their blood, teeth, and skin samples. He also picked up the pieces of Troll brains and guts and stuffed them into his bag after waving it at Hermione when he got close enough to her.

Dawn blushed and suddenly felt that she should give some kind of explanation for her actions, to break the silence and stop the Golden Trio as well as the Professors from staring at her, if nothing else. _It was no big deal_, she thought to herself, _Buffy had fought a Troll armed with a Troll-God Hammer, and this was just a little lackey in comparison_. She shifted awkwardly under their staring eyes.

"What? It was waking up!" She said indignantly. "I had to make sure it was dead, that's all." Faith choked back a laugh and looked at Buffy.

"Your sister's getting wicked strong, B". Faith said with pride.

"I know," Buffy muttered before looking at the Professors before trying to say anything to them.

"Wow." Said Ron and Harry in union, before Hermione slipped on some Troll guts and fell to the ground, which she then began spraying liberally with vomit when she tried to scream.

That got everyone's attention for a moment, as McGonagall went over to lead Hermione off to clean her up. She beckoned the Gryffindors to follow her, while the Slytherins went with Snape to their Common Rooms, where everyone was told the threat was over and it was ok to go to their next class. McGonagall awarded Buffy five points for "sheer dumb luck" while Snape awarded the Triumvirate twenty points each, with an extra five for Mordred for collecting fresh samples from the Trolls for potions. They then all went to their Elective classes.

In Divination class, Buffy, Harry, and Ron found Professor Umbridge sitting behind Professor Trelawney, taking notes as Trelawney passed out books to the students. As Trelawney checked over the students' homework, Umbridge followed her like a shadow, asking the students questions about how they found it in Trelawney's classroom. Afterwards, Umbridge asked Trelawney various questions about her tenure at Hogwarts before asking Trelawney to make a prediction on the spot for her. This put Trelawney in a fuss, as she couldn't do one right on the spot, so she became rather snappish at the students afterwards.

During the Defence Against the Dark Arts class, Umbridge told the class to read Chapter Two of their textbook, but Hermione, Dawn, and Mordred had already read the entire book, so Hermione decided to ask questions about it. Umbridge went over to Hermione's desk and whispered to her, but Hermione talked in a normal voice so everyone could hear her questions.

"Slinkhard says 'counter-Jinxes' are improperly named," Hermione was saying to a question Umbridge had asked, "and that they're only named that way so that people can make their Jinxes sound nicer."

Umbridge went back up to the front of the class and kept her back turned to them.

"Miss Granger, I'm going to take ten points off of Gryffindor," she said in a sickly sweet manner while the students muttered behind her back, "for disrupting my class with pointless interruptions." She then turned around to face them all, plastering a fake smile on her face.

"I am here to teach you a Ministry-approved course schedule," she said smoothly, "that does not include allowing students to question what Ministry-trained Wizards and Witches before them have set on the pages of the books set for this class!" She then glared at the Gryffindor side of the class.

"While some of your other teachers may have let you get away with class disruptions, none of them," she then added icily with some venom laced on top, "with the exception of Professor Quirrel, who at least stayed within course subjects that were appropriate for the age group, would have passed Ministry approved inspections were they to have them."

Harry was about to interrupt her, but Buffy clamped a hand over his mouth and stomped on his foot.

"What was that?" Umbridge asked, looking over at the sound Harry had made.

"Oh, nothing." Buffy supplied. "I uh, just dropped my book on his foot, clumsy me."

She then bent down to the floor and grabbed up her book (which she had in fact dropped beforehand) and whispered in Harry's ear as Umbridge went back to lecturing the class.

"She's just trying to goad you," Buffy whispered into Harry's ear before getting back up, "don't let her or you'll get another detention."

She then set her things back on the table and went back to pretending to listen to the teacher with everyone else, and after awhile Umbridge came back to trying to goad Harry into exploding again. Every time Buffy did something different whenever Harry was about to speak up; she kicked his shin, splashed him with ink, dropped her books again, and toppled her entire desk over, knocking over Harry as well.

"Ten points off of Gryffindor," snarled Umbridge while Draco and his goons laughed, "for sheer clumsiness! Should I give you a detention for being an annoying clown in class, Miss Summers?"

"No ma'am," replied Buffy as she thought _Ok, lets try a different tactic. _Buffy then took out her wand as she and Harry got up.

Before Harry could sit down Buffy jabbed her wand at his head from behind him and cast a Silencing Charm on him, so that for the rest of the class he wouldn't speak. When class let out Harry got in her face before dinner. She undid the spell, expecting him to thank her. Instead, he exploded at her.

"WHERE THE HELL DO YOU GET OFF DOING THAT SORT OF STUFF TO ME!?" He screamed at her in the Gryffindor Common Room. "THAT UMBRIDGE BITCH WAS SAYING-"

Buffy slapped him across the face, knocking his glasses askew, before grabbing him by the front of his robes and slamming him up against the wall. This shocked everyone in the room, even though they knew she was strong. She slid him up the wall until she was holding him by the shirt over her head before speaking to him.

"I've had enough testosterone induced _crap_ from you as I'm going to take!" She said to his face in an angry voice. "Maybe here in Britain people allow their friends to yell at them, but I don't have the time or patience for that sort of garbage."

Buffy then let Harry drop back to the ground and turned to walk towards the girls' dorm, before turning to talk to Harry again.

"I'm _sorry_ that all this has been happening to you," she said, "but you really do have to get a grip on yourself or else Umbridge will have you in detention every night for the rest of the year, or worse." With that, she went upstairs while the rest of Gryffindor stared after her in shock.

Later that night, Faith and Mordred helped Slay, but allowed Buffy to have the brunt of the damage, as she had enough anger in her to burn down a forest. When they found four-dozen Bull Demons in one of the caves they were Patrolling Buffy blazed through all of them on her own. She grabbed the first to charge at her by the horns and began swinging it around and around, knocking over the other Bull Demons that rushed her. She span it so fast that it created a small tornado before she launched it at two other Bull Demons, causing all three of them to go soaring into the air before splattering against the wall. She then grabbed up a Morning Star and charged into the crowd of Bull Demons while swinging it wildly over her head. She smashed every Bull Demon on the nose with it as she passed by. She wrapped the chain around one Bull Demons neck, impaling it in the head with the spiked ball, and then began spinning with it like an Olympic-style hammer. She smashed her way through the Bull Demons, sending them all flying into the air while Faith and Mordred took pot shots at them before the hapless Demons hit the ground. By the time Buffy had tossed the Bull Demons corpse away she was rather dizzy, but all the Demons there were dead.

"You've got some seriously good quality rage going, B." Commented Buffy when she was finished killing off the last Bull Demon. "You should get into shouting matches more often with Harry, you two make good screaming partners."

"No thanks. I had that with my own mom and dad, no point in reliving that cycle myself." Buffy said. "Besides, I missed dinner because of that. I'm starving."

"I know a way to help that." Said Mordred. "Just get some food in yah."

"You can cook?" Asked Faith. Mordred laughed.

"I can burn water just by looking at it," supplied Mordred cheerfully, "but the Castle Elves can cook, and the kitchen is always open. I say we just mosey on down there, grab up some grub, and if Filch or any teachers show up we just wave the notes Dumbledore gave us and say something about this being a holy feast or something."

"That'll work." Said Buffy as they headed back to the Castle. "Thanks you guys, you know how to cheer me up."

"I can't stand to see you so upset, unless it's from a spider down your robes—" Mordred stopped to consider this. "Hmm, that gives me an idea. Note to self for later: put a spider down Buffy's robes."

Laughing, they went back to the Castle where they raided the kitchens for all sorts of food, even bringing Dawn some food for her as well.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: Curiosity-Caused Crisis**

On Tuesday morning, Buffy found Harry not talking to her or Hermione during Charms class, but during Transfiguration class they found out that Umbridge was overseeing things again. Whenever Umbridge tried to interrupt the class, McGonagall either ignored her or shot her down with a quick comment, disallowing her to take over the class like she had the others. After the class, the Golden Trio and Buffy waited around while Umbridge asked McGonagall asked her questions about her tenure at Hogwarts, and then rushed off to Care of Magical Creatures. Umbridge also overviewed this class as she asked Professor Grubbly-Plank various questions. Some of the questions included where Hagrid was located and why he wasn't teaching, but Grubbly-Plank said she didn't know. When Umbridge asked about any injuries in the class and Pansy spoke up about the Hippogriff Buckbeak hurting Malfoy, Dawn put a Silencing spell of her own on Harry, so he wouldn't get a detention for speaking up again. Luckily Umbridge didn't show up to oversee Herbology, so everyone didn't have to worry about Harry doing anything stupid (although Mordred did Levitate some Dragon dung onto Harry's head just to get a rise out of him).

That evening, Buffy went to the Golden Trio before going Patrolling, and helped Hermione and Ron pitch the idea of Harry teaching a Defence Class of his own. He thought it was nuts, and even said so, but before they could finish their conversation Buffy had to go. That's when Hermione unveiled a second idea that was not originally in the book.

"You remember on how you two tried to follow Buffy when she went Patrolling?" Hermione asked. The other two boys grimaced as they remembered that experience.

"Now, I'm not saying we should violate another person's religious belief's," cautioned Hermione, "_but_ I think we should try finding out what's going on with those four. They're obviously talking together about stuff that's happening in school, so it's not all prayers and sacrifices that are going on out there. If we are to really try this idea of you teaching," Harry grumbled "or not, we have to figure out whether or not we can trust Buffy to not blab to her Slytherin sister, or her other friends for 'religious reasons'."

"What do you propose we do?" Asked Harry. Hermione pulled out some fresh Lacewing flies, some leeches, some knotgrass, and some pickled fluxweed. Harry recognized the ingredients immediately.

"You want to make some Polyjuice potion." He stated. Hermione nodded her head.

"All we need to do is stew the lacewing flies for twenty-one days, add some powdered bicorn horn and shredded boomslang skin, and then we have ourselves a Polyjuice potion." Hermione said triumphantly.

"But why do we need Polyjuice potion for?" Asked Ron. Hermione gave an irritated look before answering.

"So that we can get in close with the 'Triumvirate' and see what they know." Hermione said. "They're up to something, I can just feel it."

"You're just jealous Dawn and Mordred are as good as you are in classes." Said Ron laughing. Hermione scowled before replying.

"_How_ are they as good in classes?" Hermione asked. "_How_ come they seem to know so much about what is happening before it happens? _How_ did they take out all those Trolls, and in such a brutal way? We need to find answers to all those questions, as like you said at the beginning of the year," she turned to Harry, "they could actually be sending messages to V-Voldemort."

Ron winced at Hermione's use of the name, while Harry sat back thoughtfully. They then agreed to begin getting more supplies for the potion and then went to bed. Hermione stayed up just a bit until Buffy came in at around one o'clock in the morning, covered in grass stains and sweating profusely. Buffy paused while getting dressed and looked at Hermione, knowing she was awake. Each stared at one another for a while before Buffy went to bed.

The next dayHermione didn't broach either subject again with the two boys, as Buffy was around them at all times. Dawn tried to get Hermione's attention, but couldn't come up with a way to say she knew what Hermione was up to in regarding Defence classes without making Buffy look like a squealer, so she let it pass while Mordred and Hermione went to Arithmancy class while she and the others went to Divination. During Transfiguration the students were taught on how to Vanish mice (again, when Hermione went up to Vanishing kittens Faith, Buffy, Mordred and Dawn followed suit in a bizarre game of one-upmanship). Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures both dealt with handing in homework, working on the subjects at hand (they were taught about how to identify Flitterbloom from Devils Snare in Herbology while learning how cats and Kneazles can interbreed in Care of Magical Creatures) and taking back homework that they didn't finish during class. Again, Hermione was neck and neck with Dawn, while Mordred was having a harder time with Creatures as the felines all hissed at him for some reason. After dinner they studied maps of the stars in the sky for Astronomy (the two Slayers and Mordred went Patrolling before and after the class, as it was getting harder to find a nest of monsters that wasn't already at war with another nest of monsters).

On Thursday the Golden Trio went around getting ingredients they needed for the Polyjuice potion, when Ron caused a commotion in Snape's class that allowed Hermione and Harry to go into Snape's study and get the ingredients they needed. After they got all the ingredients they needed, they set it all up in the girl's washroom with Moaning Myrtle watching.

"I thought you said you gave up that past time?" She asked as she floated through the stall.

"It's for our Potions class," said Hermione, "nothing more."

"Maybe you could get help from the Slytherin Triumvirate?" suggested Myrtle, getting an angry frown from Hermione, "they seem to know quite a lot about potions and spells, as they've modified several in here when they were talking to me."

"What did you talk about?" Asked Harry curiously.

"Why should _you_ care?" screamed Myrtle suddenly, floating upwards, "you've never even asked me what House I was in when I was alive, you only asked me how I died just to get into the Chamber of Secrets. That's all you care about, using me!"

With that, Myrtle splashed back into her toilet, causing a mess. The Golden Trio then finished up as much of their potion as they could, as they still had to wait twenty-one days for the Lacewing flies to stew, so they went back to their Common Room to study and do their homework. That night, when the Slayers and Mordred went Patrolling, they talked about upcoming events, mostly the Quidditch match at the end of the month.

"After the game," Buffy was saying, "everyone will see how strong we are, and that'll lead to more questions that we can't afford to have asked. More people will try following us out here, and eventually someone will see what we're doing."

"I hate to say it, but she's right." Mordred stated. "You ain't in Kansas anymore, let alone Sunnydale. People will wonder, and they will _talk_, and that always leads to speculation."

"Dawn had an idea," Faith said, "that we should try bringing up the subject of Slayers in History class. Sorta test the waters to see if there's any alligators waiting to jump out and try to eat us."

"Hermione said we were all myths," said Buffy.

"But she says that of all of Luna's theories," pointed out Mordred, "including Thestrals, which we'll be getting a lecture on by Hagrid when he comes back. We may as well see if there is an actual legend of the Slayer here as there is in your world, and see what it says about you. Otherwise, if someone finds out like Xander or Willow did with you Buffy, they may not take to us four the same way the other Scooby's took to you in Sunnydale."

"Ok, talk to Dawn, get her to ask the questions in History class on Monday." Said Buffy, resigning herself to Dawn's knowledge of the books to help them out. "I just hope not everyone freaks out over it."

They finished up Patrolling that night after a few more hours, finding nothing too dangerous to be worried about, before heading back to the Castle.

That Friday the Triumvirate had a study session in the library, so most of the school breathed a sigh of relief that Mordred wasn't going to pull another stunt like he did last week. Afterwards, they went down to the Potions lab where they made some extra potions for practice and for personal use, before going to the Room of Requirement to practice spells. During this Buffy and the Golden Trio were trying to avoid them, so they spent the time studying in their Common Room and finishing off some of their homework, which with both Hermione's and Buffy's help became that much easier to do (especially since whenever Ron tried to slack off, Buffy would poke him in the ribs with her wand).


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Hogwarts' History of the Slayer**

The weekend passed in a blur, with Patrolling as well as Quidditch practice (not to mention studying and doing homework). Buffy had watched her sister Dawn play the Seeker position, she was really good at it, and Faith was amazing as a Beater, nailing the Bludgers so fast and so hard that the House Professors all came out and told both Buffy and Faith to stop sending the Bludgers towards the school, as they couldn't afford it if the entire school was knocked over.

"At the rate both Buffy and Faith are going," said Ron while eating breakfast Monday, "we won't have a school to go to when the game starts."

Hermione shushed him, but Buffy grinned at his comment.

In their History class the students found Umbridge sitting next to the table before Professor Binns came through the wall. Although this caused a bit of worry, Buffy and Faith nodded their consent to Dawn, who held up her hand before Professor Binns could start the class.

"Professor Binns, sir," Dawn asked while Professor Binns and Umbridge looked on incredulously, "is there any truth to the Legend of the Slayer?"

There were instantly several grunts and murmurs as the students looked to the Professors, as there was now suddenly something interesting in a subject that they were accustomed to sleeping through. The students started quarrelling among themselves if the Slayer was a myth or not, meanwhile Buffy and Faith both tried to keep impassive faces on them.

"Why are you asking about The Slayer?" the nearby Pansy Parkinson asked. "Everybody knows it's a myth."

"I'm with that Slytherin twat." Ron said while Pansy glared at him. "Slayers couldn't possibly exist, and I think we're wasting our time talking about them."

"Me too." Neville chimed in sheepishly.

"I _think_ I recall something called the Slayer in any of the text books," Hermione added, frowning as she looked through one of her books.

"What do you think, Buffy?" Harry asked looking at her.

"Huh?" Buffy asked anxiously. "Oh about Slayers. Wellll-" she paused, searching for something to say while Faith looked on from her side of the class in worry.

"Well, I've only come across that word once during History classes back home in the States, but I fell asleep then so I'm not altogether sure what exactly a Slayer is." Buffy said cautiously.

"They're supposed to be these super invincible girls who kill monsters and are supposed to save the world whenever the Apocalypse is supposed to come." Said Seamus Finnigan with a mocking grin, and Buffy could tell from the look on his face that he thought it was nothing more than a big yarn.

"It's a nice fable," he said validating her thoughts, "but I don't believe it."

"Why don't you think it's true?" Buffy asked the rest of her Housemates while trying to remain calm. "Why don't you guys think Slayers exist?"

"Well, I think the whole idea of a Slayer is quite ridiculous really." Hermione said in an authoritative tone. "I mean honestly, _one girl_ Chosen to fight all the evil creatures of the world? How is she supposed to do that all by herself? It's completely impractical!" She got smiles and nods from most of her friends.

"They just don't." she said to emphasise her point.

"Well I think it could be proof for either," Harry announced cautiously after a moment. "There's no proof that they don't exist, and there's no proof that they do, so it could be either or."

"Great, now you both sound like Loony Luna." Ron stated. "Soon you'll be going on about Crumpled-Horned toads or something else equally insane. I can already hear mothers telling their kids 'don't be bad little Wizards and Witches or the Slayer will get you!'"

"Well, even if they do exist," Neville said with a shudder, "I hope I never come across one."

Buffy looked away so that the others couldn't see the rage welling up in her eyes, although the sound of her snapping her quill into pieces with only two fingers caught the faint attention of some (who automatically put it out of mind, since she was prone to doing that by accident anyways). _At least they think we're a myth_ thought Buffy, calming her a bit. _Just like back at home, so it can't be all bad news._

"Yeah, she'd beat the crap out of you," Ron taunted, "and you'd have to move to another country and change your name just so no one would know you'd been had by a girl."

Hermione scowled at Ron and was about to make some indignant remark when Professor Binns, after consulting with some books Umbridge had to hold for him to look at, spoke up.

"Quiet down, quiet down." He said while Umbridge rapped her wand on the desk. "In spite of what you all believe, Slayers did once exist."

This got everyone to quiet down immediately, as they all wanted to hear what the Legend of the Slayer was about. Mordred cracked his knuckles, neck, back and ribs loudly before looking on eagerly while the Slayers and Dawn watched in anticipation.

"Can someone read the Revised History of Magical Creatures textbook and tell me what the Slayer is?" Professor Umbridge interrupted, before Binns could say anything.

Each student looked into his or her Revised Edition textbooks without speaking. Dawn however, just stood up.

"'In every generation there is the Chosen One.'" She said verbatim. "'She alone will stand against the Vampires, -"

"The Demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.'" Buffy and Faith both muttered along with her. "Yadayadyada. She's so British, pass her a scone." Buffy said in a mocking whisper.

"Did you say something?" Hermione asked Buffy while looking at her oddly.

"Me?" Buffy asked in what she hoped was an innocent tone. "No, just mumbling."

"That's right. Ten points to Slytherin," Professor Umbridge said with a nod before Professor Binns cut in with his usual monotone voice as he read from the book on the table.

"'For as long as there have been Demons, the Slayer had existed.'" Binns said in a dry drone. "'She was born with the strength and skill to hunt the creatures of darkness.' Theoretically, there can only be one Slayer, as the next is called only when the previous Slayer has died."

"If they existed then how come the Ministry doesn't know about them?" somebody asked. There were murmurs of agreement.

"Oh but the Ministry _does_ know about them," Umbridge stated in an arrogant tone, "we just don't like to make it public knowledge, but we are very much aware of the fact that Slayers did once exist. If you'll taker out your Revised Magical Creature textbook, you'll find The Slayer listed under the danger-"

"What the Hell?" Buffy and Faith both said loudly and found themselves the objects of scrutiny of the class. They immediately started to blush, as they hadn't realized they had spoken so loudly.

"Sorry Professors." Faith said while trying to calm herself down. "Umm, what do you mean The Slayer is listed under Magical Creatures?"

"I mean, Ms. Lehane, just that." Umbridge replied looking annoyed. "You will find The Slayer listed under the Heading of Magical Creatures between Shrakes and-"

"But Professor I-she's not a creature, she's a human girl, Professor Binns just said so a minute ago." Buffy protested before adding. "And the same goes for Werewolves, they're humans too."

"Ten points from Gryffindor. Your hand is not up Miss Summers!" Said Umbridge sternly, but that didn't stop the other students from commenting on what Buffy had said.

"People?" Pansy sneered. "They're monsters."

Some of the Slytherins sniggered while Dawn, Faith and Mordred glared at them.

"That's not true." Buffy argued, but was cut off by Pansy.

"Oh yeah, what do you call someone, or should I say," Pansy said with a nasty look on her face "some _thing_, that turns into ravaging beast once a month?"

"An average female?" Ventured Mordred, gaining death-glares from every female in the room, including Umbridge. "They all go mad and bestial once a month, does that mean we get to lock them up too?"

He was about to add something more when Faith elbowed him hard in the groin, causing him to slump over and slide out of his seat to the floor, where he lay wheezing for a while. Buffy turned her attention back to Pansy.

"You just said it. They only turn into a Werewolf once a month. And it's only for three nights at a time. That's like less than a tenth of the month." Buffy answered before glaring at her. "What about the rest of the time? Should they _still_ be considered monsters?"

"Yes they should." Pansy shot back venomously. Buffy shook her head with a shudder before shooting back.

"And who are _you_ to judge?" Buffy asked. When she didn't answer Buffy continued. "You heard me, what makes you so different that you have the rig-"

"Twenty points from Gryffindor! Ms. Summers, will you please refrain from disrupting my class? If you interrupt me again I will be forced to give you detention." Professor Umbridge warned while Binns made a _harrumphing_ noise at her claiming ownership to _his_ class. "And as for your question, not only was The Slayer a Magical creature, it was considered to be _the_ most dangerous monster in the entire world."

Faith and Buffy were both so shocked that they were unable to breath, let alone speak, for a while. Buffy just sat there, gaping like a fish out of water. Both Mordred (who had gotten up off the ground now) and Dawn were trying to calm Faith down, holding her by the arms while whispering to her, but they could only watch on in despair as Buffy stood up from her seat.

"WHAT?" Buffy asked disbelievingly. "Dangerous! You've got to be joking. Her whole job is to save all of your hides from the every evil you can imagine, how can that make her dangerous?"

"Ms. Summers, you have detention for the rest of the week and have cost your House another fifty points." Umbridge said sternly before turning back to the class with a false smile on her face. "Now does anyone know how the first Slayer came into being?"

Hermione, who had been reading about the Slayer while Buffy was talking, tried to answer while Buffy sat back down to vicious glares from her Housemates.

"She was created-"

"Yeah, yeah," Faith interrupted while standing up, "some guys took the power, essence, and might of a Demon and channeled it into a young girl, who was chained to the Earth so she would not escape as she was filled with the spirits of Demons. Pretty brutal, but then how else was she supposed to get the strengths and skills to slay Vampires?" she added rhetorically. "And it's not like she had any choice in having that happen to her."

The whole class, including Umbridge and Binns, stared at Faith with open-mouthed shock. Faith sat down uneasily under their gaze, _uh-oh me and my big mouth,_ she thought with a wince while sitting back down.

"That, Ms. Lehane is, correct." Said Umbridge with a false smile that barely hid the surprise and unease on her face. "Tw - twenty points to Slytherin."

Buffy opened her mouth, but after getting kicked in the shins from all three of the Golden Trio she clamped her mouth shut, but she still looked livid.

"What in Merlin's Beard is going on? I thought she said she knew nothing about Slayers, but one word against them and she gets wound up as if she's been personally attacked." Ron whispered to Harry, who shrugged as he was just as baffled by his new Housemates' behaviour and had no answer to his friend's question.

"Can anyone read what the Revised History of Magical Creatures has to say about the Slayer's history?" asked Umbridge before Dawn put up her hand. "Summers, Dawn?"

"Ok." Dawn said standing up as she read from the book in an evenly fashion.

"'The Vampire Slayer: Possibly one of the greatest mysteries in this world is the mystical being known as the Vampire Slayer or the Chosen One, as some people call her. She is a human girl that is gifted with strength beyond that of any Muggle or Mage, as well as advanced fighting ability, swift reflexes, self-healing talents, and severely heightened senses.'" Dawn paused before continuing.

"'An organization known as the Watchers Council serves as the keepers of the Slayer line. Whenever a new Slayer is called, the Council sends out a mentor called a Watcher to find the girl and control'" (_here Faith and Buffy both chuckled at the term_) "'her in preparation for her destiny. Many Watchers are assigned to "potential Slayers" or girls who might become Slayers. Preparing them before the calling has helped to increase their lifespan, but not by much.'" Dawn then scanned what else she had to read.

"'Her intended duty is to fight anything that threatens the safety of humanity until her death. Naturally, the time between being called and the time of death are not that far apart. When one Slayer dies, the essence of the Slayer is immediately passed on to another girl to replace her.'" Dawn swallowed, remembering the sad fact that Slayers used to have to die before others were called as well as the times Buffy herself had died. "'The origin of the Slayer is shrouded, although it is commonly believed that she was created by a group of Witches and Wizards hundreds of years after humans came about, although others say that she has existed as long as the world has been around and only needed Magic to wake up her senses. No one really knows for sure, as all records have been lost.'" Dawn then grinned as she saw what else she had to read.

"'The most common sign of being called as the Chosen One is the vivid and alarming visions of the monsters she must face. The prophetic dreams Slayers experience during their lives serves as another example of their amazing power.'" Dawn said, before finishing it off. "'There are still many questions about the Vampire Slayer that the Wizarding world has failed to answer. One thing we know for certain is that the Slayer carries a high and lonely destiny.'"

"Very good Dawn, thirty points to Slytherin." Umbridge said before pulling out a very old looking legal form of parchment as Dawn sat back down.

"When the Ministry first started, the Ministry put up a new law which eliminated Slayers from the Wizarding world." Professor Umbridge read from the parchment. "Before that, Slayers were pretty much allowed to do whatever they wanted. They caused the massacre of several of the most important families in Wizarding history, as they were the ones who first thought of using Dementors as prison guards. These families were slaughtered in the most horrible ways imagined – men, women, and even children along with the Dementors they were trying to breed and train. When the Ministry came about, one of its first tasks was locating the then-Slayer at the time and catching her after one of her crimes. It didn't take long for us to find that the Slayer of that time, as she had not only murdered several Wizarding families but she herself openly proclaimed that she had killed them all without an ounce of regret. Therefore, the Ministry acted in accordance with one of its first lesser known laws and took all the necessary precautions to make sure that something like that didn't happen ever again; by wiping out all of the Potential Slayers. We did this by setting up many complex spells that were used to stop Potentials from being called when the Slayer dies naturally. After the spell was cast, the Ministry condemned the Slayer to death. We had to use many stronger spells, and even had to resort to several of our members using the Cruciatus and Imperius Curses on her before pushing her back into one of our disposal units inside the Ministry grounds, eliminating the threat from our society." Umbridge finished with obvious glee in her voice, and the class, which had been so quiet during the story, immediately began to murmur.

Pansy, who had noticed the shocked and hurt look on Buffy's face, glanced at her with a smug look on her face while somehow ignoring the glares Mordred, Faith, and Dawn were giving her.

"You see! They were all monsters anyways." She said with a laugh while her friends laughed along with her, which enraged Buffy to no end. Buffy again stood up.

"YOU WIPED THEM OUT?" She bellowed, a shocked look on her face. "You committed genocide on them? They weren't all like that!"

"Excuse me?" Professor Umbridge asked bewilderedly at Buffy's outburst. "Thir-"

"Just because that Slayer turned out to be screwed up doesn't mean that all Slayers are like that." Buffy said interrupting Umbridge.

Hermione jabbed her in the side with her wand, only for Buffy to nail her with an elbow, unknowingly breaking Hermione's nose. Harry and Ron attended to the injured Hermione while Umbridge answered Buffy.

"According to a research conducted by the Ministry," Umbridge said in a sickly sweet voice, "none of the Slayers that were called did their job like they're meant to."

"What does that mean?" Buffy said while ignoring her friends, who were tugging at her arms and kicking her legs to no avail.

"Meaning that they didn't use their powers to eliminate dark forces," Professor Umbridge sneered, "but instead used it to cause chaos."

"That's just a lot of _bullshit_." Faith accidentally muttered out loud without thinking.

The class went as deathly quiet as a tomb as Professor Binns took ten points off of Slytherin for swearing. From the way both Professors had gone rigid, Buffy realized that Faith had just offended them in a very dangerous way, but she herself was too steamed to care.

"Slayers risked their lives on a nightly basis to save your useless lives and that is how you repay them? You spread lies about them and wipe them out?" Buffy practically shouted, as she glared at Umbridge. "Did you use gas chambers to take care of the potentials or did -" Professor Umbridge cut her off.

"Ms. Summers, not only have you disrupted my class for the last time," Professor Umbridge said firmly, "you've also accused the Ministry of being liars. A further fifty points off of Gryffindor and you can show yourself out."

"Fine!" Buffy said picking up her bag and preparing to leave.

"And continue on to your Head of House's office!" Professor Umbridge said when Buffy opened the door to leave.

Buffy didn't answer but she made sure to close the door with a loud bang, which caused the door handle to break off in her hand and costing her House another ten points. Faith had almost joined her, but was held back by Mordred and Dawn, who were all luckily ignored by the rest of the class as they were watching Buffy go out the door. Buffy was so upset she couldn't see straight.

_Those ignorant- prejudiced- brainless – imbeciles!_ Buffy seethed in her mind, as tears unknowingly ran down her face while she stalked through the halls towards McGonagall's office, still holding the door handle in her hand. _Faith and I_ _spend most of our nights Patrolling, endangering our lives for their sakes and do they appreciate it? Nooo, instead they think Faith and I are extinct monsters that are to be wiped out upon sight. _She squashed the handle in her hands as she approached McGonagall's office, wringing it out like a wet towel. _And to believe that I was considering telling some of them about my Slayer-ness. After what they heard today, I can't even imagine how much they would wig out if they ever found out._ That thought upset her the most. She got to McGonagall's office and knocked on the door. When McGonagall opened the door she went inside before McGonagall could speak.

"I take it Umbridge managed to make you explode in class for some reason?" McGonagall ventured testily. Buffy nodded her head. "And is this for the same reasons Harry went to detention the first week in school?"

Buffy only shook her head without looking at her, not trusting herself to speak. McGonagall motioned her to sit down, then grabbed up a handkerchief and handed it to Buffy.

"Clean yourself up, and have a biscuit." McGonagall said before noticing the mangled doorknob in Buffy's hands. "I should warn you about your strength, as you seem to be breaking an awful lot of school property. You _and_ Faith." McGonagall added before sitting down across from her.

"Sorry about that." Buffy managed to say sheepishly, as she placed the mangled knob on the desk before grabbing the handkerchief and dabbing her eyes. "I just don't know my own strength, that's all."

"Indeed." Was the only reply McGonagall gave as she continued marking some quizzes she had. She finished off grading some papers before turning her attention back to Buffy.

"I should try keeping my temper if I were you," cautioned McGonagall, "especially since you now realize what sorts of attitudes some Wizarding families have towards the Slayer line."

Upon seeing Buffy's mouth drop open, McGonagall smiled thinly at her.

"I'm not as naïve as some people think," said McGonagall, "I looked up the Legend and voiced my suspicions to the Headmaster, who informed me upon the strictest of secrecy not to tell anyone about you or Faith's heritage. My only question is how there can be two Slayers instead of one?"

"I died," replied Buffy forlornly, "long enough to activate the next Slayer in line, and then I was brought back via CPR by a friend. _That_ Slayer then died, and Faith was called. That's why there's two of us now."

"Be that as it may," said McGonagall, "the reason why you both have shown tremendous feats of strength instead of just one of you is the reason why others don't suspect you both as Slayers. You have been really lucky so far, but eventually others _will_ start to have questions about you. I'd start to think up of a few reasonable answers."

"Yeah, I guess I'll think of something while I'm doing detention with Umbridge," replied Buffy.

"And I'd try to make an effort to salvage your friendship with Harry, Ron, and Hermione," added McGonagall sternly, "as from what I heard, Hermione had to be treated for the broken nose you gave her."

This caused Buffy to close her eyes and groan with shame, as she vaguely remembered hitting Hermione with a back elbow during her rant at Umbridge. She resolved to herself to try to make it up that night back at the Common Room if she had the chance, but before she could think of anything she was sent to her Potions class with a note to Professor Snape explaining her tardiness. She was grateful that Snape had paired each of the Gryffindor students with a Slytherin student, as none of the Gryffindors were talking to her, so she teamed up with her sister Dawn to make a passable Pepperup Potion (in spite of the fact that Buffy accidentally sent it flying due to her clumsiness, Dawn anticipated this and floated it back with a minimum of spillage.) Mordred worked with Hermione to make a rather complex antidote for Veritaserum, while Faith and Harry worked on an Aging Potion that was actually passed by Snape (mainly due to Snape's liking of Faith). When they were handing their potions in Buffy tried to talk with Hermione, but the potion that Longbottom and Crabbe did suddenly exploded all over everyone. Buffy jumped in front of Hermione and took the brunt of it, while Mordred covered his team's potion with his own body while putting a Shield over Dawn and Faith. Afterwards, Buffy and Mordred had to miss lunch in order to be treated for their wounds, giving them time to talk with one another in the hospital wing.

"I couldn't just let Hermione take more abuse," said Buffy when she was asked why she dove in front of Hermione by Madam Pomfrey, "and I didn't have time to try a Shield spell that may not have worked."

"I just wanted to get points for my own potion," explained Mordred, "cause I want to pass my courses even if it kills me."

Buffy and Mordred both had to rush to Divination class, where they did work on tealeaves. Buffy tried to work with Ron and Harry, but Ron glared at her and ignored her so she had to work with a different student instead. Afterwards, they went to DADA class, where they were told to read their books in silence. Although boring, Buffy was grateful for the lack of work as she didn't know what she would have done if she had to talk to Umbridge again that day. During dinner she tried to talk with Hermione again, but Angelina, who yelled at her for getting detention every day of the week and missing practice, interrupted her. Harry came to her defence, pointing out that Faith had said the same things during the History class and gotten away with it, allowing Buffy some relief of sorts. Her relief ended as soon as she went to detention, where she had to write out 'I must not lose my temper or tell lies' during each hour of detention, causing her hand to be cut up like Harry's was. On her way back she went into the kitchens, where she grabbed up a load of delicious chocolate chip cookies to bring back to her dorm. When she got there she went straight to the middle of the room and made a small announcement.

"Listen guys," she said to the group of glaring Gryffindors, "I'm sorry I cost us all those points by shouting at that bitch Umbridge. And I know that even though Umbridge is taking points off of us whenever she can, it still doesn't give me an excuse for what I did. So I figured I'd bring you some cookies from the kitchens and let you all know how sorry I am to you all, and that I really wish I hadn't of done what I had done."

"Hermione," added Buffy as she turned to the bushy haired girl, who was flanked by a worried Harry and a protective Ron, "sorry about breaking your nose. I really didn't mean to do that to you."

"It's ok," replied Hermione, "it was only my nose, Madam Pomfrey managed to fix it up back to normal. And I understand why you reacted the way you did."

"You do?" asked Buffy cautiously, fearing that even more people knew her secret.

"Yes, I felt the same way when I found out about the House Elves," answered Hermione to the muffled groans of both Harry and Ron, "that's the reason why I started SPEW in the first place. If you want to, we could start a similar thing for Slayers?"

"No thanks," replied Buffy with a sigh of relief, "let's work on liberating House Elves first, and _then_ worry about other species. Besides, Slayers are supposed to be extinct, remember?"

"True." Replied Hermione, but she didn't look like she believed it.

Buffy thought to ask her about it, but she had to go off Patrolling, so she decided it could wait until later. The Golden Trio gathered together as the others ate the cookies Buffy had brought up, and discussed their plans.

"Do you think Buffy could be a Slayer?" asked Harry curiously. Hermione shook her head.

"If she was, her elbow would have gone _through_ my head instead of just breaking my nose," she replied, "my guess is that she's just against bigotry like that, as it _was_ genocide they did against the Slayer race."

"Then what about Faith?" Asked Harry. "Or Dawn, why were they angry about the Slayer's treatment?"

"We'll find out when we use the Polyjuice Potion and go into their ranks." Replied Hermione.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" asked Ron. "Last time you got the hair of a cat and had to be treated for it."

"This time I got a hair directly off of Faith," Hermione said as she pulled out pair with a dark hair in it, "I got it off of her as we were passing by each other in the hall one day."

"We still need to get the hairs from Crabbe and Goyle." Said Harry, as the three of them devised plans on what day they should pull this off along with what questions to ask all throughout the night. They only came to a stop when Buffy came back from Patrolling, causing them to realize the time and hurry off to bed.

The next day both Double Charms and Double Transfiguration classes went smoothly, but at the start of COMC class they were told by Professor Grubbly-Plank that she decided to try a new style of lesson plan for the day.

"Good afternoon class," she began as they all gathered around her, "today I am here to find out what you all know about the difference between Werewolves and regular Animagi. Can anyone tell me the differences?"

As many of the students held up their hands, the Professor took her time in picking one to answer her question.

"Miss Summers?" she asked before clarifying, "Dawn, I mean."

"A Werewolf is a person who is normal for most of the time," she explained, "but for three days of the month he or she turns into a wolf-like creature that has no memory of its human form. It acts on pure instinct, with no conscience. It is predatory and aggressive to all whom come into its path."

"In other words," Buffy added from the side, "your typical male."

"Hey!" whined all the males on both sides of the class while the girls fell about cackling.

"Let's not jump to any conclusions." Said Professor Grubbly-Plank, although she had a smile on her face that she was failing to hide. Buffy held up her hands.

"I didn't jump!" she said defensively, "I took a tiny step, and there; conclusions were."

"Wouldn't it be more accurate to say it's a typical female," asked Mordred, "due to it going mad once a month and turning into a slathering beast with no self-control, reason, or accountability?"

This time it was the females' turn to cry foul while the males all laughed. Mordred turned around looking at all the laughing males in approval.

"It's the same reason we can't have a female minister," he explained, "we'd be attacking a new country every twenty-eight days."

This got howls of outrage from the females, and only a caution from Grubbly-Plank kept them from attacking him.

"_Is your head up your ass for the warmth?"_ Dawn asked Mordred as the Professor tried to settle the class down. "_You have diarrhoea of the mouth and constipation of the brain!_"

"You're never going to get married with an attitude like that." Draco said from Mordred after getting an elbow from Pansy. "What's with all the bashing of girls anyways? The right breed of girl is very good for you, yah know?" Mordred turned to him and grinned a fierce grin.

"Well, as a rule, I say girlfolk ain't to be trusted," he replied, getting even more fierce glares from the girls around him, "second of all, I'm of the mind that believes that marriage is the fate worse than death itself. If there ever was a spell to make a person instantly married the same way there's a spell to make a person instantly dead, then it'd not only become a Fourth Unforgivable Curse, it'd surpass the other three in terms of sheer horror." Dawn burst out laughing at this.

"Yeah sure, bash on marriage; let your real colours show!" she catcalled. "I mean, you men! It's all about the sex. Find a woman, drag her to your den, do whatever's necessary, just as long as you get the sex. I tell you, men haven't changed since the start of time."

"There are some good men," Pansy said as she tilted her head at Draco, "who, depending on their families, would make excellent husbands to a girl lucky enough to have them." Dawn gagged loudly and then gave her two-cents worth.

"Husbands?" laughed Dawn, "who needs a husband, or a man for that matter, anyways? They drool, they stink, they sweat, they try to hump anything that's not nailed down as well as some things that are . . ."

"Hey," cried Harry indignantly, "that's very insulting!"

"Sure it is," replied Dawn sweetly, "but is it _wrong_? Think about it." As the girls all laughed at this, Ron nudged Harry from behind.

"I don't know what's worse mate," Ron whispered to Harry, "her insulting us males, or you defending _Malfoy_ of all people."

Harry's response was interrupted when Mordred spoke up.

"Are you on the rag or something?" asked Mordred dangerously, "I'm just curious, as I don't want to slip in your blood or get hit in the head when you lot start throwing tampons at everyone."

"You better be careful about comments like that," said Professor Grubbly-Plank, who was now no longer smiling, "as I can't hold back all the girls if they decide to rush you. Now, if you all don't mind, let's get back to the issues of Werewolves. Can anyone tell me the reason why the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures has placed Werewolves in both Beast and Being Divisions?"

"They're in the Beast Division because," replied Pansy, "they're all hairy, drooling creatures with no self-control."

"So what if they're all hairy, drooling creatures with no self-control?" Asked Faith incredulously. "They're _men_, what did you expect anyways?"

This got the class back to raging over gender politics instead of the chosen topic, leaving the Professor to throw up her hands in defeat as the males and females all battled back and forth between each other. By the time the class was over, most of the students walked back tot heir dorms arguing heatedly before dinner started. Buffy actually felt rather glad she was having detention, as even though she was cutting up her hand, she at least didn't have to listen to any more sexist drivel for the night.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: Quidditch Match From Hell**

Although the tension had been building up to fever pitch all throughout the weeks before the first game, no one had any clue as to how much of a disaster it would be. People were not even subconsciously aware of what would happen, as the only thing they could believe would happen would be a hard, fast-paced game loaded with fouls and end up with the Gryffindors winning because Harry caught the Snitch again. Even with the game format being changed by Umbridge, people thought that there would be a regular (yet good) first game for the season, and even those who were looking for the best game of the year would have told you (if they were asked) that they 'were in for a good Quidditch match'. But by the time everything was settled and done with, everyone was left talking about the game not as if it were a Hogwarts game, nor even a World Cup game. Instead, they talked about it as if it was a glimpse of Armageddon, except with Mages on brooms instead of Angels and Demons flying and fighting throughout the air. Some said it was the best game of all time, and that the Final War itself couldn't have been fought harder. Others said it was the worst game of all time, as there was so many penalties that had the referees remained conscious, the game would have been thrown out even if the Snitch hadn't of been caught. But everyone agreed that the game itself would be spoken of in Hogwarts History as (for good or ill) one of the most memorable games ever played, and that was saying something.

During the Wednesday, Thursday and Friday before the game, the Gryffindor and Slytherin teams both attacked one another for the right to use the Quidditch Pitch for practices. They both wanted to be there first as they could use it for as long as they wanted to and cause the other to have to use it late at night, but they also wanted to use it after the other went first as the team using it could be spied upon by the other side. Insults and threats were also heard throughout the halls and yards, inciting many a fight that the Professors had a hard time from stopping even with threat of detention and loss of points.

"We've got Buffy the Beater, as well as Harry," catcalled Angelina at the Slytherin table as Buffy ate her breakfast, "what have _you_ got?"

Dawn perked up as the other Slytherins looked on while jeering.

"We've got our _Faith_." She called out, getting a snort from Faith and a roll of the eyes from many other Slytherins at the lame pun.

On the Thursday, the name of the person chosen to help Mordred commentate for the game was revealed, shocking everyone in the school.

"Hermione Granger is commentating with Mordred?" asked a disbelieving Ron, "she isn't Slytherin, why would he choose her to commentate with him?"

"Because she doesn't know anything about the sport," replied Ginny while out of Hermione's earshot, "he's banking on her making a fool out of herself while he praises Slytherin and takes cheap shots at our team."

Before Ron could reply to that, there was a small commotion as Luna Lovegood came over to the Gryffindor table, sporting a large Lion's head hat on her head.

"I'm supporting Gryffindor," said Luna, pointing unnecessarily at her hat, "look what it does . . ."

She pointed her wand up at it, causing it to roar loudly. Several students nearby clutched their ears, and Mordred in particular stared at Luna's hat with a veiled look of admiration. Hermione then walked over to Mordred as the others talked about Luna's crazy hat, and tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

"_Why_ did you make me your partner for commentating?" asked Hermione, "isn't there someone in your House who could help you insult people?"

"I had to appease the Professors," replied Mordred, "as they wanted fair commentating. Professor Snape said that Lee was biased for Gryffindor, whereas Professor McGonagall said having a Slytherin commentator would be biased for the Slytherins. So, we reached a compromise; I get to commentate with you as my partner."

Before Hermione could reply, Mordred popped out one of his wands and twirled it in his hands. He hawked up and spat on it, getting a disgusted look on Hermione's face as he rubbed it in his robe sleeves.

"Oh sorry," said Mordred as he noticed her sickened look, "maybe I should polish my wands the same way you do?"

He then popped out the other wand and inserted it blunt-end first into his mouth, where he gave a lewd performance of sucking on it.

"Oh wait," he said in mock surprise after popping it out of his mouth, "that's how you polish _Ron's_ wand, not your own!"

Hermione almost lunged at him, but stopped short of attacking him when she saw Professor Snape walking up to them.

"Your Triumvirate wants you out at the Pitch," sneered Snape, "something about you helping out with chants to counter the Gryffindor's monotone mantra?"

Mordred went over out to the Pitch along with the other Slytherins, who were either practising along with Faith or waiting for orders from Dawn.

"Hey guys," said Mordred, "I have an idea for some chants Slytherin could use against Gryffindor's 'Go, Go, Gryffindor' chant."

"I doubt you'll be allowed to get the crowd to chant 'shut the 'F' up'", said Dawn, "or any other similar chants during a match."

"It worked for ECW, didn't it?" said Mordred, "it could work for here. Which reminds me, I also have a few more ideas for Quidditch," he paused as he held out his hands for dramatic effect, "_electrified_ hoops, _flaming_ Bludgers, barbwire bats for _all_ players, _exploding_ Quaffles, & Rocket-powered Snitches. What do you think?" Dawn pretended to take a moment to think about it before answering.

"I think that you're delusional," she replied, "and that you must have watched way too much wrestling before you lost your memory."

They then all practiced, with Mordred shouting orders from the stands and Dawn and Faith generally ignoring him unless he said something useful. The Chasers practiced the Hawkshead Attacking Formation, Parkin's Pincer, and the Porskoff Pass. The Beaters tried to practice the Dopplebeater Defence, but Faith was too fast for Crabbe so they just worked on keeping the Bludgers away from their team-mates while striking them out at passing birds that Mordred Conjured to use in place of opposing players. They also worked on the Transylvanian Tackle on some of the other players, with Faith grabbing them if they fell. Keeper Bletchley practiced the Double Eight Loop, while Dawn worked on Wronski Defensive Feint and other Seeker tactics. They practiced for about six hours straight, and although the Triumvirate allowed occasional rest periods for the wearier players, they yelled at any of the players that tried to slack off. By the time they were done, it was the evening and most of them were good and tired yet looking forwards to the game on Saturday.

On the Friday, the Gryffindor players that didn't have classes all went out to the Pitch to practice while waiting for the players who were still in class. They all started out in a circle while passing the Quaffle, but at one point Buffy accidentally threw the ball too hard and knocked Ron off his broom.

"What did you go and do that for?" asked Angelina, "we've only got one Keeper, we don't need him in the hospital while we're missing the other players."

"Sorry," said Buffy, "I thought he could catch it."

"Or you thought that since your cousins and sister got rid of some of our teammates," Angelina shot viciously, "that you'd get rid of the others if you could to cause us to forfeit. How do we know you're not going to throw the game tomorrow just to appease your family?"

"I'm not going to throw any games," said Buffy darkly, "but I might throw _you_ into a nearby swamp if you keep on talking trash!"

"Any time, cheerleader!" said Angelina, but before they could get into each other's faces Harry yelled at them both.

"Enough!" he shouted, "both of you just cool it! Now, I know that Buffy has family who are Slytherins, but in case you forgot Angelina, it was _you_ who practically begged her to become a Beater in the first place. So apologise to each other and lets get back to practicing."

The girls both apologized to each other and they went back to passing the Quaffle until the other students came. Then, they began some of the same drills that the Slytherins did the day beforehand, although Ron didn't do a Double Eight as he was having a hard enough time just trying to get to the Quaffle whenever it was thrown at him. They finished off the game at around suppertime, and as they were picking their equipment up they noticed that it had begun to rain just slightly. Neither the Slayers nor Mordred spoke much when they Patrolled that night, as they were too busy looking for monsters hidden by the steady downpour of rain. When they found a group of Vampires they used their melee weapons (axes, swords, and pikes) to cut the Vamps into pieces before heading back to the Castle.

On the day of the game, the school all woke up to the sound of rain, sleet, hail and thunder. Flashes of lightening pierce the sky, and the spectators all gather into the stands in shivering masses as they try to take their seats.

(A/N: We shall now switch over to the announcers in order to get the best retelling of what happened, as the people who were supposed to be covering the game were all knocked out partway through it by rogue Bludgers)

**Game Time**

(Gryffindor goes into its usually "Go, Go, Gryffindor!" whilst Slytherin starts chanting "Score, Slytherin, Score!" as the rain, sleet and hail pounds the two teams as they come out. Hermione and Mordred give away their wands to McGonagall and Snape, respectively, as they take their seats in the announcing booth and put their mikes on their uniforms).

**Mordred's intro:** Ladies, gentlemen, and the rest of you freaks (which is basically most of you)! Welcome . . . to the Thunder dome!!!!

**Hermione:** What on Earth are you talking about?

**Mordred:** Oh yeah, my bad. Welcome to the very first Quidditch match of Hogwarts! I am one-half of the commentating team alongside the lovely Hormonal Granger as per my own request.

**Hermione**: That's _Hermione_ Granger, not Hormonal.

**Mordred**: OK, Hormonal Hermione Granger then, or for short, _Whore_-mione.

**Hermione**: Did you just call me a whore?

**Mordred**: Hey, whoring is a honourable profession, one that has certain ladies, which I personally believe, should be brought to Hogwarts as rewards for genius students.

McGonagall (_from the side_): Would you two please get on with announcing the game!

**Hermione**: Sorry! Ok, the teams are entering the Pitch! (To herself) That means we have to announce all their names.

**Mordred** (sarcastically): Duh, of course we have to announce all their names, it's not like the students in the crowd don't see them every day at school!

**Hermione**: First out from the Gryffindor side is their captain, Angelina –

**Mordred**: Hey Angelina! Those robes you're wearing look nice, but they'd look even better on my bedroom floor.

**Hermione**: Can you come up with a cheesier pick-up line?

**Mordred**: Ok, I will. Hey Ginny! Is that a wand in your pocket or are you just happy to shag . . . I mean, see me?

**Hermione**: I see you're not hitting on your own team's females.

**Mordred**: That's because they're part of my Ka-tet. I don't know about you, but I'd like to spread my genes _around_ a bit instead of keeping them all in the same stagnating pool. (_Pause_) Speaking of which, what are _you_ doing after the game?

**Hermione**: What . . ?

**Mordred:** What do you say we skip the game, slip in the back room and I show you my . . .

**Hermione** (_interrupting him_): You finish that sentence, and I guarantee you, you won't have anything left to show.

**Mordred**: That's not very nice. I'm offering you my body, and you're offering me threats.

**Hermione** (_Waves her hand indicating the rest of the crowd_): We're talking on microphones _everyone_ can hear, it's not like what you're suggesting would go unnoticed!

**Mordred**: (_after a short pause_) You're right, we _would_ have an audience of our own. What do you think we should charge them for viewing our live porn?

McGonagall (_again from the side_): Would you two get on with the announcing!

**Mordred**: Ok, ok! Captain and Chaser Angelina is the one that has a billion-Galleon body, but a half Knut brain! The other Chaser Katie Bell is the resident team dyke (which makes her an odd choice to go chasing after balls instead of boobs), and the final Gryffindor Chaser is the notorious Gryffindor Whore herself, Ginny Weasley, who was last seen groping with one of her usual clients in order to raise money for her syphilis.

**Hermione**: That's the most disgusting thing . . .

**Mordred** (_interrupting_): Why are you of all people saying it's disgusting? _You're_ the one who gave it to her after shagging last Wednesday on the top of the Astronomy Tower!

**Hermione**: I did no such thi . . . Shouldn't you be announcing your own House team?

**Mordred**: Nah, this is more fun. Keeper Ron is the one whose mom wanted a girl, his father wanted a boy, and neither of them was satisfied! Beater George is the one that has the IQ of two and it takes three just to grunt. The other Beater Buffy is the blond Bimbo from sunny California, land of Earth quakes, roofie shakes, and couples of all different sexual takes.

**Hermione**: You would insult your own cousin like that!

**Mordred**: Why not? I want to remain as impartial as I can be.

**Hermione**: As if anyone would believe that!

**Mordred**: They can if they want too, freedom of belief is a very sacred thing and I wouldn't want to jeopardise that. The final Gryffindor member is the Scar-faced Seeker Harry, who can spray blood from his scar in order to blind other Seekers from getting the Snitch. He's also known as the Antichrist in some circles, which is a rather lame sounding nickname if you ask me.

**Hermione:** You've hit on all of the girls and insulted almost everyone in the arena. What was the point of that?

**Mordred**: You can try introducing them next time!

**Hermione**: Ok, I'll introduce the Slytherins then. Chaser Zabini is the lost looking one that has never played Quidditch before in his life! The other Chaser Pucey is flying in circles.

**Mordred**: They're all flying in circles; it's called a warm-up!

**Hermione**: Yeah . . . well . . . the final Slytherin Cheater, I mean Chaser, is Warrington, a sloth-like member who would have never gotten onto any of the Gryffindor teams had he applied.

**Mordred**: Probably because he's in Slytherin and they're Gryffindor?

**Hermione** (_unsurely_): Slytherin Beater Crabbe is, well, he's . . .

**Mordred** (_interrupting her_): Crabbe is so fat; he has his own gravitational pull! _(Hermione stares at him in shock for insulting his own House member)_ Which makes him ideal for a Beater, as any Bludgers sent his way will just get caught in his orbit and go around and around him until he hits them back. The other Beater Faith is the crazy bitch that will slug and/or shag anyone she can for a victory for her team.

**Hermione** (_surprised_): They're your _own_ team –

**Mordred** (_ignoring her_): Keeper Bletchley is the one with the Jason Voorhees-style hockey mask on.

**Hermione**: Trying to keep his pretty face unhurt?

**Mordred**: No, he's gonna unleash his ugly mug the moment one of the Chasers come near him and kill them faster than a Killing Curse.

**Hermione**: Whaaaat?

**Mordred**: And the Seeker is Dawn, who is our 'key' to winning the game.

**Hermione**: Probably because you need her to catch the Snitch in order to win the game, which won't happen because Harry is faster, stronger, and the –

**Mordred** (_interrupting her_): And the crowd goes wild as the players line up in opposing formations and the referee Madam Hooch walks out onto the Pitch. Listening and looking at some of the people in the crowd, now I know why animals eat their young.

**Hermione**: You shouldn't insult the crowd like that.

**Mordred**: Why not? We gave them an IQ test before the match, and the results came back negative. I can just see it now in the headlines -- 'Big game draws mindless, brain-dead mob of students.' The caption under that reads: 'they appeared like locusts. Crawling around mindlessly bent on feeding and mating while the game wore on. Destroying everything in sight in their relentless, pointless desire to exist, they rooted for the teams to kill one another so that they could feast upon the broken bodies that fell from the sky.' How do you like it?

**Hermione:** Are you _trying_ to incite a riot or something?

**Mordred**: One would be rather fun to watch along with the game happening, now that you mention it.

**Hermione**: You'd never be allowed to commentate like this for professional Quidditch; one can imagine what you'd say to the Holyhead Harpies!

**Mordred**: The all-girls team? That sounds like a good idea actually. Imagine this (_holds hands out as if reading_): An entirely female Quidditch team wearing only bikinis or thongs flying through the air playing the game. (_Turns to Hermione_) What do you think?

**Hermione**: I think you're insane.

**Mordred**: You're absolutely right. What was I thinking? _Nude_ Quidditch is the only way to fly.

**Hermione**: Madam Hooch throws the Quaffle up in the air, and the game begins! Chaser Katie grabs the Quaffle and heads towards the Slytherin goals

**Mordred:** Just look at the way she rides that broom; I wouldn't mind her having a go at riding me that way.

**Hermione**: Too bad for you she doesn't ride creeps.

**Mordred**: No, she just rides everyone else that's available.

**Hermione**: Oh look, Harry just pulled off the Wonky-Faint thingy.

**Mordred**: Don't you mean the Wronski Defensive Feint?

**Hermione**: Whatever it's called, it almost worked on Dawn!

**Mordred**: But it didn't, and Dawn is keeping neck and neck with Harry as they both shoot off looking for the Snitch in this loving weather.

**Hermione**: The rain, sleet and hail that we're having will have just as much effect on the Snitch as it will on the Seekers.

**Mordred**: Only if it gets hit, and because of its small size and large agility factor, it'll be hard to hit. Both Seekers are like lumbering bears chasing after a single bee in this weather.

**Hermione**: Harry has a few tricks up his sleeve that Dawn won't know of.

**Mordred**: That's the spirit. Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat.

**Hermione:** Slytherin Quidditch motto?

**Mordred:** My favourite announcer's creed actually, right before he went into politics.

**Hermione**: Let me guess, he's the Minister of Magic now?

**Mordred**: No, Governor of Minnesota actually.

**Hermione**: Politicians shouldn't abuse the power that they are given by the people they govern.

**Mordred:** Not according to many famous leaders and sports figures. Remember kids; with great power comes great opportunity to _abuse_ that power.

**Hermione**: Story of your life right there.

**Mordred**: Speaking of stories, here's a small story I heard: A kid once challenged a court ruling over who should have legal custody over him. You see, he was being beaten by his family members regardless of who they were; his mom and dad beat him, his aunts and uncles beat him, his cousins and siblings beat him, his pet owl beat him, and so on. So, in an unprecedented ruling, the judge allowed the boy to decide where he'd be happiest.

**Hermione:** Where'd he end up at, and what does this have to do with Quidditch?

**Mordred:** Our very own Hogwarts team of Hufflepuff was granted custody of this boy, as the smart young lad stated his firm belief that they are obviously incapable of beating anyone.

**Hermione**: Watch it Harry! . . . Did you see Harry just dodge that bolt of lightening?

**Mordred**: He may be quick, but he's not electricity-proof, and if Harry goes anywhere near Faith, he is gonna get spanked like Bill Clinton's monkey in a hotel room full of interns.

**Hermione** (_sarcastically_): Could you come up with a viler thing to say?

**Mordred:** Ok, how about this: Faith is gonna rip into Harry like Michael Jackson into a ten year old boy! Happy now?

**Hermione**: Go ahead, make fun of Harry now. I can't wait to see the look on your face when Harry catches the Snitch!

**Mordred**: I'll admit that Harry's a good enough Seeker, but only when he's not too busy sniffing around Cho Chang's cunt!

_(A hush falls over the crowd as Cho Chang stands up in shock at what Mordred implied)_

**Hermione**: You - you didn't just say that.

**Mordred**: What did I say?

**Hermione **(_angrily_): I'm not repeating what you just said!

**Mordred**: Then I guess we'll never know, will we?

(Off to the side McGonagall: "What are you doing about this?" Snape: "I'm giving him last rites, as I don't foresee him living after this for very long.")

**Hermione**: Buffy and Faith are both batting back a Bludger at one another at top speeds. They're going so fast I can't even see where the Bludger is!

**Mordred:** The bountiful berserker beauties, with their buxom bosoms bouncing big-heartedly, blast boisterously into battle . . .

**Hermione:** Is there a quota of B-words you're trying to fill?

**Mordred:** To beat the bloody Be-Marilyn outta each other with Bludgers and bury their bats into each other's buttock's, as the bitchy babe beside me blabs between blows and breathes. (_To Hermione_) Yeah, actually I do have some quotas to fill.

**Hermione** (_sarcastically_): Good to know you have your priorities on straight!

**Mordred:** The captivating catfight careens cloud-ward as the cuties carry their comet-like conflict into a ceiling-less chase set to challenge a court of clashing champions. Daringly the double-D diva dogfighters dangerously dodge the damaging distractions directed at their derrieres. The empowered estrogen-pumping enemies are enthralling everyone with their ecstatic exploits in the ethereal expanse. This fantastic fight of flexible flying femme's flashes fatally faster and fiercer for folks of all forms. The gorgeous gilly-girls go . . .

**Hermione:** Could you just _stop_ with that?

McGonagall (_from the side_): The next letter is H, as in 'Hey Hermione; hit him hard!'

**Hermione**: Crabbe keeps on trying to hit the Bludger at Harry, but George keeps on blocking him by hitting the Bludger right back at him, making the big bully dodge for his life.

**Mordred:** Oh look! Warrington just scored the first goal on your shag-buddy Ron! Way to go, C-man! Listen to the crowd sing!

(Slytherins take this opportunity to start singing their 'Weasley is our King' song)

**Hermione** (_frustrated_): Katie grabs the ball as it drops and throws it to Ginny, who passes it to Angelina.

**Mordred**: All three hot babes I wouldn't pass up on if they wanted a non-golfing foursome.

**Hermione:** Can't you say anything nice?

**Mordred:** Ok. I wouldn't kick you outta bed if you were to crawl up next to me in it wearing only a thong. That's a nice thing to say ain't it?

**Hermione:** You foul, loathsome, vile little . . .

**Mordred:** Please, you're making me blush. Any more compliments and your boyfriend over there (_jabs thumb towards Ron's position, others don't see it_) will get jealous.

**Hermione**: He's not my – why you horrible slime!

**Mordred**: Angelina tries for a goal, ducks under the Bludger Crabbe fired at her, and she goes upwards out of the way of Crabbe's Bludger.

**Hermione**: Oh no! She drops the Quaffle –

**Mordred**: Into Ginny's hands, performing the Porskoff Ploy –

**Hermione**: And Ginny shoots the Quaffle into one of the hoops, gaining a point for Gryffindor!

**Mordred**: We're tied at one apiece now.

**Hermione**: All the Gryffindor fans are cheering loudly now; let's hear _them_ sing!

(Gryffindors continue chanting 'Go, Go Gryffindor!' as they don't have any actual songs yet to sing)

**Mordred**: Not singing exactly, but there is some chanting going on, not to mention some bouncing as there in the Gryffindor stand is Perverti Patil, waving her arms and shaking her –

**Hermione**: That's Parvati, not Perverti.

**Mordred**: According to the boys' locker room, as well as some of the girls, it's Perverti.

**Hermione**: You're not funny, even though you think you are.

**Mordred**: The Seekers both appreciate my sense of humour.

**Hermione** (_glaring at both Seekers, who were busily laughing and choking on the rain while they looked for the Snitch._): They're _gagging_, not laughing.

**Mordred**: Looks like laughing to me.

**Hermione**: You're just delusional.

**Mordred**: More like disillusioned, as I've now seen Romilda Vane, Laura Madley, Marietta Edgecombe and Millicent Bulstrode all in wet shirts. I'm thinking of going either to a monastery or blind right now.

**Hermione** (_sarcastically_): I think you missed insulting a few people.

**Mordred**: Oh, my sincerest apologies. If I'd of known there'd be so many ham-an-egger humanoids here today, I'd have brought my rapid-fire Potato Gun and about a billion rotten Ostrich Eggs.

**Hermione**: Not all the people here are as terrible as you make them out to be! Some of them are as good as anyone else!

**Mordred:** Lady, people aren't chocolates with chewy centres. Do you know what they are mostly?

**Hermione** (_irritably_): What?

**Mordred** (_deadpan_): Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard fillings and maybe a little psycho-frosting for variety.

Snape (_realising the truth of Mordred's statement_): I wish I could cry, but there aren't enough tears.

**Hermione:** Merlin's Beard, do you see that?

**Mordred**: You damn well know you can't swear or say shit like that in front of a live audience, what the fuck is _wrong_ with you?

(_Hermione and part of the crowd stare at him in stunned silence while others laugh. McGonagall yells at him for swearing_).

McGonagall (_yelling from the side_): Mordred Flaggson! If you don't watch your language, I'll replace you with someone else and give you detention for a month!

**Mordred** (_sheepishly_): Sorry ma'am. Won't happen again.

**Hermione** (_after recovering_): There's two extra Bludgers in the game! They're flying around the Pitch in a clock-wise circle. Madam Hooch is trying to get them, but she can't see them with all this hail.

**Mordred**: Oooooh, she saw that one! It flew right into her face! One ref down, time to party!

**Hermione**: Another ref is being called for as Madam Hooch is taken off the field.

**Mordred**: It's Professor Flitwick! He's trying to round up the extra Bludgers with his wand.

**Hermione**: It should be a lot harder for them to hit him since he's smaller and harder to hit.

**Mordred**: But he's easier to push around, as the wind is buffeting him and throwing him around like Tina Turner in one of Ike's drunken rages.

**Hermione**: Foul! Faith deliberately hit one of the Bludgers into Flitwick!

**Mordred**: But since he's the ref, and since the ref is unconscious, there'll be no penalties called.

**Hermione**: What a horrible trick!

**Mordred**: I wonder who the next ref is?

**Hermione**: Aha! Professor Sprout is up, and I think she heard your comment about Hufflepuff being a team that couldn't win?

**Mordred**: Crabbe tries to nail Buffy with a Bludger of his own!

**Hermione**: But she hits it back, sending it into his face and knocking him off of his broom!

**Mordred**: And into Professor Sprout, knocking her out as well. Is the referee position Jinxed now?

**Hermione:** Ginny is going for a goal as Buffy plays rear guard.

**Mordred:** Buffy's now just slugging and kicking every player that dares to draw near to her.

**Hermione **_(defensively)_: So is Faith!

**Mordred:** I know, isn't it beautiful? I feel tears of joy coming on . . .

**Hermione:** With her speed and strength Buffy lashes out like a lion at the Slytherin Keeper Bletchley. . .

**Mordred:** Angry pussy is always a scary thing to see, although also intoxicating at times.

**Hermione** (_To Mordred_): You're horrible, just horrible. You're even worse than Dra-

**Mordred** (_interrupting her_): Let me stop you right there before I am honour-bound to cut your face like an Elvish whore.

**Hermione**: A _what_? Do I even have to tell you how offensive that is?

**Mordred**: Look, if your mother cleaned people's teeth, I'd of called her a _dentist_ instead.

**Hermione**: She _is_ a dentist!

**Mordred**: My bad.

**Hermione**: Can you do anything more than insult people?

**Mordred:** Yes I can. Ask me about cooking cats for fun and profit. (_Hermione gives him a withering glare_) Oh, and they taste good too!

**Hermione**: You eat cats? You're joking, right?

**Mordred**: I've never been one to turn down a chance to eat good pussy.

**Hermione:** I'm . . . trying to think of a way for you to be cruder. I just . . . it's not coming.

**Mordred**: I can help make you start cuming if you like.

**Hermione **_(begins gagging)_: Gin – yeach – 'cored 'nother goa'!

**Mordred:** Wow, what a Kodak moment! Faith swipes an unconscious Crabbe's bat and barrels off screaming at the top of her lungs, looking to do some serious payback to the Gryffindors who insulted her.

**Hermione**: Both Seekers head to higher clouds.

**Mordred**: As well they should!

**Hermione**: Katie takes a Bludger to the head from across the Pitch!

**Mordred**: What a shot! It nearly took that twat's head off! Damn, this chick is pissed off! Look at the limbs, heads and entrails fly! Harry, Dawn . . . even Dumbledore is just watching with silent appreciation!

**Hermione:** Buffy has also gone into berserker mode; she's batting the Bludgers at Slytherin faster than I can keep count. Even Faith is staying clear of her, although she's attacking Gryffindor players with Bludgers of her own.

**Mordred**: The Slytherin Chasers just swarmed Buffy like locusts, now that they know there are no refs to foul them.

**Hermione**: Faith just hit a Bludger towards the Gryffindor goalpost area; she's trying to hit Ron with it. Get out of the way Ron!

**Mordred**: Ron ducked the Bludger as it passed by over his head –

**Hermione**: Whew, that was cl-

**Mordred**: Only for it to rebound off the post and strike him in the back of the head and knocking him out cold!

**Hermione**: Oh Ron!

**Mordred** (_leeringly_): Yah gonna run down there and give him mouth-to-mouth?

**Hermione** (_violently_): Sod off! George is furious; he's going after Faith with two Bludgers at once!

**Mordred**: Faith casually backhands one of the Bludgers George fired at her and sends him to visit his younger sibling in la-la land.

**Hermione**: Ginny and Angelina both get possession of the Quaffle and begin passing it between themselves, see how two Gryffindor Chasers best three Slytherins?

**Mordred**: Only until one of Faith's Bludgers hits Angelina in the back of the head, sending her unconscious yet beautiful body crashing into the wet grass below. Ginny manages to score another goal, but it's only a matter of time before she's knocked out as well.

**Hermione**: Pucey grabs the ball and flies with it, using Faith as a cover from Buffy and his two fellow Chasers as cover from the Gryffindor Chasers.

**Mordred**: He scores the goal.

**Hermione**: Ginny grabs up the ball again.

**Mordred**: Only for it to be knocked out of her arms by a well-placed Bludger that almost kills her. Zabini grabs it and scores the first goal in his life, getting the game up to three points apiece!

**Hermione**: The others are saved by Faith, who stopped a Bludger Buffy hit and sent it back to her!

**Mordred**: The three Chasers all converge on Buffy, throwing caution to the wind as they try to take advantage of the no-ref rule we have now.

**Hermione**: It's highly illegal what they're doing now!

**Mordred**: Not to mentions stupid, as Buffy –

**Hermione** (interrupting him): What a sight this is! Buffy is holding herself up on her broom with one hand, her quick feet and legs to disrupt everyone's swipes. It's truly an awe-inspiring display of flexibility as she modifies the Starfish Stick move into a fighting manoeuvre.

(Buffy smacks all three of them on the head with one bat-loaded roundhouse punch and two kicks, knocking them all out)

**Mordred** (continues): - can handle herself in a fight.

**Hermione**: Wow, now there's two Slytherins versus three Gryffindors. Maybe you guys should have thought about that before you began cheating and knocking out the referees?

**Mordred:** Unconscious bodies are just littering the floor of the stadium like a bloody carpet and the Beaters are still laying it down!

**Hermione**: Ginny is trying to grab up the Quaffle, but she's dodging three separate Bludgers as well as the one that Buffy and Faith are hitting between each other.

**Mordred**: She's trying to go for another goal to break the tie!

**Hermione**: She's at the goalpost, reaching back her right arm to throw it in –

**Mordred**: Wham! Bludger to the left arm, breaking her broom and sending her crashing down to earth. The Quaffle bounces uselessly off of the post and rolls to the ground.

**Hermione**: Ginny doesn't appear to be that hurt, as she's only holding her arm as the medics walk her off the field.

**Mordred **(turns to Hermione): Yah know, we work really well together commenting on Quidditch games. It's as though we were made for each other . . . (_holds out hands as if reading from a large billboard_) Beauty and the Beast. Of course, if any body else calls you a beast, I'll rip their lungs out.

**Hermione** (_sarcastically_): How thoughtful of you. And people wonder why you'll never get a girlfriend.

**Mordred**: What's the point in having a girlfriend when Ginny's available . . . to the entire school?

**Hermione** (_angrily_): I'm losing patience with you.

**Mordred** (_challengingly_): Oh yeah? Think of what little patience _I_ have as, oh, I don't know, _your_ virginity. You always thought it would be there, until that night last year when you were feeling a little down about yourself and your pal Vicky, who just wanted to be friends, well, he dropped by and he brought a copy of Kama Sutra and a four-pack of Mike's Hard Lemonaid and woo hoo hoo, it was gone forever - just like my patience is now.

**Hermione**: (stunned silence that has no words as her face bears a look of pure anger at Mordred.)

(Both look ready to fight when Mordred tackles Hermione to the ground. Professors Snape and McGonagall both charge in only to be hit with the rogue Bludgers that Mordred had knocked Hermione out of the way from, knocking the two teachers out cold. When they both get up Mordred switches off their mikes momentarily.)

Mordred: You ok?

Hermione (surprised at his gesture of kindness): Y- yeah, I think so. What about the Professors - ?

Mordred: Let's let the medics worry about them while we get back to entertaining the crowd, ok? You up for that?

Hermione: Yeah - yes I am. Let's go.

(After they both put their mikes back on the medics tote the Professors away)

**Mordred**: Keep the Bludgers in the field yah jackasses! Faith grabbed the Quaffle and is heading towards the Gryffindor goal post.

**Hermione**: She can't do that; she's a Beater, not a Chaser!

**Mordred**: Actually, from what the scoreboards have been saying, both of them can and have been while you and I were down. And she scored a goal, breaking the tie to – twenty? For Slytherin and nineteen for Gryffindor! How'd they get that high already?

**Hermione**: Two can play at that game! Buffy grabs the Quaffle, and races Faith back to her own goal post.

**Mordred**: She shoots –

**Hermione**: And scores, tying up the game again.

**Mordred**: Both players are moving so fast; they're able to score goals before we even see them happen almost.

**Hermione**: But they're not fast enough to block any of the goals. They're now up to the fifties in points and neither girl is slowing down!

**Mordred**: They seem to be speeding up, actually. They're effortlessly dodging the four Bludgers as they go back and forth from one set of goal posts to another!

**Hermione**: Sixty points apiece alre – no, wait! Seventy-eight – they're going too fast for me to keep up with!

**Mordred**: And they seem to be going too fast for the boards to keep up with, as the numbers are just rising and rising!

**Hermione**: How can they be so fast?

**Mordred**: I have no idea, but they are scoring, as many goals as they can while the Chasers and Keepers are all out cold.

**Hermione**: I can't believe they're able to get away with this. Who's in charge of the scoreboard?

**Mordred**: It's automatic; it raises no matter who throws the ball into the hoop.

**Hermione**: So all along anyone could score a goal?

**Mordred**: Not if the refs stop it, then the goals are reversed.

**Hermione**: So these goals could be dropped back to zero if we get a new ref?

**Mordred**: No, they'd have to be kept as the first few goals were scored by regular Chasers, and Faith is a reserve Chaser, so if you want to points to be lost because the wrong people are scoring the goals, then it'd be off your own team!

**Hermione**: The scores are now in the hundreds each, as the Beater/Chasers are moving in a blur of motion across the Pitch!

**Mordred**: The score is rising higher faster than a Catholic priest's 'wand' in a daycare full of crippled boys!

**Hermione**: Three-hund – You're a sick person!

**Mordred**: I try my best to entertain.

**Hermione**: I'm not entertained.

**Mordred**: I am, and that's what counts!

**Hermione**: Four hundred points apiece! When will they ever stop?

**Mordred**: Only when the Quaffle is destroyed will they stop scoring goals.

**Hermione**: They'd need an awful lot of strength to do that!

**Mordred**: Both girls have gotten up to four-fifty apiece –

**Hermione**: And they're still scoring on each other!

**Mordred**: Wait, they've both grabbed a hold of the Quaffle nearby the Gryffindor goal posts!

**Hermione**: They're both struggling to get it from the other!

**Mordred**: Faith lets it go as Buffy pulls it back –

**Hermione**: Oh no!

**Mordred**: And lets it fly into her own hoop, making it five-hundred and fifty one for Slytherins versus five-hundred and fifty for Gryffindor. Man, the other Gryffindors will never let her live that down if that turns out to be the winning goal!

**Hermione**: Buffy grabs up the Quaffle again and races to score again on the Slytherins –

**Mordred**: Now it's the Gryffindors who are trying to tie things up, as the Slytherins are one point ahead with every Slytherin goal.

**Hermione**: They're moving even faster as they both surpass six hundred points each.

**Mordred**: As they dodge the Bludgers that are still flying randomly around the Pitch.

**Hermione**: It's wonder that none of them have hit the two girls.

**Mordred**: Or either of the Seekers for that matter.

**Hermione**: Where _are_ Harry and Dawn?

**Mordred**: If Harry were Dawn's type, I'd have said they were making out behind a shed while this was happening, but since he's not, they're both high in the sky looking for the Snitch.

**Hermione**: It's not down in the Pitch area from what I see.

**Mordred**: Even if it was, there's too many Bludgers there for the two Seekers to get through, plus the Beater/Chasers are moving so fast if anything got in their way they'd cut right through it like a hot knife through butter, like a piano string through tofu, or like a home-grown terrorist through US customs.

**Hermione**: Or like a Death Eater through the Ministry! (S_ees the weird look on Mordred's face_) What, you're the only one who can crack jokes?

**Mordred** (points to the crowd): Umbridge doesn't look like she's laughing much.

**Hermione**: Oh, oh well. I don't –

**Mordred**: The Bludgers almost hit the Sla - the slowness-deprived ladies as they continue to travel across the Pitch at Mach ten speeds!

**Hermione**: Slowness-deprived?

**Mordred**: I choked a bit, you try coming up with one-liners for once!

**Hermione**: The two girls are moving so fast, how do they manage to do that?

**Mordred**: Maybe they snorted some Pixy Sticks before the match?

**Hermione**: What are those?

**Mordred**: For those of you who don't know what Pixy Sticks are, it's a 'candy' that is more or less sugar-flavoured sugar. It is so sugar-laden that snorting pure, unprocessed crack would be seen as healthier than eating Pixy Sticks.

**Hermione**: How do you know they're that unhealthy?

**Mordred**: Because I heard about a kid that went to an amusement park once and bought a HUGE Pixy Stick. It was about as wide as a Butterbeer bottle and twice as tall. He'd only gotten through one-fifth of it and he was completely out of his mind. At one point he was on a roller coaster, and in his Pixy Stick-tripped out self, the ride was rolling _way too slowly_, so he undid his straps and tried to push it.

**Hermione**: What happened to him?

**Mordred**: He fell off about sixty feet up and hit the street, but because he was so high off the sugar he just got up again and demanded to be let back on the ride. The authorities took him to the hospital, and found that his sugar content was higher in his veins than his blood or alcohol content _combined_. From then on he was never allowed back in that amusement park again.

**Hermione**: You're making that up!

**Mordred**: True story! How else would you explain how fast those two girls are going?

**Hermione**: They – They're almost at a thousand points apiece!

**Mordred**: Over nine-fifty right now!

**Hermione**: They're still moving at top speed; you'd think they'd have slowed down by now!

**Mordred**: But they still keep on going, as Faith scores her nine hundred and ninetieth goal –

**Hermione**: And Buffy ties her up with her own goal!

**Mordred**: They each keep scoring!

**Hermione**: As Buffy gets her thousandth goal!

**Mordred**: After Faith did, if they played to the first thousand goals Slytherin would have wo-

**Hermione**: Wait, both girls grabbed the Quaffle in the middle of the Pitch!

**Mordred**: They're both holding it tight, squeezing it and pulling at it with all their might!

**Hermione**: I – I can't believe it!

**Mordred**: Me neither!

**Hermione**: They tore the Quaffle in half like it was paper, and went flying into the Bludgers behind them!

**Mordred**: Both girls shake off the Bludgers, and then toss each of their Quaffle halves into the opposing teams' hoops. Do you think that should count as half points for them?

**Hermione**: Buffy and Faith now start striking the Bludgers at one another.

**Mordred**: Still moving so fast that we can hardly see the Bludgers in the air as they each move across the Pitch slowly closer towards one another!

**Hermione**: Buffy and Faith are hitting one – no, two – of the Bludgers each at one another as if they were playing tennis!

**Mordred**: Each lady has two bats so that while Buffy is hitting one Bludger at Faith, Faith is hitting the other one at Buffy. They're moving at speeds too fast for the mortal eye to see!

**Hermione**: The other Bludgers have now tried to hit Buffy and Faith, but they ducked and have begun double hitting the four Bludgers all at once!

**Mordred**: Faith double-whammies two of her Bludgers into the other two Bludgers that Buffy sent at her, ricocheting them off of each other!

**Hermione**: They both smash the Bludgers with all they have! What are they trying to accom-

_(A loud explosion is heard as the Bludgers explode when they hit each other for the final time)_

**Hermione**: They destroyed the Bludgers! Now what are they going to do?

**Mordred**: Buffy doesn't hesitate, blasting off at super speed and ploughing into Faith, sending them both crashing into the side of one of the stands.

**Hermione**: Buffy is furious, pummelling Faith with super fast fists, trying to take her down as fast as possible!

**Mordred**: Buffy is preventing Faith from pulling out her wand.

**Hermione**: Faith tries to blast Buffy off of her using her wand. She gets a few spare inches and uses it to take off.

**Mordred:** Faith is spinning like a top, launching into the air! It's gonna be a nasty kick!

**Hermione**: But No!

**Mordred**: Buffy pulls a Matrix, bending backwards at the waist, and ducks under the flying kick!

**Hermione**: What's a Matrix?

**Mordred**: Faith circles behind Buffy, and delivers a powerful kick to the back, knocking Buffy face first into the arena wall with a monstrous thud!

**Hermione**: Buffy doesn't slow down for a minute, trying to press her momentary advantage; she turns around with a full blast of fire from her wand at Faith.

**Mordred**: Faith manages to block the blast with her arms thrown up over her face.

**Hermione**: Faith blocks the blast, but the heat looks like it managed to shock Faith. She's waving her arms in the rain to cool them off.

**Mordred**: Buffy flies forwards and gives Faith a hard uppercut across the face, knocking her up into the air, with Buffy in close pursuit.

**Hermione**: Buffy dives forwards like a bullet towards Faith.

**Mordred**: Buffy hits! No, she missed!

**Hermione**: No, she flew right through Faith!

**Mordred**: Ladies and gentlemen, Faith seems to have given Buffy the momentary slip.

**Hermione**: Buffy is stopped in her tracks, searching for any signs of her Slytherin opponent.

**Mordred**: She just found one! Faith reappears right behind Buffy, and hits hard with a mad roundhouse kick to the chest. Buffy is sent hurdling right into one of the stands.

**Hermione**: The stand holds, but Buffy went right through it leaving a huge gaping hole. The fans are looking worried here.

**Mordred**: Buffy tries to recover but Faith lets loose with a barrage of blasts from her wand.

**Hermione**: Buffy is on the defensive, ducking and dodging all over the arena trying to steer clear of those blasts.

**Mordred**: Ouch! A stray blast seems to have struck true and hits Buffy in the lower abdomen. The blond bitch is stunned and Faith dives forward off her broom, dropkicking Buffy and knocking her down to the mud.

**Hermione**: Buffy crashes, sending tons of sand and dirt up into the air with the impact.

**Mordred**: Faith chases after. It looks like she is trying to land feet first on top of Buffy's spine.

**Hermione**: Buffy jumped out of the way in the nick of time!

**Mordred**: Faith crashed into the ground!

**Hermione**: Buffy grabs Faith's right leg and is now swinging her around at incredible speeds, creating a tornado of sand and dirt in the center of the arena!

**Mordred**: That is going to give the clean-up crew a fit later. Buffy lets Faith go, sending her crashing head first through another stand.

**Hermione**: Buffy chases after her, bashing her own hole through the stand. Faith is regaining her senses, and flies off again on her broom.

**Mordred**: Buffy stops herself in mid-flight, searching again for Faith amidst the rain.

**Hermione**: Buffy looks up, oh. And now Buffy looks worried.

**Mordred**: Buffy isn't looking pleased about this. Faith is just hovering in the air above her with an iron look of resolve in her face.

**Hermione**: Buffy grabs her broom and flies up to eye level with Faith.

**Mordred**: Buffy lashes out with a spell, but no luck as Faith doges it easily.

**Hermione**: Buffy doesn't let up as she flies forward and ploughs her fist into Faith's face.

**Mordred**: Ouch, that had to hurt. But Faith manages to strike back as Buffy lands her punch.

**Hermione**: Ouch! Now that had to hurt! Faith delivers a solid knee blow to Buffy's gut. That shot looks like it might have knocked the wind right out of Buffy.

**Mordred**: Faith just grabbed Buffy by the broom and began spinning with her in the air.

**Hermione**: Faith let Buffy go, once again sending her crashing into another stand with an earth shattering crash. I don't believe it; she actually cracked the stand in half, causing the people in it to go falling to the ground.

**Mordred**: And you thought they still needed Bludgers to fight each other? Buffy struggles to recover and buy herself some space.

**Hermione**: Faith flies inches in front of Buffy's face.

**Mordred**: Buffy tries to fly up to get some air, but Faith grabs Buffy's left leg and throws her back to the ground.

**Hermione**: Faith seems to have total control of the situation. Buffy was obviously hoping to press her attack as fast as she could in order to keep Faith off balance.

**Mordred**: Faith again flies in front of Buffy, who is struggling just to get back to her feet.

**Hermione**: Buffy manages to get off a spell this time, attempting to encase Faith in solid ice.

**Mordred**: No good, Faith casually smashes the ice off of her with nothing more than her fist.

**Hermione**: How does she do that? Faith appears to be expecting another attack, but Buffy is flying away on her broom.

**Mordred**: It's an American thing I think, being able to smash things apart. Right now it's up, up and away for Buffy, right into air high above the clouds.

**Hermione**: Really?

**Mordred**: Buffy is trying to escape the arena to get away from Faith? If so, she is in trouble. That dame is not letting her go, as Faith is now on her broom also.

**Hermione**: Buffy appears to still be flying upwards, with Faith right behind her.

**Mordred**: Faith is pointing her wand at Buffy's retreating form. Who knows what's coming next.

**Hermione**: A huge blast of blue energy fires outwards from Faith's wand and straight at Buffy.

**Mordred**: Buffy turns around to see a huge blast of lightening and fire coming right at her.

**Hermione**: Buffy doesn't seem to be afraid.

**Mordred**: Well sure, she'll just die. For suicidal skanks like this, that's no big deal.

**Hermione**: That's a really heartless thing to say!

**Mordred**: It's just the truth, babe. Take it or leave it

**Hermione**: The spell wave is getting closer and closer, Buffy doesn't seem worried, nor is she making any effort to dodge.

**Mordred**: The blast hits! No, it misses.

**Hermione**: Buffy dodges at the last second. The spell wave races past Buffy into the air.

**Mordred**: Buffy has managed to hide behind some clouds, forcing Faith to go looking for her in the raging storm.

**Hermione**: Ouch. Faith just got hit by a lightening bolt! And another! And an- wait, that's Buffy sending lightening bolts at Faith from her wand now! Amidst the rain and lightening scattering around the area, I can see Buffy charging Faith right through the raging clouds.

**Mordred**: Buffy takes advantage of Faith being distracted to fly in and land a solid punch to Faith's head.

**Hermione**: And the fight rages on. Faith uppercuts Buffy's gut and Buffy retaliates with another punch of her own.

**Mordred**: Buffy now lets loose with a solid kick Faith's face, knocking her right through the clouds.

**Hermione**: Faith goes flying through the clouds, getting tagged by bits of lightening along the way.

**Mordred**: Buffy goes chasing after her, but Faith disappears using the clouds as cover.

**Hermione**: Faith reappears behind Buffy and places her wand up to Buffy's backside and fires a direct energy blast at point blank range.

**Mordred**: I can't believe this; they are moving just too fast to keep up with. Even with lightening bolts flying everywhere, our two opponents just keep beating each other to death.

**Hermione**: Faith and Buffy are moving all over the place in a whirlwind of punches and kicks and spells.

**Mordred**: Hang on; the two of them have backed off while in the air. This is like the big fight scene in Matrix Revolutions, only on brooms.

**Hermione**: The what?

**Mordred:** Just a movie reference I figured some of the other Muggleborns would get.

**Hermione**: Buffy's is waving her wand in the air, gathering lightening into it.

**Mordred**: Faith is getting ready for spell of her own, as she is also gathering lightening into her wand. Both of our contenders are getting ready to fire.

**Hermione**: And there is it!

**Mordred**: Here they go!

(_A huge explosion occurs in the air_)

**Mordred**: . . .

**Hermione**: . . . . . . . . .

**Mordred**: Are they still _alive_?

**Hermione**: I - I think so.

**Mordred**: I can't see anyone out in the arena.

**Hermione**: Wait there they are. Both of them are still in the air, only Buffy is just past Hogwarts Castle while Faith is out on the other end.

**Mordred**: They're circling each other now at high speeds, dodging lightening as they both pass through clouds.

**Hermione**: They've each put away their wands, and grabbed up their bats, they're about ready to attack one another.

**Mordred**: They're charging at one another on their brooms, like two fighter planes attempting to play chicken with one another!

**Hermione**: And they connect with a bang!

**Mordred**: Both girls are now just grappling with one another, kicking and striking one another with their bats and fists as they go higher and higher into the air.

**Hermione**: They both backed off of one another and are circling again.

**Mordred**: And they again charge at one another, striking at each other like knights in a jousting tournament with really short lances.

**Hermione**: They circle and attack each other again!

**Mordred**: And again they circle each other and attack!

**Hermione**: Wait! Buffy just got hit by lightening! She's – she's fallen off of her broom.

**Mordred**: And Faith is raising her arm in the air in triumph!

**Hermione**: Faith charges downwards, catching Buffy in the air as she fell. Is she trying to save her?

**Mordred**: Not on your life, Faith is flying at top speed downwards so she can smash Buffy into the ground with all her strength!

**Hermione**: They're about to hit the ground! Wait! Buffy's broom just came around and stopped them both from crashing into the ground!

**Mordred**: Buffy must have used her wand to Summon her broom. Both girls have now backed off from each other, each going over their respective goalposts.

**Hermione**: And now they charge again! They're moving so fast they appear as blurs, they're even dodging the raindrops now.

**Mordred**: And they connect! Ouch, that had to hurt.

**Hermione**: They both jumped off their brooms at each other and knocked each other flying backwards! What were they thinking?

**Mordred**: They were thinking that a flying kick would know the other off her broom, and both were right. Both of them are sailing through the air.

**Hermione**: Good Heavens! They both hit their goalposts; they could have broken their backs that way!

**Mordred**: But they didn't. Now they're both jumping down from their goalposts, landing in the wet grass.

**Hermione**: They landed like cats on their feet, even in the rain.

**Mordred**: And if there's anything one thing that'll make everyone happy regardless of class, it's soaked pussy rolling around in the wet grass during a rainstorm.

**Hermione**: Could you stop with the genital-related comments?

**Mordred**: Ok, I'll try for some more _Tit_-ilating words of wisdom.

**Hermione**: ARRGH!

**Mordred:** Be a witch, not a bitch, Hermione.

**Hermione** (_after calming herself down a bit_): Looks like they're out of the game, luckily they're like Ginny in that they're not hurt that bad.

**Mordred**: Hurt yes, but not out of the game yet! They have each retrieved two bats apiece, and are now staring at each other from across the Pitch.

**Hermione**: They're waving their arms back and forth, they _can't_ have any more fight left in them after all the beatings they've given and taken from each other, can they?

**Mordred**: Apparently they do still have a lot more fight left in them, as they're now charging at one another while screams of primordial rage!

**Hermione**: Those cheating Slytherins are trying to hit Buffy with spells from the stands!

**Mordred**: And the Gryffindors are doing likewise, but neither House are able to hit these ladies.

**Hermione**: Wow, they're fast! How can they still be that fast after all the abuse they've gone through?

**Mordred** (_suggestively_): I attract fast women to be near me?

**Hermione**: You wish – wait, they hit one another again!

**Mordred**: And this time on the ground instead of the air. They're attacking one another with all they have got, smacking each other with clubs and kicking each other when they get the chance to.

**Hermione**: They're both beating each other up, and Buffy nails Faith with a vicious uppercut, sending her flying!

**Mordred:** Faith is rolling to the side. She's up . . . Faith now looks really pissed-off!

**Hermione**: They charge again and they clash mid air . . . it's too fast to see.

**Mordred:** SLAM! A perfect high-flying kick from Faith. Buffy is in the dirt!

**Hermione:** Buffy is not happy about getting kicked in the teeth.

**Mordred:** She's furious actually. Buffy charges forward . . . Pucey is on his hands and knees trying to get up but she uses him as a jumping post for a flying kick into Faith and lands on her feet right afterwards.

**Hermione**: She tries the same thing again after Faith is getting up.

**Mordred**: But no! Faith grabs her bat . . . CRACK! What a HIT! She knocks Buffy right out of the air!

**Hermione**: THUD! Buffy hits the ground. Faith is going to dive-bomb her! But wait . . .

**Mordred:** Buffy braces a foot, pulls, twists . . . she's so fast . . . so strong . . .

**Hermione:** Buffy tagged her!! She nailed her in the abdomen with her bat!! Faith is sent crashing to the ground!

**Mordred: **. . . Faith lands . . . rolls left . . . grabs her Beater club and -

**Hermione: **- And both are up on their feet!

**Mordred: **Faith goes right to business - fast attack - Buffy blocks with her own club . . .

**Hermione: **Buffy with a spin kick -

**Mordred: **- Which Faith deflects with a forearm block . . . spins around - club waist high . . .

**Hermione: **Buffy jumps and does the splits midair while the club whizzes under . . .

**Mordred: **. . . Faith back flips onto his hands - pushes off - WHAM! Two boots to Buffy's gut as she comes back to earth . . .

**Hermione: **Buffy flies backward throwing her club . . .

**Mordred: **. . . Faith neatly dodges the club . . . WAIT!

**Hermione: **. . . Ricochet club! Bounces off a wall behind . . . BAM! Faith takes it in the jaw!

**Mordred: **That has GOT to hurt!

**Hermione: **. . . As Buffy gets her feet . . . whips a hand out grabbing her whizzing club and presses an attack!

**Mordred: **. . . Faith defends . . .

**Hermione: **. . . Just two girls fighting out there now, folks - no tricks . . .

**Mordred: **Both Beater clubs clash - fast punches and kicks . . .

**Hermione: **Faith gets a swipe in on Buffy's left side!

**Mordred: **. . . no break . . . still fighting . . .

**Hermione: **WHAM! Faith uppercut!

**Mordred: **'Buffy rolls with it . . . throws the club again!

**Hermione: **Faith snaps to one side surprised - dodges - NO! A rope wraps around one of Faith's arms . . .

**Mordred: **. . . Faith - free hand - quickly draws her other club . . .

**Hermione: **. . . As Professor Hagrid tugs the rope in order to stop these two from fighting

**Mordred: **BAM! Right into Hagrid's head!

**Hermione: **WHAM! Buffy with a straight kick of her own!

**Mordred:** Right to the Adams Apple of Hagrid, causing him to crumple like paper.

**Hermione:** Oh no!

**Mordred**: That'll teach him for interfering!

**Hermione**: Both girls attack each other again!

**Mordred: **And without hesitation too! Neither contender is giving nor receiving any quarter as these two go straight for each other and the kill.

**Hermione: **Faith is first with a powerful strike across Buffy's chest, leaving a glancing blow.

**Mordred: **Faith doesn't let up as she follows through with another swing and another severe bruise on Buffy's torso.

**Hermione: **Buffy doesn't even seem to flinch as she retaliates with a punch straight to Faith's cursed heart, and another, and another.

**Mordred: **Faith doesn't even have to shrug it off as she goes for another swing with her bat.

**Hermione: **Buffy blocks the swing with her free arm, while driving her own bat once again into Faith's upper body. And again, and again.

**Mordred: **Faith takes her free left hand and bats away Buffy's arms, leaving Buffy wide open for a kick straight to the gut.

**Hermione: **Faith puts all her strength into a thrust that practically lifts Buffy up off the ground before sending her flying.

**Mordred: **Faith steps back, seemingly satisfied that the night is hers while Buffy is trying to get back up.

**Hermione: **Ah, a crucial mistake. Buffy is regaining her composure, and pulls a post out of the ground with her free left hand.

**Mordred: **Buffy has the advantage and she presses it hard, hacking and slashing at Faith with both the post and her bat. Faith has left herself open with no defence as Buffy continues to gorily chop away at her opponent.

**Hermione: **Buffy takes a swing with the post, she's going for a decapitation.

**Mordred: **No good, Faith blocks the swing with her right hand, so Buffy goes for a stab wound to the neck this time with her right knife.

**Hermione: **Hit! Buffy goes for another shot, but Faith reaches out with her left hand, and grabs the bat hand in mid-strike.

**Mordred: **Buffy brings her left back again for another pole swing to the head, but she leaves herself open and Faith delivers a hard right punch to Buffy's chest that sends the Gryffindor Beater flying through the air and into the forest cover.

**Hermione: **Ouch! Buffy goes crashing hard into a nearby tree, actually knocking it over. Buffy is looking a little weary there, and it looks like she is having a hard time standing up. She turns to look up and Faith has disappeared.

**Mordred: **Buffy is already having a hard time standing, and Faith goes straight for the kill, trying to take Buffy's head off with a plank of nail-studded wood she's found.

**Hermione: **Nice effort, but it looks like Buffy manages to block the first swing with her own arms.

**Mordred: **But she doesn't block the second! Faith thrusts again and opens a new wound on the side of Buffy's left arm, causing her to drop the pole.

**Hermione: **Buffy is reeling back from the wound and Faith takes the opportunity to smash again, this time at Buffy's right leg.

**Mordred: **Faith's vicious assault seems to have caused Buffy to loose her footing, as her legs are still attached, but the wound has left her on the ground, bleeding badly.

**Hermione: **Buffy displays her resiliency yet again as she hurls her bat straight into Faith's neck!

**Mordred: **Direct hit! Faith is taken aback by this briefly and stops her assault to tend to her wound.

**Hermione: **By the time Faith has recovered from the shot to her neck, Buffy seems to have completely vanished into nothingness.

**Mordred: **Faith has stopped to take in her surroundings and search for Buffy.

**Hermione: **Surprise attack as Buffy comes out of nowhere with an iron pole from the fallen stand, which she slams right into Faith's neck, knocking her into a nearby tree, leaving her helpless.

**Mordred: **Buffy has Faith down, and takes full advantage of the situation as she retrieves her bat and starts mercilessly attacking Faith who can't even move enough to defend herself.

**Hermione: **Now that Buffy has a real measure of Faith, she's not holding back anything. She's gone all out, striking and whacking into Faith with a fury that even I must admire.

**Mordred: **Buffy is defiantly showing some excellent fighting form while Faith continues to struggle helplessly. Wait, Faith just grabbed a nearby branch from the tree she is pinned against and managed to swing it around and smash it directly in Buffy's face.

**Hermione: **Buffy is knocked back, and Faith uses this opportunity to fight back.

**Mordred: **Oooh! Faith has just shoved the torn end of the branch into Buffy's chest. Buffy reels back from the attack, giving Faith the chance to retrieve Buffy's weapon.

**Hermione: **Buffy raises her hand to strike, but Faith gets her shot in first, raking another massive wound across Buffy's chest.

**Mordred: **I think Buffy is rapidly reaching her limits here. She just can't take as much punishment as Faith.

**Hermione: **Buffy tries to fight back but instead slashes harmlessly at the air while Faith hits with another crushing blow with her pole, and another, and another.

**Mordred: **Buffy is bleeding profusely here, as she falls to the ground. It looks like the punishment was just too much for her there. She's on her knees and Faith is approaching for the kill.

**Hermione: **NO! Buffy isn't out of the fight yet. She just suckered Faith in closer. As Faith approaches for the kill, Buffy strikes out and sweeps Faith's left leg right from under her.

**Mordred: **Whatever Buffy hit, it seems to have brought Faith down to the ground. Buffy doesn't let up as she rears back with her fist and slams it into Faith's right eye.

**Hermione: **Blood pours out from behind Buffy's fist, and Buffy takes this chance to grab Faith's pole.

**Mordred: **Buffy takes all her strength and manages to slam the pole into Faith's head. By the Void, it almost went straight through Faith's skull.

**Hermione: **And Faith still won't drop! She's looking faint there, but he is still hanging on.

**Mordred: **Faith's not going down without a fight, with one mighty fist, Faith punches right into Buffy's chest. Faith's bloody fist almost emerges out of Buffy's back. They're now spinning around and pulling out their bats again!

**Hermione**: They're still fighting – wait, Harry is coming down out of the clouds!

**Mordred**: And so is Dawn! They must have found the Snitch.

**Hermione**: Yes they have! It's dropping like it lost its wings.

**Mordred**: Both Dawn and Harry are shoulder to shoulder, each reaching out their right arms to try and get the Snitch!

**Hermione**: The Snitch landed between Buffy and Fai- Oh no!

**Mordred**: Both Beaters have just crushed the Snitch in between their bats. They were swinging at one another, and they both hit the Snitch at the same time! Talk about a fluke!

**Hermione**: The whistle has gone! I thought all the referees were unconscious?

**Mordred**: One of them isn't, there he is. It's Professor Binns! Who'd of thought he was a Quidditch fan?

**Hermione**: I guess he was called because he could not get knocked out. He's going over to both Harry and Dawn, who are both waving something in their hands.

**Mordred**: Lets hear what the ref has to say!

**Binns** (_from the ground of the Pitch_): Ladies and gentlemen due to the equal scores and the fact that each of the Seekers have gotten a wing off the Snitch before its untimely demise the game has been ruled a draw.

_(Sounds of the audience first gasping, then jeering as both Harry and Dawn's hands are raised in the air are quickly drowned out by a crash of thunder, and the downpour of rain soak the remaining people in the stands and on the ground.)_

**Mordred**: There you have it folks! The Seekers and Beaters all shake hands as they prepare to leave the arena.

**Hermione**: That's odd; the Beaters were just fighting to the death a minute ago, and now they're smiling at each other?

**Mordred**: That's sports for yah; never take any attacks personally as everyone wants to win. From the Hogwarts first Quidditch match this has been Mordred Flaggson.

**Hermione**: . . . Oh, and I'm Hermione Granger.

**Mordred**: Thanking you all and wishing you a nice night! Goodnight folks!

(Return to regular story format)

On the Sunday after the game, most of the Gryffindor and Slytherin Quidditch teams were in the hospital wing, being tended to by a very overworked Madam Pomfrey. Buffy and Faith both healed up fast, and since everyone thought that that was because of Madam Pomfrey's doing, they didn't have to worry about awkward questions just yet. Ginny had only suffered a broken wrist, and was able to go to a late lunch with the rest of the Gryffindors, but her main concern was the broken broomstick instead of her wrist.

"Don't worry Ginny," said Hermione as Harry poked at his food, "it could be worse, you could be -"

But before she could finish, a pair of owl shrieks were heard as two owls came flying over the tables while carrying a large, long package. They dropped it off in front of Ginny before flying off. Not looking to see where they went, Ginny tore open the package with her free hand and found herself in the possession of a brand new Firebolt. Clutching at it in joy, she then noticed the letter that had come along with it.

"Sorry about you getting hurt and your broom broken," Ginny read aloud quietly in wonder, "we hope you like this. Signed 'the Summers Sisters'"?

She looked over at Buffy who was smiling widely, and then looked over at Dawn in confusion before getting up and giving Buffy a hug. Dawn had looked on, expecting a smile or a nod of some sort from Ginny, and was shocked not at the lack of response from Ginny, but the feeling of hurt she got from it. Dawn didn't want to admit it, but the silent treatment from the Gryffindor table because of her being a Slytherin actually hurt her. She had expected the Gryffindors to be a bit more compassionate, and was surprised that she was wrong.

"This sucks," said Dawn to Faith as Mordred wolfed down his food, "most of our own House hate me because we're Muggle-born, and most Gryffindors hate us because we're Slytherin. We just can't win."

"At least you have your family and friends here with you," Faith said sagely as Mordred swallowed whole an entire spotted dick, "and besides, we can always pretend those disgusted looks are for Mordred's eating habits, and his comments from yesterday."

The two girls looked over at Mordred, who was happily ignoring all the glares of outright hatred and disgust from most of the school as he ploughed through all the food that was in front of him. McGonagall was glaring at him from the Professors' table, but other than taking away points from the Slytherins (which she had already done) there was nothing else she could do to him, as he didn't actually _do_ anything wrong when he was commentating. The only other news was that Fred, Jordan, Malfoy, Montague, and Goyle all came back from the Vanishing Cabinet safe and sound, and ready for a Quidditch match that had already happened. But after hearing about the damage done during the match, the five of them stopped complaining loudly and actually looked rather grateful that they had missed out on such a horrific event.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19: Slayers Revealed**

On the Monday morning after the first disastrous Quidditch match, the Golden Trio were in the girl's washroom during lunch to complete the Polyjuice Potion when both Faith and Dawn came in. Hermione hid the potion as Dawn gave her a knowing look while Faith laughed at the boys.

"So _that's_ why Hermione doesn't have a boyfriend," Faith said derisively, "she's a swinger!"

The two Slytherin girls turned to go to a different washroom, but before they left Faith reached into her robes and tossed Hermione a box.

"We don't need you to get preggers!" said a laughing Faith as a blushing Hermione quickly hid the package of condoms from the sight of the two boys before they could see it and ducked into a stall with the potion. Buffy then came in, passing by both Faith and Hermione.

"What were those two lau-?" Buffy's sentence cut off as she noticed both Harry and Ron. "Ok you two, _out_ you go!"

Before either of the boys could protest, Buffy had them by the collars and was marching them forcefully out the door and into the hall.

"And if you come back in here again," said Buffy as she went back into the bathroom, "you'll be coming out with your own wands stuffed up your noses and your heads stuffed up your asses. Now _scram_."

Harry and Ron then headed off to class, and it wasn't until after their final class that they were able to get together with Hermione again in the Common Room.

"We can't use this during the week due to classes," said Hermione, "but I was thinking we could use it on Thursday when we aren't as busy with school work. We just have to get rid of Crabbe, Goyle, and Lehane long enough for us to interrogate the other Triumvirate members about what is going on. Mordred and Dawn may not tell Crabbe and Goyle anything, but I'm sure they'll talk to me as Lehane, since she is part of their Triumvirate."

"So we're just there as lookouts?" asked Harry, who was getting uneasy with the idea as it was getting closer. "We're there to keep others from interfering or listening in on you?"

"And you're also there in case Mordred tries looking for Faith," she said, "keep him distracted by talking about guy things. Flatter him about the commentary he did for the game, for example."

"More likely _flatten_ him for the commentary," said Ron under his breath, but when Hermione looked at him he nodded along with Harry.

"I've got some Sleeping Draught for the three of the people we're impersonating," said Hermione, "more than enough, I think, actually. We just have to find a way to get them to drink it, and using the same tactics that we did last time won't work, despite the thickness of Crabbe and Goyle."

Both Tuesday and Wednesday seemed to blur together, due to the classes being mostly the same. After dinners Buffy tried to talk with the Trio about Harry teaching a Defence class, but even though Hermione was ready to talk about it Harry kept brushing it off as he had too much homework to do that day. Every time Buffy went off Patrolling, the Trio would go over their homework and method of drugging the three students.

On the Thursday after Potions class, when Mordred went to his Double Divination class, Faith saw that the Golden Trio was carrying what appeared to be a large tray of Butterbeers down the hall and had stopped nearby where she was standing. Hermione tapped Ron and Harry, and they took the rest of the weight of the tray as she walked away.

"I'll go see where this is supposed to be put," she said distractedly, "be sure that none of the Slytherins get any of this stuff, as it's the last batch."

She then hurried off, leaving Harry and Ron to huff and puff under the strain of the tray. Faith looked around to see if there was anyone else there, but other than Ron and Harry, there was no one about.

_Well, if it's the last batch,_ thought Faith, _then as a Slayer I should be allowed to grab up some of the stuff. After all, I do spend a lot of my time helping keep the school safe, so just because I'm a different House doesn't mean they get to exclude me._ She then walked over to where the two boys were, and grabbed up a cup and drained it dry.

"Hey!" Harry said in a falsely indignant tone, only to get a smirk from Faith as she patted her belly.

"That's some good stuff," she said with a smile as the two boys looked on, "I think I'll have some more."

With that, she grabbed up two more drinks and drained them down, making herself a bit woozy but still standing. The boys looked on in shock, as she didn't fall down like she should have. Instead, she grabbed the tray off of them both and balanced it in one hand while holding out her wand with another hand.

"Don't try anything," Faith said to them as she waltzed back to her dorm, "or I'll zap yah both into little fishies –" she interrupted herself by hiccoughing.

She walked down the hall with the Golden Trio following her at what they thought was a discreet distance. By the time she got to where one of the bathrooms were at, however, she began to start staggering, and she went into the washroom to look at the stuff she had nicked. The Golden Trio gave her a few minutes to pass out before going in, only to find a rather angry, yet still woozy, Faith glaring at them with the tray spilled on the floor.

"Youse . . . lil' . . . snoks . . . drubbed me!" she slurred as she staggered towards them.

Harry and Ron tried to hold her arms down, but she managed to pick them both up and smack them together before throwing them against the wall. Hermione hit her with a Stunner, only to watch in amazement as Faith only dropped to her knee before trying to get back up again. Hermione hit her with another Stunner, and another, as Harry and Ron got up and began hitting her with Stunners of their own. Hermione put a Full Body Bind Curse on Faith, finally dropping the dark haired girl to the ground as the three Gryffindors looked on her in awe.

"Did you see that?" asked Ron in a disbelieving voice. "She drank half of the drinks we had and was still standing when we laid into her with Stunning Spells. Is she for real or what?"

"I don't know why she didn't pass out after the first drink," exclaimed Hermione in wonder, "it had more than enough Sleeping Draught to knock out a single person. If they weren't extinct I'd say that Faith is the closest girl to be able to be a Slayer."

"Maybe she was related to a Slayer?" asked Ron as he and Harry took off Faith's robes, tied her up and left her semi-dozing in a stall.

"No," said Hermione as got out her Polyjuice Potion, "the entire line was wiped out. There's none of them left. Now wait while I change."

Hermione drank the potion down and began to mutate into Faith as the two boys watched. After she was done, she looked at herself in the mirror while putting on Faith's robes.

"Certainly _feels_ different being someone else," commented Faith/Hermione as she looked back at Harry and Ron. "Come on, there's no time to waste."

She started off at a brisk walk, heading down the hall with the two boys trailing behind.

"Hey," said Ron, "wait up!"

Faith/Hermione looked back and saw that both Ron and Harry were running up to catch up to her. When they got up to her she scowled at them.

"Try to keep up," she scolded, "I was only _walking_."

"Yeah, but it was more like _running_ to us," said Ron, with Harry nodding beside him.

"I guess she just moves faster than most people," observed Faith/Hermione, before setting off at a slower pace so the two boys didn't lag behind.

They went to one of the Potions rooms, where they found both Crabbe and Goyle skulking around. Since there was no more spiked Butterbeer left, Faith/Hermione just used her wand and Stunned them both. Harry and Ron dragged them both off to a corner in the dungeons and left them there, before drinking their own Polyjuice Potions and changing forms. The three of them then waited at the Slytherin dorm room until the entrance was opened, whereupon Faith/Hermione just barged right in and accidentally sent Malcolm Baddock flying while Crabbe/Harry and Goyle/Ron came in afterwards. They found Dawn sitting with a group of younger Slytherins, helping them out with their homework. She only gave Faith/Hermione an irritated look when she looked at her before turning back to her charges, which were encircled around her and reading their notes. The three impostors waited for a while until Faith/Hermione gave an annoyed noise designed to get Dawn's attention. She glared before waving off the younger students and turned back to Faith/Hermione and the two boys.

"Why did you have to go and do that?" she asked wearily before pointing at the two boys, "and what are you doing with those two goons?"

"Aren't we their friends?" asked Faith/Hermione as she went with Dawn back to the girl's dorm, leaving Crabbe/Harry and Goyle/Ron up in the Common Room.

"You know very well they're only following you because they want to bang you," said Dawn, "and we've been working too hard on trying to get the rest of the Slytherins on our side to suddenly ally ourselves with Draco's goons. We need to focus on the tasks at hand so that we're prepared for what's to come?"

"And what _is_ to come?" asked Faith/Hermione a bit too eagerly, causing Dawn to look at her funnily.

"All the stuff the books are telling us is coming," asked Dawn condescendingly, "remember? We're currently in book five, and it states that soon -"

"_Excuse us, Mistress_," came a hissing voice from the ground, "_but that is an impostor!_"

Faith/Hermione looked around as a small snake came crawling up Dawn's leg and wrapped around her waist before settling next to her ear. Dawn listened quietly to the snake as Faith/Hermione mentally kicked herself for being led away from Harry, who could understand what the snake was saying to Dawn. After a brief chat, the snake crawled away, leaving Dawn to look quizzically at Faith/Hermione.

"So," said Dawn slowly, "as I was saying, it's all in our religious books. You _do_ have the books on you, correct?"

"I, ah, must have misplaced them," said Faith/Hermione worriedly, "do you have a spare copy by any chance."

"_Misplaced_ them!" said Dawn in a falsely shocked tone, "they're Holy books, remember? You, Buffy and Mordred are the only holders of them, as I can't get them until my initiation." Dawn then gave Faith/Hermione a sudden smile.

"When _are_ you guys going go give me this initiation?" she asked slyly, causing Faith/Hermione to gulp as she tried to think of an answer. "Isn't it due soon?"

"I – uh – not yet, at least," said Faith/Hermione as she backed away slowly, "I have to go find Buffy for Patrolling -"

"But it's not even dark yet," said Dawn casually, "and Buffy's where she always is, in Gryffindor Tower. You won't be allowed there unless," Dawn then grinned mischievously, "you had some Polyjuice Potion on you and turned yourself into Hermione." Dawn smiled at the paling Faith/Hermione before adding.

"Now _there's_ an idea we could probably use," said Dawn with her finger on her chin, "you could be Hermione, Mordred can be Harry, and I could be Ron, since he's kinda effeminate anyways."

"No he's not!" said Faith/Hermione before slapping a hand across her mouth, earning her an even bigger grin from Dawn.

"What," asked Dawn innocently, "you haven't taken a _liking_ to him, have you? He is Hermione's boyfriend already, he can't have two girlfriends now, _can_ he?"

Faith/Hermione only shook her head in agreement, as she started to blush quite severely. She tried to control it by remembering what Faith would usually say about males.

"Yeah, you're right," she said with false bravado, "and even if he didn't, we hate men anyways, right?"

Dawn only grinned and stared at Faith/Hermione, causing the impostor to mutter 'right' under her breath and try to think of something else to sway the topic. Before Faith/Hermione could think of anything to say, Pansy came in to the room and interrupted them.

"Congratulations," she said to the two girls, "your Triumvirate has completely demoralized the Slytherin House. Crabbe and Goyle are drilling Draco over stuff he doesn't even know about. It's like they're completely different people."

Faith/Hermione used this opportunity to rush upstairs to the Common Room, where she found Draco arguing with Crabbe/Harry and Goyle/Ron. Since his back was turned, Faith/Hermione took the opportunity to chop the back of his neck, knocking him out cold, before grabbing the boys' collars and hauling them out of the Slytherin Common Room. She dragged them forcefully along the corridors until they were outside the Castle by three pillars of stone, where she gave them a chance to orientate themselves.

"Did you learn anything?" asked Crabbe/Harry, causing Faith/Hermione to shake her head disappointedly. She then began to pace agitatedly around, gnashing her teeth.

"I didn't learn anything," she said angrily, "one of their snakes came over to Dawn and said something to her, and after that she began asking me questions about their religion that I didn't know. How could I have been so stupid! We should have asked Buffy about the religion, and we should have stayed together so that you could eavesdrop in on what the snake was saying to Dawn."

She then span around and gave one of the pillars a roundhouse kick with everything she had. Instead of hurting her leg, like she expected it too, she and the two boys were surprised when the pillar broke in half and went flying down the hill, crashing at the side of Hagrid's hut. She looked at the damage she had caused with shock while the two boys looked at her in wonder.

"It's – not – possible," she muttered, "the Slayers were all wiped out. How can she be this strong?"

Before either of the boys could venture a guess, Faith/Hermione felt a looming danger to them draw near. She shushed the boys and looked around as she heard the distant sounds of sprinting footsteps drawing closer from the hallways inside the school. A splintering crash was heard as Faith, who was completely furious, smashed right through the school doors with a shoulder block. She spotted the three of them, and gave a howl of rage and fear before charging at them. Faith/Hermione felt her body tense up in anticipation of the charge, but she also noticed that neither of the boys was moving fast enough so she pushed them out of the way so as to save them both from harm. That, however, dropped her guard, allowing Faith to tackle her and send them both rolling down the hill. When they landed at the bottom of the hill, Faith rolled on top of Faith/Hermione and began punching her in the head with one hand while choking her with the other. Harry and Ron, who were reverting back to normal, had pulled their wands out and began firing off Stunners at Faith, knocking her off of Hermione as she was changing back into herself. The two boys tried to help the bleeding Hermione up, but they were attacked by Faith, who spin-kicked Ron in the gut and grabbed Harry by the neck and threw him in the air before pouncing on Hermione again, this time wrapping both of her hands on poor Hermione's throat. As Harry landed on the ground, he noticed a blurring Buffy go by him as Faith began to shout at Hermione.

"You're not going to genocide me!" Faith shouted in both rage and fear, "I'm not going to die like a sheep. I'm not -"

The rest was muffled as Buffy grabbed Faith and dragged her hands away from Hermione's throat. Harry crawled over to Ron while Dawn and Mordred both came running down the hill to help Buffy subdue Faith, who was thrashing about. Ginny had come down as well after hearing the commotion they were causing, and she was advancing on the Triumvirate with her wand out when Harry spotted her.

"No!" said Harry, stopping Ginny from nailing any of the Triumvirate with a Hex, "Buffy is taking care of it. Help us help Hermione, please?"

Ginny went over to where the two boys were, and went over to Hermione, who was turning blue in the face due to lack of oxygen.

"_Anapneo_!" Ginny said, pointing her wand at Hermione's throat.

Immediately, Hermione began to gasp large gulps of air while Ginny shepherded the boys away from her. They looked over at Mordred, Dawn and Buffy, who were consoling a weeping Faith while Hermione caught her breath. Hermione managed to get up, still breathing deeply, and walk over to where Buffy and the Triumvirate were.

"You're a Slayer," Hermione gasped, causing Dawn to look up at her.

"I think we all need to head somewhere where no one can hear us," suggested Dawn, getting up with the other three and motioning all of them towards Hagrid's hut.

Buffy grabbed onto the door and broke the lock with her bare hands, causing the four Gryffindors to now look at her in wonder as well, before they all went into Hagrid's hut and sat down on the seats.

"I thought the Slayer was extinct," said Harry aloud, while the others put some Silencing Charms around the hut. Dawn sighed before answering.

"We're sorta from a different world," she said, "one where history is a bit different. I can't tell you everything, as you won't believe me and Dumbledore sorta made us promise not to tell anyone, but in that world the Slayer line was not wiped out by Magic. It's alive and well, as my sister and Faith both have shown."

"You're all from a different world?" asked Ron perplexedly, "like Mars or something?"

"No," said Dawn shaking her head while pulling up one of their school books, "not like that. Imagine if the Universe was this book," she pointed at the book and opened it up, "and each world was a page. Different pages would be different worlds, but each one would have different aspects, the same way that different pages have different things written in them. Just as some pages will contain different topics that are similar, our world has different history and different versions of Magic than yours does. My sister Buffy, Faith and I are from one world where the Chosen One line is still alive."

"That Chosen One," continued Dawn, "happens to be my sister Buffy. She was called when she was fifteen, and she's been a Slayer ever since."

"What about Mordred?" asked Harry, "what's _his_ story?"

"I'm just a flunky," said Mordred cheekily, "I'm along for comic relief." Harry, Ginny and Ron looked at him curiously, but before they could ask him what he meant Hermione cleared her throat and spoke up.

"Okay, but if there's only_ one_ Chosen One, how could both of you be Slayers?" Hermione said while gesturing towards Faith. Buffy sighed.

"I always hate explaining things," she mumbled before standing up.

"When I first moved to Sunnydale, the Scooby's and I discovered a prophecy that said the 'Master', a _very_ powerful Vampire who was their leader, would kill me and escape the Hellmouth. Well the prophecy was partly right," she said, causing the Golden Trio and Ginny to gasp. "I _did_ die, as the Master drowned me in a pool of water after biting me, but I was brought back to life when Xander and Angel found me and Xander gave me CPR."

"What's that?" Asked Ron. Buffy then explained the concept of CPR, as he and Ginny knew nothing of Muggle medical practices. Buffy then continued her lecture.

"Well, since I was technically dead, that called another Slayer into the field," she said while the others looked at Faith, "it wasn't Faith, though, it was a girl named Kendra. She died a year later when a Vampire named Drusilla slit her throat, calling Faith into action."

"So now you know why there's two of us," said Faith, "and since we all heard what most of the Wizarding world thinks of us, you know why this must be kept very secret."

"Who are 'The Scooby's' that helped you find out about this prophecy?" Harry asked curiously. Buffy grinned slightly.

"Well the core Scooby's were me, my best friends, Xander Harris and Willow Rosenberg, my sister Dawn, and my Watcher, Rupert Giles," she explained. "They all helped me when I was fighting the things that go 'bump' in the night. But over the years, we've had others join the group and they included Daniel 'Oz' Osbourne, who was a Werewolf by the way, Kendra and Faith, who were 'the other original Slayers' after me, Cordelia Chase, Tara Maclay, Spike the Vampire, Robin Wood, and now Mordred," she paused to take a breath before she continued as Mordred looked up at his name, a slight look of pride and shock on his hooded face at being included in the Scooby group.

"I don't think I could have survived this long had it not been for my friends," Buffy continued, "but they were there for me and helped me defeat the Big Bads by helping with research, fighting and Magic."

There was a pause, where no one spoke. They all sat thinking about what had just been said. Then, trying to break the silence, Faith spoke up.

"So, Hermione and you have been dating for how long now?" Faith asked Ron, causing Ron and Hermione to both blush while Ginny and Harry both grinned as they both tried to keep themselves from laughing.

"Why does everyone think we're dating?" Asked Ron, who had gone so red it was now hard to tell where his skin ended and his hair began. Mordred then spoke up for him.

"They're not dating," he said, "they just sleep together."

This caused Hermione to howl in outrage as Ron just sat there in open-mouthed shock. Harry and Ginny both burst out laughing as Hermione began filling the air with some very un-Hermione like cussing. Mordred tried to diffuse her anger by asking her a series of questions.

"So, Harry, Ron and you are just friends, right?" asked Mordred slyly.

"Yes, we're just friends!" snapped Hermione, happy to get that out of the way. Mordred, however, was not done with her.

"You realize, of course," Mordred said, "that they can never be 'just friends'."

"Why not?" Asked Hermione irritatedly while Mordred shook his head pityingly before answering.

"Men and women can't be friends," Mordred explained, "because the sex part always gets in the way."

"That's not true," said Hermione quickly, "there's no sex involved with either Ron or Harry."

"You only think there isn't." Pointed out Mordred sagely.

"You're saying I'm having sex with them without my knowledge?" asked Hermione incredulously while Ginny glared on as well.

"No," said Mordred, "what I'm saying is they both want to have sex with you whether they know it or not." This caused both Harry and Ron to blush as Ginny looked on in interest while Hermione stammered a rebuttal.

"They do not." She said vehemently.

"Do too." Replied Mordred casually.

"They do not." Repeated Hermione with less vigour.

"Do too." Replied Mordred in an even tone. Hermione sighed as she saw how childish this had become and sought a way to both end it and prove she was right.

"How do _you_ know?" she asked challengingly.

"Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive," explained Mordred, "as he always wants to have sex with her."

"So you're saying that a man can be just a friend with a woman he finds unattractive." Asked Hermione, thinking she had seized upon something Mordred had overlooked.

"No, we pretty much want to nail them too," said Mordred before adding, "Why else do you think Malfoy is shagging Bulstrode?" This got the Golden Trio and Ginny to grimace in disgust at the idea of Bulstrode having sex with anyone, let alone Malfoy.

"What if they don't want to have sex with you?" asked Hermione after she was done gagging.

"Doesn't matter," explained Mordred, "because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story. For example: Pick either Harry or Ron, or any other male that is just a friend. Then ask yourself this question: If you were both alone at his place one night, and you excused yourself to the bathroom and then came out completely naked and asked him to have sex with you would he a) Tell you he doesn't want to risk the beautiful friendship you have created with messy physical entanglements, or b) Comply by shagging you right then and there. I'd be willing to guarantee that option B will happen every time."

Hermione glared at Mordred, but she couldn't help looking at Harry and Ron, who had both now taken to looking anywhere but at her that moment while Ginny looked on with an unreadable face. Deciding to change the topic, Dawn decided to ask a very important question then.

"I was wondering," asked Dawn cautiously while the others watched on, "about a good place to get together for an alternative Defence class."

The Golden Trio looked at Buffy, who only shrugged as she sat back in one of Hagrid's chairs. Ginny only looked on in curiosity, as no one had told her about this yet.

"How long have you known about us mentioning an alternative defence class as opposed to Umbridge's class?" Asked Hermione curiously, still staring at Buffy. Dawn gave her a serious look.

"Since before you even thought about it." Dawn said, before improvising an answer that made some sense. "It's only logical, as with a teacher as useless as Umbridge it's only a matter of time before the students try to find out their course material on our own. And we have just the place to not only hold the first meeting, but to have classes in as well."

"Where?" Harry asked as he was rather nervous about all this attention being fostered upon him by Hermione, "you did hear that I said it was mostly luck that got me through things."

"Yes Harry," said Hermione, "but there's no point in saying you're not good at Defence Against the Dark Arts. You can create a corporeal Patronus, you were the only student to throw off an Imperius Curse last year, you can do all sorts of stuff full-grown Wizards can't. Victor always said -"

"Yeah," Ron said after whipping his head around so fast he cracked his neck, "what did Vicky say?" Buffy cut in.

"We don't have time for the jealous boyfriend, I mean, not-boyfriend," Buffy clarified as she saw both Ron's and Hermione's heads whip around to stare at her with wide eyes as Harry and Ginny both gave small grins, "routine, the point is you're better than most everyone at all the Defence Against the Dark Arts stuff, so you would make an ideal teacher."

"What about Mordred?" asked Harry, pointing to him, "I've heard of some of the things he can do. Why can't he teach?"

Mordred only cackled before looking back at Harry.

"Sure, I can just see the line-up of non-Slytherins coming in to be taught by yours truly, especially after the big prank I pulled at the start of the year." Mordred said. "And most of what I do is based on Dark Magic, while what you do is able to defend against Dark Magic. I can supply you with some spells and some ideas, but I'm no teacher." Mordred leaned back in his chair.

"Besides," he said honestly, "you've seen me try to talk to people; I can't go a full day without insulting someone. It's just my nature."

"Too true," agreed Hermione while Ginny and Ron nodded. Hermione turned back to Dawn.

"Where do you think we should all meet up at?" Asked Hermione. "Hogsmeade weekend is this weekend, so I was thinking of getting people the other students the chance to learn from Harry -" She then saw Harry's face blanch, as she had forgot to mention this to him.

"Now please don't fly off the handle at me Harry," she said anxiously, "but I really think you ought to teach anyone who wants to learn. After all, we're talking about defending ourselves against V-Voldemort. Oh don't be pathetic, Ron," she said as she saw Ron wince visibly, "It doesn't seem fair if we don't offer this chance to everyone."

Hermione looked over the Slytherin Triumvirate, who were watching her intently.

"I mean, if these three Slytherins, no offence," she looked at them before continuing, "realize what a horrible teacher Umbridge is and want a real teacher, then other non-Slytherin students will too."

"Yeah, but where should we meet up at?" Asked Harry, returning to his original question.

"I was thinking we'd tell anyone who's interested to meet up with us in the village." Said Hermione when Dawn made a small cough. "Yes, Dawn?"

"Well, we should meet up in the village," said Dawn, "but we shouldn't have our actual meeting there. You see, the Ministry and the Order both have people watching Harry like hawks whenever he goes outside the school; so either one will see us there. There's no point in making up a group to practice defensive spells if Umbridge just passes a decree disbanding all organizations, societies, teams, groups, and clubs without her approval. Not only will she be able to make going to our own defence class illegal, she could also disband the Quidditch teams as well, and as much as I want to win the Quidditch Cup," Harry, Ron, and Ginny all scowled at her, "I'd like to win it in a better way than just being the only team available."

"Where should we have our meeting then?" Asked Hermione, looking at her pointedly.

"Well, Buffy, Faith, Mordred and I found a room called the Room of Requirement during the summer," Dawn explained, "with a little luck and a spell Mordred used we could set up the room to only allow our new group into it so we can have meetings. Would that be ok with you?"

"I was originally pushing for the Chamber of Secrets to be our base," said Mordred, getting a nasty look from Ginny, "but considering its history, the fact that it's waterlogged, and our friend Spike already lives there, that idea's pretty much nixed. Besides," Mordred added casually, "I was planning on redecorating it into a Chamber of Victoria's Secrets, where there'll be wet women's lingerie as far as the eye can see."

"You're such a prat," said Hermione while the other girls glared at Mordred, "but I can see your point."

"Really." Said Mordred surprised. "Does this mean you girls will loan some of your bras and thongs to get my Chamber of Victoria's Secrets goi-"

"NOO!!" Snapped all the girls there. Hermione then continued. "Not that idea, you pervert, the one about using the Room of Requirement as our base of operations. Where is it located at?"

"It's on the seventh floor, by the tapestry that has Barnabas the Barmy trying to teach Trolls to dance the ballet." Said Dawn. "Usually you have to walk by it three times while thinking about what you want before a door appears, but we've got it so that it opens on our command, as we've made keys from it to use for it."

"Ok, we'll meet up at the Hog's Head bar, then proceed back to the Castle to the Room of Requirement." Suggested Hermione. "We can even say it's to try starting an 'Inter-House Study group' for homework and such, and cite what the Hat said at the beginning of the year as our reason for having it, as well as the upcoming O.W.L.s."

"Yeah, and us Slytherins can say that we're there to monitor you guys," said Faith, who had been quiet for awhile, "so that if Umbridge asks about it we'll just say that there's nothing going on except a study group where everyone argues with each other. We could even make a mention as to how no one believes Harry whenever he mentions Volder-Fart, including his friends."

"That's a good idea," said Ron encouragingly, "make Umbridge believe we're all back fighting too much to be bothered studying while we're actually practicing spells."

"Just don't tell anyone about us being Slayers," said Faith, "we don't want them freaking out anymore than we have to."

They all agreed to that, and the Slayers and Mordred went off to Patrol while the others went back to their dorms. The next day Hermione and Ginny sounded out the idea to several other students while Harry, Ron and Buffy studied. The Triumvirate gave Umbridge a false head's up on what was happening, saying that it was a study group for the students and that they had it all under control.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20: The Room of Requirement**

On Saturday, Buffy, and the Golden Trio met up with the Slytherin Triumvirate at the Hog's Head pub, which was a small inn in Hogsmeade located on a side street off the main street. It was much dirtier than the Three Broomsticks, and consisted of a single small, dirty room smelling strongly of something that might have been goats. When they arrived there, they all got some Butterbeers for themselves (Harry paid for them all after some protests), and they waited until the others arrived. Sure enough, the others came in small groups. When they all got there, there were twenty-four more students inside the Hog's Head Bar, which surprised the bartender who'd never seen his bar so full. Dawn went up and ordered about twenty-four extra Butterbeers in preparation for the others. When some of the students saw the Slytherin Triumvirate, they balked however.

"What're _they_ doing here?" asked Zacharias Smith, pointing at the Triumvirate while Angelina Johnson, Lee Jordan, and Ernie Macmillan all glared at them. "We show up to a secret meeting only for us to have monitors for Umbridge to report on us? I'm outta here."

The Weasley twins looked at one another as George pulled out a long and lethal-looking metal instrument from inside one of the Zonko's bags they were carrying. The Patil twins both looked at it and squealed in fear.

"Perhaps you'd like to have your drink before you go?" asked Faith as Dawn helped the innkeeper set down their drinks, "we've ordered so many that we can't possible drink them all ourselves."

"They've spiked the drinks!" cried Dennis Creevey, who'd gotten in because Filch thought he was his brother Colin, despite his brother also being there. Lavender Brown and Hannah Abbot looked at the glasses in dismay.

"No they didn't!" Piped Ginny, causing Michael Corner, Dean Thomas, and Susan Bones to look at her in surprise. "Just let them have their say, and we'll see what they have to offer."

The others grabbed up their drinks, although Cho Chang and Marietta Edgecombe both just set theirs on the table when they sat down.

"Now, we all know why we're here," said Hermione to the others, "lets drink our drinks and relocate to a bigger area, perhaps back at the Castle."

"Why should we go back to the Castle when we just got here?" asked Justin Finch-Fletchley indignantly as Terry Boot and Anthony Goldstein both nodded in agreement. "Why can't we stay here?"

"Because," Dawn said while glaring at Katie Bell and Alicia Spinnet, who couldn't stop staring into their drinks as if they'd been given rat poison, "over there is Willy Widdershins with his head wrapped in bandages, and over there is Mundungus, both whom are supposed to be spying on us all."

With that, the others looked the people Dawn had pointed to, both of which gave visible starts as they heard what was being said.

"Now, we can either have the meeting here and let people know what we're doing," said Faith, "or, we can go back to the school a way we know and keep this meeting more or less to ourselves. Your choice."

The others looked around themselves before deciding, Neville drank his drink in a few long gulps before signalling he was ready to go when Harry was ready to go. The others drank their drinks at their own pace, and when they were all done they filed out in single file after Harry through the door, with Buffy taking up the rear. They went back to the Castle via one of the secret entrances, and went up to the seventh floor, where they found a door across from the tapestry that has Barnabas the Barmy trying to teach Trolls to dance the ballet. Harry opened the door up and beckoned the others inside. Luna Lovegood went in first with a dreamy look on her face, and the others followed suit. Inside, they found the walls lined with bookcases and silk cushions on the floor. There were also some mats on the floor and a punching bag hanging off the ceiling, along with a wall full of weapons ranging from swords to axes to other weapons, and some Anti-Dark Magic stuff as well as some cages full of Garden Gnomes and other creatures.

"Whoa," said Dean, staring around the room, "what _is_ this place?"

"This is the Room of Requirement," said Buffy, waving her arm to indicate the Triumvirate and herself, "this is where the four of us have been practicing stuff before school started."

"Is this your idea to get on our good side?" asked Smith dangerously to her. "Lure us in the hopes of doing Defence classes and then turning us in with your sister and cousins? I don't trust you."

"Well, there's the door, don't let it hit you in the ass on the way out," Buffy said casually, "and oh, by the way, when Goldervort and his Death Eaters attack here, feel free to say hi to them as they kill you, because that's what they're going to do to us if we don't do something about it."

That got everyone's attention, but Smith was still unimpressed.

"What makes you think You-know-who's back?" he asked in a challenging voice. Harry spoke up to him.

"I saw him." Harry stated bluntly. "And Dumbledore said he was back last year, but if you don't believe him then you won't believe me, and I'm not going to waste my time trying to convince anyone. I'm also not going to explain exactly what happened at the end of the Tri-Wizard Tournament, so don't even bother asking."

"How can we trust them then?" Smith said pointing at the Triumvirate, "they're Slytherin twats that have caused a whole Hell of a lot of trouble so far for everyone. What's to say they don't sell us out the moment we least expect it?"

"He does have a point," said Justin, "how can we trust people who won't even look us in the eyes?"

There were murmurs of agreement as most of the others glared at Mordred, whose head was still double-hooded and had his eyes covered with wraparound shades. He pulled back his hoods and raised his sunglasses, his eyes closed as the others gathered around him. When he opened them the others gasped as they looked at his eyes, which appeared to be nothing more than black orbs with random clouds of white floating around in a swirl in his head. He lowered his goggles and grinned at their shocked faces.

"Now you see why we have to be trusted?" Mordred asked. "In my case at least, I'm not to sure how the Ministry would react if they were to find out I was part Demon but I'm sure they'd take it more seriously than if I was just a Muggle-born."

"We're on your side," said Dawn, looking to either side of her at Mordred and Faith, "if you'll have us. We can also be able to be insiders to what Umbridge and her ilk are planning, so we'll be able to pass on information that we know about when we get it. We want to help."

"Right." Said Hermione, when there were no dissenting voices to what Dawn had said. "We have to decide how often we'll meet up. I'm thinking no less than once a week that doesn't interfere with anyone's classes or Quidditch practices. This is important, as Umbridge won't allow us to learn practical defences against V-Voldemort and his Death Eaters, due to Fudge's mad idea that Dumbledore is using students as a private army against the Ministry."

Almost everyone else who'd heard it was shocked except Luna, who then piped up.

"Well, that makes sense," she said, "after all, Fudge has his own private army."

"Really?" Asked Mordred, intrigued. "What does he have?"

"He's got an army of Heliopaths," said Luna solemnly, her eyes widening as she explained. "They're spirits of fire; huge flaming creatures that gallop across the ground burning everything in front -"

"They don't exist." Snapped Hermione tartly.

"Yes they do!" Said Luna angrily. "There are plenty of eye-witness accounts. Just because you're so narrow-minded you need to have everything shoved under your nose..."

"Hem, hem," said Ginny in a good enough imitation of Umbridge that the others looked around nervously before laughing, "Weren't we trying to decide how often we should be meeting up at and having defence lessons?"

"Well, I have an idea as to how to get a way to contact you all," said Hermione, "but first we should all sign our names down so we know who was here and to agree not to tell Umbridge what we're doing."

Most of them balked at it, but when the Weasleys, the Triumvirate, Buffy, and Luna all signed the others each signed the parchment that Hermione had for them. Hermione put the parchment on the wall, and then turned to the rest of them.

"I think we ought to elect a leader." Hermione said. "And come up with a name for ourselves."

After a few funny quips from the Weasley twins, Ginny suggested that they be called Dumbledore's Army, or DA for short. They all voted Harry as their leader, and then settled down as he got up to the front.

"Right, shall we get practicing then?" Harry said nervously. "I was thinking we should practice the Disarming Charm, _Expelliarmus_. I know it's pretty basic -"

"Oh please," said Smith rudely, "I don't think _Expelliarmus_ will help against You-Know-Who."

"It worked for me when I used it against him," said Harry quietly, "it saved my life in June. But if you feel it's beneath you, you can leave."

Nobody moved, and then Harry divided them all into pairs of two to practice, with Harry starting out with Neville. He was right to suggest practicing the basics first, as there was a lot of misfiring going on by plenty of students. Afterwards, Harry went around helping out the others, trying to correct what they were doing wrong. He then used a whistle, which had appeared when he needed it, and used it to stop everyone. Various partners switched off, and they tried again, with Harry going about correcting everyone who needed it. Slowly, the general performance improved. After several hours, he looked at his watch before blowing on his whistle.

"Well, that was good," Harry said, "but we've overrun, so we have to get back to our dorms. Same time, same place next week?"

"What about Quidditch practice?" Asked Angelina.

"Let's say Wednesday night," said Harry, "we'll decide on additional meetings then."

After all the others had filed out, all that was left was the Golden Trio, Buffy, and the Slytherin Triumvirate.

"That was really, really good, Harry." Hermione said before looking at the various weapons and equipment in the room.

"So, this is what Slayers use as a training room?" Hermione asked Dawn. "I mean, I have been to gymnasiums and such but I'm not sure if this is what it's supposed to look like, since there's the books as well here." Dawn thought a bit before answering.

"Well it's one part gym and one part martial arts studio, as well as some books for researching various Demons and events that we have to fight against, "Dawn said, "then toss in some of Faith's street fighting and you have a really good mix of what a Slayers' training room should be, not that we ever had the money to make the room the right way."

"Well, with all this here, there's no point in needing money for buying stuff." Hermione said before adding. "Although, if we need it I have some money that I can use, and if I explain some of the situation to my parents they might be able to lend us some money as long as they get some of it back. However, we don't have that much money-" Harry interrupted her.

"Hang on. I have a bit of money as well from my parents," Harry said, "and I'm sure Sirius would love to know he can do something for a good cause." Buffy then spoke up.

"Well I don't think we'll need too much cash from you two, as we did get a bit when we captured Bagman, Dumbledore is paying us for our Slaying, the Watchers' Council has literally Castle-loads of it and owe us, if we can ever get back to it, add with that the fact that some of the thousands of Slayers that were activated on my home world are politicians, royalty, or just plain rich, and there yah go." Buffy said emphatically. "We may just have enough money to help us out. That is, if we ever get a way back to our home world in order to use it." Dawn then piped in.

"Wait a second! What about Mordred's suggestion for looting the vaults of Gringotts?" She asked excitedly. "It's not only gets us extra cash, it also cuts the flow of cash to the Death Eaters." Hermione instantly disagreed.

"You would have to be out of your _mind_ to try, there are so many wards you could _never_ get in there." Hermione said empathetically. "You can't just Apparate into or out of Gringotts, even Port keys won't work."

"She's right." Mordred said unexpectedly. "We would need some Veritaserum on a captured Death Eater to find out where their vault is. Either that or we would need a Gringotts employee to know exactly where the Death Eaters vaults are and even then, you'll need their keys, and I don't think you can forge those with some metal and a smelting iron."

"Doesn't your brother Bill work for Gringotts?" Asked Faith, turning to look at Ron. "Do you think he could help?"

"No, he's a bit more honourable than that." Ron replied depressed. "If one person can be robbed at Gringotts then others will be afraid their money can be taken as well, so then Gringotts will lose business and people will begin to suspect him, since he'll be the guiltiest looking one there. He'd be fired, and we'd be fined, and you can be sure the Malfoys will see to it that dad gets implicated and sacked as well, so we'd end up with no money at all."

"Well, it was just an idea." Said Mordred. "We'll think of some other way to get at the Death Eater vaults."

"Ok hey," Dawn said in mock indignation, "I'm supposed to be the ex thief here."

"Alright then, we will let you plan it out." Said Buffy while the others all laughed. Ron then turned to Harry.

"That Zacharis bloke's a wart," he said, "how'd he get in on this if he felt the way he did you?"

"He overheard me talking at the Hufflepuff table," said Hermione, "but the more people the better really, I mean, Michael Corner and his friends wouldn't of come if he hadn't been dating Ginny -"

"He's WHAT?" Ron shouted, his head going red as a tomato. "She's going out with – my baby sister's going – what d'you mean, Michael Corner? When did this happen? Which one was Michael Corner?"

"They met at the Yule Ball and got together last year." Hermione said tiredly. "He's the dark haired one."

"I didn't like him." Ron said immediately while Dawn laughed at him. "I thought she fancied Harry?"

"Ginny _used_ to fancy Harry," Hermione said pityingly, "but she gave up on him months ago. Not that she doesn't _like_ you." She added glancing at Harry, before turning back to Ron.

"This is the reason why she didn't tell you," Hermione said severely, "she knew you'd take it badly. So don't _harp_ on it, for Heaven's sake."

As Ron just muttered, Hermione looked at Harry.

"And speaking of Ginny and Michael," Hermione said with a light smile while Buffy, Faith and Mordred left the others to go Patrol, "what about Cho and you?"

"What do you mean?" asked Harry, his face breaking out into a blush.

"She couldn't keep her eyes off you." Hermione just said lightly as Dawn laughed at his scarlet face before heading back to her dorm.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21: The New Educational Decree #24**

The next day, the students all found large signs on their Common Room notice boards, each one with the same message. It stated:

_By Order of the Ministry of Magic_

_The High Inquisitor will henceforth have supreme authority  
over all punishments, sanctions and removal of privileges pertaining to students of Hogwarts,  
and the power to alter such punishments, sanctions and removals of privileges as may have been ordered by other staff members in accordance to Educational Decree #24._

Harry and Ron tried rushing up the girls' stairs to tell Hermione, but as they were going up a loud alarm started ringing as the stairs turned into a slide, spilling Harry and Ron into a pile at the bottom.

"Ooh, who tried to get upstairs?" Asked Buffy as she and Hermione came sliding down.

"Us. I didn't realize that would happen," said Ron dishevelled, before looking at Hermione. "It's not fair, _you_ get into the boys dorm all the time . . ."

"It's an old-fashioned rule," said Hermione, "but in Hogwarts: A History, the Founders were said to believe that girls were more trustworthy than boys. Why did you want to come up the stairs anyways?"

As Ron and Harry led both girls over to the board, Buffy muttered to Hermione.

"So if we were to try to get any boyfriends up there, they'd have to use a broom," suggested Buffy, "or we'd have to carry them?"

Hermione shushed her while reading the board, her expression becoming stony. She then looked at the others.

"It's not because anyone's blabbed," she said thoughtfully, "its just Umbridge taking more power for herself."

"How do you know that?" Asked Ron.

"Because I Jinxed the parchment we signed," answered Hermione, "believe me, if anyone's squealed we'd hear about it."

"What did you put on it?" Asked Harry worriedly while Ron looked on eagerly.

"Well, let's just say it'll make a sign out of acne for everyone to see." Said Hermione before they all went down for breakfast.

During History class, Harry found his owl Hedwig injured outside the window, so he cut the class to go see Professor McGonagall. The others looked on in mild interest before most of them fell back to sleep as Hermione, Dawn and Mordred scribbled everything Professor Binns lectured on. After class, Harry showed Hermione, Ron and Buffy the letter Sirius had placed on Hedwig's leg so they knew when to meet up at. When they went down to their Potions class, Draco made a comment regarding St. Mungos that upset Neville, but Buffy held him back easily while Dawn looked on in concern. During their Potions class, Umbridge was there to ask Snape questions regarding how long he's been in Hogwarts, what types of potions he had the class make, and why he's never gotten the Defence Against the Dark Arts position despite lobbying for it every year. Harry screwed up his potion, causing him to lose marks as well as having to write an essay on where he went wrong on it. During Divination Trelawney was in a foul mood due to her review from Umbridge, and it was found out from Hermione that Umbridge had also overseen Arithmancy, where she casually insulted Professor Vector by asking her the relevancy of learning the Magical properties of certain numbers.

After classes, Buffy watched Fred and George promote their Puking Pastilles by eating one part, throwing up into a bucket, and then eating the other and getting healthy again. Hermione couldn't do anything to them, as technically they weren't doing anything wrong, and Buffy didn't help her much as she herself put in an order for several, as Dawn had asked for some for pranks on Malfoy and his goons, as well as potential weapons. After the twins collected their money and the crowd dispersed, the Golden Trio and Buffy waited for Sirius to show up. After almost an hour, his face showed up in the flames.

"Well, hello there." Sirius said upon looking at Buffy, who was stretching her arms upwards while yawning and unconsciously thrusting her chest out.

"It's ok," said Harry, "you can trust her."

"Hi." Buffy said with wave. Sirius grinned before speaking to the four.

"Well, I don't have to tell you this, because you're smart enough to know it now," began Sirius, "but Mrs. Weasley told me to pass on a message warning you three, four actually, to not go about getting into any more trouble as the future punishments will be worse than what they are now."

"How can they be worse than this?" Harry asked, showing the scars on his hand to Sirius.

"Well for starters she can ban you from Quidditch," said Sirius, "and she can make it so that _certain_ groups are not permitted to join together, if you catch my drift."

The Trio looked on at him wide-eyed, but Buffy quickly spoke up.

"At least we got it so that she thinks it's a study group," she said, "and not a defence class."

Hermione shushed her, but Sirius only grinned.

"I thought that might be what you lot are up to." He said bemused. "Whose idea was it?"

Hermione held up her hand, while Ron and Harry looked on in pride.

"Can you _trust_ the Slytherins who're to be monitoring your self-led classes?" Asked Sirius. "From what I've heard they're very powerful and dangerous, they call themselves -"

"The Slytherin Triumvirate." Harry finished for him. "We've met them, they're pretty nice people and they actually know what's going on. _More_ so than we do at times."

"Yes well, Dumbledore made a mention of the four new students," said Sirius, "on how they were different than any others he'd ever met."

Sirius then went tense, and looked into the solid brick wall of the fireplace. He then vanished, before a stubby, short-fingered hand covered in old-fashioned rings came groping into view. The Golden Trio jumped away from the fireplace, but Buffy reached into it and held out a mousetrap, which she jammed into Umbridge's hand. The trap snapped close, and they all heard a wailing shriek as the hand disappeared from view.

"That'll teach her to eavesdrop." Said Buffy as Harry and Ron laughed while Hermione looked on worriedly. Later on that night during Patrolling, Buffy handed over the Puking Pastilles she had bought to Mordred, who said he could modify them to make them more lethal for use in weapons as well as pranks. They then went on to take out some Polgara Demons, who had all converged on one of the spots in the Forest. They wiped the Polgara Demons out in few hours before heading back to the Castle.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22: Dumbledore's Army**

During their Charms class the next day, the Golden Trio and Buffy discussed Sirius's near capture as well as Umbridge reading their mail while practicing their Silencing Charms. Buffy and Faith managed to both Silence their frogs, and worked their way up to crows, while Hermione, Dawn and Mordred all kept on Silencing bigger things. Even Mordred's mutant bird PaniChaos got Silenced (it vanished in a huff of fire when he Silenced it, so he had to goad it back with treats he made for it before he could continue the class). During Double Transfiguration they worked on more Vanishing, with Mordred, Dawn and Hermione going all the way to Vanish bigger things, although Mordred lost his team about sixty points when he Vanished Hermione's clothes leaving her in only her undergarments. This got most of the males to cheer from both Houses, and Mordred only _just_ didn't get a detention when he claimed he was trying to Vanish the desk from under Hermione instead (he still got lines to write.) In both Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology they all studied various animals and plants, respectively, that were to be on their exams, and after classes the Gryffindor team went out to practice. When they all went out to practice however, the Gryffindor team could barely see anything due to the weather, which had been dreary all day long, raining constantly and making everyone miserable. So after an hour of dodging the Bludger they set up, Angelina called it quits, sending Buffy off to catch the Bludger. After practice, Harry clutched his scar in pain, causing Ron and Buffy to go to him in worry.

"Did you get a vision or something?" Asked Ron, worried.

"No, he wants something done and it's not happening fast enough for him," said Harry, "he's really angry."

"Blimey Harry," swore Ron, "You're reading You-Know-" Buffy interrupted him.

"His name's Voldyfort," she said, getting a grin from Harry, "show some of that Gryffindor courage and say his name right."

Ron only goggled as Harry laughed at Buffy's mispronunciation as they went back to the Gryffindor Common Room. There, they found Hermione in a chair with Dobby the House Elf in front of her. Dobby was wearing several pairs of socks, hats and scarves, all of them covering him while Harry's owl, Hedwig, sat on top of him hooting. Hermione was frowning at him slightly.

"Hello Dobby," Buffy said, sitting down in one of the chairs. "How do you like some of the socks we made you?"

"Dobby likes them very much, ma'am," Dobby said in a squeaky voice before turning to Harry. "Dobby has Harry's owl, sir."

"Do you take _all_ of the clothes Hermione and Buffy have been leaving out?" Harry asked, as he looked at all the clothes Dobby had on.

"Oh, no sir, Dobby has been taking some for Winky too." Said Dobby. "She says she doesn't care for clothes, but I've heard the other Elves say she has tried on a few things Dawn and Faith have left out for her."

"Faith and Dawn also leave out clothes as well?" asked Harry, looking from Buffy to Hermione, who both slightly grinned.

"Yes sir, as does Mordred," squeaked Dobby, "although he leaves out clothes that have weapons sewn into them. The other Elves now refuse to clean both Gryffindor Tower and Slytherin Dungeon, so Dobby cleans Gryffindor Tower while Winky cleans Slytherin Dungeon."

"Why would the Slytherin Triumvirate make clothes for the Elves?" asked Harry, "what reasons do they have for doing it?"

"They're SPEW members, sir," Dobby said, getting a big smile from Hermione, "although Mordred talked said something about Chaos and taking down an establishment, he told me to pay what he said no mind." Dobby then turned to Hermione.

"Dawn asked Dobby to ask Hermione to pass on the fake Galleons she's been making to all the DA members," said Dobby, "so we can all know when to meet up at and so Dawn can make them all into keys for the Come-And-Go Room. Dobby and Winky will go to each and every member and give him or her their Galleons so they can use them, ma'am."

"How did Dawn know what I was doing for setting up a time schedule?" Hermione asked pointedly to Buffy. "I don't recall telling you about what I was doing?"

"You must've let it slip," suggested Buffy hurriedly before changing the subject. She looked at Dobby with a sly smile on her face.

"How did Winky like the flowers you gave her?" Buffy asked, getting sudden grins from Harry and Hermione. Dobby blushed deeply red and tried to talk, but could only mumble. "Ooooh, sounds like someone's got himself a _girlfriend_!"

Dobby quickly snapped his fingers and vanished, but not before flashing a surprised smile at Buffy. Meanwhile, Harry and Hermione were both laughing slightly.

"Well, at least one of the couples you've been trying to set up seem to be making some progress," said Harry, getting an off-look from Hermione, but she didn't say anything.

"Well, he told us he liked her, except that she drank too much," said Buffy, "so Mordred cast a rather mean spell on her that made her vomit every time she drank anything with alcohol in it, so now all she does is follow Dobby's lead. Faith and Dawn are making a dress for Winky, and I'm making a suit for Dobby for Christmas, while Mordred is offering to make presents for both of them to give each other. It's all very sweet."

"That's really cruel of Mordred," stated Hermione, "what if she gets hurt?"

"Relax," said Buffy, "his spell only makes her throw up when she swallows the alcohol, so she's learned not to drink it anymore." Harry then looked at Hermione.

"You two were saying something about using fake Galleons as ways to tell the others when to meet up at and on what days?" He asked. "How do they work exactly?"

"You see the numerals around the edge of the coins? Well, on regular coins they're the serial numbers set by the Goblins who cast them," Hermione stated, "but on these coins, the numbers will change when the time and date changes. The coins will grow hot with each change, so people who carry them in their pockets will be able to feel them. I've set a Protean Charm on Harry's coin, so whenever he changes the date on his coin, the others will change as well. Also, they can be used as keys for the Room of Requirement, so we can get in and out of there easier."

"You know what these remind me of?" said Harry. "The Death Eaters scars. Voldemort touches one and the others know they have to go to him."

"That _is_ where I got the idea," said Hermione quietly, "but at least I've only engraved the date on bits of metal instead of on the members skins."

"A much better idea IMHO." Said Buffy, getting weird looks from the others. She then clarified. "In My Humble Opinion. Sorry."

During Patrolling Buffy gave Mordred and Faith their coins along with Dawn's, before going to look over the warring Demon clans. Here and there they helped out by Slaying an odd Demon or two so neither side would gain an advantage, before heading back to the Castle.

The next day after most of their classes and before Astronomy, the DA had another meeting. When Hermione had explained what the Galleons she gave the others did, Terry Boot asked her why she wasn't in Ravenclaw due to her intelligence. During that class, they worked on Disarming spells again, as well as the Impediment Jinx, which they used on each other, and the Reductor Curse, which they practiced on the various tables and chairs in the room. Faith showed them some of the spells she learned from the Half-Blood Princes' book, such as the nonverbal spell _Levicorpus, _(which members used to lift each other up in the air via the ankle) and its counter,_ Liberacorpus,_ and_ Muffliato_ (so members could chat outside of class with one another without being overheard). Ginny showed off her Bat-Bogey Hex, which the others used on each other while practicing their Shield Spells.

Mordred also brought out some of the caged Gnomes, and (with Harry's grudging permission) began showing some of the Darker spells he knew. Some of these spells focused on the five senses, including _Caeco_ (a Blinding Spell), _Acersonus_ (a Sonic-noise inducing Spell), and _Foeteo Naris_ (a Spell that put a bad smell into the victim's nose). After working on Shield Charms, Dawn showed the others a shield-collapsing spell called _Protego __Ruina_, which she demonstrated on Mordred when she collapsed his shield and knocked him flat, warning the others not to try it on themselves but on objects as it did hurt a lot.

Before the class ended the Triumvirate made an announcement regarding what they heard from Umbridge.

"Awhile ago," Dawn said, keeping her face neutral, "some of the Slytherins and Umbridge were discussing more ways to deal with keeping order in the school. Umbridge came up with the idea of a team of students loyal to the Ministry being able to inspect the other students, and be able to take away points from the others as they saw fit. The name of this group, when it comes about, will be the Inquisitorial Squad, and they'll be wearing badges with an Eye overlaid with the letter 'I'."

The other students made some nosies of protest about this, but Buffy quickly shushed them so Dawn could continue.

"The Triumvirate has appealed to Umbridge that when this group comes about, which the three of us will be members of -" this got a glare from the others "- we be able to _give_ points as well as take them away. So therefore we might be able to undo any damage the members do to your Houses, however there _are_ some restrictions." Dawn cautioned as the others looked on.

"First, Harry and his friends cannot be seen to be getting any support from other Houses in order to get points. If the other Houses are Anti-Harry and Pro-Ministry, they'll be rewarded points by some memebers of the IS." Dawn said looking at the others before laying her eyes on Harry with an apologetic look on her face. "So, if you can keep your temper in check, I advise the others to say mean things to you to your face and behind your back so it looks like they're all catering to the IS for points, and therefore you're less of a threat to Umbridge. If she thinks everyone, including some Gryffindors, are against Harry, then Umbridge will worry less about the DA, and therefore not look into it."

The others grumbled and looked at Harry, who looked down in thought. Faith then spoke up.

"I know this sounds harsh and unrealistic, but the IS _will_ be coming about as soon as Umbridge can get the Ministry's approval for it." Faith said as the others looked at her. "Now, as far as others being against Harry, we're not saying fight him in the Halls, just complain about him in the IS members presence. I doubt everyone will be able to do this, as the Weasleys and Granger bashing Harry would just make it too suspicious and make Umbridge question what's going on, and I doubt Gryffindor will be getting as many points as the other Houses will due to Harry being a part of it, as that too would raise some questions, but by complaining about him publicily will earn less reprisals from the IS."

"Who will be the memebers, other than yourselves?" Asked Harry, looking up with a controlled yet angry look on his face.

"Malfoy and his two goons, obviously," said Mordred, "as well as Malfoy's two sperm dumps, Pansy Parkinson and Millicent Bulstrode, and the two Quidditch members, Cassius Warrington and Montague. No one else of Slytherin is, as Malfoy is only allowing the ones with family connections or the ones that scare him. Basically, he's either trying to get others to kiss his ass, or kissing ass himself."

"How did you three get in, since Malfoy doesn't trust you so much?" Ron asked suddenly. Faith answered him.

"Well, with some threats from Dawn, some bribes from Mordred, and a few Sweet Nothings in Draco's ear by yours truly," said Faith smiling, "we've managed to convince both Umbridge and him to accept us into the IS as full members. We also have an idea for minimizing the points that will be lost, although it will take some co-operation from one member of each House when the IS starts up."

"What do either Parkinson or Bulstrode think about you cozying up with Malfoy?" Asked Angelina with a mean smile on her face.

"Neither of them knows about it, just as neither of them know that Malfoy is using them both for his own fun and games." Said Faith smiling. "Malfoy is playing them off one another, telling them both they're the girl for him. So we're trying to gauge them both to see if they can be used against Malfoy, get the IS to fight amongst itself while we three remain seen as Umbridge's main source of information and enforcers of her will."

When the others left, the Golden Trio talked with the Slytherin Triumvirate about some of the Dark spells they knew about.

"We are trying to teach how to fight against the Dark Arts," cautioned Hermione, "not use the Dark Arts ourselves."

"Yeah, but then again, we _do_ need a way to attack the Death Eaters," said Mordred icily, "after all, Bat-Bogey Hexes may distract them for awhile but we need something that's a bit more permanent so that they can't attack us right after we've nailed them with a spell."

"Let's see these spells," suggested Harry, "and we'll vote on whether or not they're too Dark to teach the class."

Mordred brought out one of the Gnomes, which began running around nervously. He then cast a _Levicorpus_ Spell on it, holding it up in the air squealing so it couldn't run around.

"Now, this spell deals with intention, as if you just want to cut it once, you have to slash at it once. Observe. _Sectumsempra!_" Mordred said suddenly, slashing his wand in the air.

A gash appeared on the Gnome's torso, blood gushing from it as it screamed in pain. Hermione and Ron looked on in disgust and fear as Mordred turned back to Harry.

"Now see what happens when I do multiple slashes." Mordred said the same spell; only this time he slashed his wand up, down, side to side and then diagonally. Each slash put a gash across the Gnome, so when Mordred was finished the Gnome was cut up but still alive.

"Now, watch this. _Putresco_ _Totalis_!" Mordred said quickly, waving his wand in the same pattern as a Body-Bind Curse.

Instantly the wounds on the Gnome began to rot, making it look like it had been wounded a long time ago and had been decaying ever since. Pus came out of its cuts, as well as its eyes, mouth, and any other area it could. Soon the Gnome stopped moving in the air and died, a rotted sack of flesh that fell apart, covering the floor with its decayed remains. Everyone gagged at the sight while Mordred looked at Harry expectantly. Harry shook himself out of the shock he was in, and looked over the others.

"I think both of those spells are a bit too much for the others right now," said Harry, getting nods from the others. "Anything else?"

"Well, there's the Disrobing spell that I used on Hermione awhile ago," Mordred said, getting a glare from Hermione, "all you have to do is think how the person would look without their clothes on, say _Vestitus Evanesco_," Mordred waved his wand in a pattern before pointing it at a mannequin that appeared in the room, stripping it of its clothes, "and Presto! The person will be down to either their skivvies or their birthday suit, depending on how well you do it."

"That may not look like a Dark Spell," said Hermione worriedly, "but it leads to too many dangerous options. I'm vetoing it."

The Slytherin Triumvirate then took turns showing several different spells, using Gnomes and other animals as test subjects, and by the end they had all agreed on seven new spells to try to teach along with the ones Harry had in mind.

"I won't be teaching them right away, but I _will_ work them into my schedule," Harry said diplomatically, "however, I really don't think that some of those spells you showed us will be safe to show the others, as they did do an awful lot of damage to the Gnomes you used them on. I'd hate to see them used on humans."

"Yeah, that _Castro Genitalus_ spell Faith used was nasty!" Said Ron in a horrified voice. "You make a person's bits and pieces just explode like they were fireworks. I could go a long time in _never_ seeing that happen again."

"Not to mention the _Exuo Cutis_ spell Dawn used," commented Hermione in disgust, "the way I see it, making a spell to strip chunks of a person's flesh off is very Dark Magic indeed."

"You guys almost sound like Umbridge," whined Mordred, "what about _Conglacio Accendo_? I'm sure turning a person's body heat into cold would be a useful spell to teach the others to use against Death Eaters."

"Too risky." Stated Harry firmly. "It'll freeze a person yeah, but as we saw with the Gnome you used it on, they tend to shatter to pieces afterwards." Harry indicated the pieces of thawing Gnome parts on the floor.

"However, the other spells you showed us will be added to my list," Harry said with a smile before they headed off to Astronomy class, "so at least we'll be able to do some extra spells we didn't know beforehand."

Thursday and Friday the Slytherin Triumvirate were involved in Quidditch practice, as was the Ravenclaw members due to their having a game on the weekend. On the Saturday morning, Buffy and the Golden Trio were all sitting in the Gryffindor stands to watch the game. Buffy had a small Slytherin flag on her, which made her sort of ostracized from her fellow Housemates except for the Golden Trio (although Harry and Ron did heckle her about it).

"What?" Buffy asked defensively, "I'm rooting for my sister, and both of my cousins. Harry's rooting for his girlfriend, and she's not Gryffindor. You would do the same as either of us."

"Not if I wanted to be able to sleep in the dorm that night without worrying about being dropped into the lake after I fell asleep." Ron said, getting a grin from Harry, who was sitting next to him and holding a small Ravenclaw flag on him, which he waved occasionally. Hermione looked over Buffy at the two boys and scowled, before talking to Buffy.

"It's ok to root for whatever team you want to, as Harry's rooting for Ravenclaw for _obvious_ reasons," Hermione said, getting a blush from Harry, "but don't feel bad when others start booing, as Slytherin is known for cheating at times. Umbridge has really screwed things up though, making back-to-back Slytherin matches."

The others shrugged as the whistle went off, and the game began with Ravenclaws' Chaser and Captain, Roger Davies, getting to the Quaffle before any of the three Slytherin Chasers, former Captain Montague, Adrian Pucey, or C. Warrington could get at it. Tri-Captain Mordred, who was playing Keeper, began going around all three hoops in a Double Eight Loop, going at an extremely high speed. When Davies tried to score on him Mordred caught it and fired it so fast it was past the Ravenclaw's Keeper Eddie Carmichael, and into a hoop before anyone could see it. Tri-Captain Dawn, who was the Seeker, kept close to Cho Chang, shadowing her every move, while Tri-Captain Faith, one of the Beaters, followed both of the Bludgers, hitting them occasionally and keeping them out of play.

"What is she doing?" asked Ron to Harry as Dawn waved her hand above her head as if waving to someone.

"Look out!" Harry cried futilely, but it was too late.

Faith then smacked one of the Bludgers just as Dawn moved off to the side, sending it directly into Cho Chang's face. As she fell to the ground unconscious, Faith nailed the other Bludger at Carmichael, knocking him out cold as well. Cho Chang and Carmichael both had to be carried off the field, and when Harry went to look in on her he was told her skull was fractured quite severely and could no longer play that match. Both Padma Patil and Sarah Fawcett went after the Bludgers, waving their bats in fury, but before they could get to them Montague had gotten in another goal on the now-unattended Ravenclaw goalpost. Dawn flew around directing traffic, taking on her Captaining duties, as she was free to get the Snitch anytime she chose to now. The non-Slytherin members of the crowd jeered as Adrian Pucey captured the Quaffle from Ravenclaw Chaser Scott Bradley and scored another goal for Slytherin.

"You happy for your sister and cousins now?" asked Ron, who was scowling at Buffy for her flag. She held his gaze for a moment, then looked back onto the pitch and continued waving her flag proudly, occasionally yelling out 'Go Dawn! Get the Snitch!' whenever she could. The crowd of Slytherins dropped into their usual chant of "Score! Slytherin! Score!" as the game wore on.

The match went on the same for ten hours straight, well into the evening, with Dawn holding off getting the Snitch while the Slytherin Beaters Faith and Miles Bletchley (who was formerly the Keeper) knocking out two of the Ravenclaw Chasers, leaving only Edward Chambers left to Chase after the Quaffle. By that time, Slytherin had scored an average of once every two minutes, getting them about over a thousand points after only four hours. When Dawn decided to go looking for the Snitch, it was snowing heavily by that time, so she had to look harder for the Snitch than she thought she would. The Slytherin team had gotten over three thousand points in total that game with her capture of the Snitch, putting them into the lead with four thousand, two hundred and twenty-five points in the series total and leaving the other two teams to look on in worry.

"You have to admit though," Buffy said slowly, "their idea is a good one, with the knocking out the major players and racking up the points before getting the Snitch."

"Yeah, but Mordred was moving so fast he caught the Quaffle every time it was sent his way," lamented Ron, "I could never catch it at that speed."

"Yeah well," Harry said consolingly as they trudged back to the Castle, "that just means that Buffy will have to knock out the Chasers before they get to you, and I have to wait about half a day before even looking for the Snitch."

"Well, I can think of one thing that'll cheer everyone up." Said Hermione as the others looked at her sceptically. "Hagrid's back."

She then pointed to the Hut and sure enough, there was smoke coming out of it.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23: Hagrid's tale gets Spiked**

The Golden Trio rushed up to the Tower, where Harry got his Cloak for Hermione and Ron. Buffy had her permission slip from Dumbledore, so she went to where the Slytherin Triumvirate were at and brought them over to Hagrid's Hut, where they met up with the Golden Trio, whom were all under the Cloak. Mordred used one of his wands to wipe up the footprints in the snow that the Trio had forgotten about while the other three waited behind the Trio. When they knocked on the door, Hagrid opened up the door and Hermione almost let loose a scream of fear that was aborted when Dawn clamped her hand over Hermione's mouth.

"Inside you lot," Hagrid said, "I have a guest here who's just leav-"

"Spike!" Said Dawn, as she saw the platinum-haired Vampire sitting back enjoying a nice cup of blood. He smiled as Buffy and Faith grinned when Dawn went and gave him a big hug. Mordred was looking over Hagrid, and after a few moments, he looked over his shoulder.

"PaniChaos!" Mordred called, causing a pop of fire as the two-headed bird came into view. "Tears please. We have a friend to fix up."

"Yes boss!" said one head. "You betcha!" another head cried.

They filled up one of Hagrid's cups with their tears, and Mordred got Hermione to administer it to Hagrid's injured eye and face, before having Hagrid gulp down a cupful of the tears. He healed up quite fine, and was able to make introductions along with Spike.

"Hello you lot," Hagrid said, "and who you might be?"

"Dawn Summers, of Slytherin," Dawn said before turning to the other three, "and this is Buffy, my sister who's in Gryffindor, and Mordred and Faith, who are with me in Slytherin. But don't worry," Dawn paused smiling, "we're not bigots like some of the other Slytherins."

The Golden Trio and Buffy all nodded their heads while Faith looked up at him, smiling. Mordred's face was covered in his hoods and goggles, but he managed to grin slightly at Hagrid.

"Ok, why don't you take off your cloaks and stay awhile?" Hagrid suggested, offering them seats. "Or at least take off your hood, I won't bite."

Mordred pushed back his hoods, but kept his sunglasses on. Hagrid poured them all some drinks, and offered them some of his Treacle Fudge, which he had with him from his journey (only Mordred accepted, as he swallowed his down whole in one gulp). Harry asked Hagrid where he'd been, and before Hagrid could even answer Dawn piped up.

"You've been out looking for the Giants." Dawn said matter-of-factly, causing Hagrid to spill his drink. "The injuries you have seem to be new, meaning you've brought back at least one Giant with you, and he's probably back in the Forest somewhere, correct?"

Hagrid got a worried look on his face, while the Golden Trio just stared at her. Mordred grinned his pointy-toothed grin, while Faith and Buffy looked on in interest.

"How'd you know all that?" he asked after a moment's pause, looking at her intently. She shuffled under his gaze and replied in a semi-nonchalant voice.

"We hear things from the creatures we hang out with," said Dawn, glancing at Spike. She then carefully chose her words. "I take it the meeting with the Giants didn't go as planned?"

"Too right you are." Said Hagrid. "I ought not to be telling you this, but since Spike here helped me out of a jam it's only fair since he'll probably tell you lot anyways what happened."

Hagrid then told his story, starting off with when he and Olympe left Hogwarts on foot and had to dodge the tail the Ministry had put on them. When they finally had gotten to the Giants they had to not use their Magic, as the Giants disliked Mages due to them being driven off by Mages in the past. Hagrid and Olympe were both able to appease the then-leader, the Gurg Karkus, who cast a sympathetic ear towards the two half-Giants. But Karkus was killed off by Golgomath, another Giant who had been swayed by what the Death Eaters had told him and tried attacking Hagrid and Olympe. But Olympe fought back using Magic, and Spike came in and attacked some of the Giants, even killing one of the Death Eaters that were watching the events by drinking him dry and then stealing his wand for use against the other Giants. The three got away, and Spike introduced himself as a "friend of a friend of Dumbledore", which caused confusion and distrust since he was a Vampire in spite of him helping them out.

"Yeah, I helped him and his girlfriend out," said Spike, getting Hagrid to blush scarlet, "but it wasn't easy. The big blokes chased us, and the only two spells I knew on how to do was that flashlight spell and shooting fire, so we were all buggered if we didn't get out of there real fast. The guys in the KKK uniforms also took some shots at use when we were running. Chicken-shit gits." Spike said with a scowl before moving on.

"Then brain trust here," Spike indicated Hagrid with his thumb, "got the idea to go to the other Giants that were in the caves and get them to come with him, but the bad Giants raided the caves leaving maybe only one Giant left. He's just a young one though, so I -"

Someone knocking at the door interrupted him. The others looked and saw Umbridge's shadow outside the door, causing the Golden Trio to go into a corner and hide under their Invisibility Cloak while the Slytherin Triumvirate, Buffy and Spike waited for Hagrid to open up the door. When he did, Umbridge came striding in, about to ask rude questions, when the Triumvirate stopped her.

"What are you four doing here?" asked Umbridge in a curious tone. She then spoke to them as if Hagrid was not smart enough to figure out regular English. "I doubt visiting a half-breed is part of your Patrolling rituals, however they may go in the US, and from what I understand, Dawn is not a part of the Patrolling yet."

"That's just it," Dawn said quickly, "I need the practice in order to become fully integrated into our faith, and while we came out after the game to discuss this, Professor Hagrid invited us in for some drinks. We couldn't turn him down, as we thought we'd be able to tell him about our need to go Patrolling once every night, so he doesn't get confused by seeing us late."

Buffy, Faith, and Mordred showed Hagrid their notes from Dumbledore, while Dawn smiled at Umbridge. Umbridge smiled back in a falsely sweet manner, but before she could say anything Dawn went to her and whispered something. The two of them went out and walked towards the Castle, leaving the others alone. Hagrid turned back to them, peering curiously at the foreign students.

"Patrolling as a religious duty?" Hagrid asked slyly. "Patrolling for what, exactly?"

"Religious duty," replied Buffy, stamping on Harry's foot while Mordred and Faith did the same for Ron and Hermione, "very private and personal stuff that you can ask Principal Thumbtackerdoor about."

"Who's Principal Thumbtackerdoor?" asked Hagrid incredulously.

Buffy sputtered, and then began spitting out more mispronunciations of Dumbledore's name, from Cumblecore to Rumpelsore to Humblehore. The Golden Trio, Faith and Mordred all laughed until Spike decided to clue Hagrid in on what Buffy was trying to get across.

"She means Dumbledore," Spike said before rolling his eyes at Buffy, "you're never going to pronounce his name right, are yah luv?"

Hagrid then shooed them all out of his Cottage, and the Slayers and Mordred talked with the Golden Trio before going off to Patrol with Spike.

"The reason why we didn't tell him," explained Faith "is because we were told by Headmaster D to not tell anyone about us. You three with Ginny just caught us off our guard, and we'd appreciate it if you didn't go about tooting your horns about us. Now, off you go."

The Trio went back to the Castle as Mordred, Spike, and the Slayers went off Patrolling on their broomsticks, and found one of the mountains had a small army of Shamblers on it, shooting off lightening into the air and cutting trees down with their claws. The three of them Conjured a lake's worth of water above the beasts, waiting for all the Shamblers to shoot lightening up into it before dropping it on them, frying them. Mordred then began creating snowmen out of the snow and ice on the ground there. When the Slayers asked him why do this, Mordred smiled slyly and looked over his creations.

"Well, if you notice they're not regular snowmen," Mordred said, "for instance they have arms and legs, and now," Mordred waved his wand at them, causing them all to move, "they're _alllliiiive_. I figure with a little Magic they can create more of themselves, and with enough of them we can make an army of Snow Golems to fight our battles. Slaying evil in the laziest way possible."

"Will they be able to tell the difference between good Vamps," asked Spike apprehensively, "and bad ones?"

"I've set them up for now to only create and animate other Snow Golems, so you don't have to worry about that yet." Mordred said. "I'll set them up to recognize soul-less Vamps and other monsters as threats, and when I have enough, I'll set a team upon some Vamps, even numbers to start out with."

"Great, now we have expendable minions of our own," quipped Buffy, "at least until spring."

"Should make things easier for us," said Faith, "but I'll still take us Slaying over a bunch of mindless snowmen doing our jobs for us."

"Yeah well, if you can't view it as help," said Mordred grinning, "view it as competition. See how many Vamps we slay a night in comparison to what they slay. Who knows, we might even be able to wipe out all the Vamps in the area, even get a few Ubervamps and Grandfathers as well, so we can do our exams without worrying about Slaying."

The girls both groaned as the three of them flew back to the Castle, dropping off Spike at Hagrid's who allowed him to stay for the day. On Monday, Dawn told Faith and Mordred that the IS idea has been green lit by Umbridge, who was only waiting for the right time to make it official sometime after the Holidays. The Monday passed without too much incident other than Mordred and Dawn both getting praise from Snape for having excellent potions while Hermione glowered for being ignored, while Buffy caused her potion to explode into fire (which was really odd, considering none of the potion ingredients were flammable to begin with). Mordred set his Snow Golem Army, which was now one-hundred strong, out to go searching for Vamps and slay them night and day while making more Snow Golems on the iced up river, in the mountains, in the forest, and other places that were out of sight and had snow.

On Tuesday after lunch was the first Care of Magical Creatures with Hagrid, and it turned out to be both good and bad for various reasons. The students found Hagrid with a dead cow carcass draped over his shoulder, and some new bruises on his face. He brought them into the forest partway, where he set the cow down and gave out an odd, shrieking cry.

"This is where we learn about Thestrals," murmured Dawn to Mordred and Faith, while Buffy stood with her Housemates. After awhile, some large winged horses with black skeletal bodies, Dragonish faces and necks, and white shining eyes came out of the gloom, staring at the class before biting into the cow's carcass.

"Now," Hagrid said proudly, "put your hand up if you can see them."

Of the Gryffindors, Buffy, Harry, and Neville raised their hands while the Slytherin Triumvirate and one other Slytherin named Theodore Nott raised their hands. When Draco asked what they were looking at, Hagrid pointed out that a cow's corpse doesn't usually eat itself, as there were chunks of meat disappearing from it. The class gaped at it, and then Dawn decided to tell them what she saw was obvious.

"They're Thestrals." Stated Dawn, getting some looks of comprehension along with fear on the students' faces. "They're only visible to people who've seen death before."

"That's exactly right," said Hagrid, "ten points to Gry- I mean, Slytherin." He amended, looking at Dawn's badge on her uniform. Before he could move on, Umbridge interrupted him. She spoke to him very loudly and slowly, as if he was both hard of hearing and extremely stupid.

"What - are - you - teaching - the - class?" She asked slowly, waving her hands in the air at a crude attempt at sign language. Draco and his goons laughed out loud while the rest of Gryffindor looked ill, the Golden Trio were all fuming in rage.

"Thestrals." Stated Hagrid bluntly, causing Umbridge to glare in the direction he was pointing at. She made some notes, commenting on what she was writing about, and then went over to the students to ask them what they thought of Hagrid's classes while he taught.

"Do you find that you are able to understand Professor Hagrid when he talks?" Umbridge asked Pansy, while Hagrid tried to go on with his teaching.

"No, because it sounds like grunting at times." Replied Pansy, who was giggling while she spoke. Umbridge made a note of this, before turning to look at Draco.

"Has any of you been injured by any of the beasts Professor Hagrid has shown the class?" She asked, getting a raised hand from Draco.

"That was me," Draco said, "I was slashed by a Hippogriff."

"Only because he was too stupid to do what Hagrid told him to do!" Harry said out loud, while the other Gryffindor students groaned. Umbridge turned to him and smiled.

"It seems you've forgotten your manners, Potter," she said in a sickly-sweet manner, "perhaps a week's worth of detentions will remind you?" This caused Hagrid to blanch and began trying to defend him.

"Now wait here a minute!" He said to Umbridge, looking confused. "You can't do that!"

"Oh yes I can!" Umbridge shot back. "In case you weren't informed, as Hogwarts High Inquisitor I have the ability to punish _any_ students for any infractions I know about in any way I see fit too." She then wrote something else down in her notepad before closing it up with a snap.

"Well Hagrid," Umbridge turned to look up at him again, speaking once more in a slow, loud voice, "I think I've got enough to be getting along with. You will receive -" she imitated taking something from the air in front of her "- the results of your inspection -" she pointed at the notepad "-in ten days' time." She held up her hands, displaying ten stubby little digits while smiling before she waddled back off to the Castle. After class, Hermione complained about Umbridge's stance on half-breeds all the way back to the Castle, while Harry, Ron, and Buffy looked on in shared anger.

"At least on the bright side," Buffy whispered to the Trio after Malfoy and his goons had passed by, "Umbridge is in favour of the Triumvirate's idea of the IS, so it will be starting up soon."

"How is a Slytherin-based group being able to take away points a good thing again?" Asked Ron in a bemoaned manner.

"Because they'll be able to _give_ points as well as take them away," replied Buffy. "Imagine how more enthusiastic the DA members will be when they start getting points for what we're learning."


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24: ****December Dizziness**

That night, the DA got together after Harry came back from having detention, and began going over Stunning Spells and the Impediment Jinx before moving on to more complicated spells that Mordred had suggested.

"Now, I want you to picture yourself as you are right now," Harry was saying to his class, who all had their wands out after he had demonstrated the spell he was teaching, "and focus on that image. Do you have it yet? Good. On the count of three, we're going to create Holograms of ourselves using the word _Hologramus_. One . . . two . . . Three!"

They all shouted '_Hologramus'_ together, and filled the air with bright lights. Only the Golden Trio, the Slytherin Triumvirate and Buffy were able to make acceptable Holograms, as the others only made faint lights. Some had made partial images, whereas others could only make light. They all practiced for an hour, with Harry going about them and helping them all out. By the end of an hour, the worse of them could make a faint Hologram of themselves. The students were tired after the hour, so they took a five-minute break where Buffy and Faith spoke to Harry privately. When he blew on his whistle, he then addressed the crowd.

"Ok, this part of the lesson will be taught by both Buffy and Faith," said Harry, getting odd looks from the others, "as they have more experience at physically disarming people than I do."

Buffy and Faith both went took Harry's place as he went into the crowd of students as they turned to address the class.

"Ok, how many of you know on how to physically defend yourselves?" Asked Buffy as Faith looked on. Dawn and Mordred both raised their hands, while the Weasley twins tentatively raised theirs, but before the others could say anything Smith objected.

"What do we need to learn Muggle fighting for?" he asked rudely, "we're Wizards, we've got wands to defend ourselves with."

"Well what happens if you lose your wand in a fight?" asked Faith, before answering her own question. "You lose, period." Buffy continued.

"You think you won't get beaten just because you have Magic?" Buffy asked. When Smith shook his head she motioned him up. "Ok, let's prove that then. Come on up here."

He went up to her, holding his wand out.

"Place your wand at my neck." Buffy said, making Smith goggle his eyes at her. He did as she asked him to though, as Faith backed off.

"Ok, on my count of three, you'll try to nail her with a spell while Buffy disarms you." Faith said. "One . . . two . . . three!"

Before Smith could say anything Buffy had pulled his arm towards him and yanked his wand out of his hand before pointing it at his throat.

"Now, not only do you not have your wand," Buffy said, "but I have my own as well as yours. Try what I did to you, without me doing a spell first."

Smith grabbed her arm and tried using brute force, but Buffy corrected him and showed him how to use momentum as his way of getting his wand back. She then addressed the class.

"Ok, pair off with someone you can trust and start with disarming only to begin with." Buffy said as the others paired off. "We can work on throws and holds after a few of us have gotten better at the basic disarming."

The others went into pairs, with Dawn working with Neville while Harry worked with Buffy, and Faith worked with Hermione. Ron and Mordred worked together, while other pairs remained the same. After a while, they progressed to incorporating head and arm throws into the disarming, and then began working on holds to either choke out the opponent without harming them, or just disabling a limb without actually breaking it. The two Slayers showed some of the techniques they knew to the others, such as how and where to kick a person in the shin in order to break it, or how to hit a person's nose the right way to break that. They used each other as examples, hitting hard enough to hurt but not hard enough to injure, and they cautioned the others about how hard and fast to hit, as Mordred's bird PaniChaos could only heal injuries, not raise the dead. After the class, most of them went back to their dorms, aching and exhausted but happy at the new thing they learned, while Buffy, Faith and Mordred went out Patrolling.

The next day, Harry let them all know that the date for the next meeting was on the Thursday of that very week, making all the members giddy with excitement, although the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws all grumbled about their upcoming Quidditch match together in a month or so.

"Even though this will put a strain on us regarding O.W.L.s and Quidditch," commented Harry to Hermione and Ron, "we really need the extra practice."

Harry practically floated through his classes the next day, although this wasn't as good a thing to do as he wound up with a ton of homework. Mordred had some fun by floating some small items in the air and entangling them in Harry's hair, of which Harry only noticed when Hermione or Ron pointed out that he had flowers growing over his ears in Herbology. Patrolling that night for the Slayers and Mordred was unnecessary, as Mordred had set his Snow Golem armies to attacking Vamps and other Demons using stakes for fingers as well as other melee objects, so all the Slayers did was watch and direct the troops while Mordred went around collecting more potion ingredients. The Thursday after dinner and after Harry's detention they had another DA meeting. They went over some of the spells they knew, before moving on to new spells the Triumvirate had found out about.

"Ok guys, this is like the _Hologramus _spell, only a bit different," said Dawn after she divided up the class into pairs. "These two spells work on making your victim see a reflection of themselves, either a mirror image, or a shadow image. The names of these two spells are _Doppelumbra_, the Shadow Doppelganger, and _Doppelspeculum_, the Mirror Doppelganger. These spells are useful in that they provide a distraction to your opponent, and can be used as shields _if_ you place a Shield Spell on your Doppelgangers."

The pairs all tried out the first spell (Shadow Doppelganger) and within an hour everyone had progressed to making very good shadows of their opponents. Some had even managed to make the shadows grow, making large shields (although they ended up being a bit weaker, due to stretching). They then went to work on making Mirror Doppelgangers, and only the people who perfected the Hologram spell (Hermione, Dawn, Ginny, and Mordred, although Ron and Harry were very close behind them) were able to make picture-perfect Doppelgangers. After the class the Slayers and Mordred went Patrolling while the rest of the students went back to their dorms.

That night in Patrolling marked a new trend, as the Slayers and Mordred found they had nothing to Slay as all of Mordred's Snow Golems were taking care of everything. The armies of Demons that had been fighting each other had whittled themselves down to such a low number that when the Snow Golems arrived to attack them, the monsters were almost all wiped out. Many species of Demon were killed off, and the Slayers and Mordred, from their brooms in the air, picked off the ones that survived the initial assault by the Snow Golems.

On the weekend, everyone in Fifth-year was working on extra homework, which loaded them down so much that some worried whether or not they could ever finish it before their grandchildren got out of Hogwarts, let alone before the due dates. Ron and Hermione's Prefect duties got more burdensome, as they had to patrol the hallways in shifts with Filch, oversee decoration of the school for the Holidays, and supervise the First and Second Years when they were inside (without killing the little bastards). Buffy helped out where she could, and Dawn helped out her section with some grudging help from Faith, whereas Mordred tried to hinder them all as much as possible in an almost frenzy-like competition with Peeves, with the two of them pulling pranks on people throughout the Castle. The Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw Quidditch teams were training for their big game in December, so they both had not only the extra homework, but also an upcoming game to worry about.

Monday of the week was the same as the last, with mountains of homework being given to the students as well as the Quidditch pitch being fought over by the four teams for practice. Tuesday looked to be the same until during Care of Magical Creatures, Hagrid took the class back to a dark cave for them to look at the 'creature' he was going to show them all.

"Now, before I show you this creature," Hagrid said to the class, "I'm going to give about five hints as to what it is. First person to guess what it is gets their House some points, starting with fifty and dropping down ten points each hint." The class murmured appreciatively.

"Ok, first hint: this creature is classified as non-Wizard, but only part human." Hagrid said, a sly look on his face. When there were no guesses, he then continued. "Second hint: Centaurs oppose them."

Dawn, Mordred, and Hermione all raised their hands, causing Hagrid to have the three play Paper-Rock-Scissors. When Dawn won that to the dismay of Hermione, she gave her guess.

"It's a Vampire." Dawn said, getting a grin from Hagrid.

"That's correct, forty points to Slytherin," said Hagrid. "Not only is it a Vampire, but I do believe some of you know this one already."

He ushered them all in, where they found a Platinum-haired Vampire in a trench coat and leather pants, smoking a cigarette.

"Come on in kiddies," Spike said waving them towards him, "there's plenty of blood in the fridge." Faith walked up to him and waved to get his attention.

"Hey Spike," asked Faith, "mind if I bum a smoke off yah?"

"Oi!" snapped Hagrid, alarmed. "Students aren't supposed to smoke, school regulations and all."

"Not even outside?" Asked Faith with a whine. "That sucks." Spike laughed at her.

"Great, now I don't have to worry about the mooch here taking all my fags from me." Said Spike before looking over the students. "Now, what about the rest of -" Spike's eyes alighted on Draco, and he did a double take.

"Hey, it's Mini-Me!" Spike said, rushing over to Draco and going in front of him. "What's your name, Clone-Boy?"

"Malfoy. Draco Malfoy." Sneered Draco as he looked at Hagrid. "Is this all this thing does? Boast he's a Vampire?"

Spike then went into Vamp-face, his fangs elongating as his eyes turned yellow and his head went all bumpy. He growled at Draco, who shrieked and hid behind the other Slytherins, whom were all cowering back with the exception of the Triumvirate. Spike then looked at Hagrid.

"Can I Sire him?" Spike asked before changing his face back to normal, "I always wanted a pet clone before."

"No! What I want you to do," said Hagrid, "is to tell them about what life is like as a Vampire, and which of the myths hold true to Vampires?"

"Ok, straight to business then." Spike said, turning back to the class. "First, the basics of Vampires: We drink blood. It's not the only thing we eat, as I myself happen to like crumble up some Weetabix into my blood to give it some texture," this caused some of the class to cringe in disgust, "and we can in fact drink regular drinks like coffee and Bourbon, although we get jittery or drunk like anyone else does." Spike then held up his hands and counted down using his fingers.

"Major turn-offs: Sunlight, garlic, crosses and holy water, staking, beheading, and burning." He said, counting each one off. "We tend to live in dark areas, far away from the light but close enough to our food source that we can get to it with ease. There are several different types of Vampire, of which you may or may not have heard of before."

"There's myself, a rare gem in that I have a soul where most other Vamps do not." Spike said smiling. "We can make ourselves look human but have to change when we feed. We can Sire other Vamps by feeding our blood into the victims that are about to die."

"Another type of Vampire is the Turok-Han, also known as an Ubervamp." Said Spike, taking a moving photo out of his coat and handing it to one of the students. "These bad boys are an older race of Vampire, with bat winged ears and a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth that can't close. They have bodies encased in black armour, and their only weaknesses are burning, sunlight, decapitation, and very forceful staking through their armour into their chests. More often than not the stakes just break."

The students all passed the photo around them, gazing at it in unease. Spike then pulled out another photo, handing it to another student.

"This is called a Grandfather." Spike said. "Not much is know about these, however they have Magic of their own. You heard me correctly; they have Magic of their own, so any of you punks actually see one and think you can take it out using Magic alone deserves the fate you get. None of our kind is to be taken lightly, especially the Grandfathers. Now, questions?"

"Can you turn into mist?" asked a nervous looking Lavender, whose dark skin had paled since seeing Spike go into Vamp face.

"No, and I can't turn into a bat, a wolf, or any other animals." Said Spike irritatedly, "only that bloke Dracula can do that, and only because he knows some shoddy Gypsy Magic. Sodding poofter."

The class asked him some more questions, and he answered them all, giving his own spin on things. When it was time to leave, Spike tried to pull a practical joke on all of them by Vamping out and chasing after them, only to get a double punch from Faith and Buffy, which dropped him on the ground. The class got homework on Vampires added onto their pile, asking them whether all Vampires should be considered evil or not and why. That night, Harry found out from Ron that he was spending the Holidays at the Burrow, while Hermione was going skiing with her parents and Buffy was staying at Hogwarts with the Triumvirate. On Wednesday, the students all worked on homework and studying, while the less mature students all played in the growing snow, bewitching snow balls to fly up and hit the windows while the Fifth and Seventh Years studied.

The next DA class was on the Wednesday between dinner and Astronomy, so the DA members all brought their homework with them so they'd all get to class on time. They worked on _Interstringo, _a Constriction Spell that Mordred used on a Gnome to crush it into a pulp and_ Desudocorpus_, a Dehydration Hex that Mordred used on an entire Grindylow tank to suck out all the water of the tank and the creatures there, making them all dehydrate and crumple into husks. They also practiced Jinxes including: Trip Jinxes, Antler Jinxes, Backfiring Jinxes, Insect Jinxes (this was a funny one as they used it on themselves to make fools out of each other), Jelly-Legs Jinxes and Jelly-Brain Jinxes. During all of this they practiced using Shield Spells so that they got better at it. Dawn talked to the twins about Essence of Murtlap for use in their Fever Fudge Prototype in exchange for samples of some of it as well as other so she could mix them into a more lethal substance ("For use against Death Eaters" was her excuse.) Patrolling at nights now consisted of mainly looking for areas to practice spells and work on homework, as the Snow Golems had gotten rid of most of the monsters in the general area. Mordred had made many more in Hogsmeade during the weekend, making it so that they only moved when no one was looking at them so that they could make more without it being too obvious. Despite his precautions, many people noticed so he made some specifically to polish the ice on the Lake and to clear the roads in Hogsmeade (the excess snow was used to make more Snow Golems). He also made many more down in the ravine and up on the mountains, where they were better hidden, and he even made some in Hagrid's size so that he could add more muscle to his growing army.

During the two weeks leading to the Hufflepuff-Ravenclaw match, tensions ran high between both Houses, as they had a match to think about as well as homework. During DA classes Harry had to remind each member not to attack one another just to knock them out of competition for the game, as they're all training to defeat Voldemort, not to hurt one another. During the first class on Tuesday they worked on Silencing Charms (as silencing the opponent made it harder for them to fight back), _Langlock_ and the Tongue-Tying Hex (which both worked on the victim's tongues) as well as some basic Banishing and Summoning Charms. Their second class on Thursday the next week they worked on the Healing Charm, _Episkey_, as well as the Reviving Spells. Regular classes themselves were harsh as the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were all stuck in the same classes, so there were occasionally fights breaking out in some of the classes between students that were on the Quidditch teams.

Four weeks after the Slytherin-Ravenclaw match, the Hufflepuff-Ravenclaw match happened. Lee Jordan announced alongside with Mordred Flaggson for the match, and between the two of them, they managed to insult all four teams within the first five minutes of the game (although for Lee it was more inadvertent, as he was goaded into insulting the other teams by Mordred.) The match ended when Cho Chang caught the Snitch, getting her team the win at one hundred and ninety points in total. Although happy for the win, the Ravenclaws were depressed since they were nowhere near catching up to Slytherin.

During the final two weeks before the Winter Holidays, homework piled up faster than even the smartest, hardest working students could keep up with, causing them all to get lousy sleep at night and to have their tempers flare up at the worst times. Fights broke out occasionally, causing the Professors to have to start handing out punishments dealing with manual labour as most of the fights were within House so loss of points was seen as not effective enough (although points were taken when the Professors found students fighting.) During the second last week of school, all four House teams literally came to blows for use of the Quidditch pitch, causing Professors to dock points from each House. The only thing that kept the school from attacking itself was Dumbledore, who managed to calm everyone down a bit by talking about how his memories of what happened when he was their age, as well as the DA class that Harry called for on the Thursday while Slytherin was having practice (the Triumvirate had asked him to do this so that the DA stays together throughout this tough time, also Faith had her birthday and wanted to party for it so having a Defence class was not one of her ideas for a party). During this class the students worked on various spells that they had practiced beforehand, and Harry also had them practice three extra spells: _Alohomora_ and _Colloportus, _both used for the opening and locking of doors, respectively, and _Rictusempra_ which Harry allowed the others to practice on him before each other as he believed a little laughter was what was needed from all of them.

On the Friday, however, Draco made a mean comment about the Potter and Weasley families to his face during Quidditch practice, and rather than doing a smart thing and ignore it, Harry attacked Draco while Fred and George took out Crabbe and Goyle. Although Draco got a broken nose out of it, Umbridge caught Harry. She punished him and the twins by giving them a lifetime ban from Quidditch, which she explained must have been the cause of Harry's 'unexplainable animosity' towards Draco.

"By the power vested in me," sneered Umbridge triumphantly as she passed down sentence on Harry and the Weasley twins, "by Educational Decree #24, I hereby ban you three from ever playing Quidditch in Hogwarts again." She then confiscated all three of their brooms, leaving the entire Gryffindor team devastated by her actions.

During the final week, the classes were mostly set on edge because of this decision, as the three Houses other than Slytherin realized that if Umbridge could ban Harry from Quidditch out of spite, she could do the same for other students too. Even though everyone knew Umbridge had been out to get at Harry since she came to the school, other students were afraid they were next (with the exception of the Slytherins, whose families were controlling the Ministry and therefore Umbridge with their influence.) Some people, however, were able to find the bright side of things, as Mordred came to school during the last week without his hoods on. Instead, he had a hat made out of Mistletoe on his head, and he went about everywhere with it on. When Dawn and Faith saw him in it he posed for them to get a picture.

"How's it sit?" he asked, "Pretty cunning, don't you think?" Dawn and Faith managed not to laugh out loud only by biting their tongues.

"I think it's the sweetest hat ever." Dawn said with a grin while taking Mordred's picture. Faith managed to not guffaw.

"A man walks down the street in that hat," Faith said while laughing, "people know he's not afraid of anything."

"Damn straight!" Replied Mordred.

From then on, every female he passed he'd stop and pucker up his lips, only to get slapped across the face by so many different female students of every House that the Professors didn't even bother taking points away, instead, some made cheeky comments to him (McGonagall went so far as to _award_ points to the Houses of the girls who slapped him). Mordred tried this on Hermione, Ginny, Lavender, Pansy, Millicent, both Patil twins, Cho, Marietta, and many other girls, getting either slapped or Jinxed in response while Dawn, Buffy, and Faith watched and laughed. After Potions class on Wednesday, he was told to take off the hat by a very annoyed Snape, who claimed that genius students like Mordred shouldn't resort to cheap ploys like that for attention from girls.

Harry arrived early for the final DA class of the term and he was lucky he did, as Dobby had decorated the class for Christmas, by stringing a hundred golden baubles from the ceiling, each showing a picture of Harry's face and having the words "HAVE A VERY HARRY CHRISTMAS!" on all of them. Harry worked frantically to take them all down, and had only just got the last ones down when Luna came in with her trademark dreamy stare.

"Mistletoe." Stated Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries that were over Harry's head. He leapt out from under them, but instead of being offended Luna just smiled.

"Good thinking," said Luna very seriously, "they're often infested with Nargles." Before Harry could ask what she was talking about, Angelina, Katie, Mordred, Dawn, and others came in.

"Well, we've replaced you," said Angelina while Mordred reached through his robes for something.

"Replaced me?" asked Harry, not getting the connection. Before Angelina could answer, Mordred supplied his own answer.

"We replaced you with a new teacher for the DA," said Mordred smiling wickedly, "with this!" Mordred pulled out a _Mimbulus mimbletonia_ from his robes and squirted Harry in the face with its stink sap. "It has a natural defence system that I thought we could incorporate into our classes?"

When the others glared at Mordred while Harry cleaned off the stink sap covering his face, Mordred put the plant away and held out his hands.

"Hey, in a few years you'll be laughing about this," chided Mordred, "trust me."

After Harry cleaned himself off, Angelina told Harry he had been replaced as a Seeker by Ginny, while Fred and George were replaced by Andrew Kirke and Jack Sloper. The other DA members came in, so Harry decided to do this entire session on the things they've already done so far with the promise of starting on Patronus Charms when they came back, along with any ideas the others had during the Holidays. They worked on the Impediment Jinx and the Stunning Spell for the entire class, with Harry occasionally walking around the class helping others out. Mordred made a snake by accident and then Vanished it, but other than that the class did very well at the spells they had practiced. The most improved one was Neville, who managed to freeze Harry on several occasions when they duelled. After the class, the Triumvirate stuck around to help Harry pack things away while Cho waited for everyone to leave. While Mordred distracted Harry and Faith distracted Cho, Dawn Transfigured her camera into a snake and Disillusioned it so it was invisible before setting it to watch Cho and Harry before the Triumvirate left with big huge grins on their faces.

"I wonder how many pictures you'll be able to add to your porn collection," asked Faith with a smirk, "after those two are done in there?"

"Probably none," said Dawn with a grimace, "the book only says Harry says they kiss, and it's really sloppy too."

"Books don't tell everything Dawnie," said Faith, "I'm sure that a book called _Harry Potter Jams his Magic Wand in Cho Chang's Cauldron_ would not sell really well in the Children's book department store, however accurate it may or may not be. Besides, like we've seen already, there've been changes to the book already due to us being here. Harry deserves to get some tail, I'd do it myself if he wasn't so be smitten with Cho."

"Yuck," said Dawn before adding, "that would be a bad idea as Hermione would nail you with a Hex again for devirginizing her friend for the fun of it. Just don't try that with Ron or Hermione might try to kill you."

An hour or so later, Harry stumbled into the Gryffindor Common Room where Buffy, Hermione, and Ron were waiting for him.

"So," said Buffy mischievously, "how'd it go, with you and Cho?"

Harry made some vague noises that resembled human speech somewhat, getting Buffy to laugh at him. Hermione laughed as well while Ron looked on befuddled.

"Did you snog?" asked Hermione briskly.

Harry nodded his head; blushing so red he looked like a stoplight. Ron laughed out loud while Hermione rolled her eyes at him and Buffy patted Harry on his back in congratulation.

"How was it?" Buffy and Hermione both asked, while trying to ignore Ron's laughing.

"Wet." Replied Harry truthfully, causing Ron to laugh even harder. Harry became defensive. "Because she was crying."

"Oh well," Buffy said, remembering her time with Angel. "Well, I guess if you were her first then yeah, it does hurt the first time for us girls, but I'm sure that everyone's like that the first time they do that. You _did_ wear a condom, didn't you?"

"What for?" asked Harry curiously. Buffy looked at him seriously.

"In case she gets _pregnant_." Replied Buffy, causing the three of them to gape at her. "The last thing you need right now is a pregnant girlfriend, so I suggest the next time you two have snog, you wear a condom or make sure she's on the pill, or both."

"Kissing doesn't get girls pregnant." Said Hermione pityingly. Buffy looked at her questioningly.

"But they didn't just kiss," said Buffy, "they _snogged_. Isn't that British for sex?"

The thunderstruck looks on all three of the Golden Trio's faces answered Buffy's question for her, as she just realized that they were talking about something other that what she thought.

"Snog means kissing," said Hermione, "kissing passionately, yes, but just kissing. Not sex."

Ron looked over Buffy, and then asked a question he knew he shouldn't try asking, but it just fell out of his mouth.

"Does that mean," he asked unthinkingly, "that you've had _sex_ before?"

Now it was Buffy's turn to go all non-verbal and make strange noises while the others stared at her reddening face. After awhile she left them there and went up to her room, where she was blushing deep red. She tried to hide under her covers, but about ten minutes later Hermione came up and looked at her.

"It was very rude of us to ask that of you," Hermione said quietly so no one else could hear her, "we have no right to ask if you're a virgin or not." Buffy thought this over a bit before replying.

"I'm not," she said, "in case you were wondering. But thanks anyways."

Buffy then put her head on the pillow, and went to sleep. In her sleep, she found herself and Faith standing next to Harry, who was looking at a door at the end of a hall. Suddenly, Harry turned into a giant snake, and attacked a redheaded man who was sitting down. As he attacked the man both Buffy and Faith woke up, and Faith then went on to wake Dawn up before they both went to Mordred about this while Buffy went into the boys' dorm to check on Harry. She found him on his bed yelling about an attack, with a pool of vomit on the floor.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25: ****Hogwarts Holiday Special**

Harry and Ron were both rushed off to the Headmaster's office, which Buffy waited outside of until Mordred, Dawn and Faith arrived. Dawn tried to get inside, but the door was locked.

"We have to stop Sirius from sending his House Elf Kreacher out," she said hurriedly, "or else he'll tell the Death Eaters what's going on."

Buffy and Faith were all ready to kick down the door, but Mordred stopped them.

"PaniChaos!" he cried, causing the mutated bird to appear in a whoosh of flame. "Go to Sirius, tell him to keep Kreacher with him at all times. He can silence Kreacher any way he wants to, but Kreacher must be in plain sight at all times. Tell him Dumbledore says so. Go now!"

The bird squawked an affirmation and disappeared in a puff of fire. Mordred turned back to the others.

"It's the best we can do right now." Mordred said. "Now come on, we won't be able to follow the others but we can go Patrol for the rest of the night. I doubt any of you'll be able to sleep, I never can on the best of days."

With that, the four of them got their brooms and went out over the grounds above Hogwarts, flying in the air. Dawn saw Mordred's Snow Golem Army, and whistled.

"You planning on taking over the world or something?" She asked. Mordred shook his head.

"Just the North and South Poles will do for now." He said while watching with pride as his troops made more Snow Golems to reinforce his army. "Maybe Canada and Siberia as well, they'd be fun to take over as well."

They flew around the entire night, and only went back to the Castle when they saw the sun coming up. They were all still buzzing with nervous energy, so before and after classes on the Thursday they had all gotten together in the Room of Requirement and began practicing spells, as well as making presents.

"Ok people, what do we make and who do we make it for?" Asked Faith, as they decided on what to do for the others as well as themselves.

"I've already got a present for Professor Snape from us," said Mordred, "and maybe a little something for Neville, if anyone wants to put their name to it with mine." He said looking slyly at Dawn, who blushed slightly.

"At least I didn't spend an entire day trying to hide making a Raven-headed Hat for someone," pointed out Dawn, "which by the way, should be an Eagle-headed Hat since Ravenclaw's bird is an eagle."

"Then why call it Ravenclaw?" asked Buffy, "why not Eagle-claw?"

"Because that was the founder's name." Supplied Dawn while Mordred rummaged through his bag.

"I made Hats for everyone! Early presents for all four of us." he proclaimed, pulling out a hat that looked exactly like the one Luna was sporting for the Slytherin-Gryffindor match. "This is for you Buffy. Along with this." He pulled out a hood in the shape of a lion's head, with a mouth where the wearer's face would be.

"And these are for us three." Mordred said pulling out hats with Cobra heads on top of them, as well as hoods in the shape of cobra mouths. "I also made two hats for Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, as well as hoods for them."

The girls laughed as they put them on, Dawn and Faith making their hats hiss while Buffy made hers roar. Mordred put on the snake hood before they continued.

"How's it look?" asked Mordred, "pretty cunning, don't you think?" The others laughed at him.

"It makes you look like Serpentor from the G.I. Joe series," said Faith while she gasped for breath, "any minute now and you'll be yelling 'Cobra' at the top of your lungs."

"Hey, Buffy," asked Dawn suddenly, her eyes glowing in gleeful delight as an idea hit her, "you have any of those socks with Elves freeing themselves on them like us three made?"

"Yeah, but we already made a suit for Dobby and a dress for Winky," said Buffy, "who're we gonna give the socks too?"

"Dumbledore, of course!" Piped Dawn excitedly. "We just change the sizes for him, since he did say in book one he wanted socks, so we'll give them to him."

"We should leave a wreath tie and crown for the Sorting Hat," suggested Faith, "it must be lonely most of the time."

"I've already got a present for Spike from us," said Buffy, "and something for Ron, but I'll need some help in animating parts of it."

They got to work on making more presents, spending the entire afternoon and night in the room. When they were done, the three girls were exhausted while Mordred was still bouncing around like a mad thing.

"We still have to package these things and drop them off," said Dawn, "it's too bad we have to wait for the others to come back before we can give them their presents."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that." Mordred said mischievously, but refused to say anything else when the others questioned him as they left the room to go to sleep, as their exhaustion was catching up to them.

On Friday, the only eventful thing that happened was that Buffy saw Hermione off, as Hermione was going to go see Harry and Ron at the Black residence (although Hermione never actually told Buffy where she was going, Buffy already knew through Dawn.) Mordred dropped off some of the presents he made and wrapped at various places, one in Snape's office, one in the Ravenclaw Common Room for Luna, and one in the Headmaster's office for the Sorting Hat as well as some food for Fawkes (the Sorting Hat and the Professors in the Portraits were all surprised that Mordred was able to break into the office since no one should be able to do that.) Buffy herself went over to the Chamber of Secrets to drop off her present for Spike (a sun-proof cloak so he could move easier during the day) before going to Hagrid's hut to give Hagrid his present (a Komodo Dragon, which he liked although he'd of preferred a real Dragon). The Triumvirate and Buffy also dropped off various presents for other teachers, including a Firebolt for McGonagall, some Charmed Fairy statues that sang for Flitwick, some healing herbs called Athelas for Sprout, some cat food and a shielded hat for Filch and his cat, and some Phoenix tears for Madam Pomfrey for use on patients at her discretion. They also dropped off a package of Cursed rings for Umbridge claiming to be from the Ministry while the Triumvirate gave her some flowers from themselves. During Patrolling Mordred pointed one of his wands into the sky and shot a bolt of Magic into the air, which Conjured a large white Snow Smiley Face in the air above Hogwarts, but when asked he didn't tell what it was for. Umbridge went to the Ministry to celebrate her 'success' as the Inquisitor of Hogwarts while enjoying the Holidays.

The next day, when the students and the Professors gathered in the Great Hall, Mordred was nowhere to be found. Buffy, Dawn and Faith looked around, but they (along with the teachers) were distracted by the loud sounds coming from outside the Castle walls. They all went outside, and found to their shock and surprise an army of over one million Snow Golems, blowing on horns, banging on drums, and generally making a lot of noise. They surrounded the Castle in a giant ring that stretched for miles. The three girls then saw Mordred at the top of the Astronomy Tower, where he pulled the Snow Smiley Face he had made the night beforehand down to himself using one of his wands. He placed his other wand on his neck and did a _Sonorus_ Spell, and then began to shout at the hoard of Snow Golems before him.

"**SILENCE! Hear me now!**" The crowd of Snow Golems went silent. "**A **_**new**_** power is rising! Its victory is at **_**hand**_" he cried out to the Snow Golems, getting something in the way of a cheer from his Snow Golems as they all roared and blew on their horns. "**This night, the land will be stained with the lard of the great Evil one himself, Santa Claus!**" More roaring from crowd, plus complete confusion from the three girls. "**Tonight, let us send a message to the Fat Man Himself! **_**Tonight**_**, let us shake this world to its very core! Tonight, let us be heard from white ground to blue sky! **_**Tonight**_**, let us make them remember, we are Mages, AND WE ARE IN CHARGE NOW!!!!**" The Crowd of Snow Golems went wild again while Mordred spoke. "**March to the North Pole! Splatter it with the blood and lard of its Evil Leader! Leave no Elf unfreed!**" The crowd roared even louder. Mordred gathered himself up as they quieted down before screaming. "**TO **_**WAR**_" The army turned around and began marching North, and would have gone all the way if Dumbledore hadn't of cast an Impedimenta Spell on them all from behind Mordred. Dumbledore then grabbed Mordred by the scruff of his neck, and dragged him back into the Castle. The three girls looked on in complete shock, as they heard Dumbledore very loudly yelling at Mordred all the way to his office. They then looked at one another, and burst out laughing.

"Well, that was psychotic beyond belief," laughed Faith, while the other two girls nodded their heads in agreement when they all caught their breaths. "He just has to rip off every movie he's ever heard of and turn everything he does into something dramatic."

"He's an idiot." Stated Dawn, who looked worried. "What if he mentions any of us in this hair-brained scheme of his?"

"Oh, he's the deadest man in Deadonia if he mentions us in this." Said Buffy, cracking her knuckles but still smiling. Mordred came out with Dumbledore, who then talked with the four Heads of House while Mordred got to the three girls.

"Gotta say Mordy," Faith said to Mordred when he got to them, "your talent for alienatin' folks is near miraculous."

"Yes," admitted Mordred, "and I'm very proud of it too."

"What the _Hell_ were you thinking?" asked Dawn.

"I was thinking of taking over the North Pole and freeing all the Elves there," replied Mordred dryly, "didn't you hear my speech?"

An appalled look came over Dawn's face as Faith burst out laughing. Buffy saw Dumbledore approaching them, so she grabbed up the package of socks the four of them had made for Dumbledore.

"Merry Christmas," Buffy said, hoping a present would keep them from getting into trouble, "or whatever Witches and Wizards say here." Dumbledore smiled at her when she gave him their present, his eyes twinkling.

"And a Happy Christmas to you too, dear," he said, taking the gift from her and reading the card. "From all of you? How thoughtful, one would almost be surprised that two Houses such as Gryffindor and Slytherin could work together as well as this, even if they're family members. So often, students, as well as teachers," he said looking pointedly at Snape and McGonagall, "forget that although Houses are supposed to be _like_ family, that shouldn't mean that Houses can't interact to the point of breakig up families."

Dumbledore turned to the other Professors, who all were carrying the presents they had found, and motioned towards McGonagall.

"Minerva," asked Dumbledore while she was holding onto her new Firebolt, "would you be so kind as to bring these four troublemakers to visit our friends in hiding." Dawn grinned excitedly as she understood where they'd be going.

"I'm sure they appreciate the help these lot could provide," Dumbledore said grinning, "in cleaning up the House of Black for Christmas."


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26: For a Grim Old Place, It Can Still Be a Riot!**

At number twelve, Grimmauld Place, the Golden Trio along with most of the Weasley family and Sirius Black were all fixing things up for Christmas when suddenly, there was a sound of the front door opening up. With that, the portrait of Sirius's mother, Walburga Black (who had been silent all this time) began to scream at the top of her voice.

"MONSTERS! _MUTATIONS_ _IN THE HOUSE OF MY FAMILY!_ THE DISGRACE! THE CORRUPTION! OUT! OUT OF MY HOUSE! BLOOD-TRAITORS, MUD-BLOODS, AND NOW _MUTATIONS! _DEFILEMENT! DEFILEMENT!"

"Well, I've never been yelled at by a _painting_ before," Harry heard Buffy quip, "at least, I _think_ it was insulting us."

Harry then looked up from his work as the door opened and Professor McGonagall, who was holding Mordred by the scruff of his hooded neck, came into the room while Buffy, Faith and Dawn followed behind them with their Firebolts and bags.

"Hi guys," Buffy said, holding onto a bag of stuff, "we're here to help out."

Faith and Dawn were both grinning broadly while McGonagall dropped Mordred, cautioning him to not going bouncing around the place, as it was not as safe as Hogwarts. Harry noticed she had a new Firebolt in her other hand, and was holding it tightly as if not wanting to let it go.

The four students then went over and helped out, cleaning up various parts and setting up decorations along with the others. Mordred went out into the hall and began pestering the portrait of Walburga Black, who screamed at him. He stood in front of it for until Sirius came out and dragged him back into the room, where he went to Buffy and Faith. The three of them chatted a bit, and then they used some Magic on the fire, making it go black as midnight and freezing cold instead of hot.

"Why'd you go and do that?" asked Sirius, "it's freezing now!"

"Just give us a moment." Mordred said as he and the two girls went out into the hallway.

Walburga Black's Portrait began screaming again; only this time it was a wordless wail of acute pain that cut through the air like an ice pick. There was a loud wrenching sound, and the others stared in shock as Buffy and Faith carried the portrait of Mrs. Black screaming all the way to the fire while Mordred had one of his wands jammed into her.

"Any last words, _bitch_?" Mordred asked; his face contorted in a grimace from the effort.

He then pulled his wand out of her, and the Slayers launched her portrait into the freezing fire, where it burst into black flames that froze and shattered it into pieces that evaporated into dust. Mordred turned to Sirius and grinned.

"Any other items you want us to get rid of?" he asked as the Slayers rubbed their arms from the strain before looking on eagerly.

Sirius grinned and directed them to the Grandfather Clock, which Buffy broke into pieces while collecting bolts from it for future use in weapons. Faith ripped up a purple set of robes that tried to strangle her before feeding the pieces into the cold fire. The Slytherin Triumvirate then hunted down various pests, including the murderous ghoul that lived in the upstairs toilet. Mordred liberated a heavy golden locket that had Slytherin's mark on it for himself while he put some of the creatures they found into cages, which were either kept or killed by the Slayers and thrown into the cold fire for disposal.

"How do you manage to do these things?" Sirius asked them after they had taken down another painting that took to screaming out racist comments and tossed it into the cold fire. "We've tried everything we could to take down some of those paintings, but they were stuck on with a Permanent Sticking Charm," he then looked at them curiously, "you should have never been able to budge those paintings, let alone tear them off the walls."

"We'll explain things later, during one of the meetings with the Order of the Phoenix." Said Buffy as Mordred returned the fire back to normal. Sirius laughed.

"Sorry, but we're rather busy at the moment," he said evasively, "as there's going to be some very special people coming for us to help out against Voldemort."

"Yah, we know," said Faith casually, "_we're_ the people he sent."

"And why should we believe that?" asked Molly Weasley, who'd been listening in on them. The Golden Trio and Ginny tensed, as they knew what Faith and Buffy were talking about. Mrs. Weasley continued. "You're just kids, same age as my own. What do you know that we don't?" Dawn spoke up at this.

"We know that the Order is guarding something," she said vaguely, "a prophecy of some sort." This caused Dawn to have their complete attention on her, as she was talking about stuff that only the Order should know about. She continued.

"I'll bet it has something to deal with Voldemort," she said, causing gasps to be heard from mentioning his name, "and Harry as well. We also know what Dumbledore told you he'd be sending to you today."

"Oh yeah, and what's that?" asked Mrs. Weasley incredulously. Dawn looked her in the eye and spoke loudly enough so everyone could hear her.

"The Slayers," was all she said, as the others looked on in shock. Sirius then gave a start, before speaking up.

"Who are the Slayers?" he asked. Buffy and Faith raised their hands.

"_We're_ the Slayers." Said Buffy, getting everyone's attention. Sirius stared on in shock and comprehension.

"So that's how you did those things," he said in a mumble before Molly tried to hush them up.

"We need an emergency meeting," she said, "_now_. Kids, back to your rooms . . ."

The others complained, but Dawn merely spoke in a strict voice.

"Whatever you talk about in there," she said, "I'll just tell the others anyways, so they may as well stay here."

That got a very fiery look from Molly, but Dawn held her own against her, so after a moment, they all went into the kitchen where everyone could sit around the table and hear what the Slayers had to say for themselves.

"So, you're the Slayers." Sirius said.

"Yup, that's us." Replied Faith.

"We thought you were a myth," said Molly, "something Dumbledore was only using to inspire us."

"Well, you were myth-taken." Punned Buffy as she waited for the others to settle down. When they were ready Dawn, with her sister and Faith to either side of her and Mordred looking on from behind them, began.

"Have you ever heard of the legend of the Slayer?" She asked everyone in the room. Most of them gave confused stares, but Charlie piped up.

"I heard that it's a Demon who eats Muggles, or that's what it was." He said, sounding not so sure of himself. "Now it's a vegetarian and lives underground."

"Not exactly," Dawn said while the others fought back giggles at the thought of a Buffy or Faith-Demon living off of carrots and sitting in a hole somewhere like Bugs Bunny, "the Slayer is a girl that fights the forces of darkness. Mainly, they stop evil creatures and Apocalypses so that the rest of the world can live in peace. They are technically Holy warriors, fighting the forces of evil. We have something called the Watchers Council back where we come from, which is an organization that is dedicated to helping Slayers survive as long as possible."

"Okay, but if there's only_ one_ Chosen One, how could both of them be Slayers?" Bill interrupted, gesturing towards Faith and Buffy.

"I'm just getting to that." Dawn said. "Buffy here's the original Slayer, but she was prophesied to die at the hands of the Master, a very powerful Vampire. She did in fact die, but she was brought back to life when our friend Xander gave her CPR."

"What's that?" Asked one of the people there. Dawn then explained the concept of CPR, which had to be explained to the non-Muggleborns - and most of the half-bloods - in the room, who knew nothing of Muggle medical practices.

"This allowed one other Slayer to be activated," she said, "and when she was murdered Faith here became a Slayer as well." Faith smiled at the others as they looked on in wonder.

"The Slayer is a line of Potentials; something in certain young girls is a trigger that, when an old Slayer dies, be flipped and causes them to become the new Slayer." Buffy added. "We get increased speed, great strength and as I call them 'the irritating dreams of past Slayers and bad things to come.'"

"So, if we wanted an army of Slayers," said Fred cautiously, "we'd have to kill Faith, give her CRP, and then do the same with the others? No offence."

"Not really." Said Buffy, while Faith glared at Fred. "A year or so ago, there was an evil being called The First Evil that tried to wipe us all out."

"Wait a second," interrupted George, "weren't you all wiped out by the Ministry?"

"Not in this world," said Buffy, "you see, we came through a portal into this world from ours. For some reason, we now have Magic and are all younger here than we were back home, and as far as I know we're the only Slayers here, due to the Ministry ethnically cleansing the rest of them."

"How many Slayers are there where you come from?" Asked Bill, while the others looked on in confusion.

"Thousands." Said Buffy, getting their audience to look on in shock. "As I was saying before, when we were fighting the First Evil it came down to the fact that we were going to lose if we played by the rules. If we fought the First's army like heroes we were all going to die with zilch to show for it. So we decided to level the playing field. My idea was to get Willow, who's a red head like one of you Weasley's and also a Wiccan Witch, to activate all the Potentials who had been coming to us from around the world. She did this using a Scythe that I found made specifically for the Slayers."

"What's a 'Wiccan Witch'?" asked McGonagall, who had been quiet up until now as she had known beforehand about the Slayers. "I've never heard of the expression before." Dawn answered this.

"It's a Witch from our world, sort of an Earth-based Magic user." Dawn supplied. "Anyone in our world can become one, although it's easier for ones born into Magic to become them. It's a combination religious philosophy, Magic use thing. Our friend Willow is the strongest one we know of."

"So, that means all the Witches where you come from are good people?" asked Bill, "since they're all religious and all?" Dawn shook her head at this, and looked towards Buffy. She nodded at her, and Dawn continued.

"Not all of them are good, in fact, Magic in our world can become an addictive thing regardless of it being good or bad. The power sometimes ends up controlling the user instead of the other way around, and the Wiccan would - more often than not - end up destroying the people around them, and themselves as well. For example," Dawn took a breath and continued on nervously, "Willow was using a lot of Magic, and using it for everything from small things like opening windows to the big things such as fighting Vampires. We tried to get her to stop using so much Magic but she ended up hurting me before she could stop. But then things went straight to Hell when Willow's lover, Tara, was murdered right in front of her."

"What happened?" asked Hermione, who was unconsciously holding Ron's hand for support. "What killed Tara?"

"Someone named Warren shot her through a window with a gun." Said Dawn, getting odd looks from the others. "It happened when neither of them expected it, so there was no time to put up a barricade or a healing spell or anything. So this sent Willow off the deep end with rage and grief; she began absorbing as much Dark Magic into herself as she could to go track down Warren."

"Did she find him?" asked Sirius, who had a small glint in his eye as he was imagining it. Dawn nodded her head with a grimace. "What did she do to him?"

"She killed him by skinning him alive and burning his body." said Dawn before quickly adding; "I personally still don't blame her as he had by this point killed his own ex-girlfriend before Tara without any remorse. Willow then went after his two friends who had nothing to do with the murder, and when Giles tried to stop her, she adsorbed his power and attempted to end the world."

"Wow." Was all that was said by the others, as they absorbed the information they were told.

"How did she try to end the world?" asked Hermione disbelievingly, "sounds like an awfully complicated process, not to mention very powerful."

"She tried using an ancient alter to a evil Goddess as a power sink to try and use the Earth's very own power to burn itself up." Dawn said. "She would have destroyed the world had it not been for Xander."

"Sounds like Xander saves the day a lot." Said Sirius. "Is he a Wizard or something else your world has a name for?"

"He's a one-eyed carpenter, actually." Dawn said while getting confused looks from the others. "He talked her out of destroying the world by saying that she would have to kill him first all personal like and that there was no place he would rather be than at her side as the world ended and something about a yellow crayon that I still don't understand. But the point is, she stopped and went on to recover from her addiction. This was all before she activated the other Slayers in our world, so I don't know what affect this world will have on her Magic."

The others looked on in wonder, before Hermione spoke up.

"So your world's Magic causes people to go evil?" She asked, while getting the others to look on curiously.

"Only if you allow it to make you go evil," said Dawn, who shook her head before continuing. "Think of Magic from our world the same way you think of alcohol or drugs here, the more a person uses it the more addicted they can become if they don't try to control their use of it first."

"Are there any evil Slayers that you know of?" asked Ron, getting Buffy and Faith to look at one another, "since there's evil Witches there must be evil Slayers as well, right?" Faith spoke up at this.

"Well, I'm not evil anymore," Faith supplied hesitantly, "but I did go psycho for awhile."

"How and why did you do that?" asked Molly, who then moved her body closer to Ginny as if to protect her. "What did you do?"

"I accidentally killed a man," said Faith, "and rather than deal with it I shut myself off and went on a killing spree, teaming up with a soulless Mayor to try and take over the world." Faith then pointed at Buffy with her thumb.

"B there gutted me with a knife, making me go into a coma. When I woke up Angel, who was a friend of ours, then stopped me from killing others, and I turned myself in to the cops." She then paused before continuing. "When I was in jail I was attacked by one of the First's minions, and I broke out to go help Buffy and the gang."

"How did you all get here then?" Asked McGonagall shrewdly. The four of them looked at one another as Dawn spoke up.

"Some Demon opened up a portal in our world, and sent us through it." Dawn said matter-of-factly. "When we came through, we were at Hogwarts, dropped in Dumbledore's lap. He's been kind enough to allow us to stay until we find a way back home."

The others looked on, and Sirius then pointed out Mordred.

"What's _your_ story?" He asked.

"Be damned if I knew," replied Mordred perplexedly. "When I came to I had a nasty case of amnesia. All I know is that I'm from the 'Todash Void', although I don't know where that is, and that my name is Mordred Flaggson."

They then all went to back to work before calling it a night, with Dawn, Buffy and Faith sleeping in the same room as Hermione and Ginny while Harry and Ron got stuck with Mordred, who levitated himself into a floating lotus position over the floor for an hour when they tried to sleep. After that, he pestered them both until they shooed him out of the room, and then went back to sleep. When Harry and Ron both woke up they noticed Ron had some mistletoe floating over his head, and regardless of how much Ron tried to knock it down, nothing worked.

"The least you can do is help," whined Ron as Harry laughed at him. "How am I going to go downstairs without being mauled by the girls?"

"Don't worry," said Mordred laughingly from the doorway, "with a face like yours, you'd _need_ some mistletoe just to get a peck on the cheek, let alone a snog."

"Hey!" cried Ron indignantly, "I don't have to put up with this! I get enough from my brothers as it is."

"Speaking of which, are you sure you're even related?" asked Mordred, "cause I coulda sworn they adopted you from a litter of actual weasels that they found on the road out of sheer pity."

They all continued insulting one another on the way downstairs, where they found that Hermione was in a similar predicament as Ron, as she too had mistletoe floating above her head while the three American girls giggled behind her back. Mordred pulled out his mistletoe hat, and began hitting on Ginny, Hermione, and even Molly, before the others arrived. They all sat down to wait before opening up their presents, while Faith talked to the twins.

"Ok, which one of you two is the evil twin?" Faith asked. The Weasley Twins both raised their hands.

"I am!" They jointly said in proud vocies. Faith then mock-glared at them.

"I _Slay_ evil twins." She said, smiling evilly. The Weasley Twins then pointed at each other.

"He is!" they said, causing the others to laugh. Mordred grinned at Hermione and Ron, who were both trying to ignore the mistletoes above their heads.

"Come one you two lovebirds, smooch already." He mumbled loud enough for the others to hear. The Weasley twins then began chanting "Snog, snog, snog," which was taken up by Ginny, Buffy, Harry, Faith, and Dawn, while Mordred clapped his hands to the beat. Hermione then began Conjuring some birds into the air, and with a shouted command of "_Oppugno_", she sent them after Mordred.

"Alfred Hitchcock was right!" Yelled Mordred as he dodged out from under the swarm of birds attacking him. "The birds are after us! Run for your lives!" He ran out of the room while Hermione blasted her and Ron's mistletoes with a Reductor Curse before glaring at the others who'd been chanting. The adults came in, along with Bill Weasley, and everyone got to opening up their presents.

Molly had gotten everyone (even the Slytherin Triumvirate, although they were just made the night before-hand) hand-made jumpers with their initials on them, while Hermione had gotten her fellow Hogwarts students' homework planners that talked. Sirius and Lupin had given them all books on Practical Defensive Magic, while Hagrid had gotten them all wallets that bit them anytime they tried to hold them. The Triumvirate and Buffy had gotten a nice dress for Molly, a golden Egyptian Mask for Bill, a small model of Tiamet the Dragon Goddess for Charlie (even though he wasn't there), various modified joke items for the twins, and a polishing kit for Ginny for her Firebolt, as well as a Chessboard Cake for Ron with a Golden Crown with a W on it. Hermione was given several books on fictional Witches (Oz series by L. Frank Baum, _Wicked_ and _Son of a Witch_ by Gregory Maguire, as well as some others) by the Triumvirate and Buffy, while Harry was given a crown made out of Golden Snitches, which tried to fly away with his head when he put it on. Dawn, Buffy, Faith, and Mordred had all gotten broom polishing kits from Harry and Ron. When Sirius opened up his presents he laughed at Mordred's, as Mordred had gotten him a large golden firehydrant (the girls had all gotten him a White Chocolate cake in the form of a dog bone). They were all ready to get up and take their presents to their rooms when all of a sudden loud pop was heard and a package the size of a small cake fell down the chimney and bounced off the fireplace before landing right in front of Mordred.

"Well, wonder what that could be?" Mordred said before he saw his own name on it. 'To Flagg's Son' it read, and when he opened it up he read it aloud.

**To Whom It May Concern,**

**Howdy there, Pardner. In case you don't know who this is, then this is the note for you. Pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name. Well, may as well break this to you quickly: be wary of the book I am giving you. It's one of my personal favourites, as it was bound from Demon flesh and inked in Demon blood many millennia ago by Nyarlathotep himself on one of the stars he was visiting. The name of the book is Defigo Avius Grimoire, which translates into Book of Unfound Spells, and believe me you'll be grateful you have it with you. This is all assuming you've actually survived the process of making your wands, (which I'll admit to freely I doubted the moment I began grabbing up ingredients for them). So, since you've survived that, let me warn you that this book is dangerous. It contains all the best Dark Magic Spells you could ever want, from making potions that turn into plagues that wipe out every type of person you could want, to cutting up your soul for storage in containers (although I doubt you'll need it, since I made you with a shadow for a soul) to even figuring out the exact word a dear friend of mine once used to wipe out her entire planet with (now **_**that's**_** a gal who knows how to party.) Just be sure to remember the code (in case you don't know it I wrote it underneath) and know that while o****thers have conquered and ruled; we alone shall conquer for conquest's sake and Dominate for no other purpose than Domination itself. We and we alone have spoken aloud the Great Secret; that the root function of all things is the production and reproduction of power—and that power is the ability to compel others to do your will against theirs. It is the end, not mearly the means to the end. ****The purpose of Power **_**is**_** Power.**

**I bequest this to you, my only heir, in the hopes that you and I may be reunited in the very near future. Until then, feel free to cover the worlds you travel in with your own Shadow. And always remember: You are Magic. You are Change. You are the Catalyst of all Destruction! Keep to our code, and you will become Invincible!**

"_**Order is an Illusion, there is only Chaos.**_

_**Through Chaos, there is Strength.**_

_**Through Strength, there is Power.**_

_**Through Power, there is Victory.**_

_**Through Victory, the Boundaries of Reality are Broken.**_

_**And I am Free to Dominate the Multiverse **_

_**And Remake it in My own Image."**_

**Have a Great Day.**

**-R.F.**

"RF, I wonder what that stands for?" mused Mordred as he tore open the package to reveal a huge book. Mordred picked it up in both arms, and placed it into his bag despite protests from the others. Mundungus, Lupin, Tonks, and Moody all showed up to escort them all to the hospital to visit Arthur. The Scooby's all got out their get-well cards to give to them, but were told to come too, as "the more the merrier, especially on Christmas" said Molly. Mordred sauntered up to Tonks, who was looking amusedly at his mistletoe hat.

"Hello Nymphomaniac." Mordred said to Tonks, getting a really nasty glare from her.

"Nymphomaniac am I?" shouted Tonks at Mordred. Mordred grinned and pointed to Tonks while looking behind himself.

"Hey, she admits it." He said while pointing at her before leering. "Can I have a try?" She lunged at him while he danced out of the way.

"Isn't that your name?" He asked cheekily.

"It's _Nymphadora_," she said, "and I hate that name too, so just call me Tonks."

"What's a Nymphomaniac?" asks Ron.

"Think your sister Ginny, according to some of the boys in Hogwarts," replied Mordred before Buffy could intervene, "or Hermione with Vicky Krum."

"Don't pay any attention to him," Buffy said, "he's just out to cause trouble, like always."

They all went over to St. Mungos hospital, where they saw Arthur in his bed. When the others gave him some presents and the get-well card, Mordred called for his bird, PaniChaos. He had Arthur drink some of PaniChaos' tears, as well as apply some of them to his wounds, but before applying them to his wounds he took out a syringe and took a sample of the venom from Arthur.

"I heard tell that there are Slayers working for us," he said, after Mordred put the venom-filled syringe away. His face got all bright and cheerful. "It's just - I find the whole idea of extinct Magical beings quite extraordinary!" He said before looking at Harry directly.

"Tell me," he asked Harry enthusiastically, "is it true they're is almost as tall as Giants and have wooden stakes for fingers?"

"Huh?" Dawn said, completely dumbfounded.

Harry shook his head, slightly amused despite all that was going on at the moment. Buffy and Faith were about to interject themselves, but were shushed by Molly.

"We're not supposed to talk about it here!" she whispered venomously. "Wait until you get back to the Headquarters to learn about them." Everyone laughed as Buffy and Faith held their tongues, wry smiles on their faces.

"I've met the Slayers, Mr. Weasley," Harry said to him, "and they've both got two regular hands, same as you and me. And they're kind of short, actually."

"Astounding!" Mr. Weasley said, shaking his head in complete wonderment as the Golden Trio, Ginny, and the Scooby's went to the fourth floor, where they found Lockhart trying to sign autographs for them, and Neville with his grandmother visiting his parents.

"What do you mean?" Neville's grandmother, Agusta Longbottom, said to him as he the others looked at his parents. "You're parents didn't give up their health and sanity just so that you could be ashamed of them, you know!"

Neville made some protesting noises while Dawn went through her bag, grabbing up something.

"Here you go," she said, giving Neville a plant. "It's called a Kleffa Carrot, and it's from the lot of us. It acts as a lock, and it squeals anytime someone tries to break through it, like an alarm run by a Mandrake, so any would-be theives get knocked out by it. You need to water it once a week though."

"Thanks." Neville said, smiling at her while blushing.

He and his grandmother went off after he pocketed some wrapper from his mom, Alice Longbottom. Before he left Dawn grabbed out a picture of Fawkes the Phoenix she took from her bag and gave it to Neville to give to his parents. When they left, the others looked at Harry.

"Dumbledore told me about this," he said glumly, "but I promised I'd never tell anyone. Bellatrix Lestrange and some Death Eaters did this to him using the Cruciatus Curse, that's what she's in Azkaban for." The others thought about what he said, until Mordred broke the silence.

"Discordia's Wastes," swore Mordred, "I didn't think it was physically possible, but that both sucks _and_ blows."

The others agreed, and then they went back to Arthur, where they said their goodbyes and left while he rested up. Mordred only stopped to grab up the plant, which was Devil's Snare, from Bode's table, and went back to Lockhart's bedside, where Mordred gave him the plant before picking his pocket. Lockhart managed to sign a whole bunch of cards for him and the plant, before Mordred left. When he got outside Dawn questioned him.

"Where's the Devil's Snare?" she asked him.

"I got rid of it," Mordred replied evasively as he pocketed something that looked like a key. "It won't hurt anyone useful." When Dawn looked at him curiously he went to the others, cutting off further questions from her.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27: Insightful Ideas for Inquiring Intellects**

The morning after Christmas, the Golden Trio and Ginny, talked amongst themselves in one of the rooms they were cleaning about what they had learned from the Scooby's.

"How do they know so much about the prophecy they claim the Order is guarding?" Asked Hermione to the others. "I mean, they've barely spoken with the Order and they seem to know almost everything that is going on, while we're in the dark."

"We should each try asking them what they know," suggested Harry, "so we can catch them off unawares so that we can get a straight answer from them. I'll go talk with Mordred, Ginny should go talk with Dawn, Hermione should talk with Buffy, and Ron should go see Faith. We'll meet back at the end of the day."

With that, the four of them split up and went in search of the four Scooby's. Harry found Mordred with Sirius in Buckbeak's room, talking animatedly about something.

"Hey Harry," said Mordred, tugging on Sirius's arm, "maybe you can help me talk some sense into your uncle here."

"Godfather, actually." Corrected Harry, while Sirius groomed Buckbeak.

"Whatever, he _is_ family to yah," replied Mordred, while pocketing something, "the point is, Sirius, Pettigrew and your father James all learned on how to become Animagi when they were our age or younger, right? So I was thinking to myself, why don't we have Sirius teach us on how to become Animagi? He and Lupin can both help all us kids out, and we can pay them both, Lupin mainly since he needs the cash more than we do. What do you think?"

The question caught Harry so completely off guard that Harry forgot about his original question for Mordred and looked at Sirius questioningly. Before he could say anything, Sirius answered for him.

"Because when we became Animagi," Sirius explained, "we did so with Dumbledore's approval and the rest of the school didn't know about it. We didn't have the Ministry of our time watching us like hawks, or else I'd be more than happy to show you how. However, I would suggest if you two really want to learn how to do it, to pay attention and work hard in Transfiguration class. Professor McGonagall may be strict, but she knows more about what she's teaching than anyone else with the exception of Dumbledore. And no," he turned to Mordred, "there's no potion available to make the change instantly, so forget trying to find one."

Mordred then left while Harry helped out Sirius with taking care of Buckbeak, who in spite of getting all the dead ferrets he could want was feeling lonely during the festive season.

Meanwhile, Hermione had found Buffy in the basement by Kreacher's room, trying to talk with Kreacher, even though he kept on calling her a filthy Mud-Blood.

"Hey Hermione," Buffy said, "Listen, I think I have a good idea on how to free more House Elves."

"How so?" Inquired Hermione, who was trying to find a way to work asking her question to Buffy into the conversation. "It seems you know a lot of what is going on at times, even when no one else knows what's going on."

"No I don't," Buffy replied, "as a matter of fact, Mordred gave me this idea, although his idea was grosser and sounded more like an open revolt. What I think we should do is find the cost of House Elves, and buy a few for ourselves, and the gradually free them so that they can actually enjoy the freedom they have. The more free Elves there are, then the more will come."

"That's a good idea," said Hermione cautiously, "but where will we get the money?"

"We have some here," replied Buffy, "and when we open up a portal back to our world we'll be able to get money from the Watcher's Council, as well as some of the richer Slayers. Who knows, maybe we can even get the Elves to free themselves by just marrying free Elves together, and letting the ones that want to remain enslaved gradually die off?"

"That's rather cruel," said Hermione, her initial questions forgotten, "all House Elves should be given the right at freedom eventually."

While the two ladies discussed House Elf rights and freeing them, Ginny found Dawn in the Drawing Room, reading the Fourth Harry Potter book. When Ginny came in Dawn put the book away really fast and pulled out her polishing kit, which she used to start polishing her broom.

"Hey," Ginny said, "I need to ask you something." Dawn looked at her nervously before smiling.

"Sure," Dawn said, "ask away."

"How do you know so much about what's going on with Harry?" Ginny asked. "I've known him for three years now, and you seem to know everything he's about to do, what's about to happen to him, and it's getting more and more peculiar that you should know more about what's going on than we do, since you claim to be from a different world entirely."

Dawn paused, looking at Ginny as if about to tell her something of immense importance. _Aww crap,_ thought Dawn, _better say something to her._ Dawn looked around the room carefully before peering at Ginny shrewdly.

"Who else is asking this same question to the others?" Dawn asked, keeping a casual tone in spite of her nervous face. "May as well see what the others have spilled before I say anything, since what I do have to say to everyone is very important. Other than that I'll just keep my mouth shut, as we have some ideas to float by before saying anything." With that, Dawn went over and went looking for the others, while Ginny sat thinking about what Dawn had said to her.

When Ginny got back with the other three Gryffindor students in the kitchen, she found out that in spite of the lack of information she had, she had the most information out of all of them, as Faith had spent the entire time deflecting Ron's questions.

"She kept asking me stuff about Hermione," Ron said, "or if I'd like to do a 'rough and tumble' with her later on, although when I asked her what that meant she just patted me on the head."

"What did she ask you about me for?" asked Hermione, but before Ron could answer she changed her mind. "Never mind, with a imagination like Faith's one can only guess what she was talking about. Seems several _people_" she glared at Harry when saying this, "have the weird notion that a boy and a girl can't be just friends without dating."

"Ok, here's what we do then," said Harry as he ignored Hermione's glare, "we get them all together, and ask them jointly. They can't evade us if they've nowhere to go to."

"I don't think that'll work, boy." Said a voice from behind them. They turned to look as Mad-Eye Moody came hobbling into view from the shadows.

"Why's that?" asked Harry, as the others looked on questioningly, "we might be able to get a straight answer out of them for once."

"Or you might find yourselves on the wrong end of an attack," Moody grunted before sitting down. "I know for a fact that although Dawn's just as susceptible to most of our spells as any of us, Mordred and the two Slayers are immune to most forms of Magic."

"How do you know that, sir?" asked Hermione curiously.

"Few weeks before school started, I had the four of them experience the Imperius Curse so they could feel what it was like." Moody growled at them. "It was totally ineffective; while it partially worked on Dawn, the other three all managed to throw it off completely without even trying. Mordred even attacked me the second I put it on him without his Shield Charm up. It's like they have some kind of natural immunity against some types of our Magic." He stopped talking and looked at them, his mechanical eye twirling around.

"I'd bet a sack of Galleons it takes more than one Stunner to knock one Slayer out, and a number of other Jinxes and Hexes wouldn't work on the first try either, but every time I try them they always manage to dodge them." He said thoughtfully. "Can't remember one getting hit when they didn't want to get hit, come to think of it."

"You'd be right about taking more than one Stunner to knock out a Slayer," Ron said before asking, "what did Dawn do when you used the Imperius Curse on her?" Moody's mechanical eye twirled towards him.

"Almost nothing," replied Moody, "she slunk down into a corner and began repeating the words 'it's a book, it's a book'. When I tried to ask her what she was talking about, or to do anything I told her to do, the others got in my face to defend her against me, breaking the connection. From what Dumbledore's told me, they keep some sort of wire around their hoods so that anyone with Legilimency won't be able to use it on them at all."

"What's Legilimency?" asked Harry, but Hermione answered for him.

"It's basically mind reading, done by the Wizard or Witch against another," she explained, "although it's more of an emotional reading rather than actual mind reading."

Buffy, Faith, and Mordred came in with Sirius, talking animatedly about House rivalries. Moody got up to look around, as sitting still made him nervous regardless of where he was.

"What I still don't get," Sirius was saying to them, "is how any of you four could be a part of Slytherin and be friends with Gryffindor students? I positively _hated_ Slytherins because my family was all Slytherin."

"Yeah, but your family was also made out of racists," countered Faith, "who thought inbreeding and ethnic cleansing were the two best things since sliced bread."

They all sat down and Sirius used his wand to Summon some Butterbeers for all of them. Mordred then launched into his suggestion about freeing the House Elves.

"Here's my idea, even though Buffy thinks it's gross, Faith and Dawn kinda agree with me," he said, before gulping his Butterbeer down in one gulp. "We buy a whole lot of Elves, and then send them into other Castles and places where there's a lot of House Elves working. They blend into the crowd, using small wands we make for them to modify the other Elves' memories, so that they don't get caught." The others listened in while Buffy and Faith both rolled their eyes.

"Then, we make them into _the_ guerrilla terrorists of the Upper Class industry," Mordred said proudly. "For serving and preparing food, we order them to sneeze into the roasts, fart all over the puddings, add bogeys to the salads, and as for the soups, well . . ." Mordred grinned evilly as the others looked on in disgust and horror.

"Since no one will know who's doing the damage," Mordred said proudly, "_all_ the House Elves will have to be eventually freed, as no Mages will trust them anymore. They'll have no choice _but_ to free them."

"You – are – mad." Stated Sirius, looking at him in disgust. The others glared at him.

"_Really_, Mordred," Hermione said reproachfully, "Why can't you be less vile and more serious for a change? It's a wonder you get any school work done at all."

"You want _me_ to be serious?" asked Mordred as Hermione and the others nodded, before he pulled out a small vial and a piece of black hair that he put in his mouth, "ok, I'll be Sirius then."

Mordred then drank from the vial and began to change forms. After about half a minute, the others were looking on at a hooded Sirius Black while the real Sirius laughed out loud. Sirius/Mordred looked around after the change at the others.

"There you go," he said, "_now_ I'm Sirius." The others gaped before laughing, even Hermione managed to grin at him before Sirius/Mordred drank from a different vial. Mordred changed back into his real form, and then showed off his potions.

"Polyjuice potion, mixed with Everlasting Elixir and other ingredients to make it permanent," he said, showing them one potion. "Just put the bit of the person you're changing into in your mouth instead of the potion, and then drink it down. This way, you can change multiple times into different people and not have to worry about having to drink a bit of it every hour or so." He then put the vials back into his pockets.

"However," Mordred then cautioned them, "I'd suggest you make yourself an antidote so you don't stay in the one form the entire time."

The others were about to comment on that when Dawn came bouncing into the room, smiling excitedly.

"I think I figured out a way to get at the Death Eaters vaults!" She said as Buffy raised her eyebrows.

"Oh really, and what would that be?" Buffy asked in a stern manner.

"Well I was sort of thinking that if we had someone that could steal a Death Eater's key and some hair we could easily get into their vaults. We would need some of the Polyjuice potion Mordred modified for concealment and we could slip someone into Gringotts with a Death Eater's key. We can even set it up to look like the Death Eaters were the ones who robbed that person, making them distrust each other and the bank." Dawn paused to let it sink in. "How does that sound?"

The others frowned as Buffy thought about it before replying.

"So you want to try to capture a Death Eater," Buffy said, "take their form, steal their key, empty out their vault and make it look like it was a Death Eater who did it so they distrust one another?" Dawn nodded.

"Basically, I was thinking that they have all of this gold, but are such nasty people and use the gold for bad things like slavery and genocide." She said curiously. "What if they didn't have the gold?" When the others looked at Mordred, he shrugged.

"I practice morals that would make most sewer rats feel dirty, so don't look at me." He said holding up his hands defensively, before rubbing them together in an Evil Genius imitation. "I'm all for ripping people off and getting something out of the deal, even if that's the only reason why we are doing it. The fact that they're bad people only makes the deal sweeter."

Dawn bounced up and down on the balls of her feet a few times after hearing this.

"So can I start working on the exact methods to pull this off?" She asked excitedly. Buffy looked at the sheet full of plans before replying.

"And what are you going to do with the Death Eater you plan on robbing?" asked Sirius, "we can't just randomly kill people, and Azkaban won't just take in anybody just because we want them to."

"I know," said Dawn, "but what Mordred did gave me an idea: we use Polyjuice potion that Mordred modified on the Death Eater and turn him into _you_. That gets rid of the Death Eater in question, causes the Wizarding world to think you've been captured, thus allowing you to move about more freely, and it gets us a nice cash prize of 10,000 Galleons. What do you think, Sirius?"

"How are you going to get the Wizard's vault number from them?" asked Moody, "it's not just something you can ask for."

"We will use Veritaserum on the victim," said Dawn, "and then we'll use a Pensieve for future reference."

"What are you thinking about doing with the gold," asked Sirius, "or should I even bother asking that?"

"Various things we have in mind," said Dawn, looking at the Slayers and Mordred, "but the main thing is to take the gold away from the Death Eaters."

"Please," Sirius protested, "feel free to plan, but not in front of me!"

"Ha!" Mordred snorted. "This coming from the only man who could break out single-handedly from Azkaban, causing them to triple their security?"

They all agreed that that was a good goal to strive towards, and they talked about which Death Eaters they should try this tactic on first and when they should do it. The Golden Trio and Ginny were all for using it on Lucius Malfoy, but Buffy said that it would be harder to use it on a Death Eater like that. They then mentioned that this sort of thing should be done in the summer, as the students already had a lot on their plates regarding school and Umbridge while the Order still had to guard the prophecy (even though Sirius and the others refused to admit that that was what they were guarding).

For several days the students spent the time playing various games and discussing what to do when they got back to school, regarding the DA. On the last day there, Snape came by to inform Harry that he was going to be teaching Occlumency lessons once a week to Harry, since Harry seemed to share a connection with Voldemort. Snape and Sirius almost got into a fight, but were stopped by the arrival of Arthur Weasley (who had gotten better) and his family. Before Harry left Sirius gave him a small package to keep them both in contact with one another, and then the students were all off to Hogwarts via the Knight Bus.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28: Disastrous Debate**

On the first day back in Hogwarts, Snape was actually in a very good mood with the class. He showed the class the Dragon's Sand that Mordred had gotten him for Christmas, and awarded his own House one hundred points for "the Cunning, Ambition and Resourcefulness it took to find this rare gem of a poison." This, coupled with his abuse of both Harry and Neville, caused the Gryffindors in the class to all complain about it after the class while the Slytherins all whooped with glee. Harry was depressed as the others learned he had 'remedial Potions' (which was a cover for his Occlumency class with Snape) until he and Cho got together after his Potions class and decided to go on a date for Valentine's Day. Buffy saw this and clapped him on the back, congratulating him on being able ask her out without stuttering like an idiot. At the end of the day, Buffy saw him off to his Occlumency class while she went to go Patrol with Mordred and Faith, even though all they did was watch over Mordred's Snow Golems (Dumbledore had allowed them to be used for Slaying, but not for invading the North Pole despite Mordred's pleas.) When they got back to the Castle, Mordred gave Buffy a Pensieve he had stolen for her to help Harry with in clearing his mind.

"I don't know if this'd be a good idea or not," Buffy said as she set the Pensieve down in front of them, "but it's worth a try. Who knows, maybe seeing your memory will help you in dealing with it."

"Ok," Harry said, "but only if you put in a memory of yours as well."

"Fine then," countered Buffy, surprising the Trio as they had thought she'd balk at this, "we'll all put in one memory each, so while you put in your memory, Hermione, Ron and I will be thinking of what to put into it as well."

Buffy then told Harry to think of what he'd been dreaming, and she used her wand to pull it out of his head and drop it down into the Pensieve. The others looked in on it, and saw different images come to the surface. They saw the graveyard in which Cedric had died in, they saw Voldemort pointing his wand and attacking them with a green light. They then saw Harry's parents, who wavered as if illusions, they saw Mrs. Weasley crying over Kreacher's corpse while Hermione and Ron, who were both wearing crowns, looked on (this caused gasps to escape from both Ron and Hermione, as they realized Harry had foreseen not only their becoming Prefects, but also the taunts Malfoy and his gang would use against them). They then all saw the long dark corridor with a black door at the end of it, which they recognized as the Department of Mysteries. When they tried to get closer to the door, they were thrown out of the Pensieve.

"Ok," said Buffy, as Harry pulled his memory out of the Pensieve with his wand, "who's next?"

After a bit of balking, Buffy, Hermione and Ron played Paper-Rock-Scissors to determine who'd go next. Ron lost, mainly because he was confused by the concept of the Muggle game (he knew it as something else in Wizarding terms). He put in a memory of himself when he had when he saw his brother Charlie last year with the four Dragons. The others saw how Charlie had told him not to tell anyone about the Dragons while winking, before saying that if Harry had heard about it 'from a friend of a friend of a friend', and then Ron or Charlie can't be blamed for Harry knowing.

"I still say that's mental." Commented Harry.

Next up was Hermione, who put in her memory. The others looked on as they saw an eight-year-old Hermione concentrating really hard on her Muggle schoolwork while one of the other girls of her Muggle School made fun of her. Suddenly, the girl's dress went up into the air and stuck to the ceiling, leaving her in only her undergarments. Screaming, she ran from the room as Hermione looked on in shock. The other three laughed and congratulated Hermione, who only blushed at the memory.

"It's not like I actively _wanted_ that to happen," she said, "it just did."

"Don't feel too bad about it," said Harry reassuringly, "we all know what I did by accident just about every summer since before coming to Hogwarts." He then turned to Buffy. "Now it's your turn."

Buffy concentrated, and then pulled out a memory from her wand and placed it into the Pensieve. Immediately they saw images of Vampires attacking her old school, while she rushed the other students out, she led the Vampires deep inside the gymnasium before jumping off the roof and locking it up from the outside. She then lit a fire to a trail of gasoline and watched the school gymnasium burst into flames. The others looked on at this memory in shock, making Buffy blush.

"Hey," she said sheepishly, "that was one of the _tamer_ memories I had. At least I didn't show you the ones where I died."

They then all went to bed, tired but happy to have learned so much. Buffy went up with Ron and Harry so that she could help Harry meditate before going to sleep, he protested but she was adamant in him meditating before sleeping.

The next day in the paper, the four of them found out from the _Daily Prophet_ that there had been a mass breakout of ten convicted Death Eaters from Azkaban. The paper quoted Fudge, who claimed that it was Sirius Black who had most likely broken them all out, and the reward for him went from 10,000 Galleons to 100,000 Galleons, while the escapees were only being worth 1,000 Galleons each. The Slytherins were bustling about as the Triumvirate showed the paper to anyone that would read it, and they even threw some papers into the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables, getting their attentions when the papers smacked the Prefects of each table in the head. The students went from talking about their daily activities to buzzing about what the paper said. At the staff table, Dumbledore and McGonagall were deep in conversation while Umbridge shot malevolent glares at them every now and then while eating her porridge. The other Professors were reading the paper as well, Professor Sprout was so enamoured by it that she didn't even notice the food that she was dripping onto her own lap. In other new it was found out that 'Gilderoy Lockhart had been found dead in his bed, due to a potted plant of Devil's Snare strangling him to death . . .'

"You said you got rid of it!" Dawn snapped with a glare at Mordred.

"No, I said I put it where 'it won't hurt anyone useful'," Mordred countered, "so you see, it not only didn't hurt anyone useful, it got rid of someone who was completely useless."

Dawn scowled at him, but didn't say anything else, as she partially agreed with Mordred, as did Faith. After their Charms class, the students all found notices on the main board as well as their House boards.

_By Order of the High Inquisitor of Hogwarts_

_The High Inquisitor will henceforth be conducting  
weekend debating teams for which the students are required to  
participate in to learn a more practical approach to avoiding conflict  
created by sporting related brawls as well as lies told about the Ministry  
in accordance with Educational Decree #25_

"Another Decree!" cried Ron as Buffy and the others looked on in disgust. "What does she mean, 'students are required to participate in debating teams' during the weekends? We've got Quidditch practice to do!"

"Yeah, but you do have to admit that there were quite a few fights breaking out before the school year ended," pointed out Buffy, "and mainly they were because of Quidditch."

"Well, if Umbridge had kept the Quidditch schedule the way it was before," said Ron, "with each team getting a break between games instead of having back-to-back games, then that wouldn't of happened."

"I'd personally take back-to-back games, three in a row if need be," said Harry, "if only I could play again. But that's not going to happen as Umbridge gave me a life-time ban."

"It's only until Umbridge is gone," supplied Buffy, "not for the rest of your life."

The rest of the week everyone was talking about the Azkaban breakout, in spite of the upcoming debate. During one of the DA classes, Mordred helped modify the Marauders Map so that it actually said what each person on it was doing instead of just where they were. On the Friday, Mordred, Faith and Dawn secretly bought Buffy some presents for her birthday on Sunday, in spite of the fact that this was a different timeline than the one they were originally from.

Finally, the day of the 'great debate' arrived, with the Great Hall being reorganized into that of a debating hall. The Professors table was organized so that it had nine Professors as the judges, with the Hogwarts Inquisitor in the middle with an Auror on the side to decide in case of draws. On the right side of Umbridge and the Auror Kingsley Shacklebolt, there was Professors Snape, Flitwick, Hagrid, and Headmaster Dumbledore, on the left side was Professors Sprout, McGonagall, and Madam Hooch. Six students that were chosen via lottery would sit at one of the four tables on either side of the Professor's tables facing one another, with a podium for the speakers from each table. Each group would represent their Houses, while the rest of the school watched in chairs near the entrance to the Great Hall. On the Saturday morning at nine am, the Golden Trio, Buffy, Ginny and Dean were chosen for the Gryffindor side, Hufflepuff had Justin Finch-Fletchly, Macmillan, Summerby, Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Megan Jones chosen for them. Ravenclaw, who clearly believed that they would own the debate due to their superior wits, had Terry Boot, Michael Corner, Goldstein, Cho Chang, Padma Patil and Luna Lovegood (getting a few snickers from the other Houses) chosen for them. Lastly, Slytherin's chosen included the Triumvirate, Draco, Nott, and Greengrass to debate with the other two teams.

It was decided that there would be a list of topics to debate about, and the winners of each debate would choose any one of the other topics, or one of their own if they so choose. The debate itself would last the entire day from ten in the morning to ten at night, with a break about halfway through where the students and Professors could stretch their legs and eat for one hour. Snacks were allowed during the debate, but only for the people not debating at the time. Umbridge would choose the first topic, and the teams would have five minutes deciding what side (as there could be two or more) they would chose to be on and who would speak.

Then the four speakers for each team would argue their views of the topic in the designated Speaker's corner in the middle, before the judges decide on which speaker is the least persuasive. The least persuasive Speaker would be eliminated until the next topic, and another member would be chosen from his or her own House until the topic has been thoroughly exhausted. Any Speakers may retire from a topic, but the ones who had been eliminated beforehand had to stay down until the next topic. If there are only two sides to a topic, the team-ups could range from three vs. one to two vs. two. In multiple sides it could be a free-for-all, with all four Houses having a different opinion of the topic being debated. This type of debate was what the judges were planning on for, so as to allow for the Houses to air out their aggressions instead of physically fighting one another.

As the Houses all settled themselves in their appointed seats, Umbridge gave out her fake cough to get everyone's attention before announcing the first topic of debate.

"The first topic," she said in a small girlish voice, "is Mage Superiority."

This set the four teams to grumbling amongst themselves, as the only House known for being in favour of Mage Superiority was the Slytherins. The Golden Trio huddled with their teammates and devised a strategy together.

"Ok," said Buffy, "even though this seems to be up the Slytherin's alley, it will probably be all three Houses against them, so we have an advantage here in that the other Houses will band with us."

"That's assuming that they take our side," chided Hermione, "although out of the groups chosen most of them are not racist."

"Yeah," said Ron, "and most of them are also a part of the DA, even part of Slytherin. Harry could just wink and they'd turn on-"

"Too risky," interrupted Harry, "we have to give off the impression that we're all at each other's throats, although on this topic less so than any others. We have to give off the impression that we want to _win_ this debate, regardless of how stupid the topics are."

"Time's up!" Said Umbridge from her seat. "Speakers, take your places."

After a bit of uncertainty, Harry went to the Speaker's Corner, where Hufflepuff's Susan Bones, Ravenclaw's Michael Corner, and Slytherin's Draco Malfoy joined him. Malfoy was the first to speak up when the debate started.

"Well, it's obvious that the Pure-Blooded are superior to Mud-Bloods," he proclaimed arrogantly, "there shouldn't even be a debate on the topic at all. It's a well known fact that it's not how much studying or practicing one does, but the purity of your blood line that proves your power."

"If it's purity of blood that makes you powerful," asked Michael, "then how come the Muggleborns here are the ones who have better grades than the Pure Bloods? Your own Slytherin Triumvirate are all Muggleborns, and they have the best marks in Slytherin."

"Also," added Susan before Harry could reply, "the Pure Bloods are gradually all dying out as it is. If anything, it's the Muggleborns who could be considered superior if anyone can, since they're not the ones who are dying out due to inbreeding."

"Actually," said Harry as he collected his thoughts, "neither side is superior, as anyone with the right amount of training can become very powerful. For example, Voldemort-" this got most of the crowd to gasp at Harry's liberal use of Riddle's nickname, "was a Half-Blood himself, and yet he has been claiming all along that the non-Pure Bloods have to be eliminated. So in using his own logic against him, he would have to be eliminated in order to maintain 'Blood Purity.'"

This was met with nods of approval from both Michael and Susan while Draco looked on in disgust. Instead of continuing, he stalked of back towards the Slytherin table while the three remaining debaters looked on with smirks. They waited a bit before Dawn came back up to them to join the group.

"I'll be taking over now that Malfoy has taken a leave of absence," she said lightly to her audience, "now, the problem we're facing is that we've started off wrong. It's not about blood purity; it's about mage _superiority_. This means that it's about who's supposedly superior, not whose family lines are better. In which case, it is about who has more power, as well as control of said power, than others, and I am sure that once you hear what I have to say, even you will agree that it is the girls that are superior to boys, as we are the ones who have all the power."

This was met by howls of protest from the males from all the Houses while the females all laughed and began to cheer Dawn on, in spite of what House she was from. She looked about her and smiled before looking at the three people whom she was debating with. Harry and Michael were glowering at her, while Susan was smiling mischievously.

"How does being a girl make you automatically better than being a bloke?" asked Harry while the other males cheered him on. "Males have just as much power as females do, and we can control ours just as well as you can yours."

"Yeah," added Michael, "if we had a female Minister of Magic or Headmaster, how would it be better than having what we already got?"

"Well, for the first part a female Minister and a Headmistress would probably have talked with one another instead of acting like spoilt children and attacking or ignoring the other out of spite," replied Dawn while ignoring the sudden scowls that were given to her via Umbridge and the other Professors, "secondly, the Death Eaters would have been already captured by now if we had females in the lead, and there would be no need for the Ministry to investigate Hogwarts at all."

Howls of outrage came from all the male students around the Hall, and it took several minutes of Umbridge banging her gavel to restore a semblance of order to the proceedings, although there was still a murmur going around the student body.

"Quick captures aside," said Michael quickly, "women need men, so that there is a balance of sorts in life."

"A woman needs a man," piped up Ginny unexpectedly, "like a fish needs a broom. We can do well without, thank you."

This brought out whistles, cheers and an occasional 'go sister' from the females' side while the males muttered angrily.

"How would women get pregnant without men?" asked Michael, before noticing the death glares from some of the females, especially his girlfriend Ginny, after he said it.

"We're more than just incubators for babies," shot back Dawn, "and besides, there are spells to impregnate females without having to resort to letting males use us. What good are men for anyways?"

"We're good for a lot of things," replied Michael unsurely as he looked from Dawn to Susan and over to Ginny before looking back at Dawn again.

"Name one," said Dawn, but before Michael could answer Dumbledore, who along with the other Professors had been watching the debate go on with great fascination, interrupted.

"Would this debate be better suited as males versus females," he asked wryly, "as it seems to be heading that way anyways? Having it still remain in House format seems to be rather pointless if the team mates are just going to be fighting one another all the time. Perhaps a change in format is needed?"

McGonagall then directed the students to their new seating arrangements while the Professors were nodding their heads. The debating system was changed up so that there would be a single speaker for each team, while the others would offer advice or be 'tagged in' in case the speaker couldn't hold their ground according to the views of the judges. The males started off with Michael Corner, while the females had Buffy begin for them.

"Like Dawn said before," started Buffy, "name one thing males have better than females." Before Michael could answer, Mordred cut in.

"We don't bleed once a month!" He yelled, causing howls of outrage and fury to come from the females as Buffy glared at him with open disgust.

"How about I make you bleed _for_ a month?" She asked dangerously as she pulled back her arm, and if it weren't for Hermione and Dawn grabbing her arm she would have charged over and put her fist through Mordred's head. The girls grappled for a bit while Michael tagged in Mordred.

"_This_ is the reason we can't have a female world leader," he said as the other girls held Buffy back to the hissing and booing of the female audience, "we'd be attacking a new country, as well as ourselves, every twenty-eight days or less."

Before Buffy could reply, Mordred tagged Harry in, leaving the poor boy to feel the brunt of Buffy's wrath.

"Yeah sure, bash on women; let your real colours show!" she catcalled. "I mean, you men! It's all about the sex. Find a woman, drag her to your den, do whatever's necessary, just as long as you get the sex. I tell you, men haven't changed since the dawn of time."

"Oi!" Harry yelled back as the males all complained. "Just because some of us males are a bit ignorant, doesn't mean all men are. There are some good men here -"

"It's been my experience," cut in Buffy, "that the average male is _never_ a man, not even for ten minutes, in his entire lifespan."

Before he could reply, Harry was elbowed out of the way by Nott, who had been whispering with Mordred and Draco while Buffy was ranting at Harry.

"If it weren't for us men," began Nott, but before he could continue Dawn interrupted.

" . . . then us women would be happy and content!" She called out, causing the females to cheer as she high-fived Faith and her sister.

Nott tagged Draco in while Buffy tagged in Faith, who only glared at Draco for a minute before Draco blanched, turned around, and tagged out to Anthony Goldstein. Anthony stared at Faith before beginning.

"We men are needed," he said, "because without us, women would not be around."

"And how is that," challenged Faith with a glint of steel in her eyes.

"Because as we all know," replied Anthony evenly, "the first woman came from the rib of the first man, according to the Holy Torah, therefore without man, there would be no woman."

This caused some loud groans from some of the students, as religious debate was something most people wanted to avoid.

"Actually," replied Faith, "that's just one religion's take on it. There are other religions that suggest different ways the world began, and there's even Darwin's Theory of Evolution, if you believe it."

"Ok," challenged Anthony, "do tell about how Darwin's Theory is a better way to describe the start of humankind."

Faith stumbled a bit before tagging in Hermione, who cleared her throat before speaking.

"As everyone knows," she began haughtily, "human beings first started out as part of a primate species . . ."

"Bollocks!" called out Draco suddenly, "that's just Muggle mumbo jumbo that has no Magical facts in it at all!"

"Are you saying that the first men were once apes?" asked Anthony. Before she could answer, Dawn interrupted Hermione with her own two cents worth.

"Darwin was wrong." She called out. "Some men are _still_ apes!"

The entire place erupted as most of the people began arguing over whether evolution was real or not, and it took about ten minutes before Umbridge could bring back any semblance of order. Buffy stage-whispered to Hermione loud enough that anybody who didn't plug his or her ears could hear her.

"Man, though well behaved," she ryhmed through the cup of her hand, "is really but a monkey shaved!"

"Let's leave Muggle theories out of our school," overrode Umbridge snidely, "and get back to the debate at hand."

"Ok," replied Cho after tagging in while Hermione briefly glared at Umbridge, "then I have a question for you: can men get pregnant?"

"Well no," replied Anthony evasively, "but without us neither can women."

"Actually," Cho said in a rather snooty voice, "we can. We can either use the _Gravido Volva_ spell to impregnate ourselves, or we can use the Muggle technology of artificial insemination. We could even just adopt, as there are more than enough or-"

"Let me stop you right there," interrupted Mordred after tagging out Anthony, "before I am honour-bound to cut your face like an impoverished whore."

"Hold it, a _what_ whore?" Cho cried indignantly. "Do I even have to tell you how offensive that is?"

"Look, in my defence," Mordred said while holding his hands out as if to try calming her down, "if your mother had made dresses, I'd of called her a _tailor_ instead."

Cho then screeched in rage, and if it weren't for Buffy she would have flown at Mordred with her claws. Harry looked on in worry while Mordred laughed and added another cheap shot.

"Melodrama coming from you," he claimed, "is about as useful as an oral bowel movement." He then smiled and waited while Buffy and Dawn calmed Cho down.

"If women can use Magic or Muggle means to impregnate themselves," he told the audience, "then I'm sure us men can not only do the same to themselves, but also use incubators to do all the holding and nurturing for us if we needed to. So not only are us males better than you femmes, we are able to control our emotions better than you as well."

Hermione was about to comment, but Mordred cut her off right away.

"Don't you see, _Barbie_," Mordred said insultingly, "I would rather listen to you go on and on about the joys of Unicorn sex than the useless garbage you're spouting now."

"And you, you one-woman freakshow," Mordred said pointing at Cho Chang, "take your wah-wah to the wah-wah-tologist. Because if you are so stupid to confront me over some quasi-offensive endearment, then you've just gotta go ahead and change the captain of your brainship, because he's obviously drunk at the wheel."

This caused Cho to cry, leaving the Ravenclaw girls and Hermione to try comforting her while Hannah Abbot tagged in. Mordred snorted a laugh when he saw her while the Ravenclaw boys glared at his back.

"_Please_ tell me you ate a raccoon," he said scathingly, "and it's slowly making its way through your digestive system right now."

"Are you calling me fa-" Hannah began, but Mordred cut her off as well.

"Yes!" He yelled, getting a gasp from the females (as well as some males). "The honest truth of the matter," he said before pausing dramatically, "and this is a fact: you _are_ what you eat. And you clearly went out and devoured a big fat guy, didn't ya?"

This time it was the Hufflepuff girls turn to scream with fury at Mordred while the boys looked on in fear at the girls and anger at Mordred.

"It's like I've always said," Mordred proclaimed as he beat his chest proudly, "'Women! Can't live with 'em, no resale value.'"

Harry tapped Mordred on his shoulder and whispered into his ear in the hopes that Mordred would calm down a bit.

"You're a danger to both the dead and the living, yah know that?" Harry asked, but Mordred ignored him.

"How do you ever expect to get a wife with that attitude?" asked a now tagged-in Greengrass, "let alone a girlfriend?"

"As far as marriage is concerned," replied Mordred, "I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. A woman is like an Dragon - I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one. I like to keep my hands free and walk upright on my own."

"The only reason man learned to walk upright," called out Dawn, "was to free his hands for masturbation, which I'm sure you jerks have a lot of practice in!"

Shouts of shock came from the males while the females laughed at them. Umbridge banged her gavel down hard on the main table hard enough to cause cracks in it before order was re-established, and when the students had queited down she commented on the proceedings.

"You do know that there is a lot more to women that what you are saying," she said to Mordred.

"Not really," replied Mordred, "actually, I can prove using math that women are, in fact, evil."

"How so?" asked Umbridge incredulously, causing Mordred to take a breath before expanding on his accusation.

"Well you see," explained Mordred as he pulled out a piece of parchment from his robes, "this calculation here describes how women are evil using simple math that Muggles learn in high school." The students and Professors all looked at the chart, some with snorts of derision while others looked with wonder at what the chart had to say.

"According to the chart," said Mordred, "Women equal Evil. Now, all us men know that 'Women are worth both time and money'. Ergo Women equal Time times Money. We also know that 'Time Is Money', therefore Women equal Money Squared. Now, 'Money is the Root of All Evil' and 'A Root squared is equal to the root number' are both viable quotes here, so therefore Women equal Money Squared, which is equal to the Root of Evil squared. Therefore, this proves that Women are evil, via simple math. Any questions?"

There were howls of disbelief from the girls as the boys all pointed and laughed, as Umbridge stammered out a response.

"That's the most preposterous thing I have ever heard in my entire life!" Claimed Umbridge as she shook with rage. "Where did you come up with this hair-brained theory?"

Before Mordred could reply, Dawn jumped into the fray.

"Excuse me High Inquisitor," she asked Umbridge suddenly, "but perhaps you could help out our team? Headmaster Dumbledore can help out the boy's team if they want another member as well?"

The Headmaster and the Inquisitor got up from their seats and joined their respective teams on the condition that they were there to help, but not to argue for the teams. Mordred talked about marriage all the while, making as many disparaging comments as he could before the groups got settled in again.

" . . . and bam!" Mordred was saying, "the shine's off the apple. And that's when you find out that that pretty little girl you married isn't a pretty little girl at all. No, she's a man-eater. And I'm not talking about the 'whoa-whoa, here she comes' kind of man-eater, I'm talking about the kind that sucks out your very soul with her voice and uses your dignity as a dishtowel to wipe up any shreds of manhood that might be stuck inside the sink."

Greengrass, who had gone to consult with Umbridge in order to try finding out how to win, tagged Ginny in. Mordred grinned lecherously at her before rubbing his hands and licking his lips.

"It seems that with men like you available it leaves a woman with only two choices," she said, "either she's a feminist or a masochist. I thought that men and women were created as equals as we both need each other."

"Firstly, as a rule, I say, girlfolk ain't to be trusted," replied Mordred, "so giving you a choice at all would be just asking for trouble. Secondly, we are in fact equals, it's just that women lack the reason, accountability, and self-control that men have, and men lack the bitching, the whining, and the monthly insanity that women always thrust upon everyone else around them."

Ginny's entire face went as red as her hair, and it took both Hermione and Dawn holding her back to keep her from attacking Mordred. Mordred was about to continue, but Luna Lovegood was tagged in by accident by one of Ginny's flailing hands. Mordred stopped talking instantly as a look of fear passed over his face before he tagged out to Harry, who only looked on bewilderedly at her. The females of Hogwarts mostly groaned and whispered 'don't let her on, she's mad as a hatter,' but she ignored it as she began to speak.

"Today was rather a good day." She began suddenly, as if there had been no fighting at all. "I thought I heard a Nargle skittering by this morning, but I then remembered they were all taken care of along with the mistletoe. That's where they infest quite frequently in order to drop on people's heads." Most of the students giggled at this, but before she could continue Greengrass elbowed her out of the way so that she could speak while Umbridge whispered into her ear.

"Well, look whom we have here?" she asked in a vile manner while looking at Harry, "the crackpot himself, Harry Potter. Been having bad nightmares about scary ghosts? Are you afraid of the dark like so many other babies?"

"No," said Harry angrily, "just ones with Vol-" But before he could finish, Mordred jumped from the back of the group back into the debate as if he had never left.

"Speaking of babies," he interrupted from behind Harry, "some of you girls just can't stop from having babies. These are usually, unfortunately, the last ones you want to have kids. And yet you're popping them out like Pez Dispensers. I like to theorize that the amount of issues a girl has is directly related to how fertile she was, with more issues equalling more fertility. So in theory it's the girls who are the most unfit to have kids that are the most fertile. Us guys don't even have to have sex with you, just wave our sperm in your general direction, that should do the trick."

Greengrass snarled at him while Umbridge glared on, but before they could say anything Mordred continued talking over Harry's head.

"Women have a trend of dying their hair and wearing lots of makeup." He said challengingly. "One would kind of figure it wouldn't extend to the eleven year olds, but that's not true. Painted hair, more makeup than any respectable clown would wear, and they've got their skirts hiked up so far there's no point in putting them on at all. It's even getting to the point that older women have to look like clowns in order to get anyone's attention."

"You're not calling me a _clown_," asked Umbridge dangerously, "are you?"

"No, as a matter of fact I was talking with Harry just a moment ago," Mordred said to Umbridge from behind Harry, "and his opinion of your makeup was that your makeup doesn't make you look like a _clown_, it just makes you look like a prostitute that caters _exclusivly_ to clowns."

Umbridge's face lit up with rage at that final comment, and she instinctivly grabbed out her wand and pointed it at her object of hatred. But whether it was Mordred or Harry no one would know, as before she could fire, the other judges (including the Aurors) grabbed her and knocked the wand out of her hand. After a brief struggle, Shacklebolt got up to the main podium to announce the winner of the debate.

"Due to the High Inquisitor's use of a wand during the debate," he said, "the male's dorm of Hogwarts have been declared the winners of this debate as a result of a disqualification."

This resulted in half-hearted cheers from the males and jeers from the females as they all went back to their separate House dorms, although most of them complained on their way to their dorms about the utter failure of the debate to the Professors. Even though the debate was supposed to reign in the anger some of the students were feeling towards each other, it only seemed to make it worse as now instead of House versus House, it was now also male versus female. The weekend, however, was not a total loss, as the Sunday was Buffy's birthday. The Gryffindor House gave her a surprise party, with party hats, Butterbeer, fire whiskey and small cakes that Dobby had made. She even spent some time with the Triumvirate when they all snuck into Hogsmeade, and the four of them went shopping and got her various sweets, shoes, joke items, and weapons.

"So guy's," asked Buffy directly as they were eating some sundaes from Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, "what types of presents did you get me?"

"Well," began Dawn as she pulled out a her gift, "I got you a hoodie. It's gold on one side, and you can turn it inside out into a red one, so you have both of your House colours."

"I got you this B," said Faith as she pulled out a quite nasty looking meteor hammer with a ten-foot chain, a spiked ball on one end and an axe head on the other end. "I like how it looked, and thought how much you might like it."

Mordred gave her some Magical Mess Remover, some Instant Darkness Powder, and a small bit of Wit-Sharpening Potion as his gifts. They then all grabbed up some of the cakes that were left over before the Triumvirate went back to their dorms. Best of all (in Buffy's opinion) due to the Snow Golems attacking most of the monsters in the Forbidden Forest, she didn't have to Patrol that weekend (although Faith, Mordred and Spike did as a precaution).

On the Monday, however, the good mood was somewhat deflated as there was now a new decree on the boards.

_By Order of the High Inquisitor of Hogwarts_

_Teachers are hereby banned from giving students any information  
that is not strictly related to the subjects they are paid to teach  
in accordance with Educational Decree #26_

"I guess that debate didn't have quite the effect that Umbridge wanted," quipped Harry to Buffy during their lunch period.

"Maybe we should tell Umbridge that that means she can't comment on classes during her inspections?" asked Lee with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

Before Buffy could warn him against this, they had to go to their Divination class next, and by the time Buffy saw Lee next, it was during the DADA class that he raised this suggestion to Umbridge herself. This naturally earned him a detention where he had to cut up his hand via writing lines for the rest of the week. Harry recommended essence of Murtlap for Lee's hand, which helped out Lee a lot.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29: Fundays, Bloody Fundays**

During Patrolling that week, the Slayers, Mordred and Spike noticed that all of Mordred's Snow Golem army were melting away into watery puddles. Where it was most evident was in sections where there were growing infestations of monsters, as they now had less to deal with other than each other. On the Tuesday on the break between Double Charms and Double Transfiguration, Umbridge ordered the Triumvirate into her office, which was draped in lacy covers and cloths. She looked at one of the notes from Fudge while they sat down before clearing her throat in her usual manner and speaking to them.

"Now, as you know," she said in a falsely sweet manner that only barely hid her anger, "those stunts you pulled ruined my perfectly planned debate. It made me look like an idiot and it caused me to start to doubt your commitment to the Ministry. Now, please explain yourselves as to why you made such a mockery of my debate?"

"Well," said Mordred, "there are several reasons why we did what we did. First of all, in spite of what was planned, Harry and his cohorts were trying to divert attention towards Voldemort's alleged return. If we had done what he had wanted, he would have been able to promote more of his beliefs about Dark Wizards coming after the students, and he might have gotten more sympathy due to the break-out of former Death Eaters."

"Secondly," continued Dawn, "by making it seem that we were fighting you, we have now been able to gain the trust of Harry and his friends, albeit grudgingly. If they try to make our current multi-House study sessions into anything more reactionary, or try to create any new factions or groups that are against the Ministry, then we will be able to ferret them out before they happen."

"Not to sound snide," added Faith, "but this would all be so much easier if we were to have a squad of our fellow Slytherins to patrol the school with, adding points to those whom favour the Ministry and taking away points from those who listen to Harry's ranting. We would also need the authority to open and inspect packages, inspect rooms and dorms of other students regardless of House, and possibly hand out detentions that you approve of." Umbridge said nothing to this, but her thin smile and glint in her eyes gave away her excitement.

"We would be the leaders of it naturally," said Dawn thoughtfully, "along with Draco if you want someone else you trust. It doesn't matter, as we'll be able to choose who becomes members of our group as it grows."

"I like the idea," replied Umbridge earnestly, "I really do. It's just unfortunate that only you Slytherins are remaining loyal to the Ministry, even my own former House of Hufflepuff seem to have lost their sense of loyalty, which it has been based upon."

"Dark times like these can cause even the most loyal to betray others," said Mordred gravely, "that is why we need to do something soon before others begin to question the Ministry like Harry and Dumbledore are doing."

"Yes," Umbridge agreed while licking her lips in anticipation, "I agree wholeheartedly. I'll redouble my efforts to petition Cornelius to create this squad of yours. What should it be called?"

"The Inquisitorial Squad," replied Dawn with a grin, "for what else would befit Hogwarts only High Inquisitor?" This caused Umbridge to flutter and blush slightly, and she let the three of them go with a wave of her hand.

After lunch they were walking in the hallways when Draco and his two goons appeared from behind one of the many pillars in the Castle right in front of them.

"I take it you got a much deserved dressing down from the High Inquisitor?" simpered Draco while Crabbe and Goyle sniggered beside him. "Not feeling so high and mighty now, right?"

"Actually," replied Dawn, "we're feeling pretty good about ourselves." She looked at Draco with a grin on her face, which wiped the smirk off of his.

"Yeah," replied Faith in a casual manner, "the High Inquisitor sees eye to eye with us on different levels. We're even have a major plan in motion as we speak."

"What sort of plan?" Asked Draco hesitantly, as their confident manner had disrupted his gloating.

"No telling now," said Mordred as the six of them headed to their COMC class, "that would ruin the surprise. And besides, we have so many different plans going that it'd take forever to explain all of them to you."

"We might have similar plans," said Draco, "how do we know if yours are any better?"

"Okay let me ask you this Draco," suggested Mordred, "what's your Zombie plan?"

"My _what_?" asked Draco in a disbelieving manner. Mordred sighed dramatically and led Draco away from the others to discuss in a hushed whisper.

"There's two kinds of people in the world, Draco." Mordred stated. "Those who have a plan prepared for when the Zombies take over the Earth, and those who don't. We call those last people dinner."

"Nobody does that!" Stated Draco, but he was ignored as Mordred kept on telling Draco his plan.

"In _my_ Zombie plan," Mordred explained to Draco, "I'm going to the Arctic, because Zombies have no body heat. They'll all freeze like corpse-sicles! It's brilliant!"

"Nobody else thinks about stuff like that!" Draco stated boldly, but Mordred only laughed and then looked over his shoulder.

"Hey Dawn!" he called out, "what's _your_ Zombie plan?"

"I have two months worth of food stored in an attic in a house somewhere." She stated proudly. "I climb up and pull up the ladder with me, leaving all the Zombies to wander about aimlessly." She gave a big grin at Draco's goons, who was just as dumbstruck by the conversation as Draco was.

"What happens at the ends of the two months?" Asked Mordred in a curious sounding voice, but Dawn only laughed at him.

"Oh, I'm keeping that to myself!" She retorted. "I don't want to risk you turning into a Zombie and knowing what I'm up to!"

"Oh, come on!" Draco's complaint fell on deaf ears as they talked about theeir zombie plans.

"You still doin the Arctic?" Asked Dawn.

"You know it!" Replied Mordred proudly.

"You'll never make it," stated Dawn knowingly, "the major Floo-networks will be choked with stalled brooms and people trying to flee the major population centers! Its going to be nothing but a tasty fresh bottleneck!"

"Of course," Mordred added, "I'll also be using Draco's fresh corpse as bait to make my initial escape from the legions of the undead, since he doesn't have a Zombie plan of his own!" He then looked over at Faith. "What are you going to do Faith?"

"Knowingly infect myself with the Zombie virus," the dark haired Slayer replied with a smile, "just so I can devour Draco and his two friends!"

She then licked her lips in a hungry manner, getting the three boys to blanch and walk faster towards their destination, this time without any talking to slow them down. However, when they got to one set of stairs, they found that they couldn't get across due to the stairs not being in the correct place. Draco stomped angrily and looked down the stair well.

"Great," he muttered, "now how will we get to that stupid class on ti-"

Mordred cut him off by kicking him off the ledge and jumping on his back, riding Draco all the way down while snapping a picture with his camera. Draco landed with a crash at the bottom with Mordred on top of him, and not too much later Goyle and Crabbe landed next to him with Dawn and Faith, respectively, on top of them as well. The Triumvirate took off to their class, leaving the three racists to lie there moaning and spitting up blood. Draco and his goons were late for their class, and only after Herbology class did they manage to talk with the Triumvirate again in their dorm room.

"You didn't have to _push_!" a bleeding Draco whined at Mordred, who only shrugged before getting ready to head out Patrolling.

"Yeah, I didn't have to," he said with a grin, "but it sure was _fun_. I got a cool picture from my camera of you flailing too. Guess who has a new wallpaper?" He asked rhetorically before pointing proudly at himself and smiling. "This guy."

"Why do you hang around with Draco if you don't like him so much?" demanded Pansy as Draco limped away in a huff. Mordred shrugged his shoulders before answering.

"Some people are like slinkys," he explained, "totally useless but it's always fun to watch them fall down the stairs."

On the Wednesday, classes consisted mostly of pop quizzes mixed with field work on the practical side of the subjects, sending the students into a flutter and leaving them thoroughly exhausted by the end of the day. Thursday had only the Potions class for most of the Fifth Years, so Harry scheduled that week's DA lesson after Mordred's final class. They went over the basic spells that they had been going over for the past few weeks, plus the _Solaris Globo_ spell that the Scooby's had been using, as Buffy had suggested it to Harry in case they were ever attacked by Vampires. The Sunshine spell drained the students a lot quicker than it did the Slayers and Mordred, however, causing some of them to faint from the sheer exertion of it or to not even produce enough light for a candle, let alone a Vampire. After the DA class, the Scooby's and the Golden Trio all talked about what they learned about Umbridge and their upcoming weekend plans (or lack thereof to be honest).

"Do you think Umbridge will try that stupid debate again?" asked Hermione as Buffy and Faith were sparring with one another.

"Could be worse," Dawn said, "at least Umbridge didn't just have us sitting around talking about our feelings." Harry and Ron both laughed at that.

"I wonder how that would have gone?" asked Harry sarcastically, allowing Mordred to jump in.

"It would of wound up being about you telling everyone you like to go in the bathroom and cry while punching the mirror." Mordred said quickly, earning a glare from Harry but not much else as he was getting used to Mordred's glib comments.

"At least it can't get any worse," said Ron, causing the Slayers to stop sparring long enough to glare at him alongside Dawn.

"Sure it could be worse," suggested Mordred, "Umbridge could come out with Voldemort and perform a striptease with him during lunch. Thus proving the phrase 'no matter how bad it gets, it can always get worse'." The others made disgusted faces and Dawn mimed puking.

"Ok," Buffy said with a greening look on her face, "now that I'm _never_ going to eat anything again, I'll be vomitting in the shower. On the off chance there's a kind and loving God, I will knock myself out and choke on my own spew. Do _not_ help."

"I just can't believe that she was a Hufflepuff," said Hermione, "she's been favouring the Slytherins so much you'd think she was formerly one of them."

"It does make sense," said Dawn, "as she has shown loyalty in spades towards the Ministry and she's worked hard at trying to both usurp Dumbledore and keep the student and teacher's under her thumb all at the same time."

"Still sounds like she has more Slytherin traits than others," said Ron under his breath.

"You know," Mordred said casually, "there are three kinds of people that no one understands: geniuses, madmen and people that mumble. You're definitely not a genius, and although you've shown a desputable amount of intelligence you're hardly mad. So my guess is that you're mumbling something us Slytherins wouldn't want to hear, am I correct?"

"Hey," said Ron, "just because you say every mean thing that comes to your head and pretend it's funny, doesn't mean everyone else does. And besides, you talk in Parselmouth all the time so that no one else understands you."

"You don't like Parseltongue, fine," snapped Mordred, "try some Latin instead." He pulled out one of his wands, and if it weren't for Buffy jumping in the way he would have nailed Ron with a quick Jinx.

"Ok," Buffy said while standing between the two, "enough machismo for now. What else have you found out about Umbridge?"

"Well," said Faith, "she wants to get rid of all the part-humans. Mainly that means getting rid of Hagrid, but she also wants to try and get rid of Flitwick, because of his Goblin blood. She also wants to get rid of Dumbledore and McGonagall, because they've been Harry's best supporters. She just doesn't know how to do it though."

"Yeah, even though Dumbledore loves you," said Mordred to Harry, "everyone else either still thinks you're crazy or act like they do in order to not incur Umbridge's wrath."

"Anyways," said Buffy, "we've got to go Patrol now. See you guys around."

The two Slayers and Mordred then left the others and went out one of the Castle entrances via their brooms, flying low over the ground until they got to the Forest. Then they flew over the trees, searching for any Demonic activity. Although the larger Snow Golems of Mordred's armies were still in top shape, the smaller ones were slowly melting down due to the heat and number of monsters they were wiping out. Mordred went about reinforcing his troops with Mud Golems, but they were a lot harder to make so there were only a few of them by the time they went back to the Castle. While Mordred was making Mud Golems, the Slayers and Spike were attacking whatever monsters were left over, slaughtering them as fast as they could. By the time they all got back to the Castle, the three students felt that they had done a very good job that night.

Friday and the weekend came, although the students were hardly happy about it due to the huge amount of homework they were given by their Professors. Not only that, the Slayers and Mordred realized that once their Snow Golems melted down, they would have to get more serious in their Patrolling, which so far had been quite easy with the expendable Snow Golems helping them out. So, when they weren't doing homework, they were discussing ways of combating the Demonic hordes that had come about as well as bolstering the Order of the Phoenix.

"I have an idea," said Dawn while the others were sparring on the Friday afternoon, "we could ask the Centaurs for help."

"But the Centaurs don't like the Magical community," replied Buffy, "especially right now. Why would they help us?"

"I think I know on how to trick them into helping us," replied Mordred craftily before heading over to gather more potion ingredients while Buffy and Faith resumed sparring for the rest of the night before heading out to Patrol.

On the Saturday, the Slayers and Mordred went into the Forest to go looking for the Centaurs. They had some notes that Mordred had made that he believed would help persuade the Centaurs into helping their cause, although Buffy and Faith brought along some weapons in case the Centaurs tried to attack them. It only took them a short while before they found the Centaur herd in the deeper parts of the Forest during a meeting of some sorts. The four Centaurs, Magorian, Ronan, Bane, and Firenze, all turned on the three students and glared at them before their leader Magorian spoke up to them.

"Leave us now children," he commanded, "we are in the middle of an issue of much importance and do not wish to be disturbed by mere Human interference."

"We come here with some news for you guys," said Buffy, but before she could explain a black-haired one strode up towards her and pawed the air over her head with his front hooves before dropping back and yelling at her.

"We will not be a part of your wars!" he cried out in anger, "we shall not be pawns for mere Wizards to play with in their fights against one another! Leave us alone before -"

"Peace Bane!" cried out Firenze, "they've only come here to speak, nothing more. We, as civilized beings should give them the chance to be heard."

"We have some very important information," said Mordred before the other Centaurs could object, "about a spell that Riddle has done on a Centaur."

"What are you talking about?" asked Bane unbelievingly, "what sort of spell and what Centaur?"

"We don't know his name," said Faith, "but if you look at these pictures you might be able see what happened and decide for yourselves where you stand."

Mordred opened up his notes and showed them a picture of a modified Mortal Kombat Centaur called Motaro to show to the herd. Then he pulled out a picture of Motaro in his Minotaur form and held the two copies together.

"Voldemort has found a spell," he claimed, "that will turn free Centaurs like yourselves into monstrous Minotaurs that obey only his command. He has experimented on many other Centaurs, and has killed many in his quest to mutate them into slaves for himself."

"Where did you get this proof?" demanded Magorian uneasily.

"We found it in our travels," replied Mordred evasively. Bane charged forwards and took the picture out of Mordred's hands.

"You see!" he yelled at the others, "these Wizards are turning us into mere playthings for themselves to torture at their own whims. We should head deeper into the Forest and fight any Wizard who dares enter our lands!"

This caused the Centaurs to start arguing amongst themselves, leaving the two Slayers and Mordred off to the side with their arguments for joining the Order ignored. Magorian went to them before taking his herd deeper into the woods.

"We cannot join up with Dumbledore's Order of the Phoenix," he said gravely, "but we will _not_ join Voldemort's Death Eaters either. We already have enough problems as it is with the various monsters that are appearing from different worlds."

"What other monsters," asked Buffy, "and where are they?"

"On the other end of the mountains," said Magorian as he pointed towards the great peaks that were past the Forest, "there are several villages that were recently attacked by various monsters. We don't know where they came from, but it has been heard that they are looking for the Slayer, and may wish to join up with any parties that would help them kill her."

With that he then led his herd deeper into the woods, leaving the Slayers and Mordred to wonder aloud what else they were going to have to fight as they headed back to the Castle.

"Hey Mordy," asked Faith when those two left Buffy to head to the Slytherin Dungeon, "where did you get those pictures, anyways?"

"From my bag," replied Mordred nonchalantly as he headed into the boy's dorm, "with all my other stuff."


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30: The Greatest Stories Never Told**

On the Sunday, the Triumvirate and Buffy grabbed up their Pensieve and went over to Hagrid's hut to talk to him while he was tending his garden and reviewing student's homework and assignments.

"Hello you lot," Hagrid said as he looked up from his gardening, "what brings you four to my humble home?"

"We just want to ask you some questions," said Dawn, "about what you know about Voldemort."

At the sound of the Dark Lord's name, Hagrid froze on the spot as if he were a snapshot of himself. When he looked at the four students, he appeared very flustered.

"Now, uh, why," he asked falteringly, "would ye want ta know about him from me? I don't know any more about him than anyone else."

"Ah," replied Mordred, "but you did go to school with him, and he was the one who got you expelled. If it was me that got expelled by him, I'd have wanted to find out everything about him so I could get back at him properly."

"That's what separates us Gryffindors from you Slytherins," said Hagrid, "you lot are always trying to take revenge or enforce justice of your own type on everyone else. That stunt you pulled to catch Bagman was pure luck, and you should all be grateful you didn't end up getting hurt."

"It wasn't luck," said Faith, "but that's not the point. The point is, we need to find out what you know about Riddle, and we know exactly how to do it."

"Oh yeah," asked Hagrid skeptically, "and how do you expect me to do so if I don't want to? Remember, me Giant blood makes Magic less effective on me, so any Hexes you have in mind will just bounce off."

"We weren't going to use spells," said Buffy, "we were just going to point out that the more we know about Rolyport, even if it is just a little bit, then we'll have a better chance at taking him down. If we can find a weakness about him, even a small one that has been overlooked, it'd help a lot."

"Well, ok," said Hagrid unsurely, "if it helps take down You-Know-Who, then let's have at it. But I want you to know I don't like the idea of people messing with my head."

"Hey," said Mordred, "do this for us, and we'll talk to Ollivander about getting you a new wand."

"You think you can do that?" asked Hagrid unbelievingly as he led the four students into his hut.

Buffy pulled out the Pensieve and placed it onto the table in the middle of Hagrid's hut. She then pulled out her wand and pointed it at Hagrid in a non-threatening manner.

"Now, what we are going to do," she explained, "is siphon your memories of Riddle and place them into the Pensieve so that we can all look at them. We want you to think about Riddle from what you remember, and then look into Mordred's eyes so that we can do this correctly. Ready?"

"As ready," said a worried Hagrid, "as I can be."

He then lowered himself into a seat so that Buffy could put her wand onto his head (she still needed to stand on a chair to get that high) while Mordred raised his goggles. When Hagrid looked into Mordred's weird eyes, he went into a daze, allowing Buffy to easily extract information from Hagrid's head. When she was done, she pointed her wand into the Pensieve and poured out Hagrid's memories while Mordred pulled his goggles back into place.

"W-What happened?" asked Hagrid groggily as the others looked into the Pensieve. He followed their staring and looked into it as well, becoming captivated by his unburied memories.

There in the Pensieve, they saw Riddle as a Slytherin Head boy, wearing the Slytherin robes with a hint of pride in his dark eyes while he watched from amongst the other Slytherins that were taunting a younger Hagrid. They then saw him again behind a pillar while his goons were unsuccessfully trying to talk Hagrid into joining his group of followers by going out during the Holidays and recruiting more of his fellow Giants (Hagrid flat out refused before being pelted with spells by the future Death Eaters). And then again, they saw the infamous scene where Riddle attacked Hagrid while Aragog fled for his life. Hagrid was then led by Riddle to Headmaster Dippet where Riddle made his accusations against Hagrid. After that, the only other time Hagrid saw Riddle was in the shadows or with his followers as Hagrid had been expelled and made into the Games Keeper of Hogwarts, leaving him less time to watch the other students.

"Sorry I couldn't get any more memories," said Hagrid apologetically, "but that's all I remember. Do you think it'll help?"

"Not too much," replied Buffy honestly, "but at least you can say you had the courage to not become a Death Eater when so many others accepted Moldy-shorts' bribes."

Hagrid only grunted his response, although he did grin when Buffy was looking the other way as the girls and Mordred left him in his hut. Mordred and Dawn both headed off to the Dungeons to work on more potions while Faith and Buffy headed out to check on their Snow Golem army and to wait for night to fall.

At the start of Monday, Dawn raised her hand during History class, getting a few odd looks from the mostly sleep students.

"Professor Binns," asked Dawn, "how many of the major Muggle wars were caused or affected by Mage interference?"

"Just about all of them," he answered without his usual deadpan, "for example, the 1775 American Revolt that you Yanks seem to always brag about was actually due to some mischievous Wizards spiking the tea that was to be sent to the Colonies. They spiked the tea with a combination of Confusing Concoction, Felix Felicis, and Hate Potion, all mixed with some Everlasting Elixir to make it last several years. Some of the leaders of the Revolt used Gregory the Smarmy's Unctuous Unction believe them in their quest, and they used that devotion to cause the people to attack innocent British troops, causing a massive backlash. At the time, the French, Spanish, Dutch, Polish and Native American Wizards decided to also attack the British people, causing what was originally a very bad misunderstanding to turn into a war that lasted forty years."

"Forty years?" asked a confused Buffy, "but the War of Independence was from 1775 to 1783."

"The Muggle American Revolt was that long," replied Binns, "but the war fought between Wizards went until the War of 1812. It was due to the British Wizards trying to undo all the poisoning of the Colonists while at the same time fight both them and other nations who wanted the British Empire to fail at something. By the time some of the damage was undone, however, many American Wizards took up the Revolt without needing any of the spiked tea. It only ended in 1815 because the last surviving Wizard leaders of the Revolt died when they were burned along with the White House when the future Canadian Wizards helped the Muggles burn it to the ground. After that, we've had a truce that has grown into a very friendly relationship with the United States."

"Stupid Yanks," catcalled Draco lazily, "probably have their History teachers telling them a whole different story, eh Mordred?"

"I wouldn't know," replied Mordred, "I'm not an American."

"Both World Wars," Binns continued as if no one had spoken at all, "and the Great Depression in between were caused by a German Wizard called the Dark Lord Grindelwald, who was trying to take over the world via using Muggle peoples as puppets. First he set them to wiping out each other due to religious and racial reasons, then political and other reasons. His main goal, had Dumbledore not intervened, was to have the Muggles wipe themselves out so that the Wizards could finish off the victors, causing global genocide of all Muggles."

"That's horrible," breathed Hermione as the rest of the class listened to Binns in an unusual state of attentiveness, as most of them were usually sound asleep by now.

"As for the Cold War," continued Binns, "American and Russian Wizards were having contests between themselves that got very heated, but were controlled in a way so that a Total War would not break out again. However, none of this is on the exams, so if we go back to the 19th Century Giant Wars -"

After that class during the break before Potions class, Buffy sat at the Gryffindor table wondering what else this world's timeline deviated from her own world's timeline. But once she got into Potions she forgot all about it as Snape was being his usual unpleasant self except even more so due to the pop quiz he had the students do on Exploding Fluid. Buffy naturally caused hers to explode before she could hand it in, covering her with burns that kept her hurting for the rest of the day.

On the Tuesday during the Double Charms class, Flitwick had all the students paired off with members of the opposite House. Hermione was teamed up with Mordred, Harry with Draco, Buffy with Faith, and Ron with Dawn in an effort to help the Houses try and work together on their Shield Charms to use against everyday disasters. Before they began, Mordred hawked up loudly and spat on his wands before rubbing them clean with his hands, causing the other students to grimace.

"Could you do anything more disgusting than that?" asked a sickened Hermione.

Mordred responded quickly by popping a Puking Pastille into his mouth and swallowing before launching a thick, gooey streak of vomit that covered Hermione from head to toe.

"Yes," Mordred said after popping in an antidote, "yes I can. I guess you need to work on your Shield Charm a bit more, eh bitch?" Hermione stormed off, spraying those closest to her with drops of puke as Harry went up to Mordred.

"_I thought the twins products didn't work on you_?" Harry asked Mordred.

"_I modified them so that they're a lot stronger now_," Mordred answered, "_anyone else eats them, and it's their very guts they'll be puking up._"

During the break before Double Transfiguration, Buffy helped Hermione clean out the last pieces of gunk from her hair while Hermione filled the air with uncharacteristic expletives.

"How could he do such a thing," wailed Hermione, "he's so horrible at times, I want to kill him with my bare hands."

"Mordred is like a child," replied Buffy, "that's standing over a freeway with a bag of cherry bombs, a lighter, and a slingshot. He just can't help himself but hurt people." Hermione glared at her while Buffy ran her wand over the last of Hermione's hair, untangling it with a quick Charm.

"I'm not condoning it," said Buffy, "I'm just saying it's in Mordred's nature to do these sort of things."

"So, if it's something Mordred knows is bound to anger people," asked Hermione thoughtfully, "he'll do it, regardless of consequence?"

"He won't do anything like sell us out to the Ministry," replied Buffy, "but he will do things that will make Umbridge think he and the Triumvirate are on her side."

The next day at breakfast, Buffy's explanation was proved right as the Slytherins all came out with new badges.

"Hey, aren't those the 'Support Cedric' buttons they wore all last year?" asked Dean as the other students looked on.

"Yeah," replied Seamus, "only now they say 'Ministry' instead of Cedric. What a bunch of lousy sell-outs."

Indeed, the badges had been changed to say 'Support the Ministry' on them, but as Draco and his goons tapped their wands on the badges, the words "Potter stinks" remained the same.

"Don't worry about it," Buffy said to cheer up Harry, "in the end they'll be proven wrong, and it'll be 'Support Harry, the Ministry Stinks' buttons people will be wearing. Just you wait and see."

"I hope you're right," said Harry as they went to Divination class.

Around lunchtime, Umbridge got up and publicly thanked the Slytherins for making the badges before awarding them an extra hundred points and telling the other students and teachers that they should buy the buttons when they had the chance to do so. All of the classes that day consisted of loads of reviewing, pop quizzes, and were all followed up by mounds of homework, leaving the students with little else to do.

On the Thursday before the DA class started up, the Trio and female Scoobies were treated to the sight of the Weasley twins trying to take down Mordred as the rest of the group entered the Room of Requirement.

"You three stop that." Said Harry irritatedly as the twins both had Mordred in a double-headlock.

"He started it!" George yelled before Mordred elbowed him in the gut to break loose from him.

"He called us a bad name," Fred added, "I think it was bad. It might have been in Parselmouth."

"Stop it," Hermione warned, "or you're going to break something." Buffy noticed that they ignored Hermione's warning, so she decided to add some actual backbone to it.

"Or _I'm_ going to break something." Buffy threatened, causing the three to stop immediately. "What caused that anyways?"

"Mordred spoke in Parselmouth near Ginny," Fred responded.

"And since Ginny was possessed by You-Know-Who," added George.

"And he spoke Parselmouth as well," continued Fred.

"We thought he was trying to start up something with our sister." Finished the both of them together. Ginny rolled her eyes before kicking them both.

"I am _not_ some fainting daisy," she said to them both in a challenging tone, "I can handle myself, thank you."

Harry started the class by going over some of the basic spells they knew (Stunning, Shield, Disarming and others) as well as the more complex ones (Patronus, _Interstringo, Doppelumbra, _and_ Doppelspeculum)._ The students under Harry continued to grow in knowledge and ability, making Harry very proud of his accomplishments so far. Afterwards, the rest of the class left at staggered intervals, leaving the Golden Trio, the Scoobies and Ginny as the last ones to leave. Mordred had naturally taken to pestering Ginny as he had teamed up with her for their Shield Spells, and was ready for one last jab at her before she left so that she would try to break his shield with a lucky spell.

"I can see what sort of fascination Riddle's diary had for you," he drawled before trying to do his best imitation, "'Dear diary,  
Today I made some Inferi out of some Muggle corpses. I had my DEs slaughter some troublesome Aurors, and I had a lovely steak and kidney pie for lunch that will keep me nice and constipated so I can be an asshole at all times. The weather continues to be charming. Signed, Tom 'I hate Muggleborns despite being one' Riddle.' What girl can resist _that_?" Hermione, seeing the rage on Ginny's face, decided to distract her by changing the subject.

"Did - did you know that the original role of a Godparent is to teach their Godchild about religion?" Hermione asked Harry suddenly.

"Oh really?" Harry said while giving Hermione a sceptical look while the others looked on in interest.

"Yes." Hermione replied. "Of course, in your case, I don't see that happening."

"No, me neither," Harry agreed, "as far as I know, Sirius isn't religious at all."

"He'd be the last person _I'd_ put in charge of someone's religious education," said Dawn, "I wonder if your parents realized the meaning of the word 'Godparent' when they made him yours?"

"What made you curious about religion?" Buffy asked Hermione curiously.

"Well, I remembered that your excuse for Patrols was religious duties," answered Hermione, "so it got me wondering what sorts of religions you four have."

"Well," Buffy said, "Dawn and I are sorta non-practicing Christians, with a bit of Wiccan religion thrown in for good measure. We don't really worship, we just use what we can in our fight against evil. Crosses and holy water work very well against Vampires, whereas Wiccan magic has helped us even though I've only used a few spells no and then. I've just found that difference of opinion is helpful in religion."

"What is 'Wiccan magic'?" asked Ginny curiously.

"Sorta Earth Magic," said Dawn, "Willow would be better at explaining it than any of us would. In America, we have freedom of religion, but so far none of the religions are actually free."

"What about you Faith?" Hermione asked the dark-haired Slayer. "What religion are you?"

"Since I've seen so many weird things in my life," Faith answered, "I can't really say I'm an atheist. But I can say that through my experiences I've found that all religions are the same, as religion is basically guilt with different holidays for people to fight with their families at."

"Wow," said Harry, "that's sorta depressing, although true. My uncle and aunt always fought during Christmas with their families, or at least Uncle Vernon's family as they all got very drunk and insulted one another when they weren't ordering me around. I've never really known much about religion, only that my uncle and aunt go to church every Sunday where they are very miserable. Even Dudley hates it there."

"What about you Mordred" asked Ginny curiously, "what do you believe?"

"Well," said Mordred, "I don't think what I believe is what could be really called a religion to you lot, but it's my own religion nonetheless. I've been reading the Book of Unfound Spells, and it tells a bit about a religion based on what was called the Great Old Ones. So through it, I know of Azathoth, Lord of All Things, but he's also a blind idiot God, so I try to avoid direct worship of him. I also know of Cthulhu, but then again, he's just a great priest of the Great Old Ones, and not a God himself. And just because I know _of_ the Great Old Ones doesn't mean I worship them, I just respect them."

"What religion are you, Hermione?" asked Buffy, "since you want to know ours it's only fair that we should know yours."

"I'm an Anglican Christian," replied Hermione, "although I'm not big on religion myself, it's what my parents brought me up as. To me, the bibles of any religion started out as merely oral history, being passed down word-of-mouth from parent to child." She cleared her thoat, causing Harry and Ron to groan as she was about to go into a lecture.

"From Hebrew it's translated into Arabic," she continued, "from Arabic to Latin, from Latin to Greek, from Greek to Russian, from Russian to German, and from German to an old form of English that was hard to read. There was about four hundred years of evolution of the English language to the bibles we have today, which means they are translations of translations of translations of translations of translations of copies of copy of a copy of a co-"

"We get it," interrupted Ron irritably, "it's been written over almost as many times as you write over your notes."

"What I'm trying to say," snapped Hermione, "is you can't put a potion ingredients list through that many translations, copies, and re-telling, and not expect to have some big changes in the potion you are brewing. And yet people are killing each other over this written word. I guess my theory is if you're killing someone in the name of God, you're missing the message."

"How can you guys believe in something you've never seen?" asked Ron curiously, getting non-committal looks from some of the others before Dawn piped up.

"I'll do my best to explain." She began to pace back and forth, her brow knitted in thought. Finally, she stopped and looked at the others.

"You know how you asked why people devote their lives to something they don't know exists?" she asked. "Well, you know Magic is real, so you have proof that Magic exists. But do you always see it working? Do you know _how_, exactly, it works? Can you tell me exactly what goes on when you say a spell to make the magic happen? No, right?" She paused while the others nodded in understanding as to where she was going with her train of thought.

"I guess it's kind of like that," she stated, "people believe that God created the Earth. That _is_ their only proof, as they don't know _how_ God did it, or why, or even really when, but they believe they know because the proof is there." She furrowed her brow. "Well, that's _my_ guess at any rate. But then again, what do I know about it? I'm just a non-practicing Christian who is also part Wiccan when I need to be, after all."

"What do you worship?" Buffy asked Ron and Ginny, getting them to look nervously at one another.

"We don't really worship at all," replied Ginny, "it's more of a tradition among Purebloods than actual religion. We're not raised to have faith, only follow tradition."

"There are some Laws that we go by," added Ron in a helpful voice, "called the Ten Laws of Magic. They are used the same way the Muggle Ten Commandments are used in the three Muggle religions."

"What are the Ten Laws of Magic?" asked Buffy curiously, as the Triumvirate, Harry and Hermione looked on with interest at Ron and Ginny.

"First Law is," stated Ron, "'One person is wise, the many are gullible.' Second Law is 'The greatest evils can come about from the best of intentions.' Third Law is 'Don't let emotion rule reason for better or for worse.' Fourth Law is 'There is Magic in sincere forgiveness, both given and received.' Fifth Law is 'Mind what people do, not what they say.' Sixth Law is 'Reason is the only Ruler'. Seventh Law is 'Life is the Present, not the Past or Future.' Eighth Law states 'Deserve your success'. Ninth Law says that 'Reality cannot be denied in whole or in part'. And the Tenth Law says that if you 'Betray the Truth, you betray yourself.' But other than the actual names of the Laws, not many of us know what they mean."

"Only those of us who don't look it up," stated Ginny, "the First Law means that any one of us can make decisions for themselves, but if we're a mob of people we all end up making silly decisions based on our fears and hatreds. The Second Law is the same as the phrase 'Hell is paved with good intentions' as people who think they're doing the right thing can make the worst of mistakes."

"Such as Voldemort," stated Harry in understanding, "as he believes he is right in wiping out the Muggleborns."

"Correct," said Ginny, "the Third Law is pretty self-explanatory as people who let their emotions get ahead of them always end up getting into trouble."

"Like Harry," added Buffy while Harry glared at her, "whenever Umbridge goaded you into yelling at her."

"Or like Buffy and Faith," added Harry, "when Umbridge insulted the Slayer line." Buffy conceded with a nod of her head as Ginny continued.

"Fourth Law means that forgiveness is as much a part of Magic as Love or Time is," said Ginny, "Fifth Law tells us to watch what people do instead of just what they say. Sixth Law tells us to think for ourselves, Seventh Law tells us what we're doing now is more important than what has happened or will happen. Eighth Law means we have to be justified in our convictions as well as completely committed to them." She paused to remember the reasons behind the final two Laws.

"Ninth Law means what is happening is what is, and has to be dealt with instead of ignored," she said, "and the Tenth Law is more or less the same, as it says that if you ignore what is happening then it'll only hurt you."

"Sounds like the Ministry," gloated Harry, "are only hurting themselves by ignoring the truth about Voldemort's return."

"Some people," said Buffy wearily, "just can't face up to facts no matter how big they are."

"So, you have Laws," asked Dawn, "but what sorts of deities do you believe in, if any? What do you think created the world?"

"Well," said Ginny thoughtfully, "according to those of us who are either Jewish, Christian or Muslim, the race of Witches and Wizards came from Adam's first wife Lilith, after God had created the world. Muggles came from his second wife Eve, after she had eaten the forbidden fruit. However, due to the various religions of the world we can't prove or disprove that the Gods do not exist, nor can we prove that the world and everything in it was not created by an entity or entities in the distant past. Although we tend to worship at the alters of Muggles that we live with, it's more 'just in case our Magic is really 'God-given' than actual our own'. It is my opinion it's better that we be kind to one another because we choose to be so, and because it is the right thing to do, rather than being scared into the threat of divine punishment."

"What about the various religious characters," asked Dawn quizzically, "how do you explain Jesus, Moses, Buddha, and the others?"

"Simply," answered Ginny, "they were Wizards."

"Why would you think they were Wizards?" Buffy asked in bemused confusion.

"Because most of what is in the Muggle Bibles is pretty incredible," Ginny explained heatedly, "it could very well be that before Wizards were as discreet as we are today, they were more publicly active, and down the line somewhere, they realised Muggles were getting suspicious and needed an explanation. So they created these various religions."

"For example?" Buffy asked predictably.

"Well . . . someone – no, I don't know their names," said Ginny, "someone changed a staff into a snake. A Muggle couldn't do it, but a Wizard could with a simple Transfiguration spell. This guy Moses pops up a few times, he parted the Red Sea and let people walk through. Fred and George can already _do_ that," she said before looking at Ron, "remember when they did that with the lake by our house one time and caused such a mess that made mum flip out?"

"Oh yeah," said Ron, "they even said something about telling mum to go listen to the burning bush that told them to do that, but she just grounded them for causing a mess at the lake and burning her favourite flowers."

"All I know so far," stated Mordred before they all headed out, "is a) there's no such thing as real immortality, even stars must someday die, and b) You don't screw around with the infinite. In the cases of the Great Old Ones, if you give an inch, the Elder Gods will take a mile if you're lucky. If you're unlucky, it'll be your very soul."

On the Friday, the Scoobies went to the library and to the Room of Requirement to look up the various types of monsters that were looking for the Slayers around the other side of the mountains. The Golden Trio tried to help out, although they had their own problems to deal with.

"What's that?" asked Ron as he was looking over Buffy's shoulder as she looked at a book full of Demon pictures.

"Caull." Said Mordred, causing Ron to look back at Mordred in confusion.

"What?" asked Ron.

"He called you a Caull," Buffy tried to explain, "it's a British expression, it means like, moron."

"No," clarified Mordred, "a Caull is a creature that has been modified by Magic into something else, something more dangerous. If I wanted to call him a moron I would have just called him one in English." Ron shot a withering glare at Mordred as Buffy tried to hide a smile.

"I think I'd know if it were a British expression that meant moron," explained Ron, "as I've lived here all my life and have been called every type of insult that there is by my older brothers."

"Why would Caulls need to be created?" asked Hermione, "what is the point of mutating regular animals?"

"Mainly so that they can be used for tracking," replied Dawn, "as one cobra was turned into a Caull to go after me one time."

"Why was it sent after you?" asked Harry curiously, causing Dawn's eyes to widen in the realization that she had said too much. But before she had to think of an answer, Faith made the save by pointing out another type of creature that looked very tough to beat.

"A Jachyra," she said proudly, "these beings are humanoid beasts with red skin and fur that have poison that goes after both body and soul. They're masochists, so any pain we dish out on them will just make them happy."

"I know what we could do to them," said Dawn, "we could feed them explosive materials, and then make them explode at our leisure."

"Hey," said Faith appreciatively, "that's a good idea."

"Score one for the Dawnster," crowed Dawn, "Come one, who's the man?"

"You are," replied Buffy wearily, "a very short, annoying man."

"You're a _man_?" said Mordred in an over-exaggerated tone of voice, "dude, I _knew_ there was something not right with you."

"Ha-ha," replied Dawn before she muttered, "wiseass" under her breath as she looked through more books along with the others until it was time for Faith, Buffy and Mordred to go Patrolling.

On the Saturday, Harry and Ron decided to blow off some steam by sneaking out of Hogwarts and heading into Hogsmeade to grab up some sweets and relax while Hermione was working on her homework (she was so busy she barely noticed them in the Common Room as they left with the Marauder's Map and Invisibility Cloak in hand.) They were caught partway along the third-floor corridor between the staircase near the Entrance Hall and the Gryffindor Tower by Dawn, who saw them opening up the secret door to the Honeydukes cellar.

"Where do you think you're going?" asked Dawn confusedly, as she didn't remember reading this in her books.

"Out to get some fresh air," said Ron dejectedly, figuring that since they were caught he may as well get ready to lose some points. Harry, however, had a different idea.

"Why don't you come with us?" asked Harry to Dawn, earning him a surprised look from Ron, "you can hide under the cloak with us."

"Ok," said Dawn, "just as long as both of you boys keep your hands to yourselves, I'm good with traveling under a cloak."

The three of them then went through the secret entrance before it closed up, and came out in the Honeydukes cellar. Dawn and Ron grabbed up as much candy as each of them could swipe while Harry held the Cloak up over them and kept watch for people who might notice them. Then they left the store and went wandering around until they got to the Zonko's Joke shop, where they went in to do some shopping (or in Dawn's case, shop-lifting.) When they were just about ready to leave however, they came upon an unexpected sight.

"Hey," said Dawn pointing, "what's Kreacher doing out of the Black Mansion?"

"Probably stirring up trouble," said Harry.

"Most likely Sirius just got sick of him and sent him out for the day," suggested Ron, but Dawn elbowed him when he tried to get them to leave.

"If Kreacher was sent out," explained Dawn, "he could go to Narcissa Black, Draco's mom, and tell the Death Eaters all of our plans. We have to stop him before he does that."

"Let's see where he goes," suggested Harry, "and try to catch him before he does anything."

The three students followed Kreacher while under their cloak, dodging out of the way of people whenever they were almost bumped into. They followed him all the way up towards the Shrieking Shack, where they saw him crawl through one of the boarded up windows as if he were merely going through some curtains.

"Why is he going into there?" asked Harry, "do you think there could be Death Eaters in the Shrieking Shack?"

"Let's go find out," suggested Dawn as she led the way to the Shack, picking her way over the debris in the overgrown garden with the other two boys before they got to the boarded up doors. The two boys slowly took off some of the planks from the spot Kreacher went through so that the three of them could crawl into the Shack, and when they got inside they looked around to see where Kreacher had gone.

"I think he went this way," whispered Harry quietly as they went up the stairs that had once led the two boys and Hermione to Sirius Black, and when the three students entered into the room that they had found once Black in Harry and Ron remembered on how he looked back then. Dawn noticed them shivering from the memory, so much so that all three of them didn't notice the tingling that happened as they entered into the room.

"He's not here," said Ron, but before the other two could reply a new voice came floating through the air.

"No," it said, "but I am."

With that, there was a moment for the three to panic before they all dropped into a pit, with Dawn catching a hold of something to keep her from tumbling in with the two boys.

_I make a wish that I don't fall I make a wish that I don't fall_ Dawn thought quickly and uselessly as claws pierced her hands and feet.

"AGGH!" she cried out as the being lifted her up, "New wish! New wish!"

It then tossed her down with the rest of her friends, and she banged her head when she landed, knocking her out.

Meanwhile, back at the Castle, the two Slayers had begun looking for Dawn as they wanted her help on some of their homework, as Mordred was too busy looking up potions ingredients and making newer potions for himself while talking with Hermione about SPEW to be bothered helping them.

"They went out to Hogsmeade," confided Hermione when they asked her, "to blow off some steam and waste their money when they should be studying and working on their homework. If it wasn't for me they'd never pass any of their courses."

"Those two," said Mordred as he appeared from behind them, "are just dumber than a bag of hammers. I say you should let them fail if they're so prone to it."

"And what about you helping Faith?" asked Hermione challengingly, "shouldn't -"

"Enough!" interrupted Buffy, "we need to find out where those three have taken off to. If they're still in Hogsmeade then it should be easy to find them gorging themselves, but if they've wandered off or been captured then there'll be Hell to pay for us all."

"Well then we should head out," suggested Faith, "Mordy, you go check Knockturn Alley and don't get caught up in buying or stealing potion ingredients. B, you go check out the Shrieking Shack. I'll go look over the rest of Hogsmeade."

"Be sure to take your owls," advised Hermione, "as quick messages will help you out in finding them."

The three of them then headed out, flying on their brooms and splitting up quickly when they got to Hogsmeade. Buffy flew towards the Shrieking Shack, and saw Kreacher huddling outside of the shack. Lurking in the branches above the tree was what only could be described as a group of hooded Demons, looming too close to them for Buffy's liking. She sent her owl off to get Faith and Mordred, and before she began her descent they were at each of her sides. As she swooped in towards the Demons she grabbed up a large metal cross out of the ground, catching the demon's attentions.

"Thissss one," said the Demon as it looked at Faith, "looks tasssty."

"Thanks," Faith replied as she flew around that demon, "I work out."

The first Demon looked up into the sky at Buffy, laughing at her cross

"Sssstupid human," it said, "I am no vampire. You think I fear the cross?"

Buffy answered by quickly launching the cross at the demon, impaling it through the skull into the ground where it stood there, dead.

"Might wanna start." Buffy replied as Mordred Levitated Kreacher out of harm's way.

"That was a bit repulsive." She muttered to herself as Mordred flew by.

"Kinda weird using a crucifix to kill someone," he asked, "eh?"

"You don't know much about religion," asked Buffy, "do yah?"

The conversation halted when a loud roar was heard. The next thing they saw was a Demon getting tossed, landing smartly against a tree, its spine cracking from the force.

Growls and snarls were heard as Faith went tumbling through the brush with another Demon trying to slice her.

"God, this thing smells," complained Faith as she put her hands on its head. She twisted it harshly, making it fall dead on top of her. She rolled it off of her body and stood on shaky feet while the final Demon looked at the three students.

"Ssssily foolsss," it rasped, "you only delay the inevitable."

"Nothing is inevitable," quipped Buffy, "as long as you stand up, look it in the eye, and say, 'You're _evitable_!'"

She then threw her sword, which lodged itself into a tree while the Demon hung from it like a torn flag. As Buffy went over to retrieve her sword, Faith went into the Shrieking Shack while Mordred began spinning a screaming Kreacher in the air to pass the time.

"Hey B," called out Faith, "I found their wands!"

"Is there any sign of where they went?" asked Buffy worriedly.

"Nope," said Faith, also worried, "sorry."

"How about we torture the little bugger," suggested Mordred, "until he sings us a song we like?"

"Or we could bring him to Dumbledore," Buffy suggested, "while you continue looking."

"Ok," said Mordred, "I'll get my Snow Golems to help out."

The others looked on as he motioned towards some of his minions, who were now mostly slush and couldn't move.

"Or you could go flying around and look," suggested Faith, "using those snakes you've Conjured to help out."

"Oh yeah," said Mordred, "I almost forgot about them. Good idea."

With that, he flew off while the two Slayers took Kreacher to the Castle. Mordred came back to the Castle with only a bit of news.

"The snakes saw the three students being carried out in sacks by some creatures in cloaks," he said in Dumbledore's office to the two Slayers, Spike, and Dumbledore, "but they disappeared into flames, so we still don't know where they went."

"So we're back at square one," said Buffy, "any ideas on where they went, Troubadour?"

"One of my spells have shown me that a Portkey was used to teleport the group into a Magical ward," replied Dumbledore, "but I don't know the location and the ward itself has been blocked from me. I suspect the place we seek has been made Unplottable by various spells, as I cannot find it through scrying."

"So we're gonna have to search the area on broom and on foot," said Buffy agitatedly, "and fighting monsters while who knows what is happening to my sister and friends."

"I have three words that will solve all of our monster problems," said Mordred as he looked at the others, "Fire Breathing Snowmen." The others paused in shock as they took in what he had said as he beamed at them all proudly.

"What part of Hell," asked Spike incredulously, "did you visit for that insane idea?"

"Hey Mordy," catcalled Faith, "your proctologist called, he said he found your brains."

"What does Kreacher had to say about himself so far?" asked Buffy, "what's his story?"

"Why don't we hear it for ourselves?" suggested Dumbledore as he motioned for Kreacher to be brought out. The evil House Elf was brought out by Sirius, who had him by the neck, muttering to himself all the while.

"Master Sirius doesn't believe Kreacher is cleaning," he muttered, "Master Sirius does not respect the old ways, Kreacher respects the old ways. Master Sirius doesn't believe Kreacher, he never did, Master Sirius never believes Kreacher when Kreacher says he serves the Noble House of Black, Master Sirius never believes Sirius, Master Sirius believes Kreacher is a bad Elf, but I is a good Elf, Kreacher is."

"Why were you there, Kreacher?" asked Dumbledore kindly while Buffy glared at him, ready to help Sirius throttle the Elf. "What made you go to the Shrieking Shack?"

"Master Sirius tells Kreacher to go away," explained Kreacher while pointing at Sirius, "Master Sirius comes back from Azkaban ordering Kreacher around, oh my poor mistress, what would she say if she saw the House now, scum living in it, her picture's thrown out, she swore he was no son of hers, and he's back. But Kreacher goes away, like Master Sirius says. Master Sirius didn't tell Kreacher _where_ to go away to, though, so Kreacher went to Mistress Narcissa's, where she told him to lead Harry and his friends into a trap at the Shrieking Shack. Kreacher is a good Elf, Kreacher listens to Master Sirius, Kreacher follows Mistress Narcissa's orders. Kreacher is a good Elf. But sometimes other things happen when plans have already been made."

"So this totally adds to my 'old people are crazy' theorem," said Buffy, "even though he's an Elf instead of a person per say."

"What do you mean 'other things happen when plans have already been made'?" asked Dumbledore, "what happened?"

"Kreacher was told to bring Harry to the Shrieking Shack," mumbled Kreacher, "and I did what they told me to do. But instead of the Holy Knights of Walpurgis being there, these hissing monsters were there instead, and they stole Harry and his two meddling friends away."

"Where did they take them?" asked Buffy, but Kreacher only shook his head.

"Don't know," replied Kreacher, "and don't care either. Hopefully they will eat those Mudbloods and get rid of them for us."

Kreacher then went into peals of laughter that were stopped when Mordred casually flicked out his wand and caused a large gash to appear on the Elf. He would have added more, but Dumbledore got in his way and glared at him.

"Your frequent use of Dark Magic," said Dumbledore gravely, "has caused me some concern as of late."

"Yah well," Mordred replied, "I'm no bloody white hat, I'm not a good guy, and I'm not fighting the good fight. I'm just fighting the smart fight. If that means using Dark Magic, then so be it."

"Be careful you don't delve too deeply in the Dark Arts," cautioned Dumbledore, "otherwise you will become lost in them."

"We should split into groups," said Buffy hurriedly, "and go looking for them. Mordy, you go with Rumpledore and Sirius around the Forest while Faith, Spike and I go looking in the outer areas. We should keep looking until we find them."

"Be sure to send out a signal when you do find them," said Dumbledore, "and bring them right back as soon as possible."

"I don't want to think about what will happen," said Sirius angrily, "if we fail."

"Operative word," Faith said in emphasis, "_If_."

"Operative word," replied a depressed Spike, "_Fail_."

"Or," added Mordred, "operative word 'Wheeee!'" He then looked at the others who were looking at him as if he had grown a second head. "I'm sorry, I just . . . ahhhh . . . I haven't had a good pun in a while."

"That would still be the case." Said Dumbledore evenly, getting a smile form the others.

"I'll remember you all in therapy!" Threatened Mordred as they all left the office while Sirius and Spike both took back ways out using Portkeys.

"If you have to go to the bathroom," said Mordred as if he was a tour guide, "it's on the left. If you don't have to go to the bathroom, picture what you're about to face. Better to go NOW." He then noticed the glares from the others.

"Hey," he said, "it's better to be pissed off than pissed on."

On the outside, Sirius (in dog form) and Spike both met up with the groups before they split up. One flew East, one flew West . . .


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31: And One Flew over Cthulhu's Nest**

Meanwhile, somewhere in the middle of a odd-looking church, one of the kidnap victims had woken up on a cold, hard floor and looked around herself in confusion that gave way to anger and frustration as Dawn threw her head back in annoyance; _kidnapped again! _She thought. _Why didn't she just tie herself up and write a big sign saying 'sister of the Slayer- please attack me' but then, it probably wasn't the Slayer thing this time_. She looked around herself and saw that Harry and Ron were both unconscious next to her. Firmly but gently, she kicked Harry with her foot until he woke up.

"W-What happened?" he asked shakily as he sat up slowly.

"You and Ron were kidnapped by Death Eaters," answered Dawn glibly, "I just came along for the ride. "

"Where are we?" Harry asked as he adjusted to his surroundings quite quickly, "what's the matter with Ron?"

"He's just knocked out; I guess I woke up first 'cause I have a lot more experience being knocked out than you guys." Dawn went over to try and wake Ron. "I have no idea where we are, I don't suppose you do, do you?"

Harry shrugged uselessly.

"Right, didn't think so," Dawn sighed in annoyance as Ron began to stir, "time to get up, sleeping beauty."

"Five more minutes, mum." Ron mumbled.

Harry laughed and went to help Dawn nudge Ron so that he was almost fully awake.

"Harry?" Ron asked, "Dawn? What are you both doing here?"

"Being kidnapped," answered Dawn evenly, "same as you."

"What? Why? Where? Who?" Asked Ron as he rubbed his eyes sleepily.

"No clue," answered Dawn, "but look on the bright side, at least we're not dead."

Even with her bright attitude, Dawn had to admit to herself that things still didn't look that good. No one knew they were missing and probably wouldn't until much later. She knew that they could be anywhere in the British Isles instead of just in some close by warehouse like the case used to be in Sunnydale, and they had no weapons against evil Wizards. But despite the doom and gloom crowding her emotions, she still managed to summon up a smile for her friends.

"Don't worry; we'll be rescued," Dawn said reassuringly, "I've been kidnapped loads of times and it always goes the same way; captured, locked up in the dark for hours, taken to the leader, they blurt out their big plan and then some hero (usually my sister) saves you at the very last second. I could set my watch by it."

"You've been in this position before?" Ron asked as he looked at her somewhat accusingly.

"Yes." Dawn replied nonchalantly as she looked around. "We just have to wait for a bit, and they'll come through. I'm sure any minute they'll come bursting in through the door."

However, despite the intensive searching done by the two groups, Dawn and the boys were not rescued that day, nor were they rescued the next day or the day after that either. They saw dark forms of their captors when they were fed, and heard about an auction that their captors were trying to negotiate, but other than that, they had no idea where they were.

"I say we give these brats to the Death Eaters," said one of the Vampires that held them captive, "at least they have money to buy food with."

"And I say," one of the Demons, "that we wait, and see what the other group has to offer. They said they have power to offer us, and I want to see if we can use the power. Money can be taken anywhere and any time, power is more useful for us against the Slayer."

At the same time that night, Dumbledore met up with the two Slayers and Spike as Buffy was throttling a Demon for information after attacking a group of monsters.

"I don't think he knows where they are," cautioned a calm Dumbledore, "so you can stop strangling him. You two should get some sleep, as you've been up for three days and have missed classes because of it."

Buffy responded by tossing the Demon against some boulders, splattering him like a rotten egg.

"How can you be so calm?" shouted an angry Buffy while Faith glared on, "my sister and friends could be being tortured or worse and we haven't found them yet."

"Calm down my dear," said Dumbledore reassuringly, "I'm merely saying that you should get some sleep so that you can function better, and also because your Slayer dreams may help us out in finding the location of the area that we seek."

Buffy and Faith's eyes both widened in realization, and they thanked Dumbledore profusely.

"Also remember to thank Mordred and Hermione," added Dumbledore as they went back to the Castle, "they have both been taking notes for you and the others for your eventual return to classes."

Buffy and Faith both rolled their eyes as they each headed off to their dorms, where they both passed out cold from sheer exhaustion and began to dream.

_In Buffy's dream, she saw a small deserted town that looked older than Dumbledore himself, filled with houses that looked like they were crumbling into the ground. __In the middle of it a black spire stood out against the cloudy sky above the tiers of dark roofs lining the deserted alleys. Buffy somehow knew at once what it was and was instatnly drawn to it, as she plunged toward it through the __filthy__, unpaved lanes that made up the avenue. Several times she got lost, but she was able to use the tower as her point of __reference as it was easily spotted__ against the sky along with a huge stone bulk that rose darkly at the end of an alley. Finally, she stood in a wind-swept open square, with a high bank wall on the opposite side. In front of her stood a wide, iron-railed, weed-grown plateau which the wall supported before which there stood a grim, titan bulk that was hard to mistake for anything else._

_The vacant church was in a horrible state of disrepair, as some of the high stone __support__s had fallen, and several of them lay half lost among the neglected weeds and grasses. The windows were mostly broken and boarded up, though some of them remained untouched in spite of the known habits of small children the world over. The large doors themselves were unmarked and tightly closed, while around the top of the bank wall, fully sealing the grounds, was a rusty iron fence with a padlocked gate at the head of a flight of stairs in front of the plaza. The path from the gate to the building was completely overgrown with weeds and plants, while, desolation and rot floated like a pall above the place, causing Buffy to feel a major touch of the wiggins._

_Buffy then saw a newspaper floating by the empty streets, and grabbed it as it passed over her head. From what she read, there had been a bad religious sect there in the old days, one that that called up __terrible__ things from some unknown gulf of night. It had taken a powerful Wizard to exorcise what had come, though there were some people who said that merely the light could do it. But now there was nothing to do but leave it be, as it hurt nobody now, and those that owned it were dead or far away. They had scattered away like cockroaches after the threatening talk in the past, when people began to mind the way folks vanished now and then in the neighbourhood. _

_When Buffy looked up from the page she found herself somehow closer to the raised area, where she examined the bank wall and rusted fence for possible avenues of entry as she mentally fought a terrible lure that drove her onwards to the place. The fence had no opening near the steps, but around on the side of it were some missing bars. She walked up the steps and went around the fence until she came to the gap in the fence, which with her Slayer strength was very easy to push through, and before long Buffy found herself wading amidst the rotting, tangled growths of the abandoned yard. Occasionally there was a worn stump of a tombstone that told her that there had once been burials in the field a very long time ago. The sheer bulk of the church was __uncomfortable __now that she was close to it, but she approached to try the main door at the front. It was securely locked, but that posed no problem to her as she kicked in the door and looked inside. Peering in, Buffy saw a heap of cobwebs and dust faintly litten by the sun's filtered rays. Debris, old barrels, and ruined boxes and furniture of numerous sorts met her eye, though covering over everything lay a shroud of dust that made everything seem ghostly._

_Acting almost in a trance, Buffy walked down to the dust-carpeted and debris-strewn concrete floor. The vaulted room was a vast one, and in a corner far in the back amid dense shadows, she saw a black archway evidently leading upstairs. She felt a weird sense of __compulsion __at actually being within the great spectral building, which caused her to cautiously scout about towards the archway. When she crossed the wide, cobweb-festooned space toward the arch, she was half-choked with the ever-present dust, as she began to climb the worn stone steps which rose into the darkness. After wandering aimlesssly she saw a padlocked door ahead, and a quick squeeze destroyed its ancient latch. When she opened the door, she found a room that was about twenty feet square and was barely lit by the windows on each side. The windows had been fitted with tight, __dense__ screens that were now largely rotted away. In the centre of the dust-covered floor was a weirdly angled stone pillar that was four feet high and two feet wide around, covered on each side with bizarre, crudely incised and wholly unreadable hieroglyphs. On this pillar rested a yellow metal box of __irregular __form; its hinged lid opened up, showing what looked beneath the knee-deep dust to be an egg-shaped object some four inches thick. Around the pillar in a rough circle were the trussed up bodies of Dawn, Harry and Ron tied to three high-backed Gothic chairs, while behind them, ranging along the dark-panelled walls, were several colossal images of crumbling, black-painted plaster, resembling more than anything else statues that looked like they came from Easter Island._

_Buffy then noticed odd bas-reliefs on the strange open box of yellowish metal. Approaching her friends she tried to untie Dawn, but found that her hands passed right through her sister as if she was an illusion. She then went to see if the box itself was a projector of some sort, but as she tried to clear the dust away with her hands she saw that the figurings were all monstrous; depicting entities which, though seemingly alive, resembled no known life-form ever that wasn't Demonoid. The four-inch sphere turned out to be a nearly black, red-tinted polyhedron with many irregular flat surfaces, making her think it was either a very remarkable crystal of some sort or a clever fake that was made out of stone. It did not touch the bottom of the box, as it was held up by a metal band around its centre, with seven oddly-designed supports that were attached to the inside of the box's inner wall near the top. This stone, once exposed, exerted upon Buffy an alarming __attraction__, as she could scarcely tear her eyes from it, and as she looked at its glistening surfaces she almost thought it was transparent, with half-formed worlds of wonder within. She stared deep into it, not noticing anything else as the rest of her world grew darker and darker until all she saw were distant worlds, even as she heard a flapping sound nearby her head and heard a heavy grunting that came closer and closer . . ._

With a loud crash, Buffy fell out of her bed with a solid thump, waking up Hermione and several of the other girls in her dorm.

"Buffy," asked Hermione worriedly, "are you alright?"

But Buffy didn't answer, as she jumped to her feet and charged out the door, bounding down the steps until she was out of the Gryffindor Tower. She didn't stop until she got all the way to Dumbledore's office, although she did have to take a detour around a skulking Umbridge so that she wouldn't be held up with useless questions. When she got to the office, she banged on the door for about ten minutes before Dumbledore answered.

"I think I know where they are," said Buffy as she was led inside before telling her dream.

"Good," said Dumbledore when she was finished, "you can head there tonight."

"No," replied Buffy angrily, "we have to go _now_. My sister could be dying right now . . . "

"Did you feel that she was in immediate danger?" asked Dumbledore shrewdly.

"No," said Buffy slowly as Faith and Mordred both came bursting in.

"I know where they are!" said Faith triumphantly. She then saw Buffy and her burst of pride deflated a bit.

"Of course," she added, "you already knew that as well. So, when do we saddle up to go?"

"After classes," said Dumbledore, "you can fly to the area that you saw in your dreams and scout it out. My guess is that it is protected by very powerful Magic, but it will be guarded against humans, not Vampires, so be sure to bring Spike along with you. I will be dealing with Umbridge, keeping her distracted until you get back."

"I'll go gather my troops," said Mordred as he hopped onto his broom, "after classes, so I'll be a bit late."

"For what?" asked Faith, "yah gonna give the bad guys a cup of water to drink?"

"Don't worry," replied Mordred, "I'll be around when the fun starts."

With they all went to their classes. During Charms the Slayers screwed up their Colour-changing Charms by making the mice they were supposed to be Charming turn into bugs, and during Double Transfiguration they both set their desks on fire by accident while Mordred gloatingly looked on. During both COMC and Herbology neither of the Slayers even tried to do their work, as they literally fought with the plants and animals they were assigned to take care of, and by the time final bell rang all three of them had already Summoned their brooms to them so they could get moving right away. The Slayers flew over to where Spike was, and while he used the cloak they gave him to keep from bursting into flames during the day, they flew off to where they saw the church in their dreams. It took them hours and hours of traveling, but they finally came upon a huge black spire that soared into the air like the top of a dunce cap, and they slowly floated down to around street level. The three of them crept up towards the church, but the Slayers found that an Imperturbable Charm that kept them going into the building held them both back. They were still able to look in through the windows, where they observed the Demons and Vampires attentively. The ones in the middle of the room that were listening to the Death Eaters appeared to be the leaders of their particular groups, as they were all decked out in armour and had impressive-looking weapons on them.

"Don't you see," the Death Eater almost whined in a nasally voice, "this is the perfect chance to pay back those stupid Muggle-loving idiots inside the Ministry! For centuries you have lived under the rules forced upon you by-"

At this the Vampires and Demons all burst into laughter. One of the Vampires was wearing armour bearing the symbol that pointed it out as the leader of its clan. The Scoobies had never encountered the clan before, but the armoured Vampire standing in the middle of the room didn't look like someone who'd be easily defeated.

"I did not realize humans could be so amusing," the head Vampire said with a menacing grin, "you seem to think that we care what a group of human Mages say and do. I do not know which rules you speak of, for I have never followed any except those of my own choosing."

"But the Ministry of Magic-" the Death Eater began.

"Is not something we find interesting," dismissed one of the head Demons, who then nodded an acknowledgement to the other Demon leaders as they all walked out the door, leaving the lesser Demons to mill about.

"I, for one, am happy with how things are," the head Vampire said after the head Demons left, "there is a reason we came to this world."

"When the Dark Lord gains power over both the Wizarding and Muggle worlds, he will remember all those who helped him," the Death Eater warned gravely. "Once he has gained control, he will become the most powerful Wizard of all time!"

"Your Dark Lord appears to have overrated his own importance," the head Vampire said, all humour gone from his expression. "There are things more powerful in this world than he, _especially_ now."

Having said that, the head Vampires then left as well, ignoring the Death Eater's protests as they left a group of minor Vampires and Demons to talk with the Death Eaters in case anything useful could be gained from each other.

"Who cares about the Ministry," bragged one of the Vampires, "when I kill the Slayer, it will be the greatest event since the Crucifixion, and I should know; _I_ was there."

"You were _there_?" Spike interrupted disdainfully as he walked out of the shadows, "Oh, please! If every baddie who said he was at the Crucifixion was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock. I was actually at Woodstock. _That_ was a weird gig. I fed off a flower person, and I spent the next six hours watching my hand move." Spike said as he looked at his hand in memory of the event, then he looked up to see the Demons, Vampires and Death Eaters all watching him while the Slayers hid in the shadows behind the Imperturbable Charm.

"He's not human," one of the Demons growled.

"Do you know him?" the Death Eater who'd been speaking at the beginning asked.

"No, I have never met him . . ." one of the other remaining Demons answered with narrowed eyes, as if trying to figure out who Spike reminded him of.

Spike lit his cigarette and put the lighter back into the pocket of his leather duster as he felt a slight tingle run over his skin, telling him he had just entered the boundaries of the Imperturbable Charm.

"Now tell me, why didn't I get an invite to this party?" Spike drawled and then took a drag of his cigarette.

"Who are you?" the Demon asked as Spike smirked.

"The name's Spike," he answered, "and as you can tell, I'm a Vamp like you."

"Perfect," said one of the Death Eaters, "maybe you can listen to reason and join us in our Holy War against the Muggle filth that pollutes our world?"

"Yeah well," answered Spike slowly as if speaking to a child, "I'm sure the old me would've just loved to run around jolly ol' England killing and torturing to my soulless heart's content. But I bat for the white hats now." He paused, as the Wizards appeared to still be confused.

"So really," he explained, "that sort of makes me your enemy." That they understood, as the Vampires in the back stiffened in recognition.

"So those rumours are true as well, are they?" one of them drawled. "You're like Judas, betraying your own kind."

"Yup, that's me, champion of the sodding people," Spike replied cheerfully.

"What!" the Demon exclaimed. "B-but you-you're a Vampire! You're a dark creature; that means you're evil."

"Clearly you missed the memo on ensouled Vampires," Spike snorted as he turned back to the other Vampires. They were both in fighting stances, one of them holding a wooden cricket bat and the other a rather large meat cleaver. However, for some reason, the Death Eater simply couldn't take the hint.

"What does having a soul have to do with Vampires?" whined the Death Eater as he backed up past the Charm, unaware of Faith standing behind him. "And shouldn't you be eating humans instead of helping them, or is it some sort of a new trend we haven't heard about? A new-age thing tha-aaah!"

There was a loud chopping sound and then silence as Faith chopped off the Death Eater's head with her sword.

"Do you have any idea who that was?" one of the Demons asked with a raspy voice. He slowly took his sword out as Spike did the same.

"Yah know," Spike replied dismissively, "I really couldn't give a toss, as his name wasn't that important to me."

"Yeah, well it was to us," said the Vampire holding the cricket bat. "I think you lot have overstayed your welcome."

"There was a welcome?" Spike asked as the Vampires both growled and then charged at him.

The Slayers immediately crouched down slightly, swords firmly in hand, their faces now deadly serious. There was a brief moment of eye contact, a set of curt nods, and the Slayers separated to catch the ones that tried to get away when they got outside of the Imperturbable Charm. While inside the Charm, Spike easily dodged the cricket bat being swung at him by the one Vampire. However, doing so brought him into close proximity of the other's meat cleaver, which he had to block with the flat of his sword before spinning around towards the ground, kicking at his opponents' legs. His opponents both jumped over his spinning leg and Spike used the same momentum to propel himself back up.

The Vampires he was fighting, it turned out, were both actually very good at using the weapons they had on them and had no trouble keeping up with Spike's sword. For some that would have been a real pain, but for Spike it was nice to go up against a strong opponent or more again.

Then Spike felt a presence behind him. He ducked in time to feel the air move as a fireball went sailing through the air where his head used to be. He kicked up at the Vampire and sent him staggering backwards several steps before he brought his sword up in time to block another attack from the meat cleaver as he looked around for the Wizard who sent out the fireball at him.

Meanwhile, in their cell, Ron made a discovery.

"What's that?" He asked as he pointed above his head.

"Looks like an air vent." Dawn replied.

She grabbed for a handhold and lifted herself up to take a look, and almost laughed at what she saw. Directly in front of the hole was a space that was big enough to hold all three of them and then a couple of tunnels led off, each wide enough for them to crawl though. _How cliché!_ She thought.

"Looks like this is our ticket out of here, guys!" Dawn said as she jumped back down, "there are ventilation tunnels up there that we could easily fit through."

"What's a ventilation tunnel?" Ron asked.

"You don't know?" Dawn asked as Ron shook his head.

"Then this must be a Muggle building." Dawn reasoned. "They're basically to help air circulate."

"So we can follow them and they'll lead us out?" Harry asked as Ron nodded.

"Yup," replied Dawn happily, "trust me."

Back at the battle, things were getting more fun as some of the Demons had left the Imperturbable Charm in order to escape Spike, only to run into the Slayers. Faith especially had missed the action, as lately it seemed that her Slayer skills weren't getting properly used. However, this small battle was what she needed. The dark-haired Slayer twirled the sword from her left hand, and got into a fighting stance.

Five Demons ran to the Slayer. One fell to the ground thanks to a leg sweep from Faith, causing Faith to grin as she straddled the fallen Demon before she took her sword and drove it into the chest captivity.

"I always liked the top." She quipped as she pulled out her sword and quickly decapitated another one, before two other Demons grabbed hold of her. One grabbed her right arm, and the other grabbed the left, and together they tried to pull the arms out of the sockets like if she was a wishbone, and they were trying to get the better half.

"Easy boys," Faith said with a smirk, "Don't want to overstrain yourselves. Here, let me help you unwind." She then managed to curl up her arms, and then opened them up really fast, sending the Demons spinning. Buffy then jumped kicked a still spinning Demon, and knocked it to the ground. She picked it up by the wrists and flung it to the other one that was spinning, causing the two to crash together a few feet away from her. The blond warrior took out her two daggers, and threw them at the Demons, imbedding the sharp ends into the Demons bumpy foreheads.

Detecting Demons approaching from behind her, Faith threw her own daggers over her shoulders, getting a squelching noise from behind that assured her that her weapons hit directly in their abdomens. Then she grabbed her sword and decapitated them. Their heads rolled off their shoulders and crashed into each other.

"I knew these guys would fall head over heels for me." Faith quipped while Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Hey!" Faith said defensively. "_My_ kill, _my_ wordplay."

Inside the Charmed area, Spike finally managed to land a good kick that sent the Meat Cleaver Vampire sailing through the air and knocking the Wizards off their feet. Then he turned to the Vamp batter just in time to block the bat with his left arm before it could bash his face inside out.

Behind him he heard the telltale clang of metal on metal, which meant that Buffy and Faith had finally taken out their swords and were attacking the Demons. Spike mentally gave the Demons about two minutes as he jabbed forward with his sword and felt it slide nicely into dead flesh as his opponent howled in pain. Spike let go of the sword and punched him, causing the Vampire to drop his bat and fall backwards onto the concrete ground. Spike then dashed over to the fallen Vampire and braced his foot against his chest as he pulled the sword out. The Vampire swiped at him with a weak punch, but Spike neatly jumped out of the way as the Vampire staggered to his feet where Spike chopped his head off, turning him into dust.

The bleached-blond Vampire didn't wait to watch the other Vamp's dust float to the ground, as he swung around to look for the Meat Cleaver-wielder. Spike saw him, but noticed that he wasn't going anywhere, as Faith held him tightly by the scruff of the neck when he tried to escape. Spike looked around for the Death Eaters, but they were gone. One Demon's body laid several metres away; blood seeped through large gashes in its torso. The head lay a bit farther.

"Now, now pet, we wouldn't want to get hasty," Spike said to Faith as she placed her sword against the struggling Vampire's neck. Then he addressed the Vampire. "You sing nice and we _may_ let you go. But if we don't like your song . . ."

He let the threat dangle, as after all, with Faith's sword two centimetres from his throat, it didn't take a genius to figure out what was at stake.

"Umm, yeah, sure, whatever you want to know," the Vampire quickly agreed as Spike smirked, "but if you harm me you won't ever find them."

"If I tear out your tongue," Faith said as Buffy came up beside her while holding her own sword, "then you shall be able to at least point where Dawn, Harry, and Ron are."

"What she said," Buffy added, "only with emphasis on the big, sharp, meat cleaver in my hand." She held up the meat cleaver she had grabbed and made a show of examining it before looking the captive Vampire in the eye. "Do you have any idea how many times you can chop and stab a person before they actually bleed to death? My guess is that it would take a Vampire a lot longer to die, as we can all keep on chopping and stabbing until there's nothing left."

As the captured Vamp was spilling his guts figuratively (before Spike and the two Slayers helped him spill them literally), Dawn, Ron and Harry were having a most interesting conversation to help pass the time as they crawled through the vents of the church.

"I can't believe that we're actually escaping through an air vent," Dawn said almost dejectedly, "guys, promise me if you ever become an evil overlord your vents will be too small to crawl through?"

"Err," Harry said casting Ron a confused look, "okay." Ron mouthed back 'this girl is weird'.

"Oh and never put more than one captive in the same room," added Dawn absentmindedly, "and if you employ advisers then could you at least _occasionally_ listen to their advice?"

"Sure." Ron said as he decided to humour her while they crawled onwards.

"And never make an animated computer that's smarter than you are, and never turn into a snake, as it doesn't help. Or if you capture someone, make sure you take their key-stealing, rope-untying pet and put it a long way away from them, like in another dimension. Or if you try to poison your enemy at dinner and then leave the table, for the love of the Gods, just order new drinks instead of trying to decide whether or not to swap with him. And if you're involved in a fight to the death, make sure you go to the bathroom before you start . . ."

Harry looked back at Ron wearily. This was going to be a long crawl.

"Also, never order your trusted Lieutenant to kill the infant who is destined to overthrow you," said Dawn, "as you should do it yourself, with your own bare hands."

"Ok," said Harry exasperatedly, "if you were Voldemort and you were standing at my crib, what would have _you_ done?" Dawn sighed dramatically before answering.

"If I was Voldemort," said Dawn, "I would have used a Hadoken from 8-Bit Theatre and blown all of England away. Because the Hadoken uses Love as it's main source of power, your mom's protection spell would have been the thing powering it to kill you, therefore using your very shield to take you out."

"What's a Hadoken?" asked Ron as they finally came to an exit that led outside, "and what's 8-Bit Theatre?"

But before she could answer as they dropped to the ground, several cloaked figures materialized out of the darkness. The creatures all began talking in an odd form of Parselmouth that Harry and Dawn only just understand as their hissing voices seemed to slither directly into Dawn and Harry's minds.

"_So,"_ said the figures in Parselmouth, "_you seek to evade us before we bring our God to extract the power of the Key from you?"_

The cloaked figures then shed their cloaks and drew several sharp Katana blades, allowing the three students to see what they were up against. If it weren't for the pain from his scar, Harry might have recoiled in horror alongside Dawn and Ron. The creatures were flexible and twisting, with glittering pupil-less eyes set on hairless heads above a mass of tentacles where their faces should have been. In the dark, it was hard to tell what colour they actually were, and Harry wasn't sure he really wanted to know.

"_Bah,"_ the creature said in disgust, "_we shall cut the knowledge from you!"_

As Harry fumbled for his wand and the creatures circled to attack, the air was split with a series of resounding cracks. Wizards in KKK-style black cloaks and silvery masks appeared, intermixed with the creatures surrounding the three students.

"Potter! We have you n-" one of the Death Eaters began before getting a good look at one of the creatures. "What in Merlin's name are you?"

"_It's a trap!" _Hissed one of the creatures in warning. "_ATTACK!"_

Because of the absolute chaos of the situation, everything seemed to slow down for the three students. The creatures' Katana blades flashed toward the Death Eaters, as the Death Eaters in turn pointed their wands and shouted Curses. Dawn tackled both Ron and Harry from behind, knocking them all flat on the ground as they watched Curses fly through the space they had been occupying. Within the minute most of the combatants went down fast, knocked out or worse. Before the three students looked up there were already several body parts lying around that they preferred not to think about. The survivors had backed off from each other, watching each other warily as more Apparition cracks echoing around them signalled the arrival of more Death Eaters. Behind the tentacle-faced creatures, a column of fire sprang up out of the ground from which stepped more of their kind.

"Um, it looks like they've both called reinforcements," Harry whispered to the others as they backed away, "perhaps now is a good time to get away?"

Dawn showed her agreement by helping the boys slink away, finding areas to hide in, including one time they had to use the fallen corpse of one of the tentacle-faced creatures as a hiding spot. Since they were covered in gore, they were easy to miss, allowing them all to sneak away as the Death Eaters and creatures all fought one another. Harry led the way, and was almost around a corner when he ran into a sword-carrying Buffy.

"GAH!" he shouted, startled.

"Where's Dawn?" was the first thing she asked, before looking him over. "Are you hurt?"

"Only my pride," Harry grumbled, calming down as the other two followed. He looked back the way he had come. "I'm surprised none of those guys followed us."

"Yeah well," replied Buffy as she shepherded them back towards the Castle area, "thank God for small favours. Where the Hell is Mordred?"

"Don't know B," replied Faith, "he said he'd be around when the fun st-"

But before she could finish her sentence, they saw a large boulder fall from an extremely great height before crashing into the area where the Death Eaters and monsters were fighting. They looked up in time to see Mordred fly down towards them on his broomstick.

"Sorry I'm late," he said chidingly, "did I miss anything?"

The group collectively rolled their eyes as they all headed back to the Castle, where Ron, Harry and Dawn dropped off their goop-covered clothes into the wash where it mixed in with the water. Even though they wondered what that stuff was, they forgot all about it when Umbridge gave both Harry and Ron detentions for skipping class for the rest of the week, while Dawn only had to get a stern lecture.

On the Wednesday, classes resumed as normal, with Harry and Ron getting their missed notes (and a stern lecture) from Hermione while Dawn got her notes from Mordred.

"Looks like Mordred is in the lead for note-taking," teased Faith as Dawn copied his notes onto her own, "what's it feel like being a slacker?"

"The same," replied Dawn absentmindedly, "I just wonder what those monsters wanted me for? And what type of God do they worship, as they looked all Cthulhu-y with their squid-faces."

"Doesn't matter," replied Faith, "they're all dead now, so they can speak with their God all they want to now."

During classes the goop from Dawn, Ron and Harry's clothes oozed through the cracks in the Castle, gathering shadows as it went along. By the time dinner was about to start, it had gathered enough form to become a dark ball of shadow that sprouted wings and blew out the candles nearby it, covering an entire section of the castle in darkness and a feeling of dread.

As Harry and his friends left the Great Hall after dinner, they came across a section of the corridors that was cold and dark, as if a group of Dementors had decided to have a spur-of-the-moment party there. About a dozen students huddled in a corner that included Ron and Hermione as well as several other members of the DA.

"What's going on?" Harry asked as he trotted up.

"There's some _thing_ out there," Ron replied. "It's been attacking everyone left and right, roaring…"

A hissing roar from the cold, darkened corridors interrupted him.

"_BRING ME THE KEY AND I WILL SPARE YOUR WORTHLESS LIVES!" _it roared in Parselmouth.

"…that," Ron concluded.

"Key?" Harry asked confusedly, not noticing the flash of worry in Dawn's eyes.

"We don't know what it wants," Hermione said grimly. "It's already attacked several, teachers and students alike. And it seems to be resistant to some spells too."

Harry leaned over to take a quick peek around the corner. There in the middle of the corridors, almost hidden by all the darkness around it, was the strangest creature he had ever seen and being a Wizard, that was saying something. It was a globular sack of black flesh ten feet in diameter hovering above the cobblestones supported by huge bat-like wings. Its face was dominated by a gigantic, burning tri-lobed eye with a drooling mouth filled with scraggly, rotting teeth under it. Multiple small tentacles protruded from the rest of it, each of them covered in squid-like suckers. On the top of its 'head' was a crown of yellow horns that each stood a foot in length. About it was a horrible smell that caused all the people that were nearby it to drop to their knees and clutch at their noses as if in great pain, and there was a physical feeling of dread pulsing from it with every raspy breath it took.

When it looked in Harry's direction, Harry had to immediately jump back to avoid a blast that reduced a chunk of wall behind him into bits and pieces.

"What _is_ that thing?" Harry asked, shaken.

"I don't know," Hermione replied as she shook her head in frustration, "I don't recall ever seeing _anything_ like that in any of the books we have." Harry then spotted Luna searching among the rest of the huddled students. He knew that if it wasn't in any of Hermione's books, maybe it was one of things Luna Lovegood believed in that most everyone discounted as myth.

"Luna?" Harry asked as he waddled over in a crouch towards her, "do you know what that thing is?"

"It's the Haunter of the Dark." Luna said brightly before she found Collin Creevey. "This is _wonderful_, I'm sure daddy's paper would make the front page with an exclusive picture of it."

Creevey fumbled with his camera, his eyes virtually lighting up with Galleons.

"So we have no idea what it is?" Harry sighed, while Collin groped in his bag for his camera.

"I saw it in a book once," Dawn added, a bit embarrassed at the attention.

"How do you know that?" Hermione demanded, as she was a bit put out that there was some book Dawn knew of that she herself hadn't read. But instead of beaming with pride, Dawn looked even more embarrassed.

"My friend Andrew from home," she mumbled, "he played Dungeons and Dragons type games. I saw the Haunter of the Dark, which is also known as the Three Lobed Burning Eye, in one of his role-playing games called the 'Call of Cthulhu'."

"What!" Hermione squawked huffily. "Are you saying that creature came from a Muggle _role playing game_?"

"A what?" Ron asked, while several other Wizard-born kids also gave confused looks.

"Never mind that," Harry interrupted before Hermione could give a lecture (or a rant) on the subject, "Dawn, how do we stop it?"

"Hit it in the eye," Dawn replied. "Also, I remember that it hates light and-" Dawn trailed off, looking at something behind Harry before diving behind a wall.

In fact, everyone was looking at something that was behind Harry, causing a sensation of his stomach doing back flips before sinking into his toes as Harry turned around to find the Haunter of the Dark hovering just behind him. His head was just about level with the monster's mouth, not a comfortable place to be.

"_WHERE IS THE KEY_!" the monster bellowed in Harry's face, its tri-lobed Eye trained directly on Harry, its breath stinking of rotting flesh long dead.

As Harry whipped out his wand, everything seemed to slow down. He could actually see the monster's tri-eye start to glow as they cast whatever spells it had. Even as he brought his wand to bear and opened his mouth to speak, Harry knew the Haunter was going to cast first.

But before anything could happen, there was a sudden flash of a camera, blinding the monster temporarily. The light from Collin's camera was at point blank range, and was bright enough and such a complete surprise that it caused the Haunter to flinch and squeeze its tri-eye shut for a moment while wisps of smoke poured from its lids. Curses in the middle of being cast were stopped as the creature flapped its wings to bring back the darkness.

Harry, his back to Collin, was not so affected. The Haunter closed its big tri-eye for only an instant. As the massive lids peeled back open, Harry cast the first spell he could think of, his Patronus Charm, straight at it. Harry was gambling that Dawn was correct and that the Haunter was like Dragons; although resistant to magic, the eyes of a Dragon were their weak spots. He was also gambling that because it was a creature of darkness like the Dementors, that it would be hurt by the same spells. Since the Haunter took up most of the space in the corridor and had one very large eye, it made such a perfect target that it would have been impossible to miss.

Apparently, all of Harry's friends agreed with him, as they followed Harry's own spell with a dozen other Light-based Charms, all of which covered the beast in blinding light. The Haunter did not last long after that, leaving only a smoking patch where it once floated. When they all got there, the Professors scolded them for putting their lives in danger, the Aurors were miffed that a bunch of school children had done what they could not (although they'd never admit that), and (after Luna's dad published the photo in the Quibbler) the average Mages on the street took this as further proof that the Boy Who Lived was the Wizarding World's saviour. But before that happened, the students all had to get to their Astronomy class while Harry had to serve out another two week's worth of detentions due to missing class and for letting in the Haunter of the Dark in as (what Umbridge claimed) was a trick to make the other students believe in his crazy theories. By Friday, already some were questioning what had happened, as they didn't believe in Lovecraftian horrors anymore than they believed in Heliopaths.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32: Romance is Dead (or Maybe We just Wish it Was)**

The next week began with a flurry of activity, as all the students were getting ready for the Valentine's weekend. Girls primped and preened while the boys looked on worriedly, trying to find the right gifts for the girls that they liked. Everyone was frantic except for the Gryffindor Quidditch players (who had practice all day long then), and the Scoobies, who had taken to heckling the other students maliciously. Mordred had taken to shooting small arrows from his wands into other students, causing screams of pain and agony from students of all Houses before McGonagall caught him during Monday's dinner.

"What?" Mordred asked McGonagall as she hauled him by the collar along the halls; "I thought we were _supposed_ to shoot arrows at people on Valentine's!" That brought up McGonagall a bit short, causing her to pause while she looked at him in surprise.

"You haven't ever heard of Valentine's Day?" she asked incredulously.

"Yeah I have," answered Mordred, "it's a day where you go about shooting people with arrows so that it helps them with their love life. I was doing everyone a favour."

"What about the multiple ones you shot into both Malfoy and Ron Weasley?" she asked with a lifted eyebrow of disbelief as the bleeding, groaning forms of both students were rushed past them into the hospital wing while leaving a pair of trails of blood on the ground.

"Well I figured," said Mordred with a shrug, "with faces like theirs, they need all the help they can get."

Needless to say, he still wound up in detention that night, categorizing past detention records and costing his House about fifty points. Later on that night during Patrolling though, Buffy and Faith found a somewhat excited Mordred running after them with several huge lists.

"What are _you_ so happy about?" asked Faith as Mordred held out his lists. "Did you find more potions to mix?"

"No," said Mordred, "I was categorizing the detention boxes and I came upon some really old ones. Guess whose names are on it?"

The two Slayers looked over the lists briefly, reading the names.

"Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall," they read aloud until they got to a name they could not believe was on the list, "Albus Dumbledore?"

"Yeah," crowed Mordred, "look how long _his_ list was by itself."

The two girls stared as Dumbledore's detention list unrolled from Mordred's hands and dropped to their feet, where it rolled several feet away from them as Mordred read aloud some of the things Dumbledore had gotten into trouble for.

"Setting fire to his drapes," said Mordred, "getting drunk one night by 'accident' and singing quite terribly, giving unauthorized speeches to fellow classmates, skipping all of his Divination classes one year only to pass the final exam somehow, mixing up Professor Binns notes and recreating his own form of History, arguing for the inclusion of Muggle studies when it was almost cancelled, accidentally-on-purpose Vanishing the clothes of a girl he was trying to ask out, fighting his brother Aberforth, bringing Muggles into the school, stealing a Time Turner (although he returned it right away or so he says), being caught after curfew at least once a week every year for his first three years at Hogwarts, singing the Guy Fawkes song while using Transfigured statues that looked like the then-Ministry officials to play out the parts, flashing some girls during Fifth Year and inviting them to try a new form of spell with his 'magic wand', . . . "

"And don't forget," said Dumbledore from behind them, "to read about the time I and a few other students spiked a potion so that my our Professors all tap-danced all night long as well."

The students looked on in surprise as Dumbledore came out from behind a tree, making almost no sound as he walked towards them. They relaxed a bit as they remembered that even though two of them were Slayers and one of them part Demon, Dumbledore was the most powerful Wizard of the time and could very easily sneak up on people who were otherwise distracted, even Slayers.

"Hey Headmaster," asked Mordred suddenly, "if owl's always know where to deliver, why not send an owl with a spell or better yet, a bomb, to Voldemort? It's certainly take care of him in an easier fashion than what we've been doing so far, and it's only cost the life of a single owl. Or at least we could just send owls with insulting notes to him, see if he snaps and reveals himself or something?"

"Interesting idea," replied Dumbledore as he approached them, "however, owls can only find the people that they are attached to, so while Hedwig could find Harry were he to be on the other end of the Earth, she couldn't find Voldemort if the Dark Lord didn't want to be found. Although during the First War, the Ministry did try that approach for awhile, and that is part of the reason why I came here to see you three." Dumbledore waited as the three drew in close before he spoke.

"The Ministry," Dumbledore said, "is sending an evaluator tomorrow to help out the High Inquisitor. He is currently only here to observe due to the year being half over as well as the amount of 'unwanted publicity' the school has had recently, but if he finds out that certain members of the Slytherin House were friendly towards the students that support me, then they might decide that any off-shoot groups without said members would be more beneficial to them. They will also be looking into your Patrolling, as Umbridge has asked the Ministry to look into any religions that deal with Patrolling. So, for this week until the evaluator leaves satisfied, you will have to forgo Patrolling."

"Do you know who the evaluator is?" asked Faith while cracking her knuckles.

"Yes," replied Dumbledore with a nod of his head, "I do, but I would rather you see him yourselves along with the rest of the school when he gets introduced during breakfast. I have already told Dawn about this, and I'm sure she's sent one of your pet snakes to Harry to tell him and his friends as well despite my asking her not to."

"Thanks for the input," said Buffy before turning to the others, "I guess this is the last night of Patrolling for awhile, so we should make the most of it while we can."

"Try the sewer areas of the surrounding Muggle villages," suggested Dumbledore, "they might have a few stragglers for you to Slay."

"Thanks," said Mordred, "I guess we've been doing a very good job since most if not all of the monster infestations have died down so far."

"You've driven them back," replied Dumbledore, "but they are still there, and eventually they will mount up a larger force to assault our way of life. Eventually, if it already hasn't happened, they will team up with Voldemort's Death Eaters, providing the Dark Lord with an even larger army than he had during the First War."

"So we shouldn't get too cocky," supplied Buffy as they mounted up, "ok then, let's get to work."

The three students flew off to the nearest Muggle village, and when no Muggles were looking they went into the sewers to search out any Demonic activity. After two hours of searching, they came across a small group of Vampires that had just Sired some unfortunate Muggles in an attempt to get back their dwindling numbers. The Slayers attacked them, staking and beheading Vamps until the remaining two tried to run away. Mordred chose that time to help out, using a pair of fireballs to roast their legs out from under them without dusting them. Buffy and Faith then tortured the Vamps until they got the locations of the other Vampire nests, and then staking the Vamps when they were of no further use. Due to the towns' small size, the Slayers and Mordred split up and went to each of the nests alone, which they each attacked using the Sunshine spell before going after any escapees with their stakes (Mordred just blasted them with fireballs). By the time they got back to the Castle, the Slayers were exhausted, but Mordred went around the Castle poking at some statues and armour suits while Buffy and Faith went to their separate dorms.

On the Tuesday, Buffy came down before breakfast to find her House's Common Room filled with expectant students. They all looked at her, and only when she saw Harry did she remember about what Dumbledore told her last night.

"Ok folks," she said in her best calming voice, "today is the day that the Ministry sends an extra toady to put their noses in our business. What we have to do is not agitate whoever it is, as doing so may just add more rules and regulations from Umbridge."

"Do you know who it is?" asked Neville worriedly while he groped about for his toad Trevor. Buffy shook her head.

"No," she replied, "all I know is that it's a guy, and that he's here to observe things for until he leaves, which could mean either days or weeks."

"I guess that means we'll have to put off the DA meetings," whispered Ron with a wince to Harry, as Hermione nodded unconsciously in consent while holding one of Ron's still taped up arms.

"Don't worry," said Harry reassuringly, "we'll start them up again as soon as this new joker is gone."

The students all went to the Great Hall for breakfast, where they found a beaming Umbridge at the head table while a Ministry member beside her had his nose deep in a book, obscuring his face from view of the Gryffindors and Slytherins who were warned about him (via Dawn and Faith). When he looked up to push his horn-rimmed glasses back onto his face, Ron and the Weasley twins made sounds of muffled outrage as they spotted their elder brother Percy looking over the school as if he were a lord and they his vassals. Before the students could begin eating, Umbridge interrupted them all with her fake coughing before launching into one of her speeches.

"Hem hem," said Umbridge, "this week we have a most honoured guest from the Ministry here to observe how well the school is doing now that the school year is half over. As long as he is here I expect you to treat him with the same respect as you would any of our beloved Ministry officials, whom without there would be lawlessness and panic instead of order and justice. Please give a warm welcome to Percy Weasley."

This announcement was met with only a few clapping people from Hufflepuff, as the Gryffindors refused to cheer for him due to his Ministry support (despite him being a former Gryffindor) and the Slytherins refused to cheer for him because he was a Weasley (despite his Ministry support) and the Ravenclaws had all waited to watch what would happen before they made any commitment at all. When the Fifth Year Gryffindors and Slytherins went to Charms class, Percy trailed along after them, tripping over his robes while trying to keep a dignified pace with them all. During the class he spent his time making several notes, irritating his brother Ron to no end.

"Look what that git is up to," whispered Ron to Harry as Percy conferred with Professor Flitwick, "only a few years ago he was kissing every Professor's butt, now he's acting like they're scum in comparison to him. His nose is so far up in the air it's a wonder that a Dragon hasn't flown into it."

Harry had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing out loud, and when he looked over at Percy he had to take off his glasses and feign cleaning them so that the others couldn't see that his eyes were watering due to laughter.

"Remember what I told you guys," said Buffy as Hermione elbowed them both, "don't antagonize him, even if he deserves it. We don't want any more trouble from the Ministry."

When they all exited the class, Percy still trailed after them as they took their first break, but before they got past the first hallway there was a deep chanting coming from some of the statues.

"**Remember, remember the fifth of November**," came the voices from the stuatues around them, "**The gunpowder, treason and plot. I see of no reason why gunpowder treason should ever be forgot.**"

The students looked around in wonder as Percy's eyes went wide in fear, and he began taking huge breathes of air to calm himself down. Mordred brushed past Buffy and Ron, whispering into their ears as he gave them some items while Percy was distracted.

"Here," he said to Buffy, "some 'amnesia dust' I made up so that he'd forget all about this. Remember to wash off his face with the water I gave you Ron, otherwise he'll wonder why there's stuff on his face.

"**Guy Fawkes, Guy, 'twas his intent**," continued the statues, "**To blow up the King and the Parliament.**

**Three score barrels of powder below, To prove old England's overthrow.**"

By now, Percy was in full panic mode, yelling at the students around him to stop this joke.

"**By God's providence he was catch'd**," the satues all chanted, "**With a dark lantern and burning match**."

"This is not funny," said a fearful and angry Percy, "not funny in the least. The Ministry will hear about this in my -"

"**Holloa boys, holloa boys, make the bells ring**." Interrupted the statues, "**Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King! Hip hip hoorah! Hip hip hoorah hoorah!**"

The students, thinking this was a new cheering Charm, all cheered along with it, causing Percy to become even angrier with them.

"**A penny loaf to feed the Pope**," continued the statues as Buffy took the bag full of Mordred's amnesia dust out and slowly walked towards Percy, "**A farthing o' cheese to choke him**."

Buffy launched the dust into Percy's face, causing him to scream in pain as the black dust went into his eyes and mouth.

"That wasn't amnesia dust," said Hermione as she looked on in horror, "that was gunpowder."

"**A pint of beer to rinse it down**," continued the statues as Ron rushed over and doused the yelling Percy with his contents before Hermione could stop him. "**A faggot of sticks to burn him**."

The smell of the liquid Ron had doused his elder brother with caused the students to gag, as Buffy and Hermione each realized that Mordred had given Ron kerosine instead of water. Before any of them could act, Mordred flicked out one of his wands and caused a spark from one of the nearby torches to fly through the air.

"**Burn him in a tub of tar!**" The statues chanted as the spark lit on poor Percy's head.

"**Burn him like a blazing star!**" Percy's head of red hair caught first, burning wickedly as his cries of pain turned into screams of anguish.

"**Burn his body from his head!**" Was heard throughout the Castle as Percy, now engulfed in flames, ran screaming around the halls, parting the students like Moses through the Sea of Reeds as they looked on him in shock as he bounced off of the walls before falling down.

"**Then we'll say ol' Pope is dead!**" Was the ominous sounding chant as Percy thrashed about like a drowning fish in the air while his flesh roasted off of his body before Madam Pomfrey came rushing over with a spell that stopped the flames.

"**Hip hip hoorah!**" cheered the statues as Pomfrey rushed the burnt boy towards her hospital wing as the students all stood in shock, "**Hip hip hoorah hoorah!**"

Hermione then went to go yell at Mordred, but he had left and gone to Double Transfiguration class, and it was only when lunch came around that Hermione was able to get to Mordred.

"How dare you," she said as she strode uncaringly towards the Slytherin table, "you could have seriously injured Percy with that stunt!"

"You have no proof I did it," said Mordred as the rest of the school looked on, getting ready for a fight, "as a matter of fact, wasn't it Buffy and Percy's own brother Ron who threw that stuff into Percy's face?"

The rest of the school gasped as Hermione pulled out her wand, but before she could cast any spells on Mordred, Buffy grabbed her arm and pulled her back to the Gryffindor table. Although Hermione lost her house twenty points for threatening Mordred, she at least didn't have a detention like Buffy and Ron did (one week of writing "I will not attack Ministry officials" that carved into their hands). During Patrolling that night, Buffy tried looking for Mordred, but since he didn't show she was left with screaming out her rage at Faith, who quite uncharacteristically took the abuse in stride even after they had pummelled and killed several Demons.

"Hey B," said Faith after they were both done Slaying, "I know that that detention stuff with cutting into your own hand hurts, but at least Mordy got rid of the goon the Ministry tried to saddle us with. As for Percy, it was just as well that he was fired," Faith then paused before adding, "Oh, I'm sorry, he was _set_ on fire. My bad."

"That will only make the Ministry more focused on us now!" said Buffy angrily.

"The Ministry was focused on Hogwarts already," said Faith, "a little burnt idiot isn't going to change anything really. And besides, what will they do? I'll tell you what they'll do; they'll create the Inquisitorial Squad earlier, and with the Triumvirate as the leaders of that, we'll be able to take over the school a whole lot sooner as well. The Ministry will only think it's in control, when in reality it will be way out of their hands."

"Maybe," said Buffy, "but they still shouldn't have burned Percy like that. He could have been killed that way."

On the Wednesday however, the girls of Hogwarts all got on the Slayer's nerves with their constant ranting about Valentine's Day and such. Although Buffy didn't have it too bad, Faith had to put up with the constant whining from Millicent, Pansy and Daphne.

"Do you think I should grow my hair long," asked Pansy in a wheedling voice during the first break before Transfiguration, "or keep it short? I normally wouldn't ask Mudbloods like you but I need some advice from someone new so-"

"I think you should grow it out long," interrupted Faith through gritted teeth, "so that I can tear it out and make a noose to hang you with if you don't stop buggin' me."

During lunch, Faith and Dawn both had to put up with Daphne's bragging about all the potential suitors she had.

"I bet your cousin Mordred is wondering if I'll go out with him," she bragged to them both as Mordred wolfed down his food unconcernedly, "just about all the boys here want to date me. Even Draco wants me, although he may or may not be going with Pansy. I'm the best looking girl here, and I can't imagine what it would be like being ugly like you two."

"How about I rip off your face and tack it to a wall," suggested Faith as Dawn got between the two girls before a fight broke out, "that way you'd know what it's like to be ugly?"

The final straw for Faith came on their way up to the Astronomy Tower, as Millicent was waiting for them on the stairs as they were going up for their Astronomy class.

"Does this sweater make me look fat?" Asked Millicent as she held up Faith from going up the stairs.

"No," Faith replied, "the fact that you're _fat_ makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look . . . green."

"You're such a loser." Millicent said while continuing to hold up Faith.

"Hey, words can hurt," Faith said while holding up her fist to Millicent's face, "like a fist."

"Faith," yelled Dawn, as Faith was about to punch out Millicent, "no fighting inbreds."

Faith laughed as Millicent seethed in anger, and was about to brush past Millicent when the the larger girl pulled her wand out in order to Jinx Faith. Faith reacted by grabbing Millicent's arm and flipping her over, sending her crashing through the window and flying towards the statues below. Thinking quickly, Dawn pointed her wand and Transfigured the statue into a mattress, breathing a sigh of relief as Mordred pointed his wand to help out. However, her relief was short lived as Mordred's plans of saving Millicent differed from Dawn's

"Hey _Bitch_!" Mordred yelled at the falling girl, "I saved something for yah!" Mordred then pointed his wand at the mattress Dawn had made and Transfigured it into a spiked metal bed that was wrapped in barbwire.

"Hell yeah!" He yelled as she crashed into it, causing it to fold up like a Venus flytrap. "Three points, yah dirty _whore_!"

"Why did you do that?" Dawn asked in a shocked voice as blood gushed out of the contraption like a tomato being squeezed in a vice.

"So she doesn't ask me out for Valentine's Day." Mordred answered nonchalantly as Faith dropped to her knees laughing, not even noticing the other students as they passed on by.

"She wasn't _going_ to anyways." Dawn responded vehemently.

"So," replied Mordred, "I couldn't take the chance."

"And on the day the words 'flimsy excuse' were redefined," Faith chuckled as Millicent's wails of pain and agony reached up to them, "we stood in awe and watched."

"Wow," said Mordred as he looked down at Millicent as other students rushed to get Madam Pomfrey, "she certainly has a lot of blood in her. But not as much blood as she had about five minutes ago, of course."

"Why didn't you want her asking you out?" asked Dawn, "it's not like any other girls will go out with you after all the stuff you've pulled this year?"

"I have issues about her getting close to me," replied Mordred, "as I fear catching The Clap off of her. Although The Clap is not technically an airborne virus, I can't help but think that in highly concentrated doses," Mordred paused for over-dramatic emphasis, _"_it _could_ be."

"Good grief," replied Dawn, "I had no idea the 'Dumb Blond' stereotype affected Wizards as well."

This infraction ended up earning Faith a detention, so Mordred was not alone now during his detentions in reorganizing lists. The only saving grace was that the detentions didn't cut into the Patrolling, so the three students could still keep the school safe despite having to be punished for having fun.

On the Thursday, Dawn found Mordred setting up booths after his final class in the main hall. She saw a basket full of chocolates in the shape of Valentine hearts, each of them beating like it was real. Above them was a sign saying 'one Galleon per Truelove Chocolate – guaranteed to loosen the inhibitions of even the frostiest of babes '.

"What's inside these chocolates you're giving out?" Dawn asked curiously. Faith grabbed one up and chewed on it before spitting it out in disgust while gagging.

"I call them truelove chocolates," replied Mordred as Faith gagged and spat, "all the protein, vitamins and carbs of your grandma's best turkey dinner, plus eighty percent alcohol and ten percent narcotics."

"It's horrific." Choked Faith as the other students looked on.

"Worked for the Egyptians," said Mordred, "they can work here too."

Ten minutes after that, Professor McGonagall gave Mordred another detention, took some more points off of Slytherin, and confiscated all of Mordred's chocolates. Instead of being depressed, Mordred flipped over the sign, revealing the words 'Kissing booth – five Galleons per kiss' on it. It turned out to be an even more dismal failure, however.

"Hey Harry," said Hermione as the Golden Trio walked by the Kissing booth, "spare me three Galleons?"

"You're not honestly thinking of kissing that slimy git," asked Ron incredulously, "are you?"

Hermione shrugged as she took her money to Mordred and handed it to him. They both puckered up and closed their eyes, and as Mordred leaned forward for a kiss Hermione reared back her right arm and punched Mordred dead in the face, knocking him on his back while the booth collapsed onto him.

"Worth every penny," said Hermione as Mordred tried to untangle himself from the fallen booth as the other students all laughed at him, "thanks Harry."

During dinner that night, Hermione, Ginny and Daphne all got singing letters from Mordred. When Hermione opened hers it popped open like a Howler, but instead of screaming a song came out of it instead.

"Roses are red," it went, "Lettuce is green. I like your legs and everything in between."

This got a laugh from some of the students (who had been expecting worse) and a glare of rage from Hermione as Mordred waved from his table. Ginny then took the time to uncouple from her boyfriend at the Ravenclaw table to read her note.

"Roses are red," it sang, "Disco is dead. You'll look so much better, completely nude in my bed."

This got laughter from some of the male Slytherins while Ginny howled in outrage and her boyfriend Michael glared in fury at Mordred.

Beaming proudly, Daphne opened up her letter, expecting to get compliments. Instead, she just got a quick poem that was just as insulting (if not more so) as the others.

"Roses are red," it began, "Violets are blue. You'd look much better with a sword rammed through you."

Naturally, it got shrieks of outrage from her, and Mordred had to jump rather high in the air in order to avoid the Jinxes she threw at him as he ran out of the Great Hall.

On the day before Valentine's Day, the students were in an even greater frenzy. For some, it was worse than waiting for their exams. For others (like the Triumvirate) it was a perfect time to mock and insult their fellow classmates since they had no classes of their own.

"Please tell me you're joking." Said Faith when one of the boys mumbled something about going on a date on Valentine's Day. She didn't even wait for his answer, as she burst out laughing maliciously and walking away from the sputtering boy.

Dawn wasn't much better, as she had taken a page out of Mordred's book and began taunting the other students in poetic form.

"Harry, Harry, quite contrary," she sang gleefully as Harry passed by in the hall, "how does your garden grow? Pubic hairs and wanton stares, making the hormones flow!" She burst out laughing as Harry walked on by with Ron and Hermione in tow.

"D'yah think she's singing that just for you," asked Ron, "or just to insult all guys in general?"

Harry however, wasn't listening, as he was too worried about his date the next day with Cho to even notice when they had reached the Room of Requirement. Luckily for him, the only Ravenclaw to show up was Luna Lovegood, as the others were practicing for Quidditch that day. The Triumvirate and the Hufflepuffs showed up, and they all did a somewhat decent job at going over spells that they all knew that night.

When Valentine's Day finally arrived, Hermione asked Harry to meet her at the Three Broomsticks around mid-day. When Buffy shot her a questioning look while Harry went off, Ron tapped her on her shoulder, as they had Quidditch practice for the entire day. The Slytherin Triumvirate followed behind Harry and Cho as they made their way to Hogsmeade, taking some time to secretly Silence Pansy Parkinson and her gang before she had the chance to say anything mean to Harry and Cho. The Triumvirate watched with smirks on their faces as both Cho and Harry went into Madam Puddifoot's, which was decorated in Valentine's Day paraphernalia. Dawn turned to the other two.

"Ok, this is where it all goes downhill from here in the book," she explained, "I'm hoping that it doesn't here, but most likely it will anyways."

"What?" Said Mordred agitatedly. "You mean they don't go to the Shrieking Shack and shag?"

"Not, they don't," replied Dawn, "where did you get the idea that they do that?"

"From some of the notes you had right here," replied Mordred, who took them out, "see, it says right here that Harry and Cho go to the shack and begin making out, it even goes into details in saying that Cho wears a thong which I'd love to have a picture of her in . . ."

"You idiot!" snapped Dawn exasperatedly, "that's just one of the notes from the Fan Fiction stories about those two. It doesn't happen here."

"Oh," said Mordred, looking like someone told him his snake Taltos choked to death eating his bird PaniChaos, "that sucks. I was all ready to go to the Shrieking Shack and take some pictures of them both, for blackmail reasons."

"Yeah, sure," said Faith sarcastically as they looked in on the trysting couples, "wow, make-out city and me without a stud to use and abuse." She then turned to the others.

"You sure Headmaster D would mind if I devirginized one or two of his students?" Faith asked suggestively. "It's not like they're not doing it themselves, yah know."

"Faith, don't you _dare_," warned Dawn, "the last thing we need is some extra horny Wizards following us around like lost puppy dogs just because you threw them a bone. We're under enough scrutiny with the human Ping-Pong ball here bouncing everywhere he goes."

They were interrupted by the sight of Cho storming out of the shop in tears, as a bewildered Harry looked after her. He then came out, visibly agitated as it began to rain. The three eavesdroppers went around the corner, but Mordred grabbed up a slushy snowball from the ground and nailed Harry in the back of his head as Harry was turning the corner. The three of them then stayed back for a moment as Harry began filling the air with expletives before going into the Three Broomsticks. The Triumvirate then went into the Three Broomsticks and ordered some Butterbeers for themselves while watching Harry talk with Hagrid. Soon, Hermione waved Harry over, where she was sitting with Rita Skeeter and Luna. When the Triumvirate looked over, Luna turned around and looked back at them, causing them to move to another table where they sent Extendable Ears over to Harry's table. They heard Harry talk to Rita Skeeter about the night Voldemort's return, with Rita pressing him for details into what happened exactly, who was there at the time, what Voldemort looked like now, and any other details Harry remembered. After they were done, when Luna and Rita got up to go put it into Luna's family magazine the Quibbler, Mordred went over to Luna as she was reaching the door and cast a _Muffliato_ spell so that there would be no eavesdroppers.

"Hey Luna," asked Mordred shyly, "would it be possible for me to send some stories I've heard of to the Quibbler as well? I don't mean right away, as Harry's story is really important, but maybe in the article after it?" A bright smile came over Luna's face as she replied to him.

"Sure, my daddy would be pleased to have more stories for future articles," said Luna happily. Mordred grinned at her as she left him standing there, while Dawn and Faith went over to Harry and Hermione to talk.

"So, how'd the date go?" asked Faith chidingly as Buffy flew over, covered in mud and soaked to the bone.

"We've taken a small break," she explained, "as I sorta destroyed the Waffle ball by accident. They just threw it at me during practice and I kinda whacked it into the Castle. So I decided to get a drink and told Ginny to come the minute they need me. So, how'd the date go?"

Harry grimaced and cast his own _Muffliato_ spell before telling the four girls and Mordred what a complete and total disaster his date was.

" . . . and to top it all off," Harry was saying, "some git went and hit me with a wet snowball in the back of the head before I got here."

Mordred kept a straight face while Dawn and Faith slightly grinned. Hermione and Buffy looked at him pityingly.

"Sorry Harry," Hermione said sadly, "but you were a bit tactless. You shouldn't have told her you wanted to meet me halfway through your date." Harry made some sputtering noises in outrage.

"What she means to say," Buffy supplied, "is that Cho got jealous when you were all ready to go off to see another girl you knew. So, she decided to try and make you jealous by talking about Cedric and Roger."

"It's a whole weepy-chick thing that I never went for," added Faith, "personally I'd of just get what I'd wanted from her, like I do with the guys, and move on. That's why I'm never one for long relationships." Hermione and Harry gave Faith a pair of identical shocked looks, which Faith only rolled her eyes to.

"Look, it's probably just me, but for the most part dating long-term just ends up being trouble," Faith said before sticking her thumb at Buffy, "ask B all about her ex-beaus, she'll tell you all about it." Dawn giggled as Buffy found herself under the questioning gazes of Harry and Hermione.

"Ok, I have a few questionable ex-boyfriends," admitted Buffy, causing Dawn to gag back a laugh. Buffy glowered at Dawn before continuing. "That doesn't mean that having a long-term relationship is a bad thing, it's just a tough thing to hold on to. Despite what _some people,_" Buffy glared at Faith while saying this, "think, not all relationships end up bad."

"Then how come yours did?" asked Faith. "There was Angel, who went soulless when you two boinked," this got Harry and Hermione to both gape at Buffy as she blushed crimson red, "then there was Parker who gave you a one-night stand before dropping you like third period French, then there was soldier-boy who ran off like a scalded dog because he couldn't deal with you. And then there was our mutual friend Spike, whom you had a _very_ physical relationship with if what Dawn here has told me is correct." Dawn giggled as Buffy blushed.

"And I suppose that guy you snuck out with that Halloween was totally with the pulse-having!" Buffy retaliated at Dawn, as her face went red.

"That was _years_ ago! And at least he didn't try to end the world!" Dawn said, making Harry and Hermione gape even wider while Mordred looked on with a gleeful grin on his face. "But then, you like that in a guy don't you Buffy? First Angel, then Spike. Oh yeah - _I'm_ definitely the one who's made the bad relationship choices!"

"Spike didn't try to _end_ the world!" Buffy countered, but Dawn had that countered.

"Err, are we forgetting the Judge?" Dawn reminded Buffy. "Or Adam? Or the parents evening thing?"

"That was _before_ we were together." Countered Buffy, as Harry, Hermione, Faith and Mordred sat watching, forgotten as the two sisters continued arguing.

"Oh that's alright then," said Dawn sarcastically, looking to the others as her audience, "as long as he only tried to end civilisation _before_ you boinked the night away, it's all good then!"

"Oh yeah? Well what about you and that guy in the jacket?" Buffy retaliated.

"At least he was human!" Dawn shot back, "besides, that wasn't _my_ fault. There was a spell. You were just as bewitched as I was! And at least I kept my virginity!"

"Well actually Dawn," Buffy said, "_you_ were bewitched, and the rest of us were just trying to help."

"Excuse you?" asked Dawn in an insulted voice. Hermione cleared her throat but was ignored completely as Faith chuckled.

"You have to admit," said Buffy, "that it was _your_ fault that the rest of us got involved with _that_ one."

"In that case," Dawn shot back, "the Angelus fiasco was all _your_ fault."

"No chance!" cried Buffy, "Angel lost his soul and became a totally different person."

"Oh so it doesn't count if you screw a guy into all of his evil goodness?" asked Dawn angrily, "I'll make a note of that."

"See what I mean?" asked Faith, "and you haven't even heard about my ex-beaus." She then began counting them off her fingers.

"Ronnie: deadbeat. Steve: klepto. Kenny: drummer. Eventually I just had to face up to my destiny as a loser magnet." She said sagely as she looked at Hermione and Harry. "Now it's strictly: get some, get gone. You can't trust guys. They're all beasts." Seeing Hermione's distraught look along with Harry's angry one, Buffy tried to reassure Hermione.

"You can trust some guys," Buffy said to Hermione, "really, I've read about them." But Faith was adamant.

"Let's be realistic," explained Faith, "every guy, from Manimal to Mr. I-love-The-English-Patient has beast in him. And I don't care how sensitive they act. They're all still just in for the chase." She then looked at Buffy, who was about to argue with her.

"It must be a blond thing." Faith said, getting a raised eyebrow from Buffy. She threw her hands in the air. "Ok, there probably is a guy you can trust, very far away, and someday some lucky girl will find him riding at the head of a herd of Luna's Heliopaths."

"Hey!" Shouted Harry, who had almost been forgotten by them all. "_I'm_ not a bad guy! It's because of Cho weeping and wailing that got us into his mess, it's not _my_ fault!" Mordred patted Harry on the shoulder.

"It's like I've always said: 'Women! Can't live with 'em, no resale value.'" The four girls glared at him in anger as he continued on. "_This_ is the reason we can't have a female world leader, as they get all crazy every month."

The four girls then all stood up outraged, their hands in their pockets on their wands as Mordred's self-preservation instinct finally kicked in. Harry had already jumped out of the way when they pointed their wands in Mordred's direction.

"See what I mean?" Mordred said still looking at Harry while gesturing at the angry girls, "_one_ little honest comment and they're all ready to go Rita Bobbit on the both of us. You'd think they'd be able to use their own wands for their _own_ pleasure without having to chop off our members for their use . . ."

The girls fired at them both, which Mordred actually deflected with a Shield Spell before he grabbed Harry and ran off with him. The females all howled at them they both ran as fast as they could into the rain, bowling over whoever got in their way. When they finally stopped, they were close by the Shrieking Shack, they were both soaked and Harry was out of breath. When Harry managed to catch his breath he turned to Mordred and spoke.

"Is your head up your ass," asked Harry between gulps of air, "for the _warmth _or the _company_?"

"I was just joking," replied Mordred, "it's the ladies that went all psycho on us."

"Well maybe you should stick to just telling knock-knock jokes from now on?" said Harry as they both searched out some shelter from the rain, "because you'll be killed if you keep up your current repertoire."

"Ok, I'll try one for you to hear then," suggested Mordred, "knock, knock."

"Who's there?" Harry asked wearily.

"You know." Said Mordred smiling.

"You know who?" Asked Harry, irritated.

"Exactly," said Mordred, "Avada Kedavra!" He shouted, before pulling out a small fake wand from the Triple W and squirting Harry with some green goop. Harry looked at himself in shock and surprise, before laughing along with Mordred.

"Just don't try that with any of the others," said Harry, "they'll flip out for sure."

"It's too bad your date turned to crap," said Mordred, "as that could have had some very good potential."

"Potential for what?" Asked Harry gloomily, as he didn't want to think about what happened.

"Good potential for the collage I'm working on," Mordred said, "'Hogwarts Hotties Hotchpotch'. It has pictures of almost all the girls in the school, and one of you and Cho shagging away in the Shrieking Shack would have been a very nice addition to my collection."

"You pervert!" Harry roared at Mordred, pulling out his own wand as Mordred jumped away, laughing. "You better have been joking!" Harry called out at a quickly running Mordred as he took off on his broom, knocking over several pedestrians on his way up.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33: Tabloid Treachery**

On the Monday in the Gryffindor Common Room, Harry talked with the others about what he had done and many of the others agreed with his decision about telling the Quibbler, although they mostly agreed that that type of newspaper was supposedly rubbish. When Ron, Ginny and Buffy came back after Quidditch practice, they were asked about it.

"It was horrible," said Ron depressingly, "I can't catch _anything_."

"Maybe," said Buffy, "but Ginny is pretty good at what she's doing, almost as good as you are Harry. And although Sloper is almost useless when it comes to being a Beater, I already know on what to do so it's not too terrible. Just knock out their Keeper and Seeker, and then let Ginny get the Snitch while the others score goals."

"You forget," said Ginny, "that we still need an awful lot of goals in order to get anywhere near Slytherin's lead. I don't think that Hufflepuff will just allow us to beat them that badly just so that we can get up there with Slytherin in points."

"Not to mention," Ron said gloomily, "that every time you get a foul, they get a free shot at me, meaning they'll be getting goals whenever the referee sees you deliberately knocking out the other team's Seeker or Keeper."

"So, the Slytherin team did the same thing and they didn't get any penalties," countered Buffy, "and besides, that just means I have to knock out the Chasers as well. That gets them four, maybe five goals on us, while we can get many more on them before Ginny catches the Snitch. It's as easy as really difficult pie."

Ron, Buffy, and Ginny all then left to go take baths as the Weasley Twins came in. Hermione turned to them as they sat down.

"Has Ron saved a goal yet?" she asked quietly.

"Well, he can do it if he doesn't think anyone's watching him," said Fred, rolling his eyes, "so all we have to do is ask the crowd to turn their backs and talk among themselves every time the Quaffle goes up his end on Saturday, and we'll do just fine."

"I don't know how I'm gonna survive watching if Hufflepuff beats us," said Fred, "it's bad enough that we can no longer play it anymore. It's the only thing in this place worth staying for."

"What about N.E.W.T.s?" asked Hermione sternly, glaring at the twins, "don't you care about exams?"

"We're not worried about that," said George, "we've got a nice area ready to set up our shop, all we need is the time to do so. Since Quidditch is no longer on our plate, school's the only thing in our way right now."

"Yeah, too bad Slytherin is in the lead for Quidditch," said Fred, "I'm tempted to Jinx anyone of the Triumvirate, if only one of them wasn't a Slayer." The twins both gave each other knowing looks.

"That's the trouble with Quidditch," said Hermione absentmindedly, once again bent over her homework, "it creates all this bad feeling and tension between the Houses." She looked up from her textbook and caught the twins and Harry looking at her with expressions of mingled disgust and incredulity on their faces.

"Well, it does!" she said impatiently, "It's only a game, isn't it?"

"Hermione," said Harry, shaking his head, "you're good on feelings and stuff, but you just don't understand about Quidditch."

"Maybe not," she said darkly, returning to her homework again, "but at least my happiness doesn't depend of Ron's goalkeeping ability."

That week, the DA met up on the Tuesday and the Thursday. They went over Shield Spells, with the Triumvirate, the Golden Trio, Neville and Ginny mastering them all very quickly, and Mordred showed the others a spell he learned called the _Concipioumbra_, which was basically a spell that made the caster's shadow into a container, allowing the caster to pick up and conceal any object his or her shadow can cover while lessening the weight of the object considerably. The others couldn't get how he did this, and Harry and the other six thought that it was one of the Dark spells Mordred learned from his new book, but didn't say anything. They also learned about _Densaugeo_, which caused the victim's teeth to grow at a very fast rate, and a basic Repelling Charm that was once used for Snitches that Harry thought would be good to use against Death Eaters to keep them from grabbing up anything they wanted (such as dropped wands or secret weapons). Cho worked with her friend Edgecombe during this, and every time Harry looked in her direction she looked away from him. Mordred went up to Harry at one point during a duel and spoke to him very frankly.

"This is the reason why teachers can never date students," said Mordred, "as it makes the actual learning in class that much harder for both. While they're dating the student gets preferential treatment, even at an unconscious level, and when they break up it hurts both because the student feels pressured by the teacher while the teacher feels they have to compensate for their transgression. It's a lose-lose situation in the end."

On Saturday, the day of the actual game, it turned out to be a bit more difficult than what Buffy had expected. Gryffindor's other Beater, Jack Sloper, was not only useless; he was a menace to his own team. He knocked out the captain, Angelina, with his bat, and almost knocked out Ginny with a Bludger that Buffy had to use her own body to defend against. The Hufflepuff Beater's had the same idea that Buffy had in knocking out the Seeker, so Buffy was reduced to defending Ginny against three Beaters in total. This allowed the Hufflepuff Chasers almost free reign to score on Ron with impunity, even when Buffy managed to knock out the Hufflepuff Seeker Summerby, they kept on scoring afterwards in a mad effort to tip the balance in their favour. Gryffindor had to rely on Ginny, who caught the Snitch and won the game for her team, but they only won it by ten points as Buffy had knocked out Hufflepuffs' Keeper Stebbins and Seeker beforehand, allowing her team to score a few more goals to get it over even when Ginny got the Snitch. Even though they won three hundred points to two hundred and ninety points, they were still nowhere near the lead they needed against Slytherin.

On the Monday, it was found out that the article that Rita had written about her interview with Harry for the Quibbler had been published in the March Bi-monthly Edition. Harry had gotten a free copy from Luna, along with several letters from readers, all of varying opinions. The Golden Trio and Buffy had just begun reading it when Umbridge came storming over, demanding to know what was going on. When she read the title of the Quibbler ('HARRY POTTER SPEAKS OUT'), she turned white with rage.

"There will be no more Hogsmeade trips for you!" She hissed. "How _could_ you? How _dare_ you? I have tried time and again to teach you not to tell these lies, but you insist on spreading these wild tales. One hundred points from Gryffindor, and one months' worth of detentions."

She then stomped away in a huff, clutching the Quibbler in a vice-grip. By mid-morning another Decree came up on the boards.

_By Order of the High Inquisitor of Hogwarts_

_Any student found in possession of the magazine  
The Quibbler will be expelled  
in accordance to Educational Decree # 27_

When Hermione and Buffy saw these signs, they both beamed with pleasure. When Harry asked them why they were so happy, Buffy grinned at him as Hermione answered.

"If there was one way of getting everyone to read the Quibbler," Hermione said smiling, "it was by _banning_ it. Now, everyone will read it just to know what it was banned for."

Buffy and Harry saw that Hermione was right, as just about everyone was seen quoting the Quibbler and whispering amongst themselves. When Buffy, Hermione or Ginny went to the washrooms they were bombarded with questions from the other girls there (it got so bad Buffy had to threaten some of the girls so that she could pee in quiet) and for the most part, they seemed to believe Harry. Umbridge tried to catch students who had the Quibbler, but the students had all bewitched their copies to resemble either blank pages or schoolwork. Soon, almost everyone in the school had read it.

Educational Decree # 26 forbade the teachers from mentioning the interview, but they found ways to express their feelings about it all the same. At the end of Charms class Professor Flitwick pressed a box of squeaking sugar mice on Harry and hurried away, Professor Sprout awarded Gryffindor twenty points when Harry passed her a watering can; and Professor Trelawney broke into hysterical sobs during Divination and announced to the startled class, and a very disapproving Umbridge, that Harry was _not_ going to suffer an early death after all, but would live to a ripe old age, become Minister of Magic, be married to a beautiful woman, and have twelve children.

"_That sucks Harry_," said Mordred, while they were leaving class.

"_Yeah, but we should have expected that Umbridge would do this to me_," Harry said showing his hand. Mordred interrupted him before he could continue.

"_Not that_," Mordred said shaking his head, "_the part where you'll get married and have children. If there was any fate worse than death, it would have to be marriage._" Mordred said sagely.

During their DA class they learned the Confundus Charm and the Babbling Curse, and after class Mordred went over to Luna to give her a few more article ideas while Cho went up to Harry and spoke to him very briefly before giving him a peck on the cheek. Harry came over to the Slytherin Triumvirate and Buffy in a smiling daze as they watched Mordred show Luna some of the ideas he had for other articles.

Mordred pulled out various articles he had found, showing several relating to Jabberwocky sightings, the mass of troops of Snow Golems used to fight against invading monsters (Mordred used pictures he had taken of his Snow Golem Army as proof) and a memo that claimed to be from Santa Claus himself to his customers. The others read it to see what he had to say, but they didn't like his message by the end.

Memorandum to World from Santa

February 13, 1996  
Commercial Headquarters, North Pole  
Santa Claus Incorporated

Dear Valued Customers:

Due to the aggressive pressures of a modernizing Holiday industry, SC inc. has been steadily losing market share to established industry leaders such as Hanukkah and Yule, as well as aggressive newcomers like Kwanzaa and Boxing Day. These competitive pressures have forced SC inc. to adapt its physical plant to amplify automation and effectiveness, while streamlining our corporate structure as well. However, due to the merger with Sombra Corporations, we will be not only able to make back our lost profit shares, but also gain more capital than ever imagined.

As you may have noticed, Muggle-based robotic androids have started coming in from other sources to take over the majority of the toy assembly duties for this year. Also, the sleigh has been replaced (due to its obsolete carrying system) with a Dipolar jet engine, the same engine used in the highly successful Mid-World Slo-Trans engines designed by North Central Positronics.

Regrettably, these exciting new changes have caused us to replace all of our Elf and Flying Reindeer labour. On the bright side of things, we now have over one billion Elves ready for sale to the highest bidders, as well as several million Flying Reindeer ready for processing. The actual sale will be starting in one week's time, and ending on December 25, 1996 this year. Any left over Elves or Reindeer will be given to the Umbrella Genetics lab, which is a unique branch of Sombra Corporation that deals with cosmetics (among other things). We hope to hear from you all soon.

Have A Great Summer!

S. Claus  
President and CEO  
Santa Claus Incorporated

_We bring good cheer to life!_

"See," Mordred said to the others as they looked on in shock and scepticism, "this _proves_ what I've been saying all along! Santa Claus is not only a big fat phoney, he's sold everyone out by siding with Sombra Corporation." He looked at the others wildly before looking back at Luna.

"How soon do you think you can have these articles out by?" he asked sincerely. Luna thought for a moment, frowning.

"I never thought that Santa would do such a horrible thing," she said angrily, before straightening up and looking into Mordred's shades. "I'll personally ask my daddy to see to it that this article gets a front page for March's second Bi-monthly Edition. People deserve to see what type of person Santa has become." She then thanked Mordred with a huge smile before looking at Harry.

"I almost forgot to tell you." Luna told Harry, her eyes popping excitedly. "Dad's reprinting! He can't believe it, he says people seem even more interested in this than the Crumple-Horned Snorkacks!"

Harry smiled at this, as it was nice to hear that his story was finally getting the coverage that was needed. He was a hero in his own dorm, where the article was given an Enlargement Charm and stuck on the wall. Harry used Buffy's Pensieve to extract a vision he had as Voldemort, showing the Trio and Buffy how he got information from Rookwood. On the Wednesday morning, the Daily Prophet came up with an emergency article, declaring that the people who wrote the Quibbler are all liars and sensationalists. It even went on to attack the family who owned it personally.

"'_Mr. Lovegood'_" read Dawn shakily to the other three members of the Triumvirate, _"'is an unethical reporter who only publishes deceitful information and lies in order to cause panic amongst the public_.' It says here that '_Mr. Lovegood has obviously been unhinged due to his then-wife's suicide, causing him to shut himself off from reality and to force his daughter, Luna (who had witnessed and may have even been an active part of Mrs. Lovegood's suicide)'_ [Faith and Dawn both gasped at this while Mordred went stock-still and growled dangerously_ 'to join him in his delusional fantasies. "One wonders," says an anonymous source, "what other perversions Mr. Lovegood and his daughter have in store for us, and whether or not a person of such questionable sanity should be allowed in a school of Hogwarts at all."'" _Dawn choked while Faith grunted, with Mordred's snarling growing louder while he tightened his hands into fists. Dawn continued reading after glancing briefly at Mordred.

"'_Another source agreed with the first, citing that "although Harry has only just been spreading lies do to his ego this past summer, 'Loony Lovegood' as she prefers to be called amongst her peers, has been known for frequent outbursts during class about mythical creatures that have never existed. Although she hasn't harmed anybody yet, it's only a matter of time before she detaches from reality altogether and starts attacking . . .'"_

Dawn was interrupted when Mordred crushed one of the plates he'd been eating from in his hands. He was glaring at the article with a look of pure fury, and sparks of electricity were pulsing throughout his face where his veins were. Dawn and Faith both stared at Mordred, who had drawn a bit more attention than usual this way with his antics. Faith kicked Mordred in the leg and he reigned himself in, but only barely. Dawn continued reading the paper before gasping and showing Faith and Mordred one of the ads in it. After that, Faith took the paper from her for safekeeping to show Buffy later on during Patrolling. Throughout the day Mordred in a state of barely-contained rage, from snapping at anyone and everyone during Arithmancy class, to Transfiguring his own desk into a mish-mashed animal that died after a few moments of life, to setting fire to the plants in Herbology and finally drop-kicking a Crup into Hagrid's face. He earned four detentions from four separate Professors, while losing his House at least sixty points in total. Faith and Dawn were not too much better, but they were more worried than angry.

When it came time to Patrol (as most of the Snow Golems were now reduced to Slush Golems due to the warmer weather) Buffy asked Mordred what his mood was all about. He could barely talk, leaving Faith to show her the ad while Spike looked on curiously.

"Here, read this." Said Faith, handing her the paper. Buffy found some Lost Pet posters, and was about to ask what they had to do with anything when she read the information on them.

"'Lost: One pair of white and black cats, named Buffy and Faith. Both answer to the name 'Slayer'. Lost: One small white fanged dog, answers to the name 'Spike' or 'William the Bloody." Lost: One small Sparrow, named Dawn. 'She is a Key part of the family.' Rewards will be provided to anyone who has any information regarding these lost pets, on behalf of their owners the Sombra Corporation.'" When Buffy was done reading the paper she looked at Faith and Spike, who were now wearing equal looks of dismay on their faces.

"Ok, I get the feeling that this Sombra Corporation wants us back for some reason," said Buffy, "but it doesn't want others to know why. At least they're not out exposing us to everyone." Mordred stormed off in a huff, pulling out his wands and shooting electricity from them both into one another.

"What's _his_ deal?" asked Buffy, getting only a shrug from Faith while the three of them followed Mordred.

The four of them found that the Snow Golems had taken out the majority of the Demons in the Forest, leaving only the regular denizens there. After a run-in with some Acromantulas, the four of them wandered around chatting about what to do about what to do about their situation.

"I say it's time we put my idea into action," said Mordred, after calming down a bit. "We need to distract attention away from us, and what better way than to frame a Death Eater for the crimes Sirius was accused of committing? We'd get rid of one Death Eater, get pressure off of Sirius, make the public even more aware of the Death Eaters, and maybe even get the Death Eaters fighting amongst themselves a bit."

"You just want the money," said Faith, "not that that's a bad thing, mind you. We could really do with a bit more cash."

"Who do you have in mind?" asked Buffy tiredly, "or should I even ask?"

"Well, Dawn was looking up the Death Eaters that get caught at the Department of Mysteries," said Mordred, "and she found one Death Eater name that doesn't show up there, but it does show up in the fourth story. We won't tell you the name yet, as we don't know for sure, but this family is not only loaded, but it's rather dodgy as well, so even if they're not Death Eaters, not many people would cry about them being robbed." Before Buffy could argue, they had to go back to the Castle for Astronomy class. Mordred seemed to be in a better mood, and on Thursday he managed to spend most of the day cleaning up after his classes as part of his detentions.

During the weekend most teams practiced for Quidditch, with the four teams splitting the weekend into quarters for themselves for fear that Umbridge would start banning more people in case they were seen fighting again. On the Monday they got more homework and notes to study from their teachers, and everything was almost back to normal when there was a great screaming to be heard in the Entrance Hall during dinner.

Professor Trelawney was found to be the one that was screaming, as according to Umbridge she had not only been fired but she had also been told that she was being thrown out of Hogwarts. Naturally, this caused her (as well as some of her favourite students) to grieve while Umbridge looked on in glee, and Trelawney was just about to leave when Dumbledore intervened after coming in from the grounds outside.

"As High Inquisitor, you _do_ have the right to dismiss my teachers. You do _not_, however," Dumbledore said smiling, but with a stern voice, "have the power to send them away from the Castle." He then gave a courteous bow.

"That power _still_ resides with the Headmaster," he said, "and it is my wish that Professor Trelawney remains in Hogwarts."

As Professors McGonagall and Flitwick both helped Trelawney back up the stairs, Umbridge glared furiously at Dumbledore.

"What are you going to do," she asked, her voice dripping with venom, "when I appoint a new Divination teacher who needs her lodgings?"

"I have already appointed a new Divination teacher, and he would prefer lodgings on the ground floor," Dumbledore said before turning to face the open doors of the Entrance Hall. "I am pleased to introduce you all to your new Divination teacher, Professor Firenze."

The others looked on in shock as the blond-haired, blue-eyed Centaur came into view, trotting through the mist outside. Umbridge's glare became darker than a storm as the Triumvirate and Buffy looked on smiling in secret.

"He's kinda cute," remarked Faith coyly, "even with the horsy underside."

"You're just a horn dog," replied Dawn before the others went back to the Main Hall to finish off dinner, "you'd be interested in anything that'd get you off when you wanted to."


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34: Centaur-Taught, Sneak Snagged, & DM Unleashed**

On Wednesday morning, the first Divination class with Firenze was being discussed by most of the students during breakfast. Buffy was giggling at Parvarti and Lavender, who were all fussing themselves up as if they were going on a date instead of a class. Hermione was trying to ignore them, as there were more important things to worry about.

"You mark my words. Umbridge is going to want revenge on Dumbledore for appointing another teacher without her approval," Hermione said darkly, "especially since he's part-human. You saw the look on her face when she saw Firenze."

After breakfast, Mordred and Hermione went to Arithmancy class as Harry and Ron followed the others into Classroom Eleven, an unused classroom that was found in the corridor leading off the Entrance Hall on the side opposite the Great Hall. Dumbledore had arranged for this room to look like the middle of a forest clearing, with trees and moss growing all over it. There were no seats, so the students had to all sit on the ground. When the classroom had all settled in, Firenze explained to them all that due to his working for the school, he was no longer allowed in the Forbidden Forest. He then had his students burn Sage and Mallowsweet on the classroom floor while looking for signs in the smoke. In the end, he was a different teacher than any of the others in that he impressed upon them that nothing, not even his own knowledge, was foolproof. After class, he spoke with Harry, Ron and Buffy about warning Hagrid before letting them go. That night, Mordred and the two Slayers went over to where Grawp had been hidden by Hagrid. They watched Hagrid get pounded on by his half-brother, slowly teaching Grawp some of the things he knew such as feeding and bathing himself. The three eavesdroppers decided to try healing Hagrid anytime they saw him along with Dawn, so that he didn't get too terribly damaged.

With the O.W.L.s coming up, it seemed as though all the Fifth-Years were expecting a hurricane to happen. Hannah Abbot was the first among many to suffer a nervous breakdown during one of her classes. Umbridge continued to attend all of the Care of Magical Creatures classes, Charms classes and Divination classes, not so subtly ridiculing the three Professors for each being half-humans. Firenze and Flitwick both seemed not to notice, but Hagrid became more and more upset at her as each class progressed. More and more students had to be given Calming Draughts as many became emotionally overloaded due to their upcoming exams. Even Dawn, Buffy, and Faith were experiencing some difficulties, as the Slayers had Patrolling to do with Mordred every night as well as exams to study for. Fortunately, the Centaurs were keeping on top of some of the problems in the Forest, as they were trying to vent their anger at Firenze working for Hogwarts on the monsters they slew. More often than not, the monsters were being found further and further away from Hogwarts, making Buffy and even Faith to some extent feel like they weren't doing anything useful during Patrols (although they didn't complain too loudly, as they now had more time to work on their homework with Mordred.) The calmest student out of all of them was Luna, despite the fact that the Dailey Prophet was now publishing accusations against her family as well as Harry.

The DA class on the Thursday that week focused on Hexes such as Toenail-Growing Hexes, Hurling Hexes, and a Wart Pox Hex (_Verruca Pox_) that caused the victim to break out with warts the same way an average person broke out with Chicken Pox. Mordred tried to get Harry to teach on how to make Dragon Pox, but due to the danger involved Harry vetoed the idea before Mordred was even done suggesting it. However, he did allow the Triumvirate to start working on Memory Charms as they said they were doing in just in case any of the Ministry's goons get wise to what they were doing, as well as to take care of any of the characters who were looking for them.

During the weekend, Mordred began working spells on some trees in the Forest, so that one out of every twenty would stake a soulless Vampire when they came near. He also went to Aragog, the head Acromantula, and together with the Triumvirate, Spike, and Buffy, convinced the Acromantulas to begin attacking Ubervamps that were in the Forbidden Forest. Mordred even grabbed up several of his own mutated spiders and snakes and set them upon the various monsters that he and the Slayers encountered in and around the forest.

The next three weeks were more or less the same, as classes focused on the upcoming O.W.L.s, pop quizzes were being given out, mountains of homework were being assigned, and Umbridge was supervising more and more of the classes that Harry took, looking for the smallest infractions he made and giving him detentions for it. She was just barely able to make her own classes at times, leaving the others to read the textbook over and over while waiting for the class to end. The Triumvirate began going up to her after classes either one at a time, in pairs or all at once to 'inform' her of what was going on while all the time putting pressure on her to make an Inquisitorial Squad for them to be the heads of. During Patrols about all of the regular Vamps were wiped out around Hogwarts, leaving only a few caves full of Ubervamps for the Centaurs to seal up. Mordred and the Slayers used their Sunlight spells on about three caves a night, as it was a very draining spell, making each night relatively easy on them in comparison to what they were used to.

After some DA classes, Mordred got Harry to stare him in the eyes so that they could work on Harry's Occlumency.

"Since I never liked the idea anyone hearing what I'm thinking . . ." Mordred began.

"_No one_ likes the idea of hearing what you're thinking." Cut in Buffy quickly, getting a laugh from the others.

"I think of this every time I meditate." Ended Mordred as if he was never interrupted in the first place.

When they were done on one particular lesson, Harry siphoned his memory of it into Buffy's Pensieve and the others looked at it.

"Wow, it's like watching a black hole," said Harry in awe at Mordred, "you dream about this every night?"

"Hey, it's what I see every time I meditate," said a smiling Mordred, "it helps me focus and it gives me strength even when I'm feeling down. It should help you block out Snape's and Riddle's mind-reading attempts. Just think of it before every lesson, and you'll do fine. I call it the Ritual of Chud."

After Patrolling one night, Buffy came back to the Gryffindor Tower to find a very excited Harry.

"It worked!" he said happily, "whatever this Chud Ritual that Mordred taught me is keeping Snape out of my head completely. Even when Snape tried to break into my head when I was leaving, I blocked him with it."

"And are you having any more dreams?" asked Buffy curiously.

"Just ones about Quidditch," replied Harry, before he sheepishly added, "and Cho Chang."

"_That_ I don't need to hear about in detail," said Buffy before heading off to bed, "but Mordred would probably get a kick out of it."

In April, on the Monday that Edgecombe was to betray the DA to Umbridge, the Triumvirate watched her like a hawk. Buffy also watched her, but she was also watching Umbridge as the Triumvirate had told her to in case they failed. When they saw Edgecombe send Umbridge a letter during one of the classes they knew then they had to act. During dinner Dawn went to the girl's washroom nearby the Great Hall to get it ready for Edgecombe by waiting out the others in it before putting an 'out of order' sign on it. The other two sent anonymous drinks to Edgecombe until she had to get up to go to the bathroom, and then they followed her discreetly to the bathroom. When she got there and opened up the door Dawn, who was standing right behind it, Silenced her instantly and dragged her kicking and struggling into the washroom. Faith and Mordred followed afterwards, with Mordred putting a Locking Charm on the door after Faith had reattached the 'out of order' sign. Dawn punched Edgecombe in the stomach before throwing her to the ground. Mordred hit her with a Body-Bind Curse leaving her lying with her entire body stricken motionless while Faith stripped her to her undergarments. Her eyes bulged as Dawn kneeled next to her prone body and looked into her face.

"Hi." Dawn said cheerfully to Edgecombe. "You're going to go back to Umbridge and tell her to call off her rigorous investigation. You're going to say that there is _no_ underground group called the DA. Or," she gestured to Mordred and Faith, who had both pulled rather sharp-looking hooked knives from their pockets and pointed them at some very delicate areas of her body, "these guys are going to sew up you gash and cut your udders off. We're going to cut each udder in half and send one part to each House, press-release style." Dawn turned to Mordred and Faith, who both waved their knives at Edgecombe as if waving hello at her. Dawn then got back into Edgecombe's face.

"Look, the people you are about to sell out are the people you depend on. We teach you Magic. We provide you with information taken from Umbridge. We distract others away from you. We _guard you while you sleep_." Dawn said, before putting her face into Edgecombe's as if to kiss her. "DO . . . NOT . . . _FUCK . . ._ WITH . . . US."

With that, Faith lifted Edgecombe off the ground and placed her into one of the toilets feet first, tying an anonymous note around her neck for Umbridge to find before locking the door. As the three of them left the bathroom they heard the tinkling of water as Edgecombe silently urinated down her leg into the toilet as they closed the door and took off the Do Not Disturb sign before heading back to the Main Hall.

During the DA class, the class had started to work on Patronuses, which everybody had been very keen on practicing, even though Harry kept reminding them that producing a Patronus when not under attack is very hard to do. Mordred couldn't even produce a light, let alone a Patronus, whereas Dawn was able to make a silvery cat that she sent to play around Hermione's otter and Ron's Jack Russell Terrier. Buffy had made a silvery owl while Faith had made a silvery bat, which flew around silently. Lavender, Neville, and Seamus (who had just started coming to the meetings) had some of the same problems that Mordred had, except that while they could produce puffs of smoke or feeble light, it was as if Mordred's wands were broken, as they didn't even vibrate. Anytime he was in the light of the Patronuses, he flinched back as if in pain.

"_Expecto Patronum_!" he cried out futilely, "_Expecto Patronum! Expecto Patronum!_"

"Think of something happy," suggested Harry patiently, "find a memory that makes you really happy, focus on it and let it loose."

"Ok, thanks," Mordred said in a hiss, before closing his eyes and thinking. When he was ready he pointed his wand out and fire into the air while mispronouncing the words.

"_Expecto Praestigiae_!" he cried, sending out not a light silvery thing from his wand, but a dark shadow that flew across the room and hit the wall. The others looked at it in confusion, and some of them even began to laugh before a scream cut through the air.

"It's a banshee!" cried Seamus, who dropped to his knees while clutching his ears. "Don't listen to it!"

"No it's not," said Ron, who was frozen on the spot, "it's an Acromantula!"

"It's Umbridge!" cried Hermione, getting others to shriek alongside her.

"It's Glory!" Dawn yelled at the same time, causing the Slayers and Harry to look at one another.

"What do you see?" asked Harry to Buffy and Faith, "I see a Dementor."

"I see the Mayor." Admitted Faith, while Buffy looked at it.

"I see the First," she said, before yelling over at Mordred. "Shut it off! Now!"

Mordred then used his other wand to pull it back into him, before looking at the others.

"Sorry about that," he said, "mixed up the words a bit. What did everyone see?"

"I saw V-Voldemort when he was still Tom Riddle," said Ginny. The others said that they saw their own worse fears as well. Hermione went over to Mordred with an astonished look on her face.

"You can create Boggarts," she said in a somewhat accusing manner, "just with your wand. What did you see?"

"I saw a bright light," answered Mordred, while looking down and shifting his feet, "I thought that I had got it right because it was bright like the others."

He then shrugged, and Harry decided to teach the others the Boggart-banishing spell, using Mordred's ability to create Boggarts for the others.

"I know that these things are scary," Harry said, "but we have to get used to doing spells when we are stressed out, otherwise all of our practicing will be useless if we freeze up at the wrong moment."

They started with Ron, who was able to make his spider tap-dance, then went to Hermione, who put Umbridge into a tutu. Parvati managed to cause her fear-induced Mummy to be rolled up into a roll of toilet paper, while Faith made the Mayor (whom the others were confused by as he looked so normal) get covered in dirt. Dawn's Boggart of Glory was also confusing to the others, as she appeared to them as a scantily dressed red-headed lady with a bad temper, nothing more, but Ginny's Boggart got everyone's attention, as it showed the boy named Riddle morphing into Lord Voldemort.

"I know that he's scary looking," said Harry as the others looked at it in wonder, "but that's what we're all up against. Ginny, if you can, make him look ridiculous."

Ginny paused a moment, before setting her chin and advancing on the false Voldemort as he went back to being a teen.

"_Riddikulus!_" she called out, causing the teen Riddle to be dressed in the hideous dress suit that Ron wore at the Yule ball last year. Harry then called it a night for them all after Mordred reversed his spell.

"Has anyone seen Marietta?" asked Cho, while the others were going out the door in groups. "She was supposed to be here with us."

"She was in the washroom the last time I saw her," said Faith with a grin, "she was rethinking her life on the crapper." When Cho left the room, the Triumvirate all snickered.

"What's so funny?" asked Harry, who was watching them. Dawn thought about it a minute, and then decided to be honest with him.

"Edgecombe tried to betray us all," she said smiling, "but we caught up with her and managed to get her to not only not betray us, but to lead Umbridge on a wild goose chase instead."

"What do you mean by that?" asked Hermione shrewdly. Dawn blushed as Faith stepped up to him.

"Let's just say that after today," Faith said mischievously, "no one will even think of betraying the DA, as not only would it be dangerous for them, but also it would be a waste of time as Umbridge will be after some other group instead."

The Golden Trio and Buffy went to the Gryffindor Tower, but before they could get there Draco caught up to them and tried to attack them. Buffy had broken his wrists, his nose, and was holding him up by the throat against the wall when Umbridge came around the corner.

"Stop that! Sixty points off of Gryffindor!" she cried, "all of you to the Headmaster's office at once!"

She grabbed Harry by the back of the neck and dragged him along the corridors while the others followed her while Malfoy's goons all kept guard over them while Malfoy himself went to the hospital wing, poking them occasionally with their wands. When they reached the Headmaster's office they found it was full of people. Dumbledore was sitting at his desk with a serene look on his face while McGonagall stood beside him with a tense look on her face. Minister Fudge, along with some guards standing around him and a recovering Percy Weasley (who still had some bandages on him from the accident beforehand), was looking rather happy with himself as he clutched a note in his fist. Sitting at the chair in front of Dumbledore's desk was Edgecombe, who was shaking fearfully and crying.

"Do you know why you are here?" asked Fudge to Harry and the others while grinning.

"No, we don't." Replied Harry while the others also shook their heads. Fudge then opened up the note and read it to himself before looking back at Harry.

"It has come to our attention that a secret organization has sprung up within Hogwarts," said Fudge, who had put on a grave tone while looking at the students, trying to gauge their reactions. "We were about to here from an informant today after dinner when she was detained by some of the members in the ladies washroom during dinner and assaulted and threatened by them." He nodded his head at Edgecombe, who was still crying.

"They left a note on her, probably meant as a warning to us," he then held it out for them, "I'll read it to you."

"The First Rule of _Development: Mayhem_ is," he read aloud, "you do not talk about _Development: Mayhem_. The Second Rule of _Development: Mayhem_ is you do not ask questions. The Third Rule of _Development: Mayhem_ is that there are no excuses. The Fourth Rule of _Development: Mayhem_ is that there are no lies. The Fifth Rule of _Development: Mayhem_ is that it will go on as long as it has to. The Sixth and Final Rule of _Development: Mayhem_ is you have to trust DM." Fudge folded back up the note before handing it to Dumbledore.

"Who is this DM?" he asked as Dumbledore read the note.

"I don't know, sir." Replied Harry honestly.

The other three students also shrugged their shoulders and looked at one another in confusion. Buffy however had to bite her lip to keep from smiling as she saw this pop culture reference sailing completely over the heads of everyone there.

"Well, if there is to be a group whose sole purpose is to create mayhem," said Fudge, "then it's only fair that Umbridge finally be able to recruit some students loyal to the Ministry to fight against this group." He then turned to Umbridge.

"I now present to you Educational Decree #28," he proclaimed, getting a huge smile from Umbridge. "The Inquisitorial Squad has now been made an official part of the school. It's leaders will include the group known as the Slytherin Triumvirate, and Draco Malfoy, so it has an even balance between males and females. They will decide who else joins the group."

"What powers will they be allowed to have?" asked McGonagall coldly, while Dumbledore looked on in interest.

"The power to be the will of the Ministry," said Fudge, "allowing them the authority to open and inspect packages, inspect rooms and dorms of other students regardless of House, reward points to Houses that help them as well as take away points from Houses who don't, and hand out detentions that go to Umbridge's approval. In short, they have all the powers that Professors do, and a bit more." Umbridge then stood up proudly and looked around the room.

"The Inquisitorial Squad will be the Ministry's best weapon against insurgency in Hogwarts," she said proudly, "and it will be a leading force for bringing order to the school."

The Gryffindors and one Ravenclaw student were all sent out of the office. Hermione and Ron glared at Edgecombe while they walked behind her, and after awhile Buffy turned around and looked her full in the face.

"What happened?" she asked kindly, as Edgecombe was still shell-shocked.

The weeping girl mumbled to Buffy some of what had happened as the others watched. When she could no longer continue, she ran off to the Ravenclaw Tower as Buffy looked off into space with a grim expression on her face. When Ron tried to Jinx Edgecombe's retreating figure Buffy blocked him with her own body.

"She's gone through enough as it is," she said to the others, "I'm going to go chat with Mordred and Faith during Patrolling, and I'll explain what I know when I get back."

She then left the Golden Trio staring at her as she walked towards the front entrance, her mind deep in thought. She stomped all the way to the edge of the Forbidden Forest, where she found Spike waiting for her in the cool, wet evening breeze. They both waited for Faith and Mordred, and it was almost eleven when they saw the two Triumvirate members flying through the air on their brooms. Buffy pulled out her wand and fired off some red sparks at them to get their attention, but they ignored her as they flew over the trees and out of sight.

"_Accio_ Firebolt!" Buffy said, pointing her wand at the Castle.

It came flying out one of the Gryffindor windows and flew over her head, where she grabbed it and flew off, leaving a bewildered Spike on the ground. She chased after Mordred and Faith, and when she had got up to them she yelled at them to stop moving so that they could talk.

"What in the _Hell_ gave you the right to do that to that girl," she yelled at them angrily, "_and_ to drag Dawn into it as well?"

"Hey, it was mostly Dawn who did the threatening," said Faith, blushing. "You should have seen her though, she was really amazing!"

"You three threatened to disfigure that girl, and you call that 'amazing'?" Buffy asked incredulously. "I would expect better behaviour from monsters that we Slay every night, not from my friends and family." She then looked at Faith, who at least wasn't hiding her face with a hood and sunglasses.

"I don't want my sister to become a monster," she said evenly, "and I don't want you to become one again as well. As for _you_," she turned to Mordred, "I just hope that you were there for backup reasons only, cause if I hear that you've been threatening other girls like that then I'll just have to cut off your wand and-I-don't-mean-the-Magical-ones." She finished with a glare.

Mordred just shrugged before Buffy took off, and the three of them Patrolled separately until they found some Dread Lords flying around a mountain. The three attacked the monsters, but Buffy made the most of her rage by swooping over the monsters and ripping off their wings before carrying them up really high. She used the wingless monsters to drop on the other monsters, killing some but mostly hurting them for Faith and Mordred to finish off. When they were all dead, the Slayers and Mordred went back to the Castle at around one in the morning.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35: IS Introduces Insanity & Instability**

On the Tuesday, the Inquisitorial Squad (IS) began going to work, with Malfoy adding his two goons Goyle and Crabbe, as well as his two 'sperm dumps' Parkinson and Bulstrode, to the group along with Warrington and Montague. The Triumvirate added Notts and Zabini to the group, making it an even dozen. They then began patrolling the halls, and entering into various rooms where they made themselves known through various means.

"It's only teachers that can dock points," Ernie Macmillan was saying to Malfoy and his goons as the Golden Trio and Buffy looked on, "and only they can add points as well."

'I know _students_ can't reward or dock points from each other," sneered Malfoy, as Crabbe and Goyle sniggered. "But members of the Inquisitional Squad; which is a select group of students who are supportive of the Ministry of Magic, hand-picked by the High Inquisitor Umbridge herself," bragged Malfoy, pointing towards a tiny silver 'I' on his robes just beneath his prefect's badge, "can in fact reward points as well as dock points." He said before looking over the group.

"So, Granger, I'll have ten from you for being rude about our High Inquisitor. Ten because I don't like you, Potter. Macmillan, you get ten off for contradicting me and for hanging around Potter and his friends. Weasley, your shirt's rumpled and your face is ugly, so I'll have another ten for that. Oh yeah, I forgot, Granger and Summers are Mud-Bloods, so twenty off apiece for that. I'm on such a good roll, I think I'll award my House twenty, no, make that thirty points for my hard work." Ron pulled out his wand, but Hermione pushed it away, whispering, "Don't!"

"Wise move, Granger," breathed Malfoy. "New times are coming, be good now, Potty, Weasel King. Remember Macmillan, if you want those points back you'll have to stay away from Potter and his types, as they're a bad influence on everyone they meet. Be sure to wear your 'Support the Ministry' buttons unless you want to lose points, they're only ten Galleons apiece but more than worth the price. You know where to buy them when you want them."

With that, he and his goons walked away laughing as the others looked at their House hourglasses to watch as stones in each glass flew upwards.

"I really hope that the Triumvirate thinks of something to counter that," said Ron, "or we'll be down to zero before the week is out."

But for the rest of the day, the points on Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw seemed to only go down as Slytherin went higher and higher, causing many of the DA members to mutter about what to say to the Triumvirate during the meeting that week. Harry hesitantly asked Buffy during lunch to talk to the Triumvirate when Patrolling about whether or not they should show up at the next DA meeting, as many DA members were talking about skipping it if the Triumvirate began taking more points away during lessons.

"I know they're your family," Harry said to Buffy, "but they've got a lot of people angry at them for being in Slytherin. I just hope that they do keep their word and begin rewarding points."

"It's not their fault the rest of Slytherin is out to get you," Buffy said exasperatedly, "Draco is going out of his way to punish you and all the other Muggleborns he can find. He's the cause of most of our points being lost." She then shook her head.

"This is why the system back home works better," she said, "students get their own points as marks and don't have to worry about teams losing points for them." Harry was about to retort when Cho came up to him. He went off to her and they talked. Buffy moved in closer to eavesdrop.

"Are you ok?" Harry asked Cho as they sat down, "Umbridge hasn't been asking you about the DA, has she?"

"Oh no," Cho said hurriedly, "it's just that I wanted to say I never dreamed that Marietta would tell on us . . . she's a lovely person really, she just made a mistake -"

"_She's a lovely person who made a mistake_?" asked Harry incredulously, "she tried to sell us all out, including you!"

Harry and Cho then went back and forth, defending their own friends while insulting the other's friends. Buffy listened on for a while before tuning it out. When Cho went storming off Harry came back to sit next to Buffy.

"Sorry that your girlfriend is such a bitch," said Buffy reassuringly to Harry, as he looked down at his food without saying anything. "I think I have an idea for tonight though."

"I have Occlumency with Snape tonight," Harry said despairingly, "although you have helped out a lot, I doubt I'll be able to concentrate with this going on."

"I'll try to arrange something." Buffy said mysteriously, as a plan formed in her head.

She waited until after dinner when Harry was to go to Snape's Office, and then she and the Slytherin Triumvirate set up a trap in Snape's office. Before Harry and Snape could begin their lesson, an explosion ripped through Snape's office, covering them both in gunk. As Harry and Snape both hurried out of the office, the Triumvirate went in to help Snape clean up the mess as Buffy used her wand to copy some of Snape's memories from the Pensieve before hurrying away. When they got back to their dorm, Buffy led Harry to her Pensieve, where she put the memories she pilfered from Snape into it. The Golden Trio and Buffy then plunged their heads into the Pensieve, going into the memories of Snape when he was their age.

There they found Snape writing his O.W.L. exam for Defence Against the Dark Arts, as well as the Marauders (James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew), who were also writing their exam. Hermione looked over what everyone was writing, mumbling to herself as Harry and Ron went from James to Sirius to Remus and back. Buffy grabbed up a piece of paper from her own robes and tried to copy what Snape and the others wrote, but Professor Flitwick called for a stop before she could copy anything important from the exam. After the exam all five of them went outside, with Snape looking at his exam paper while the other four talked about the exam. When Snape crossed the Marauders path however, James nailed Snape with several spells, humiliating him in front of everyone until Lily Evans, who would eventually be Harry's mother, came to Snape's rescue. She scolded James and Sirius for picking on Snape, before Snape made a comment that insulted her. She then left Snape to James, and after practically torturing Snape for an hour before their next exam, he let Snape go. The memory then ended, booting the four eavesdroppers out of the Pensieve. Harry was at a loss for words, as the others looked on at him.

"Your dad was a riot," Ron said impressed, "you see what he did to Snape! I wish I could do it myself, but –"

"Harry, how are you feeling?" Hermione cut Ron off, as she saw that Harry was looking rather depressed by what he saw. Buffy went to him and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Perhaps you should use what Sirius gave you for Christmas," she suggested evenly, "so you both can try and talk about what happened? It'll help you understand your father, and it'll allow you to talk with Sirius, who must be feeling pretty lonely right now."

"Snape deserved what he got!" shot Ron, "you've seen how he's treated Harry at all times."

"He _has_ treated Harry like crap," admitted Buffy, "but in comparison, James treated Snape even worse."

Harry mumbled something in agreement to that, and the Trio went to bed as Buffy took the Pensieve out with her on Patrol. She got Faith and Mordred to look through it, and Mordred pointed out that Snape was most likely using the Exam papers he got for use in his future notes. The three of them then found some Air Screamers as well as some Cacodemons flying through a cloud of ash, so they had to concentrate on wiping out the monsters. They used various lightening and fireball spells to attack the monsters, occasionally using Air Screamers as cover from the Cacodemon blasts. When they were finished with the monsters, they had to go back to the Castle to do their Astronomy class, so they had no time to discuss anything.

During the DA lesson on Thursday, most of the members were edgy around the Triumvirate. Edgecombe was nowhere to be seen, and Cho looked ready to bolt from the room at any time. Before he began the lesson, Harry decided to let the Triumvirate try to defend themselves before any actions could be taken against them.

"Ok, it's happening like we thought it would," said Dawn cautiously to the group, "Draco and some of the others are abusing the system, but we expected that to happen since it is a Ministry-made system. We do have some ideas on how to combat that, but what we need is your co-operation in this." The others grumbled at this as they advanced on her, but Faith intervened.

"Hey! We're not the ones who tried to go to Umbridge," she said angrily, "it was Edgecombe who tried to sell us all out! We kept our word, even when others won't. So _back_ off."

"Ok folks," said Mordred, "I'll just need a word with one member from each House for a moment. I'll chose three other students so that we can perform a spell that'll help add back some points lost, but this must be done in a single blind method, meaning only they know who they are and no one else does." He then walked over to a corner, where a drape appeared by it.

"So, would one Gryffindor, one Hufflepuff, and one Ravenclaw please come over?" he asked, "we'll be setting up the spell, but I won't be telling who will be doing it until I'm ready for it."

With that, Hermione of Gryffindor, Hannah Abbott of Hufflepuff, and Terry Boot of Ravenclaw went behind the curtain with Mordred. Harry then led the lesson, going over the Hexes, Curses and Jinxes they already knew as every ten minutes one of the members from Mordred's group came out and was replaced, starting when Hannah came out and asked Justin Finch-Fletchley to take her place. This went on for an hour, as the curtain swelled with power every time a new person went behind it. Hermione took over the group when it was Harry's turn, and Buffy noticed that it swelled particularly bright when he went behind the curtain with Luna Lovegood of Ravenclaw, Susan Bones of Hufflepuff and Mordred, but then she had to concentrate on practicing with Faith, who was so far the only duelling partner who could match her Slayer-reflexes and power. Buffy was the last Gryffindor student to be called to help Mordred, and when she went over to work with him, Ernie Macmillan and Cho Chang, she noticed that whatever spell Mordred was working on was already cast and that they were just strengthening it. When they were done, they came out and practised some of the spells Harry was re-showing them, mainly Patronuses (which Mordred still had not been able to conjure).

Throughout the lesson, Dawn and Faith had both rewarded points to the other students whom they thought were doing quite well in their practicing, thus keeping their word that they'd try and fix what Draco and his goons had caused to happen. When they were done, they went back to their dorms, with the Golden Trio leaving last. On their way back to their Tower, Hermione pointed out the Gryiffindor hourglass.

"Hey, it is working, sort of," she said, as they watched the four glasses. Every fifteen seconds, three points were added to a random House, be it Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, or Hufflepuff.

"It's not working fast enough," commented Ron, as many more points flew off of Gryffindor while another three went into Ravenclaw.

"Mordred said that he could modify it so that more points can be added," said Hermione as they went back to their Tower, "so we just ask Buffy to ask him to make it more if it doesn't draw too much attention from Umbridge and the others."

"I doubt it'll go higher than six points a minute," said Harry, sitting down on a cushion while the others also took seats around the Gryffindor fire, "as more than that would seem peculiar enough to teachers like Snape and Professor McGonagall, not to mention Umbrige."

"Say, did you use the mirror Sirius gave you?" asked Buffy casually as they got back to their Tower, before realizing she over spoken.

Harry looked at her quizzically before going to his bags and pulling out the present Sirius had given him. He opened it up and found a small, dirty, square mirror with a message scribbled on the back:

_This is a two-way mirror. I've got the other one of the pair. If you need to speak to me, just say my name into it; you'll appear in my mirror and I'll be able to talk in yours. James and I used to use them when we were in separate detentions._

Harry and the other two looked at it, and then back at Buffy, who was blushing and trying to avoid eye contact.

"How did you know he gave me a two-way mirror?" asked Harry shrewdly, "I haven't even opened it up yet."

"Because," Buffy replied cautiously, "that's what I would have given you . . . if it was me?" She then flashed them a smile before trying to change the subject.

"Go on," she said earnestly, "use it."

Harry looked into the mirror and spoke Sirius's name. When Sirius came up in view Harry told him about what he had seen in the Pensieve. When he was done Sirius talked with Lupin a bit so that they could both defend their old friend.

"I wouldn't want you to judge your father on what you saw there, Harry." Lupin said defensively. "He was only fifteen -"

"I'm fifteen!" said Harry heatedly while Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Look Harry," said Sirius while trying to calm him down, "James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other, it was just one of those things, you can understand that, can't you? I think James was everything Snape wanted to be - he was popular, he was good at Quidditch, good at pretty much everything. And Snape was just this little oddball who was up to his eyes in the Dark Arts -"

"Sort of like your friend Mordred," added Lupin, "and you've managed to be friends with him. Show's you have even better temperament with certain people than we did, as James always hated the Dark Arts."

Lupin and Sirius both then asked various questions about what they were doing, and as Harry told them they each had happy looks on their faces as they remembered their youth.

"He kept looking over at the girls by the lake," said Harry doggedly, determined to say everything that was on his mind, "hoping they were watching him!"

"Oh well, he always made a fool of himself whenever Lily was around," said Sirius, shrugging. "He couldn't stop himself showing off whenever he got near her."

"How come she married him?" Harry asked miserably. "She hated him!"

"Nah, she didn't," said Sirius.

"She started going out with him in seventh year," said Lupin.

"Once James had deflated his head a bit," said Sirius.

"And stopped Hexing people for the fun of it," added Lupin.

"Even Snape?" asked Harry, getting a chuckle from Sirius.

"Snape was a special case," Sirius said, "he always was on the lookout for ways to expel us or get us into trouble, and every time they saw one another it was always a duel of some sort if not a sneak attack. Trust me, more than once it was Snape who was the aggressor instead of James."

"How did Snape take to you finding this out?" asked Lupin, "and how are the Occlumency lessons going?"

"Pretty good now that Buffy has been helping me," replied Harry, "and Snape hasn't found out yet as we kinda nicked his memory from the bowl and put it into Buffy's -"

Buffy tried to stop him by stepping on his foot, but Lupin guessed at what she had.

"Buffy has a Pensieve of her own?" he asked, looking through the mirror at her.

"Mordred stole it from Knockturn Alley," supplied Buffy, "and loaned it to us since Harry was taking Occlumency."

"Who else knows Harry's taking Occlumency?" asked Sirius worriedly, "we don't want the whole school to find it out."

"Just the Triumvirate, Buffy, Ron and Hermione here," said Harry defensively, "they can be trusted."

"Let's hope so," said Sirius darkly, "I know that you're more forgiving than we were at your age, but I just hope that these three Slytherins are more trustworthy than we fear them to be. No offence," he said looking at Buffy, "but sometimes even family can betray you for the worst of reasons."

The Golden Trio and Buffy then talked with Sirius a bit more before Buffy had to go Patrol, and she left them all talking about some of the stunts the Marauders had pulled in their time and comparing it to the Weasleys. She found Mordred and Faith outside the Forest waiting for her, and they went off to Patrol the forest on foot. They found some Acromantulas attacking some Vampires for them, so they watched for a while before moving on.

"The Holidays are coming up," said Buffy, "other than homework and studying, what does the Triumvirate have on plans for the week off?"

"We're thinking of putting Dawn's plan into action when the Holidays start," said Mordred happily, "as we have a week off to do so without having to miss classes. Tomorrow's the last day of actual classes, so we'll be starting our plans then."

"Do I really want to know what your plans are?" asked Buffy wearily.

"Just have Sirius and Harry talking with one another on the mirror the day after we do what we're going to do," said Faith, " so that Harry doesn't get the wrong idea."

"Wrong idea about what?" asked Buffy before she shook her head, "never mind, I don't want to know."

They then Patrolled the Forest some more before heading back to the Castle.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36: Holiday Heist**

On the Friday, Buffy found the Golden Trio looking over their timetables that Hermione had made for them, and to both Buffy's and Ron's shock they found out there was only six weeks left before exams started. Hermione chastised them both before colour-coding all their timetables so that each subject had a different colour. Even Quidditch practices had their own colours, so Buffy and Ron knew when to go practice (although Ron was depressed by his own goal-tending abilities, Buffy was happy to be able to get away from just Patrolling and studying all the time.)

Meanwhile, the Triumvirate were each spread out around the Slytherin table selling 'Support the Ministry' buttons to whoever came to buy them. Mordred was also helping out some of the younger boys with their homework and ideas while Dawn did the same for the girls. Meanwhile, Faith was cozying up to Blaise Zabini and Theodore Notts, as both boys vied for her affections while Draco and his goons Crabbe and Goyle looked on in disgust while they too were also selling buttonsl. Both Blaise and Theo then got up to leave, but Faith pulled Blaise close to her.

"I would like spend the weekend with you," she breathed into his ear, "as I think you're just the man that can take care of a certain _itch_ I've been having for this past while."

She then let her tongue touch his ear briefly before letting him go, and she watched him as he stumbled off in a daze. Later on after dinner, when it was time for most people to leave for home, Faith received a note from Blaise's owl, which she read aloud to Mordred and Dawn.

"Listen to this," said Faith, "'I am interested in what you have to offer, although a relationship between you and me could never happen due to your poor bloodlines. I would like, however, like to help you out with your _itch_, as I am very interested in scratching it for you. Please come to my Mansion with me tomorrow. Tell _no one_, as this is just for the week only.'" Faith looked over at the others.

"We're in," she said smiling triumphantly.

"It says just you," said Dawn cautiously, "not me and Mordred as well."

"So we just give him some cock-and-bull story about the possibility of you and Faith doing a threesome with him," supplied Mordred, "and I'm just there as a friend. Not that you will be doing that." He added after getting a look of pure disgust from Dawn.

"I don't share men," said Faith, "but then again, I don't keep them either. It's a good idea."

Faith and Mordred then went off Patrolling with Buffy, where they said they'd be gone for part of the weekend but didn't tell her where. The next day the Triumvirate went over to where Blaise was standing, getting a glare from him.

"It's ok," said Faith reassuringly as the four of them went over to the fireplace to Floo to his mansion, "Dawn was interested in getting a scratch as well, and Mordred is here just to go visit and add ties for the Triumvirate."

Dawn gave Blaise a coy smile, as he looked her up and down with lust clearly in his eyes. Liking what he saw, he grabbed up a handful Floo powder before throwing it into the fireplace.

"Zabini Mansion, for four!" he said, as the fire burst green. First he, then the Triumvirate went into the fire, landing in the fireplace of the Zabini Mansion.

"Hey mom!" he called out, "I brought some guests over. They're that Triumvirate I mentioned in my letters."

The four of them looked up the huge stairwell, which had marble steps and golden handrails, to the top where Mrs. Zabini was. She was a beautiful African-skinned woman, who looked like she could have outshone actress Halle Berry or singer Aaliyah in the looks department, as she stood in a white dress that showed her best features very prominently. The Triumvirate stared at her, but only Mordred got an elbow from Blaise. Mordred then pulled back his hoods.

"Ok dear, let me see your friends," she said as she glided down the steps. When she reached them Blaise introduced the three to her, and Faith took the opportunity to try and get Blaise alone while Mordred and Dawn talked to Mrs. Zabini.

"Say, why don't you give me the grand tour of the place while Mordred and Dawn talk business with your mom?" asked Faith as Mrs. Zabini sat down with Mordred and Dawn.

As Dawn looked at them, she noticed that Mrs. Zabini was about as enthralled with Mordred, as he had taken off his sunglasses, as Blaise was enthralled with Faith. _Looks like there'll be more than one couple getting it on tonight_, Dawn thought wryly as she looked from each couple.

"What's your name?" asked Dawn curiously, while Blaise and Faith left the room while Mordred stared into Mrs. Zabini's eyes. She blinked her eyes as if from a trance, and looked at Dawn.

"My name is Cleopatra, but please, call me Cleo," she said to Dawn, before looking back at Mordred. "Elf, get some drinks for our guests and myself!"

The House Elf arrived with some Butterbeers for Mordred and Dawn while Cleo had some Firewhiskey for herself. Mordred stared into her eyes, causing her to space out completely. Working quickly, Dawn pulled out some lilac coloured Draught of Living Death, which she added to Cleo's drink. When Cleo drank at Mordred's suggestion, she went into a deep sleep, allowing Mordred to take away her wand. When her House Elf came back to investigate what went happened, Mordred pulled out Cleo's wand.

"_Avada Kedavra_!" he said suddenly, shooting a jet of green light at the unsuspecting Elf.

It hit the Elf, but it only knocked the Elf down and caused it to bleed from the nose and mouth. It took several shots of the Killing Curse before the Elf finally dropped dead on the ground while Dawn looked at Mordred in shock.

"It'll help make it seem more like a Death Eater attack," Mordred said looking at Dawn, "and besides, it gets rid of an Elf who would have blabbed on us."

"What if it was a good Elf?" asked Dawn, who was still shocked.

"We can't take that risk," replied Mordred, "now lets get to work."

They went over to one of Cleo's rooms, and after looking through her closet, found a compartment full of Death Eater uniforms along with her Gringotts vault key (which also had the number for it on it). They stripped Cleo bare (Dawn knocked away Mordred's camera when he pulled it out to take a picture of Cleo naked before beating him over the head with it until he promised not to take any pictures) and put her into a Death Eater outfit. Dawn then pulled out a vial of Everlasting Polyjuice Potion and a single hair from Sirius. Mordred placed a funnel into her mouth and pulled out one of her hairs as Dawn mixed Sirius's hair into the potion and poured it down her throat. Soon Cleo had changed into Sirius Black, and was put into a Total Body-Bind Curse by Dawn before they took her out by the side of the Mansion where they siphoned out some of her memories and put them into their Pensieve. They then both went back into the Mansion to look for hairs from Blaise, which they found on one of his Quidditch uniforms that the House Elf was supposed to wash.

"Well, bottom's up." Said Dawn as she drank her Cleo-mixed potion as Mordred drank his Blaise-mixed one.

When they were done changing Cleo/Dawn and Blaise/Mordred looked up Cleo's memories as they got dressed into robes that Blaise and Cleo would wear out and packed in some extra Death Eater outfits before they went to the fireplace.

"I hope Faith takes her time with Blaise," said Cleo/Dawn as she threw in a handful of Floo powder, "Diagon Alley!"

When they went through, they found themselves in a main Diagon Alley Floo Powder area. They quickly rushed over to Gringotts.

"I hope that this works," said Blaise/Mordred as they both approached the burnished bronze front doors of Gringotts.

A Goblin, dressed in a uniform of scarlet and gold, stood guard there as they passed through the front doors into an entrance chamber facing another set of silver doors that were engraved with a rhyming warning.

"It _will_ work especially after all of the planning we went through to get here," Cleo/Dawn said with a shrug, "now be quiet until we get into the vault."

Cleo/Dawn looked around the main hall, which was a large chamber that had a long counter with a hundred Goblins, sitting on high stools, hard at work counting and weighing coins, writing in ledger books, and examining precious stones. Cleo/Dawn waved one of the Goblins over, giving him a bright smile that was able to enthral most males.

"I don't want to wait in line like the commoners," Cleo/Dawn said coyly while holding out the Zabini crest, "how about we come to other arrangements." The Goblins' eyes lit up with understanding at the sight of this.

"For a respected customer such as yourself," the Goblin said while taking the crest in his hand before briskly turning around and gesturing the group to follow, "I think we can speed the way. My name is Griphook." He said before leading them off the main chamber, to one of the narrow stone caverns that led to the vaults far below ground.

Blaise/Mordred and Cleo/Dawn both looked down the torch lit passages before going to their guide, who had sat on a small cart located on the narrow tracks set in the stone floor, waiting for them. Griphook led the group down the long winding passages to some old vaults before stopping in front of a rather impressive vault. He turned to Cleo/Dawn before holding out his hand.

"Vault number 925, Zabini family," Griphook said, "your key please."

Cleo/Dawn handed the key over to Griphook, who took it and placed it in the lock; with a twist of the old key the vault opened up, revealing hundred-foot piles of gold Galleons, silver Sickles, and bronze Knuts, as well as some books, valuable gems and jewellery. The Goblin then left them to the vault, which they went into. Blaise/Mordred snapped his fingers, causing PaniChaos to appear, and then waved his wand over the pile.

"_Concipioumbra!_" he said, causing his and PaniChaos' shadows to loom over the entire pile.

When it retreated back to him, all of the wealth was gone, leaving only an empty vault. When they got outside of the vault, Blaise/Mordred pointed Cleo's wand into it and put a Dark Mark inside the vault before closing the door. Before they left, Blaise/Mordred went to where Lockhart's vault was at, and used the key he had nicked off of Lockhart to go into and steal all his belongings via Shadow Containment Spell again before using Cleo's wand to put another Dark Mark into the vault. They then put on their Death Eater outfits while PaniChaos disappeared in a flash and waited until Griphook came back looking for them. When Griphook returned, they bound him in Conjured ropes and held him at wand-point, making him take them back to the main hall of Gringotts, where they found a whole bunch of Goblins obliviously going about their business. They used the advantage of surprise and the use of two wands each (Dawn used her own and Cleo's wands while Mordred used his own two wands) to send Stunners along the sides to knock out most of the Goblins before binding them in ropes.

"Ok everyone, siddown and shaddup, and no one gets hurt," Blaise/Mordred yelled at the rest of the shocked customers. "We're Death Eaters under Lord Voldemort, and we're here to relieve you of any miscellaneous valuables you might have lying around."

"You'll never break our vault security," their captive Griphook said smugly. "And by the time you even got to them, the Aurors would be here to arrest you."

"It's just as well we're not here for your stupid vaults then," Blaise/Mordred snorted as the customers all sat down in the chairs Cleo/Dawn had Conjured for them. "Ok babe, start rakin' it in."

With that, all the chairs that had been Conjured sprung up ropes that bound the customers, leaving them tightly bound while Blaise/Mordred and Cleo/Dawn jumped over the counters and opened up some bags before they started shovelling the money that the Goblins had been counting into the bags. Blaise/Mordred and Cleo/Dawn went from stall to stall loading up Galleons, Sickles, Knuts and precious stones of all sorts into their bags along with all the Muggle money that was there to be exchanged as well.

"That much loot will be so heavy," said Griphook, "that idiots like you will never get it out of here!"

"It's just as well we have Feather Charms on 'em," Cleo/Dawn snorted in reply as she went through one of the Goblin teller's pockets, "ain't it?"

They finished looting the counters as well as the pockets of the unconscious Goblins, before jumping back over the counters to start stealing money and jewellery from their bound captives. When they were done, Cleo/Dawn used Cleo's wand to Conjure a Dark Mark inside the Gringotts bank (blinding everyone with its light and closeness) before they went out the doors in a rush. They quickly shed their Death Eater outfits in an alley before Mordred cast his Shadow Containment spell on their bags. They then went the main Floo area to head back to the Zabini Household using Floo Powder again. Dawn and Mordred changed back into themselves using their Polyjuice Potion, and then grabbed up Sirius/Cleo's body, and placed 'him' into a ditch nearby the road.

Mordred and Dawn went into the Zabini mansion, and listened in on Faith and Blaise. The sounds coming out of the room confirmed that they were both still very busy indeed, earning some chuckles from Mordred and Dawn.

"Maybe we should give them another hour or so?" asked Dawn cheekily, "Faith seems to be having a rather good time in there, and she _was_ complaining about the 'lack of action' for a while now."

They went about the Zabini Mansion, grabbing up various items they wanted and adding them to their bags as the sounds continued from Blaise's room. When they had grabbed up and used a Shadow Containment spell on as much valuable stuff that wasn't nailed down (and some that was) as they could, and they were sure that Faith had gotten her rocks off, they set off an explosion that destroyed the front hall of the Zabini Mansion and caused a fire to go burning along the walls and ceiling. Blaise came running completely naked out of his room, as Faith got dressed and came out after him. She went over to Mordred and Dawn, who had began firing blasts at various Death Eater cloaks that they had Levitated off the ground after they had set off a Dark Mark over the mansion with Cleo's wand. The Triumvirate then rushed over to where Sirius/Cleo lay, and nailed 'him' with another Full Body-Bind Curse before breaking Cleo's wand and putting it next to the body.

"We got one!" cried Mordred, as Blaise, still uncaring the he was naked, came over. "Don't kill him, get some clothes on and send an owl off to the Ministry!"

Blaise turned to run off, but Mordred hit him with a Stunning Spell when his back was turned. He then went over and grabbed up the Zabini family owl and sent it off to the Ministry, and within ten minutes the area was filled with Fudge and his Aurors. They came over to where the Triumvirate was holding Sirius/Cleo and took 'him' off of the Triumvirate's hands as the Zabini Mansion burned to the ground.

"Very good work, you three," said Fudge with a kind of vicious satisfaction on his face, "you've caught a very dangerous criminal on your own during the Holidays. You will be rewarded very handsomely. But first . . ." he motioned in the air with his hand behind him.

Suddenly, a Dementor came flying through the air and landed on Sirius/Cleo's form. Before the others could do anything, the Dementor pulled back its hood and clamped its jaws onto Sirius/Cleo's mouth, making a horrifying sucking sound as it extracted Mrs. Zabini's soul from the body. When it was done, the body just laid there, breathing but not responding to anything as the Daily Prophet reporters swarmed the area to get pictures. The Triumvirate had their pictures taken with Fudge shaking each of their hands and one where he posed with them, handing them a bag of gold while giving the camera a thumbs-up sign. After answering some questions by the reporters, the four students all went back to Hogwarts (as the Zabini Mansion had been destroyed) and during Patrolling Mordred and Faith told Buffy all about it that night.

"It was so easy," said Mordred, "months and months of planning boils down to a day's work. Maybe we should hit another family since we now have an entire week off?"

"It would raise too much suspicion," said Buffy warily, "and besides, you already framed one person as Sirius. I'm sure that any other things like this will get too much attention." She then turned to Faith. "How'd your part turn out?"

"It was pretty good, actually," Faith said smiling. "Blaise may be an ass-clown when it comes to things like blood purity and such, but he's no slouch when it comes to the bedroom. And he's good about having a one-night stand, he's not clingy like some men are."

"Good to hear," said Buffy as she rolled her eyes, "where are you going to put the loot?"

"We're donating some of it to St. Mungo's," said a smiling Mordred, "and giving some of it to Sirius, Lupin, Harry, Hermione, and the Weasleys. The rest we're keeping for ourselves."

"Wait until you see it in the paper" said Faith, "you'll get a kick out of it."

On the Sunday, Buffy noticed that everyone was looking at the Daily Prophet with new interest, as the front page had the Triumvirate posing with Fudge (who had bought one of their 'Support the Ministry' buttons and was wearing it on his coat) over the body of the captured 'Sirius Black'. The students from all Houses whom stayed over the Holidays looked at the Triumvirate in awe, as some of them clapped them on their backs in appreciation for catching 'Black' before purchasing buttons from them. Buffy read the paper with the Golden Trio.

"'Sirius Black, possibly the most infamous prisoner of Azkaban, and murderer of at least twelve Muggles and several Wizards, has been recaptured by three brave Hogwarts students. These three students, known as the Slytherin Triumvirate, captured Black when he and some other Death Eaters attacked and destroyed the Zabini Mansion after robbing the Gringotts bank. Cleopatra Zabini is reported as missing, and the Zabini House Elf was found dead amongst the rubble of the Mansion.

'"I may be homeless," Blaise was quoted in saying, "but at least we've got one of the worse criminals from Azkaban back behind bars."'

The picture showed Blaise standing with a towel around his waste, shaking his fist in the picture and looking angry. Buffy and the Golden Trio were smiling until they read the next section.

"Fudge was also asked to give a quote for the paper, so here's what he had to say." Said Buffy. "'It is a clear attempt by certain people to make the Wizarding world believe that there are more dangerous people out there clamouring for the return of You-Know-Who. However, the capture of Black signifies that the only people who need to be worried about are fear-mongers such as Harry Potter and Dumbledore, whom insist on spreading lies about the supposed return of the Dark Lord. This, I promise as the Minister of Magic, that I will personally put a stop to before the end of Spring Holidays. I will be arresting all adults whom spread these lies, while the High Inquisitor will be dealing with any students who tell these lies so that they learn better before they leave Hogwarts.' In other news, fans of the late Gilderoy Lockhart were shocked as they found that his entire vault, along with the Zabini vault, had both been robbed. Theses fans had been waiting eagerly to read his will, as some claimed that he would 'leave it all to his f-'"

As they read that, another Decree came in on the main hall. It read:

_By Order of the Ministry of Magic_

_Dolores Jane Umbridge (High Inquisitor) has replaced  
Albus Dumbledore as Head of Hogwarts School of  
Witchcraft and Wizardry in accordance to Educational Decree #29._

The students looked at Dumbledore, who was sitting unconcernedly while reading the paper, and at Umbridge, who was bursting with joy. Suddenly, Fudge and some of his Aurors came barging in, and Fudge handed a note to Dumbledore, which he read in length. After a brief discussion, Dumbledore rose.

"It appears that some people wish for me to leave Hogwarts," he said to the bewildered students, "but to those of you who ask for it, help will always be given at Hogwarts. I will only truly have left this school when none here are loyal to me."

With that, he went back to his office with some of the Aurors and Fudge.

"I _knew_ something wasn't right." Said Dawn in an alarmed voice to the other Triumvirate members while Draco and his goons whopped with glee.

"Sweetie," said Faith condescendingly, "we're _criminals_. If everything were right, we'd be in jail."

The Golden Trio followed Fudge and his Aurors at a close distance as they listened to Fudge talk to Dumbledore.

"You will now be escorted back to the Ministry, where you will be formally charged," Fudge was saying triumphantly, "then sent to Azkaban to wait trial!"

"Ah" said Dumbledore gently, "yes. Yes, I thought we might hit that little snag."

"Snag?" said Fudge, his voice still vibrating with joy, "I see no _snag_ Dumbledore!"

"Well," said Dumbledore apologetically, "I'm afraid _I_ do."

"Oh _really_?" asked Fudge, his temper and blood pressure both rising.

"Well," Dumbledore said evenly, "it's just that you seem to be labouring under the delusion that I am going to – what is the phrase – 'Come quietly.' I am afraid I am not going to come quietly at all, Cornelius." He said to a now-shocked Fudge. "I have absolutely no intention of being sent to Azkaban. I could break out, of course -" he said with a chuckle, "but what a waste of time, and frankly, I can think of a whole host of things I would rather be doing."

With that, Dumbledore waved his wand and a streak of silver light flashed around the room. There was a bang like a gunshot, and the floor trembled. When the dust settled, the Aurors were all down and out, while Dumbledore stood over them amongst the wreckage caused by his spell. McGonagall was the first to get to him.

"Where will you go, Dumbledore?" whispered Professor McGonagall, "Grimmauld Place?"

"Oh, no," said Dumbledore with a grim smile. "I am not leaving to go into hiding. Fudge will soon wish he'd never dislodged me from Hogwarts, I promise you . . ."

With that, he beckoned the Golden Trio and Buffy over into his office.

"Harry," he said, "promise me you'll continue your Occlumency classes with Snape. Buffy, please try to reign in the Triumvirate, they're intentions are good, but they have a tendency for wanton destruction that I'd rather not have happening in Hogwarts. Be true, all of you, to each other and your friends, as friends and family are riches that money and power can never hold a candle to."

With that, he grabbed Fawkes' tail, and with a flash of fire the two of them were gone. The Minister and his Aurors came groggily awake, and then looked around the room. Umbridge then glared at Harry.

"Where did he go?" she asked venomously. Harry shrugged his shoulders as she looked around the room at the other Aurors.

"After him!" she cried suddenly, leading the others out of the room, "he can't have gotten very far!"

All that was left was the Trio, Buffy, McGonagall, and Fudge in the room. Fudge gestured McGonagall to leave the room. As the door swung closed behind them, Harry heard Phineas Nigellus' voice.

"You know, Minister, I disagree with Dumbledore on many counts" the Portrait said, "but you cannot deny he's got style . . ."


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37: Careers Advice & DM's First Blood**

The shock of what happened was still on everyone's minds as the students were swamped with pamphlets, leaflets, and notices concerning various Wizarding careers along with an extra notice, which told the students to attend a meeting with their Heads of House to discuss their future careers on the Monday after Spring Holidays. During Patrolling on Monday night of the Spring Holidays, Buffy, Faith and Mordred talked about what to apply for.

"Even though we won't be here forever," said Buffy, "we may as well get some fictitious jobs to apply for so that we don't draw too much attention. What's Dawn say she wants to apply for?"

"She wants the same job as Harry does," replied Faith, "she wants to become an Auror. I was also thinking, that since it's not that far from being Slayers, that we apply for the job of Vampire Hunters. It's not that different than what we're doing anyways, and we'd get paid better for it, plus not have to hide it at all times."

Buffy thought about this, before nodding her head in agreement.

"That's good for the two of us," she said, "but what about you, Mordred? What are you applying for?"

"I'm just going to wing it," Mordred replied, "take every course there is, and if I pass all of them, then great. The ones I fail will be the ones I avoid for future work."

"That's about twelve subjects," said Faith cautiously, "plus Apparation and Quidditch. You'll _die_ taking that course load."

"Yeah well, since I've only been on this planet for less than a year, I may as well make it count," replied Mordred, "as for all I know, I'll need all of my options open until I know what I really want to do. Mostly I want to pull a Jules Winnfield and 'Walk the Earth', you know? Meet people, get into adventures, that sort of thing."

They then met up with Spike, who had some startling news for them.

"Most of the baddies that we've faced have been contracted out," he said, "the ones that we didn't wipe out, that is. Some Big Bad is hiring them all up, and telling them to hide until it was time to be ready."

"Ready for what?" asked Buffy agitatedly.

"Don't know." Was all Spike could say. The three students then went back to the Castle with Spike, who went down to the Chamber of Secrets.

"It's a nice place to stay at," he said when they left him there, "although awfully wet at times."

Before they went back to their separate dorms, Mordred handed Buffy an antidote for Veritaserum, mainly for Harry but also for other Gryffindor students who were friends of Harry. She went into the Gryffindor Tower to find the Golden Trio talking with the Weasley twins.

"Anyway," Fred was saying to Hermione, "we've decided we don't care about getting into trouble any more."

"Have you ever?" asked Hermione redundantly.

"Course we have," replied George, "we've never been expelled, have we?"

"We've always known where to draw the line," pointed out Fred.

"We might have put a toe across it occasionally," admitted George.

"But we've always stopped short of causing real mayhem," said Fred proudly.

"But now?" asked Ron tentatively.

"Well, now –" said George.

"–what with Dumbledore gone –" continued Fred.

"–we reckon a bit of mayhem –" added George.

"–is exactly what our new Head deserves," Fred finished off with a flourish.

"You mustn't!" Hermione said vehemently, but Buffy intervened.

"Actually, they should," she said, "the group called the DM will be most likely causing pranks so it's not like the twins won't be blamed anyways, so why not go out with a bang?"

"You read our minds," said George, smiling at her as Hermione scowled. Buffy then continued.

"I may know some people," she said smilingly, "that would very much like to help you guys out. When do you plan to begin?"

"Monday next week," admitted Fred, "there's not point in disrupting leisure time for us students."

"Ok, I'll talk with the Triumvirate," said Buffy, "see what they can rustle up."

"What about DA meetings?" asked Hermione suddenly, looking at Harry, "should we have any during this week?"

"Yeah, we should schedule some," said Harry brightly, "how's one every day for the members who are still here sound?"

"Sounds like a plan," said Buffy, "Even though exams are coming up, we still need the practice for the fight against Mouldy shorts and his Death Eaters."

"What about Umbridge?" Hermione asked worriedly, "her Squad is going everywhere once school restarts."

"That means they'll be coming into the Towers as well," said Ron, "so nowhere is safe."

"Remember, the Triumvirate are on our side," said Buffy, "so as long as they're with us, they'll be able to keep us from being expelled. Speaking of Umbridge, each of you gets one of these." Buffy said as she handed out some vials.

"What is this?" asked Ron as the others took a vial from Buffy.

"They're truth serum antidotes," said Buffy, "as Umbridge asked Snape to make some Veritaserum for her, so this will come in very handy against that. Remember to give some to Ginny and Neville. Mordred brewed up a lot of it, so if you need more, just ask."

"When do you think she'll try to use it?" asked Harry.

"Probably as soon as tomorrow," replied Buffy, "or as late as next week. I don't know when."

The six of them headed off to bed, with Harry doing some meditation before going to sleep.

On the Tuesday in the library, Ginny supplied Buffy with some chocolate eggs Mrs. Weasley had sent to be given to Buffy and the Triumvirate. As Ginny went over to Harry, Buffy had put the eggs away in her bag for the DA meeting later on that night that Harry had set out for the others, as she thought that that would be a good enough time to give them out. She tried to look over her notes, but her concentration was broken when Madam Pince, the school librarian, chased Harry and Ginny out of the library for eating chocolate. _And I thought Giles was a strict librarian_, mused Buffy as she saw some flying books whacking Harry and Ginny over the heads as they ran off, _at least he allowed us some refreshments_. She then fought down a pang in her stomach, as she realized that she was homesick in spite of all the stuff going on.

During the DA class that day, they worked on Patronuses again, as well as Boggart Banishing spells. Mordred then showed Harry some of his newer spells that he had learned from the Book of Unfound Spells.

"This is called Chain lightening," Mordred explained as he set up some Gnomes in a group, "it's a somewhat complicated spell that can only be done after one learns how to shoot lightening out of their wand. Observe."

Mordred then shot a bolt of lightening out of his wand, hitting the nearest Gnome. It then linked up to another Gnome that was ten feet away from the first, before linking up with another, and another. Soon a whole group of Gnomes were dancing in electrified spasms, as Harry and the others watched while the smell of burnt flesh and hair wafted through the room.

"The name of the incantation for it is _Fulmenseries_," said Mordred after the last of the Gnomes burst into flames and fell to the ground in a smouldering heap, "but I'd suggest we use it on single victims first before trying to chain them together. Otherwise it'll go all over the room and we'll be hitting each other."

The DA then began trying out the spell, with only a few perfecting the first part of it. However, Hermione and some others were disgusted by the use of it on Gnomes.

"Why can't we use it on non-living things?" Hermione asked after clearing up the burnt flesh of one of the Gnomes, "so that we don't torture the beasts?"

"Because the type of Magic used to chain the electricity from one target to another needs it to be similar life forms," said Mordred, "and since we'll be using this on Death Eaters, I suggest we get used to the smell of burnt flesh. They have no problems torturing and killing people, lets not give them the mercies they've refused others."

They then practiced various Charms, such as Gripping Charms, Confundus Charms, and Slug-vomiting (one of the few that Ron was better at than anyone else to start with). When the class ended Mordred went over to the Weasley twins and handed them a large hockey bag filled with Galleons.

"Take it to buy more products," he told them before they could react, "we're gonna need as many explosives as we can get. Also, if possible, you should hire an advisor for your shop. May I suggest Remus Lupin, since you guys owe him a lot since he's one of the people whose map helped you out so much."

"You really want to help out," suggested Ron, "add some more points to your spell. We're almost at zero."

Mordred agreed as Harry looked suspiciously at the money he had given to the twins.

"I take it that's some of the money you stole from the Zabinis?" he asked.

"Yes it is," replied Dawn from behind him, before moving next to Mordred. "How's Sirius doing?"

"Ask him your self," said Harry, pulling out the mirror and saying his name. When Sirius came into view the Triumvirate all crowded around to see him.

"Hi there," he said to the Triumvirate, "although the little stunt you pulled got the Ministry off my back, the Death Eaters still know what to look for."

"Yeah, but we also took out one Death Eater," said Faith, "got some money out of it, gained trust from the Ministry, and sowed some discord among the other Death Eaters. And I even got a little action myself."

"They don't need to hear about that," cautioned Buffy, as Sirius looked on. "Is Lupin around?"

"No, he's out on Order duty," said Sirius, "do you need him?"

"No, we were just wondering if he'd like some of the money we looted," said Mordred, "you can have some as well too. We've got some books that might help us out as well."

"I'll be sure to tell Lupin you have some money," said Sirius, "where are you hiding it?"

"I have it on me," said Mordred, "using a spell I found in my book. I can carry lots of things in my shadow."

"Your shadow?" asked Sirius, to which Mordred just shrugged. "Ok, just send some over using Dobby and Winky. I'm sure they won't mind the extra work." Sirius then stopped as if remembering something.

"What's the Development: Mayhem group?" he asked suddenly, "who's a part of it, and what are they up to?"

"Hey, that would be breaking the first two rules of Development: Mayhem," said Dawn with a mischievous smile, "just know that they're a group that'll make Umbridge's stay here even more painful for her than it is already."

The group then split up as Buffy, Faith and Mordred went to Patrol while the Golden Trio went to their Tower. She worked on her homework and did some studying there, while wondering how her sister and 'cousins' were faring out in their Patrols.

The rest of the week had a DA class every day, as even though they had a lot to study for, as well as Quidditch practices to go to, the DA was seen as the best source for practical defences as well as a gathering area for discussion between the Golden Trio, the Slytherin Triumvirate, and others. On the Wednesday, the group practiced Shield Charms while trying out various attacking spells on the Shielded students. Curses such as the Babbling Curse, the Conjunctivitis Curse, the Sponge-knees Curse, and _Tarantallegra_ were all used to try and break the Shield spells.

"That's very good Neville," said Harry while dancing away to Hermione after Neville's _Tarantallegra _spell got through his shield.

Harry fixed himself up before getting Hermione to work with Neville while he wandered around the room coaching the others. He saw that Mordred's shields were very different than the others, as he didn't use a wand for them. Instead, he just stood there and allowed his partners to shoot spells at him, where they hit an invisible sphere that was four feet around Mordred. Every time a spell would hit, the bubble would absorb whatever spell was sent at him, turning it into energy that radiated around the sphere. Patrolling that week turned into more of a scavenger hunt for the Slayers and Mordred, as Mordred went all over the forest grabbing up items to use in potions while the Slayers were searching for monsters to slay.

On the Thursday during DA, they worked on spells such as _Flagrate_ to mark out areas for them to find, as well as homing spells to locate items of interest. They also worked on performing a Backfiring Jinx on each other's wands, as well as the counter-Jinx for it. Cho was by herself during it, but whenever Harry went near her she ignored him and practiced by herself, even ignoring Luna (who tried to practice with anyone around her) when she came around. Buffy tried to work with Cho but got a cold shoulder from her as well. And Cho literally walked away whenever any of the Triumvirate got anywhere near her, even when they gave Ravenclaw thirty points for a spell Cho did really well. Finally, Dawn had had enough of Chang's attitude, so she went up to Cho and took her aside.

"Hey Cho," she said in a hiss, "I know that your thing with Harry turned to crap, and I know that your friend Edgecombe is terrified of us because of what we did, but we're all here for the same reason and that's to learn on how to defend ourselves. So either drop the bad attitude and get practicing with the others or find somewhere else to be. We did the right thing to Edgecombe, so don't you dare defend her." Chang's eyes welled up with tears, but Dawn just glared into her eyes.

"And don't even try any of that crying crap with me," she whispered in a small growl, "it may work with boys like Harry, but it doesn't with me."

Cho then went over and began practicing with some other Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, but she still stayed clear of the Gryffindors and Slytherins. After the class was finished, Mordred showed the Golden Trio his Spirit Containment Spell on Peeves, who had been floating above them while being his annoying self. He pointed his wand at Peeves, who had been spitting at them with a peashooter, and waved his wand in a counter-clockwise motion.

"_Spiritus Entrapis_!" he said, shooting out a hoop of black electricity that ensnared Peeves into a floating sphere. He then turned to Harry smiling.

"It works on ghosts as well," he said proudly, "just the other day I used it on Myrtle with her permission. She's a good ghost to know when you get through her cover as a constant crier." Mordred then freed Peeves, who then went away shrieking revenge.

"She's always wailing and crying though," Ron said, "how can you be friends with that?"

"She's not as bad as Cho is," countered Mordred, "and Harry was more than a friend with _her_ for a while." Harry merely shrugged. Dawn looked over at him in appreciation.

"It's cool how you don't get bent out of shape over this whole Cho situation," she said admiringly, "most boys get really moody when it comes to things like break ups and such."

"Yeah, Harry's a cool guy," said Hermione, who was at Harry's side. Buffy went to Harry's other side and patted him on the shoulder as they walked down the hallway.

"He's not like other boys at all," Buffy stated smilingly, "he's totally and completely one of the girls!"

Harry's smile turned into a glare as Ron and Mordred both burst into laughter as the two teams parted for their separate dorms.

On Friday, Harry, Buffy, Hermione and Ron were working on their homework and studying when Hermione spoke up a bit.

"You know Harry," she said, "maybe we should lay off the meetings, cut it down to once every two weeks? Exams are coming up very soon, and with some people practicing for Quidditch as well there's just not enough time for DA practices along with everything else. Not to mention Umbridge is looking for any excuse to expel you."

"I'll bring up the idea today during our practice," Harry replied, "but I don't think the others will want to cut it down that much. Not everyone there is a Fifth Year."

Indeed, when Hermione mentioned this idea to the others she was met with howls of protest from most of the people there. Mordred was beside himself with outrage, and he vocalised it the second Hermione was done speaking.

"Hey, we're in Fifth Year too, yah know," he said, "and as far as I'm concerned, this is the most important thing there is for everyone here!"

"He's right," said Neville, surprising even himself for speaking up, "the Death Eaters won't care how good our grades are when they try to attack us, so why should we put this on hold for something as trivial as grades?" The others nodded in agreement.

"We all want to pass our exams," said Ernie Macmillan, "but if we get killed before or after them then our grades won't mean anything to anyone."

"I have an idea," Dawn stated to Harry, "why don't you set up secondary leaders so that the DA can be done in small groups when there's no time to do it all together? That way, we _all_ get the training we need to fight against the Death Eaters."

Harry agreed with Dawn and then used their enthusiasm to go over most of the spells they had been learning so far, getting each student to hone their skills against each other while he determined whom he would pick out as the secondary leaders. Even Cho got more involved in the practice. By the time they were all done, all of them were at least were able to do an acceptable Shield Charm, and their Jinxing, Hexing, and Curses ranged from very good to excellent in Harry's opinion.

During the weekend the Gryffindor and Slytherin Quidditch teams practiced on the Saturday while the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw teams practiced on the Sunday, with the non-practicing teams watching the practicing ones that they were going to face off against soon. Harry was snuck out during the Saturday night by the Slayers and Mordred to get to Gringotts with Lupin, there Mordred divvied up some of his loot to Harry's, Sirius' and Lupin's bank accounts before they went back to Hogwarts.

On the Monday, each Fifth Year had to attend a meeting during the day with their Head of House to discuss their future jobs when they got out of Hogwarts, and what types of N.E.W.T. courses they should take. When Mordred went off to his meeting during History class, Buffy tapped Harry on the shoulder to get his attention.

"What you should do is ask about becoming a teacher," she suggested to Harry as Professor Binns droned on in the background, "Since you're pretty good at teaching."

"But I already want to become an Auror," said Harry.

"Moody was offered the job and he was an Auror," said Buffy, "besides, Umbridge will flip out when you mention becoming a teacher."

"How do you know Umbridge will be there?" asked Harry, "I thought only the Head of House would be there?"

"It's just a hunch," said Buffy, "but my guess is Umbridge will be hovering around you and McGonagall when your interview happens, as she'll want to discourage you regardless of what you want to become."

During Potions class while Snape was shooting confused looks at Mordred, Buffy was called to McGonagall's office, whom she found sitting at her desk with a mound of paperwork in front of her. McGonagall began as soon as Buffy sat down.

"Well, Summers, this meeting is to talk over any career ideas you might have, and to help you decide which subjects you should continue into the sixth and seventh years," said McGonagall. "Have you had any thoughts about what you would like to do after you leave Hogwarts?"

"I was thinking of becoming a Vampire Hunter," said Buffy smoothly, even though it felt like a joke to say hunter instead of Slayer.

"You'd need top grades for that," said Professor McGonagall with a smile, extracting a small, dark leaflet from under the mass on her desk and opening it. "The Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures ask for a minimum of four N.E.W.T.s, and nothing under 'Exceeds Expectations' grade, I see." She then looked through her papers, looking for the requirements for a Vampire Hunter.

"Vampire Hunting may seem like a flashy job, especially since you're already a proficient Vampire Slayer," McGonagall said, "but it is a very difficult and sometimes thankless one for those who actually know what they're doing."

"Tell me about it," said Buffy under her breath.

"You'll need high marks in Defence Against the Dark Arts," said McGonagall, "and I would also advise Transfiguration, because Vampire Hunters sometimes need to Transfigure or Untransfigure at times. And I ought to tell you now, Summers, that I do not accept students into my N.E.W.T. classes unless they have achieved 'Exceeds Expectations' or higher at Ordinary Wizarding Level. I'd say you're averaging 'Acceptable' at the moment, so you'll need to put in some good hard work before the exams to stand a chance of continuing. Then you ought to do Charms, which are always useful, and Potions, as potions and antidotes are essential study for Vampire Hunters. And I must tell you that Professor Snape absolutely refuses to take students who get anything other than 'Outstanding' in their O.W.L.s, so if I were you I'd put a lot of extra work into his classes. Care of Magical Creatures, although helpful, remains an optional course although I'd suggest you don't slack it off as it does have some very useful techniques in dealing with aggressive creatures such as Vampires." McGonagall then looked directly at Buffy.

"I must warn you of the physical dangers as well as the mental ones. It's not always hunt and kill, as sometimes you have to just capture the Vampire in question for others to deal with. Although some people will reward you, not everyone is happy with Vampire Hunting, as the Society for the Tolerance of Vampires has been advocating that we leave them alone to their own businesses for quite some time now." Said McGonagall sternly. "I would advise you to concentrate hard on bringing your Transfiguration and Potions up to scratch. Your Charms and Care of Magical Creature marks are both in the 'Outstanding' section, so just keep doing well at both classes. As for Defence Against the Dark Arts, due to Professor Umbridge's style of teaching it seems that no one has really been graded yet, although I'm sure with a little practice you'll do well in the practical work. Do you have any questions?"

"How about catching Dark Wizards and criminals?" asked Buffy, "can I do that as well?"

"No, you're thinking Auror or Hit-Witch," said McGonagall, "which is done by the Magical Law Enforcement Squad. They ask for a minimum of _five_ O.W.L.s each instead of four, including Defence Against the Dark Arts. They require that applicants be over 17 years of age and 'not of a nervous disposition'."

"Is it ok for me to apply for more than one job?" asked Buffy curiously.

"Yes it is ok," said McGonagall, "but I suggest that the jobs you apply for be related as taking too many courses has a tendency of breaking even the best of our students."

"Ok, thanks." Said Buffy, and she was sent out of McGonagall's office.

She managed to run into Faith after Potions, and told her what to expect if she applied for the same jobs Buffy had applied for. Faith thanked her as she went to Snape's office while Buffy went to Divination class. In Snape's office, Faith found Snape sitting at his desk looking over the papers that he had with him.

"Sit down, Lehane," he ordered with a whisper, "and tell me what you would like to become when after you leave Hogwarts."

"I was thinking of becoming a Hit-Witch as well as a Vampire Hunter," said Faith confidently. Snape sneered at her before answering.

"I see you like the idea of getting 700 Galleons a month, as well as the fame associated with Vampire Hunting," Snape said, "at least you seem to have an idea as to what you want to become, as opposed to your cousin Mordred." Snape then frowned before continuing.

"I suppose you have been talking to your cousin Buffy Summers?" Snape asked knowingly, "and have decided, that, due to you both being Slayers, that the job of Vampire Hunter will not only help keep your identity as a Slayer secret but also get you some extra money? Very ambitious of you." Snape gave a wry smile before continuing.

"You'll need high marks in Defence Against the Dark Arts," said Snape, "and I would also advise Potions, as potions and antidotes are essential study for Vampire Hunters. And I should warn you now, Lehane, that I do not accept students into my N.E.W.T. classes unless they have achieved 'Outstanding' in their O.W.L.s, although you and the other three members for your Triumvirate seem to be easily pulling in 'Outstanding' in Potions classes." He then shuffled some papers before continuing as Faith gulped.

"Transfiguration would be necessary as Vampire Hunters sometimes need to Transfigure or Untransfigure at times. Since you are averaging 'Acceptable' at the moment like your cousin Buffy, you'll need to put in some good hard work before the exams to stand a chance of continuing. Then you ought to do Charms, which are also useful, and Care of Magical Creatures, as it does have some very useful techniques in dealing with aggressive creatures such as Vampires." Snape then looked over Faith. Faith cleared her throat and then spoke up.

"Who else knows B and I are Slayers?" she asked. Snape sneered and rolled his eyes before answering.

"Key members of the Order know," he replied, "and your Slaying of many various creatures every night has gotten the attention of the Death Eaters, so they too know that there is a powerful person. They do not believe it's a Slayer, let alone two, yet, although it is only a matter of time before they _do_ find out. Do you have any other questions?"

"Yeah, I do," Faith said, "how well do you think B and I will do against Death Eaters or Dark Wizards in general in a fight?"

"That depends on how surprised they'll be when you reveal yourselves," Snape said, "there is a certain group who has been trying to join the Death Eaters that know about you, but they're being very tight-lipped about it. The Dark Lord has other concerns at the moment that don't deal with extinct beings coming back to life, other than that I will not say. This concludes our meeting."

Faith thanked him and left, running into Harry as they both entered the Great Hall. He was smiling to himself as he walked over to Buffy, Hermione, and Ron.

"Thanks Buffy," he said to her as he sat down, "that was a brilliant idea you had."

"What happened?" asked Hermione curiously. Ron leaned in to listen as Harry whispered to them all about what happened.

"Well, after I told McGonagall and Umbridge that I wanted to become an Auror, Umbridge tried to shoot the idea down every way she could," Harry said, "from saying I have a criminal record, poor marks in her class, and other nasty things. Then, when I suggested becoming a teacher here in Hogwarts like you suggested I do, her entire head ballooned up and she began foaming at the mouth. It was incredible." He finished with a grin as the others smiled back at him. Only Hermione looked worried at what had happened.

"You do realize that this will only make her try harder to expel you?" she asked, but before Harry could answer Buffy interjected herself into the conversation.

"What with the so-called 'DM' coming about," Buffy said, "I think there'll be more on Umbridge's plate than she can handle. She's going to be a bit too busy to bother detaining Harry every night."

When they all got to DADA class Umbridge came in huffing and puffing as if she had run a race, and before she began class she drank some water that was on her table when she entered the classroom. She gave her false cough before beginning, but the moment she tried to speak she began really coughing. The small coughs progressed into larger ones, finally ending with her coughing so hard that she dropped to her knees and began whooping for air. One of the Slytherin students went to fetch the school nurse while the others looked at the pitcher of water that was on her table. Words began to appear under the Smiley Face on it as they all crowded around the table.

"Greetings from Development: Mayhem," the note read as Umbridge began coughing up blood and retching violently, "in appreciation for what you have done for us, we figured that you would prefer a nice drink while you read this. It has been said that a person can swallow a pint of blood before he or she gets sick, but that leads to one to wonder how much blood a person can spit up before they get sick? Is it a pint, two, or ten? So, in the name of experimentation, we've whipped up a brew to see how much of your own blood you can spit up for us and still remain conscious. It won't kill you, as that would be no fun at all and would ruin future experiments we have in store for you. However, it might just make blood ppour out of other holes that you already have, as this is an experiment and susceptible to mistakes. Thank you for being our main test subject (there will be others) and have a nice day."

Umbridge's nose and eyes began gushing red streams now as she began vomiting blood onto the floor, covering the ground and a few student's feet in dark crimson liquid. The nurse rushed into the class and Levitated Umbridge and the glass away with her to the hospital wing, leaving the class without a teacher.

Dawn had to go to Snape's office, so she wasn't able to see what else had transpired afterwards. She made a mental note to herself as she walked down the corridors to Snape's dungeon to ask Faith and Mordred about it. When she entered into Snape's office she found him sitting behind the table, waiting for her. When she sat down he asked her what she wanted to become after Hogwarts.

"Well," she said slowly, "I thought of, maybe, being an Auror."

"You'd need top grades for that," said Professor Snape, extracting a small, dark leaflet from under the notes on his and opening it. "They ask for a minimum of five N.E.W.T.s, and nothing under 'Exceeds Expectations' grade. Then you would be required to undergo a stringent series of character and aptitude tests at the Auror office. It's a difficult career path, Summers, as they only take the best. In fact, nobody has been taken on in the last three years. What do you know about it so far?"

"I know that I'll need Defence Against the Dark Arts," said Dawn, "as well as Transfiguration, because Aurors frequently need to Transfigure or Untransfigure on their work. And I'll need Charms, and your course in Potions as well, for potions and antidotes are very useful for Aurors. And I know that the character and aptitude tests at the Auror office will include the need to demonstrate the ability to react well to pressure and so forth with perseverance and dedication, because Auror training takes a further three years, not to mention very high skills in practical Defence. It will mean a lot more study even after I've left school, so that means I'll have to stick with it whatever happens." Snape smiled at her in a rare, warm way before answering.

"Very correct," he said, "from the sounds of it you seem to be more ready for it than most other people are even after three years of post-educational studies." He then leaned in close to her.

"Your ambition and cunning will do Slytherin proud," he said to her, "and they will both lead you to whatever successes you should envision for yourself. Do you have any questions?"

Before Dawn could answer, there was a loud rapping at the door. Professor Snape looked up as Draco poked his head in.

"Professor," he said breathlessly, "Madam Pomfrey needs your help. Headmistress Umbridge has been poisoned!"

Snape leapt to his feet and went to the door as Dawn waited until they were gone before going to the Slytherin Dungeon where she found Mordred and Faith going over their notes. Mordred was scribbling into some parchment various spells and potions he learned from his books as Faith looked up at Dawn.

"How'd the interview go D?" Faith asked curiously as Mordred finished up his scribbling and looked at Dawn.

"It went really well," said Dawn, "until Professor Snape had to be called away for Umbridge. What did you put in her drink anyways?"

"I modified one of the Weasley twins Nosebleed Nougats to cause all orifices to bleed instead of just the nose, and I mixed it with a Puking Pastille and Fever Fudge as well as the antidote to the Fainting Fancy. I also added some of the venom taken from Mr. Weasley, although I diluted it enough to keep her alive. The Fainting Fancy antidote will keep her awake for a long time, so she'll probably spend the rest of the night puking and bleeding. What do you think of it?"

"On any other person, I'd say it was really cruel," said Dawn, "but on Umbridge it's just the right thing. You sure it won't kill her?"

"Absolutely sure," Mordred said proudly, "all I have to do is feed her the antidote I made here, which I will do sometime tomorrow. You wait and see, as today marks the beginning of the reign of Development: Mayhem."


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38: Mayhem Marathon Materializes**

As Mordred predicted, the week did indeed herald the start of Development: Mayhems shenanigans, as the products from the Triple W were all modified slightly by the Slytherin Triumvirate. On the Tuesday morning during first period, several huge explosions shook the school, as on various floors several crates of fireworks were all set off at the exact same time. Dragons made of green and gold sparks soared through the air, spitting fiery blasts as they went; shocking-pink Catherine wheels five feet in diameter were whizzing lethally through the air like so many flying saucers; rockets with long tails of silver stars bounced off the walls; sparklers wrote swear words in the air that stuck, firecrackers exploded like mines, gaining in energy and momentum as they went. When Umbridge tried to Stupefy one of the rockets, it exploded with such force that it knocked everyone in the hall down while tearing a hole in several of the portraits. When one of the IS members tried to Vanish one of the rockets, it multiplied into ten rockets that zoomed all around the area, crashing into one another and destroying the area.

While Umbridge and most of her IS members were busy with the explosions, the walls of the school were spray painted with various messages, some of which were on fire. The students and teachers all looked at the messages as they dodged the fireworks.

"'All Your Base Are Belong To Us'?" Ron read with curiosity as he, Harry, Hermione and Buffy walked down the corridors to their Transfigurations class, "what sort of mixed up nutter would write _that_ on the wall?"

"You should see what's been written in and around the girl's washroom," said Hermione before reciting some of the ones she read, "'Nobody dies a virgin, life screws us all.' 'Self-improvement is masturbation, Self-destruction is the only real answer.' 'The beatings will continue until morale improves.' I mean honestly, whoever wrote those is obviously perverted beyond belief."

"Not to mention extremely depressing," said Harry as they went into the class, "the things I read on some of the walls had such cheerful messages like 'Only after disaster can we be resurrected', 'It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything', and 'On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero'. Whoever wrote that sounds almost suicidal."

"Can you blame them with Umbridge as Headmistress?" asked Ron as Neville came over to sit with them, "I think I kinda get the message 'This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time' now."

"You guys should have seen Filch try to wash the messages off," said Neville excitedly, "every time he wetted the letters they'd burst into flames. His buckets all caught on fire and he had to cover them all up with dirt."

"Sounds sorta like Napalm," said Buffy, drawing blank looks from Ron and Neville. She then explained what Napalm did to the two bewildered students.

"It's creepy when the messages 'Cthulhu lives', and 'We Are Watching You' all glow in the dark or burst into flames," said Neville with a shudder, "I mean, the one about watching us even has an eye that moves wherever you go."

"That's just it moving back and forth," said Hermione, but Ron then tapped her shoulder.

"Actually, I've seen it," he said, "and it _does_ follow you around wherever you go."

"Must have a motion-sensing spell on it," said Harry, "like some Muggle cars do." He was about to explain some more when one of the firework Dragons flew into the room, emitting loud bangs and spouting flames.

"Miss Brown," asked McGonagall sardonically, "would you mind running to the Headmistress and informing her that we have an escaped firework in our classroom?"

It turned out that all the teachers had taken to getting Umbridge to take care of the various fireworks that had gone about the school. She spent the entire day running from classroom to classroom, answering the summons of all the teachers who waited on her to take care of the fireworks for them. Their collective excuse for not taking care of the fireworks themselves was that they 'weren't sure if they had the _authority_ to take care of the fireworks due to Decree #26'. By the time Umbridge sat down at lunch, she was covered in soot, sweat and blood.

"She seems to be having an awful time," said Hermione as Buffy, Harry, and Ron all began eating their food. Hermione had just begun tucking into her own meat pie when Umbridge began gagging.

The students and teachers all watched as her tongue swelled up to ten times its' normal size and dropped into her plate before turning green and sprouting horns. She tried to lift her head up, but the horns had poked into and locked on the table, and she could only stare on in fear and pain as her tongue quickly dried out and began cracking and emitting pus and blood from the cracks. She cut her hands on the horns while trying to wrench her tongue off of the table, but she only succeeded in breaking off pieces of her tongue up in the process. She was assisted by the IS, who cut their hands grabbing up her tongue as they tried to move her to the hospital wing, accidentally breaking pieces of her tongue off as they went along. A picture of her was taken and used by the Weasley twins to help sell their Ton-Tongue Toffees, along with some horn-growing powder added by the Development: Mayhem.

As the weeks went on, it became routine that Umbridge would be poisoned by one of their products, be it in her tea she took in the morning, during lunch, dinner, or anytime she fancied a snack. It also became common for her to miss her own classes in the following weeks due to her being covered in bleeding warts, her bones disappearing in various limbs, or her evacuating blood from every orifice available on her while her body warped into whatever hideous design caused by the products spiked into her food. She attacked the House Elves, the students, her fellow Professors, and anyone who was around her after Madam Pomfrey cured her each time.

On the Friday, the Weasley twins decided to pull their final prank there, putting a Portable Swamp into the fifth floor of the east wing of the school. They set it up so that it would go off during one of Filch's inspections there, causing him to become mired in the swamp as it grew all around him and covered the entire area of the school corridor into a smelly swamp. Before they could get too far however, the IS caught up with them outside the Great Hall, costing the Gryffindor team two hundred points in total. The Twins looked over the IS as Umbridge came running over as fast as her stubby legs could carry her.

"So," she wheezed, as she had just been cured from yet another one of the poisoned food items she had taken, "you two think it is amusing to turn a school corridor into a swamp, while you believe another of your products has left me too incapacitated to do anything about it?"

"Well, we do have to admit," said Fred in a fearless manner, "that without you we probably wouldn't have been able to sell as many Skiving Snack Boxes as we have."

"Your pictures have allowed us to triple our sales at the very least," said George, "and for that we figured what better way to thank you than to make something that's almost as foul, disgusting, smelly and useless as you are? Hence, the swamp."

"Granted it may not be as disgusting and foul," said Fred daringly.

"Or smelly and useless," added George, smiling wickedly.

"As you are," said Fred with a grin.

"But it's the closest thing we could come up with!" They both said in tandem. Umbridge's face went crimson red as she clutched her wand in fury.

"A further one hundred points off of Gryffindor. You two," she said gazing at Fred and George, "are about to learn what happens to wrong-doers in my school."

"You know what?" said Fred as he turned to his twin, "I don't think we are."

"What?" Umbridge asked, the shock of him keeping his cool completely baffling her. "Sixty points off of Gryffindor!"

"George," said Fred, "I think we've outgrown full-time education."

"Seventy points off of Gryffindor!" shouted Umbridge, but the twins ignored her.

"Yeah," said George lightly, "I've been feeling that way myself."

"Another sixty points off of Gryffindor!" shrieked Umbridge.

"Time to test our talents in the real world, d' you reckon?" asked Fred.

"Definitely," said George.

And before Umbridge could say another word, they raised their wands and said together: '_Accio brooms!_'

A loud crash came from Umbridge's office as two Cleansweep brooms came flying through her door, one of them trailing a heavy chain and iron peg off of it. They both stopped in front of the twins after ploughing over some IS members. Umbridge was so shocked she forgot to continue taking points off of Gryffindor.

"We won't be seeing you," Fred told Professor Umbridge as he swung his leg over his broomstick.

"Yeah," said George, as he mounted his own, "don't bother to keep in touch."

Fred looked around at the assembled students, and at the silent, watchful crowd.

"If anyone fancies buying a Portable Swamp, as demonstrated on the east wing corridor on the fifth floor, come to number ninety-three, Diagon Alley," he said in a loud voice, "Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, which is our new premises!"

"Special discounts to Hogwarts students," added George before pointing at Professor Umbridge, "Who swear they're going to use our products to get rid of this fat old bitch."

"STOP THEM!" shrieked Umbridge, but it was too late.

As the IS closed in, the Weasley twins kicked off from the floor, shooting fifteen feet into the air, the iron peg swinging dangerously below. Fred looked across the hall at Peeves the Poltergeist, who was bobbing on his level above the crowd.

"Give her hell from us, Peeves." He shouted over the din.

Peeves responded by taking his belled hat from his head and springing to a salute as the Weasley twins tossed some dung bombs at Umbridge to tumultuous applause from the students below before turning around and flying out of the open front doors into the glorious sunset. Umbridge then glared at the IS, before stomping away while ignoring the pleas for help that Filch gave her from his spot in the center of the swamp. The IS took the time to try taking away more points, but after several members got Jinxed and Hexed by unknown students they cleared out, with the Triumvirate leaving last after each awarding Gryffindor sixty points under their breaths before hitting poor Filch with a Silencing Charm and a Full-Body Bind Jinx while a Garrotting Gas fog filled the air in the swamp.

After that, it only got worse for Umbridge and her IS, as they all ended up getting their food spiked by various Skiving Box items or Cursed randomly by passing non-members. The Triumvirate were immune, as they pointed out that they were using Taltos's venom to toughen themselves against tainted foods as well as PaniChaos' tears to help them heal. Whenever Umbridge tried to teach her classes, all of her students claimed illness, with non-IS members (including a few Slytherins) claiming it was 'Umbridgeitis' as everyone was using Skiving Snack Boxes to develop symptoms such as fainting, vomiting, develop dangerous fevers or spout blood from their nostrils or mouth. Umbridge tried to hand out detentions, but when the IS members also began exhibiting symptoms (as their food was being spiked) she had no choice but to allow the afflicted students to leave in droves. DA members used this time to work on spells in smaller groups, so although Harry led main ones once a week, other smaller ones were self-run by others who wanted to practice the spells they learned during lessons. All that they needed was one member of the Triumvirate to watch over them so they wouldn't get caught, and the groups flourished. Even Umbridge's own office was no sanctuary for her, as Nifflers were placed in there by students, causing not only the destruction of her office through the Niffler's search for shiny objects, but also attacking Umbridge whenever she appeared, due to her rings and jewellery. A cage of Cornish Pixies was floated under her chair by Faith one night so that the next day they'd damage Umbridge's office when they woke up.

Mordred set off that night to 'go do something special' as he told the others, leaving the Slayers, Dawn, and the Golden Trio to wonder what he had in mind. During the weekend the Slayers Patrolled with Spike, while Dawn thought up of some new ways to help Mordred cause havoc while adding points to all the teams (even though the three other Houses were all losing points so fast any points she and Faith added just disappeared within an hour afterwards).

On the Monday, Mordred came back to a Hogwarts that had a massive cloud overhead. When the others asked what he had been up to he only smiled and looked up into the sky, as if looking for something. During the lunch, Draco went missing for a bit while Mordred went to the top of the Astronomy Tower with Draco's wand. When the Triumvirate were sure no one else was watching, he then shot a brown bolt of energy into the clouds above them, Conjuring an immense glowing Monkey head with wings for ears in the sky. It opened up its mouth and from it poured a swarm of flying Demon-monkeys so thick it was black in appearance. Mordred dropped Draco's wand and ran off with the Triumvirate down to Snape's office as the creatures attacked Hogwarts. They burst through all the outside windows in one shove and began attacking everything and everyone they could. While some of the DA members hid in the Room of Requirement, Buffy stood with the Golden Trio in defending Gryffindor Tower. The Triumvirate formed a circle with Snape and blasted the creatures as they came to them. The flying Demon-monkeys then attacked Umbridge and lifted her into the air before flying over the lake and dropping her into it. They repeated the same process to other IS members except Malfoy, whom they left alone for some unknown reason, as well as Edgecombe and a few other students (most had fled back to their dorm rooms to defend their turfs, with Hufflepuff and Slytherin both having the advantage of having Dungeons instead of Towers to defend.) The Heads of House mostly defended their own turfs, with the Triumvirate helping out Snape, as they watched the flying Demon-monkeys' attack everything. The flying Demon-monkeys flooded the bathrooms with Peeves and Myrtle's help, as they both wanted to help cause havoc as well. The flying Demon-monkeys then used cans of paint that combusted with water to set the flooded areas aflame, leaving entire halls to burn out of control.

The Heads of House, along with some students and staff, waited a while before acting, as they wanted Umbridge to try and solve the problems herself. The Heads all got together and closed off the burning halls with Magic, leaching the air out of the areas so that the fires died out on their own. They then set up a spell that the Triumvirate had used with Snape to create a giant ball of sunshine, which they used to fry all of the flying Demon-monkeys into burnt goop as they went all over the school. By the end of the day, not a single area of the school was spared, as there was destruction and burnt goop everywhere. There was also a message in the sky that was being written by the remaining flying Demon-monkeys.

"'Surrender Dorothy'?" read Ron as the students and teachers all looked at the cloud-formed words being made in the sky. "Who's Dorothy?"

"No, it says 'Surrender Dolores'", said Hermione as she pointed, "the 'Dorothy' is being crossed out. Guess they can't spell that well." Buffy however burst out laughing at the message, as did Dawn and Faith. Dawn punched Mordred in the shoulder.

"You just had to add that reference, didn't you?" she asked grinning at him, "as if there weren't enough Wizard of Oz references as it is."

"Maybe I'll go hang a midget," said Mordred grinning evilly, "just to give this the right touch."

"Don't you _dare_," said Faith, "the only midget around is Flitwick, and I kinda like his class."

"Ok, I'll hang some Gnomes and Dwarves instead," said Mordred, as they headed off to their dorm to help clean up. "I hope Umbridge finds Draco's wand, it'll be funny seeing him try to explain his way out of this."

"_How did you make those things_?" asked Dawn in a whisper. Mordred then grinned wickedly.

"_I used that Cross-breeding spell that was mentioned back at that debate to mutate some Gremlins with flying monkeys_," he said, "_so that they'd be quick to make as well as quick to kill if there was too many of them. Just add water to make them and sunlight to kill them."_

That got Dawn to laugh, as she then told Faith who went on to tell Buffy during Patrolling that night. When she came back, she told the Golden Trio that night, getting a laugh from Ron while Hermione looked on in worry.

"How did Mordred manage to cross-breed those species?" she asked curiously, "Gremlins don't mate as they multiply in water, so how did he manage to get the flying monkeys to go through pregnancy with them?"

"I didn't ask," said Buffy disgustedly, "it's too icky for me to think about."

The next day, Umbridge had the entire school line up in the Great Hall before breakfast (trying to ignore the corpses of the hanged Gnomes and Dwarves that were now decorating the ceiling instead of candles), and she and some Aurors checked everyone for missing wands as she held onto the wand found in the Astronomy Tower. She checked the Gryffindors first, triple checking Harry's and only leaving him when the Aurors suggested he might have had someone else do it for him. Slytherin she ignored until last, and only at the urging of Auror Shacklebolt did she even bother looking over the Slytherins.

"You don't want the Ministry to think you're giving preferential treatment, do you?" he asked smoothly. She then went to the first in line, and she tested each one. She went for a while, until she got to around Malfoy and his goons.

"Crabbe, do a spell," she ordered before watching him to a spell to her satisfaction. "Malfoy, your turn."

But when Draco tried to do a spell, his wand jumped out of his hands and began beating him over the head.

"It's one of the fake wands," whispered a grinning Ron to the others, "the twins would love to hear that Malfoy got beaten up with one of their wands."

When Umbridge showed Draco his wand, he snatched it from her hand to the shock of everyone.

"I didn't do that spell," he whined, "I'm being _framed_."

He was then led off to Umbridge's office, proclaiming his innocence the entire way.

"Bet his father gets him off," said Hermione with a frown, "he practically owns the Ministry as it is."

Sure enough, the next day Draco was let off and apologized to by Umbridge via a one hundred point bonus to Slytherin. She then told the IS to redouble their efforts in finding out the DM, as she believed it was they who had caused this mess. There were still a few flying Demon-monkeys fluttering around the school, so the IS were made to attack them whenever they saw them, and Umbridge had become even more paranoid, as someone had used Elf-like Magic on her slippers and shoes to make her Apparate over the Forest, where she fell into the trees just outside of Hogwarts grounds.

"I hope she lands on top of the Centaur herd," said Hermione as they watched Umbridge suddenly disappear during a mid-lunch rant as she was stomping her foot. "I'd love to see the Centaurs' reaction when she insults them for being part-human."

This happened several times that day; until she stopped wearing shoes altogether. This gave some students the idea to Transfigure mice and insects to have spikes on their backs and to follow her around, so that by the time dinner came around she was bleeding profusely all over her feet and limping visibly while leaving a trail of bloody footprints wherever she went. Hermione was even getting into it as well, creating some small birds that Buffy attached exploding devices to go attack Umbridge.

"It serves her right," she said to Harry and Ron in the library, "after all those cruel things she's said and done to half-humans."

"Aren't you worried you'll get caught?" asked Ron, although not to concernedly as he was grinning after Hermione had sent off her birds.

"Not really," Hermione replied, "after all, just some time ago somebody Transfigured all the Dragon statues to fly around her and attack her. The gargoyle statue now attacks her whenever she gets anywhere near it, and Peeves is always throwing stuff at her from above."

The two boys laughed along with Hermione.

"You're forgetting the best part," said Buffy, grinning wickedly. "Whenever she goes to the bathroom, Myrtle sets up the toilet she's on to spray water every time she sits on one. It's a free enema with every pee." The others went into howls of laughter at this, getting a very irritated Madam Pince to shush them all up so others could study.

During Patrolling that night, Buffy asked Faith and Mordred what they had on plans for next.

"As much fun as all this bashing Umbridge is," she said evenly, "we _do_ have to pass some exams that are coming soon, not to mention practice for the final two Quidditch games."

"Yeah, I know," said Mordred, "I've been thinking about what to do next, and after seeing all the points we've added being taken away I believe that now is the time to make our points system raise to 'ten points per minute'," he said with a wave of his wand, "as that will help your House, as well as the others, get back some of the points they've lost so far."

"Thanks," said Buffy, "I really appreciate that."

"Yeah, I do believe that kindness should earn an extra 'fifty points to our own House of Slytherin'," said Faith with a grin while waving her own wand.

"Let's make that 'eighty points to Slytherin'," Mordred said with a broad smile as Buffy then shook her head at him.

"Don't break your arms patting yourselves on the backs," she said warily, "how many points does your team have now? Several million?"

"Almost that," replied Mordred, who then did some rough calculations in his head. "Let's see, since April when it began we've been adding at least five hundred points a day, more or less from each member giving anywhere from ten to sixty points in a day, so after almost two months we've gotten about thirty thousand points, not including the ones given to us by Umbridge and Professor Snape."

"Not to mention all the other Professors," added Buffy.

"They have been taking away more points than they've been giving," said Mordred, "just the other day Slytherin lost sixty points from McGonagall just because Draco was stupid enough to talk back to her during class. But then again, he just added those points back right then and there, causing McGonagall to go into a fit." The three of them then found some small-time monsters like Mumblers and Boggles to Slay, before heading back to the Castle.

The next day, during break before Transfiguration class, Umbridge's office was destroyed during lunch, as a massive explosion of fireworks was set off after Dawn had Levitated them through her window and into the fireplace, where it was set off via Faith simply tapping into the Floo network there from the Slytherin dorm. All of her cat pictures were destroyed, and every flammable item was burned into ashes. Her fireplace was destroyed and caved in, and her own owl was killed, leaving her with no way to contact the Ministry save through the school owls. She had been driven from her own office, and as the anonymous assailants were harassing her, she received no help at all from the other staff members. Filch was still stuck up to his waist in the corridor swamp, which the students now avoided except for some for them to send random Hexes and insults his way, so he was no help to Umbridge. The other teachers didn't help her either, as Buffy had noticed with Harry one time that when Peeves was trying to loosen a crystal chandelier, McGonagall had been there whispering instructions on how to do it properly to him from the corner of her mouth. Also by that time, the students had all taken to performing Bubble-Headed Charms on themselves, as Dung bombs and Stink Pellets were dropped by so many of them that by the time somebody had gotten rid of one, five others took their place.

"It's too bad that Slytherin gets to play their last game after we do," said Ron on Thursday before practice, "I mean, the original system made sense, as each team got a break before playing again, instead of back-to-back like this."

"Yeah, Umbridge really screwed everyone over," said Hermione darkly, "except for Slytherin. I guess she wanted them on her side so the best way to get them on her side was to make sure that they had a chance to win the Quidditch Cup."

"You must be proud of your sister and cousin's accomplishments," said Harry to Buffy, "I mean, they've only scored about a Zillion points for Slytherin during the Slytherin-Ravenclaw match, and since we have to play next, even if we do win your sister Dawn will make sure that she only gets the Snitch after Faith has knocked out the Hufflepuff Seeker and Keeper. Mordred has blocked every shot taken at him so far, he moves too fast for any penalties to be scored on him."

"Oh well," said Buffy, "there's always next year." This got scowls from Harry and Ron before she clarified. "I mean, next year there'll be no Umbridge, Rumpletore will be back, and the Quidditch schedule will be back to the way it was."

"How is it you can say Quidditch properly," asked Harry keenly, "but you get sloppy with Dumbledore's and Voldemort's names?"

"Don't know why," replied Buffy, "but I have some news as well from Patrolling; Mordred will be teaming up with Lee again to commentate this Saturday."

"That's kind of good," said Hermione, "both of them have been itching to have a go at one another verbally ever since the Hufflepuff-Ravenclaw match, as this is Lee's last year here."

During practice, Harry and Hermione watched from the sidelines across from Umbridge and the Slytherin team. The Slytherins had taken up to singing their anti-Weasley song while the Gryffindors came out, but various things happening to Umbridge disrupted them. First, when she went to sit down, her seat trapped her in ropes and carried her to the top of the row, where it dropped off and fell to the ground fifty feet below. When Draco tried to stop it with a Levitation Charm, it exploded into flames, burning Umbridge on the way down to the ground. When other IS members doused her with water from their wands, the fire turned into ice, freezing her solid. She had to be carted away to the hospital wing while the IS looked on, allowing Ron and the other Gryffindor Quidditch players to practice in peace for at least a half-hour before returning to their song of "Weasley King".

On the Friday, the Slytherin team had practice so the DA meeting was held late in the evening. Cho didn't show since her team was practicing as well, and several other Ravenclaws didn't show either except for Luna, who had come to their meeting wearing the Raven-Hat that Mordred had made for her. During the class they went over various spells they had learned in pairs. When Hermione and Ron had to patrol the hallways due to their Prefect duties, Mordred teamed up with Harry to practice Disarming, but once they were out of sight he began chatting while practicing.

"_Hermione and Ron better be snogging their brains out_," said Mordred exaggeratedly, "_or doing other things that involve that. I'm not picky._"

"_You're an awfully romantic guy for a Slytherin."_ Said Harry, causing Mordred to shrug.

"_Hey, it's Slytherin ambition which brought me through this_," said Mordred, "_and Slytherin cunning that made me plan this out._"

Hermione and Ron both then came back to the surprise of Mordred.

"We walked around the halls," Hermione said, "and everywhere we go, there are messages spray painted all over the walls."

"Yeah, and they have the most mental sayings on them." Complained Ron.

"Nothing else happened?" Asked Mordred pointedly.

"What else could happen?" asked Ron, dumbfounded.

"_Damn it_!" cried out Mordred, causing Ron and Hermione to look at him strangely while Harry laughed. Later on, when Harry had the chance to observe Mordred and Dawn practicing, he spoke with them in Parselmouth in between spells.

"_Why are you lot so interested in Hermione and Ron dating each other?"_ asked Harry curiously.

"_We've got a bet going_," said Mordred, "_I bet Dawn that Ron will be the one to snog Hermione first . ._ ."

"_And I bet that it'll be Hermione that snogs Ron first_." Finished Dawn.

"_So_," said Harry thoughtfully, "_either way the end result is them snogging?"_

"_Or shagging_," replied Mordred, "_that'd be even better with some cameras going."_

"_Even at the best of times_," said Harry disgustedly, "_your crudeness and vile sense of humour shine through."_

"_It's too bad you're no longer the Gryffindor Seeker and still dating Cho_," said Mordred, "_otherwise tomorrow I'd be able to commentate on the various sexual positions you two would be in on your broomsticks about a thousand feet in the air."_

"_You're disgusting,"_ said Harry as he left Mordred and Dawn to practice before moving on to Buffy and Faith.

Mordred had switched up with Ron, as Dawn practiced with Hermione. Dawn and Hermione practiced Disarming and Shield Spells while Mordred and Ron practiced Disarming spells, with Mordred and Ron chatting about Quidditch each time they disarmed one another.

"Well, at least I can't get any worse at Keeping," said Ron grimly as Mordred passed him back his wand, "I mean, I might get sick before the game but that's natural."

"Sure it is," said Mordred encouragingly, "I puke before every game."

"Really?" asked Ron with a surprised look on his face.

"Yeah, it makes one hungry for the win," he said nonchalantly, "and it also keeps Chasers away from you, as yah smell kinda awful after a good vomiting session. I highly recommend it." Ron went a shade of green before trying to disarm Mordred, but was blocked by Mordred's auto-shield which absorbed Ron's Disarming spell.

"I wish I could do that," said Ron dejectedly. Mordred just shrugged before Disarming Ron again. Meanwhile, Hermione and Dawn had both begun practicing Conjuring small animals, which they directed at one another.

"_Avis_!" said Hermione, Conjuring a flock of small birds from the tip of her wand. She then pointed her wand at Dawn. "_Oppugno!_" she cried, sending them after Dawn.

Dawn blocked them using a Shield spell before Freezing them all, she then performed a quick Memory Charm on them and redirected them back at Hermione, who was only just able to put up a shield of her own in time to deflect them.

"It seems we're evenly matched," said Dawn after Hermione had Vanished her birds, "perhaps we should train with the boys so that we can squash them? I'll train with Harry, you can train with your non-boyfriend boyfriend, Ronald."

"He's not my boyfriend," said Hermione blushingly, "and don't say that so loud or otherwise people will hear the wrong thing." Dawn grinned wickedly at her but didn't pursue the subject. They then switched up again, and Buffy teamed with Hermione while Dawn teamed up with Ron.

"What were you two arguing about?" Buffy asked Hermione when they were out of earshot.

"Quidditch, of course," Hermione said a little too hastily, "The trouble with it is that it creates all this bad feeling and tension between the Houses. Not to offend you, but you Quidditch players seem to think the school revolves around your sport."

"Well, the whole idea of having Houses actually causes all the tension," replied Buffy, "as if every student got graded on their own marks, instead of their House teams, then they wouldn't be all 'us versus them' regarding other Houses."

"Having Houses creates unity," said Hermione, "so that everyone has a home away from home."

"True," agreed Buffy, "but Quidditch offers a way to release the tension created by constant studying and homework through physical means. It also keeps us in shape, so it can't be all bad."

The DA class ended later on, with the Slayers and Mordred going off to Patrol after everyone else had left the Golden Trio and Dawn. Dawn walked the Trio to their Tower, and entered it with them.

"Since I'm an Inquisitorial Squad member," she said to them as she walked in with a smile, "I have a right to inspect your Tower, which means a few free points for you guys."

"Won't that make the other Slytherins suspicious?" asked Harry while Hermione and Ron sat down around the fireplace.

"They think McGonagall and a hidden Dumbledore are the ones who're adding all the extra points," replied Dawn, "as well as other teachers they've offended. Anyways, thirty points to Gryffindor for allowing me in. It's a nice place." Dawn said as she looked around the room before sitting down.

"So, what's the situation regarding the DA during exam week?" she asked Harry, "is it still on, or will it be postponed until after exams?"

"We're going to lay off of it until after exams," said Harry, "as there's too much stuff to worry about to be bothered with it. Besides, I think we've done very well at it."

"Thanks for all the help," said Hermione, "without your Triumvirate catching Edgecombe, we'd have been caught before now."

"Don't mention it," said Dawn, "besides, your Jinx on her would have shown the others what happened to tattletales anyways. We just didn't want the DA to end like that." She then looked at Ron.

"You ready for the game this Saturday?" she asked him. Ron gulped before answering.

"Yeah, I am," he said, "I mean, I can't get any worse, now can I?"

"You'll do fine," said Hermione. Harry nodded his head as Dawn repeated what Hermione said.

"You're a better Quidditch player than you give yourself credit for," Dawn said, getting a blush from Ron.

She then went back out of the Tower, giving them thirty more points before leaving. When she got down to sixth floor she passed by Buffy on the way, so they stopped to chat.

"How was Patrolling?" she asked Buffy.

"Boring," said Buffy, "there's no more monsters out there to slay."

"Boring means good," said Dawn, "you don't get hurt with boring."

"Yeah, but it makes me nervous," replied Buffy, "usually when the bad guys lay off for a bit it means they're either regrouping or getting ready for a Big Bad to come."

"It'll be a Big Bad," said Dawn, "remember, in June there's going to be a fight against the Death Eaters. We have to get ready for that soon, as well as exams."

"Gee, I can't wait," said Buffy drolly before giving Dawn a kiss on the cheek, "goodnight."

"Ten points to Gryffindor. G'night." replied Dawn, as she went down the stairs to the Slytherin Dungeon.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39: Giant Expectations & Plans**

On the final weekend in May the second last Quidditch game was held, with Gryffindor taking on Ravenclaw. Mordred and Lee were both assigned to commentate the match together, as Mordred's comments during the previous matches, while highly controversial, were also extremely amusing to many.

"It's as if he can say _anything_ he wants to at all up there and get away with it," said Hermione to Harry as they both saw Ron and Buffy off before getting seats for themselves amongst the topmost row of the stands. "I really hope that Lee keeps his temper, or otherwise he'll be thrown out for fighting with Mordred during the game."

As the teams zoomed out on to the pitch Lee named the players while Mordred made passing comments about each one.

"There's the Hufflepuff captain Roger Davies," said Lee.

"He's pretty good at History," commented Mordred, "but according to various girls in Hogwarts, he's horrible on dates."

"And there's the Gryffindor captain Angelina Johnson," said Lee while trying to gag back laughter.

"She's the exact opposite," added Mordred cheekily, "terrible at History, but great on dates."

"Very funny, wiseass," replied Lee before continuing, "the Ravenclaw Seeker Chang has appeared."

"Careful everyone," cautioned Mordred, "she might flood the area with her constant weeping. She's currently single though, so any males out there who're not afraid of literally getting their wands wet can feel free to have a go at her."

"And the Gryffindor Seeker Ginny Weasley as also arrived," said Lee before giving Mordred a double take.

"She's also single," said Mordred, "or at least according to her ex-beau Corner she is, as she sorta punched him out the last time her tried to put his hand up her shirt without paying her first."

"Good for her," commented Lee, while Ron glared in Michaels' direction.

Dawn and Faith tapped Harry and Hermione on the shoulders before leading Harry and Hermione to Hagrid outside the Quidditch Pitch. When they saw Hagrid, they noticed that both of his eyes were bruised and he had a bloody nose as well. Hagrid shushed them before they could ask anything, and led the four of them across the lawn into the Forest.

"Hagrid," asked Harry when he saw Hagrid's crossbow, "why are you armed?"

"Just a precaution," replied Hagrid with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Is it because of the Centaurs?" asked Faith, "cause B and I have helped them out during Patrolling, so they know not to mess with us."

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean they're not angry at me for saving Firenze from a stomping," said Hagrid, "they might of killed him if I hadn't of put a stop to it. But that's not the only reason why we're here. Just a little further in and I'll show you."

He led the four of them on until they found what appeared to be a large smooth mound of earth nearly as large as Hagrid, surrounded by ripped up trees with ropes leading to it. As they watched, the mound moved up and down as loud snores came from it. Dawn looked back at Harry and Hermione, who were both shocked into stillness, while Faith looked at a grinning Hagrid.

"So this is your half-brother Grawp," stated Faith, getting a look of surprise from Hagrid. "I thought he'd be taller."

"Yah well, he _is_ asleep," replied Hagrid, who then grabbed up a stick to poke Grawp in the back with. "Wake up Grawp, there's someone here I want you to meet."

Grawp woke up with a roar that echoed all over that part of the forest before rising from the ground. The four students saw that his face resembled a gray full moon with a stubby nose and a lopsided mouth full of misshapen yellow teeth. He had greenish-brown eyes that were half-closed with sleep, and no hair on his head. He sprang up quickly after yawning, revealing his entire sixteen-foot tall frame to the others as the trees that he was tied to creaked ominously.

"I need you lot to look after him when I'm gone," said Hagrid as Grawp tore up another tree from the ground, "I reckon I'll be getting the boot any day now from Umbridge."

"But you've lasted this long," said Hermione tentatively, "what makes you think you'll be sacked now?"

"Umbridge reckons it was me that put the Nifflers in her office," said Hagrid, "and bred all those crazy flying Demon-monkeys that attacked the school. Anything to do with Magical creatures makes her think I'm behind it, and if it weren't for Grawp here I'd leave before she had the chance to sack me in front of everyone like she did with Trelawney." He then looked at Grawp, and called to him.

"Hey Grawpy," he said, "here's the friends I told you about before, remember? This is Harry Potter, Grawp! He might be coming to visit you when I go away. And here's Dawn, and Faith, and Hermione. Herm-" he turned to Hermione.

"Is it all right he just calls you Hermy?" asked Hagrid, "Hermione is such a difficult name for him to remember."

Hermione nodded her head before shrieking, as Grawp lunged at the four students. Harry, Dawn and Hermione dove out of the way as Grawp scooped up Faith, but before he could do anything with her she smacked his thumb with her fist, causing him to howl with pain and drop her. Hagrid chastised Grawp for grabbing at them while the other three picked themselves up and went over to Faith.

"You ok?" asked Hermione in a shaky voice.

"Five-by-five, Hermy," replied Faith with a smile, "it takes more than a Giant to toss me around."

The four students and Hagrid then left Grawp to continue playing with the trees as they headed back to the Quidditch Pitch. They ran into some Centaurs, but after getting a warning the Centaurs let them go as 'the slaughter of foals is a terrible crime' according to them (although Faith was more than ready to back Hagrid up if a fight happened). They heard a mass of cheering as they got back to the Pitch, as the spectators came out in droves.

"I hope that Ron didn't let in too many goals," said Hermione, "he's already depressed enough as it is."

"I'll bet you a hundred Galleons each that Gryffindor team won," said Dawn after she had put her head near a bush, "and that Ron let in only one or two goals."

"You're on," said Harry only half-heartedly, as he though it'd be easy money.

His dejected mood soon turned into one of shock as he saw both Buffy and Ron carried off the field by cheering Gryffindors, who were all singing a new version of the 'Weasley is our King' Song. He then turned to Dawn, who was grinning widely at him before grabbing up some Galleons from his pocket.

"How did you know that'd happen?" he asked as he happily deposited his Galleons into Dawn's hands. She just smiled and walked off with Faith towards the Slytherin crowd, whom were all (minus Malfoy and his goons) standing around joking with Mordred.

The next day by the Beech tree at the edge of the Lake, Harry and Hermione told Buffy and Ron all about Grawp after Ron and Buffy had told them about the Quidditch match. Ron was shocked that Hagrid had brought a Giant back with him, so much so that he at first thought he was dreaming and poked himself with his wand.

"Hagrid's lost his mind," Ron said in an almost awed voice, "how can he think we can teach Grawp English?"

"We did promise him we'd try," said Hermione in a small voice. Ron responded by throwing his hands up in the air in defeat.

"Do you even remember Norbert? Or Aragog? Or Fluffy?" asked Ron in a despairing voice. "Have we _ever_ come off better for mixing with any of Hagrid's monster mates?"

"Faith, Mordred and I can look after him during Patrolling," supplied Buffy, "it shouldn't be that difficult compared to what we usually do. Dawn would probably like to try helping out as well."

"That reminds me," said Harry suddenly, "how does Dawn know so much about what's going on? It seems she knows things before they happen."

"Well, um," fumbled Buffy, "she and Mordred may have been making some invisible snakes to go around the Castle and the forest so that they learn things. That'd explain a lot."

"I've heard a few of them," said Harry, "but mostly whenever I try to talk to them they go silent and slither away. Why'd they make them?"

"To spy on our Quidditch training!" said Ron indignantly. Hermione looked at him pityingly.

"Mordred probably made some to spy on the girls," she said, "but if Dawn made some as well then it's probably to help her collect information around the school. That would explain some of it."

During the week, the teachers were no longer giving out homework to the students; instead, lessons were devoted to revising the topics the teachers thought most likely to come up in the exams that month. Hermione had taken to mumbling constantly to herself as well as constantly checking her books, Mordred had started skateboarding around the school even faster while grabbing up armloads of books and potion ingredients which he rushed back into his dorm with where he spent hours reading, practicing spells, and creating more potions. Ernie Macmillan had started interrogating people about their revision habits, while Draco took to bragging that because of his family connections, he'd have a cakewalk in the exams.

"Of course, it's not _what_ you now," Draco said to Crabbe and Goyle loudly outside Potions, "it's _who_ you know. My father's been friendly with the head of the Wizarding Examinations Authority for years, as we've had old Griselda Marchbanks around for dinner and everything."

"He's just trying to scare you," said Buffy to an alarmed Hermione before class began, "although it _does_ help to know people, but it's what you know that counts mostly. I mean, look at how much we now know about defending ourselves thanks to Harry's classes."

She looked at Harry as he blushed slightly before they headed into class.

A flourishing black-market trade in potions used for concentration, mental agility and wakefulness sprung up amongst the Fifth- and Seventh-Years. Mordred made a fortune off of his Triple I Potion, complete with it's own slogan ('Intelligence, Intensity, Insomnia!') which sold for about fifty Galleons a bottle. The downside to it is that the students who tried to overdose on it wound up turning into mental Zombies, as they had stopped dreaming, so he took it off the market after Snape and a few other Professors had told him to (but only after Snape had awarded his House one hundred and sixty points for the potion.) Mordred's potions at least were the real things, as Harry and Ron found out that Eddie Carmichael's potions were made of dried Doxy droppings from Hermione when they tried to buy them off of Eddie.

Mordred also raised the points system to ten points per _second_, getting every House up into the millions before two days had passed. The Professors had given up even trying to take off any points, as by the time any of them had said 'sixty points off' of any House, the House in question made back the points by the time the Professors were done speaking. Umbridge was in a fury, as Gryffindors' points had gone up along with everyone else's into the millions, but when she tried to revoke the IS's power to add points she found that the points still kept on adding up anyways. The Slytherins hardly complained, as even Draco noticed that their House was into the tens of millions of points and had such a huge lead over the other three Houses that he only remembered to add ten points every now and then when he was prompted to by the others in his House.

Various acts of vandalism continued throughout the school, as walls were spray-painted and statues were Transfigured to attack Umbridge whenever she went near them. Explosions rocked the school so often that the air was thick with dust and soot, causing the students to have to light up their wands as if they were in a cavern. Various Silver or Ruby-red shoes were left around the school, causing anyone who put them of be transported to just over the lake. Umbridge blamed the Elves for this, as they were the only ones who could Apparate in the school.

"How can she blame the Elves," asked Hermione while eating roast duck during lunch, "it's not like they have the time to go about Jinxing the shoes when they're slaving away for the entire school."

"It's not just the shoes," said Buffy while eating some tacos, "it's all the spiked food Umbridge has been getting, plus all the threats. Just yesterday a wooden statue of her was found hanging inside her office, and when she went to touch it, it sprayed her with oil before catching on fire. She was roasted by it and had to put herself out."

"The DM is still going strong, even during exams." Stated Harry, who was eating a steak and kidney pie. "I thought it was the Triumvirate at first, but unless they're using time-turners they can't possibly be doing that as well as study for exams."

"Remember, Mordred doesn't sleep," said Buffy, "it's amazing how much a person can do when they don't sleep. He's told me during Patrols that he gets anywhere between ten and twelve hours of studying done in between classes and Patrolling, although how much of that is true I don't know for certain."

"So, he could be doing all these pranks by himself?" asked Ron between mouthfuls of potatoes. Buffy shook her head.

"We've all been helping him out," she said, "just five minutes ago you yourself Levitated some Stink Pellets to go after Draco."

"Yeah, but that was to practice my basic Charm work." Said Ron, although he had enough sense to grin and blush while saying this. The others laughed at this, including Hermione, even though she was angry with him wasting time on tormenting Draco when he should have been studying.

During the Wednesday Transfiguration class, the students all received their examination timetables from their House Professors. She showed them that they would be having two weeks worth of exams, with the theory work being done in the morning while their practical work was done during the afternoons. She also warned them against cheating of any kind, as there were many stringent anti-cheating Charms being placed on their exam papers. She then told the students that they would be getting their results in July via Owl mail.

"Well, at least we don't have to worry about the results until the Holidays," whispered Dean Thomas to himself after McGonagall had made that announcement for the Gryffindors. Buffy wondered idly where their marks would go to if she and the other three foreign students had found a way home before then.

On the Thursday after classes, the Slytherin Quidditch team trained for the final game of the year. During practice, they worked on dodging Bludgers as well as distracting opposing Chasers from their goals. At the end of practice the Triumvirate went over to Professor Snape, who had been watching over the practice to see what they were doing.

"You're certainly getting better at controlling the Bludgers you hit," Snape said to Faith, "and you've even managed to get the Quidditch players to keep their focus on the game instead of just awarding themselves extra points every second move."

"We've got Draco, Pansy, and the other IS spectators doing that for us," replied Dawn from behind Faith, "and we also award points to our players when they play well, not just for doing whatever. We want to win the next match, after all."

"I'm sure you do," said Snape dryly before continuing, "you came over to me for a reason. What is it?"

"We were wondering if there was a possibility of having a final Quidditch match between the students and the Professors," said Faith while Mordred and Dawn both looked on and grinned, "it could be done after exams, as a way of letting off some steam. It would also allow the Seventh-Years one final game before they leave here, and it will help out House unity as the students team will compose of all four Houses instead of just one."

"And who decides who gets to be on the students' side?" asked Snape with a grin, "remember that Headmistress Umbridge is in charge of what happens here now."

"Umbridge most likely won't last until the end of this month," said Dawn quietly, "what with the DM and everything."

"Not to mention the extra points coming up every second," added Snape with a wry smile, "the hourglasses have become increasingly full this past week, especially your own. It's only a matter of time before they expand into the entire school. It's become almost useless to add or take away points now."

"Feel free to add some to our House anyways," said Mordred with a smile that showed his pointed teeth, "after all, the more points the merrier."

Snape scowled at him, but then gave a wry smile as he led them back to their dorm room.

"Just do well in tomorrow's game," said Snape as he went to his office, "and I'll talk to the other Professors about your idea. Until then, study hard for your exams."

On the final game of Quidditch between Slytherin and Hufflepuff, it wasn't even a true contest. Mordred blocked every shot taken at him while Dawn made a dash towards the Hufflepuff's goal posts, leading the Hufflepuff Seeker Summerby after her as he thought that she was after the Golden Snitch. When Faith had them in line she nailed one Bludger that hit both the Hufflepuff Keeper Stebbins and Summerby into the post, knocking them both out cold. This allowed the Slytherin Chasers to each take turns scoring goals on Hufflepuff, until they had about ten thousand extra points before Dawn caught the Golden Snitch at around midnight that night. This led to a huge celebration for Slytherin, as the three tri-captains were carried off the Pitch hoisting the silver Quidditch Cup high in the air for everyone to see. They poured some water into it and soaked Snape with it, before Mordred put his mix of PaniChaos tears and Taltos Venom into it for the three Triumvirate members to drink (the others got wine instead). In spite of the upcoming exams, the Slytherins all celebrated well into Sunday morning, with even Malfoy and his cronies congratulating the Triumvirate on their skillful planning and execution of the entire Quidditch series that year.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40: Giving A Hoot About O.W.L.s**

On the Sunday morning of the week exams began, the Triumvirate went over to Hagrid's hut after breakfast, meeting him as he was getting up and enjoying the weather. He looked up from the garden he was tending to when he saw them approach.

"Good morning you three," he said in his usual booming voice, "coming to inspect me on behalf of Umbridge?"

"Something like that," replied Dawn, "we need to talk. May we come inside your hut?"

They went into his hut, which had one corner where there was a gigantic bed covered in a patchwork quilt. A similarly enormous wooden table and chairs stood in front of the fire beneath the quantity of cured hams and dead birds hanging from the ceiling, while a copper kettle was boiling on the open fire. Before they could speak a massive explosion from inside the Castle occurred, causing Hagrid to drop his cup and look outside.

"Don't worry, it was only Umbridge's office," said Dawn, "we just needed a distraction so that we could warn you about something?"

"Now, don't be giving me warnings about _that_," said Hagrid quickly, "Firenze has been sending me enough warnings as it is."

"It's not about your brother Grawp," said Faith, "it's about when and how Umbridge plans on sacking you."

"Oh," said Hagrid, his eyes widening and his mouth forming an 'O' in surprise, "how'd you come by that information?"

"We're the Inquisitorial Squad," replied Mordred cheekily, "we're naturally inquisitive."

"_How_ we know is not important," said Dawn quickly, "what _is_ important is that some time during exams, Umbridge will have five Aurors including Dawlish come to try and take you away. Most likely it will happen on the Wednesday of next week, during our Astronomy Practical Exam."

"If you need any help setting up traps, we can work on them now," said Faith, "but we suggest that they be set up now as we won't be able to come here as often as we like."

"For a Trio of Slytherins," said Hagrid appreciatively, "you sure are a helpful lot. What do you have in mind as traps?"

Meanwhile, back at the Gryffindor Common Room, the students there were getting ready for exams. Harry was testing Hermione, Ron was reading two years worth of Charms, and Buffy was re-reading her notes on Charm work. Ginny came over to see what they were studying, as she would be doing the same thing next year and wanted to know what would be on her exams. The Golden Trio and Buffy took a five-minute break during which they chatted animatedly with Ginny about things other than schoolwork.

"How do you pick up guys?" Ginny asked mischievously to Buffy. Buffy grinned at her before replying.

"That's easy. Let me demonstrate using Ron. Oh, _Rooon_?" Buffy called Ron, getting a grin from him while Hermione scowled. That changed, as Buffy flipped Ron over her shoulder and held him by the foot upside-down. "Now, when he gets lippy all you have to do is shake him a bit." Buffy said, swinging Ron around and bumping his head on the ground.

"Hey, that's not _fair_!" Whined Ron as he was dangled like a worm on a hook.

"Sure it is," replied Buffy, "we're the _fairer_ sex, remember?"

Hermione and Ginny both laughed at this as Harry looked on while trying to not smile and failing miserably. Buffy tossed Ron into some cushions and then they went off to lunch. When they all got to lunch, Buffy, Harry and Ron all ate their food with gusto while Hermione kept on checking her books throughout the meal. She was about to finish off her meal when she went stock-still while looking at the Entrance Hall.

"The examiners!" she said faintly, "they're here!"

Buffy, Harry, and Ron all looked into the Entrance Hall where they saw Umbridge standing nervously next to a small group of ancient-looking Mages. The Golden Trio and Buffy wandered closer to the group, catching sight of the Slytherin Triumvirate coming in and looking on at the examiners as well. Umbridge was speaking deferentially to a tiny, stooped Witch named Professor Marchbanks, who was responding to Umbridge in a very loud voice. She assured Umbridge that Dumbledore wouldn't be found if he didn't want to be found, as she herself examined him in Charms and Transfiguration, where he did things with a wand she'd never seen before. Umbridge shot a malevolent look at the Golden Trio and Buffy as they passed by, before offering to take the examiners off to the staff room for tea.

That evening turned out to be very uncomfortable, as all the Fifth- and Seventh-Years were trying to do some last minute revising and not getting far with it. Buffy barely slept, as she kept on hearing the other Fifth-Years mumbling in their sleep or tossing and turning. Faith and Dawn were both anxious as well, barely sleeping as they listened to the Slytherin girls mumble in their sleep. Mordred was the only one not affected, as he never slept anyways, so he took the time to read over his notes and practice some Charms work.

On the first day of exams after breakfast was over, the Fifth- and Seventh-Years all milled around the Entrance Hall while the other students went off to lessons. At nine-thirty, they were called class by class to re-enter the Great Hall to write their Charms exam. The four House tables had been replaced with many single tables that were facing the staff-table end where Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick both stood facing them. When they were all quietly seated, McGonagall told them to begin and turned over an enormous hourglass on the desk beside her. All that could be heard throughout the Hall was the scratching of pen on paper, and the occasional cough from a student during until the exam ended.

In the afternoon, the students were called forwards in alphabetical order, with those left behind muttering incantations and practicing wand movements. Mordred was the first one of the Triumvirate off, and he marched with a bounce in his step that showed his enthusiasm for the practical part of the exam.

"He'll do fine," Dawn told Faith reassuringly, "remember he's been neck-and-neck with Hermione all year, and she once got a hundred and twelve per cent on one of her Charms tests."

"It's not _him_ I'm worried about," said Faith nervously, "I just wish that _I_ had a name that was earlier in the alphabet than L."

"_You'll_ do fine," said Dawn as she patted Faith's hand, "remember you've done really well so far in Charms work, and we've all been training with Mordred. We'll all do _fine_."

About a minute later, Hermione's name was called, and six minutes after that, Faith's name was called, and she went into the Great Hall after Dawn gave her a thumbs-up. She went over to Professor Tofty, who was a very old and bald, and sat down in front of him.

"That's it," he said in a quivery old voice, "no need to be nervous. Now, if I could ask you to take this milk can and make it dance across the table for me."

On the whole, Faith's practical exam went rather well. Her mistakes were few and far in between, and she believed that she had done her Levitation Charm very well. When she left she saw Mordred waiting for her, bouncing up and down on the heels of his feet and grinning widely with his pointed teeth flashing.

"How'd it go for you?" he asked her with a grin.

"I think I did ok," she admitted with a nervous smile, "I screwed up the colours for the Colour Change Charm, but other than that I did ok. What about you?"

"I did really well," said Mordred in a babble of excitement, "I changed the rat into every colour the examiner asked me to, I Silenced a crow, and when he asked me to Levitate a wineglass I did it without my wand or any words; you shoulda seen the look on his face when I did that."

Later on Dawn and Buffy were called in to do their practical exam, with Dawn getting Professor Marchbanks as her examiner while Buffy got Professor Tofty. They each managed to do very well on their exams, with Dawn doing a bit better as Buffy mixed up her Colour Change Charm with a Growth Charm, while Dawn only made the wrong colour. When Buffy found out that Harry had made the same mistake she felt better, especially when Ron said he caused a dinner plate to turn into a large mushroom by accident.

That night was spent mostly revising for the Transfiguration exam the next day, leaving the students absolutely no time to relax. During the written exam in the morning of Tuesday Buffy and Faith both forgot the definition of Animagus Transfigurations, while Dawn and Mordred both got perfect scores. During the practical exams Dawn was able to Vanish her rat completely while Faith and Buffy took a few tries to Vanish their animals completely, but when Hannah Abbot multiplied her ferret into a flock of flamingoes Mordred was able to help the examiners Vanish them all, getting himself some bonus marks.

On the Wednesday they had the Herbology exam, with the written exam in the morning and the practical in the afternoon. Here, Dawn didn't do as well as she would have liked, as she messed up the properties of Bubotubur Pus and got bitten several times by her Fanged Geranium. Buffy and Faith did better, as they managed to cow their plants into obedience using their strength, and Mordred had managed to somehow tame Devil's Snare enough to be able to show off by putting it around his own neck without it strangling him.

On the Thursday, they had their Defence Against the Dark Arts exams, which they all aced not only the written, but also the practical exams as well. Faith, Dawn and Buffy all produced Patronuses right after Harry showed off his, while Mordred was able to produce a Boggart which terrified the examiners until he explained it was mostly an illusion. In fact, most of the DA members were able to produce Patronuses, much to the surprise and chagrin of Umbridge, as she had never taught the practical side of her course.

Friday, both Mordred and Hermione both had Ancient Runes while the others had the day off, which Harry, Ron and Buffy used to relax in front of an open window. When Hermione came in she was thoroughly bad-tempered.

"How were Runes?" Asked Ron, who was yawning and stretching.

"I mistranslated _ehwaz_," said Hermione furiously, "It means _partnership_, not _defence_. I mixed it up with _eihwaz_. Mordred was _kind_ enough to point that out to me after the exam, arrogant git."

"Look on the bright side," Buffy said, "Mordred has to do his Arithmancy exam today instead of next Wednesday like you do, as he has Divination to do then with us three. He's bound to crack soon."

"What else is wrong?" asked Harry when he saw that this didn't cheer up Hermione.

"Someone's put in another Niffler in Umbridge's office," said Hermione angrily, "I don't know how it got in through that new door, but I walked by and heard Umbridge shrieking her head off. It sounded like it tried to take a chunk off her leg."

"Good." Said Buffy, Ron and Harry all together.

"It's _not_ good!" said Hermione hotly, "she thinks it's Hagrid who's doing it, and even though he has class right now, that won't stop her from trying to chuck him."

She then swept off to the girl's dormitory, banging the door behind her with a crash.

"Such a lovely, sweet-tempered girl," said Ron, getting a chuckle from Harry and a grin from Buffy. Later on that night, Buffy and Faith went Patrolling with Mordred and asked him about his Arithmancy exam.

"It was easy," he said, "I just had to predict my strengths and weaknesses using the heart number, the life number, and the personality number that came out through using Arithmancy on my name. I scored a five on both my Character and Social Numbers, meaning my general personality and the one I put on for show are both the same, with me being adventurous, energetic and willing to take risks. It said I enjoy travel and meeting new people but may not stay in one place very long. I can also be conceited, irresponsible, quick-tempered and impatient at times."

"Wow, that's you to a T," said Faith.

"What did you get for your Heart Number?" asked Buffy, "Dawn asked me to ask you about it."

"I got a nine," said Mordred, "meaning my inner life revolves around dedicating myself to service, that I work tirelessly and am an inspiration to others, while being both arrogant and conceited when things don't go my way."

"I don't know about the first part, but the part about arrogance and conceit are _definitely_ you," said Buffy, causing Faith to laugh as they walked along the Forest.

The Fifth- and Seventh-years spent the weekend revising for the next week's exams, as there were still Potions, Astronomy and History as well as the several Elective class exams to go to. On the Monday they had their Potions exam, which had an extremely difficult written exam followed by an even harder practical exam. However, since Professor Snape wasn't there, most of the Gryffindor students were able to do better than they usually do in Potions, as Harry and Buffy both got passing grades (the Triumvirate naturally got outstanding marks on their exams). When they all got back to their dorms Hermione was still in a foul mood, as she told off some First-Years for giggling too loudly.

"Hey Hermione," cautioned Buffy after Hermione had caused a few First-years to cry after screaming at them, "stop being a bitch and be a Witch instead. You're scaring the kids and hurting only yourself." This got a glare from Hermione, but when Buffy met it with a glare of her own Hermione just went to sulking while studying.

On the Tuesday the Care of Magical Creatures exam was held, with the practical part of it taking place on the lawn on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. There, the students were required to correctly identify the Knarl hidden amongst a group of hedgehogs (most of the students offered the animals milk, causing the Knarls to freak out due to fear of being poisoned). Then they had to demonstrate the correct handling of a Bowtruckle, feed and clean out a Fire Crab without sustaining serious injuries, and choose the type of food used to nurse a sick Unicorn back to health with. During the exam Hagrid watched anxiously from his hut, but managed to crack a smile when Harry, Buffy, and all three members of the Slytherin Triumvirate gave him a thumb's up when they passed by after the exam.

"How well did you think you did?" asked Dawn to Faith and Mordred when they got back to the Slytherin Dungeon. Faith was the first to answer her question.

"I cleared that course like Roseanne Barr at a buffet," she chimed in pride, "of course, Slayer-assisted strength helped out in handling the Bowtruckle and Fire Crab. What about you, Mordy? The animals didn't panic around you this time like they usually do."

"That's because I didn't give them the chance to panic," he said, "I just went right into their heads and got them to do what I wanted them to. I made the Knarl come to me just by calling it, the same with the Bowtruckle, and I made the Fire Crab practically clean itself for me. I even brought in PaniChaos as an example of what things I'd use to help cure a sick Unicorn with. All in all, I did pretty good."

"They allowed you to bring in your Phoenix?" asked Faith curiously. Mordred shrugged.

"Kind of," he said, "they gave me a few bonus points, but they wanted me to show what food I'd give the Unicorn if I didn't have a Phoenix with me as well. I guess they didn't want people to have a quick answer in case there is none for others to use."

"How did you do, D?" asked Faith. Dawn smiled at them both.

"I didn't have Slayer strength or mind powers like you two do," she said, "but I managed to do everything just fine. I wonder how Buffy did though, it seemed that she had a tougher time of it than you did Faith."

"B did good," replied Faith, "she just had a nervous start but she managed to do well from what I saw."

"Good to hear," said Dawn, "I'd hate for her to fail any of the courses. I know she wants back home more so than any of us, but it's nice to see she wants an education here as well." The three of them then set to studying for the next days' exams.

Wednesday morning the students wrote their Astronomy theory paper, with all the students writing it in the Great Hall. After the exam and lunch the students who had Divination or Arithmancy wrote those exams, as the practical part of Astronomy wasn't to be held until evening that night. Mordred wrote his Divination exam with the others, as he had already taken his Arithmancy exam the previous Friday. When they were done the Triumvirate gathered together to study for their Astronomy practical exam using star charts and maps of the galaxy.

At eleven o'clock that night, the students had a perfect night for stargazing for their Astronomy exam on the Astronomy Tower, as it was cloudless with a moonlit sky. The students all set up their telescopes and when Professor Marchbanks gave the go-ahead, they began filling in the blank star-charts they'd been provided. Both Professor Tofty and Marchbanks strolled around while watching the students enter the precise positions of the celestial bodies they were observing. For about an hour, the exam went without a hitch, with the sounds of students scribbling notes on their parchments, the creaking of the telescopes, and the occasional cough and declaration of how much time was left by one of the two Professors.

But at around midnight, Buffy and the Triumvirate, who had been expecting this to happen and had written their exam as fast as they could, watched Umbridge and five other people went over to Hagrid's hut. Harry, as well as some other students, had noticed this as well, and they all trained their telescopes on Hagrid's hut until Professor Tofty reminded them they only had twenty-five minutes to go in their exam. The students rushed back to filling in their charts, but within five minutes a loud thumping sound was heard followed by screaming. It turned out that Umbridge and her five goons had dropped into a hole that the Triumvirate had helped Hagrid make sometime earlier. Hagrid came out along with Firenze and Fang to have a laugh at them. However, one of the Wizards managed to send out a Stunner that hit Fang right in the chest, knocking the poor dog out. An infuriated Hagrid picked the Wizard out of the hole and tossed him into a tree while the others climbed out of the hole and attacked Hagrid and Firenze. Professors McGonagall and Flitwick both came out shouting at the five remaining attackers. They were halfway between Hagrid's hut and the Castle when McGonagall was hit with about three Stunners while Flitwick was hit with one from behind by a hidden Auror, causing even the examiners to gape and forget all about the exam. Hagrid and Firenze both fought back against the six attackers, with Hagrid knocking out two more Wizards with his fists while Firenze knocked out two with his hooves. Firenze then grabbed up the unconscious Fang before he and Hagrid bolted off towards the gates, leaving an angry Umbridge shouting at her remaining thug to stop them before she herself bound Flitwick up in some ropes and carried him off.

"Um," said Professor Tofty in a feeble voice, "five minutes to go, everybody."

After the exam, the students were all talking about what had just happened as they went to their dorms. Mordred cast a _Muffliato_ spell so that any eavesdroppers would just hear white noise form them.

"That evil woman," Hermione gasped, as she was nearly speechless with rage, "trying to sneak up on both Hagrid and Firenze in the dead of night!"

"She clearly wanted to avoid a scene like Trelawney's," said Ernie Macmillan sagely, while others listened in on them.

"Hagrid and Firenze did well, didn't they?" said Ron, who had a look of alarm on his face. "How come all the spells bounced off of Hagrid like that?"

"It's his Giant blood," answered Dawn, "it makes him more immune to certain spells than others."

"Poor McGonagall," said Hermione shakily, "three Stunners straight in the chest and she's not exactly young, is she? And I guess Flitwick's Goblin blood caught up to him, as now he's in her custody as well."

"_Don't you worry about McGonagall_," said Mordred, "_you couldn't kill that old bat with anything less than a wooden stake to the heart, a silver bullet to the head, and a Dragon Slave to cremate the body. She'll bounce back; I guarantee it. As for Flitwick, I'm sure that crafty old guy has a few tricks up his sleeve. He'll get out eventually._"

The students all drifted off to their separate dorms, all talking about what they had just seen. Seamus and Dean, who had arrived ahead of the Golden Trio and Buffy, and they were telling everyone what they had seen and heard from the top of the Astronomy Tower.

"At least Hagrid's not in Wizarding prison," said Buffy in an assuring manner, "and he has Firenze to keep him company."

"I expect they've both gone to join Dumbledore," said Ron, "so they won't be lonely at least."

"But why sack Hagrid, Firenze and Flitwick now?" asked Angelina Johnson as she shook her head, "it's not like Trelawney, they were all good teachers."

"Umbridge hates part-humans," said Hermione bitterly as she flopped down into an armchair, "she was always going to try and get rid of them all. And now she doesn't have to worry about McGonagall anymore either."

"I hope Professor McGonagall's all right," said Lavender tearfully.

"She'll be ok," said Buffy, "like Harry told me what Mordred said, she's a tough old bird."

By the time the excitement died down in the Gryffindor Common Room, it was nearly four in the morning. Buffy had gone to bed, as she had known about this happening from Dawn, while Hermione tossed and turned nearby in her bed without sleeping a wink.

In the Slytherin Common Room, things were just even more hectic, as the Triumvirate was telling some of the younger Slytherins what had happened.

"If Umbridge had told us her plans beforehand," said Faith boastingly, "we'd off caught both of them without any fuss at all."

"What makes you think you'd be able to succeed where Umbridge herself failed?" asked Draco in a demanding manner. Faith rolled her eyes as Dawn stepped up to him.

"We caught Sirius Black," she reminded him, "and Ludo Bagman before that. We'd have had no problem catching both Hagrid and Firenze."

"Oh yeah," said Draco menacingly, "how'd you have gone and done it then?"

"Simple," said Mordred, "we'd of gone up to each Professor and had a drink with them both, spiking their drinks with Talto's venom in minute quantities. When they were both out cold and paralyzed, we'd off Levitated them into the waiting arms of the Ministry. See, simple and easy solutions to large problems."

"Now with them both missing that'll prove to be harder to do," said Dawn, "I'd set up plans with you guys, but we have the History exam tomorrow afternoon, and Mordred, you have that Muggle studies exam in only a few hours, so we all have to go study. See you guys."

With that, Dawn and Faith both went to bed, while Mordred stayed up studying and chatting with others about Umbridge's failed attempt to capture Hagrid and Firenze. He occasionally got PaniChaos and Taltos to fill a cup up with their respective tears and venom, drinking it whenever he finished off reading a chapter of the subjects he was studying. Before the morning came he made the points spell go up to fifty points a second just to see what would happen, causing all four of the hourglasses to just suddenly go the colour of their gems and shine brightly for all to see.

On the Thursday morning Mordred wrote his Muggle studies exam while Dawn and Faith studied for their History exam in the afternoon. While they studied, Buffy shared some of Mordred's Triple I potion with the Golden Trio, citing their lack of sleep as dangerous against writing their exam. During lunch Mordred bragged about how easy his Muggle Studies exam was to Faith and Dawn, who ignored him while they studied and ate their lunch. At around two-o'clock in the afternoon, the Fifth-Years went into the Great Hall and wrote their History exam. Some of the students fell asleep, as that was what they did naturally during History class so they were more than well-prepared for that part of the exam, but Buffy, Ron and Harry were unusually wide-awake and excited due to the Triple I potion. Even Hermione, who would have normally been awake enough to pass the exam, flew through her exam; she was done so fast that she re-checked it over ten times and resorted to stabbing herself in the hand with her quill in order to see if she was actually awake. Ron took the longest out of the four Gryffindor chums to finish, but even he had time to relax before the exam was over. The Triumvirate also blew through the exam, getting every question and bonus question and even adding some extra notes and diagrams where they felt they couldn't express their answers in just words. By the time the exam was almost over, the Triumvirate had mounds of parchment all covered in diagrams and extra notes along with their answer sheets. The examiners were loaded down with their extra notes when the exam was over, and managed to cast a few puzzled glances at them before they left.

That night, there were parties in every dorm room, as the students all celebrated the end of exams. Some students brought in Butterbeers and Firewhiskeys discreetly, and they decorated their Common Rooms with Luminous Non-exploding Balloons, small model Dragons that flew through the air, and even though they all didn't wear them, all the Fifth- and Seventh-Years got hats with the heads of their House animals on it, so Luna, Mordred and Dawn weren't the only students with animal shaped hats. The Common Rooms were filled with the sounds of lions roaring, eagles screeching, snakes hissing, or badgers baying loudly along with the laughter of the students.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41: Umbridge Undone**

Early Friday morning, Umbridge's office was completely destroyed. When the others had all gone to sleep, Mordred had gone down to her office and set up some Gubraithian Fire to it, so that it not only burned the entire office into cinders, it kept on burning, shutting Umbridge out of her office completely. On the wall opposite of her office the sentence "The DM thanks you for a wonderful Year" was written in bright cheerful letters that changed colours every second while a Smiley face winked at her. This caused her to go completely insane with rage, as she stood in the hall shrieking in fury, her hands clamped down in fists and waving her stubby arms in the air. Some students came out to investigate the commotion, as she was making an awful lot of noise. When she saw them she flipped out even further.

"You!" she shrieked at Draco when he came near her, "round up the Inquisitorial Squad and have them bring me Potter and his friends! They're behind this, I'm sure of it!"

Within an hour, Malfoy and his goons dragged down Harry, Ron and Neville from their Tower, with Faith and Dawn bringing down Buffy, Hermione and Ginny after Buffy had knocked out Millicent Bulstrode, Pansy Parkinson and Daphne Greengrass when they tried to capture Buffy earlier. Faith had Buffy in a light grip, while Dawn held onto Ginny's arm while pointing her wand at Ginny's throat, whereas Mordred tried to put Hermione in a reverse bearhug and got a back-kick to the groin when his hands went wandering over her body. The six captured Gryffindors were brought to the Great Hall, where they were made to sit in chairs that bound them up in ropes. None of the other Professors came out to watch, but some of the other students were dragged out of bed by the IS as Umbridge wanted to make a spectacle of her captured prey.

"For the time that I have been your Headmistress," said Umbridge, her usually falsely-sweet voice now hardened into ice, "the group named Development: Mayhem has been destroying my school, disrupting my classes and attacking me personally through the most appalling means." She then looked over the rest of the students who had all assembled in front of the captives that were being held by the IS.

"These terrorizing attacks may have shaken the foundations of Hogwarts," she said pompously, "but they cannot touch the foundation of the Ministry of Magic. These acts shattered stone, but they cannot dent the steel of Ministry resolve. The Ministry has been targeted for attack because we're the brightest beacon for safety and security in the world. And no one will keep that light from shining." She took a breath before continuing on.

"Today their reign of terror has come to a final end, as these students here will tell me whom their leader is." She proclaimed loudly.

She then looked over the captured students with a vicious sneer on her face while Malfoy and his goons hooted and laughed. She then marched right up to Harry and glared into his face before grabbing him by the hair. She yanked his hair up so that he gasped in pain.

"Who is the DM of Development: Mayhem?" she asked while shaking his head violently, "tell me now, or I'll have to resort to some very unpleasant ways of getting that information." She then leaned her head in to whisper into Harry's ear.

"The Cruciatus Curse ought to loosen your tongue," said Umbridge quietly, getting the rest of the students to gasp. "Either on you or your friends, whichever you prefer."

"The Minister wouldn't want you to break the law," cried Hermione, "using an Unforgivable Curse in front of everyone will only make you go to Azkaban."

"_My_ word will outweigh the words of a bunch of students, and I have my Inquisitorial Squad to back me up. Besides, what Cornelius doesn't know won't hurt him," Umbridge said panting slightly as she pointed her wand from Harry to Hermione, to Ron, to Ginny to Neville to Buffy before moving it back to Harry again. "He never knew I ordered Dementors to go after Potter last summer, but he was delighted to be given the chance to expel him, all the same."

"It was _you_?" Harry gasped as the rest of the students looked on in shock, "_You_ sent the Dementors after me?"

"_Somebody_ had to act," explained Umbridge breathlessly as her wand pointed at Harry's scar, "the others were all bleating about silencing you somehow, discrediting you, but I was the only one who actually _did_ something about it." Her face contorted into a mask of rage as she remembered that time.

"Only you wriggled out of that one, didn't you, Potter?" she asked in a malice-dripping voice, "Not today though, not now. No Dumbledore to save you again, is there?" She then raised her arm and took a deep breath, but before she could cast her spell Mordred interrupted her.

"Why don't you check his pockets?" asked Mordred from behind Faith and Dawn with a pained grimace on his face due to Hermione's back kick, but he still managed a coy smile as he spoke. "We should check all their pockets for parchments, that should help us find out who's been giving them out. After that, you can torture him all you want. I always did believe a spot of suffering was good to watch in the morning."

With that, Mordred went over and thrust his hands into Hermione's robes while she remained tied up. His hands roamed over her body as she yelped and glared at him before he pulled out a piece of parchment. He put it on a table that Umbridge had Summoned while Dawn and Faith brought parchments from Ginny and Buffy. They went back and grabbed more spare parchments from Ron, Harry, and Neville before putting it all on the table. The Golden Trio and the other captives fingered their wands that had been returned to them and looked on in wonder as Mordred waved one of his wands and the parchments all formed together into one big piece.

"It's a map," exclaimed Dawn, "and it has the rules for Development: Mayhem written on it in blood as well, look!"

Umbridge shoved her way through the Slytherins to view the map. Indeed, it had all six of the original rules labeled in blood on it along with a Smiley Face, but as Umbridge read aloud she noticed something new.

"The Fifth Rule of _Development: Mayhem_ is that it will go on as long as it has to," she read through gritted teeth, "the Sixth and Final Rule of _Development: Mayhem_ is you have to trust D---- M-----." She then looked up from the page triumphantly.

"It's a name," she exclaimed in an excited voice, "and from the looks of this, this was the original parchment that the leader of DM wrote for everyone."

"What do you think that name is?" asked Dawn to Draco, who was standing next to her grinning at Harry. Crabbe and Goyle were both standing behind him, cracking their knuckles and sniggering.

"D for Dumbledore, obviously," said a smirking Pansy, "and M for McGonagall, as they've always been too friendly towards one another. Guess she won't be coming back to the school after she gets out of St. Mungos."

"No point in just guessing," said Umbridge ash she pointed her wand at the page, "we'll know soon enough. _Aparecium_!"

The letters gradually faded into view, glowing bright green while next to it appeared a picture of a pale-faced boy with white-blond hair, pointed features, and cold grey eyes that stared back at them in contempt. Everyone's face bore a look of shock as they looked from the map to Draco Malfoy's face, who was just as stunned as the rest of them were in seeing his face and name on the map.

"_You_?" asked Umbridge in a horrified voice, "_you're_ the leader of Development: Mayhem? _You're_ the one who's been posioning me?"

"No!" said Draco, who was bumping into his friends as he backed up. "It's a trick. I'm being framed."

They then looked at the map again, and saw their names on it. Suddenly, Umbridge gave a shriek of delight.

"Dumbledore!" she cried, "he's still in Hogwarts! Triumvirate, come with me! We must get to him and capture him. I hope you're able to catch him since you caught Sirius already."

"We won't fail you," said Faith as Mordred produced his wands while Dawn waved at the others to clear a path for them. The four of them marched towards the Astronomy Tower as Umbridge pointed back to Draco.

"You go to Dungeon Six and wait for me there," she said in a falsely sweet manner, "and we'll have it out then and there. The rest of you, leave the captives bound, I don't want them going anywhere."

The four of them marched along the corridors at a brisk pace, practically bounding up the stairs leading to the Astronomy Tower.

"I wish I had Ministry Aurors with me," Umbridge panted as they went up the stairs, "no offence to you three, but I'd feel much better with trained professionals taking down Dumbledore."

"There's no time," said Faith urgently, "and besides, we can take down anybody. We may still be in school, but we're no slouches."

They reached the top, but before they went out the Triumvirate and Umbridge huddled together in order to form a plan.

"Here's what you three will do," said Umbridge, "each of you will go out there and distract Dumbledore. Corner him in between you so that I can hit him with a Body-Bind Curse. That ought to keep him held until Fudge arrives with the Aurors. Signal me by singing that 'Weasley is our King' song your House made."

The three students grinned and nodded before heading out the door, acting as if they were going out for a stroll to view the stars. When they were outside, Dawn Conjured a small snake from her wand before giving it a command in Parseltongue and sending it back towards where Harry and friends were being held captive. They then went over to the area in the center of the Astronomy Tower where they Conjured an Illusion resembling Dumbledore, placing a Shield Spell on it before standing back and bursting into song.

"Weasley cannot save a thing," they sang in unison, "he cannot block a single ring. That's why Slytherins all sing: Weasley is our King."

With that, Umbridge crept out slowly until she was able to see the back of 'Dumbledore's' head, then she pointed her wand at it and sent off a spell.

"_Petrificus Totalus!_" she cried, firing off the Body Bind Curse.

The look of triumph on her face faded, however, when the spell bounced off the Illusion and hit her back, causing her entire body to become rigid and fall flat on her face. Faith Vanished the Illusion, as Dawn locked the door leading back into the school. Mordred then used the _Levicorpus_ spell, lifting her up into the air by the ankle. Dawn grabbed up Umbridge's wand after it fell out of her hands, handing it to Mordred who then pointed it at her with his left hand while pointing one of his own wands with his right hand. Dawn and Faith also both pointed their wands at the upside-down floating Umbridge.

"Well, well," said Faith with an evil grin, "looks like you've been Keyser Sozed! How does it feel, _bitch_?" She poked her wand into Umbridge's face, before hawking up and spitting up a nasty-looking piece of phlegm into Umbridge's open mouth.

"That's what you get for helping try to wipe out Slayers like B and I," she said vindictively, "B and I are going to have to take out the rest of the Ministry after you, but I'm gonna take personal pleasure in _guttin'_ you, bitch."

Faith then stood aside as Mordred pulled back his hood and raised his sunglasses. Even though she couldn't move, Umbridge's eyes widened in shock all the same as she stared into the depths of the black orbs with random clouds of white floating around that made up Mordred's eyes. He then winked at her before putting back on his glasses and hood.

"I guess you should have kept quiet on the whole 'part-humans are bad' thing you have," said Mordred, "otherwise Faith and I wouldn't have had so much reason to hate you so much."

The Triumvirate then formed a line in front of Umbridge, facing her in a horizontal manner before pointing their wands at her. Faith stood off to Mordred's left while Dawn stood at his right, pointing their wands while Mordred pointed both his and Umbridge's wand at her.

"Ok, who gets to go first?" asked Mordred to the others as he lowed his sunglasses back down. Dawn tapped him on the shoulder with her free hand.

"I'll go first," she volunteered, "besides there's something I've wanted to know about Umbridge that the books didn't exactly say."

She waved her wand in Umbridge's direction, pointing at her cardigan.

"_Vestitus Evanesco_" she said, Vanishing Umbridge's clothes so that she was down to her pink kitten skivvies.

"Nope," Dawn said in a disappointed voice, "no Dark Mark. She's not a Death Eater after all, just a politician. But still," Dawn perked up, "politicians are annoying insects that get in the way, and so she still deserves this. Your turn, Faith."

"My pleasure," said Faith, before waving her wand at Umbridge in a crisscrossing pattern. "_Sectumsempra!_"

Immediately, gashes began to appear all over Umbridge's face, torso, arms and legs. Her eyes bulged in pain as she floated helplessly above their heads. Mordred then waved his own wand in the same pattern as the Body-Bind Curse.

"_Putresco_ _Totalis!_" he called out, causing the cuts on Umbridge to rot as the other two watched. Black pus oozed out of Umbridge's eyes and mouth as the cuts all over her body turned green and festered. Dawn gulped in some air before setting a determined look on her face. She then pointed her wand at Umbridge while glaring at her angrily.

"_Vomo Stylommatophora_!" she said, causing Umbridge's mouth to open and pour out slugs as if from a tap. They wriggled all over her face and crawled through her hair, moving upwards over her chin and over her body, leaving trails of slime all over her. Faith looked over at Dawn and gave her a thumbs-up before looking back at Umbridge.

"_Interstringo!_" she said as she pointed her wand at Umbridge, causing Umbridge's body to be crushed as if by an invisible hydraulic press. Mordred then pointed his own wand at Umbridge, leaving her wand in his left hand unused so far.

"_Castro Genitalus!_" he said pointing at her crotch, causing Umbridge's entire body to shudder with pain in spite of the Body-Bind Curse placed on her as her ovaries exploded inside her, causing her to gush blood like a sieve.

The other girls looked over at Mordred with disgust, but then went about casting other spells in rapid fire. Faith set Umbridge's feet on fire and burned them into crisps while Dawn froze Umbridge's hands and shattered them into pieces, leaving icy stumps for wrists. Mordred dehydrated Umbridge's body while Dawn caused all the slime trails on her to freeze up, leaving painful slime-cicles on her that cut into her skin. The three then shot lightening into her body, causing it to shudder and burn as they kept up the pressure. Faith and Dawn mixed a Furnunculus Curse with a Jelly-Legs Jinx and hit her with that, while Mordred hit her with an Insect Jinx, causing her to sprout feelers on her head that he immediately ripped off with his bare hands. They then hit her with some more spells, and only when a rooster crowed did Dawn realize how late it was getting.

"We've got to finish this off soon," she said to the others, who nodded reluctantly. "One last spell before we go."

"I have a speech to give her," said Mordred, "it's not much but I really want to give it to her before I hit her with her own wand."

"Better make it quick," said Dawn, "we can't be up here forever."

"Ok, here it goes," Mordred, said before looking directly at what was left of Umbridge. "This is a verse I read somewhere that I liked, although I modified it a bit."

"'The path of the _righteous_ one is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil people.'" Mordred said in a raising voice while walking around the others. "'_Blessed_ is thine, who in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of Deadlights, for thine is _truly_ their sibling's keeper and the _finder_ of lost children.'" Mordred walked back and forth in front of Umbridge before turning to stare her in the eyes as his voice gradulally became louder. "'And I will _strike down_ upon thee with great _vengeance_ and _furious_ anger those who attempt to _harm and destroy_ my siblings.'" His voice became a shout as he raised back Umbridge's wand in preparation to strike. "'And you will know I am a True servant of the Void when I _lay my vengeance upon thee_!'"

He then pointed Umbridge's wand at her and shouted out loud one of the three Unforgivable Curses.

"_Crucio_!" he said, holding Umbridge's wand out at her and sending the spell into her as the others watched her body buckle with the pain.

Mordred held it for ten full minutes before using his own wand to Levitate her way into the clouds while keeping the Cruciatus Curse on her, where she was hit by random bolts of lightening that burned her flesh and caused her to catch on fire. Mordred then flicked his own wand quickly, Transfiguring her necklace into a millstone around her head and sending her plummeting headfirst down into the lake while he held the Cruciatus Curse on her all the way down. Only when she hit the water with a large splash did he let go of the Torture Curse.

"Fastest reader I've ever seen," Mordred quipped to the others, "one hundred stories down in ten seconds." He then floated Umbridge's wand in the air before snapping his fingers, causing PaniChaos to appear on his shoulder.

"Spread the word that Babylon has fallen," said Mordred, "sow the seeds of despair into the hearts of our enemies and hope into our friends. You two, let's go find our friend Malfoy and give him a sincere thank you." PaniChaos then went flying through the air into the Castle, screaming over and over 'Babylon the Great has fallen!' over and over again.

"One last thing before we go," said Mordred, as he Levitated Umbridge's wand up in the air and then shot it full of energy.

He then blasted the wand into the air; creating a giant glowing Smiley Face composed of multicoloured sparks with a bullet-shaped hole between its eyes in the air. The three of them then went down the stairs on the way to the basement where Draco was held.

Meanwhile, PaniChaos flew over the students that were waiting in the Great Hall, causing the IS to become confused as they had no idea what the stuff it was shouting meant. Harry had already heard from Dawn's snake however, so he was able to give the others an idea as to what was happening.

"Now!" said Buffy, as she and the other captive students threw off their ropes and began firing spells at the IS.

Other DA members began casting spells at the IS members, and they were then joined by more Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and (surprisingly) a few Slytherin students who didn't like how Malfoy and his goons treated them. Before anyone knew it the fight was over, as the IS members all lay on the ground, victims of various Hexes, Jinxes and Curses.

"Ok, let's round up all these gits and put them somewhere where they can't get out of for a while," said Harry as some of the younger students took to Levitating the IS members and floating them off out of the Great Hall while some more students stayed to distract the awakening Professors. Harry looked over the others as they huddled together.

"Nice Impediment Jinx Neville," said Harry, "and that Bat-Bogey Hex was a rather well done, Ginny."

"We still have to get Malfoy," said Hermione, "otherwise he'll tell Professor Snape or worse, he'll contact the Ministry somehow."

"Ok, the three of us should go," said Harry, "the others should stay here in case the Professors start asking questions."

The Golden Trio then rushed towards the stairs leading to the Dungeons. Meanwhile, the Triumvirate were in the Dungeon Six with Malfoy, and they were listening to him whine.

"You've got to believe me," he said in a shrill voice, "I've always been a supporter of the Ministry. My father has so many connections in it we could probably run it without the Dark Lord's help. Why would I want to join a group that leads to the Ministry's destruction, let alone lead it. Umbridge is crazy."

"Hey, it could be worse," said Mordred in a contrite manner, "a woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car."

"What the Hell are you talking about?" whined Draco, "nothing can be worse than this. You three, we've had our differences sure, what with the three of you being Mud-Bloods and not being a part of anything special other than Slytherin, but we've got to pull together on this and see to it that this 'DM' is found out."

"I really see where you're coming with this," said Dawn to him while grinning a false grin.

"Good to hear," said Draco angrily.

"This is pure genius, sir," added Faith.

"Damn straight," replied an uncomprehending Draco as the others advanced on him.

"You're really going to be an inspiration for everyone," claimed Mordred as the three students went closer to Draco. Draco became slightly nervous, as they got closer.

"You said that if _anyone_ ever interferes with Development: Mayhem," said Faith.

"Even if it's _you_," added Dawn.

"We gotta get his balls." Concluded Mordred, before pulling his wand out and shooting Draco's wand into the air where Faith caught it.

"You're making a big mistake!" Draco cried out as they advanced on him.

"You said you would say that." Commented Faith as she went to one side of Draco while Mordred brandished a razor sharp, hooked knife menacingly.

"I'm not the DM leader!" Draco whined desperately as he backed against the wall.

"You told us you'd say that, too." Said Dawn. Draco then tried to find his courage again, and decided for one last ploy.

"All right then, I'm the DM leader, so listen to me," Draco said as sternly as he could, "I'm giving you a direct order, we're aborting this mission right now." The Triumvirate however, were not swayed at all.

"You said you would _definitely_ say that." Said Mordred, as he used his wand to sharpen the knife with a Sharpening Spell.

His knife glittered in the torch light, causing Draco's nerves to give out completely. Draco slid back on the wall whimpering as Dawn and Faith grabbed his arms and legs, tearing off his robes and pants while Mordred continued to sharpen the knife. Dawn produced a rubber band as Faith grabbed onto Draco's shorts, and she was about to rip them off of him when the door opened and the Golden Trio barged in. The two triads stared at one another, the Triumvirate with looks of annoyance, while the Trio had looks of pure horror on their faces. As they stared at one another Draco passed out cold from sheer fright and slumped to the ground as urine soaked his shorts.

"What were you planning on _doing_ to him?" Asked Hermione in a horrified voice. Dawn and Faith sort of lost their voices, but Mordred was quick to jump in.

"After castrating him?" he asked matter-of-factly, "I was gonna rip off one of his arms, tear out his large intestine and wrap it around myself so I'd be able to carry him like a drum, and then I was gonna go around the school banging about his ass with his own arm to a musical beat. Now with you here that's been shot to Hell."

"Blimey!" swore Ron, "you guys really _are_ crazy. What did you do with Umbridge?"

"We let her go," said Faith with a grin, "about a hundred feet above the lake. She's swimming with the fishes now, probably looking for a Shamu-sized mate of her own as we speak."

"Let's get out of here before Snape comes," said Harry, who was looking over his shoulder to see if Snape was anywhere near them.

"What about him?" asked Dawn as she pointed at the unconscious Draco, "can't we finish him off?"

"_No_ you can't!" shouted Hermione in a disgusted voice, "and you can't castrate or gut him or any of the other horrible things you plan on doing to him either. Just Stun him, put him in a Body-Bind Curse and drop him off in the girl's washroom where the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is; that's where all the other IS members are being put."

"Ok, we'll help out," said Faith, "Dawn, you go get Spike, he's probably napping in the Chamber and we wouldn't want him to feed on our guests, now would we? Mordy, get Taltos ready, you and I need to go do something before we can help out. We'll meet you all outside when we're all done, by Hagrid's hut, ok?"

The others nodded, and then they all set off after Stunning and Petrifiying Draco, with Dawn floating him in the air while following the Golden Trio to the Chamber while Mordred and Faith went towards the Owlery Tower. The Trio and Dawn met up with Buffy, who was standing inside the bathroom nearby the pile of unconscious bodies.

"I'll need you to open the fountain Harry," said Buffy, "as I don't speak snake-ese that well."

Harry opened the fountain using Parselmouth, and the students all began dropping the IS members down the hole. Dawn went down last riding an unconscious Draco, finding an irritated Spike when she landed on the cushion of bodies at the bottom.

"Hello lil' bit," drawled Spike, "you sending me some food for payment for all the help I've given you guys?"

"No, nothing like that," replied Dawn with a wy grin, "we just need you to put these guys away for a few days so they don't get into any trouble."

"Ok, lil bit," said Spike as he grabbed up some bodies and carried them back to the main Chamber as Dawn Levitated the others, "you don't mind if I take a bite out of a few of them, do you?"

She smiled at his obvious joking as Harry and Buffy both came down to help out carry the others IS members. Buffy loaded Crabbe and Goyle onto her shoulders before Levitating Pansy and Millicent into the air. Harry Levitated Montague and Cassius into the air, and they went off to the Chamber, where they placed the IS members into a cage.

"We should remember them before school ends," said Buffy, "otherwise they'll starve down here."

The two Gryffindors and Dawn then went back up top using a ladder, and after looking for and not finding any signs of trouble they then went back to their separate House Tables for breakfast. Dawn then went over to where Flitwick and Harry's broom were both hidden, and after outsmarting the Troll by Levitating its club and knocking it out she released Flitwick and got Harry's broom off the wall and into her dorm. The Professors that were left were slightly puzzled as to the amount of students missing, but put it off as something to do with post-celebration hangovers. They didn't really care about the missing Umbridge, as they knew her office was destroyed they thought she had finally had it and left the school after letting Flitwick go. This made them happy, as they were all thouroughly sick of her reign, although they did wonder about the giant sized happy face floating over the Castle all the same.

"Maybe you could become the new Headmaster," suggested Mordred when Snape passed him by, "if but for a few days at least. It'd be neat having our Head of House as the Headmaster of the school."

Snape only grinned slightly at Mordred before heading over to the staff table, where he confered with the other teachers. As there was no real school that day the Triumvirate set outside with their brooms, where they met up with Buffy and the Golden Trio. Dawn tossed Harry's broom to him when she got to him.

"So, what's the sitch, Faith?" asked Buffy when they all got together inside the Quidditch Pitch, "what did you and Mordred do while we were lugging bodies all over the Castle?"

"Hey, it's not like we didn't do anything helpful either," said Faith, "we Cursed the Umbridge, and her goons, and their wee birdies, too!" said Faith triumphantly.

"You Cursed their owls?" said Ron in a shocked voice, "why'd you do that for?"

"To stop them from getting messages out." Faith replied. She then saw the look of concern on Hermione's face.

"Don't worry, we only Stunned them before I had Mordred to get his bird to guard them." She said reassuringly.

"Ah actually," Mordred said in a cautionary voice, "you told me to get _Taltos_ to guard them."

"Isn't he your bird?" asked Faith.

"No, he's the snake," replied Mordred, "PaniChaos is the bird. Although, if it's any consolation," Mordred said to the now horrified group, "I only doused the birds in lemon sauce as opposed to barbeque sauce before giving them to Taltos." He then grinned. "It's a snake-eat-bird world out here."

"You really are horrible," said Hermione when she found her voice again, "feeding poor defenceless birds -"

"Who would have been used by Umbridge and her goons to alert the Ministry to what we were doing," interrupted Faith, "and caused us some serious grief. We just avoided that altogether."

"Granted, our first idea of just holding onto the birds was better," said Dawn with an off look at Mordred, "but considering that Malfoy has more than enough money to buy a whole flock of owls, it's not something we're going to lose sleep over."

"Say, that gives me an idea," said Mordred suddenly, "we rob the Malfoys next, get them to lose their social standing. Let's see how well the Death Eaters do when they don't have as much financial support."

"Maybe during the summer," said Dawn tiredly, "after school is over and the four of us find a place to stay during the summer. Then we'll see about that."

"We also still need a way to prove to the rest of the Wizarding World that Voldemort is back," said Harry, "otherwise the Ministry is going to just send another Umbridge clone to Hogwarts next year."

"I have an idea," said Dawn suddenly, "you know on how you were dreaming of a corridor in the Department of Mysteries before taking Occlumency? My guess is Voldemort is trying to get a prophecy from there, something about you and him."

"You keep on saying it's a prophecy as if you have seen it yourself," said Harry suspiciously, "how do you know so much about it?"

"Yeah, you have seemed to know what was going to happen before it did most of the time this year," said Hermione, "I thinks it's only fair that you tell us a bit more if you want us to believe you."

"Yeah," added Ron, "tell us what you know."

Buffy and the Triumvirate looked back and forth from one another before Dawn shrugged her shoulders.

"You guys are going to have to wait a bit longer," she said, "but I promise I'll tell you everything when Dumbledore gets back, ok?"

The Trio nodded their heads reluctantly but still continued to stare at them suspiciously. Faith coughed in her hand and Mordred held their stare with a small grin while Dawn fidgeted nervously, Buffy decided to change the topic.

"Say Mordred," she asked suddenly, "did you ask Snape about your idea for a Quidditch match between the students and teachers?"

The Trio looked on in interest from Buffy to Mordred, as he grinned widely at them all.

"With Umbridge gone it'll be easier to suggest to the other teachers," he said, "although with Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Hagrid gone the teacher's team will be sort a few people. It'll be a harder sell right now, although Professor Snape did seem interested."

"Maybe we should all practice?" suggested Dawn as she raised her broomstick, "how about Harry, Mordred and I versus Ron, Buffy and Faith while Hermione refs? It'll be Parselmouths versus Slackers in a six-person Quidditch match."

"Slackers, are we?" asked Buffy amusedly as she, Ron and Faith burst off the ground.

They went over to the South side while Dawn, Harry and Mordred flew off to the North side and Hermione grabbed up the Quaffle. Ron and Mordred played goal, while the other four played Chasers. They spent the better part of the day playing, with occasional spectators from the other Houses coming out and cheering either side. Extra members came out, and pretty soon both teams were changed up a few times as more people from various Houses came out to join in the fun.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42: Ministry Mayhem**

That night, an urgent message was found addressed from the Ministry to Umbridge. As she was nowhere to be found, it was left in the hands of the remaining IS members to keep until she arrived. The Triumvirate opened it the moment they got back to their dorms, and read it to themselves before Mordred sent PaniChaos to get the Golden Trio and Buffy out of bed. The two groups met in the Room of Requirement where they found Neville, Ginny and Luna all practicing Hexes.

"What's this about," asked Harry as the others gather around the note Dawn was holding on to. She cleared her throat before giving it to Harry. Harry looked over it and gasped.

"'Dear Dolores,'" he read aloud to the others, "'since the disappearance of Dumbledore and the recent injuries of McGonagall, it has been debated whether or not we should allow Harry Potter to continue to have free reign in spreading more stories about You-Know-Who's reappearance. It has been decided that tomorrow morning, Harry will have to be taken into custody for his own good as well as for the good of the community, so that we can avoid a repeat of last year's debacle. I've already assembled a team of Aurors ready to take care of Harry when we arrive there tomorrow, so please send a response the moment you read this to confirm where Harry will be at in the school grounds.' They mean to arrest me?" Harry asked out loud in shock as the message sank into him.

"Of course," said Mordred, "what else do you do when you have a faulty equation? You erase it from the board and start over."

"What do we do?" asked Hermione, "the Minister expects a reply tonight from Umbridge."

"Then we give him one," said Buffy stoically, "but one that we give to him in person as well as written."

"What do you mean by that?" asked Harry as he lowered the note and gave it to the others to read.

"What she means is that we send a reply from you," said Faith, "telling Fudgey that his precious Umbridge is gone and that if they want to get you, you'll be in the Department of Mysteries tonight."

"What?" asked five of the Gryffindors as they looked on in shock at what Faith suggested. Luna looked on calmly while Dawn elaborated on her plan.

"Well, Voldemort has been trying to goad you into going to the Department of Mysteries for some time now," she explained, "so that you can grab up the prophecy pertaining to him and you for himself. He'll be setting up a trap using his Death Eaters, so we should set up a trap of our own."

"What do you suggest we do?" asked Ginny, but before Dawn could answer Ron interrupted.

"You're not coming," said Ron, "you're too young."

"I'm three years older than you three were when you fought You-Know-Who over the Philosopher's Stone," she said fiercely, "and I helped out take down the IS when you three were tied up."

"We were all in the DA together," said Neville quietly, "it was all supposed to be about fighting You-Know-Who, wasn't it? And this is the first chance we've had to do something real – or was that all just a game or something?"

"No – of course it wasn't –" said Harry impatiently.

"Then we should come too," said Neville simply, "we want to help."

"The ten of us should go," said Dawn, "as any more would be a bit too suspicious. We might be able to get Spike to come with us, but then we'd need to get something for him to fly on."

"Spike's a Vampire, right?" asked Luna, "he can ride on a Thestral, as they've always liked being around Vampires."

"Ok, it's settled then," said Buffy, "Harry, you write a reply to Fudge telling him where to find you while Faith and I stock up on some extra weapons. Mordred, you go get Spike and a Thestral for him to ride on. Then we meet back here with our brooms and head off to the Department of Mysteries."

"Just curious," Neville asked the Triumvirate, "but how come you three aren't in Gryffindor? You're all awfully brave for Slytherins."

"It's ambition instead of bravery for us," said Mordred as he rubbed his hands greedily together, "we got about a hundred points just for mounting the Basilisk's head on our wall, and several thousand Galleons for capturing Bagman and 'Sirius'. Think of how many points and Galleons we're gonna get when we hang Riddles' head right next to the Basilisks'? Easy money right there, not to mention fame and glory for the rest of our lives."

Harry then sat down to write his reply while Mordred, Faith and Buffy went off on their separate errands. He had already finished when they came back carrying a bag of weapons and eight Firebolts in total.

"Whoa," said Ron while the others goggled at the brooms, "how'd you get so many and why?"

"We stole them from the area where Bagman was hiding," said Mordred, "as we wanted to have spares in case we needed them. Spike is waiting outside on the Astronomy Tower; he has a Thestral for him to fly on. These extras are for Luna, Ron, Hermione, and Neville as Ginny and Harry each already have your own Firebolts. Ok then, let's get moving."

The ten students then went up the floors to the Astronomy Tower, where they found Spike sitting on top of his Thestral. Harry sent an owl with his letter off, and then they all took off, soaring in the air over Hogwarts grounds. They passed by Hogsmeade and several Muggle villages, their lights shining in the dark. After a half an hour's journey, they were over London where the Ministry was located.

"Where do we go from here?" Luna asked Harry as they dismounted. She was looking around the area as if she was on an interesting daytrip instead of a rescue mission. At Ginny's suggestion they all stowed their brooms on the Thestral, as it would be harder for someone to steal their brooms from it than just hiding them.

"Hey Ron," asked Mordred as they gave their brooms to the Thestral, "did I ever tell yah you've got a smart sister who's also hot to boot?" Ron rolled his eyes before answering.

"Enough times for me to never, _ever_ give you our Owling address." He said as Ginny gagged before Harry called them over.

"Over here," said Harry as he went to the battered telephone booth and got in, "come on in."

The others squashed themselves in after him, as Mordred closed the door and Harry dialed the phone. He then said all their names before saying they were there 'on business', getting them all badges with their names on them. The floor of the telephone booth shuddered and the pavement rose past its glass windows, as darkness closed over their heads as they sank down into the depths of the Ministry of Magic.

"Ok you guys," said Mordred before they got to the bottom, "I'm going to perform a Disillusionment Charm on some of us, so we're going to be able to sneak up on the Death Eaters when they surround Harry and friends when Harry finds the prophecy. We'll be right behind you until we're in the prophecy room, then we'll try to get behind the Death Eaters."

Mordred rapped his wand over the heads of Dawn, Faith, Buffy, Spike and himself so that when the elevator reached the ground they were transparent. They moved silently behind the six others through the empty Atrium, with the only sounds being the rush of water from the golden fountain, where jets of water from the statues all poured into the surrounding pool. Mordred and Dawn waved their wands over the pool before they all got on a lift that had appeared past the golden gates. They went down to the ninth level to the Department of Mysteries, where they found the room some of them had seen via the Pensieve that Harry had dreamed of. Harry walked over to the plain black door at the end of the corridor and pushed it open to a small circular room. They all entered, but before they closed the door Dawn placed a string of glue across the threshold to mark the door. Everything in the room was black, the walls, the floor, the ceiling, and even the twelve plain, black, handle-less doors; the only colours there were from the candles that burned blue flames. When the door was shut, there was a great rumbling sound and the candles began to move sideways as the entire room rotated. The blue flames span so fast they blurred, before stopping suddenly. Before Harry went to the doors, Dawn tapped him on the shoulder and went to one of the doors herself.

"Where's the Time Room," Dawn asked the doors, "which way to the Hall of Prophecy?"

Suddenly, the door off to their left sprung open, as if obeying her command. It revealed a room filled with beautiful, dancing, diamond-sparkling light. Clocks were located all over the room, filling the air with a relentless ticking like thousands of minuscule, marching footsteps. The source of the sparking light was found to be a huge crystal bell jar that stood at the far end of the room, where it stood on a desk. It appeared to be full of a billowing, glittering wind, with a small hummingbird rising and falling on the glittering current. As it moved up and down, it grew older or younger each time. Behind it was a door that Harry pushed open as the others all pulled out their wands. The door opened to a vast cold chamber that was as high as a cathedral, filled with row upon row of towering shelves. On these shelves were hundreds of small, dusty, glass orbs, each with a yellowed and dusty label affixed below and glowing duly from the light cast off of the blue-flame candles that were set at intervals along the shelves.

"_Go to row ninety-seven_," whispered Dawn to Harry, "_we'll be around_." She then slipped Harry a small orb in a bag.

"_When the Death Eaters ask for the prophecy_," she whispered further, "_wait for our sign, and throw this at them. It'll give you time to get out of the way."_

"_What sign will you give?_" asked Harry nervously, as he didn't like the idea of being bait.

"_Other prophecies flying off the shelves_," responded Dawn, "_and hitting the Death Eaters_."

She then walked away as he went over with the others behind him to the row he was told to go to, and they found a dusty glass sphere a short distance down row ninety-seven.

"S.P.T. to A.P.W.B.D." read Harry, "Dark Lord and – Harry Potter? This must be the prophecy Dawn told us about."

The second he grabbed it off the shelf, twelve Death Eaters revealed themselves behind the visible DA members. They were dressed in black KKK-style robes complete with longhorns on their heads and skull-faced masks on their faces. The Slytherin Triumvirate, Spike and Buffy all got out of the way as over twenty Low People showed up, dressed in robes with hoods on but no masks. Instead, their faces seemed to be stretched, and they had gaping red holes in their foreheads. One seven-foot tall individual with who was also wearing a large black helmet that covered his head, as well as gloves on his hands, led them. Amongst them were some Grandfather Vampires that were covered in writhing Little Doctor bugs and standing with blue collars around their necks that led to the ropes that the Low People held them with.

"Very good Potter," drawled Lucius Malfoy, "now turn around, nice and slowly, and give that to me."


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43:**** Ok, Who Ordered the Apocalypse with a Side of Whoop-Ass?**

"This is a bit more than I expected," mumbled Dawn while invisibly standing ten feet from the back of the nearest Low Person. The Low People were milling behind the Death Eaters, staring at Harry and his friends with malicious intent. The seven-foot individual walked up next to Lucius as the Death Eater held out his hand for the prophecy Harry was holding.

"The Dark Lord always knows!" said a harsh female voice from right side of the Death Eater. The others laughed as Lucius responded.

"Always," he echoed softly, "now give me the prophecy, Potter."

"And while you're at it," said the large, helmeted individual, "give us the Key, as it is ours to begin with."

"Key?" asked Harry confusedly as the eyes of the Scooby's all widened involuntarily, "what key?"

"Give us the Key, little hume," snarled the unknown individual, "and we shall all go away."

"Patience, O'Mego," said Lucius with an uncharacteristically nervous voice, "first we get the prophecy, then you can have your fun getting the 'Key' off of them." Lucius then pointed at Harry.

"I would advise you strongly that you do what we say," said Lucius as he pointed his thumb at O'Mego, "I've seen what this individual can do by himself, it's quite brutal, and coming from one of the Dark Lord's most favoured that is saying something. Now, give us the prophecy and no one gets hurt."

Harry laughed at this as he and his friends drew wands. The five invisible individuals all grabbed up weapons and moved over to the other side where they Levitated some prophesies, waiting for the right time to strike.

"Yeah right," said Harry, "I give you this prophecy, and you'll just let us skip off home, will you?"

He then slipped it into his robes while keeping his eye out for a sign from Buffy and friends. He saw some orbs floating in the air, and fingered the bag Dawn had given him before pulling it out of his robes. The Death Eaters eyes went to it, as he saw one of them step away from the others and take off her mask and horn from her head. Her stay in Azkaban had hollowed out her face, as it was very gaunt and skull-like, but Bellatrix Lestrange's face was alive with a feverish, fanatical glow.

"You need more persuasion?" she asked with her chest rapidly rising and falling with each breath, "very well then." She then pointed at Ginny with her wand and looked at the other Death Eaters.

"Take the smallest one," she ordered the others beside her, "let him watch while we torture the little girl. _I'll_ do it myself."

"You'll have to smash this if you want to attack any of us," Harry said as he stepped in front of Ginny and held up the bag, "I don't think your boss will be too pleased if you came back without it, will he?"

"Enough about this prophecy business," said O'Mego savagely, "show us where the Key is or I'll personally let the Grandfathers on to you. They're very hungry, and rather angry as their numbers have been dwindled since the return of the Slayer in this world. You lot would make some very fine snacks for them tonight."

"No!" shouted Lucius loudly at O'Mego, "we need the prophecy! Without it -"

But the rest of what Lucius had to say was drowned out as the Low People began rattling the chains holding the Grandfathers, getting them to start growling loudly in the quiet room. The other Death Eaters looked back nervously at the Grandfathers, some clutching their wands as if ready for an attack. They did not see the orbs above their heads, but Harry saw a small light flickering from where Dawn was.

"Ok, so you want this prophecy?" asked Harry as he started swinging the bag, "here, catch!"

And he lobbed the bag at the group of Low People, who all grabbed at it while letting go of the chains for the Grandfathers. The bag had no sooner landed in the hand of one of the Low People before it exploded, covering the Death Eaters, Low People and Grandfathers in paralyzing light. The Triumvirate and Buffy dropped the other prophecies into their midst as the DA members all ran out of the way.

"Run!" yelled Dawn as she and the others became visible and trained their wands on the shelves where the other DA members had been standing under beforehand.

The other DA members also pointed their wands at the shelves and they all blasted them with Reductor Curses, making the shelves explode upon impact. The towering structure swayed and splintered as it came crashing down on the fleeing Death Eaters and Low People, crushing one Death Eater and three Low People underneath it. Mordred pointed one of his wands at O'Mego and yelled '_Accio_ Helmet', sending the helmet flying off of his head and into one of the Death Eaters. The others looked on in shock at O'Mego's face, and even the Death Eaters stopped and stared at him as they all saw that he had a bird's head where a human head should have been.

"Fucking Ka-Humes!" shouted O'Mego loudly, "always ruining simple plans with their stupidity."

He turned to the other Low People that were coming in droves around the Hall and pointed at the ones that were still holding onto the chains of the Grandfathers.

"Unleash the Grandfathers!" He yelled, before addressing the monsters themselves. "Kill anything that moves!"

Ginny then pointed her wand at one of the Low People and shot her Bat-Bogey Hex at it, it grabbed at its face as the Bat Bogeys came out of its nose and pulled off its mask, exposing its head as that of a red rats' head, complete with elongated teeth and ears. The rat-headed man then began grabbing at the Bat Bogeys as they poured out of his snout and attacked his face, while Faith lined up a knife and threw it at him, catching him in the throat. He stopped clutching at the Bogeys and began clutching at his neck instead, as gouts of blackish blood spurted from his neck as if from a fountain as he fell to the ground. Faith, Spike and Buffy then grabbed up their melee weapons and advanced on the Grandfathers while Mordred laughed maniacally as he blasted the monsters with fire from his wands, while occasionally Levitating orbs off the shelves and shooting them into the Death Eaters.

"Split up people," Buffy ordered the others as they ran past Mordred, "Mordy, you take care of Luna, Ginny, and Ron. Dawn, you go with Harry, Hermione and Neville. Whatever happens, don't get killed guys."

With that, she went over to help out Faith and Spike, who had picked up the fallen Death Eater's wand, in Slaying the Grandfathers while Dawn's group went towards the Time Room and Mordred led his group towards the Planet Room. As Dawn's group got in Hermione slammed the door shut and locked it with the Colloportus Charm.

"Listen!" whispered Neville as shouts and roars echoed from behind the door they had just sealed. The footsteps and shouts of Death Eaters who were now running for their lives came, as Lucius and Bellatrix both tried to maintain a semblance of order.

"Death Eaters, to me!" said Lucius roared over the din of fighting and crashing sounds, "these petty Vampires and their minions will be nothing to the Dark Lord if we lose the prophecy. Jugson, come back here, we need to organize!" Dawn looked over the room they were hiding in as the others listened to what Lucius said.

"We'll split into pairs and search, and don't forget, be gentle with Potter until we've got the prophecy, you can kill the others if necessary," said Lucius savagely as he spoke to the others, "Lestranges, you two take the left. Crabbe, Rabastan, you go right. Jugson, Dolohov, the door straight ahead. Macnair and Avery, you go through here and Rookwood, you go over there. Mulciber, you come with me!"

The sounds of footsteps running came pounding through the air as the four DA members looked for hiding places. Dawn stood behind the door, getting out her dagger from her wristband while Harry, Hermione and Neville hid underneath one of the desks. They tried to wave Dawn over, but the door was opened with an Alohomora Charm.

The Death Eaters made their way past the open door, not bothering to look behind it as they rushed into the room and began looking around. Dawn soundlessly slid behind them both. She knew she'd have to be fast or she'd be hit with a Curse and the others would be discovered.

While one of the Death Eaters bent to look under the desk, Dawn grabbed the still standing Death Eater and slid her blade across his throat fatally. He didn't even have a chance to scream and she was already jumping out of the way as the kneeling Death Eater was sent flying from the force of the three Gryffindors' Stunners headfirst into the Bell Jar. They watched in awe as his head shrank, turning into a baby's head. Dawn and Harry both raised their wands to strike, but Hermione stopped them both.

"You can't hurt a baby," she said disbelievingly, before noticing the spraying blood coming from the still twitching corpse of the other Death Eater.

She looked back at Dawn as she was wiping her knife on her robes and putting it back into her wristband before looking at the others. The others stared at her in surprise, as she'd killed someone without a second thought and in a very messy way compared what they were used to seeing.

"You killed him!" Hermione exclaimed as Neville looked at the corpse with a greening look on his face.

"Shhh! It was either the ugly guy or one of us," Dawn whispered to the three others as she grabbed up the fallen Death Eaters' wands, "and I'm _not_ going to let it be one of us! Get going now! We'll be able to use baby-head there as a distraction."

The four of them ran off towards the opposite door, going into the black hallway as a Grandfather came crashing into the room through the open door. They watched in horror as he grabbed up the baby-headed Death Eater and drained him dry by biting its head and then chomping it off. It looked around, but was roasted with fire from Faiths' wand as she ran at it while swinging her axe and decapitating it. She then ran back outside, where Buffy and Spike were taking on a horde of Low People and Grandfathers. Two of them would fight the Grandfathers while another hid until the monsters had their backs to them, before swooping in and decapitating them. They would repeat this process several times, slowly but surely whittling down the sheer number of Grandfathers that they had to fight against. Each time a Grandfather was dusted, swarms of Little Doctors were released onto the ground where they tried crawling up everyone's legs, making it harder for people to walk.

The leader of the Low People, O'Mego, stood watching the action unfold in front of him, his beak clacking up and down occasionally. He reached into his pockets and pulled out a black orb of his own.

"This should liven up the action," he whispered as he tossed it at the ground, where it shattered and exploded into smoke. Immediately, several Dementor forms came floating out of the smoke, circling above it in a reverse vortex. When they came to a stop they hovered above O'Mego's head, where they waited for his orders.

"Find a strong source of power," said O'Mego to the Dementors, "that should tell us where the Key is located."

The Dementors then flew off in various directions, leaving O'Mego to slink back into the shadows and watch.

Dawn's group had watched all this from the closed doors and gasped, before they pulled the doors closed and headed into a small dark cluttered office. Dawn again hid behind a shelf and grabbed up a plank while Hermione tried to lock the door, but before the door could be locked two more Death Eaters smashed through the door and hit them all with various Jinxes.

_"Expelliarmus!"_ cried out one Death Eaters, as Harry's wand went spinning out of his hand.

"We've got him!" yelled the Death Eater who had knocked Harry's wand out of his hand, "in an office off-"

"Silencio!" cried Hermione, causing the man's voice to stop.

He continued to try to speak, but no sounds came from his mouth. The other Death Eater thrust him aside, but Harry quickly hit him with a Body-Bind Curse. Hermione turned to congratulate Harry, but Dawn saw the first Death Eater start a slashing motion with his wand, so she jumped out of her hiding space and hit him as hard as she could with the plank. The plank hit the Death Eater directly on the side of the head, knocking him out just as spurts of purple flame went past Hermione's chest. Hermione gave a small gasp, but didn't drop to the ground as most of the spell's power was knocked out along with the caster.

"Are you okay?" she asked Hermione in a slightly worried voice. Hermione nodded her answer as Harry grabbed up his wand, but the involuntary cringe that Hermione gave while moving showed how much pain the spell caused her.

"You're lucky that spell didn't hit you full force," said Dawn as she grabbed Hermione by one arm while Neville grabbed her other arm, "we have to tell the others Dementors are now searching for them. But first -"

Dawn grabbed up the Death Eaters wands again and placed them into her robes, but when she took out her knife again Harry blocked her from the two indisposed Death Eaters.

"_Petrificus Totalus_" Harry said pointing his wand at the unconscious Death Eater before looking back at Dawn, "we can't go about killing them all, as that will make us no better than they are. Now, lets go!"

They went over to the Rotating Room, where they found Dawn's marking had stayed on the door they came in at. Dawn marked the door they came through, and they waited as the doors all spun around them. When they stopped, Luna, Ginny, Ron, and Mordred (who was cackling madly) all came crashing through one of the doors.

"Ron! Ginny!" cried Harry as he dashed towards them, "are you all -?"

"Just peachy, thank you," said Mordred laughingly, before looking back at Ginny, "here, let me fix that."

He then pointed his wand at Ginny's foot and muttered an incantation, emitting a soft glow around Ginny's foot. She gasped slightly as bones mended in her foot. She then put some weight on it, and found that she could move again. Harry then looked at Luna, who was helping out a panting Ron as he was rubbing his hands in his eyes.

"Four Death Eaters chased us into a dark room full of planets, it was a very odd place, some of the time we were just floating in the dark," explained Luna, "anyway, one of them grabbed Ginny's foot, so I used the Reductor Curse and blew up Pluto in his face, but then some of the Grandfather Vampires came in and Mordred here hit several of the stars and sun into one another and caused them all to flash very brightly." Mordred chuckled slightly.

"Yeah, the Gramp-Vamps there are now dust and the Death Eaters are now all doing Ray Charles impressions," said Mordred with a grin as he showed them the wands he had stolen, "too bad Ron here caught some of the blast as well. Nothing for it but to wait it out."

"We have to get to Buffy, Faith and Spike," said Dawn urgently, "Dementors have been set loose here, they need to be warned."

"Ok, lets head to the Brain Room," said Dawn as the door for it sprang open at her command, "there's enough doors in there we can access other rooms as well from it."

"How do you -?" Hermione began, but Mordred shushed her.

"No time for that, let's get moving." Said Dawn as she and the others went through the door.

They ran across the room, occasionally looking through doors to check out the action. Suddenly, Luna gave out a cry as she was sent flying through the air, hitting a desk and sliding on to the floor where she lay motionless as five Death Eaters and several more Low People came surging through the door. Mordred's laughter stopped instantly, and he gave out a howl of pure rage. Mordred's shades became outlined with black fire, and deep black veins sparkling with energy could be seen over his deathly white skin on his face. Dark power crackled around him, and sparks of electricity poured off of his hands as if it were water. He then pointed his wand at one of the Low People.

"_Exuo Cutis!" _He said quietly, but there was no mistaking the raw power in his voice.

A loud tearing sound was heard as the Low Person went soaring backwards while leaving the rest of his skin to drop on the ground, the rest of his body sent splattering against the solid stone walls. Drops of black blood splattered all over the Death Eaters and Low People, and they all stood shocked at the amount of power he was showing. He then pointed his other wand and threw a Hex at another Low Person, causing an explosion that promptly turned the figure into stone, which crashed to the ground and shattered into pieces. There was no disguising the draining of colour from the student's faces or the pure fear that Harry felt when Mordred slowly turned to look over at him.

"_No-one_ hurts my friends and lives." Mordred growled quietly, as the veins in his face pulsed darkly and his hands shook with electricity. The Death Eaters shot Stunning Spells at him, but his sphere of protection blocked them all. Lucius held up his hand and pointed at Mordred to get his attention.

"Why do you fight against the Dark Lord?" he asked Mordred as Mordred pulsed with Dark energy, "surely your Dark Magic would be better served on our side?" But Dawn was quick to answer him.

"We're fighting you because we're on the _winning_ side," she said to him as Mordred absorbed the last of the Stunners, "didn't you learn anything during your years in Slytherin, or have you been sucking Riddle's cock for so long that you've forgotten what actual _ambition_ tastes like?"

Lucius then sent a Stunner at Dawn, who quickly dodged and then sent out a spell of her own.

"_Wingardium Leviosa!_" she cried as she pointed her wand at Lucius.

The spell had the same effect as on a feather, as the Death Eater rose up and zoomed backwards, smashing into a wall and knocking him out. Inspired by this success, she Levitated several other Death Eaters and Low People into various objects around the hall before the Death Eaters all formed a shield around themselves while huddling together. Mordred then roared deeply, the sound of it so loud that it had everyone covering his or her ears.

"_Fulmenseries!_" he cried out as he shot black lightening from his wands at the shielded mass of Death Eaters.

The lightening forked in the air and cut through the shields, linking them all together in a state of screaming agony as electricity tore through them all. Mordred held on to the energy as the others watched him vent some horribly unknown rage on the Death Eaters, before a Dementor appeared in the air and attacked him. His concentration broken, he let go of the chained lightening, dropping the entire group of Death Eaters semi-consciously onto the ground as he shot at the Dementors that arrived and swarmed him while Little Doctors crawled up his legs and covered his back.

Meanwhile, Faith, Buffy and Spike were battling their way against the Grandfathers, when heard a roar in the other room and then noticed the Dementors flying through the air and heading into the Brain Room.

"Look out B!" said Faith as she pointed at the Dementors overhead, "here comes trouble!"

"Let's go find Dawn before these guys do," said Buffy as they followed the monsters while fighting the Grandfathers along the way. Even she had to admit being a bit worried about the vast numbers of opponents, and she let out this worry in true Summers fashion via quips and insults.

"Honey, being dead doesn't mean you have to stop caring what you look like." She said to one of the Grandfathers who came snarling at her before she blasted it with fire from her wand, turning it into ash.

"Next please! Whoa, haven't the evil undead ever heard of personal hygiene? Take a shower, it won't kill you!" Buffy then swung the axe in her other hand around, chopping off the head of the Grandfather that was attacking her. "How you doing, Spike?"

"Just peachy!" Came the reply, as Spike scrambled up, kicking a Grandfather away from him before decapitating it with his sword.

He then stabbed another Grandfather in the face before swinging it around and tossing it into a group of Grandfathers. This however allowed another Grandfather to grab at his weapon, and several Grandfathers piled on to him. Buffy and Faith went over to his rescue, being careful to not hit him with any spells they sent off to get the Grandfathers off of him. While they were freeing Spike a Grandfather came up behind Faith and managed to slash her across her stomach with its claws before Faith back elbowed it in the jaw, shattering its teeth before she decapitated it with her axe. She then looked at her wound, which was already healing due to her Slayer abilities.

"Ouch! Didn't your mother ever tell you not to hit a lady?" she asked before a Death Eater tried to hit her with a Stunner. She dodged out of the way, and then leaped over at him with a kick to the gut that broke his ribs and doubled him over. She then held her axe over her head before tapping his shoulder with it.

"Any last words?" she asked sarcastically as she raised the axe in the air.

"What are you?" he managed to wheeze.

"I thought we went over that; I'm a lady." She then decapitated him with one clean stroke while Spike snorted at her last comment.

"I hate to break it to yah luv," drawled Spike as he grabbed up the dead Death Eater's wand, "but you're _no_ lady!"

Faith looked offended for a moment before shrugging her shoulders and examining the new wound on her abdomen.

"Why do people always go for my stomach?" she asked rhetorically. "At this rate I'll never be able to wear a bikini!"

"Just keep moving," said Buffy as she continued to follow the Dementors, "I'm sure plenty of people will like what they see regardless of how many scars you have."

They then rushed into the Brain Room, where they found some of the DA members who weren't unconscious helping out the hurt ones, and they then went into the Death Chamber where they saw Harry holding up the prophecy while Mordred fought off the Dementors and Little Doctors that were surrounding him nearby the Veil, while Dawn was blasting at the Low People that kept trying to surround her. Curiously, O'Mego was way over on the other end of the Chamber standing behind the topmost bench, watching intently as the battle raged on. Buffy had no time to think about that as she waded her way towards Dawn, Levitating the Low People around her into the air and sending them into the benches, Death Eaters, and some even through the Veil as she got to Dawn. As she got to Dawn, she plunged her sword into one of the Low Person's stomachs and sliced upwards, splitting it in two. The Low Person fell to the floor and added his blood to the rest of the gore that was flowing all over the ground. She then immediately moved onto the next Low Person and lunged at it with her sword, but it dodged. She tried again, but once again the Low Person sidestepped the blow. She tried again, but her sword was knocked out of her hands by a spell from one of the Death Eaters, who then went back to attacking Harry. Dawn then hit the Low Person with a Body-Bind Curse, and then turned to Buffy.

"We have to protect Harry," panted Dawn to Buffy, "he can't be killed or have the prophecy taken from him!"

Buffy nodded and then stamped down on the neck of the Body-Bound Low Person, snapping its neck. Meanwhile, Mordred fought like a man possessed, which in a way he was, as he blasted off lightening and fire at any Dementors he saw, and even began hitting various Death Eaters and Low People with the Torture Curse, which would have horrified the others if they weren't already struggling for their lives. The Death Eaters who had suffered through Mordred's Chain Lightening and Cruciatus Curses all kept their distances, occasionally sending a spell at him that he blocked using his Shield Charm or one of the Low People he grabbed off the ground. He was covered in Little Doctors from head to toe now, hemmed in from all sides, and he was being pushed back towards the Veil inch by inch by spells and Dementors.

When Buffy tried to get to Harry, she had to dodge several Low People that were slicing at her with various weapons. Her own sword was laying a few yards away so she desperately tried to reach it while fighting back against the Low People. Faith clashed her axe against the swords of three Low People as they pushed as hard as they could to make her back down. Spike was taking on two Low People by hand, as he was in full Vamp-mode now. He sent one of them flying backwards with a kick to the chest and bit into the other's neck before giving it a quick twist, snapping it. He spat out some of the blood he had swallowed in disgust, before grabbing up a sword and stabbing the other Low Person who rushed him. He then went over and grabbed up Buffy's sword, and using both of them he mowed through several Low People before tossing Buffy back her sword while taking on some of the Low People that were surrounding her. The Death Eaters looked on in amazement as Buffy caught it without looking and beheaded three Low People with it all in one fluid motion. She then went over to Harry and dragged him off the dais; she then shielded his body with her own as the Death Eaters advanced. Several Death Eaters shot out Stunners, but they all bounced off of Buffy due to her Shield Spell and her natural Slayer-ness.

"Weren't expecting that to happen, where you?" asked Buffy before she started to walk towards them with her wand out and her body covering Harry's.

Most of the Death Eaters looked shocked that their Stunners had no effect on her, but Bellatrix quickly regained her composure and shot yet another Curse at Buffy which Buffy skilfully ducked as she jumped off the dais while tossing Harry out of the way.

"You are going to pay for what you're doing, Mud-Blood" said Bellatrix with a hiss, "no one stands against the Death Eaters and lives."

"Honestly, can't you think up any new insults?" asked Buffy sarcastically, "Mud-Blood's getting kinda old."

"Do you know who I am?" asked Bellatrix dangerously, her eyes glaring with rage.

"I'll tell you who you are," replied Buffy, "you're one of Volder-shorts many lapdogs that spend all day begging for his scraps. And if you think that is a reason for the whole world to kowtow at your feet, you're in a for real disappointment. "

"How dare you!" shrieked Bellatrix with rage, "how dare you insult the Dark Lord's name!"

"Mouldy Butt, Boulder Mort, Volde fart," Buffy said quickly just to annoy Bellatrix.

"He's THE DARK LORD -" began Bellatrix before she was cut off.

"Of the Sith?" asked Buffy daringly, "pur-lease. All the powerful pain-in-the-asses think they're Dark Lords when in reality they're just Lords of diddily and squat, and not what anyone needs."

"You got some imagination, Missy." Said Bellatrix with a glare that could almost wither stone.

"Oh well," replied Buffy nonchalantly, "right now I'm imagining you in jail. You're wearing a big orange suit, and," Buffy added, "oh look, the guards are beating you up. I'm sure another stint in the pokey will show you the error of your ways. I'll even bet yah there's some big old Bertha just waiting to shower your ripe little self with affection." This caused Bellatrix to go into a total rage.

"Why you filthy little bitch, you foul Mud-Blood! _Crucio!_" she screamed pointing her wand at Buffy, but she was so angry Buffy was able to doge it easily.

"You know Belly," asked Buffy casually, "while you normally look absolutely horrible, you look about a thousand times worse when you turn into a raving idiot."

"You have no idea what your in for," said Bellatrix threateningly as she advanced on Buffy, "when the Dark Lord finds out that he has been defied especially by a Mud-Blood, he'll come after you and when he does you will wish you were never born."

"Oh really?" asked Buffy humorously, "be sure to tell him I'm looking forward to it."

"For the last time Mud-Blood," warned Bellatrix, "you have no idea who you're dealing with."

"No, Bellatrix, _you're _the one who has no idea whom you're dealing with," replied Buffy coldly, all traces of humour gone from her voice. "You have no clue who I am and what I'm capable of so trust me when I say it's in your best interest to stay out of mine and my friend's way, both you, your friends" she gestured to the other Death Eaters who were watching, "and Colderpart. If you insist on picking a fight with me, then a fight is what you'll get, but just remember when you lose, I did warn you."

Bellatrix looked completely incensed that Buffy had gotten under her skin that she could hardly speak, but she was also intrigued by the power that was radiating off of Buffy.

"You know," Buffy, continued nonchalantly, "I have faced far scarier and evil people than you." Bellatrix studied Buffy for a moment before the blonde continued.

"And let me tell you," said Buffy, "taking you and your master out is going to be a piece of cake really."

"You know not of what you speak of girl," Bellatrix scoffed before trying to finish off Buffy quickly. "_Avada Kedavra_!"

Buffy dodged the deadly Curse and fired one of her own as the green light flashed past her.

"_Petrifius Totalus_!" she said before Bellatrix dodged, "_Stupefy_!"

"_Crucio_!" Bellatrix cried out, catching Buffy in the stomach with it.

The Curse hit Buffy, but the only thing to happen to Buffy was for her to roar in both pain, and unexpectedly, in anger. Bellatrix stared at her, shock written all over her face as Buffy dove at her, slamming a kick to her stomach. Bellatrix went soaring through the air and crashed into one of the walls nearby O'Mego (who then decided to make himself harder to find by fleeing for his life). This was the time the other Death Eaters remembered that they too had wands, but before they could use them, all Chaos broke loose.

High above them where O'Mego had hidden originally, two doors burst open as Sirius, Lupin, Moody, Tonks and Kingsley came sprinting into the room. The seven Death Eaters on the ground were completely distracted by the members of the Order, who were now raining spells down upon them as they jumped from step to step towards the sunken floor. Tonks was firing off spells at Rodolphus while Moody duelled with Dolohev, Kingsley was taking on both Rookwood and Avery, and Sirius and Lupin tag-teamed against a batch of Low People who were surrounding Mulciber. Other Low People were milling around, allowing a recovered Lucius and Macnair the chance to try and go after Harry, but Buffy and Faith interceded, attacking the two Death Eaters using Stunning spells that had almost hit them except for the Low People that got in the way. After Body-Binding Rodolphus, Tonks was blindsided by a Stunner from a recovered Bellatrix, while some of the Dementors that were swarming Mordred started attacking the Order members, allowing Dolohev to knock down Moody. The Death Eaters began using the Low People as meat shields while they cast spells at the Order members, allowing the Low People to take the brunt of the damage while wearing down the Order members.

Using the distraction the Dementors and Low People provided, Dolohev attacked Harry, firing off some Purple flame that Harry's Shield Charm _just_ deflected enough to only knock him down. Hermione and Ron went over and tried to drag Harry away, but Little Doctors swarmed over them. This gave Dolohev another opportunity to strike, as he made a slashing motion that sent purple flame at the three huddle DA members. Faith saw this happening and did the only thing she could think of; diving in front of them she took the brunt of the damage that the purple flame had and dropped to the ground. Dolohev stalked the Golden Trio as they blasted the Little Doctors, but as he was stepping over the fallen Faith she lashed out with one of her knives, catching him directly in the groin and neutering him on the spot. As he doubled over and dropped to his knees in pain, she drove her knife into his belly and ran it up to his neck, gutting him. As he slumped over into his own spilling guts, Faith coughed blood as she got shakily off the ground and had to lean on Harry and Hermione's shoulders as they tried to get out of the battle. Buffy came over to help, but they were soon all swarmed with the Dementors and Little Doctors that were circling and attacking Mordred. Lupin disposed of Mulciber with a Body-Bind Curse, Kingsley knocked out Avery with a Stunner while Dawn sniped Rookwood from the stairs with a Jelly-Brain Jinx that allowed Kingsley to capture him with a Body-Bind Curse. Buffy then guarded the Golden Trio's backs when Faith saw O'Mego advancing on an unsuspecting Dawn.

"Get down, Dawnie!" she said pointing her wand at O'Mego, "_Stupefy_!"

The beam of red light flew over Dawn's ducking head and hit O'Mego squarely in the chest, sending him crashing headfirst into the steps behind him. Dawn looked up and grinned at Faith before noticing Lucius trying to get behind her and the Golden Trio, not having a clear shot she called out to them.

"Behind you!" she cried pointing to Lucius, whom had his wand at Faith's throat. But before he could do anything, Buffy's sword punched through his back and out his stomach, pushing some of his guts through with the sword and causing him to spit up blood before Buffy pulled the sword back and dropped Lucius' corpse to the ground.

"Thanks for the save, B," said Faith grinning, but before they could say anything further they were ducking down to avoid the Dementors who came flying in and swarming a Little Doctor-covered Mordred.

They looked over at the mass of Dementors nearby the Veil as it got thicker and thicker. Lupin pointed his wand at it, but Harry stopped him.

"Mordred's there," he yelled, "and Patronuses hurt him. Wait until he's out of the way."

Lupin nodded and then took on Macnair in a duel that lasted only a moment as Harry Body-Bound Macnair from behind. They then moved back as Sirius and Bellatrix duelled against one another nearby the Veil while hordes of Low People gathered and attacked the other Phoenix members. Buffy and Dawn took on several Low People with Dawn sniping them with spells while Buffy went after them with her sword. Even still, it was almost a lost cause as the Low People outnumbered the Order members almost ten to one now as more were still coming from outside, but as Harry and his friends were looking for a way to escape they saw Albus Dumbledore standing framed against the doorway from the Brain Room, his face white with fury. He came pelting down the stairs with his wand out, using a nonverbal spell to knock down all the Low People who clutched their ears and squealed in pain. He then pointed his wand at the mass of Dementors nearby the Veil, not realizing that Mordred was underneath the mass of Dementors and Little Doctors.

"_Expecto Patronum_!" he cried out, sending a bright ray of light into the Dementors.

The shrieking of the Dementors flying away was only drowned out by the unexpected howl of pain that came from Mordred, as he was engulfed in the light. Mordred's shield sphere was radiating energy, as he looked like a giant ball of white light. While the others watched him crackle with energy, Bellatrix attacked Sirius, knocking him down close to where Mordred was standing.

"Time to finish this, dear cousin," she said as Dawn screamed from above in fear, "_Avada Kedavra_!"

A beam of green light shot from her wand, and it had almost hit Sirius before Mordred dove into the way, taking the beam into his shield. Mordred's shield blazed from white to green, as he toppled through the Veil while Sirius went flying through the air down the stairs. A loud bang was heard while a bright light flashed through the air as the Veil fluttered for a moment as though in a high wind and then fell back into place where it began to tremble slightly.

"Noooooo!" cried Dawn, who had seen Mordred go through the Veil.

Harry and Lupin looked over and saw Sirius's body lying on the ground, misinterpreting what Dawn was crying about. Lupin went over to Sirius's body while Harry slipped the prophecy into Lupin's pocket and followed a laughing Bellatrix through the Brain Room. Dawn followed them both into the Rotating Room, where she and Harry waited for the doors to stop rotating before asking it to let them into the entrance room. As they raced towards the lifts, Dawn fired off a shot at the door Bellatrix went through, causing the door to smash open allowing her to look up through it and fire off Blasting Charms that hit the bottom of Bellatrix's lift but didn't stop it. She and Harry took another lift and followed Beliatrix up.

Meanwhile, Buffy, Spike and Faith were helping Dumbledore gather up O'Mego, his Low People, and the remaining Death Eaters that were still downstairs while Lupin helped up a shaken (but still alive) Sirius. The Veil trembled a bit more but no one really noticed as Buffy and Faith didn't want to look at it; they had just lost a dear friend whom they only knew for less than a year, but had helped them out and become part of their extended family.

"There's nothing we can do for him," said Sirius as he patted Buffy and Faith on their shoulders, "he's gone."

"How can that be?" asked Buffy, "it's just a Veil, how can it kill a person?"

"That is the Veil between Life and Death," said Dumbledore as he came up to Buffy, "it is where the Mystery of Death is studied. Here is where the life meets death utterly, as no one living can pass back from the Veil."

He gestured and then frowned at the Veil, which was now not only fluttering but also emitting a deep, low rumbling sound. Buffy and Faith thought that this was normal behaviour for the Veil so they paid it no mind as they continued speaking together.

"At least Mordy always lived life to the fullest," said Faith, "he was always jumping around and doing and saying stuff no on else would have tried."

"Yeah, and I guess him only being alive for some months must mean his life wasn't much," shot Buffy, who then coloured red with guilt. "Sorry, - I didn't mean to say that."

The rumbling grew and wafts of smoke came out of the Veil as tears filled Buffy and Faith's eyes. The rest of the DA came down to help out the Order members in rounding up the Death Eaters and Low People. Dumbledore stood gazing at the Veil as they moved around him, a curious look on his face as he watched the Veil.

"I know you didn't mean that B," said Faith, "years ago and I'd be the one joking about his death. Goes to show that people can change after all."

The rumbling grew as more smoke poured out of the Veil, the room got colder and colder as they grabbed up the dropped wands and weapons of their enemies.

"Yeah, Dawn's gotten a lot stronger as well," said Buffy, "just seems like yesterday I had to defend her from everything, and now -"

"Where is Dawn?" asked Faith suddenly, causing Buffy to drop all the weapons she was carrying.

"Damnit!" swore Buffy, "if Dawn gets hurt after Mordred -" But she broke off as the rumbling sound grew from the Veil. They then noticed that it was now freezing cold and that they could see their breath in the air.

"What the frilly heck is that?" asked Faith as they and the others all stared at the Veil.

They all saw Dumbledore backing off slowly with his arms outstretched as if to warn the others back from the Veil as it burst into black flames that ate at the light around it. Black electricity surrounded the Veil as it both melted and froze into a puddle on the ground. Smoke poured out of the puddle, making it hard for the others to see before it shot through the roof, blasting into the sky above them. The Low People all screamed out and went to their knees, as even O'Mego dropped down on his face in fear. Indistinct shapes formed in the beam, as there was a pair of dark skeletal wings here, a giant spider's leg there, a scorpion's tail in another area, and a squid-like tentacle in another area, before melting back behind the beam. The black beam then shrank into the form of a bipedal creature that looked like a human shadow, dressed in what appeared to be black scaly suit of armour from foot to neck, leaving its white shaven head bare. Black fire and energy poured forth from its eye sockets as Mordred Flaggson grinned his terrible grin with solid white razor sharp teeth at his friends while several dropped Death Eater wands flew to his own extended wands.

"Follow me," he said in a deeper voice than they were used to hearing, "we have a Riddle to unfold."


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44: The Rape of the Riddle**

The lift carrying Dawn and Harry came to a stop as Bellatrix fired off a spell at them; they ducked as it hit the wrought-gold gates behind them with the sound of bells clanging in the air. A large earthquake happened while the sound of a very large explosion occured, throwing everyone off balance, but when it subsided they rushed out and went behind the Fountain of Magical Brethren while Bellatrix hid behind the other side of the statues.

"Come out, come out, little children," she called in a mock baby voice that echoed off the polished wooden floors as a rumbling sound came from beneath them, "what did you come after me for, avenging your friend or my dear cousin?"

Harry flung himself out from behind the fountain as Dawn slinked over the other side, trying to get at Bellatrix's back.

"_Crucio_!" Harry cried out, knocking Bellatrix off her feet with a scream, but before he could hit her again she got back up and was firing a counter-spell at him. He dodged behind the statues as she followed him around, forgetting about Dawn.

"Never used an Unforgivable Curse before, have you, boy?" she yelled, abandoning her baby voice now. "You need to _mean_ them Potter! You need to really want to cause pain - to _enjoy_ it - righteous anger won't hurt me for long." She said as Dawn came up behind her. The ground quaked underneath their feet again, causing them all to stumble, but Bellatrix was too caught up in her game to care.

"I'll show you how it is done, shall I? I'll give you a lesson -"

Dawn rounded on her and fired off her own spell at Bellatrix as the Death Eater was speaking.

"_Stupefy_!" yelled Dawn, nailing Bellatrix in the back with a bolt of red light. Bellatrix dropped to the ground, and Harry and Dawn went to her and kicked her wand away.

A soft clapping was heard as Harry gripped his forehead in pain, dropping to his knees. Turning around, Dawn got her first glimpse of Voldemort in the flesh, as he stood in the middle of the hall with his wand in one of the clapping hands. He was dressed in a black robe with a hood over his head, his terrible snakelike face gaunt and white like a skull, his smile showing rotting sharp teeth and his slitted red eyes staring at them both in amusement. His slitted nostrils pulsed as he breathed, each breath a small hiss through the air.

"So, you've managed to take down my Death Eaters with the help of your friends?" said Voldemort softly, "but you both know you cannot beat me, even combined together you don't stand a chance." He then pointed his wand with his left hand and held out his right hand with its palm open.

"So, you're Voldemort?" asked Dawn cheekily. Voldemort nodded his head in her direction. "I thought you'd be taller. And is that a dress you're wearing? Never knew you were a cross dresser."

He then shot her a nasty look before she continued.

"You know, you're pretty dumb for a so-called evil genius, Tommy-boy." Dawn said, refusing to let him hear the tremor in her voice. He glared at her and snarled before looking at Harry.

"Give me the prophecy, Potter, or she -" he said in a high cold voice before blinking. "Oh, you think you're so _smart_. Giving it to Lupin, only prolonging the inevitable." He then dropped his right hand and raised his wand.

"Goodbye, Potter," he said quietly before bringing the wand down, "_Avada Kedavra_!"

Dawn shoved Harry out of the way, but the golden statue of the Wizard in the fountain sprang alive, jumping between Voldemort and his prey. The Killing Curse glanced off its chest as it flung out its arms to protect Harry and Dawn. Before Voldemort could react, another voice rang out from the shadows around them.

"_Vestitus Evanesco_!" called out a voice, causing the robes of Voldemort to go flying off his body and leaving him standing naked for all to see.

"What -?" cried Voldemort staring around before letting out a breath, "Dumbledore. And friends. Would you be so willing to let them die for you Dumbledore?"

When Dawn and Harry both looked up towards the golden gates, they saw Dumbledore standing there with Buffy and Faith on either side of him. Both Slayers went in opposite directions away from Dumbledore as he came forwards. Voldemort raised his wand and a jet of green light streaked at Dumbledore, who had Vanished in a whirling of his cloak before he was hit. Right after the spell hit the cage uselessly, he had reappeared behind Voldemort and waved his wand towards the rest of the statues in the fountain. They sprang to life as the Goblin and the House-Elf statues scuttled to either side of Voldemort while the Centaur galloped at Voldemort, who Vanished and reappeared beside the pool. The Wizard and Witch statues thrust both Harry and Dawn backwards away from the fight, as Dumbledore advanced on Voldemort and the Centaur cantered around them both.

"It was a foolish thing to come here tonight, Tom," said Dumbledore calmly, "the Aurors are on their way -"

"By which time I shall be gone," interrupted Voldemort, "and you will be dead!"

He sent another Killing Curse at Dumbledore but missed, instead hitting the security desk, which burst into flame. The Goblin and Elf statues then stabbed Voldemort's legs, forcing him to destroy them with a quick spell.

"You sure can't hit squat, can you Tommy?" asked Buffy as she called from the shadows around him.

As Voldemort tried to hit the jumping Slayer with the Killing Curse, Dumbledore flicked his own wand out quickly. The force of the spell that emanated from it was such that the people in the room all felt their hair stand on end as it passed towards Voldemort. This time Voldemort was forced to Conjure a shining silver shield out of the air to deflect it, causing the shield to clang like a gong when the spell hit it. He backed away looking from side to side at where he thought the Slayers were before focusing back on Dumbledore.

"You do not seek to kill me, Dumbledore?" called out Voldemort, his scarlet eyes narrowed over the top of his shield. "Above such brutality, are you?"

"We both know there are other ways of destroying a person, Tom," Dumbledore said evenly as he continued to walk towards Voldemort as though he had not a fear in the world, "I admit, merely taking your life would not satisfy me -"

"There's nothing worse than death, Dumbledore!" snarled Voldemort.

"I'd have to disagree with you, Tommy-boy," called Faith, "if you had a regular nose you'd be able to smell yourself and agree that there _are_ in fact things worse than death."

"Indeed," said Dumbledore with a slight grin as he closed in upon Voldemort, speaking as lightly as though they were discussing the matter over drinks, "your failure to understand that there are things much worse than death has always been your greatest weakness -"

A jet of green light flew from behind the silver shield at Faith, but she dove away before it even touched her. As she leapt through the air she threw one of her knives at Voldemort, almost hitting him in the eye before he quickly deflected it with his shield.

"Missed me, Tommy-boy!" called Faith as she ran through the shadows, "you should get some glasses; at least Harry and D here can hit things with their wands."

"You will pay for your insolence." Voldemort hissed from behind his shield.

"Oooh, check out the _bad_-ass!" Dawn taunted, just managing to keep her voice steady as the Witch statue blocked her from helping out.

Another jet of green light flew from Voldemort, this time at Dumbledore, but the Centaur charged in front of Dumbledore before the spell hit. It shot its arrow at Voldemort, sending it uselessly flying over Voldemort's head as the statue shattered into a hundred pieces. But instead of falling to the floor, the fragments of the statue flew up and swarmed Voldemort, temporarily obscuring his vision as Dumbledore drew back his wand and waved it as though brandishing a whip. A long thin flame flew from the tip; it wrapped itself around Voldemort like a rope, catching both him and his shield in its grasp. The arrow that the Centaur fired off came back around and impaled itself into Voldemort's' back, causing him to cry out in pain and rage. For a moment it seemed Voldemort was caught, but then the fiery rope became a serpent, which relinquished its hold on Voldemort at once and turned, hissing furiously, to face Dumbledore. Voldemort then Vanished as the snake reared from the floor, ready to strike Dumbledore. Before it struck there was a burst of flame in midair above Dumbledore just as Voldemort reappeared, standing on the plith in the middle of the pool, his arm raised to deliver a spell at Dumbledore as the fire snake rose above the aged Wizard's head. But suddenly Voldemort screamed in surprise, as the plith opened up underneath him and sucked him down to his waist, trapping him. Voldemort struggled and cried out in pain as the fire snake changed directions, instead of attacking Dumbledore it went over Voldemort's head and tried to bite him, snapping at Voldemort's shield as Mordred stepped out of the shadows.

"Little Piddle Riddle stood in a pond, all aglow with power," sang Mordred as the fire snake bit into Voldemort's shield. "Little Piddle Riddle is now stuck in a trap, as his fortunes all go sour. Sing a song for us, Riddle-man!"

Voldemort screamed in rage, blasting the fire snake with a green jet of light. It exploded, covering Voldemort with fire as the Slayers, Mordred and Dumbledore advanced on him. His shield took the brunt of the flames, but Voldemort was still burnt badly as Dumbledore used his wand to make the water rise up and encase Voldemort in an icy prison. Voldemort blasted the ice with a Reductor Curse, causing it to shatter into pieces, but Mordred waved one of his wands and lifted the pieces up into the air, sending them cutting into Voldemort's body as he used his shield to block his face and chest from the assault. Buffy looked back at Dawn, who was with Harry behind the statues of Witch and Wizard.

"Go get the others," said Buffy, "if we all hit him with spells at the same time, we can beat him!"

Dawn nodded and dragged Harry off with her, heading to the lifts to get the other DA and Phoenix members to help out. Meanwhile, Faith had begun raining down spells on Voldemort, trying to disarm him while Mordred Conjured some flying skulls in the air above him.

"_Expelliarmus_!" cried out Faith as she sent her spell at Voldemort's wand.

"_Reducto_!" said Buffy at the same time, aiming at Voldemort's shield.

The two spells hit Voldemort a the same time, causing the shield to ring like a gong and his hand to loosen slightly on his wand, but he held it more firmly as he sent off some counter Curses at them. Mordred pointed his wand at Voldemort, causing the skulls he had animated to burst into flames and attack him as Mordred then went over to where Bellatrix lay. Dumbledore then put the Witch and Wizard statues into play, as they no longer had to guard Harry or Dawn, they advanced upon Voldemort as he shot down the fiery skulls that flew and bit at him from above. The golden statues went to either side of Voldemort, blocking his attacks against the Slayers as they fired spells at him. Voldemort fired a jet of green light at Mordred, who blocked it using shimmering black form that dove in front of him from nowhere. It then dove at Voldemort, covering him as Dumbledore turned to Mordred.

"Using Dark creatures such as Dementors and Lethifolds may seem useful," said Dumbledore in a cautious voice, "but they more often than not tend to turn on the user when they please. Where is Bellatrix?"

Mordred's reply was cut off as Voldemort Vanished the Lethifold and sent a silver light blasting over Dumbledore's head, turning, Dumbledore saw that one of the skulls Mordred had conjured had gotten through Voldemort's defences and was biting his wand arm at the elbow. Several others were chomping away at Voldemort's shield arm, as they were biting into his right shoulder, elbow, and one even had a grip on his hand, biting over his entire hand into the wrist. Mordred then gave one of his wands a snap in the air as if whipping something, and the skulls all exploded into huge gouts of flame and tearing open huge chunks from Voldemort. Faith and Buffy both then targeted Voldemort's shield, using Blasting Curses on it to knock it out of Voldemort's bleeding arm. Dumbledore used a spell to yank it away as Voldemort fought the flames that were consuming him, Mordred pointed his other wand at Voldemort as Voldemort was about to extinguish the flames.

"_Conglacio Accendo_!" he said, causing the fire to turn into ice around Voldemort. Voldemort froze for a moment, as the ice went into his skin through the cuts on his body, then with a supreme amount of effort he burst through the ice using a heating spell.

"_Expelliarmus_!" cried both Faith and Buffy, trying to wrest Voldemort's wand away from him. Mordred used the opportunity to use on of his Darker spells of Voldemort, in spite of Dumbledore's presence.

"_Sectumsempra_!" he cried as he lashed both wands furiously at Voldemort, causing cuts to appear all over Voldemort's body. Voldemort screamed in pain, but then laughed suddenly as he looked at a stricken Dumbledore.

"You _hypocrite_!" he cried, "your students seem to be learning the same type of Dark Magic I would have had them learn. Is this what their Headmaster is teaching them now?"

Voldemort then tried Healing himself, as Mordred continued to swish his wands widely in the air causing more cuts to appear on Voldemort. The form of Bellatrix appeared off to the side of Voldemort, as he continued to Heal his wounds from the cuts Mordred gave him. She had a blank look on her face when she pointed her wand at Voldemort's back.

"_Crucio_!" she cried, pointing her wand at her Master.

The surprise of it got through his shield, and he jolted in pain as she held the Curse on him. He turned painfully and fired a green blast at her, killing her instantly as Mordred and now Faith continued using the Cutting Spell on him. Mordred then stopped swinging one of his wands and made the motions for a Body-Bind Curse in the air with it.

"_Putresco_ _Totalis_!" he said, flicking his wand in Voldemort's direction.

The cuts on Voldemort's body began to rot, as grey pus bubbled from his eye sockets, mouth and nostrils. It took almost all of his power to try and Heal his injuries, leaving him almost defenceless as Faith and Buffy pressed the attack.

"_Interstringo!_" cried out Buffy, pointing her wand at Voldemort's neck. His neck squeezed inwards as he gasped for air, foaming grey pus from his mouth.

"_Exuo Cutis_!" yelled Faith from behind Voldemort as she swished her wand downwards, tearing off a strip of skin from the top of his neck all the way down to his waist. He howled in pain as he looked behind him at his attacker, but before he could send a spell at her he was hit with another spell from Mordred.

"_Viscera depello_!" he said with a jab of his wand before yanking it back as if pulling on a rope.

Voldemort's stomach opened up from the force of the Entrail-Expelling Curse, and only the quick wand work that he employed right then and there kept his guts from shooting across the room. As it was, his intestines fell on the plith in front of him and began sliding into the water like large brown worms as the water around him began to take shapes. Dumbledore Conjured several Water Golems from the water, having each one attack Voldemort. Voldemort destroyed them away using a spell that dried them up, but then Mordred hit him again with some Darker Magic.

"_Desudocorpus_!" he called out, pointing a wand at him and slashing it downwards.

Immediately Voldemort began sweating and bleeding profusely, as the Dehydration Hex took hold of him. He then abandoned trying to Heal himself for the time being, and began firing off jets of green light at his attackers. The two Slayers and Mordred Conjured Illusions and Mirror Images of themselves to trick Voldemort, but this only made him begin to fire every which way, as they all dove behind the statues and pillars in the Atrium for shelter.

"_Pugnus Ferreus_!" called out Buffy as she fired over her head while diving behind a pillar, causing a massive Iron Fist to appear over Voldemort before dropping down with a clang on his head.

Buffy looked around the pillar as Voldemort sent the Iron Fist flying through the air, his screams of rage echoing throughout the hall. Mordred took to Reanimating Bellatrix's corpse while Animating the various statues and suits of armour that were located along the corridors, sending them in to distract Voldemort as he battled Dumbledore. Voldemort blasted most of them away easily, even destroying Bellatrix's body with a Blasting Curse that caused her body to explode into a gory mess of blood, guts and bone, but this allowed Dumbledore to attack the trapped Dark Wizard with Stunning Spells and Confundus Charms. Mordred, Faith and Buffy regrouped as the two high Wizards battled it out, before Mordred climbed up one of the pillars from his hiding spot until he was above Voldemort's head. He then Conjured some poison mist in the air around Voldemort's head before encasing the Dark Wizard's head in a Bubble-Head Charm, allowing Dumbledore to then wrap another fire-rope around Voldemort. This time, Voldemort was only just able to break free, using his wand to disintegrate the rope and destroy the Bubble before firing off another Curse.

"_Avada Kedavra_!" he cried in rage as he fired off green jets of light at Dumbledore, "_Avada Kedavra_! _Avada Keda_-"

He was cut off as a small object that flew through the air went into his mouth, causing him to choke on it. Looking back to where the object had come from, the four fighters saw Dawn holding a slingshot as Harry and the other DA members stood behind walking statues Animated by the Order members who had come to fight. Voldemort's eyes widened in rage and fear as he raised his wand back, but before he could utter a spell he began sprouting boils all over his body where there was still skin. His face contorted in pain as his tongue swelled up inside his mouth. Streams of vomit oozed came from the sides of his tongue as Dawn pointed her wand at Voldemort's head alongside Harry and Ginny, and the three of them fired off spells at him.

"_Langlock_!" cried out Dawn as Ginny hit Voldemort with a Tongue-tying Hex and Harry hit him with a spell that caused horns to sprout on Voldemort's tongue.

The three spells had the effect of causing Voldemort's now swollen tongue to grow horns and twist around and wrap itself over his head, effectively blinding and smothering him. Voldemort pointed his wand at his own tongue and blasted it off of his head, splattering it all over his head in a black gooey mess and leaving horns sticking all over him from his nose to the back of his neck. Hermione then hit him with a Confundus Charm, but it didn't have as much effect as it should have, while Neville hit him with a Conjunctivitis Curse that made Voldemort's eyes water slightly.

"_Caeco_!" called out Buffy, making Voldemort's eyes go completely white with blindness before they slowly cleared back into red.

Ginny took this time to hit him with her Bat-Bogey Hex, causing small red blobs to dribble out of Voldemort's slit nostrils, grow wings and attack his face. He floundered around as Faith pointed her wand at his head while Buffy did the same.

"_Acersonus_!" Faith cried, causing Voldemort to clutch his head in pain with his hands while dropping his shield spell.

"_Densaugeo_!" Buffy said at the same time, making Voldemort's upper teeth grow out and drop down to his waist.

Dawn then hit them with a Blasting Curse that shattered them into pieces, while Mordred floated them in the air to go after Voldemort's eyes. The Order members then began raining Disarming spells on Voldemort, with Sirius and Lupin yelling "_Expelliarmus_" while Moody and Tonks yelled "_Accio_ wand". Try as they might though, they couldn't get Voldemort's wand off of him as he clutched it too tightly with both of his hands. One by one, more DA and Order members took turns trying to either disarm Voldemort or keep him from Healing using spells that they knew. Hermione jabbed her wand at Voldemort's head when she saw the chance to.

"_Silencio_", she said, before dodging off from whatever counter Curse he tried to fling at her.

Buffy silently walked behind Voldemort as he blocked the attacks from the others, waiting for the right moment to strike. When she saw it she rushed forwards while waving her wand.

"_Petrificus Totalus_!" she said, but he deflected most of it as he had turned around when she got to him. His arms stiffened, but not enough and he pointed his wand at her. But before he could do anything, Mordred interfered with a spell of his own.

"_Castro Genitalus_!" he called out, causing Voldemort to arch his back and scream soundlessly in pain.

Dawn took this time to Conjure some small snakes that attacked Voldemort, sinking their teeth into his body as he tossed about in agony. He then put up a Magical green shield around himself, deflecting the DA and Order members' spells as he tried to free himself.

"_Protego Ruina!_" cried out the Triumvirate and Buffy, causing Voldemort's shield to collapse in on him and shock him with its energy.

They held on to it as Voldemort tried to hold up his shield against the repeated attacks from the four students. They broke off and regrouped behind some Animated statues Conjured by Dumbledore, as the Order members tried to get the four students to get behind them away from Voldemort. Spike got to the group, and he, the Slayers and Mordred made some quick battle plans while Dumbledore used statues to deflect Voldemort's attacks.

Mordred pointed his wand at Voldemort, while Faith and Buffy went to either side of the trapped Dark Wizard while Spike went behind him. Mordred went behind one of the statues, put his arm over its shoulder, and fired off his spell at Voldemort.

"_Expecto Praestigiae_!" he called out, causing a black shape to rush at Voldemort.

Voldemort howled in fear, dropping his shield completely, he began firing off spells at the Boggart that Mordred had made. It had taken the form of a powerless Riddle, who was on the verge of death, causing Voldemort to lose all concentration on almost everything else as he attacked it. This gave Spike the opportunity to jump on Voldemort's back and bite deep into the right side of his neck, sucking the blood out of Voldemort's jugular. Voldemort reared back and pointed his wand at Spike's head with his left hand, but before he could hit Spike with a spell Buffy and Faith came at him from either side with flying kicks that hit him in the ribs. Buffy's kick shattered the ribs and punctured the lungs on Voldemort's right side while Faith's kick shattered his left side, as the two kicks connected together in the middle as Voldemort vomited up gouts of blood while Spike twisted his head and tore out part of Voldemort's throat, causing a massive spray of black blood to go arching into the air like a fountain. Faith then pointed her wand at Voldemort's arm at the shoulder before yelling a spell out loud.

"_Bracchium Emendo_!" she yelled, confusing the other people not in on their plan.

They all realized what she did when they noticed that Voldemort's left arm went limp, as there were no bones in it anymore. His wand dropped into Faith's hand as she and Buffy then both took turns kicking and punching Voldemort in the head and torso, breaking more bones, while Spike retrieved Bellatrix's wand. Voldemort used a wandless spell that threw them off, but he was still at a major disadvantage as he now not only didn't have a wand, but he also only had use of one arm.

"Not so tough without your wand, eh Mouldy-butt?" called Faith, who then tossed Voldemort's wand to Dumbledore before turning to the others. "Ok everybody; free shots on the Dark Lord! Last one to hit him with a spell of some kind has to buy everyone else a drink!"

Voldemort then put up a faltering red Shield spell that blocked most of the red beams that came from the group, his right arm raised above his head as he slowly Healed his throat from the injuries Spike caused it before trying to Heal his left arm. That Healing was stopped as a suit of armour that Mordred had Animated earlier brought its War-Hammer down on Voldemort's left shoulder, tearing through the entire left side and chopping off his arm before ending at his waist. Black blood poured from Voldemort's side, while his other cuts festered and his Shield spell dissipated. The others all advanced on him cautiously before the bolder ones struck first. Harry sent off a Stunner at Voldemort, while Ginny hit him with another Bat-Bogey Hex. Hermione hit him with a Body-Bind Curse that locked Voldemort's remaining arm into place, while Ron grinningly zapped him with a Slug-Vomiting Charm that caused Voldemort's mouth to begin leaking out slugs while the Bat-Bogeys attacked his face. Neville hit Voldemort with a Jelly-Brain Jinx, while Luna used an Insect Jinx that caused feelers to sprout on Voldemort's head. Sirius then hit him with a Furnunculus Curse that caused boils to break out all over Voldemort, which he and Lupin took turns popping with zaps from their wands. Spike used Bellatrix's wand to hit Voldemort with a Stunner, which Moody, Tonks and Shacklebolt added to with their own Stunners. Dawn blasted him with some chain lightening that went all throughout him, while Faith and Buffy each took turns blasting him with fire and ice spells that burned and froze Voldemort's torso, causing the intestines and left arm that were lying in front of him to melt and then shatter into pieces. He had stopped fighting against them, only looking at Harry with hate-filled eyes. Suddenly, Harry cried out in pain and dropped to the floor, causing the others to stop and look at him before turning back to Voldemort.

"Stop!" cried out Dumbledore, as he went to Harry.

As he bent down, Voldemort's wand flew out of his pocket, racing towards Voldemort. Mordred fired off a spell that hit the wand, causing it to flip over as it flew in the air so that it plunged tip-first into Voldemort's right eye and popping it like a red grape while black ooze squirted from its socket. Voldemort shrieked in sheer pain, causing the others to clutch their ears as it climbed in pitch. Then, suddenly, Voldemort was gone; leaving only the plith that he was stuck in covered in blood. The others looked at it in wonder as Mordred cussed a blue streak for letting Voldemort get away before the Atrium suddenly filled up with Aurors who were led by none other than the Minister of Magic himself, Cornelius Fudge.


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45: The Eventual Explanations for Everyone**

The DA and the Order members all stared at the rush of Aurors as they entered into the Atrium as green flames burst along the wall as more and more Aurors came in. Fudge came in ahead of the Aurors, as one of them cried out in surprise.

"He was here!" shouted Auror Williamson as he swung his ponytail out of his face, "I saw him, Mr. Fudge, I swear it was You-Know-Who! He was here."

"I know," gibbered Fudge as he glanced around the room, "I saw him too!" He then saw Dumbledore and the others who were all standing there. He walked over with his Aurors towards Sirius, Buffy and Faith, glaring excitedly at them.

"Is that them?" Fudge asked, but he didn't wait for a reply. He nodded his Auror guards' forward.

"By the order of the Ministry of Magic," he said while the guards each moved to surround Buffy, Faith and Sirius, "you three are under arrest."

"You can't arrest them!" said Dawn in a shocked voice, "on what charge are they being arrested for?" She then looked at Dumbledore for help.

"Professor Dumbledore! Can't you do something about this?" She begged, but before he could reply Fudge interrupted.

"I've been told a most interesting story about these two and what was happening tonight." Fudge said, looking around the carnage in the Department of Mysteries. "I was told by anonymous sources that there are two Vampire Slayers in our midst's as well as a convicted felon. Now at one time the Ministry may not have believed this, but there has been evidence to support the Legend of the Slayer for a while now so we accept the truth. This is why we cannot allow such dangerous monsters to be left in the open, especially as they seem so willing to use violence."

"If they're so dangerous," Dawn pointed out, "then you won't be able to hold them."

The Minister's only reply was a nod to the Aurors surrounding the Slayers, who then shot Stunners at Buffy and Faith. The girls both dodged and struck out, knocking out several of the Aurors. They would have attacked Fudge also, but Dumbledore intervened.

"STOP!" He yelled, as he gathered himself at full height and towered over the others with his power, bringing them all to a standstill. "What the younger Miss Summers' is trying to say is that these young ladies fought to defend our world, not to destroy it. And, as Headmaster of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, I exercise my right to keep these students on the premises until they can find homes of their own."

"Albus, you can't mean that," Fudge sputtered, "they are dangerous; are you willing to risk the lives of all the students?" Dumbledore nodded before answering.

"I would risk my own life if need be for _any_ and _all_ of my students." Dumbledore said boldly. "They've fought bravely today, standing firm with their fellow classmates. They deserve our admiration, not condemnation. Besides, with Voldemort in power again I daresay we'll need all the help we can get."

Dumbledore then directed the Aurors to round up the remaining Death Eaters and Low People that were all in the Department of Mysteries while Mordred went to where Voldemort had been trapped not five minutes ago. Dawn joined him on the plith as he poked his wand in it.

"Too bad Mouldy-shorts got away," said Dawn shaking her head, "we almost had him, too!"

Mordred didn't respond, he just waved his wand and opened up the plith which revealing the bloody lower half of Voldemort twitching. Mordred Levitated it into the air for the others to see, as he turned and grinned at Dawn.

"Not _all_ of him got away," he said with a wicked grin, "we got a piece of him, and that's what I wanted anyways."

The others looked on quizzically as he used a wand to extract Voldemort's thighbone from one of the legs that were attached to the floating half of Voldemort that was left behind. Mordred then motioned to one of the Aurors, who came shakily over to him.

"Bring me one of the Death Eaters," he ordered the Auror sternly, "and get your Aurors ready for another Death Eater to appear. It's time for old friends to meet up again." The Auror then went with the others, while Dumbledore approached Mordred with the rest of the DA in tow.

"How did you know to place a spell on that plith for Voldemort?" he asked silently to Mordred, who cringed under Dumbledore's gaze before shrugging his shoulders and giving an exaggerated sigh.

"We'll tell you when we get back to the Castle, ok?" said Mordred as the Triumvirate and Buffy moved around him and looked back at the others. Further questions were cut off as one of the Aurors brought up Nott, whose body had been crushed by the shelves while his mind was driven insane by touching the prophecies that had fallen on him. Mordred brought up the bone of Voldemort in his hand and went to the gibbering shattered Nott.

"Yes, this will do," he said, "ok, form a line over here and get your wands ready. I'm going to be calling forth one Death Eater, but others may come as well so be ready for it."

Before the others could protest, Mordred poked Voldemort's wand into the Dark Mark tattoo on Nott's arm, causing it to glow blackly in the light while Nott and the other Death Eaters that were still conscious all screamed in agony. A popping sound came as Peter Pettigrew Apparated in front of them, followed by the sounds of the Aurors all blasting him with several Stunners.

"There's the man who betrayed the Potters to Riddle," said Mordred as Sirius and Lupin each grabbed Peter's arms, "you can now stop accusing Sirius of -"

But before Mordred could finish, he was hit with several Stunners from the Aurors as well, breaking the bone in half while knocking him back. If it weren't for his Shield, he would have been knocked out.

"Stop!" said Dumbledore to the Aurors, "Mordred is as much under my care as the Slayers are, and for the same reasons."

The Aurors all backed off as Mordred got off the ground, spitting black ichors from his mouth and weeping ebony tears. The other DA members rushed to him as he called out for PaniChaos, who appeared in a burst of flame.

"Heal the others who need healing," he gasped to PaniChaos as he was helped up by Dawn and Faith, "and then got get Taltos and come to me."

PaniChaos went to the various injured Order and DA members, dropping tears on their cuts and bruises before Vanishing. Dumbledore used several chunks of gold from the shattered statues to form Portkeys back to Hogwarts for the rest of the DA, who each found themselves back in the Headmaster's office, causing the portraits to come awake in surprise. The mingled voices of surprise turned into applause as Dumbledore came through the fireplace via Floo powder, going to his desk as the students all sat gathered around him.

"I would wish to speak with Harry and Dawn alone now," said Dumbledore, "though I can't really stop Buffy from staying, nor Faith or Mordred for that matter. I think it's only fair that Harry be allowed to choose three people to stay with him since Dawn has three with her."

Both Hermione and Ron stood up to Harry's sides, looking at the others. Harry pointed at Ginny, and she came forwards while the others left the room while PaniChaos came with a cup of his own tears and Taltos' venom for Mordred to drink. The eight students all crowded around Dumbledore's desk as he sat wearily down on his chair.

"It is time," Dumbledore said as the students looked on, "for me to tell you what I should have told you five years ago, Harry. Although I should be telling only you this, Dawn here," he nodded at Dawn, "has an uncanny knack for knowing things others do not, so there's no point in her leaving as after I'm done telling you everything, I'm sure that Dawn and her friends have some things to say as well. I ask only a little patience."

Dumbledore then Conjured up some chairs for the students to sit in. He then turned to stare at Harry, saying nothing at first, merely looking at Harry. He then began speaking as Harry looked back at the others.

"Five years ago, then," said Dumbledore, "Harry arrived at Hogwarts, neither as happy nor as well-nourished as I would have liked, perhaps, yet alive and healthy. He was not a pampered little prince, but as normal a boy as I could have hoped under the circumstances. He was raised by a family who was family in blood only, but not in heart. You may ask 'why was it a Muggle family who got to take Harry in? Why not a Wizarding family?' Before I answer I'd like one of you students to try guessing the answer."

The others looked around, but Dawn raised her hand.

"Because it's Blood Magic," said Dawn, "passed from Harry's mom to him when she died for him."

"Yes, that is correct Miss Summers," said Dumbledore, "Lily's sacrifice gave Harry a lingering protection that Voldemort never expected, a protection that flows in your veins to this day." Dumbledore said to Harry as the others looked on.

"I put my trust, therefore, in your mother's blood," he said, "I delivered you to her sister, her only remaining relative -"

"She doesn't love me," interrupted Harry at once, "She doesn't give a damn -"

"But she took you in," Dumbledore cut across him, "she may have taken you grudgingly, furiously, unwillingly, bitterly, yet still she took you in nonetheless. In doing so, she sealed the Charm I placed upon you, as your mother's sacrifice made the bond of blood the strongest shield I could give you. While you can still call the place where your mother's blood dwells your home, you cannot be touched or harmed by Voldemort there. He shed her blood, but it lives on in you and her sister, making her blood into your refuge. You need return to your home only once a year, but as long as you can still call it home, Voldemort cannot hurt you there. Your aunt knows this as I explained what I had done in the letter I left with you on her doorstep. She knows that allowing you in her home has been what kept you alive for the past fifteen years."

Harry shifted uncomfortably as the others looked on. Dumbledore continued after a sip of water from his glass.

"My plan was almost perfect, except for one little fatal flaw that almost ended up undoing it all," said Dumbledore, "can you guess what it is?"

Again, Dawn raised her hand as the others silently looked on at her. She stood up from her seat when Dumbledore nodded at her.

"Well, on Harry's First Year, he fought against Voldemort and won, and he then asked you why Voldemort had tried to kill Harry when he was a baby. You didn't tell him then, because he was too young in your eyes. As the years passed on you kept on saying 'he's too young, he's too young' to yourself until last year when Voldemort came back again. You put it off the same way some of us students put off studying and homework, only to be surprised by the fact that the exam is tomorrow. Your flaw was procrastination, plain and simple." Dawn paused before adding.

"Oh, and you care too much about Harry as well," said Dawn nonchalantly before sitting down, "you wanted him to be happy."

"That is, in a nutshell, exactly what the flaw was," said Dumbledore simply. "Procrastination and I cared about you too much. I cared more for your happiness than your knowing the truth, more for your peace of mind than my plan, more for your life than the lives that might be lost if the plan failed. In other words, I acted exactly as Voldemort expects we fools who love to act." He then looked at the students around him before continuing.

"I have broken both the Second and Third of Laws of Magic, but I ask you: Is there a defence?" he asked in almost a challenging voice, "I defy anyone who has watched you as I have — and I have watched you more closely than you can have imagined — not to want to save you more pain than you had already suffered. What did I care if numbers of nameless and faceless people and creatures were slaughtered in the vague future, if in the here and now you were alive, and well, and happy? I never dreamed that I would have such a person on my hands even in my wildest fantasies, as you not only stood up to every challenge you faced, but you did it with such a way that you made me prouder of you than I can say."

Ron clapped Harry on the back as he blushed at the high compliment while the others looked at him admiringly. Dumbledore then sighed after the commotion ended, and directly into Harry's eyes.

"And now I must tell you what I have been dreading for the last five years, even though I should have told you sooner," said Dumbledore, "Voldemort tried to kill you when you were a child because of a prophecy made shortly before your birth." The others shifted uncomfortably in spite of the cushioned chairs they were sitting in.

"He knew the prophecy had been made, though he did not know its full contents," said Dumbledore, "so he set out to kill you when you were still a baby, believing he was fulfilling the terms of the prophecy. Instead he discovered, to his cost, that he was mistaken, when the Curse intended to kill you backfired. And so since his return to his body, and particularly since your extraordinary escape from him last year, he has been determined to hear that prophecy in its entirety. This is the weapon he has been seeking so assiduously since his return: the knowledge of how to destroy you." Dumbledore said as he took the prophecy out of his pockets and placing it before them.

He then pointed his wand at the prophecy, causing it to emit two forms into the air. One was of Dumbledore himself; the other was of Professor Trelawney. They were speaking, but when Sybill Trelawney spoke, it was not in her usual ethereal, mystic voice, but in the hard, hoarse tones Harry had heard her use once before:

"_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches . . . born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies . . . and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not… and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives . . . the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies . . ._"

The others stared at it as it vanished back into the prophecy, and then they looked back at Dumbledore.

"So," began Hermione, "it meant that the person who was to defeat Voldemort for good would be a boy who was born at the end of July to parents who had defied Voldemort three times."

"Exactly," said Dumbledore softly, "but the odd thing is that it may not have meant Harry at all. Sybill's prophecy could have applied to either one of two Wizard boys, one being you, and the other being –" Dumbledore paused as Dawn breathed out the answer by accident.

"Neville Longbottom," she said in a whisper that everyone heard before going red with surprise. They looked at her in shock as she tried to find her voice. "Umm, lucky guess?"

"I think not," said Dumbledore as he stared at her intently, "you really do know more than others do, you and your friends. In a moment I shall have you tell your story, but before then let me draw attention to the fact that Voldemort chose the boy he thought most likely to be a danger to him. And notice this; he chose, not the Pureblood (which according to his creed is the only kind of Wizard worth being or knowing), but the half-blood like himself. He saw himself in Harry before he had ever seen Harry. In marking you with that scar, he did not kill you as he intended, but gave you powers, and a future, which have fitted you to escape him not once, but four times so far, which is something that neither your parents, nor Neville's parents, _ever_ achieved."

"Then why didn't Voldemort wait and see who looked more dangerous?" asked Harry.

"The prophecy was made in the Hog's Head Inn," replied Dumbledore, "where it is a place that is never safe for one to assume that you are never being overheard, as you learned a few months ago. Our one stroke of good fortune was that the eavesdropper was detected partway through the prophecy and thrown out of the building before it was finished. Due to faulty information, Voldemort attacked you when he should have waited and learned more, as he didn't know that you have 'power that the Dark Lord knows not'-"

"But I don't!" said Harry in a strangled voice, but he was interrupted by Dawn.

"Yes you do," she said, "you have the power to _love_. That's your power."

Before Harry could retort, Dumbledore interrupted them.

"She is again, correct," he said in a light voice. "There is a room in the Department of Mysteries that is kept locked at all times. It contains a force that is at once more wonderful and more terrible than death, than human intelligence, than forces of nature. It is also, perhaps, the most mysterious of the many subjects for study that reside there. It is the power held within that room that you possess in such quantities and which Voldemort has not at all. That power saved you from possession by Voldemort, because he could not bear to reside in a body so full of the force he detests. In the end, it mattered not that you could not close your mind. It was your heart that saved you."

Harry closed his eyes and then asked about the one question that was burning him up.

"The end of the prophecy" he said slowly, "it was something about . . . 'neither one can live . . . '"

"' . . . while the other survives,'" finished Dumbledore.

"So," said Harry as he dredged up the words, "so does that mean that . . . that one of us has got to kill the other one . . . in the end?"

"Yes," replied Dumbledore after which the silence filled the room for what felt like a long time. Dumbledore then looked over at Dawn, and Dumbledore motioned Dawn towards him.

"I do believe that now it's _your_ turn for the spotlight," he said with a grin. Dawn gulped as the others now stared at her.

"Voldemort has chosen to align himself with some new creatures that want to kind a 'Key' of power," said Dumbledore as the others looked on. "They believe that this Key will help them unlock passageway into other world's for them to conquer and or destroy. This Key has been around for all eternity, and it has lived in different worlds other than Hogwarts. It is now decided to call our world home, as it is now here with us." Dumbledore's face was grave as he spoke.

"I remember them," said Hermione, "when the Death Eater's asked for the prophecy, those creatures -"

"Low People," said Mordred, "also known as Can-toi. The rat faced guys."

"They kept asking us to 'give them the Key, and they'd go away.'" Said Hermione. "They didn't even care about the prophecy or any of the Death Eaters, they set those monsters on the Death Eaters as fast as they set them on us."

"These creatures must never find the Key," Dumbledore warned the students, "as for them to do so would be extremely dangerous to all things involved."

The others thought a moment before Harry spoke up.

"How do we get the Key?" Harry asked, causing Dawn to look at Buffy, Faith and Mordred. When they nodded she looked back at Dumbledore, who was smiling slightly in a friendly manner, and at Harry who was looking inquisitively between the two of them.

"_I'm_ the Key." Dawn spoke quietly, but everyone heard. Buffy moved to sit by her sister's side and threw an arm round her shoulders protectively.

"How?" Harry asked dully.

"Several years ago, these monks decided to mould the Key into human form and send it to the Slayer so that she would protect it," said Dawn slowly, "they invented me out of her and then created memories for everyone so that people would think that I was really Buffy's sister."

"You're not really sisters?" Ron asked suddenly before getting an elbow from Hermione.

"Yes we _are_," Buffy said defensively as she glared around daring anyone to contradict her, "we are by blood and it feels like we're sister so we are." Buffy then continued when she saw no objections.

"Several years ago when I was Patrolling one night, I came upon a monk from the Order of Dagon." Buffy said. "He was dying and told me to protect the Key from something called the Beast. At the same time, Dawn had been living with us ever since our parents divorced." Buffy looked at Dawn and saw the pain in her eyes; Buffy squeezed her hand and continued.

"The Beast that the monk was referring too was an evil Hell Goddess called Glorificus, who wanted to use the Key to get back to the Hell dimension she was exiled from, no matter what the cost. It was not until a few months later that we discovered that the Order of Dagon had put the Key into human form and sent it to its protector in the form of a sister. I was the one who turned out to be the protector, as they had taken my DNA and created Dawn out of the Key."

The others looked on in wonder at Dawn, as Buffy continued.

"Long story short: Glory found Dawn, opened up a portal with her, and I had to jump through it and kill myself in order to close it," she said in a rush. "Afterwards, my friends brought me back from the dead, and we've been fighting evil for the last few years. A few years ago, something called the First Evil decided to try wiping out the Slayer Line, so we fought back using Willow the Wiccan's Magic along with something called the Slayer's Scythe. When Willow used her Magic on it, it activated all the Slayers in our world, allowing us to beat the First Evil. Then about a year after that, with the help of some other friends, we destroyed an evil law firm that was trying to bring on the Apocalypse. During this, Dawn got captured and cut up, opening up a portal that dumped Spike, Dawn, Faith and I into your world while some of these monsters followed us. The rest you already know."

The others then looked at Mordred, as he was still in his bizarre looking uniform and bleeding black tears from his eyes.

"I don't remember anything before coming here," he said shrugging, "not even after going into the Veil. I could tell you things about Goblin rebellions or laws passed by Councils now long dead, but I can't even remember what I was doing a year ago. Sorry."

"Perhaps this might help in understanding your past," replied Dumbledore, as a trussed up O'Mego was brought into Dumbledore's office.

The bird-headed man looked at the floor as he was brought in, not looking at anyone until he was brought in front of Mordred. There, O'Mego opened his beak as if to speak, but instead just began clapping it open and closed over and over.

"Impossible," he said while staring at Mordred, his beak clapping with every breath he took. "Just - impossible."

"What's so impossible?" asked Harry, as the others looked from Mordred to O'Mego and back again. But O'Mego ignored Harry's question, as he stared at Mordred and clapped his beak. The trussed-up creature kept on clacking his beak until Mordred growled at him.

"Stop that," Mordred demanded, "it's annoying."

O'Mego stopped in mid-clap, his beak hanging half-open as if in awe. He then stared at Mordred as if Mordred was the only being in the room with him, when Dumbledore waved his hand in front of O'Mego's face, the birdman's eyes didn't even blink. Dumbledore turned to Mordred and the others a spoke very quietly.

"I had a small hunch that this character knows something about you," said Dumbledore, "as you seem to know more about him and his underlings than anyone else does."

"What do you mean by that?" asked Mordred, "I hardly know this Taheen."

"You know that he's a Taheen," replied Dumbledore, "and that the others are called Can-Toi, yet no one else knows that. How did you know?"

Mordred sat and pondered the question, before turning to O'Mego with a smile on his face.

"Who are you?" he asked O'Mego, as the birdman's beak closed back down.

"I am Binli O'Mego," he said, "of the Taheen race. I am the head explorer in this part of the Beam on behalf of the God Tash and the Sombra Corporation. I am here to fulfil my contract and religious duties in extracting the Key in order to bring it to the Devar-Toi, which is to be re-opened with it." O'Mego stopped talking and bent forward, with an expression on his face that passed for happiness if ever a bird could express it facially.

"Now that _you're_ here," said O'Mego in an excited voice, "we don't need the Key at all anymore. You can just come with us and finish off what your Maker started on behalf of the Crimson King."

"What did my 'Maker' start," asked Mordred, "and who is the Crimson King? Is he Tash?"

"No, he's not Tash," said O'Mego chuckling, "although he is a God of sorts. Let me tell you what my history is so that you can understand your place in things, ok?"

"Sounds fair," replied Mordred as he sat back, "whenever you are ready."

"In the Beginning there was Discordia," said O'Mego, getting the others to look pointedly at Mordred as he had mentioned it before. O'Mego continued uninterupted. "It was a Chaos-filled Void where there was Everything and Nothing, All-Time and No-Time, all at once. Then came the Dark Tower; a point that rose from the depths of Discordia like a mountain from the foamy sea. It spread Beams all over, creating and linking together worlds that grew out of the Chaos that they had previously been a part of. These Beams spread further and further into the Darkness, creating Order out of Anarchy." O'Mego paused before continuing, as the others looked on with rapt attention.

"There were Six Beams in total," he explained, "each one intersecting with the Tower like the spokes of a wheel with the Tower at the center. These Beams are the primary sources of force in All-World and they maintain order. The failure of any of the Beams can cause changes in physical and astronomical constants, which causes Chaos in both nature and in civilization. On each end of the Beam there was a Guardian; if one wanted to get to the Tower they had to pass that Beam's Guardian before they could get there. The Old Ones before us used both Magic and Technology in order to create the Guardians and the doors from World to World, starting out with using Magic only and then using technology to help enhance it. The Guardians were the perfect marriage of Magic and Machinery; they were Cyborgs gifted with souls of their own so that they were the ones who decided who could pass through the Portals at the end of each Beam and who could not. The Twelve Guardians were based off of twelve animals: Eagle and Lion, Hare and Bat, Fish and Rat, Turtle and Bear, Dog and Horse, and Elephant and Wolf, each one a Giant Cyborg made to defend the Portals. They made their homes next to the Portals, and they watched over them with sleepless determination."

"What happened to them?" Asked Mordred as O'Mego cracked his neck, still restrained by Dumbledore's Magic. O'Mego ignored his physical discomfort and continued, his beak clacking after each sentence.

"The Old Ones tried to start fazing Magic out in favour of technology," he said to the shock of the Mages in the room, "as technology appeared to be easier to use than Magic was. In theory, one must have Magic in order to use Magic to light up a room, using the right phrases, objects and powers in order to do so. Whereas with technology, all one has to do is turn on a switch, and light is there for anyone who wants it. Magic mixed with technology made things easier, so the Old Ones believed that by switching over to technology completely they would have a chance to literally control Reality from the seats of whatever thrones they had made for themselves." O'Mego then burst out laughing as the others digested what he told them, looks of fear mingling with disbelief on their faces.

"That's where my old master, the Crimson King, took control," said O'Mego triumphantly, "he used the technology left to him by others before him to gain access to other worlds. From his Castle near the borderlands of the area surrounding the Dark Tower, he managed to create Wars among the Old Ones using both Magical means as well as technology to create plagues that wiped out entire species, chemicals that mutated and drove the inhabitants of areas insane and set them to killing each other, or Doomsday Weapons that could flash-fry entire worlds in a millisecond. He used his various followers to ensure these things happened, but none of them stood even close to his closest advisor, his Prime Minister of sorts." O'Mego moved closer to Mordred as he continued to ignore the others in the room.

"Your Maker, Randall Flagg," said O'Mego, "was his chief emissary in trying to take down the Dark Tower. Because of Flagg, millions of worlds were destroyed as Beams fell before the might of the Crimson King and his armies. If it wasn't for the Gunslingers, we'd have been victorious." The others looked on, countless questions on their minds as Mordred thought of what to ask.

"Who was Randall Flagg?" asked Mordred, "and how did he create me?"

"Who knows who Flagg was originally," replied O'Mego, "some say he was a human being who was taken in under the Crimson King's tutelage and turned into a very powerful Wizard. Others say he was a Demon that came from Outside of the Multiverse, that he crawled from the crack that was located under the Castle connecting to the Outside and offered the King his services. Another theory was that Flagg was the King's Shadow, made into human form and put to work. I doubt that theory, as there are conflicting rumours on how he died. Trust him to name his benefactor after the thing that killed him though."

"I was named after the thing that killed Flagg?" asked Mordred confusedly.

"Yes," replied O'Mego, "your given name is the same as the name of Flagg's killer: Mordred Deschain, the son of two fathers and two mothers. He was the scion of both the Crimson King himself and his greatest enemy, Roland Deschain of Gilead: The Gunslinger and Champion of the Tower."

"How was he killed?" asked Mordred curiously, his eyes unreadable but his face full of wonder. O'Mego shrugged his shoulders before answering.

"Don't know myself," O'Mego said, "I didn't believe he was truly dead until I saw you in action. Most likely he was eaten when Mordred changed forms. He was a Were-Spider, like his father the Crimson King before him. I'm rightly curious to see if _you've_ gained that power as well, since Flagg went through all the trouble of creating you the way he did."

Ron gulped and turned green at the mention of a Were-Spider, and he looked at Mordred in fear that the strange boy would suddenly change right then and there into one.

"How _did_ he create me?" asked Mordred, getting a laugh from O'Mego.

"As if I knew how!" said O'Mego exasperatedly, "from what little I heard of it Flagg took a little from every world he visited, collecting various trinkets that caught his fancy. I think that he stole the blood of many different creatures in order to create a perfect host for himself in case his body was ever destroyed. That host was supposed to be you, but instead he died at Mordred's hands most likely. Then after Mordred was shot by Roland and Roland climbed the Tower, you came into being, completely unaware that _you're_ supposed to herald the End of all things and the return of Discordia."

"You said that several Beams fell," interjected Mordred, "how many are left and what happened after Roland climbed the Tower?"

"There was two Beams left before Roland's Ka-tet defeated our teams located at the Devar-Toi," said O'Mego, "and when Roland went into the Tower several Beams that were broken fixed themselves up. That's how the Slayers and Mages could be linked together; one of the fallen Beams fixed itself so that the two worlds could be easier to link together now. From one world to the other is the way to the Dark Tower, but no one knows which way. Roland himself is stuck in a loop now; he's perpetually looking for the Tower, fighting for the Tower, saving the Tower, climbing the Tower and then being relocated by the Tower. It's worse case scenario for Immortality; he's just about immortal, but only because the Tower won't _let_ him die." O'Mego spat on the ground in frustration.

"We've tried _everything_," said O'Mego irritatedly, "but the man won't die. You're our best hope in quickly knocking over the Tower; otherwise we're just stuck to kidnapping Beam-Breakers and feeding them the essences of kids with powers from various worlds. Any time we get to almost knocking over the Tower, that Gunslinger and his Ka-tet keep on interfering, and our best defences have been robots called Wolves that break down when they're needed the most, useless Can-Toi who flee the second they shouldn't, and other assorted cannon fodder that fall to the Gunslinger's weapons like ripe wheat to a farmer's scythe." O'Mego paused to collect his breath, during which the others looked among themselves while thinking over what O'Mego had revealed to them.

"What does your Crimson King have to say about all your failures?" asked Mordred. O'Mego looked up quickly as if he'd been slapped across the face hard.

"He can't _say_ anything now," said O'Mego, "last I heard of him he was nothing more than a pair of floating red eyes stuck on the Tower for all Eternity. An embarrassing end for one who wanted to break the Tower; instead now he gets to watch as others try the same thing."

"Who's taken over now that he's gone?" asked Mordred as the others looked on curiously. O'Mego looked up in the air as he tried to remember.

"Well, there's my God Tash," said O'Mego, "he wants to destroy the Tower because it'll also destroy Narnia as well. Then there's his friend the Alabaster Queen Jadis, who also wants Narnia destroyed. There's the Alabaster King, who thinks he can rule the Tower once the others are all dead. Also, there's the other Hell-God Tak, who's the God of the Lost and rules with Tash, plus a captured Glorificus, who was once kicked out by my God Tash and the God of the Lost, Tak for becoming too power-hungry." O'Mego then burst out laughing at a memory.

"She was raped of most of her powers and sent to the mortal world, bound by a mortal man to spend her remaining days losing her powers before she would be returned via death to the Hell she came from as a slave for the Hell-Gods to use. So far she's just been used for various carnal pleasures, but sooner or later she'll be allowed out of her cage while she's on a tight leash."

The others looked on in disgust at this news, while Buffy and Dawn shared a horrified glance with one another.

"She's going to be very pissed when she's sent against us again," whispered Dawn to Buffy, "since she's not in control anymore. What are we going to do?" Buffy could only hold Dawn's hand and smile in reassurance as Mordred continued questioning O'Mego about more details.

"How did you get here?" asked Mordred, "and where did you and others come through? Can more come through these areas?"

"We got here using one of the many 'doors' that the Sombra Corporation opened for us," replied O'Mego, "I can't tell you where these doors are, as they keep moving. As long as Sombra has control of the door-making machines, we'll be able to keep on sending more and more troops. It'd be easier on everyone if you just came with us to the Devar-Toi, otherwise a lot of useless fighting will be done for no good reason. The end is all the same."

"How powerful is this Sombra Corporation?" asked Mordred as the others digested this uncomfortable bit of news, "and why would anyone want to work for a company that wants to end all of Reality?"

"It is very powerful," replied O'Mego, "mainly because it is linked via the doors to other Universes. Through these doors we've merged with different companies, governments, religions, and other like-minded groups that all want the power that we can give them. Through these, we can get money, resources, minions, and other valuable things like testing grounds for various weapons. Some of the people who work for us don't know that we're here to end all of Reality, but ones such as my fellow Taheen and other faithful members all realize that we're just returning the Multiverse back to what it was originally. It's no different than any religious belief that says the faithful will go up into clouds surrounded by Angels with harps, virgins, or any other nonsense like that. The end will come, and we'll all float together in the Deadlights."

"If I were to go back with you," asked Mordred slowly, "how would we get back?"

"Using the small key in my pocket of course," replied O'Mego cheerfully, "it's in the shape of a black diamond with a red tip."

Mordred reached into O'Mego's pocket and pulled out a pitch-black diamond with a red tip that looked like it was made out of plastic. Mordred looked it over as O'Mego continued to speak.

"Just find an area outside of Hogwarts," said O'Mego, "and place it in the air as if inserting a key into a lock. Then you can twist the key and say one of three things; you can say 'take me to O'Mego's home', which will get you to where I operate at in between realities, and also where the rest of my own gang is hidden awaiting for orders. You can say 'make me a place of my own', which will create a House of your own so that you can hide in if you need to. Or you can go to the train station and ask for the End-World Mono to come and pick you up; it will take you directly to the Devar-Toi so that you can get right to work on breaking the Beams. In my humble opinion, that's the quickest way to go, although if you want to spread out a bit you are free to use my place as it has a door-maker in it. I personally would love it if I came back with both the Key and the Child of Flagg himself, _that'd_ really make the others green with envy."

O'Mego stopped talking and looked at Mordred proudly as the others stared at him. Mordred looked over at Dumbledore as an idea came over him. He looked back at O'Mego before voicing his idea to Dumbledore.

"How isolated is your place?" Mordred asked slyly, as his grin widened on his face. "If there was something to happen there would it affect anywhere else?"

"Not really," replied O'Mego, "you could set off a nuclear bomb in my place and it would only destroy it, and parts of any places our doors are open to. Because of my lack of power, we've only been able to open doors to here from it, with your power we'd be able to open doors to just about anywhere along this Beam. All we need is a plague and you could devastate millions of worlds just as the Beam is connecting them. It'd be the funniest thing ever; the Beam meant to connect and save these worlds is used to destroy them instead. You'd really be doing your Maker proud with that."

"What does this door-maker look like?" asked Mordred as the others glared at him in suspicion, "and where is it in your House?" O'Mego clapped his beak before answering.

"It's right there when you open the door to my place," said O'Mego happily, "I can have it brought to you if you like; it looks like a book. It has all the names of the places you can make doors to, and the way to operate it is to just draw a door with some chalk and name it after one of the names in the book. But I should warn you; the time zones of the places you go to are random. So if you say 'make a door to Xenaverse' for example, you may find yourself in the same world that had Xena in it, but it may be thousands of years after she died. Or it may be before the show started, who knows how it'll work for you? Also, the name of the place you want to make a door to has to be linked to the Beam we're on now, so unfortunately we can't just say 'take us to the Vampire Lestat's world' as his world is on a different Beam, so we can't just use his type of Vampires to wipe out those damned Slayers. Very unfortunate, but we make do with what we have." O'Mego then sat back in his chair as Mordred went away from him, motioning the others into a huddle with him before explaining his idea.

"Ok, here's what we should do," explained Mordred, "we get the door-maker out of O'Mego's home, and close both of the doors behind us when we leave. Before we leave, we set up a nuclear bomb in it to wipe out all the monsters that O'Mego has in his command there, assuming the nuclear bombs here are as deadly as they are in other worlds."

"They are," interjected Dumbledore, "very deadly and very frightening machines that we Wizards keep watch over in case any of the Muggle governments decide to try and use them. Then we just make the bombs they want to use 'disappear' or just not work. I know where I can get some of these hideous devices."

"Good, we'll be able to take out O'Mego's home base and his army there," said Mordred, "we might also consider putting him in there as well, as I don't think that he has much more information on him. He has a lot, I'll admit, but he's too dangerous to be kept around."

"We'll be able to keep him around," interceded Dumbledore, "we have many places where he can be put to keep him out of trouble." Dumbledore then shifted in his seat uncomfortably and looked at Mordred.

"If you plan on using the door-maker, do not use it in Hogwarts," he asked calmly. "We already have more than enough breaches as it is."

"I see your point," replied Mordred, "I'll be making a home of our own for Buffy, Spike, Dawn, Faith and I to live during the summer. I'll use the door-maker to create a door back to Buffy's world so that their friends can come through. I'm sure an army of Slayers would come in useful in fighting against the Death Eaters and their new partners in crime, wouldn't you agree?"

"Yeah," replied Buffy, "and I can't wait to see Willow and Xander's reactions to us being younger again. Giles will definitely flip out over it."

"Then it is settled," said Dumbledore, "Mordred, you get the door-maker from O'Mego's home while I put O'Mego into a safe place before I retrieve one of the Muggle atomic bombs. Then we place the bomb into O'Mego's home and close the door after you take out the door-maker. You can then create a home that is not on Hogwarts grounds; somewhere that can be accessible to the King's Cross Station in London without being too suspicious to the Muggles. What do you plan on putting in this House you're going to create?"

"Bit of this and that," replied Mordred, "things I've nicked from Hogwarts, Hogsmeade, and the Zabini Household. It'll be a great place to put the rest of the treasure that we have over from -" Mordred's eyes then went wide and he rushed back to O'Mego, who had not noticed Mordred being gone.

"Does the Sombra Corporation have a bank account of any sorts," asked Mordred suddenly with a look of pure avarice on his face, "for its employees and shareholders?"

"Your Maker does have an account," replied O'Mego, "but only he knew how to get into it. Rumour has it that it was an entire planet made of stolen loot gathered by Flagg and others, but that could be just rumour. Still, to think that a Treasure Planet with spell books, gold, jewels, and other things just laying around for you, does make one itchy to look for it."

"Ok, thanks," replied Mordred, "you'll be going with Dumbledore here while I go find an area to open up to your home at. Then we'll just wait and play it by ear. I'll call for you, but you have to be patient for me."

"Yes my Lord," replied O'Mego, who stood up and walked out the door with Dumbledore while the others trailed behind. When Dumbledore went off in one direction Mordred went to the Castle entrance while the others followed him, asking questions.

"Where do you plan on making a home at?" asked Ron as they went out the door.

"What other worlds do you plan on opening up to?" asked Dawn as Mordred and the others mounted on their brooms and vaulted into the air. Mordred span around before answering any of their questions, bobbing up and down in the air while holding on to the black diamond.

"I think only the Slayers and I can go outside of Hogwarts grounds right now," said Mordred, "as we can claim it's for Patrolling reasons. Too many people coming with us will raise suspicions, and I'm sure Dumbledore would want the use of a nuclear weapon being kept very top secret. I'll answer your questions when we get back."

Faith, Buffy and Mordred then flew off, leaving the others to head back to their tables in the Great Hall. Mordred flew in silence as Buffy and Faith flew to either side of him, trailing slightly behind him as he flew over the Forbidden Forest. He flew to one of the mountainsides where they had once knocked off a group of Cyclops's, and came to a landing just on the edge. They then waited in silence until Dumbledore Apparated next to them with a large nuclear device bound in a Magical bubble beside him. He was holding onto Fawkes's tail feathers as if to the string of balloons.

"We must move swiftly Mordred," said Dumbledore, "as we don't have much time before this device is relocated again."

Mordred nodded and then held out the diamond key over the cliff's edge and twisted it in the air, opening not so much a door but a warp in the air. It led into a room where there were four Can-Toi guards stationed to either side of a pedestal where a book the colour of roses sat. Mordred used his wand to Summon the book to him while Dumbledore sent the now active bomb crashing into the surprised Can-Toi that were scrambling after the book. Mordred closed the warp by pointing the key back at the warp and twisting it in the opposite direction. He then took both of his wands and latched the tips of the handles onto the key, causing it to glow darkly before it disappeared into the wands. He retracted the wands back into his wrists, hissing slightly as they entered into his arms.

"Ouch, that looked like it hurt more than usual Mordy," commented Faith as she saw Mordred wince and rub his wrists.

He then pulled out his Book of Unfound spells and held it next to the Door-maker book. As he held the two books together the Door-maker book seemed to leak out words into the air that went into Mordred's book, causing the black book to glow with a red tinge. After it was done both books returned to normal, and Mordred used his shadow to recreate his robes so that he could have pockets to put both of them into. They then went back on their brooms as Dumbledore Apparated with Fawkes back to Hogwarts, and they flew back to the Castle, where they had found the IS members whom had been trapped released by Dumbledore back into their dorms, but since Mordred's powers had grown they didn't try their hands at revenge just yet.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46: The Dome at the End of the Universe**

The Daily Prophet the next day explained on how there had been a huge mistake, and that Lord Voldemort had indeed returned to the Wizarding World. It also explained on how he had allied himself with the Dementors and Low People, and that many other beings of Dark Power were coming to join him against the Wizarding World. But it also gave some hope as it mentioned the fact that the Slayers, a previously extinct race, had come to 'join the Ministry in its battle against Voldemort's army.'

"Funny how they forget to mention that they were the ones who wiped out the Slayer's," said Hermione as they read the paper in a green and silver laden Great Hall during breakfast. She sat between Buffy and Ginny, while Harry sat across from them next to Ron while they listened to Hermione read the paper to them.

"It's also funny that when they mention Harry being slandered against," added Buffy, "they don't mention the fact that it was them doing all the ridiculing and slandering in the Prophet."

"At least the message is out," said Harry, "and its being read by more than just Quibbler readers. Whatever happened between the Quibbler's lawsuit against the Prophet, anyways?"

"The Prophet made some very public apologies and fired most of the people who wrote the derogatory things about the Lovegood's," replied Ginny with a grin, "they also paid a lot of money to the Quibbler, and now have to cite the Quibbler as a reference whenever they mention anything about Harry, Voldemort, or Dumbledore since the Quibbler was the first ones to print the truth. Very fitting if you ask me," said Ginny in an aside, "that a newspaper that was once seen as being rubbish is now the source for everyone's information."

"Luna's dad is taking her on a trip to Sweden," said Buffy, "to try and catch a Crumple-Horned Snorkack. Dawn was trying to convince her to tell her dad to buy out the Daily Prophet, but she said her dad wanted a fair field for all newspapers, as only one newspaper would end up having only one type of story. She kept on saying 'there's no freedom without a free press' or something like that."

"How is Mordred dealing with this," asked Harry suddenly, "I'm pretty disturbed by the fact that I have to kill or be killed by Voldemort, but to be the symbol for the end of everything -?"

"Mordy's pretty much wigged out," replied Buffy, "he went directly into the Slytherin males dorm and wouldn't come out again. Draco and the others won't talk to Faith and Dawn about it, but according to Zabini, he's been meditating over his bed the entire time. They can't get close to him because he's still shooting off sparks of electricity from his body."

The others looked over at the Slytherin table, where they saw Dawn and Faith together around the House Cup, but no Mordred. Draco's IS members kept their distance from the Triumvirate, except for Zabini and a few others who were chatting animatedly with them while taking pictures of themselves with the Cup, despite Draco's constant scowling and glaring at them.

"Looks like the Slytherins are under new management," said Buffy, "for the student section, at least. I don't know how Snape has taken to the Triumvirate's support of Harry, or any of the other Slytherins for that matter, even though they did set a new record in House points for everyone especially themselves."

"Yeah, over four fifths of the Slytherins are with the Triumvirate," commented Ginny, "while only a few are with Malfoy and his gang. It will be very interesting to see how this all plays out in the end."

"A friendlier Slytherin House?" asked Hermione in mock indignation, "one headed by _Muggleborns_ of all people? Perish the thought."

The others laughed while Dawn and Faith talked with their fellow Housemates, talking about what had happened. After breakfast was over, Buffy waited in the halls before going over to where Faith and Dawn were walking. Harry followed her, and they found Mordred walking through the hallway looking over the other students who were milling about.

"Hey Mordy," Buffy called to him, "don't be a stranger, come hang with us. It's not the end of the world yet."

She chuckled at her own joke as Mordred followed behind the four of them, his weird eyes causing many passing students to gasp and change course when they ran into him. They went to the main Notice board, where they found Luna Lovegood pinning up a list of stuff on it.

"Hi there," said Luna dreamily as she pinned the last note on the board, "how are you doing?"

"We're all right," replied Harry while looking confusedly at the signs Luna had put up, "what are those for?"

Luna took her time in turning around as passing students who tried to get to Harry only ran off when they saw Mordred standing behind him, causing the hooded boy to chuckle at them all as they ran. She looked back at Harry with a peaceful look on her face.

"Well, I've lost most of my possessions," said Luna serenely, "people take them and hide them, you know. But as it's almost time to go home, I really do need them back, so I've been putting up signs."

She gestured towards the notice board, upon which she had pinned a list of all her missing books and clothes with a plea for their return. Dawn looked at Faith, Buffy, and Harry, noticing that they looked like they too felt sorry for Luna's predicament. She didn't notice that Mordred had gone very still, nor that his eyes had started sparking black electricity out of them until he walked up to Luna and spoke to her in a forced neutral tone.

"How c-come people . . .," he started before calming himself down and clearing his throat, "how come they steal your st-stuff?"

"Oh . . . well . . ." she said with a shrug, "I think they think I'm a bit odd, you know. Some people call me 'Loony' Lovegood, actually."

"That's no reason for them to take your things," Harry said flatly as Mordred grimaced, "d'you want help finding them?"

"Oh, no," she said, smiling at him. "They'll come back, they always do in the end. It was just that I wanted to pack tonight."

"I could easily get them back for you," said Mordred blackly, "just give the word and I'll go about the entire school as is. I'm sure I can scare everyone into not only giving you back your stuff, I can even make them pay you for taking it in the first place as well. A horrible monster like me -"

"You're not horrible," said Luna serenely, "you're rather beautiful, actually."

"I – _what_?" asked a thunderstruck Mordred, his mouth hung open in complete astonishment by what she said.

"You're beautiful," repeated Luna, "you are like a piece of midnight cut from the sky and turned into handsome young man."

Mordred stared at her in pure shock and wonder as Harry then asked her about who she saw die in order for her to see Thestrals. She said it was her mom, who liked to experiment and was killed in an accident that Luna saw herself when she was nine years old. She made mention about seeing her mom again eventually after death before heading off. Mordred stared gapingly after her long after she had left, his mouth opening and closing very much like O'Mego's had, causing both Dawn and Faith to giggle loudly behind their hands.

"Stare much, Mordy?" asked Faith, looking to egg Mordred on.

Mordred growled something under his breath in Parselmouth that caused Harry and Dawn to both gasp before he went bounding off towards the Ravenclaw Tower at top speed, bouncing along the walls and ceiling as he went.

"Uh-oh," said Dawn, "the crap's gonna hit the fan when he gets to where he's going."

"What'd he say?" asked Buffy.

"You _don't_ want to know," replied Harry, as there was the sound of a loud roar and a scream along with a portrait being ripped from the wall where the Ravenclaw Tower was located.

More screams and crashes were heard before Mordred was heard barking orders at the Ravenclaws. That night, from what the others heard, Luna found her belongings piled onto her bed with a note of apology from everyone who had taken them from her.

On the Sunday morning before the journey home, the time while students got on the Hogwarts Express was eventful in several ways. Draco and his two goons had confronted the Golden Trio, and they were having a stare down in front of the train, as there were no teachers around to see what was happening. But before anyone could strike, Mordred appeared behind Draco and tapped him on the shoulder.

"What do you w-?" asked Draco before Mordred grabbed him by the shoulders and chomped into his face.

Draco screamed in agony as a loud crunch was heard and Mordred pulled away, leaving Draco clutching at his blood-drenched face as his goons helped drag him away while he wailed in pain. Mordred then grabbed up Hermione's hand and spat Draco's chewed–up nose into it, smiling while licking the rest of Draco's blood off his face as she looked at the gored nose in horror.

"A souvenir to remind you of the _wonderful_ year we've had," said Mordred smiling, his teeth covered in gore. Hermione looked ill and threw away the remains of the nose as the others looked on in disgust.

"It's too bad we couldn't have that Professors vs. students match in Quidditch," said Mordred as he licked his lips clean, "we would have had one last hurrah before the summer, and we'd of kicked their asses as well."

"Of course we'd have beaten them," said Ron as Dawn and the two Slayers came over, "they only have about two or three really good players on their team, whereas we have a lot more people to choose from."

"Where are you guys planning on making your home?" asked Hermione casually after wiping her hands of Draco's blood, "and what will your Owling address be?"

"We're thinking somewhere between Hermione's place," said Dawn, "and Ron's. That way we could possibly drop in for a visit from time to time."

"How would we visit you," asked Harry, "if your House is between worlds?"

"We'll think up of something," replied Faith, "voice codes or something that recognizes you so that you can come visit. Relax Hairball; we won't forget you. Oh, speaking of unforgettable, check this out!"

Faith then pulled the robe back from her right wrist while Dawn did the same for her left wrist and Mordred showed both of his wrists. On them all was a tattoo of a multicoloured snake swallowing its tail, with numbers one through twelve on it in the form of a clock. As the others watched, they noticed that the head of the snake was at the hour hand while there was a pair of wings flapping slowly where the minute hand would have been. In the middle of the circle was the hour of the day in military format, reading zero nine hundred hours.

"You got a tattoo!" cried out Buffy angrily, "who gave it to you and why didn't you ask me first?" Mordred and Faith both raised their hands and grinned before Dawn spoke up.

"I'm old enough for a tattoo Buffy," she said, "and we even have nicknames. Watch this."

All three Triumvirate members tapped their fingers on their hands, causing the numbers in the center to disappear. They were replaced by titles that showed up brightly on their hands.

"I'm the Parselmouth Princess," said Dawn as she showed off her nickname, "Faith is Slytherin's Slayer, and Mordred is the ShadoWizard, since he's all about the Shadows and such."

"Those are pretty dorky nicknames," asked Buffy with a wry look on her face while they covered up their tattoos as they walked to the train, "how do you expect anyone to take you seriously?"

"You could be the Sunnydale Slayer," supplied Faith, "since you were the last one to touch it before it died."

"But it was Spike who actually destroyed Sunnydale," countered Buffy as they all boarded the train, "and I don't like the idea of getting a tattoo of it either, even if it is able to Magically disappear."

Before they could counter, the Gryffindor and Slytherin students were separated into their House sections on the train. Buffy went with Harry and Ginny while Hermione and Ron went around performing their Prefect duties by keeping the younger Gryffindors in check. The Triumvirate went into the Slytherin section where they found a whole lot of their fellow Housemates waiting for them, pestering them with questions before the three were even able to sit down.

"We can't tell you everything," said Faith, "but we can tell you some things."

The three of them set to answering some of the queries as the train went on. When the train got to the King's Cross Station, the students all piled out, with the Triumvirate meeting up with Buffy and the Golden Trio when they left. They all saw Harry off with some Order members, before looking back at Hermione and the Weasley family.

"Well, I guess this means we've gotta find a place to set up as our own home," said Buffy to the others, "any ideas?"

"How about in Ottery St. Catchpole?" suggested Mordred, "we already know some of the Mage families who live near there."

This brought a lot of grins on the Weasley family faces, but Buffy shot it down.

"Too crowded," she said, "and besides, we need an area that is far away from everyone so that we can have our friends from our world come in without anyone noticing."

"How about where you live Hermione?" asked Dawn, "is it crowded where you live at?"

"Yes, it's very crowded there," replied Hermione disappointedly, "but that doesn't mean you can't try visiting, as I don't see much of my parents anyways as they're always busy. Most likely I'll be at the Weasleys this summer as well, since there I'm not lonely."

The four foreign students then split off from the happy group of Weasleys (and lone Granger), heading off in no particular direction. Faith and Buffy chatted about how nice it was that Spike was allowed to stay with Hagrid and use the Chamber of Secrets until they found a home when Dawn suddenly came up with an idea.

"We could go to the place where the Dursleys went to when they were trying to get away from the letters," she said all in a breath, her voice excited at the idea. "It's damp, and very small, but it would be the perfect area as no one really goes there that much."

"Where is it?" asked Buffy.

"It's several hours away from Little Whinging," said Dawn earnestly, "it's an abandoned lighthouse located on the sea."

"_Where_ on the sea, Dawn?" asked Buffy tiredly, "remember there is sea all around us. This _is_ England after all."

"I'll show you," replied Dawn smartly as she pulled out a map and pointed at the area she had in mind, "it's right there on the edge, see?"

The others gathered around the map and looked at it, before they went to a nearby restaurant and ordered a lunch. They spent the rest of the day browsing at various stores and generally sightseeing the area until it got dark. When evening came, Dawn pointed her wand out and caused a Night Bus to appear, allowing the four of them to get on and head to their location. They slept most of the night on the beds in the bus before they were woken up and dropped off at the edge of the sea where they found a boat for them. The Slayers grudgingly rowed the four of them out to the Hut on the rock that the Dursleys had escaped to so many years ago, finding a broken down lighthouse that was almost washed away. The four of them began casting some spells on the lighthouse so that although it remained decrepit-looking, it wouldn't fall apart for any reason while being mostly invisible. When they were finished their spells on it, Mordred pulled out both of his wands while Dawn helped out by putting her wand on his shoulder.

"Ok," said Mordred as he pointed both of his wands at the lighthouse, "here goes nothing."

He then shot energy into the door of the lighthouse, illuminating it the entire building and causing it to change shapes. It melted into a small dome that was mirrored and had a single door on it like an igloo, and when they went to it instead of opening up the door just faded away like an illusion. Although the dome itself was the size of the lighthouse, the inside was huge, spanning several hundred feet in every direction like a football stadium.

"Rather spacious," said Buffy as the four of them walked into their new home, "but it sorta lacks furniture."

"And walls," added Dawn, "I don't know about you two, but I am not into getting dressed in front of any males."

"We can work on that," replied Mordred as he went to the middle, "but first we have to create a door to your homeworld. Now, all three of you place your hands on my shoulders and think of your homeworld. I need a picture of it in my mind if we want to open a door there."

Mordred pointed one of his wands at the ground, and as the three girls placed their hands on his shoulders his wand gathered up energy. When he was ready he shot a beam of black energy into the ground, causing a door to appear. It was a red painted door made of Willow bark, and it had a gold plate above it with a name and two smiley faces to either side.

"Willow Rosenberg!" cried out Buffy, as she went over to it and opened it up.

It revealed a table covered in various spell books inside an unfamiliar room, but before any of them could go in the viewpoint of the door quickly swung around to look at a library filled with various people including an older Englishman in a tweed suit named Giles and a one-eyed man named Xander whom were all reading various books.

"Did you guys just hear something?" asked a voice coming from the doorway that the four students were looking into. The people she was looking at all shook their heads and the view went back to the book the door was looking at originally.

"We're seeing things from Willow's point of view," stated Dawn happily before calling out, "hey Willow!"

The door representing Willow's view moved back and forth quickly.

"Now I _know_ I heard something," she said, but before she could panic Buffy set to explaining things to her.

"It's ok," she said, "it's only me, Dawn and Faith as well as another guy here in your head. Find an area that's not crowded so that we can come through?"

"How about I get something in case you're not who you say you are?" suggested Willow. "That way I can give it back to you if you are the real Buffy, and if not then at least I can defend myself from you."

"Ok, grab whatever you need," replied Buffy, "and I'll wait until you're ready."

The four observers watched as Willow went to an area where there was room, and she grabbed up a bag that held something rather large and hid it behind her back.

"Ok, whenever you're ready," she said as she slid the weapon out from the bag using her hands only.

Buffy stepped through the door, and was met with a crackling of energy that temporarily blinded the other three. When they regained their sights, they saw that the door had changed, and both the redheaded Willow and a now once again adult Buffy staring through it at them. Buffy was holding onto the Slayer Scythe, as Willow had given it to her when she crossed over.

"Come on guys", said Buffy to the others. Faith went through, followed by Dawn. Mordred stayed behind, watching the two other girls change back to their original ages as they went through.

"I think I'll stay here," said Mordred cautiously, "why don't you guys try walking through again to see if you go younger again?"

Buffy walked through holding onto the Scythe, but the second she got through the entire area erupted with light and spread outwards. It lasted only for a minute, but when it was done the entire dome was suddenly filled with rooms of various sizes, all of which had words written in plaques on the walls in different areas. The rest of the Scooby Gang walked through the door, and looked around the area.

"What happened?" asked Buffy, as she looked at the other weirdly marked doors.

"I think I know what happened," replied Willow as she tapped the Scythe with her finger. "I've felt this before. I do believe that we just activated a whole lot more Slayers in different worlds."

"How do you know that?" asked Giles as he rubbed his glasses.

"Because I can now feel them as well as the others," Willow replied, "there's now _millions_ out there, and we can start with the ones in the world you were just in. We're in a world between worlds, where we can access almost any area we want to go to, but mostly we'll be going to any areas that have Slayers in them."

"I guess this means we'll have to go find those other Slayers," said Buffy, "so that we can form our own army of Slayers, as well as other beings that support our cause."

"Yes!" Shouted Mordred happily. "I've always wanted to take over the Multi-verse, and now we can with an army of Slayers to command!"

The others gave him uneasy grins as he went about the doors while they all set things up in their new base of operations and tell each other their stories.

**Epilogue: The EndWar Begins**

High above one of the two Poles, only a few hundred feet below where the Ozone Layer protected the earth, a sudden explosion occurred. A small dark form flew through the air, falling through stormy clouds as it was pelted with ice and lightening. Faster and faster it fell, screaming silently against the raging storm that surrounded it. It finally crashed into the top of a glacial mountain peak, breaking it off before bouncing down the ice-made mountain. A small avalanche followed the being as it tried to grab something to slow its descent, but to no avail. Finally the avalanche flung itself with the unfortunate being off of an edge, where it crashed into the stormy waters below it. The being was tossed around by waves and sunk by a large chunk of ice that hit it, causing it to sink deep into the water. It stopped groping for purchase on the ice and used its only arm to reach into its head. Crying out a bubbling scream that filled what remained of its lungs with water, it yanked a white toned wand with a bone handle out of where its right eye should have been. It pointed the gore-covered wand upwards, and with a gurgling word it shot upwards through the water, sending the creature into the air only to crash onto a patch of ice that bobbed up and down in the water. The creature clutched the wand with its' one hand, and tried to drag its legless body upright, but every time it got up it was knocked back down by the constant bobbing of the water. The flesh of the creature began to freeze over, and the many areas where it was bleeding froze up and turned into ice. It opened its one remaining red eye, and glared out at what was before it. It opened up its mouth and vomited blood mixed with water out into the sea, before closing its eye and passing out. It remained that way for several weeks, and would have remained that way for several months had a door not mysteriously opened where no door should be and a pair of robotic limbs pulled the comatose Lord Voldemort into a room before the door slammed close and disappeared like it never was there in the first place.

_To Be Continued_


End file.
